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Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection
Twelve practical strategies to experience more joy and feel less guilt as a working parent, drawn from ACT, the groundbreaking therapy technique that has helped countless people.
Dr. Yael Schonbrun calls out the myth of the work-life balance and offers practical strategies that can help us reframe our approach to working and parenting from the inside out. Based in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), these strategies won’t create more hours in the day, but they can shift how we label our experiences, revise the stories we tell ourselves about working and parenting, and recognize the value we get from each role.
Differing values and commitments pull working parents in opposite directions and the social supports families desperately need are lacking. Yet even with these very real challenges, we can find more peace and less stress.
Some of these strategies include:
Getting clear on our values and using these to help us make what often feel like no-win choices around time and resources
Practicing mindfulness in both parenting and working
Subtracting less meaningful obligations from our lives
These steps can help you crush both roles, with examples from the author’s research that show families of many shapes and backgrounds.
Dr. Yael Schonbrun calls out the myth of the work-life balance and offers practical strategies that can help us reframe our approach to working and parenting from the inside out. Based in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), these strategies won’t create more hours in the day, but they can shift how we label our experiences, revise the stories we tell ourselves about working and parenting, and recognize the value we get from each role.
Differing values and commitments pull working parents in opposite directions and the social supports families desperately need are lacking. Yet even with these very real challenges, we can find more peace and less stress.
Some of these strategies include:
Getting clear on our values and using these to help us make what often feel like no-win choices around time and resources
Practicing mindfulness in both parenting and working
Subtracting less meaningful obligations from our lives
These steps can help you crush both roles, with examples from the author’s research that show families of many shapes and backgrounds.
336 pages, Paperback
Published November 1, 2022
213 people are currently reading
3787 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
October 18, 2022
I loved this book! Prior to reading Work, Parent, Thrive, working parenthood felt like a juggling act I'd never be able to master. But this book gave me a mindset shift that allowed me to see the ways each role can enrich the other. It helped me to exhale for the first time in 10 years! I highly recommend this book for anyone who cares deeply about embodying the roles of parent and professional and doing it well.
October 30, 2022
Today, there are so many parents that are working full time, while also trying to raise a family. Gone are the times where one parent stays home to manage the household. As a working parent, you need to figure out how to navigate the relationship between your home and work life as both are quite demanding. This book, Work, Parent, Thrive presents research based strategies to be a successful working parent. This book is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Some of the important information in the book includes: how to adopt more mindfulness in our lives, how to eliminate meaningless/less important obligations on our time, and looking at and embracing what we really value. I highly recommend this book to all working parents. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance review copy in exchange for my honest review.
October 16, 2022
Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the eARC!
Boy, did this book make me feel seen. Highly recommend reading this if you’d like validation about how hard it is to balance life when you’re a working mom. This gave me some great ideas on how to change my mind set. There were some tools I knew about but some new insight I hope to start practicing
Boy, did this book make me feel seen. Highly recommend reading this if you’d like validation about how hard it is to balance life when you’re a working mom. This gave me some great ideas on how to change my mind set. There were some tools I knew about but some new insight I hope to start practicing
November 1, 2022
If you are, like me, a working mom or dad of small children who has felt under water since the pandemic began, Work, Parent, Thrive is essential reading—and an incredible bargain to boot. Here is a book filled to the brim with useful ideas and advice about navigating modern life as a working parent—the kind of book you dog-ear every page of—but it costs one tenth of a single therapy session.
That said, you shouldn’t think about Work, Parent, Thrive as an alternative to therapy, but rather as a critical supplement to it. For those unfamiliar with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, the book is likely to feel like a revelation. But even for those seasoned ACT veterans, Dr. Schonbrun offers an array of valuable insights to change how you think about and approach working parenthood.
Work, Parent, Thrive is engaging, approachable, and practical. Dr. Schonbrun marshals the scientific research to drive her powerful advice, but she mixes in plenty of personal stories and humorous anecdotes to keep the narrative compelling. You’ll encounter wisdom from Maya Angelou, Angela Duckworth, and Homer Simpson. My favorite sections were on the benefits of alloparenting and delegation, and on adopting a subtraction mindset, but I expect every reader will find different parts resonating with them because the book is so rich. Don't miss this one.
That said, you shouldn’t think about Work, Parent, Thrive as an alternative to therapy, but rather as a critical supplement to it. For those unfamiliar with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, the book is likely to feel like a revelation. But even for those seasoned ACT veterans, Dr. Schonbrun offers an array of valuable insights to change how you think about and approach working parenthood.
Work, Parent, Thrive is engaging, approachable, and practical. Dr. Schonbrun marshals the scientific research to drive her powerful advice, but she mixes in plenty of personal stories and humorous anecdotes to keep the narrative compelling. You’ll encounter wisdom from Maya Angelou, Angela Duckworth, and Homer Simpson. My favorite sections were on the benefits of alloparenting and delegation, and on adopting a subtraction mindset, but I expect every reader will find different parts resonating with them because the book is so rich. Don't miss this one.
November 1, 2022
god, every working parent will relate to this book. and it's great!! what sets it apart from all the other parenting books i've seen is that it's not focused on how your kids can have a better life (though there is plenty on that) but rather how YOU can have a better life despite being a working parent.
and of course if you were actually relaxed, well-rested, and thriving, that would be one of the best things you could do for your kids.
think of this book like a conversation with your brilliant and beloved therapist. you've already told her all about your crazy, messy, embarrassing life, so she gets you, and this is her advice back to you. of course none of us can follow all of it, but any of these ideas could be life-changing.
and of course if you were actually relaxed, well-rested, and thriving, that would be one of the best things you could do for your kids.
think of this book like a conversation with your brilliant and beloved therapist. you've already told her all about your crazy, messy, embarrassing life, so she gets you, and this is her advice back to you. of course none of us can follow all of it, but any of these ideas could be life-changing.
March 1, 2023
I’ve always wondered if I should feel a little guilty about the fact that I feel precisely zero guilt about being a working parent. This book helped me put into words for myself why I feel so strongly that I am not only a great mother even though I work, but in my personal case a much better mother *because* I work.
It also surprised me by helping me realize that my role as a mother has actually made me better at my job. For example, the only reason I finally found a way to get my charts done during work hours was that my kids made it almost impossible to continue the vicious cycle of bringing my work home.
“Counterintuitively, having two roles that demand your attention can naturally provide the breaks required to keep you from burning out on either.”
This was a bit of a chore to read and entirely too long towards the end, but it was a life-changing and affirming perspective shift for me.
It also surprised me by helping me realize that my role as a mother has actually made me better at my job. For example, the only reason I finally found a way to get my charts done during work hours was that my kids made it almost impossible to continue the vicious cycle of bringing my work home.
“Counterintuitively, having two roles that demand your attention can naturally provide the breaks required to keep you from burning out on either.”
This was a bit of a chore to read and entirely too long towards the end, but it was a life-changing and affirming perspective shift for me.
January 5, 2023
As a mother of three balancing two careers and a hectic family life, I loved this book! As a psychologist myself, the combination of Yael’s personal experiences with philosophy and science was rich and compelling. She not only brilliantly ties together ancient wisdom and real life, she does it with warmth and humor. What I loved most was how she delivered strategies in a realistic way, and that these strategies truly work. My favorites are how to change our mindset from work-life conflict to work-life enrichment and how to find rest as a busy parent! I am very picky about how I use my precious free time, and reading this book was worth every minute.
August 22, 2023
A game-changing book for me about the mindset of being a working parent. The book brushed up against toxic-positivity at moments, but stayed on the helpful and realistic side of the line. A bit repetitive in places, but it was repeating a message that I do need to hear a million times. A genuinley impressive author and book.
October 24, 2023
This was an interesting read. I was surprised to see that it was published by Shambhala Publications - aka the Buddhist people - and I was annoyed when the author began by saying we could put the structural problems of parenting-while-capitalist aside (e.g. no government subsidies for childcare, no government mandated parental leave, oh my blood is boiling again), and focus on changing our mindset. My initial reaction was, "lady, whut". But she did make some very good points - and I can see how indeed very Buddhist these points were. Namely: Life is suffering (First Noble Truth) - aka, there are seasons of life and experiences that are just difficult. Deal with it!
