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The Portable Curmudgeon
More than 1,000 outrageously irreverent quotations, anecdotes, and interviews on a vast array of subjects, from an illustrious list of world class grouches.
“If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”—Alice Roosevelt Longworth
“If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”—Alice Roosevelt Longworth
320 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1987
64 people are currently reading
363 people want to read
About the author
Jon Winokur
35 books18 followersJon Winokur (b. Aug. 5, 1947) is an American writer and editor. Born in Detroit, the son of Martin M. and Elinor Winokur, he attended Temple University (BA, 1970) and the University of West Los Angeles (JD, 1980). He lives in Los Angeles.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
October 3, 2018
You caught me...I love sarcasm!
A girl once told me that sarcasm is the final spasms of a rotten mind.
Think about it for a moment...
Were it not for the rotten mind who came up with that clever little saying, she would have no way of trying to insult sarcasm - in a funny way, I mean.
If you think about it too long, it may push you to the edge of sanity, I tell you!
Yes, sarcasm can be used for evil as much as for good, like a gun or a high heel shoe, but there is some kind of beauty in lateral thinking.
And that is why, as a person who can be sarcastic at times, I have taught myself to usually say the second thing I was thinking.
This book is about some of the most famous curmudgeons whose dry and sarcastic sayings will live forever in all forms of media. Shaw, Wilde, Marx, Bierce, etc.
I would genuinely love to see a book in this vein of the funniest things said in television and movies - giving credit to the writers as well as the actors.
** As an afterthought - if you like some sayings, try to work them into your conversations some time, it can be a lot of fun. I was in a bar with a girl one time, and while we were chatting a drunk guy - who was obviously much bigger than me - joined our conversation uninvited. Since I was not going to make a scene (of course I wasn't going to fight that bear, I WASN'T the drunk one), I answered his question of what we did for a living with a Monty Python quote:
"I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."
While the girl giggled hysterically, it took him a few moments of absolute silence to admit that he had no idea what I had just said.
Loved everything about this little book!
A girl once told me that sarcasm is the final spasms of a rotten mind.
Think about it for a moment...
Were it not for the rotten mind who came up with that clever little saying, she would have no way of trying to insult sarcasm - in a funny way, I mean.
If you think about it too long, it may push you to the edge of sanity, I tell you!
Yes, sarcasm can be used for evil as much as for good, like a gun or a high heel shoe, but there is some kind of beauty in lateral thinking.
And that is why, as a person who can be sarcastic at times, I have taught myself to usually say the second thing I was thinking.
This book is about some of the most famous curmudgeons whose dry and sarcastic sayings will live forever in all forms of media. Shaw, Wilde, Marx, Bierce, etc.
I would genuinely love to see a book in this vein of the funniest things said in television and movies - giving credit to the writers as well as the actors.
** As an afterthought - if you like some sayings, try to work them into your conversations some time, it can be a lot of fun. I was in a bar with a girl one time, and while we were chatting a drunk guy - who was obviously much bigger than me - joined our conversation uninvited. Since I was not going to make a scene (of course I wasn't going to fight that bear, I WASN'T the drunk one), I answered his question of what we did for a living with a Monty Python quote:
"I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."
While the girl giggled hysterically, it took him a few moments of absolute silence to admit that he had no idea what I had just said.
Loved everything about this little book!
May 17, 2015
A book of quotations by curmudgeons on a variety of topics. Some sparkle with brilliance, some with humor. A few are malicious, even nasty. Many are keepers worthy of your notebooks.
This book resembles Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil’s Dictionary” but is derived from a variety of authors, not just one. They range from Voltaire and Oscar Wilde to Woody Allen and Johnny Carson. From Ben Jonson to Al Capp, arranged alphabetically by subject matter.
Included are interesting short bios of prominent world-class curmudgeons. They were a neurotic bunch, but brazenly outspoken. Their zany antics are amusing to read about.
It is not necessary to hate mankind to enjoy this book, but it would help. There is something here to please everyone except Pollyannas, to whom it is not recommended. But if you are in a sour mood or lean toward the cynical or pessimistic, you can’t go wrong with this one.
This book resembles Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil’s Dictionary” but is derived from a variety of authors, not just one. They range from Voltaire and Oscar Wilde to Woody Allen and Johnny Carson. From Ben Jonson to Al Capp, arranged alphabetically by subject matter.
