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LIES OUR MOTHERS TOLD US The Indian Woman’s Burden
Savitribai Phule, Mahasweta Devi, Amrita Pritam, Medha Patkar, Kamla Bhasin, and countless others have, since the nineteenth century, fought for and won equal rights for Indian women in a variety of areas—universal suffrage, inheritance and property rights, equal remuneration, prevention of sexual harassment at the workplace, and others. Pioneering feminists believed that due to these hard-won rights, their daughters and granddaughters would have the opportunity to have rewarding careers, participate in the social and political growth of the country, gain economic independence, and become equal partners in their marriages. On paper, it would appear that the lot of Indian women in the twenty-first century has vastly improved but, in reality, the demands of capitalism and the persistence of patriarchal attitudes have meant that they continue to lead lives that are hard and unequal, especially when compared to their male counterparts.
259 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 5, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
August 19, 2022
things i liked about this book:
- the premise of the book targets the lives (and challenges) of middle-class indian women which is a segment often neglected when it comes to empowerment schemes and feminist movements. it felt good to read about the fragment of society my family and i belong to and to relate with the instances of ever-present patriarchy that dwells in these circumstances. i have seen my grandparents' flagrant preferences for a male child which is still dominant, acknowledged, and noted in the conversations i have personally had with people belonging to rural communities. to have all these experiences validated and consolidated in a published text feels appreciative of such struggles.
- i learnt a lot about customs pervasive in our country, which i think is accredited to the author's journalistic background that warrants such information (with anecdotal and statistical evidence) to be disseminated to an audience. i was acquainted with practices such as 'Water-Wives' (marriages in drought-struck regions of rural Maharashtra to have more women available to get water from wells), the nuances of the Narmada Bachao Andolan, or the role of female demonstrators in the Farmer's Protest, which served to provide context to the plight of an indian woman.
- nilanjana bhowmick does not shy away from discussing the dilemmas of her own personal life which makes this account more intimate and resonating as she strives to make other women speak up along with her and script a new narrative where their lives are not defined by their relationships to men.
- support for radical feminism over liberal feminism is very rare (at least as per my interactions with similar literary works) which seemed promising. my favourite was the diss on the oppressive nature of capitalism.
- got a lot of textual and cinematic references i would want to read/watch/listen to in the near future (i already loved Devi by Satyajit Ray)
- the part where we get to fangirl over farhan akhtar (!!!)
———
things i did not like about this book:
perhaps i misinterpreted the authorial intention but i feel like this book is largely problem-oriented. i agree that even such a format is necessary for enhanced awareness of a societal segment that's commonly overlooked but a blatant statement of drawbacks doesn't seem encouraging for a text that advocates for change but doesn't underline how that is to be brought about. a lot of the solutions seem very idealistic somehow, almost as if they don't account for the complexities present to actually guarantee equality.
———
favourite bits:
"I thought my mother had it all. It was a lie. She made me believe that the world would be a fairer, more equal place for women when I grew up—she told me that I could have it all. That was a lie, too."
"I honoured her lies because they came from a place of love and immense hope. But when has love and hope ever been enough to change the world?"
(so much love for Chapter 8: Why Women Stay in Bad Marriages)
"I am deeply thankful to all the women who have believed I can, and to all the men who have said I can't."
———
and here's a quote my mother told me when i was a kid:
यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते, रमन्ते तत्र देवताः
- the premise of the book targets the lives (and challenges) of middle-class indian women which is a segment often neglected when it comes to empowerment schemes and feminist movements. it felt good to read about the fragment of society my family and i belong to and to relate with the instances of ever-present patriarchy that dwells in these circumstances. i have seen my grandparents' flagrant preferences for a male child which is still dominant, acknowledged, and noted in the conversations i have personally had with people belonging to rural communities. to have all these experiences validated and consolidated in a published text feels appreciative of such struggles.
- i learnt a lot about customs pervasive in our country, which i think is accredited to the author's journalistic background that warrants such information (with anecdotal and statistical evidence) to be disseminated to an audience. i was acquainted with practices such as 'Water-Wives' (marriages in drought-struck regions of rural Maharashtra to have more women available to get water from wells), the nuances of the Narmada Bachao Andolan, or the role of female demonstrators in the Farmer's Protest, which served to provide context to the plight of an indian woman.
- nilanjana bhowmick does not shy away from discussing the dilemmas of her own personal life which makes this account more intimate and resonating as she strives to make other women speak up along with her and script a new narrative where their lives are not defined by their relationships to men.
- support for radical feminism over liberal feminism is very rare (at least as per my interactions with similar literary works) which seemed promising. my favourite was the diss on the oppressive nature of capitalism.
- got a lot of textual and cinematic references i would want to read/watch/listen to in the near future (i already loved Devi by Satyajit Ray)
- the part where we get to fangirl over farhan akhtar (!!!)
———
things i did not like about this book:
perhaps i misinterpreted the authorial intention but i feel like this book is largely problem-oriented. i agree that even such a format is necessary for enhanced awareness of a societal segment that's commonly overlooked but a blatant statement of drawbacks doesn't seem encouraging for a text that advocates for change but doesn't underline how that is to be brought about. a lot of the solutions seem very idealistic somehow, almost as if they don't account for the complexities present to actually guarantee equality.
———
favourite bits:
"I thought my mother had it all. It was a lie. She made me believe that the world would be a fairer, more equal place for women when I grew up—she told me that I could have it all. That was a lie, too."
"I honoured her lies because they came from a place of love and immense hope. But when has love and hope ever been enough to change the world?"
