The Save of My Life: My Journey Out of the Dark

by Corey Hirsch, Sean Patrick Conboy, Kevin Shea

A compelling look behind the mask of a professional hockey player offers understanding and hope to anyone living with mental illness.

By the time he was twenty-two years old, goaltender Corey Hirsch had won an Olympic silver medal, realized his childhood dream of playing in the NHL and drunk from the Stanley Cup. But these accomplishments no longer mattered to him. Hirsch was plagued by persistent dark thoughts and ceaseless anxiety. Even while he continued to excel in the net, his illness deepened. On days when he could barely get out of bed, he was able to push his misery aside for long enough to win a game. But as soon as he got back to his locker, the terrifying cycle started all over again. And it continued, until finally one night he drove his car toward a cliff, braking just before the edge. The near accident finally led him to confide in a team trainer, who helped him get the professional treatment he needed. Hirsch was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, and he was able to embark on the rocky road to recovery.

As Hirsch says, "I am not insane. I am not a bad person. I am not weak. I have an illness, and there is a treatment."

Genres: Sports, Nonfiction, Hockey, Self Help, Memoir

336 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 10, 2022

Reviews

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a Vancouver Canucks and hockey fan, I had to pick up this book and watched Corey Hirsch play in the 90s. An easy read and he does not hold back in his health journey. Mental health very real and so happy to hear his story!❤️🙏🏼

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heard about this book and placed a request for it at my library. Read it in about 3 hours. Easy read. Raw and he holds back nothing. Quite a story.

[Janelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is very rare for me to give a book a 5 star rating. I can count on one hand, the amount of books I felt worthy of 5 stars in my life. This book deserves that plus more. Corey Hirsch, a man I have never met who played a sport I never cared for, built a personal and powerful relationship with me through his words. This book isn’t a “woe is me” book or an autobiography to tell you how wonderful his life is after a chaotic start. This book is a story for those suffering. It’s a story for anyone who experiences mental illness through themselves and/or a close loved one. This story is a call for help, but not for him… for you or your family or friends, hiding in the shadows of their pain. Hirsch’s story tells you that it’s okay to not be okay. We need to shift the focus of success. We hear so many people who speak about success in terms of career and societal status. Corey Hirsch is a successful NFL goalie… but was he? Yes, he had a great job and lots of money. That fiery Psycho goalie mask protected his head, but not his mind. While his exterior was acceptable to society, his interior was crumbling to ash. His strength and determination to ask for help and spread his story and awareness is what makes him successful. Thank you, Mr. Hirsch. You are touching more lives than you will ever know.

[Chad · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best and most helpful books I’ve ever read. I appreciate that it exists, and will be asking my family and friends to read it. Please read it yourself.

As someone who has dealt with severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder for almost his entire life (a good 27 years), the subject matter found within Corey Hirsch’s book was familiar to me. I’ve dealt with many of the same things, and have thought about ending my life most days. Much like Corey Hirsch did.

I sympathize with and understand the author, and what he went through. He’s also put OCD into words better than I think I could, allowing it to be understandable and enlightening content. That’s why I want my family to read it, and why I bought a full priced copy despite originally borrowing this from the library.

Thank you for writing this great, incredibly honest, wholly open and well written book, Corey. It’ll help a lot of people.

[Deanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there is a man in your life - partner, son, father - who lives with mental illness and addiction - there is a lot of relatable content here. He makes a comment that when people get an early cancer diagnosis there are a lot of treatment options and that stage 1 or 2 cancer has a much better prognosis than stage 4. He likens this to mental illness - if a person ignores the signs and delays getting help, it is pretty difficult to treat stage 4 mental health and addiction.

[Tricia Kuzyk jorritsma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this book and found it fascinating. I appreciate Corey’s raw and real account of his mental illness and struggle to survive. A must-read for anyone trying to understand mental illness.

My only complaint is the narrator has obviously never watched a hockey game, the mispronunciation of star NHL player names was disappointing.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book is written in a way that makes you understand and relate to what he is thinking and going through.

Though you think they’d choose a narrator who knew how to pronounce the various famous hockey players or cities in North America mentioned.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. What a book. I am a huge hockey fan and I also struggle with mental illness so this book hits home. I praise Corey's ability to share what his intrusive thoughts were like. To think that he wouldn't be here if it weren't for some luck. It's amazing the ways the universe can put things strategically in our path. I'm glad he's still here to tell his story. I hope that with his story and so many others now, that there can be a change in the culture. Mental health is health and needs to be talked about just like if you broke your leg or had the flu. I highly recommend reading this book. It will both break your heart and give you hope.

[Nicola Humphries · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t stop listening to this book! It’s honest, emotional, and incredibly powerful. Corey’s story stuck with me. His willingness to speak so openly about his mental health struggles is not only brave, but truly impactful. It’s the kind of book that makes you feel seen and reminds you how important it is to keep the conversation around mental health going. I think it’s fantastic that Corey continues to share his story as a keynote speaker across Canada and the U.S., speaking to both corporations and youth, and the way he connects with others is helping to shift how we understand and talk about mental well-being.

[Costa Voutsinas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a well-written, descriptive, bare-all exposure of the dark journey mental illness can inflict on people and their family and loved ones. Watching these athletes perform presents them as immune to the ills of everyday life but clearly they often end up suffering in silence. Thanks Corey for your honesty and willingness to tackles the stigma of mental disease and sports.

[Janet Slater · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 for some repetition but if this book saves just one life it’s worth a thousand stars. An excellent personal description of mental illness which hopefully gets the message across to everyone, but especially young men (since it’s delivered by a hockey hero), that it’s important to ask for help if you need it.

[Cory · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very powerful and easy read on the topic of mental health through the lens of sports and family. This book should be embedded into school curriculum. Emotional, humorous, factual - this book has it all.

[Calvin Daniels · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing story. So great Hirsch shares his story.

[Carolyn Barnes-magnan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found it such a great story. Glad he shared it. I had the opportunity to meet Corey at the beginning of his journey. He is such a inspiration

[Christine Friel · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone that has a family member that suffers from OCD and can’t understand what they are living with everyday, this is a must read.

[Anna-Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful, authentic account of what it’s like to live with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Thank you Corey for sharing this with the world. I am sure you are saving lives with this book.

[Howie · Rating 4 out of 5]

insightful and difficult/fully transparent read in the struggles of mental illness.

[Mike Broderick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good to hear his story. I can’t help but wonder how good he must be stopping the puck while dealing with his OCD.

[Geoffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really hit home. What a sad story, proud of this guy for continuing his fight.

[Dave Cottenie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably the most non-hockey, hockey book there is. "The Save of My Life" goes deep into the psyche of Corey Hirsch and the mental illness that he struggled with during is playing days and post playing days. Very dark and disturbing at times, but very insightful and extremely well written. A huge downside is the audiobook version which has a massive number of mispronunciations that make it seem that the reader has never even heard of hockey.

[Savannah Stuermer · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Save Of My Life serves as a catalyst that will change the narrative around mental health and reduce the stigma associated with it. The first 3 or so pages nearly had me in tears. Which meant that right from the get go I was fully invested in Corey’s story. He shared his story in a vulnerable, wholehearted and authentic way and I truly commend him for doing so. Reading this book, you almost felt like you were experiencing the same things that Corey did. Consequently, it would be hard, if not impossible, to read this book and not feel for and empathize with Corey.

This book validates the struggles the reader is experiencing and helps them understand that they are not alone. It encourages people to reach out for the help and support that they need.

The Save Of My Life holds within it a tremendous amount of power. Power to change how mental health is viewed in the sports community, and in society at large. Power to bring people together. Power to educate people on the impact of mental illness. The Save Of My Life has the power to save lives.

I urge you to read this book. This is a book that will stay with you long after you read the last page. This book will open your eyes, open your heart and open your mind to the reality of mental illness. Thank you Corey for the work you do as a mental health advocate.