The Beloved Dearly

The Beloved Dearly #1

by Doug Cooney, Tony DiTerlizzi (Illustrator)

Ernie is a twelve-year-old tycoon, always on the lookout for a fast buck. This time he stumbles onto a money-making bonanza: pet funerals. He hires Dusty to decorate the burial boxes and Tony to dig the holes, but his prize find is Swimming Pool, a tomboy who can cry on cue.

Business goes through the roof -- until Ernie loses Swimming Pool over a raise and the whole venture unravels. Here is a rollicking, fun-spirited novel about friendship, loss, business -- and how we learn to express our feelings.

Genres: Middle Grade, Fiction, Childrens, Humor, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Audiobook

192 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2001

About the author

Doug Cooney is a versatile writer based in Los Angeles, with a wide-ranging career as a screenwriter, playwright, novelist, and lyricist. He has received the Charlotte B. Chorpenning Cup from the American Alliance for Theater and Education for his distinguished work in theatre for young audiences. His plays and musicals have been produced and commissioned by major institutions such as the Kennedy Center, Lincoln Center Institute, Mark Taper Forum, and South Coast Repertory.
Cooney’s television work includes writing for Disney Junior’s Sofia the First, and his children’s novels—The Beloved Dearly, I Know Who Likes You, and Nobody’s Perfect—have been published by Simon & Schuster. His short film Abuelo has been recognized at film festivals nationally and internationally.
As an educator, he has contributed to the Los Angeles Master Chorale’s Voices Within program and taught at institutions including UCLA Extension, Chapman University, Cypress College, and California State University, Long Beach. He holds degrees from the University of Virginia, University of Florida, and Trinity Rep Conservatory.

Reviews

[Miranda Reads]

"With decisive air, Ernie flipped open his jobs notebook, turned to a blank page, and wrote down the word funerals."

Ernie is the idea-man. The trouble-maker. The too-clever-for-his-own-good kid.

And lately, all he can think about is:

"The bank, the beans, the jimmy, the jive. The moola, the greenbacks, the dead presidents!" Ernie cried. He was talking about money.

He wants to make a lot of money and fast - whether it be booger insurance or cheeseburgers, he doesn't care.

But his dad? That's another story.

"I'm the one who has to work...I earn the money. Not you. I'm the grownup. You're the kid."
"But Dad!"

Ernie's dad forbids any and all future harebrained schemes.

But now that it's just the two of them, Ernie feels alone and wants to (though he won't admit it) be like his dad and take care of himself like a grownup.

And grownups wouldn't let other grownups tell them what they can and can't do.

A crafty neighborhood kid becomes Ernie's coffin-maker and the toughest girl on the block becomes the crybaby. And so...the pet funeral business begins.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this one!

I loved the way the author took such a macabre concept - especially for children - and turned it into a lovable plot with a surprising amount of depth.

Ernie and gang were hilariously smart. Every time Ernie barked orders in his phone or rounded up his team - pure gold.

I loved Swimming Pool (the crybaby) - she was (by far) my favorite character. She was such a loving, tough and completely sweet character.

And the coffin-maker - all the arts and crafts involving shoeboxes and shopping carts. It was strange, and I liked it.

Overall, this was definitely a fun story!

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[Jill]

For Crying Out Loud,

Twelve-year-old Ernie had a brilliant idea, he was going to sell MacDonald's hamburgers to the students in his lunch room. It was working well until the principal got ahold of him and called his father. Ernie's father told him if he ever started another business, he would be grounded.

While talking to his father about the cost of his mother's funeral, an idea popped into Ernie's head, he would go into the funeral business. Kids were always losing pets.

Ernie hired an artistic kid, named Dusty, to make the pet-size caskets. He hired Tony, the boy with the shovel, to dig the graves. Something was missing. He needed some emotion to get the mourners going. Dusty suggested a tomboy named Swimming Pool.