Indeed, the main thesis of the book is that, if we stop RESISTING the difficulties in our chaotic, parenting-small-children-while-trying-to-work, upside-down-house lives, we will save ourselves a lot of extra pain. And that is certainly true and sensible. Emily Oster - who recommended this book on her substack - often talks about "there is no option C". Sometimes we are just faced with two unpleasant choices, and waffling between them will not make a better, third option appear. It's another way of saying: acknowledge your constraints. It is physically not possible to work 80 hour weeks and parent small children - accept that! I found that helpful. It's always a good reminder. You are going to drop balls. Oh well!
There were some worksheets and self-helpy activities, but I listened to this on audiobook, so can't really evaluate them.
Indeed, the main thesis of the book is that, if we stop RESISTING the difficulties in our chaotic, parenting-small-children-while-trying-to-work, upside-down-house lives, we will save ourselves a lot of extra pain. And that is certainly true and sensible. Emily Oster - who recommended this book on her substack - often talks about "there is no option C". Sometimes we are just faced with two unpleasant choices, and waffling between them will not make a better, third option appear. It's another way of saying: acknowledge your constraints. It is physically not possible to work 80 hour weeks and parent small children - accept that! I found that helpful. It's always a good reminder. You are going to drop balls. Oh well!
There were some worksheets and self-helpy activities, but I listened to this on audiobook, so can't really evaluate them.
September 23, 2023
This book is so helpful for reframing and appreciating the challenges of being a working parent. I’ve recommended it to every working parent I know. It won’t necessarily make life easier, but it will help you focus on the good.
June 1, 2023
This book just takes all of the popular social science psychology tricks of the last 20 years and rehashes them in a very wordy, roundabout way while occasionally shooing in the words "working parent", "child", and, my favorite, "put them in front of a screen". Read the originals and skip this.
October 3, 2022
I'm a working mom of two little ones and so the concept of this book was initially very exciting for me. The overall theme as I understood it is "mindful parenting", and changing the way we perceive and react to things we can't control. This makes so much sense, rather than living all the time in a frustrating world of trying to fix what we can't really change. There is some great advice here and lots of various anecdotes. I did find the book to be pretty repetitive and wordy, which made it hard for me to connect. For this reason, I wasn't able to get all the way through it.
Thank you to Shambhala and NetGalley for the opportunity to access this free e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to Shambhala and NetGalley for the opportunity to access this free e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
November 18, 2022
For those readers who have jobs in addition to parenting (because, let's face it, we all *work*), this book is truly a dream come true. Why? Because of course it acknowledges that so many of the issues we face need to be solved with a structural, systemic policy overhaul. But it also assures us that we don't have to wait for that to happen in order to find more peace and fulfillment in both roles. AND it gives us concrete strategies, all based in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), for how to do so. AND it's funny. AND it's super relatable. Run, don't walk, people!
Read
November 2, 2022I am only a few chapters in to WORK PARENT THRIVE and actually feeling my shoulders unclench. Dr Schonbrun's descriptions of the challenges we face are not only relatable but when laid out so plainly, make it clear why we are so overwhelmed. I am new to some of the science-based strategies from clinical psychology that she offers, such as ACT, but finding them intuitive and applicable. Looking forward to completing the book and grateful to have found it.
November 3, 2022
As a clinical psychologist and working mom, I cannot recommend Work, Parent, Thrive highly enough. Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Schonbrun offers research-supported, practical, user-friendly strategies for those of us hoping to make the most of our work and home lives. Schonbrun, a mother herself, writes with warmth and compassion, offering a clear roadmap for honoring our values in multiple areas of our lives. Truly a must-read!
January 6, 2023
I’ll admit it: I haven’t read many parenting books. And yes, that probably explains a thing or two about my techniques.
But, when I heard that my friend was writing a book on a topic that I feel deeply — the guilt and overwhelm of work and parenting — I was eager to check it out. I appreciate the blend of research, personal stories, and pragmatic strategies that anyone can try on any random day. Even if you focus in on the Burnout chapter alone, you’ll come away with new ideas.
But, when I heard that my friend was writing a book on a topic that I feel deeply — the guilt and overwhelm of work and parenting — I was eager to check it out. I appreciate the blend of research, personal stories, and pragmatic strategies that anyone can try on any random day. Even if you focus in on the Burnout chapter alone, you’ll come away with new ideas.
December 15, 2023
I feel like Yael Schonbrun and I have been reading all of the same psychology books for the past 10 years. Well, she's obviously done more research than I have, but it was interesting seeing all the familiar names come up (including a reference to Loving Kindness meditation, shoutout to Jimbo) in a discussion of working parenthood. In that way, it was more of a helpful reminder instead of a revelation, but it was nice to read, reflect, and think about my mindset as I prepare to go full-on back into working parenthood next year.
October 17, 2022
Most parents are working parents in todays world. This book is based on the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Teaching 12 concepts to help parents to improve their mindset, and figure out your values. We all know that the work/life balance is difficult, and being a parent just adds to the stress!
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!
November 10, 2022
I'm not huge fan of "self-help" books, but this book is different. It is rooted in evidence, yet completely relatable. My working self is a part of my identity that I don't want to -and can't- give up. This book offers strategies to shift the way we think about "work-life balance" that is actually effective. I can't put this one down - highly recommend!
January 28, 2023
This is a must read for anyone who is juggling parenthood and work or is about to embark on this. Such a beautifully written book, easy to read yet packed full of science-backed wisdom. I loved reading this and it's full of nuggets for sharing with my clients, I just wish it had been written when I was navigating parenting and work. Highly recommended
September 8, 2023
My number one takeaway from this one for me is that taking on more action makes us feel in control but often has the opposite effect; choosing to subtract when overwhelmed is harder but can relieve that pressure valve.
This one took me a little bit to get through because I legit took notes and reread parts to make sure it sunk in.
This one took me a little bit to get through because I legit took notes and reread parts to make sure it sunk in.
January 15, 2024
I believe that this book can benefit only working parents but for a diverse audience striving to find happiness despite the challenges they are facing.
Speaking about my own experience, after I started implementing the strategies described in the book, I noticed a positive shift in my mood and mindset, experiencing increased happiness and inner peace.
Speaking about my own experience, after I started implementing the strategies described in the book, I noticed a positive shift in my mood and mindset, experiencing increased happiness and inner peace.
July 27, 2025
Unfortunately I did end up skimming most of this book. For a book that is written for working parents (so, very busy people) it drags on quite a bit and is very repetitive. Each chapter has a TLDR, so I ended up skimming and then reading that part.
A couple of good tips but mostly stuff I’ve read/learned/tried/figured out before.
A couple of good tips but mostly stuff I’ve read/learned/tried/figured out before.
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December 3, 2022Skimmed and read tl/dr sections. Noted the unhooking from unhelpful labels we give ourselves and distancing ourselves from negative thoughts by thinking “I am labeling myself stressed”, for example, instead of “I am stressed ”. Good to remember.
December 23, 2022
Unfortunately, this book didn’t offer much new information or insight, and it seemed quite repetitive.
Memorable quotes:
It is the pause that refreshes.
Difficult and easy are interdependent. They both complement and sustain each other. / Hard and easy complete each other.
Memorable quotes:
It is the pause that refreshes.
Difficult and easy are interdependent. They both complement and sustain each other. / Hard and easy complete each other.
January 13, 2023
Really highly recommend this for working parents (particularly those who are hard on themselves). Not every part of this resonated with me but there is a lot in here that is helpful, practical, and validating.
March 19, 2023
Very helpful insights on the working-parent relationship. A few nuggets really stuck with me, changing my mindset for the better. Also very helpful to know I’m not alone, when sometimes it can feel that way.
March 19, 2023
This book wasn’t quite as practical as I hoped. However, I still found it helpful for reframing what always feels like I’m never doing “enough” both at home and as a mom. Working parenthood is complex.
August 22, 2023
This was a great read to prepare myself to return to work after a long and fulfilling parental leave. I truly appreciated the focus on growth mindset in the context of a working parent. I feel so validated with the points made. Highly recommend for any working parent.
May 16, 2024
I really appreciated her compassionate, gentle, and science-backed approach for being a working parent. I particularly appreciated her thoughts about the benefits of being a working parent, as so often it’s seen as a detriment. She had some great techniques for getting through the rough days.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews