Long loop home: A memoir

by Peter Wells

Together, the pieces in this book make a kind of informal autobiography, covering Peter's family stories and myths, his childhood and adolescence through the 1950s and experiences from his adulthood.Being born into a family where his only other sibling was also homosexual, there were many difficult issues that had to be faced and many others that were ignored. Peter re-examines those times and his own coming out when few were brave enough to do so. In addition, there are insightful pieces written about New Zealand as a place to live in. Also included are such diverse topics as the arrival of television, the intricacies of flower arranging, the depth of friendship and an exploration of a murder. Overriding them all is the powerful and touching love for a brother who was to die of AIDS and for a mother who has always been the most important person in his life.

315 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

Reviews

[Liam Ostermann · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic memoir by one of my favorite authors. I loved it because I loved his novel 'Boy Overboard' and short story collections 'Duration of a Kiss' and 'Dangerous Desires'. Because I had read those books, particularly 'Boy Overboard' I already knew many of the stories that make up these memoirs. Like Peter Wells I come from a generation that took it for granted that the best writing was based on lived experience but didn't expect novels to be written as, or treated, as confessional truth that, nowadays, that readers, probably thanks to the marketing departments of publishers, take for granted they are. That doesn't mean that 'Long Loop Home' is more 'true' than 'Boy Overboard'. In many ways 'Boy Overboard', like any fiction, contains more, or at least greater truths, because an artist takes raw material and creates something new out of it, otherwise you simply have reportage.

This memoir is not reportage, there is truth, but also a great deal of art, in it and because telling the story of your life involves constructing a version of it, your version, and you see the world and everyone in it through your eyes and even being aware of this doesn't prevent it happening. Of course Peter Wells is aware of this, and his ability to look back on his life with honesty is what makes this memoir so readable and important.

Although Peter Wells was born in New Zealand eight years before me, he conjures up a childhood that echoes mine in Ireland on the other side of the world a decade or more later. It may seem like ancient history now but the world of yesterday is much closer than you might imagine.

I particularly loved the clear presentation of his youthful self that Mr. Wells has created, particularly of his decision at a very young age that his family couldn't 'afford' to have two homosexual sons and although incredibly effeminate in his behavior tried to suppress his sexuality while his only, elder brother Russell, who was also gay, was both out and proud but also much more conventionally boyish. As a portrait of how the 'closet' with its lies and denials could work to make a young gay boy hate and torture himself these memoirs are superb. Not because they are grand guignol horror stories but because they are not. In the beautifully realised tales of growing up and hiding who you are from everyone including yourself Peter Wells has captured quietly the nightmare of so many whose life was not a soap opera.

But, despite his parents incomprehension, they did have two 'gay' boys on their hands, and while there was sadness incomprehension there was also solidarity and love. Neither boy was thrown out or rejected and when you read how Russell's death from AIDS nearly destroyed their mother you glimpse the complexities of a parents unconditional love for what they do not understand.

I don't want you to imagine this is a memoir about growing gay and alone because it is so much more. Its evocation of life before and after the arrival of television, of New Zealand's complicated social hierarchies, which were complicated by being denied, is superb. So are his tales of family and friends.

I don't want to go into specifics because it may lessen your desire to read this book and I would hate to do that because this is a memoir anyone can and should love. If you doubt me read the other enthusiastic reviews on GR.

For readers outside of Australia and New Zealand Peter Well's books can be difficult or expensive (because of postage costs) to obtain. I can only assure you I have regretted none of the expense acquiring some, not all, his books required and would have paid more.

[Susan Haines · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really well-written memoir/collection of personal essays in which not a whole lot happens. There were many times I wanted to highlight passages because they struck me so profoundly, sort of universal truths or things that made me actually put the book down to take it in. Very philosophical.
I think a person who grew up gay in this same era will probably really love this book, as much of it centers around the difficulty with that. I read it for a much more on-the-surface reason; I wanted to hear about what it was like to grow up in New Zealand as I will be visiting there. I was glad to see how much he wrote about the geography and geology shaping his life there.

[IE · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only memoir I’ve ever read. I was very saddened to learn (after I finished reading the book a couple of days ago and googled the author) that Peter Wells has now died, but not before he moved into a villa in Napier, as I read in another book (about old New Zealand villa houses) and this was how I found out about Long Loop Home. When reading the book I really wanted to write to Peter, this book really moved me and has stayed with me for the few days after reading it. I especially enjoyed the writings about life in the 50s and 60s house wife expectations, and descriptions of his grandmother’s Napier lifestyle, the coined Napierness, and the “old fashioned” ways of doing things, like using flour sacks for pockets on home sewn school shorts. I found the book really relatable as a New Zealander, although of course my experience has been different, I knew a lot of the places he spoke of, and it all felt familiar... plus maybe we weren’t so different after all. Rest in Peace, Peter, I wish I had come across your book sooner

[Brendaniel Weir · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. The structure of episodic essays works well - they are presented as little islands of memory - sometimes linked sometimes floating on their own. It is an articulate form of the experience all adults have of memory, particularly childhood memories. Being a gay man who was brought up in a similar environment, many of the stories resonated strongly with me.

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best Autobiographies I have read recently, and an insight into the lives of a generation of leaders of change in NZ.