(so much love for Chapter 8: Why Women Stay in Bad Marriages)
"I am deeply thankful to all the women who have believed I can, and to all the men who have said I can't."
———
and here's a quote my mother told me when i was a kid:
यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते, रमन्ते तत्र देवताः
August 1, 2022
Once in a while I pick up books, especially ones that deal with the social issues and plight of women.
I got to know about this one from a plethora of reviews on many mainstream newspapers. Links below:-
Tribune
https://www.tribuneindia.com/news/rev...
news9live
https://www.news9live.com/art-culture...
etc...
There are some excerpts also available online.
So here goes
The good parts are the author has very brutally called out her own family issues and also mentioned her own mental battles with depression. That was honest and hit hard.
But while this touched the topic of patriarchy and Indian women, I would like to point out that this is a common issue almost in most countries of the world and not only India. This is a human problem, period.
The other issue I have is, is there no solution to this... Realms have been written and realms have been discussed, but nobody seems to touch any solution. With the author's experience and empowerment as a women, I would really appreciate a book wherein she provides her solutions to this neverending saga. Till then I am halfway through the stars.
A good book to read if you are in a serious mood and require some brain food.
I got to know about this one from a plethora of reviews on many mainstream newspapers. Links below:-
Tribune
https://www.tribuneindia.com/news/rev...
news9live
https://www.news9live.com/art-culture...
etc...
There are some excerpts also available online.
So here goes
The good parts are the author has very brutally called out her own family issues and also mentioned her own mental battles with depression. That was honest and hit hard.
But while this touched the topic of patriarchy and Indian women, I would like to point out that this is a common issue almost in most countries of the world and not only India. This is a human problem, period.
The other issue I have is, is there no solution to this... Realms have been written and realms have been discussed, but nobody seems to touch any solution. With the author's experience and empowerment as a women, I would really appreciate a book wherein she provides her solutions to this neverending saga. Till then I am halfway through the stars.
A good book to read if you are in a serious mood and require some brain food.
October 21, 2025
All Indians, socialized as femme or not, *must* read this. It is not only extremely informative but highlights why development initiatives have barely worked so far, and beautifully structures why change needs to begins at home along with anecdotes centered on Indian women.
The critique of Bhowmick "stating an issue w no solution" is unreasonable and untrue given that she makes reccomendations where she can (for ex: residential schools).
What would've truly completed LOMTU is a caste perspective which the books lacks. Bhowmick overlooks several opportunities she herself posits to address the avg Savarna woman's complicity in upholding patriarchal structures, especially given that caste oppression between women happens behind closed doors. It's a pity she didn't talk about it as she does address caste and class inequity - just without holding caste women accountable. It's also not a secret that Indian women subject eachother to harmful judgement and expectations regardless of caste as well. Bhowmick mentions this to an extent but doesn't really talk about its harm.
Finally, i would've loved to hear more anecdotes from women outside of the North.
Overall I really really loved lomtu. It pissed me off but was healing in many ways
The critique of Bhowmick "stating an issue w no solution" is unreasonable and untrue given that she makes reccomendations where she can (for ex: residential schools).
What would've truly completed LOMTU is a caste perspective which the books lacks. Bhowmick overlooks several opportunities she herself posits to address the avg Savarna woman's complicity in upholding patriarchal structures, especially given that caste oppression between women happens behind closed doors. It's a pity she didn't talk about it as she does address caste and class inequity - just without holding caste women accountable. It's also not a secret that Indian women subject eachother to harmful judgement and expectations regardless of caste as well. Bhowmick mentions this to an extent but doesn't really talk about its harm.
Finally, i would've loved to hear more anecdotes from women outside of the North.
Overall I really really loved lomtu. It pissed me off but was healing in many ways
September 27, 2022
Every woman should read this book & buy it for her daughter/ daughter in law. Numerous facts, harsh realities, ironies & many instances of instant connections with women feeling what you feel. This book brings to the fore what we don't talk about in society or at homes. Things shrugged aside, unnoticed & brushed underneath the carpet get resonated through this book. You would have felt or gone through similar things in your life, more than once. If nothing else, it makes you realise you are not the only one feeling what you feel & it is not wrong to feel what you feel!
May 1, 2023
It has a lot of Information on what we often consider normal but is an act of patriarchy. Unfortunately, the author has neglected to include stories from South India - typical Vadak behaviour. This is Lies Our Mothers Told UsThe North Indian woman's burden.
May 28, 2024
The first two chapters make you feel that this is just another book highlighting the patriarchy that we already know exists and may not offer anything new or groundbreaking. But this changes from chapt3-4 not because we are confronted with things we didn't know before but because the anecdotal style of narration just hits a chord. The ancedotes with hard-hitting and relevant statistics just drive home the message in the right way.
So I guess the applause is to execution than the concept itself!
Again, nothing ground-breaking, but it makes you more sensitive to the status of women in our society. And creating sensitivity is much more difficult than creating awareness, as the latter is rudimentary while the former needs a more nuanced approach, and this book definitely does justice to that.
So I guess the applause is to execution than the concept itself!
Again, nothing ground-breaking, but it makes you more sensitive to the status of women in our society. And creating sensitivity is much more difficult than creating awareness, as the latter is rudimentary while the former needs a more nuanced approach, and this book definitely does justice to that.
May 25, 2023
When feminism is a luxury.
The book includes several anecdotes that throw light on patriarchy and misanthropic society.
Through this book the author wants to show the toxic and hypocritical mindset of those people who want a working and ambitious woman but want to keep her subordinate towards their family and society.
She was expected to become a superwoman and manage her work and family life without any help. She also told about the physical and mental stress a woman faces in her daily life through the story of her mother. She despised her father as a worse husband who did nothing but make his wife's life difficult. This is a great and wonderful book and should be read by everyone regardless of any gender. This is a must read book.
The book includes several anecdotes that throw light on patriarchy and misanthropic society.
Through this book the author wants to show the toxic and hypocritical mindset of those people who want a working and ambitious woman but want to keep her subordinate towards their family and society.
She was expected to become a superwoman and manage her work and family life without any help. She also told about the physical and mental stress a woman faces in her daily life through the story of her mother. She despised her father as a worse husband who did nothing but make his wife's life difficult. This is a great and wonderful book and should be read by everyone regardless of any gender. This is a must read book.
August 9, 2022
A hard-hitting book that nobody should miss out. Specially men.
July 23, 2023
I thought my mother had it all. It was a lie. She made me believe that the world would be a fairer, more equal place for women when I grew up—she told me that I could have it all. That was a lie, too."
Did you know that Indian women are amongst the most overworked in the world.A 2019 survey reports that women in our country shoulder 82 percent of the domestic work and 28 percent of caregiving while men shoulder 28 percent of domestic work and 14 percent of caregiving. This is one of the many hard hitting realities which you will find in the book.
Living in our shell, the narrative may seem biased and bent towards proving the oppressive condition of women still existing in the society. What we fail to understand is that at several levels the societal construct is still flawed. Domestic violence, mental abuse, marital rape, lack of safety of women is still prelevant around us. In some cases, we choose to turn a blind eye to it thinking it's none of our business and in many cases are oblivious of the fact that such things are rampant because it may not be happening in our niche circle.
This 200 page odd book is a reminder that from the purview of the outside society, we have tended to display a modern behavior, getting basic education for our daughters, asking her to become financially independent and stable but little do we do to train our sons to adapt to the change as well. We are trying to produce a generation of super women who are high performers at work and adept at household chores, while ensuring they have an active hobby as well. This book is a reminder that in the garb of Feminism and Modern India, women have several rights on paper but no or little support to exercise them. “We tend to wear short skirts to a club, but prefer to cover up when traveling alone or using public transport. We think twice before accepting a job that involves a night shift. We are constantly reminded to be on the phone with a friend or a family member if in a cab alone in the evening”
The author talks about bleak truths, the effectiveness of right to education and the number of girl dropouts from school to support mother in the field or household chores, suicide & dowry related deaths due to marriage, female foeticide, the limited role of fathers in the household. Did you know, around 21 women die everyday in India owing to dowry related harassment. They are either murdered or compelled to kill themselves. The chapters Why women stay in bad marriages and why women are missing from public spaces are nothing less than an eye opener for both men and women. The author narrates true accounts of women where inequality is embraced in the garb of gender roles, explores government's role in the implementation of Right to Education, Beti Bachao Beti Padhao Scheme, the concept of Pradhan Pati, and exemplifies women’s role in social causes and many more practices about which we may or may not be aware of.
This book brings to the forefront many issues which we do not discuss in the society or at home since it may be considered too rebellious. The feminist movement has left behind several middle class women whose struggles are invisible women, whose needs and plight should be addressed.The author concludes with a ray of hope stating things are changing for the good. Women are trying to come out of bad marriages, sons are being raised as compassionate and girls are being raised as passionate and independent.
Still there is a long way to go before the society moves out of its patriarchal nature if it could ever happen. A simple writing style makes this book easy to read, it takes some time to grasp the hard hitting numbers and anecdotes and plethora of topics covered. A must read for all men and women but with an OPEN MIND and ability to digest the truth.
Did you know that Indian women are amongst the most overworked in the world.A 2019 survey reports that women in our country shoulder 82 percent of the domestic work and 28 percent of caregiving while men shoulder 28 percent of domestic work and 14 percent of caregiving. This is one of the many hard hitting realities which you will find in the book.
Living in our shell, the narrative may seem biased and bent towards proving the oppressive condition of women still existing in the society. What we fail to understand is that at several levels the societal construct is still flawed. Domestic violence, mental abuse, marital rape, lack of safety of women is still prelevant around us. In some cases, we choose to turn a blind eye to it thinking it's none of our business and in many cases are oblivious of the fact that such things are rampant because it may not be happening in our niche circle.
This 200 page odd book is a reminder that from the purview of the outside society, we have tended to display a modern behavior, getting basic education for our daughters, asking her to become financially independent and stable but little do we do to train our sons to adapt to the change as well. We are trying to produce a generation of super women who are high performers at work and adept at household chores, while ensuring they have an active hobby as well. This book is a reminder that in the garb of Feminism and Modern India, women have several rights on paper but no or little support to exercise them. “We tend to wear short skirts to a club, but prefer to cover up when traveling alone or using public transport. We think twice before accepting a job that involves a night shift. We are constantly reminded to be on the phone with a friend or a family member if in a cab alone in the evening”
The author talks about bleak truths, the effectiveness of right to education and the number of girl dropouts from school to support mother in the field or household chores, suicide & dowry related deaths due to marriage, female foeticide, the limited role of fathers in the household. Did you know, around 21 women die everyday in India owing to dowry related harassment. They are either murdered or compelled to kill themselves. The chapters Why women stay in bad marriages and why women are missing from public spaces are nothing less than an eye opener for both men and women. The author narrates true accounts of women where inequality is embraced in the garb of gender roles, explores government's role in the implementation of Right to Education, Beti Bachao Beti Padhao Scheme, the concept of Pradhan Pati, and exemplifies women’s role in social causes and many more practices about which we may or may not be aware of.
This book brings to the forefront many issues which we do not discuss in the society or at home since it may be considered too rebellious. The feminist movement has left behind several middle class women whose struggles are invisible women, whose needs and plight should be addressed.The author concludes with a ray of hope stating things are changing for the good. Women are trying to come out of bad marriages, sons are being raised as compassionate and girls are being raised as passionate and independent.
Still there is a long way to go before the society moves out of its patriarchal nature if it could ever happen. A simple writing style makes this book easy to read, it takes some time to grasp the hard hitting numbers and anecdotes and plethora of topics covered. A must read for all men and women but with an OPEN MIND and ability to digest the truth.
books-of-2023
May 29, 2023"I thought my mother had it all. It was a lie. She made me believe that the world would be a fairer, more equal place for women when I grew up—she told me that I could have it all. That was a lie, too."
The treatment of women in society and in their homes worldwide has reached beyond the pandemic crises. Nilajana Bhowmik decides to go deeper into this essential but overlooked pattern of women's silent suffering and presents it before society.
There is an entire generation of chronically ill women because they were raised with traditional gender roles while being empowered to be independent and build their careers. With the changing time, the pressure of going outside the home and earning( by choice or by circumstances) has increased in addition to performing household duties.
The primary issue, as Nilanjana Bhowmick elaborates in her book, lies in the data "Indian women are among the most overworked in the world…survey found that women spent 299 minutes per day on housework and 139 minutes on caregiving duties per day", possibly while having full-time job responsibilities otherwise. the book overflowing with alarming statistics that throw light on the condition of the middle-class Indian woman. Women who nonetheless continue to suffer and face the heavy burden of the 'superwoman' complex and yet encouraged to carry on.
Gender inequality is prevalent and has been encouraged by both men and women, especially in Asian culture.
Bhowmik also highlights in the book how the caste and lower economic background further deepen gender inequality and injustice. Hired to ease the burden of privileged women so that the latter can continue with their paid work or enjoy their free time. This system tends to be exploitive because of various factors like unequal power dynamics, the pay gap, and being an unorganised category job.
Miss Bhowmicks's book discusses the issues that have been brushed under the carpet forever and never been addressed. It is a powerful book with no dearth of powerful conversations from the people who look the most ordinary. It also emphasises the need for society to end the toxic and prejudiced behaviour that has been normalised for ages by both genders, creating a vicious circle that needs to be broken once slowly but gradually for future generations so that we as mothers do not pass on the lies of a better world and opportunities to our daughters.
A must-read.
"Gender equality is a human fight and not a gender fight."
The treatment of women in society and in their homes worldwide has reached beyond the pandemic crises. Nilajana Bhowmik decides to go deeper into this essential but overlooked pattern of women's silent suffering and presents it before society.
There is an entire generation of chronically ill women because they were raised with traditional gender roles while being empowered to be independent and build their careers. With the changing time, the pressure of going outside the home and earning( by choice or by circumstances) has increased in addition to performing household duties.
The primary issue, as Nilanjana Bhowmick elaborates in her book, lies in the data "Indian women are among the most overworked in the world…survey found that women spent 299 minutes per day on housework and 139 minutes on caregiving duties per day", possibly while having full-time job responsibilities otherwise. the book overflowing with alarming statistics that throw light on the condition of the middle-class Indian woman. Women who nonetheless continue to suffer and face the heavy burden of the 'superwoman' complex and yet encouraged to carry on.
Gender inequality is prevalent and has been encouraged by both men and women, especially in Asian culture.
Bhowmik also highlights in the book how the caste and lower economic background further deepen gender inequality and injustice. Hired to ease the burden of privileged women so that the latter can continue with their paid work or enjoy their free time. This system tends to be exploitive because of various factors like unequal power dynamics, the pay gap, and being an unorganised category job.
Miss Bhowmicks's book discusses the issues that have been brushed under the carpet forever and never been addressed. It is a powerful book with no dearth of powerful conversations from the people who look the most ordinary. It also emphasises the need for society to end the toxic and prejudiced behaviour that has been normalised for ages by both genders, creating a vicious circle that needs to be broken once slowly but gradually for future generations so that we as mothers do not pass on the lies of a better world and opportunities to our daughters.
A must-read.
"Gender equality is a human fight and not a gender fight."
June 16, 2023
This book took me on an emotional and eye-opening journey through the lives of women in contemporary India. With her keen journalistic eye and empathetic storytelling, author delves deep into the complexities of family, societal expectations, and the pervasive influence of patriarchy.
The book offers a collection of powerful and poignant narratives, woven together to highlight the diverse experiences of Indian women across different generations and backgrounds. Her extensive research and interviews with a range of women allow her to present a multifaceted view of their struggles and triumphs. Through their stories, she exposes the hidden layers of cultural conditioning and societal norms that perpetuate inequality and limit women's agency.
One of the book's greatest strengths is author's ability to tackle difficult and sensitive topics with sensitivity and nuance. She explores issues such as gender-based violence, the caste system, and the pressures of conforming to traditional roles, providing a well-rounded perspective that encourages empathy and understanding. Her prose is elegant yet accessible, making the book a compelling and engrossing read.
Furthermore, this goes beyond merely documenting the challenges faced by Indian women. It also offers glimmers of hope and resilience, showcasing the ways in which women are breaking free from societal constraints and forging their own paths. Her storytelling is infused with empathy and a deep respect for the women whose lives she portrays, allowing readers to connect emotionally with their struggles and aspirations.
If there is one minor drawback to the book, it is that certain sections could have been further expanded to provide a more comprehensive understanding of the issues at hand. However, this does not detract significantly from the overall impact of the book. And yes, the book is about specific problems.
This is a powerful and thought-provoking exploration of womanhood in contemporary India. It shines a much-needed light on the complex realities faced by Indian women, challenging readers to confront their own biases and preconceptions. Her engaging storytelling and her dedication to giving voice to marginalized experiences make this book an essential read for anyone interested in understanding the complexities of gender and society. In the end, this is just my understanding.
The book offers a collection of powerful and poignant narratives, woven together to highlight the diverse experiences of Indian women across different generations and backgrounds. Her extensive research and interviews with a range of women allow her to present a multifaceted view of their struggles and triumphs. Through their stories, she exposes the hidden layers of cultural conditioning and societal norms that perpetuate inequality and limit women's agency.
One of the book's greatest strengths is author's ability to tackle difficult and sensitive topics with sensitivity and nuance. She explores issues such as gender-based violence, the caste system, and the pressures of conforming to traditional roles, providing a well-rounded perspective that encourages empathy and understanding. Her prose is elegant yet accessible, making the book a compelling and engrossing read.
Furthermore, this goes beyond merely documenting the challenges faced by Indian women. It also offers glimmers of hope and resilience, showcasing the ways in which women are breaking free from societal constraints and forging their own paths. Her storytelling is infused with empathy and a deep respect for the women whose lives she portrays, allowing readers to connect emotionally with their struggles and aspirations.
If there is one minor drawback to the book, it is that certain sections could have been further expanded to provide a more comprehensive understanding of the issues at hand. However, this does not detract significantly from the overall impact of the book. And yes, the book is about specific problems.
This is a powerful and thought-provoking exploration of womanhood in contemporary India. It shines a much-needed light on the complex realities faced by Indian women, challenging readers to confront their own biases and preconceptions. Her engaging storytelling and her dedication to giving voice to marginalized experiences make this book an essential read for anyone interested in understanding the complexities of gender and society. In the end, this is just my understanding.
July 27, 2022
👉𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊:-
📚ⓉⒾⓉⓁⒺ:- Lies Our Mothers Told Us
🖋️ⒶⓊⓉⒽⓄⓇ:- Nilanjana Bhowmick
🗞️ⓅⓊⒷⓁⒾⓈⒽⒺⓇ:- Aleph Books Publication
🔤ⓁⒶⓃⒼⓊⒶⒼⒺ:- English
📖ⒻⓄⓇⓂⒶⓉ:- Hardcover
👉𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒:-
If we think about superheros the first thing comes to our mind is movies but do we ever think about the real life superhero who is always pondering around us working selflessly without any complaints she is our MOTHER.
.
It is rightly said, "भगवान हर जगह नहीं पहुंच सकता इसीलिए उसने मां बना दी"
.
This book is just a mirror to everyone to make everyone feel how tough is a woman's life!! Starting from the first hour of the day till the last knock on the clock mothers are putting all their efforts to keep everyone happy by fulfilling their wishes & within this somehow her own wishes are compermised but she never think about it.
.
According to statistics Indian Women spend on avg 299 min on housework & 134 min on caregiving per day with 82% of domestic duties doing by their own.
.
Putting so much efforts women are still struggling for their reputation, respect & dignity. They are often harrased in workshops never get the value they deserve in family. This is a thing which is still unchanged in 21st century.
.
The book compiled 20 such chapters putting forward the real life issues of Indian women which never be emphasized.
.
To know more about it grab the book & give it a try.
👉𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 :-
🙂 Cover of the book is just aesthetic. It is white themed but perfectly designed that just draw your attentions in one go.
🙂 Writing style of the book good. Here author nicely comprised the real life struggle of today's women for their identity & value
🙂 Language used in the book is simple & easily understandable.
🙂 It's a high on emotion book which makes you feel sad feel guilty after some pages but it's along side gives a ample reading experience.
🙂 This book is not just a book for but a reality check that never happened with us giving importance to the women of our family.
🙂 Reference makes the book more informative along with Index.
🙂 Book is slowly paced. But the essence of the book is nicely maintained till the last page.
𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑:-🌟🌟🌟🌟✨
📚ⓉⒾⓉⓁⒺ:- Lies Our Mothers Told Us
🖋️ⒶⓊⓉⒽⓄⓇ:- Nilanjana Bhowmick
🗞️ⓅⓊⒷⓁⒾⓈⒽⒺⓇ:- Aleph Books Publication
🔤ⓁⒶⓃⒼⓊⒶⒼⒺ:- English
📖ⒻⓄⓇⓂⒶⓉ:- Hardcover
👉𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒:-
If we think about superheros the first thing comes to our mind is movies but do we ever think about the real life superhero who is always pondering around us working selflessly without any complaints she is our MOTHER.
.
It is rightly said, "भगवान हर जगह नहीं पहुंच सकता इसीलिए उसने मां बना दी"
.
This book is just a mirror to everyone to make everyone feel how tough is a woman's life!! Starting from the first hour of the day till the last knock on the clock mothers are putting all their efforts to keep everyone happy by fulfilling their wishes & within this somehow her own wishes are compermised but she never think about it.
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According to statistics Indian Women spend on avg 299 min on housework & 134 min on caregiving per day with 82% of domestic duties doing by their own.
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Putting so much efforts women are still struggling for their reputation, respect & dignity. They are often harrased in workshops never get the value they deserve in family. This is a thing which is still unchanged in 21st century.
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The book compiled 20 such chapters putting forward the real life issues of Indian women which never be emphasized.
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To know more about it grab the book & give it a try.
👉𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 :-
🙂 Cover of the book is just aesthetic. It is white themed but perfectly designed that just draw your attentions in one go.
🙂 Writing style of the book good. Here author nicely comprised the real life struggle of today's women for their identity & value
🙂 Language used in the book is simple & easily understandable.
🙂 It's a high on emotion book which makes you feel sad feel guilty after some pages but it's along side gives a ample reading experience.
🙂 This book is not just a book for but a reality check that never happened with us giving importance to the women of our family.
🙂 Reference makes the book more informative along with Index.
🙂 Book is slowly paced. But the essence of the book is nicely maintained till the last page.
𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑:-🌟🌟🌟🌟✨
August 9, 2022
Women in India have a complicated life because of paradoxical statements in ancient India. An Indian woman faces violation, abuse, and discrimination and is worshipped as Devi. Since the medieval ages, women have been subjected to low rights and punishment. It is a myth that women held critical positions in ancient Indian society. Going back into history, it is a tinted-glass theory that women were mighty.
This book by Nilanjana is an actual account of women and their burdened position in the populated place, where inequality is automatically embraced and endured by them. Although many women in the past have brought parity in their lives, on the other side, especially from the middle class, they are now vocal and still fighting for their rights. This attitude is of late showcased for the regression faced, which also results in empowerment. Less pay, constant objectification, offensive attacks from fellow people, discredit their decision-making skills, and such are fatal to Indian Women’s mental and physical health.
It is essential for all those writers and authors, especially the female, to bring out such literature that has factual and authentic information on Indian women and their life, quoting that her life has not changed in generations! It is the same as it was centuries ago! The economic independence of a middle-class woman is never considered seriously. Even today working woman’s salary is viewed as a bonus but not the actual salary. Factors like this, where a woman is ignored and her voice is unheard, result in emotional outbursts. There will be no woman who doesn’t want her role to be exchanged for that of a man.
The book is written in the first person and in easy language with powerful narration and actual stats. Each of the 272 pages present in the book is as precious as a woman’s freedom. It is high time that women have to depend or wait for a nod. Not everyone, but this woman also knows her mettle, believes in her decisions, shows anger when needed, gives love to the deserved, and never underestimates herself. Books like this are thought-provoking and mind-feeding.
Don’t miss this book!
This book by Nilanjana is an actual account of women and their burdened position in the populated place, where inequality is automatically embraced and endured by them. Although many women in the past have brought parity in their lives, on the other side, especially from the middle class, they are now vocal and still fighting for their rights. This attitude is of late showcased for the regression faced, which also results in empowerment. Less pay, constant objectification, offensive attacks from fellow people, discredit their decision-making skills, and such are fatal to Indian Women’s mental and physical health.
It is essential for all those writers and authors, especially the female, to bring out such literature that has factual and authentic information on Indian women and their life, quoting that her life has not changed in generations! It is the same as it was centuries ago! The economic independence of a middle-class woman is never considered seriously. Even today working woman’s salary is viewed as a bonus but not the actual salary. Factors like this, where a woman is ignored and her voice is unheard, result in emotional outbursts. There will be no woman who doesn’t want her role to be exchanged for that of a man.
The book is written in the first person and in easy language with powerful narration and actual stats. Each of the 272 pages present in the book is as precious as a woman’s freedom. It is high time that women have to depend or wait for a nod. Not everyone, but this woman also knows her mettle, believes in her decisions, shows anger when needed, gives love to the deserved, and never underestimates herself. Books like this are thought-provoking and mind-feeding.
Don’t miss this book!
July 26, 2022
Gender inequality was ever-prevalent, but recently much more openly observed, critiqued and analysed. The gender gap emerges boldly across geographies, spreads its limbs over communities and stems from diversity in psychologies. Accurately talked about, the disparity in gender roles has now ripened to an alarming extent.
Nilanjana Bhowmick uses her prowess as a journalist to carve out impressions of gender gaps from areas we all commonly know about, but which trickle down to the lowest layer of discussion. Her approach carefully branches in and out of facts and fiction, with some aspects being expertly converted to timeless stories and some aspects taking their places as cruel statistics.
She cultivates her essays on the top of indirectly cited research, opinions, interviews and personal observations. In such a way, Bhowmick’s essays therefore emphasize on familiarising the readers about the massiveness of the gender gap, how deeply it percolates within private and social lives and how it has been carried along for centuries without much notice.
When seen critically, the essays in this collection do suffer from inconsistency, with repetition and sparseness—both appearing periodically in the contents. Some essays have incoherence seeped within them, and they have generality and universality at conflict with the precision of the subject matter. There was a scarcity of concreteness in certain arguments, with some being so expansive that no solution comes about. For a well-informed reader, the book situates far away from current trends in gender studies research, where the author takes a more flattened report-oriented turn in her writing, rather than taking on a series of un-traditional approaches backed by out-of-the-box newness.
Thanks to Aleph Book Company for the copy.
Nilanjana Bhowmick uses her prowess as a journalist to carve out impressions of gender gaps from areas we all commonly know about, but which trickle down to the lowest layer of discussion. Her approach carefully branches in and out of facts and fiction, with some aspects being expertly converted to timeless stories and some aspects taking their places as cruel statistics.
She cultivates her essays on the top of indirectly cited research, opinions, interviews and personal observations. In such a way, Bhowmick’s essays therefore emphasize on familiarising the readers about the massiveness of the gender gap, how deeply it percolates within private and social lives and how it has been carried along for centuries without much notice.
When seen critically, the essays in this collection do suffer from inconsistency, with repetition and sparseness—both appearing periodically in the contents. Some essays have incoherence seeped within them, and they have generality and universality at conflict with the precision of the subject matter. There was a scarcity of concreteness in certain arguments, with some being so expansive that no solution comes about. For a well-informed reader, the book situates far away from current trends in gender studies research, where the author takes a more flattened report-oriented turn in her writing, rather than taking on a series of un-traditional approaches backed by out-of-the-box newness.
Thanks to Aleph Book Company for the copy.
July 27, 2022
🌟⭐⭐BOOK REVIEW 🌟⭐⭐
💫 In our society what is the definition of a women ??
A selfless person who eagerly takes the load of her entire family, ensures their happiness and contentment. In return she doesn't expect anything. A super soul who pushes herself beyond boundaries to meet the deadlines.
💫 Lies Our Mother's Told Us is a journal by Nilanjana Bhowmick. It outlines the patriarchy of our society and express the burdens of the Indian women. Statistics show that the Indian women are the most overworked in the world.
💫 This book has been written for women empowerment. To show the real picture of our society, how middle class women are oppressed in their homes and face inequalities at work place.
💫 The author took the great initiative to bring out the bitter truth of our society. We are always updated about the improved condition of women over the century. But gender inequality still persists.
💫 The author gives a snapshot of her mother's story through this book. How she has been encouraged by her in laws to work by often backlashed by her husband to give it up. The book is divided into twenty chapters. The title of each chapter is striking and speak volumes about the content.
💫 The language used was smooth and flawless which made me easily glide through the book. It's a great book empowering women. One can't afford to miss it. We need to recognize the patriarchy within our house and deal with it accordingly.
💫 In our society what is the definition of a women ??
A selfless person who eagerly takes the load of her entire family, ensures their happiness and contentment. In return she doesn't expect anything. A super soul who pushes herself beyond boundaries to meet the deadlines.
💫 Lies Our Mother's Told Us is a journal by Nilanjana Bhowmick. It outlines the patriarchy of our society and express the burdens of the Indian women. Statistics show that the Indian women are the most overworked in the world.
💫 This book has been written for women empowerment. To show the real picture of our society, how middle class women are oppressed in their homes and face inequalities at work place.
💫 The author took the great initiative to bring out the bitter truth of our society. We are always updated about the improved condition of women over the century. But gender inequality still persists.
💫 The author gives a snapshot of her mother's story through this book. How she has been encouraged by her in laws to work by often backlashed by her husband to give it up. The book is divided into twenty chapters. The title of each chapter is striking and speak volumes about the content.
💫 The language used was smooth and flawless which made me easily glide through the book. It's a great book empowering women. One can't afford to miss it. We need to recognize the patriarchy within our house and deal with it accordingly.
September 13, 2022
Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size”.
The 272 pages long book speaks largely about itself as the burdened population of Indian women reflect upon the prevailing inequality endured by them throughout the inception of the 19th Century.
Despite, the presence of many historical figures who brought parity in the lives of Indian women in all aspects, a faction of the Indian female population has begun to see a unique form of its regression and that is the Indian Middle class as the empowerment quotient tends to threaten their mental and physical health as well and this largely tends to be the whole of the book.
Delving further, the chapters of the book present the underlying theme in a very streamlined manner in the form of Statistics and factual presentation which adds to the thought-invoking nature of the book.
The writing style of the book has been kept simple and poignant as there has been no use of any form of verbosity and a smooth flow is maintained for the readers.
On the whole, the stated aspects make this book a must-read for anyone willing to go for an eye-opening read.
The 272 pages long book speaks largely about itself as the burdened population of Indian women reflect upon the prevailing inequality endured by them throughout the inception of the 19th Century.
Despite, the presence of many historical figures who brought parity in the lives of Indian women in all aspects, a faction of the Indian female population has begun to see a unique form of its regression and that is the Indian Middle class as the empowerment quotient tends to threaten their mental and physical health as well and this largely tends to be the whole of the book.
Delving further, the chapters of the book present the underlying theme in a very streamlined manner in the form of Statistics and factual presentation which adds to the thought-invoking nature of the book.
The writing style of the book has been kept simple and poignant as there has been no use of any form of verbosity and a smooth flow is maintained for the readers.
On the whole, the stated aspects make this book a must-read for anyone willing to go for an eye-opening read.
August 15, 2022
You need women when you know the fight is going to be long and hard. That is the specialty of a women-led movement - they are indomitable,indefatigable. - Medha Patkar.
This is an actual account of women and their burdened position which they are enduring from birth.
This book makes you stand out with questions from around the world. I can say with confidence that you will not get 9 out of 10 answers. What is happening in the house with women or girls, what is happening outside the house?Are we giving them equal rights, do we have the right to ask for even a glass of water? Due to child care,caregiving and housework most of the women sucked in vortex de-facto it drags them into obscure. Few of women Wouldn’t dream of asking her husband to share her chores.
Is the government implementing the Beti Bachao Beti Padhao scheme properly? Is the Sukanya scheme running properly? Did women benefit from Jan Dhan Yojana? Or only women are sometimes used from home to outside by speaking Lakshmi or they are used by opening the organization in her name?
All questions will be answered in this book with data and events.Start this book and get enlightening experience.
Read it….
This is an actual account of women and their burdened position which they are enduring from birth.
This book makes you stand out with questions from around the world. I can say with confidence that you will not get 9 out of 10 answers. What is happening in the house with women or girls, what is happening outside the house?Are we giving them equal rights, do we have the right to ask for even a glass of water? Due to child care,caregiving and housework most of the women sucked in vortex de-facto it drags them into obscure. Few of women Wouldn’t dream of asking her husband to share her chores.
Is the government implementing the Beti Bachao Beti Padhao scheme properly? Is the Sukanya scheme running properly? Did women benefit from Jan Dhan Yojana? Or only women are sometimes used from home to outside by speaking Lakshmi or they are used by opening the organization in her name?
All questions will be answered in this book with data and events.Start this book and get enlightening experience.
Read it….
February 5, 2024
Actually I didn’t know how to rate this book. But I read through the painstaking research and figures nevertheless. But research on one side I found the tone of the book too bitter and resentful! It gives only the negatives and not the progress we are making gradually and surely. There were no success stories only despair struggles and rejections. Sad but not fully true - the middle class is progressing slowly but surely no doubt, even those barely above poverty are today treating their daughters as never before - there are innumerable examples around me as there are around all other classes!! The author needed to put her personal bitterness and mind state aside and presented of the other side of the coin too
February 7, 2024
A hard hitting book bringing out the condition of the women in India, facing a patriarchal society and daily challenge of living as the weaker gender.
The author leads from the front by sharing her own family history of suicide of grandmother, ill treatment of her mother by her father and her own suicide attempt.
She has interviewed a lot of women, travelled to various parts of the country and spoken to professionals over years before writing this book.
My only concern is that the book is hundred percent negative. There are lots of things done for women in recent years. We have women president, speaker, governors, generals, judges, pilots. This change should have been part of the research too.
The author leads from the front by sharing her own family history of suicide of grandmother, ill treatment of her mother by her father and her own suicide attempt.
She has interviewed a lot of women, travelled to various parts of the country and spoken to professionals over years before writing this book.
My only concern is that the book is hundred percent negative. There are lots of things done for women in recent years. We have women president, speaker, governors, generals, judges, pilots. This change should have been part of the research too.
November 15, 2025
It's a book for everyone, especially men who believe that women's rights have come a long way.
It's very well researched and corroborates data with anecdotes and points out a lot that most people would already know, while some of the entrenched patriarchy that most don't notice.
In spite of having help and not having children and not having societal/family pressures and both of us working on the same enterprise, I could notice more all the unpaid work that was done by my wife because of "accountability" rather than "passion".
It makes me want to do more to be an equal partner in the responsibilities. I'm guessing that's what the book solves for. By at least bringing these issues to light.
It's very well researched and corroborates data with anecdotes and points out a lot that most people would already know, while some of the entrenched patriarchy that most don't notice.
In spite of having help and not having children and not having societal/family pressures and both of us working on the same enterprise, I could notice more all the unpaid work that was done by my wife because of "accountability" rather than "passion".
It makes me want to do more to be an equal partner in the responsibilities. I'm guessing that's what the book solves for. By at least bringing these issues to light.
September 22, 2022
Reading this book was like getting the taste of my own wrongdoing in some way. As an Indian woman, if I have chosen to return to work after having a child, I have invited trouble because my home demands complete attention and so does my work. While the people around me believe that when I return from work my 'working hours' are over, they are reluctant to acknowledge that upon returning home, I do a double shift of managing my child and my home. But who cares to call household work or childcare 'work'? Isn't work supposed to be a job that gets you money?
Read the complete review here: https://www.aliveshadow.com/category-...
Read the complete review here: https://www.aliveshadow.com/category-...
December 7, 2022
Honestly, I love reading feminist books, hence I picked this book up. While I really liked the writing, after a while it seemed that the author wanted to keep harping on only one point - women in middle class are over worked. Unfortunate but true. Solves ?
The stats presented are truly scary in India and it is so so difficult to get out of the rut for the woman. I am glad that someone is speaking about harsh realities of Indian women.
However, personally I feel the book could have been a little more conscience although the points covered were great.
The stats presented are truly scary in India and it is so so difficult to get out of the rut for the woman. I am glad that someone is speaking about harsh realities of Indian women.
However, personally I feel the book could have been a little more conscience although the points covered were great.
November 28, 2022
A very powerful book, must read
Every Indian female, irrespective of age, has faced these biases. Reading the book has made me stop and think.
I liked how the author has highlighted middle class biases.
A must read for all, for men to understand how painful a woman's life journey is in this country and for females to speak up and know that they aren't alone in this.
Every Indian female, irrespective of age, has faced these biases. Reading the book has made me stop and think.
I liked how the author has highlighted middle class biases.
A must read for all, for men to understand how painful a woman's life journey is in this country and for females to speak up and know that they aren't alone in this.
December 16, 2022
Every Indian should read this book. There are many things we subconsciously know are happening but we never put these in perspective. This book does exactly that; puts things in perspective.
While as a narrative it could be stronger with more stories and less statistics, at least someone is writing on this topic. So, one extra star for the topic.
While as a narrative it could be stronger with more stories and less statistics, at least someone is writing on this topic. So, one extra star for the topic.
August 15, 2022
This book doesn't just talk about the lies our mothers told us it has more to it. It has data points and some heart wrenching truth about how women needs/expected to do it all and have it all, yet are treated like second class gender.
January 13, 2023
I like that the author, even when talking about some major cultural and social situations and problems, does not shy away from blatently calling out the issues she sees in her own family.
It was good to find an honest voice.
It was good to find an honest voice.
July 19, 2023
Serious as the name suggests. Lots of case histories. Many topics tackled. New insights into old problems.
September 25, 2024
This is my new favourite non-fiction book without a doubt. Recommend everyone to read it, especially men.
October 17, 2024
This is the book I made my dad read to help him understand the lives of Indian women. Needless to say, turned him into a feminist with this hehe
July 28, 2023
Thanks Subhankar Roy for gifting me a copy!
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