Ernie interviewed Swimming Pool, trying to find a soft spot. "Have you ever lost a pet."
"No".
"Had a bad report card?"
"No."
"Had someone leave and not know if you'd ever see them again?"
Finally a tear threatened, as Swimming Pool thought of her older brother leaving home.

The day of the first funeral, Swimming Pool, wearing her red sneakers and an awful purple dress, tried everything to bring about tears. She pinched herself, punched herself in the eye and still no tears. But, finally the tears came.

Ernie ran funerals for pets including rabbits, turtles, and an iguana, but he drew the line when it came to an earth worm. He was a hard boss, who would rather lose his business than to give his crew a raise.

Will his dad stumble upon his funeral business? If Ernie is grounded, who will run the business? Will he be able to make his partners happy? Will the pets keep dying?

This is a fun book about friendship and smart business sense.

Jill Ammon Vanderwood
author: Through the Rug
Through The Rug: Follow That Dog (Through the Rug)

[Katie]

I thought this book was funny, but I'm not sure that younger kids will get all the farce. The descriptions of little kids running a business and barking orders into their cell phones were a hoot!

[Jaema]

I remember reading this as a kid and thinking it was the funniest piece of literature to exist. Good times.

[Cora Peterson]

Very cute entertaining read

[Sharon]

Okay.

style-3/5 This really could've been better. I was kind of comparing it to the TOTALLY AWESOME book the Best Christmas Pageant Ever, but is that even comparable? Beloved Dearly wasn't nearly that good. It didn't make me laugh, although it was easy to understand. No complicated paragraphs. A nice change.

characters-2/5 Again, could've been better. I got to know Swimming Pool (the girl) the most, simply because the author focused on her relationships with other people. But I could've cared less if Ernie or any of the others had died tragically. Seriously.

story-4/5 Typical for this type of book. Creative though.

Overall, here's the give: while it was pretty good in its own respect, the Best Christmas Pageant Ever is SO MUCH BETTER! Yeah.

[Melanie Fair]

Transitions are hard, which is why writers get stereotyped so easily. You don't see Stephen King writing children's stories, do you?
I think "The Beloved Dearly" would be fun to see in person, but it didn't translate well to the novel. I could tell there were a lot of sight gags, but suspension of belief was impossible for me. Seriously, they all acted like adults, which would have been cute in a made-for-t.v. movie...but not this novel. Mr. Cooney is primarily a scriptwriter and playwright, and "The Beloved Dearly" was a play, so that explains the bad transition.
All in all, it was a good idea executed in the wrong form.

[Praise Reads]

Wry and a little offbeat, The Beloved Dearly follows Ernie Flowers, a boy who starts seeing ghosts after a near-death experience. Instead of fear, his situation turns oddly practical when his family realizes his ability could be useful, especially when it leads to a job connected to a funeral home run by a man named Charles. As Ernie interacts with the dead and tries to navigate his normal life, the story mixes humor with moments of unease and reflection. It’s an unusual premise that doesn’t always go as deep as it could, but it stays engaging. The tone balances dark ideas with lightness, making it a strange but interesting read.

RATING: three out of five stars.

[Lisa the Librarian]

This book was not nearly as fun as the blurb on the back made it sound like it would be. The characters were kind of flat and the plot was pretty weak.

The idea of kids running a pet funeral business, with no adults knowledge, and the business including a professional crier sounds much more intriguing than the actual execution of this story.

[Thomas]

A quirky little book about a boy about my age trying to make money! His funny little money making ideas make for entertaining reading. for example my favourite idea of his was the fast buck hamburger where he bought 30 cheap hamburgers and sold them at lunch for $3 each! hmmm maybe I should try that!

[Ali]

I enjoyed this book when I was 7ish, but rereading it, I’m not sure why. I didn’t particularly like it as an adult, but I can’t imagine it will hold most kids’ attention, either. It’s pretty dry, and not in a calming, low-stimulation way. It doesn’t approach grief with any nuance (even though it’s about dead pets and dead parents). I’m not really sure what the message of the book is supposed to be. Kids will not understand the “jokes” in the book, because they’re all parodies of working an office job. It feels like the narrator is constantly asking us adults: “haha? Get it? Do you get it? It’s because kids don’t have jobs!” Yes. We get it.

[LobsterQuadrille]

The Beloved Dearly is a sweet story, but it feels a bit incomplete. I was waiting to figure out what Cat Lady's connection to Betty's late rabbit was, but there was never an answer. And we never found out Swimming Pool's real name. I hope her parents didn't actually write "Swimming Pool" on her birth certificate. These seem like minor sticking points but wrapping up little details like these would have gone a long way to making the story a bit more satisfying. Still, it's cute and mostly silly, worth trying out even if I don't reread it.

[Sarah]

I love this story! It is about a boy who has a business mind and he wants to earn money and help others. It is so creative and captures readers attention quickly. It also covers the ideas of grief, loss, friendship, and creativity. This could be a fun book to use when discussing supply and demand and other business related things. I would recommend it to young adults from 6th to 8th grade. It isn't too complicated but it is worth reading.

[Taylor Winslow]

I loved this book as a kid and I have been searching for it ever since. It only took becoming an elementary librarian for me to finally find this book again! Whenever I searched online for what I remembered as a book about a pet cemetery, well, you know what comes up. But I'm so glad I finally found this again while randomly browsing my shelf!

[Lilly Guirguis]

“Sometimes, children glow inside.”

“It’s never too late to stand up for yourself!”

Enjoy this immersive audiobook narrated by Doug Cooley, starring a variety of male and female voices that bring Ernie and his friends to life!

Also read if you love middle grade stories about friendship and pets that are funny and heartfelt. :)

[Karla]

I had this book when I was young and really enjoyed it. I lent it but was not able to get it back. I remember loving the cover art and was not aware that it's Mr. Tony. I really love his art style and I'm now collecting his art books and then I see this on his list. I hope I get to see another copy of this book, it'll be great to add to my collection.

[Kinzie Mackey]

This is a middle grade book that I found from a favorite booktuber of mine, readbyzoe. She has kind of disappeared from vlogging, but this was a book she read when she was a kid, and it was one of her favorites. I had never heard of it, and wanted to give it a try. It was a very sweet story, and I recommend it. Very cute, and it ended differently than I thought it would.

[Ruth]

I used to check this book out all the time from the library when I was a kid, but I never got around to actually reading it. It’s a unique plot with kids running a pet funeral business. It turned out to be more heartfelt than I originally thought.

[Bev]

The description of this story is much better than the execution. Ernie really annoyed me and all the other characters felt flat and underdeveloped, except Swimming Pool. Admittedly I'm not the target audience but I can't imagine I would have loved it as a child either. 2.5 stars.

[Melanie]

Ernie is always coming up with money making schemes. His dad is tired of getting called to the school to get him out of detention and sets some consequences. What will end up happening? I love the characters and how they grow in depth as the story goes on.

[Nicole Mosley]

A funny read for kids about an enterprising young man who seeks to make a fortune on pet funerals.

[Steph]

Was definitely longer than it needed to be but the money-making schemes and pet funeral idea were kept me reading. Super cute concept.

[J-mama]

Ernie is the face of capitalism 🤑

[Yra]

love their friendship

[Maggie Schwanke Velicer]

Reread this childhood favorite and it still holds true. “Sometimes children glow with life.” 💛

[Emily (letsgoreadabook)]

Super silly and I think this would be a great read for young readers. I buddy read this with my 12 year old cousin and she thought it was funny.

[Benjamin Shurance]

Listened to the full cast audio book on a long car ride with the kids. The characters were fairly endearing.

[Sarah Lyons]

This didn’t keep my interest well, it’s on my battle of the books list and I worry it won’t entertain the 4th graders either

[Brenda]

This is really a nice and funny book.
One of the few that I found that gave me comfort after my dog died, even though it’s a junior book.

[Lydia Shearin]

So sweet and heartwarming. Great 4th grade read aloud.