Lifelong friends Noah and Tristan find themselves leaning on each other in the aftermath of a violent event at their school, watching from the tenuous sidelines while their classmates fall apart. Each teen handles the trauma differently, some falling in love, some turning toward religion, and others getting lost in politics, resentment, drug abuse, or depression. This novel explores the various ways the human spirit tries to cope when awful things happen, and offers a critical view of some of the most difficult, complex issues of our time.
Kaycee King is an LGBTQ+ person who writes novels that center dark, realistic themes, intense challenges, and inner turmoil to showcase the resilience of complex characters. Her stories explore the messy, raw, and often brutal aspects of life, but do so with a steady undercurrent of hope.
When she isn't writing, Kaycee loves photographing wildlife, drawing her characters, spending time with family, cuddling her cats, or curling up with some coffee and a good book.
I was interested in this book because it’s relatable on some level. As an LGBTQ man growing up I was bullied a lot and there were times I didn’t want to go to school because I didn’t want to be in the hands of someone evil making my days worst or putting me in pain. While I didn’t shoot up a school I still feel that pain to this day and carry that same anxiety with me into adulthood. But for the love of god you did not just write a LGBTQ book and literally put Noah as the main character. For readers who haven’t read the book. Noah had a boyfriend named billy and they would constantly bully a boy name Ainsley who has no friends because of a scam his father did to the town. The other main character is Tristan. Point being, Noah and billy bullied Ainsley to the point he shot up the school then Ainsley kills billy then the story focuses some parts of Tristan falling in love with Noah and vice Versa. I guess being evil, ppl do get happy ending instead of owning up to their actions. Noah should’ve stop putting blames on other people like he wasn’t the main reason. I’m honestly disappointed Kaycee King even wrote this book. It’s like putting a dog in a cage constantly beating it up till one day it bites you, then animal control comes and puts it down, then you get to go on living your life and having a happy ending acting as though you were the main source of that dogs pain. Book was seriously a waste of time and really fired me up and not in a good way. How could you write the characters like that and even worst they’re LGBTQ as well and the irony of it all is that in reality it’s always the other way around that us LGBTQ ppl are the ones who get bullied and ostracised.
The author immediately sets us in the atmosphere of a rural school premise with boys bullying Ainsley, who then retaliates in his own evil way. The initial pacing is fantastically fast, just like in a good TV series. And then the story and its underlined lessons begin, with post-trauma thoughts from interesting characters, including the shooter’s mother, and of course, finding comfort and a spark to continue. Most of all, the characters struggle to explain this evil act to themselves, to us. Being gay or bisexual is an important element of the story, but the actual point is being compassionate and regretful as a human being. One lesson is that being gay, or belonging to a suppressed minority, does not automatically make one a better person.
The writing is also fascinating in how we read the characters’ minds and what drives them to act the way they do. Such brilliant writing expresses the direct and honest thoughts of the teenagers, making them typical of their age and round. I mostly found Noah and James complex, with the most profound characteristic and natural emotions. One blames himself and the other one seeks God for answers.
There are minor weaknesses. There is an overuse of the word ‘fuck’ and ‘fucking’ within the text. Properly inserted in many dialogues and characters’ thoughts, yet could be minimized in other parts. I guess some YA readers may object to my point here and I respectfully accept their objection. Another issue is the addition of side stories by minor characters and their relationships. I also wished there was a deeper look at the shooter’s mother, whose intriguing character caught my attention.
The shooter’s written thoughts brought in an italic font at the beginning of certain chapters throughout the book are mesmerizing, storming my gut. In fact, it started at the very beginning with the following text: ‘He was blank and fucking empty before he flipped them off and shot off his rounds.’ Through expressing his thoughts, the author brilliantly forces us to bring up deep thinking about whether we should sympathize with this suffering teenager before conducting his evil act. All these features made me giving this book a 5-star rating.
A heart-wrenching, thought-provoking novel. In the author's words, characters are "being...terribly human," and "buried themselves into different modes of coping" after a high school tragedy.