Included are interesting short bios of prominent world-class curmudgeons. They were a neurotic bunch, but brazenly outspoken. Their zany antics are amusing to read about.
It is not necessary to hate mankind to enjoy this book, but it would help. There is something here to please everyone except Pollyannas, to whom it is not recommended. But if you are in a sour mood or lean toward the cynical or pessimistic, you can’t go wrong with this one.
January 12, 2013
A Goodreads.com friend put this book on her list of "to read" books and I immediately was filled with such wonderful memories that I had to launch a whole-house search of the bookshelves to find my copy. Ah, it's just as wonderful as I remembered. Since I returned to work this week from the Christmas/New Year's holidays, I took my copy to work and displayed it proudly on my desk. When a coworker/supervisor/student/etc. made my blood pressure want to rise a point or two, I took a deep breath, opened the book, and treated myself to a couple/many pages of wonderful character sketches and fabulous quotes. How did I ignore this book for so many years after loving it the first three times that I read it? Oh, Dorothy Parker, we would have been such good friends.
January 17, 2008
I've had this book for many years, and all my favorite quotes are checked or dogeared. All the greats are here -- Dorothy Parker, WC Fields, George F. Kaufman. It focuses primarily on American and British curmudgeons of the past century and a half.
As self-appointed president of the Royal Society for the Advancement of Curmudgeons, this book has earned my stamp of... hmmmm... dare I say approval.
Yes, dammit, I'll say just what I please.
As self-appointed president of the Royal Society for the Advancement of Curmudgeons, this book has earned my stamp of... hmmmm... dare I say approval.
Yes, dammit, I'll say just what I please.
July 21, 2014
A book which would be dear to my heart, if I hadn't misplaced it.
December 15, 2008
Yes. Inspired the book report project and also Joel and I to work towards becoming curmudgeons. This includes commiting pranks and being witty and caring about word play. We added our names to the authors list of world class curmudgeons and then I pranked Kate by putting a small dog in her coat pocket for her to find later. Fun. I learned about the bets prank ever nad told it to Rick.
This book was a book of quotes and biographies of old whips. I learned about the Algonquin Circle which existed in NYC in the 1920s to 30s where the curmudgeons could not even say "pass the salt" without someone making a pun of it, or someone trying to one up it.
My other favorite quotes were Dorthy Parker when asked why she hadn't gone to a play she said she was too fucking busy and vice versa.
Calvin Trillin had a quote in a conversation about Christmas. He said something to the effect that after he learned to become happy he ceased needing festivity. So he thought it was a universal law that happy people do not need festivity.
Hooray
This book was a book of quotes and biographies of old whips. I learned about the Algonquin Circle which existed in NYC in the 1920s to 30s where the curmudgeons could not even say "pass the salt" without someone making a pun of it, or someone trying to one up it.
My other favorite quotes were Dorthy Parker when asked why she hadn't gone to a play she said she was too fucking busy and vice versa.
Calvin Trillin had a quote in a conversation about Christmas. He said something to the effect that after he learned to become happy he ceased needing festivity. So he thought it was a universal law that happy people do not need festivity.
Hooray
February 26, 2017
Like Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary," this is an aphoristic collection of jaded, barbed, or unsentimental observations on everything from fame, fortune, and success to love, marriage and, of course, sex by the likes of H.L. Mencken, GB Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Oscar Levant, Groucho Marx, Ambrose Bierce, Voltaire, Nietzsche, Santayana, Bertrand Russell, and dozens more writers, philosophers, and wits, Winokur's book makes for enjoyable reading as one seeks a raft of sanity amid the flotsam and jetsam of these turbulent times. Best enjoyed one at a time, like a single chocolate from your box of Godiva. I only wish I could memorize a stack of these pompous and sentimental-busting bombs to drop at the appropriate time.
November 13, 2019
This 300-page collection of cynical quotations, arranged alphabetically by theme ("Actors," "Death," etc.) and interspersed with short biographical essays on famous curmudgeons (like Groucho Marx), functioned as my Bible in college, when I believed that a sour disposition denoted intelligence and integrity. I like to think I've outgrown that particular affectation, but I still credit Winokur's book with introducing me to several classic dark humorists, like H.L. Mencken and Dorothy Parker, whose acquaintance I might not otherwise have made.
January 17, 2008
More take aways and bang for the buck than any other book I've read. Devastating to just about everything yet, somehow uplifting too. Like this from Mencken: "We must respect the other fellow's religion. But only in the sense and to the extent we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart." Right?!
August 18, 2011
Very, very funny. But also very negative. Curmudgeon doesn't even begin to characterize some of the acidic, but true, comments that famous people have made about ideas, places and other famous people. Woah. But with that said, this little book does have some content that borders on the brilliantly-fashioned.
October 9, 2013
It's hard to find a book that will make you feel at home. The Portable Curmudgeon speaks for and with a particular audience and that was made clear from cover to cover. A warning though, if you are not the type who can be confused as a curmudgeon, stay away from this book. The humor is a hit or miss. Fortunately, it's a hit for me.
September 2, 2012
As a Curmudgeon, this man is reading my mind. Sometimes I kicked my heels with joy when he was right on. He has raised curmudgeonlyness into respectability. I hope all of the readers can see his humor and that of those curmudgeons he quotes. This is a good read.
March 14, 2016
It's a quote book with really fun and funny interviews with very prolific people reflecting on what really irks them. I hope to be a curmudgeon one. Something to aspire to. Definitely a 'bathroom' read, but I enjoyed reading it from cover to cover.
November 30, 2016
A collection of often biting quotations. Interspersed are mini-bios/interviews with several individuals noted for their sometimes caustic remarks. It is a fun read because you can put it down at anytime and not worry about losing your place.
August 14, 2007
one of my favorite books.
August 28, 2008
This is a great book for easily finding the best parts of some of the greatest books in the world. It is a great starting off point to finding books and authors you haven't read.
September 22, 2008
This is a great book of quotes from some notable curmudgeons.
June 26, 2009
Nothing like a pithy quote when you're out of sorts with other people.
July 14, 2014
A collection of quotes by very witty, annoyed people. If you enjoy a good zinger, this is full of them. If you just dislike humanity sometimes, you'll probably want to keep this around, too.
September 30, 2010
This book has been a steady companion to me for many years. Given as a Christmas gift over 20 years ago, I have referred to it often and used many a quote from it.
May 20, 2012
Want a good laugh? This is the book.
February 10, 2015
A very high proportion of very good laughs.
July 17, 2015
Funny stuff and lots of it.
October 29, 2008
A collection of interviews, anecdotes and (mostly) quotes from famous curmudgeons from Groucho Marx, W.C. Fields, Dorothy Parker, Roy Blount and others. As with any collection like this, it's hit and miss and, because it was published in the 1980's, some of its references are dated now, but it's still entertaining and full of classic wit.
July 5, 2010
I picked it up at a used book sale for $1. For that price I had to have it since my dad is a self described irascible curmudgeon. I figured to read it then pass it on to him. There are brief bios on various curmudgeons as well as chapters full of curmudgeonly quotes. Amusing as a bathroom book or a beach book, which I think is all it really aspires to so it works at least that well.
January 10, 2016
Here's to celebrate misanthropy; a hugely entertaining companion to my supposedly-boring trip on going back to life after spending holiday in my hometown--talk about timing. Consists of remarks coming from those kind of people in today's internet whom you'd shout "get laid" or "have a picnic" to; annoying, frank, whiny, witty, funny, sass, smart, truly unapologetic.
April 5, 2018
This book is full of acidic, biting satiric wit from A to Z. That's a LOT of acid.
It's some kind of wicked fun, and sometimes just too much.
I did find it interesting and unsettling that a few of the best known curmudgeons were people with various serious psychological problems and a few ended their lives via suicide.
I have no follow-up line after that observation.
It's some kind of wicked fun, and sometimes just too much.
I did find it interesting and unsettling that a few of the best known curmudgeons were people with various serious psychological problems and a few ended their lives via suicide.
I have no follow-up line after that observation.
September 18, 2012
Funny stuff :)
January 7, 2015
Great book.
August 19, 2025
Interesting quotes and logic.
From Carol in Lake Forest. Lovely lady.
From Carol in Lake Forest. Lovely lady.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews