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A Question of Age
A beautifully written, searing and powerful examination of women and ageing that you will not be able to put intense, compelling, poetic, raging.
this is not a self-help book. Or, a helpful book, necessarily. No one really needs 'help' with ageing. It will happen no matter what we do. Neither is it a book to guide you through these stages of ageing. This book will not ask you to love your lines. Or to post on social media that you feel privileged to age. This book is, instead, a howl of rage.
Grappling with ageing is one of the most confronting elements of being a woman. When we become invisible, when we lose our sexual currency, when we lose that elasticity in our skin, when our bodies soften and change, when our perceived 'value' to society dramatically falls, when our notion of self-worth takes a radical shift.
What do we do when our outside self doesn't match our inside self? That old woman staring back at her reflection in the mirror doesn't understand why she feels so young. So how do we adjust our perceptions of getting older? What does it mean to age as a woman? How do we adjust our thinking about being in the world? What is our currency now?
Jacinta believes that midlife is a crucial reckoning with despair and hope, a time when you are naked in the centre of the world and no-one notices or perhaps cares to look. Midlife is a time when you take stock – to look back and understand how you were made as a woman, and to look forward into the future, to see how you might unmake yourself to live the life that perhaps you should be living.
A Question of Age is incendiary, raging and raw, but also compassionate, insightful and powerfully energising. It is a book for every woman looking in the mirror thinking she no longer recognises herself. It is a book for our times.
this is not a self-help book. Or, a helpful book, necessarily. No one really needs 'help' with ageing. It will happen no matter what we do. Neither is it a book to guide you through these stages of ageing. This book will not ask you to love your lines. Or to post on social media that you feel privileged to age. This book is, instead, a howl of rage.
Grappling with ageing is one of the most confronting elements of being a woman. When we become invisible, when we lose our sexual currency, when we lose that elasticity in our skin, when our bodies soften and change, when our perceived 'value' to society dramatically falls, when our notion of self-worth takes a radical shift.
What do we do when our outside self doesn't match our inside self? That old woman staring back at her reflection in the mirror doesn't understand why she feels so young. So how do we adjust our perceptions of getting older? What does it mean to age as a woman? How do we adjust our thinking about being in the world? What is our currency now?
Jacinta believes that midlife is a crucial reckoning with despair and hope, a time when you are naked in the centre of the world and no-one notices or perhaps cares to look. Midlife is a time when you take stock – to look back and understand how you were made as a woman, and to look forward into the future, to see how you might unmake yourself to live the life that perhaps you should be living.
A Question of Age is incendiary, raging and raw, but also compassionate, insightful and powerfully energising. It is a book for every woman looking in the mirror thinking she no longer recognises herself. It is a book for our times.
304 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 21, 2022
55 people are currently reading
346 people want to read
About the author
Jacinta Parsons
8 books19 followersJacinta Parsons is a broadcaster, radio maker, writer, and public speaker. She currently hosts Afternoons on ABC Melbourne delivering a popular mix of art, culture and ideas. She began her radio-life at community radio station 3RRR over a decade ago, where she hosted several shows including Breakfasters and Detour. But her peak Melbourne moment came earlier, when she worked as a tram conductor (proudly wearing one of the last of the Connie’s green uniforms).
Jacinta has lived with Crohn’s disease for over 20 years and is an ambassador for the Crohn’s and Colitis Association and speaks and writes about the impact of living with chronic illness. She is also an active member of the arts & music community and is a board member for Melbourne disability theatre company, Rollercoaster. Unseen is her first book.
Jacinta has lived with Crohn’s disease for over 20 years and is an ambassador for the Crohn’s and Colitis Association and speaks and writes about the impact of living with chronic illness. She is also an active member of the arts & music community and is a board member for Melbourne disability theatre company, Rollercoaster. Unseen is her first book.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
August 21, 2025
A couple of years ago, I shelved this book on Goodreads as ‘gave up on.’ I tried twice and it just didn’t do it for me. The narration was lovely, the writing strong—but it wasn’t what I was looking for at the time. Now - so ready. I fully admit I am feeling my age and not in a good way.
Fast forward to now: I’ve finished the audiobook, narrated with such warmth and conviction by Jacinta herself, I see it so differently. I’m in a place where I feel stagnant—deeply aware of the shifts in my body, mind, and spirit. And this book met me there.
Jacinta’s poetic, passionate prose speaks to the experience of ageing as a woman in a world that often wants us to disappear. But we can’t and we should not. The message is strong, we need to stay visible—not just for ourselves, but for the next generation. If we fade quietly, younger women inherit the same hostile terrain we did. This book echoes that truth powerfully.
Right now, I’m reckoning with a kind of despair. I’ve become one of those women I never thought I’d be—the ones I used to watch from the sidelines when catcalling was still considered normal. I thought I had the world ahead of me. But here I am, navigating societal expectations, beauty standards, and the endless pressure to “fix” ourselves.
Jacinta doesn’t shy away from the hard stuff—misogyny, patriarchal constraints, the loss of sexual currency, and the fight to hold onto self-worth. Her words helped me sit with the murkiness of perimenopause and the emotional, spiritual, and physical shifts it brings.
This book is potent, it’s full of things I’ll need to revisit. And while I may not write and dream with Jacinta’s fire, I feel the stirrings of something. I’d recommend this to any woman standing at the edge of midlife, wondering what comes next.
And as an aside, those lucky Melbournians with Jacinta on the airwaves 💛
I listened to this via the Libby app and my public library.
Fast forward to now: I’ve finished the audiobook, narrated with such warmth and conviction by Jacinta herself, I see it so differently. I’m in a place where I feel stagnant—deeply aware of the shifts in my body, mind, and spirit. And this book met me there.
Jacinta’s poetic, passionate prose speaks to the experience of ageing as a woman in a world that often wants us to disappear. But we can’t and we should not. The message is strong, we need to stay visible—not just for ourselves, but for the next generation. If we fade quietly, younger women inherit the same hostile terrain we did. This book echoes that truth powerfully.
Right now, I’m reckoning with a kind of despair. I’ve become one of those women I never thought I’d be—the ones I used to watch from the sidelines when catcalling was still considered normal. I thought I had the world ahead of me. But here I am, navigating societal expectations, beauty standards, and the endless pressure to “fix” ourselves.
Jacinta doesn’t shy away from the hard stuff—misogyny, patriarchal constraints, the loss of sexual currency, and the fight to hold onto self-worth. Her words helped me sit with the murkiness of perimenopause and the emotional, spiritual, and physical shifts it brings.
This book is potent, it’s full of things I’ll need to revisit. And while I may not write and dream with Jacinta’s fire, I feel the stirrings of something. I’d recommend this to any woman standing at the edge of midlife, wondering what comes next.
And as an aside, those lucky Melbournians with Jacinta on the airwaves 💛
I listened to this via the Libby app and my public library.
November 19, 2022
Got to page 85 and went, I'm done. I wanted to like it. I appreciated the concepts, archetypes we can fall into to/believe in. However, if this was about aging, there's A LOT of talk about being young. The various examples she gives have started to become tedious, not helpful in the 'flow' of the book. I appreciate that she states that she comes from privileged background (cis gendered white woman) and acknowledges issues of other groups.
I did laugh at an earlier reviewer at 39 being ok, honey, I'm in my early 50's -wait a few years and you'll see the difference in attitude towards you.
Also I felt the writer felt 'pissed off' at all these 'issues' & 'cultural 'norms'. Hey, we grow up with it, does your point of view change? Of course, how many times have any of us reflected on something in the 'dim dark past' and gone.....oh god NO!
I've got a long reading list. And this didn't inspire, and I didn't feel like I gained anything from it, so, I'm moving on.
I did laugh at an earlier reviewer at 39 being ok, honey, I'm in my early 50's -wait a few years and you'll see the difference in attitude towards you.
Also I felt the writer felt 'pissed off' at all these 'issues' & 'cultural 'norms'. Hey, we grow up with it, does your point of view change? Of course, how many times have any of us reflected on something in the 'dim dark past' and gone.....oh god NO!
I've got a long reading list. And this didn't inspire, and I didn't feel like I gained anything from it, so, I'm moving on.
September 4, 2022
Something drew me to this book and it became the book I needed to read …. HAD to read. I cannot convey how much I needed to read these words. If I could buy a copy and place it into the hands of every woman I know I would - from my teenage daughter to my elderly mother. All I can say is that this is a MUST read. My review will not be able to do it justice, but here goes ….
This is a first person exploration of the many challenges that arise being female and, in particular, aging in our society. It is honest - at times brutally so - yet so life affirming with words every woman NEEDS to hear. It’s about acknowledging and witnessing a change in one’s life into, not just another stage of phase, but something completely new. Ageing - something we are taught to be terrified of even though, as the years creep by, we really feel not that different on the inside than we did decades ago. It is SO confirming to feel a sense of positivity about entering this stage of life and looking back to reflect upon all that has come before that led you to this point in your life. For some it might be about undoing all that was done over a lifetime in order to finally live the life that is suited to you best.
Still we feel the need to go down with a fight, a rage almost. Yet this could be a rage based upon all we have been told about ageing. What if that line of thinking were to change?
‘Unlike the transition from girl to woman, moving into an older body is about the act of disrobing, undressing from the identity we had spent our lifetimes forming … This time is about removing a layer of skin so that you are rubbed raw in readiness to start the process of beginning again.’
This book challenges you to take the blinkers off and encourages you - No! - demands that you now see yourself in a new and better light. ‘There must be a middle point you can cross that changes the meaning of your journey’ so that it's not just a downhill run to the ultimate finishing line. Instead midlife should be a time of reflection and contemplation.
‘I understood that ageing and this moment of midlife would only be about renewal if I was prepared to lose it all so that I might find myself again. That the moments of firsts might return if I was prepared to see myself reflected back as something new.
To see myself again for the first time.
This book is not just about aging - it is this and so much more. That is why I would give it to my teenage daughter to read so her journey could somehow be better, insightful and wishfully smoother. This book taught me to understand that aging is not only a privilege but something that was really important and rejuvenating to do.
‘ Is time the element we need to combat if we hope to be free of our ageing? Do we need to spend more of our lives not looking, not counting, not assessing ourselves against the concepts that time imposes on our lives? … When we are finally forced to understand that our bodies will break, we can no longer hide from the truth-telling of our own mortality. What seems so horrifying is nothing but a beautiful twist, but at this point it is impossible to see it that way.’
This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.
This is a first person exploration of the many challenges that arise being female and, in particular, aging in our society. It is honest - at times brutally so - yet so life affirming with words every woman NEEDS to hear. It’s about acknowledging and witnessing a change in one’s life into, not just another stage of phase, but something completely new. Ageing - something we are taught to be terrified of even though, as the years creep by, we really feel not that different on the inside than we did decades ago. It is SO confirming to feel a sense of positivity about entering this stage of life and looking back to reflect upon all that has come before that led you to this point in your life. For some it might be about undoing all that was done over a lifetime in order to finally live the life that is suited to you best.
Still we feel the need to go down with a fight, a rage almost. Yet this could be a rage based upon all we have been told about ageing. What if that line of thinking were to change?
‘Unlike the transition from girl to woman, moving into an older body is about the act of disrobing, undressing from the identity we had spent our lifetimes forming … This time is about removing a layer of skin so that you are rubbed raw in readiness to start the process of beginning again.’
This book challenges you to take the blinkers off and encourages you - No! - demands that you now see yourself in a new and better light. ‘There must be a middle point you can cross that changes the meaning of your journey’ so that it's not just a downhill run to the ultimate finishing line. Instead midlife should be a time of reflection and contemplation.
‘I understood that ageing and this moment of midlife would only be about renewal if I was prepared to lose it all so that I might find myself again. That the moments of firsts might return if I was prepared to see myself reflected back as something new.
To see myself again for the first time.
This book is not just about aging - it is this and so much more. That is why I would give it to my teenage daughter to read so her journey could somehow be better, insightful and wishfully smoother. This book taught me to understand that aging is not only a privilege but something that was really important and rejuvenating to do.
‘ Is time the element we need to combat if we hope to be free of our ageing? Do we need to spend more of our lives not looking, not counting, not assessing ourselves against the concepts that time imposes on our lives? … When we are finally forced to understand that our bodies will break, we can no longer hide from the truth-telling of our own mortality. What seems so horrifying is nothing but a beautiful twist, but at this point it is impossible to see it that way.’
This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.
December 13, 2022
I stopped at around half way.
This book has undertones of bitterness, and victimhood. Something I do not wish to subscribe to.
The author seems to be upset at the world and sees herself as hard done by and discarded. Basically insinuating that life is over for middle aged women.
You don’t have to visit bars and let yourself and your health go because you’re passed 35. That’s a choice. Age is a number and you can choose to do whatever you please.
I feel better at 39 than I did at 19. There’s no question of age, there’s a question of mindset and you create what you choose.
When you take personal responsibility, you take your power back!
This book has undertones of bitterness, and victimhood. Something I do not wish to subscribe to.
The author seems to be upset at the world and sees herself as hard done by and discarded. Basically insinuating that life is over for middle aged women.
You don’t have to visit bars and let yourself and your health go because you’re passed 35. That’s a choice. Age is a number and you can choose to do whatever you please.
I feel better at 39 than I did at 19. There’s no question of age, there’s a question of mindset and you create what you choose.
When you take personal responsibility, you take your power back!
March 29, 2023
Sorry, can’t recommend as I couldn’t see the point of it. For a book about getting old is way too much about being young
December 19, 2022
Disappointing. I read a review of this book and was very keen to read it. I’ve recently turned 55 and recently let my hair grow out grey. Since making this change I’ve noticed people treating me differently and hoped to find some fellow feeing in this book. I did finally after around 250 pages, but had almost given up by then. I found that the book dwells too much on the issues with being a woman generally, which was fine, but not what I was looking for in this book.
September 22, 2023
This book is negative, bitter and twisted. I disagreed with so much of it and learnt nothing but the author is angry and negative about aging.
October 1, 2022
This was a DNF for me. The first issue is, I accidentally booked an audiobook version, which is not a format I enjoy. However, I did get through two of the seven hours before deciding I would not get through this one.
Author sounds like a lovely person, so don’t wish to pan this too much, it looks like plenty of others liked this and got something out of it.
However, it just highlights to me how much women’s experiences in life are not the same. I could not relate to this at all and I did not recognise my own life in what she describes.
Author sounds like a lovely person, so don’t wish to pan this too much, it looks like plenty of others liked this and got something out of it.
However, it just highlights to me how much women’s experiences in life are not the same. I could not relate to this at all and I did not recognise my own life in what she describes.
November 8, 2022
Jacinta Parsons is a really lovely writer. This is her second book and I was struck again by her beautiful sentences and phrasing. Every word, just so. That her larger themes of ageing and rage are of deep interest to me was icing on the cake. I also appreciated the work that clearly went in to making this book as inclusive as possible. This book is thoughtful and tender while also making you want to kick a door down or scream into the void. I loved that contrast. Also, audio books read by the author is my happy place.
May 7, 2023
Parsons can write and has some nice turns of phrase (although it did veer towards being a bit overwrought at points) but I was really unclear about what this book was. It didn't seem to really be about ageing (something I was interested in) but a bit more of a grab bag of her own childhood memories mashed with reflections on womanhood generally. I guess my biggest beef with this book is that it took me nowhere new. This is something I find in a lot of books about 'feminism', particularly those written by white women - it's just the same boring list of things (women get catcalled, advertising is bad for body image etc) without any analysis that takes it further. Is this book for men? Or am I just meant to relate to it? In any event, I ended up bored.
November 8, 2022
Some wonderful writing. Great points made. But ultimately made me sad
November 23, 2022
Wanted to like this but quite disappointing. Too focused on outdated archetypes and an overly simplified, somewhat bitter take on middle age.
December 14, 2022
This book really spoke to me and as a 65 yo Anglo woman I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Jacinta Parson’s thoughts and machinations about ageing. Broad ranging and also very personal I liked that she didn’t assume it would be the same for all of us and her particular position as a woman growing older with a disability was very grounding for me. A great contribution to a scarce field. Made me think
September 22, 2023
Miserable
November 10, 2024
My heart sunk when I saw this was the book for book club - disliked her first book so was not keen....
The good news is I skimmed through it in less than hour *shrug*
The good news is I skimmed through it in less than hour *shrug*
October 1, 2022
Really liked this- strong powerful prose connecting the generations of women and telling the universal story of aging in an empowering way, sparing no punches to the solar plexus. It leaves you a bit breathless as a woman on the cusp of 50 but exhilarated too. Highly recommend.
September 12, 2022
With her flair for being able to drive a conversation, Jacinta has written a book on ageing which is not a manual on preparing and living through it. Instead she discusses the role of women throughout history, and our visibility at certain stages in our lives. She also discusses the essence of women through the elements, fire/air/water and earth, and how these are part of our ageing cycle. Part feminist diatribe, part reflection, part questioning, Jacinta certainly will have us discussing ageing and what it means for women.
Read by Suzie
Read by Suzie
June 29, 2024
I would give this 2.5 stars if I could.
I am 36 and starting to think about aging. I thought this book would contain some hard truths but also be empowering. However, after finishing it I felt a little bit worse about ageing than I did before picking it up. I liked that Parsons was not afraid to express her bitterness, resentment and even rage towards how women are treated in patriarchal society throughout their entire lives, from childhood to becoming elderly. However, I feel this needed to be balanced with some hope that could have been offered by addressing the different ways older women are increasingly claiming space, coming together in support of one another, demanding attention and choosing to live the later stages of life on their own terms with little regard to what is expected of them by an outdated societal model. I went in feeling more hopeful about aging than bitter and came away feeling like I was doomed to become resented by younger women, invisible to men and discarded by everyone.
This book claims it is groundbreaking and I think it is true in that I don't think anyone has ever written (as far as I'm aware) such a dark and pessimistic take on women and aging without providing that balance and hope. It is stated at the beginning that this is no self-help book and I did find this refreshing, but I think there's a happy medium in between self-help and the impending doom that Parsons dished up here.
I did relate strongly to a couple of themes Parsons addressed throughout the book - the experience of chronic illness as a young woman and feeling aged before your time and the idea that women and girls are often burdened with keeping the secrets of the violence committed by the men in their lives. Within these themes I found Parsons style of writing validating and cathartic. However, when the same writing was used to address themes I couldn't relate to I found it overly bitter and annoying.
I guess there's a small number of women out there in which this entire book could be a very validating and cathartic read. For me, it was only relevant in parts and for many other reviewers it seems not at all.
Parsons tried to organise the book by linking a woman's stages of life (girl, adolescent, young woman, middle aged woman, old woman) to the 5 elemental symbols of the occult (fire, air, earth, water, ether) and while I thought this was an interesting approach, it wasn't really executed well and ended up just disorienting the reader and confusing a lot of the points.
I think this book had great potential, but tried to be too many things at once and never quite nailed any of them. There is no doubt Parsons is a great writer but the structure/organization got in the way of the messaging. I believe it would have been more effective as a straight-up memoir or a collection of essays with the general theme of existing, growing and aging as a woman.
I don't regret reading A Question of Age - I did find value in some of it's points but overall it was a little disappointing.
I would be interested to read more of Jacinta Parsons work in the future
I am 36 and starting to think about aging. I thought this book would contain some hard truths but also be empowering. However, after finishing it I felt a little bit worse about ageing than I did before picking it up. I liked that Parsons was not afraid to express her bitterness, resentment and even rage towards how women are treated in patriarchal society throughout their entire lives, from childhood to becoming elderly. However, I feel this needed to be balanced with some hope that could have been offered by addressing the different ways older women are increasingly claiming space, coming together in support of one another, demanding attention and choosing to live the later stages of life on their own terms with little regard to what is expected of them by an outdated societal model. I went in feeling more hopeful about aging than bitter and came away feeling like I was doomed to become resented by younger women, invisible to men and discarded by everyone.
This book claims it is groundbreaking and I think it is true in that I don't think anyone has ever written (as far as I'm aware) such a dark and pessimistic take on women and aging without providing that balance and hope. It is stated at the beginning that this is no self-help book and I did find this refreshing, but I think there's a happy medium in between self-help and the impending doom that Parsons dished up here.
I did relate strongly to a couple of themes Parsons addressed throughout the book - the experience of chronic illness as a young woman and feeling aged before your time and the idea that women and girls are often burdened with keeping the secrets of the violence committed by the men in their lives. Within these themes I found Parsons style of writing validating and cathartic. However, when the same writing was used to address themes I couldn't relate to I found it overly bitter and annoying.
I guess there's a small number of women out there in which this entire book could be a very validating and cathartic read. For me, it was only relevant in parts and for many other reviewers it seems not at all.
Parsons tried to organise the book by linking a woman's stages of life (girl, adolescent, young woman, middle aged woman, old woman) to the 5 elemental symbols of the occult (fire, air, earth, water, ether) and while I thought this was an interesting approach, it wasn't really executed well and ended up just disorienting the reader and confusing a lot of the points.
I think this book had great potential, but tried to be too many things at once and never quite nailed any of them. There is no doubt Parsons is a great writer but the structure/organization got in the way of the messaging. I believe it would have been more effective as a straight-up memoir or a collection of essays with the general theme of existing, growing and aging as a woman.
I don't regret reading A Question of Age - I did find value in some of it's points but overall it was a little disappointing.
I would be interested to read more of Jacinta Parsons work in the future
December 8, 2022
I think this book laid bare more than I was ready for. It was a challenging read and I wish that I had tuned into some of radio broadcasts before this book.
There definitely nuggets of gold in her wisdom and observations, but much of her material was opinion above fact, though almost poetic in how she laid it out.
There definitely nuggets of gold in her wisdom and observations, but much of her material was opinion above fact, though almost poetic in how she laid it out.
April 13, 2024
3.5? mixed feelings about this one. ultimately i think it had a lot of good content but could have been condensed down a lot and lost some (or a lot lol) of the elements metaphors and repetition.
this wasn't a book i would have reached for myself - but it was the chosen book (along with this short podcast) for a book club at work and i'm glad i read it despite giving it a rating on the lower side as i still got lots out of it and it raised a lot of interesting points. (it also did make me quite sad/send me spiralling a bit at times though lol) i appreciated the efforts at intersectionality despite being written by a white women (her insights into her experiences of disability/physical illness and how this impacts her experiences of ageing were also interesting)
some main takeaways/things i want to explore more:
- a lot of discussion about women, internalised misogyny, empowerment etc. that reminded me of the panopticon/self-policing and the idea of the freedom fallacy and choice feminism. such a nuanced topic and i'm still not 100% sure where i sit but definitely think i agree with this school of thought more
- especially because it's not that simple e.g., some things may be empowering to certain groups of people (e.g., talking about disabled people and selfies because they aren't usually allowed to be seen in those ways)
- the midlife crisis talks sent me spiralling a bit bc i already feel like that lol
- so much of the talks about menopause, midlife crises etc etc - depressing bc i feel we simultaneously get told getting older sucks but also that life gets better the older you get
- her experience of not looking in the mirror for a week - and the idea that we literally see our flaws in ways people couldn't previously bc they didn't have access to mirrors, phones that make every pore visible when we take a picture of ourselves etc.
- ageism and how older women are disproportionately affected; how so much of the gender inequality we experience throughout life is compounded in ways that mean older women are the fastest growing cohort for homelessness (lower super etc)
- talkin’ up to the white woman - aileen moreton-robinson - "white women civilised, while white men brutalised"
- how views of ageing differ in different cultures. we view ageing/older people with digust in ways that lots of cultures don't. ie it isn't inherently bad or disgusting
- women and intergenerational trauma
this wasn't a book i would have reached for myself - but it was the chosen book (along with this short podcast) for a book club at work and i'm glad i read it despite giving it a rating on the lower side as i still got lots out of it and it raised a lot of interesting points. (it also did make me quite sad/send me spiralling a bit at times though lol) i appreciated the efforts at intersectionality despite being written by a white women (her insights into her experiences of disability/physical illness and how this impacts her experiences of ageing were also interesting)
some main takeaways/things i want to explore more:
- a lot of discussion about women, internalised misogyny, empowerment etc. that reminded me of the panopticon/self-policing and the idea of the freedom fallacy and choice feminism. such a nuanced topic and i'm still not 100% sure where i sit but definitely think i agree with this school of thought more
- especially because it's not that simple e.g., some things may be empowering to certain groups of people (e.g., talking about disabled people and selfies because they aren't usually allowed to be seen in those ways)
- the midlife crisis talks sent me spiralling a bit bc i already feel like that lol
- so much of the talks about menopause, midlife crises etc etc - depressing bc i feel we simultaneously get told getting older sucks but also that life gets better the older you get
- her experience of not looking in the mirror for a week - and the idea that we literally see our flaws in ways people couldn't previously bc they didn't have access to mirrors, phones that make every pore visible when we take a picture of ourselves etc.
- ageism and how older women are disproportionately affected; how so much of the gender inequality we experience throughout life is compounded in ways that mean older women are the fastest growing cohort for homelessness (lower super etc)
- talkin’ up to the white woman - aileen moreton-robinson - "white women civilised, while white men brutalised"
- how views of ageing differ in different cultures. we view ageing/older people with digust in ways that lots of cultures don't. ie it isn't inherently bad or disgusting
- women and intergenerational trauma
November 9, 2022
I could not finish this book. I found it so negative and self indulgent. I am 74, and have found ageing to be liberating and I experience a freedom not possible when younger. Sure, life is difficult at times but there is a lot to be grateful for.
January 16, 2023
Important topic but wandered off into other areas and I couldn’t connect the authors lived experiences with the topics and couldn’t connect with them myself.
Quite miserable and depressing with no empowerment or optimism (the worst part being a rotting apple metaphor).
Was hoping for something along the lines of Tara Moss, Clementine Ford or Caitlin Moran - but this was not of the same calibre for me.
Quite miserable and depressing with no empowerment or optimism (the worst part being a rotting apple metaphor).
Was hoping for something along the lines of Tara Moss, Clementine Ford or Caitlin Moran - but this was not of the same calibre for me.
July 27, 2025
Sorry Jacinta! This just didn't do it for me. You are not old in your mid-forties! Yes, we do become invisible, but most of this felt like one big gripe about being a woman.
February 1, 2023
Parsons makes it clear from the outset that A Question of Age is not a self-help book. Instead, it's an exploration of women's ageing from a personal perspective. I think Parsons is a solid writer (and
Unseen
was terrific) but I struggled to connect with what she was saying in this book for a couple of reasons.
Parsons asks how to age 'well' without being drawn into the social constraints of 'women' and 'age'. Firstly, it presupposes that we care about ageing (and there's a lot about the 'invisibility' associated with women past a certain age). Secondly, I'm not sure we can avoid the social context in which we respond to ageing or any issue for that matter - we're relational creatures after all.
She also asks how much change (in our bodies) do we tolerate before we push back. Clearly I can tolerate a lot (I'm a 'filler-free zone' and actually really like my laugh lines). Essentially, a bunch of questions are posed and I had a strong response to them (which didn't really match the direction of the book that was weighted heavily toward being worried about ageing). On reflection, I worry about health rather than the visible signs of ageing.
Although I enjoyed the organisation of the material (around the elements of fire, air, earth and water) some covered old ground (I reckon Jess Hill examined many of the same issues around gender, violence and social constraints in See What You Made Me Do).
2.5/5
Parsons asks how to age 'well' without being drawn into the social constraints of 'women' and 'age'. Firstly, it presupposes that we care about ageing (and there's a lot about the 'invisibility' associated with women past a certain age). Secondly, I'm not sure we can avoid the social context in which we respond to ageing or any issue for that matter - we're relational creatures after all.
She also asks how much change (in our bodies) do we tolerate before we push back. Clearly I can tolerate a lot (I'm a 'filler-free zone' and actually really like my laugh lines). Essentially, a bunch of questions are posed and I had a strong response to them (which didn't really match the direction of the book that was weighted heavily toward being worried about ageing). On reflection, I worry about health rather than the visible signs of ageing.
Although I enjoyed the organisation of the material (around the elements of fire, air, earth and water) some covered old ground (I reckon Jess Hill examined many of the same issues around gender, violence and social constraints in See What You Made Me Do).
2.5/5
January 31, 2023
Quite an amazing book. You need to read it all to understand the message. I notice that a number of reviewers panned it after giving up after less than 50 pages. That is a pity as the “angry raging woman” is only really featured in the first section and serves an important part of the dialogue. It appears to challenge a lot of people that a relatively young woman was daring to examine the whole journey of aging for women in our society and initially I had to battle a slightly cynical voice in my senior woman’s head as I read and I am pretty sure now that the angry woman language was used deliberately to challenge my and all readers self perceptions.
There is so much of worth in within these pages.
Prepare to be challenged and to consider how deeply buried is your own unchallenged inner misogynist. Trust me, it’s there
Brilliant conclusion to the study on aging is the final chapter, the Element Aether; New Beginnings. I was going to include a couple of quite from this section but would have to end up copying out the entire chapter
It is as the author say “a meditation on aging”
There is so much of worth in within these pages.
Prepare to be challenged and to consider how deeply buried is your own unchallenged inner misogynist. Trust me, it’s there
Brilliant conclusion to the study on aging is the final chapter, the Element Aether; New Beginnings. I was going to include a couple of quite from this section but would have to end up copying out the entire chapter
It is as the author say “a meditation on aging”
November 15, 2022
Whether you agree with the content in this book or note there’s no denying that Jacinta’s writing is simply stunning. I’m guessing this will be a decisive book due to the generations of women the topic straddles but it certainly hits the nail on the head in more places than one. There were paragraphs that took my breath away. Sentences that hit home hard and beautifully. The journey of women aging is rarely if ever discussed and I found this book raised the curtain on a broad range of topics never discussed but often felt. I listened to this as an audible book and always enjoy it more when the book is read by the author which is exactly what Jacinto has done. Great book. Highly recommend.
January 25, 2025
I found this a difficult book to rate and probably would have liked to give it 3.5 stars. Some parts were quite brilliant, particularly her views on death. One of the best quotes was "life...(is) a beautiful vibration that oscillates between joy and heartbreak."
In other areas of the book however, it turned into a bit of a whinge. For example she bemoaned that men referred to woman as "evil" such as a wicked witch without acknowledging it happens to men as well. We've all heard of the bogey man for example.
Still, it caused the reader to reflect a lot without providing any solutions or answers and I thought that was quite good.
In other areas of the book however, it turned into a bit of a whinge. For example she bemoaned that men referred to woman as "evil" such as a wicked witch without acknowledging it happens to men as well. We've all heard of the bogey man for example.
Still, it caused the reader to reflect a lot without providing any solutions or answers and I thought that was quite good.
October 30, 2022
I guess I wanted more from this book. I have been struggling with ageing as a woman in ways that men do not seem to experience. When for most of your life you have been judged by your looks, to find yourself fighting a losing battle with lines on your face, fat around your middle and grays in your hair is pretty tough. Fighting these things takes an extraordinary amount of time effort and money. As a young woman I was looking forward to getting old. I wouldn’t have to worry so much .
December 11, 2022
Lovely book to listen to .. read by the author .. who has a friendly snd earnest voice. lots to think about. Too much maybe.. so many good point. My only trouble was perhaps ot didn't knit together so well .. my head was full of jumbled up idea all along so by the end I'd lost them. The irony is not list on me given the topic!
December 16, 2023
I was taken with the author on a panel at a Writers festival. Interesting speaker to listen to .As a result this book was one of the couple I chose to purchase there.
Sadly I don’t feel I got anything from this book. I just found it quite a boring read overall. Did not excite my mind or live up to the blurb about it.
Sadly I don’t feel I got anything from this book. I just found it quite a boring read overall. Did not excite my mind or live up to the blurb about it.
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