Life is one big disappointment.
I don’t know what it is with me & reading horror lately, but most of the horror novels I’ve been reading have been such disappointing reads. The premise usually gets me so hyped & then I read it & I’m more bored than anything else. Old Country was no exception.
The characters - flat
The writing style - bland
The story - went nowhere
Vibes - nowhere to be found
Logic - also nowhere to be found
Creepiness - eh try again
Let’s break this shit down in some more detail:
The characters in this book all fell so flat. I feel like I’ve read these same old bishes many times before. They added nothing new, forgettable in every way. We have Harry, a former marine with PTSD who also goes hunting now because that's what men do apparently yadi-yadi-ya (two things I’ll get to later in this review) - couldn't care less about him. But also, he taunts the spirit by saying shit like: I liVe HeRe NoW, tHiS Is **MY** LanD. Don’t make me barf please. This book is written by 2 straight white men & it shows … wHiTe mALe SuPremAcY my ass. Then we have Sasha, who's who exactly? Probably the most unmemorable character I've ever read, lowkey surprised I can even remember her name. The elderly couple neighbours who were alright, I guess. And Joe who ... existed ... at times when he felt like it. Yup that pretty much sums him up. And finally we have Dash was, no doubt, the best character of the book & he’s a fucking dog.
The writing style was really not it. If it weren't for names at the start of each chapter who's narrating it, I probably wouldn't be able to tell who's who. They pretty much have the same voice. Most things are described into unnecessary detail except for things that are actually important or could make the story creepy.
For example: I don't wanne read about how marine boy killed 5 people in his marine days. I genuinely don't care. I get that it's supposed to give him "character depth" or whatever but just no. Stop it. Get some help. It does nothing for me. My brain- no my entire soul just shuts down when reading about that shit, it bores me to death. Same with hunting, I just don't care. I only like to sleep at night please when I choose to go to bed, not when I'm reading. I can't think of anything else that bores me more. Okay, maybe car talk, yup car talk makes a close second or third. Thank god there wasn't any of that in it. I know these are pretty dumb things to whine about & are just totally subjective, but hey this is my review, I can whine about whatever the fuck I wanne whine about. - Okay, enough sidetracking for now, back to the example. - However when we get to potentially creepy parts (like with what would happen if you don't make a fire when the light appears in the pond) it just gets brushed of really quickly, like what? I was reading it & I was like "Aight this is getting to the good part- wait why is it over already, what?". How can one (or two in this case) let such potential go to waste. Give me a flashback or something, make me experience it, let something exciting happen. Don't let me wait until the very end for shit to go down. The build up wasn't worth it. At that point I just don't care anymore (at least not with these characters).
I don't expect to read a lyrical masterpiece, but distinguishable characters are like the bare minimum for me. This book originally started off as a short story on reddit & probably should have stayed that way. Thinking of it, it makes more sense the way the novel is build up. Waiting until the absolute end for the horror to actually take place. In a short story format I could see this work, but in a 300+ page novel, no- pass- thank u, next.
Besides all that, there were also some things that made no sense to me or things that they could have done/tried to stop (or at least mess) with the almighty season spirit. (Ugh I still can't over the fact they wasted such cool premise, anyways). I can't remember all of the things where I went like wait a minute- & quite frankly I don't wanne try to remember them either, I just wanne get done with this shit, but here are some things:
So there’s this one pond that the spirit chooses to let a light lit up. Why not fill it in? Drain it? Idk? You might say that “Oh that would only anger the spirit, you can’t mess with the spirit blablabla” Our home boy has done nothing else but mess with & anger the spirit. Yes it probably would have been futile & a waste of money since there are other ponds. Heck, the spirit might have started manifesting in other ways. But you wanne defeat the spirit? Might as well start somewhere.
Also whatever happened to Lucy after she left the valley? Did the spirit get to her? Did she live? The writers seem to have forgotten, because she’s never mentioned again. Unless they did & I just zoned out after reading more “I killed 5 people” boring backstory. In which case, I apologize, but not really since I really don’t care anymore about this book.
Near the end of the story, a ghost touches marine boy after the candles went out, resulting in breaking several of his ribs somehow. Okay I can accept that. However after it happens he doesn’t really see to get affected by that? He can move just fine, he never mentions he’s in pain. Afterwards there’s also nothing mentioned about his recovery? Did that not really happen maybe? Did I zone out again? I don’t care enough to double check. Also, why. Did. They. Only. LIGHT FIVE CANDLES??? You telling me you’re just gonna light five? Remind you if one of them goes out, a ghost can enter your house & harm you. Would it not be wiser to light some extra? Just to be safe? Especially after they mention that strong winds have already made for some close calls? Would that not have worked maybe? It’s at least worth trying right? But, la moment suprème is when our main girl Sasha here thinks she’s all big brain. After the candles went out, a ghost crushes her husband’s ribcage, she manages to relight them, but then. You ready for this? You sure? Okay, she has this GENIUS idea of … blowing them out again! Smart right! One singular ghost nearly killed your husband by just touching his chest, I’m sure letting all five get to him won’t do any harm. BISH WHAT?!? IS YOU STUPID? She tells her husband to *trust* her & that he just has to accept the ghosts. To acknowledge them, their hate, their anger … Accepting them will stop the spirit from whatever it is it’s doing … I’m sorry but I REFUSE to accept that would actually work. Not only does her hubbie survive (unfortunate, shoulda died, might have given me some satisfaction, call me a sadist idc), but after that, the spirit seems to leave them alone completely. No more spirit hauntings/manifestations. So by “breaking the rules” that Joe kindfully explained to them (mind you, wisdom that his family has gathered throughout generations of experience), the spirit is somewhat defeated? These 2 basic white bishes defeated the big bad boo in less than a year, but no one else has been able to do that before? BULL. NO. I REFUSE. I’M DONE. BYE.
To be fair, this book didn’t do anything wrong really & is more of a two star read to go along with some other disappointing horror novels I’ve read, but I was just so frustrated with another disappointing read, that I just gave it one star. I might give it two if I ever feel like it. So probably never.
Also please don’t be too offended by this review. I’m just having a little rant, that’s all. If you enjoyed this book, more praise to you, I just didn’t. Okay bye ✌🏻