YOU’RE A SH*T REF AND YOU SHOULD F*CK OFF BACK TO ENGLAND!
For the best part of a decade, writer and journalist Ian Plenderleith has been refereeing amateur football in the German city of Frankfurt am Main. Through parental mass brawls, on-field fistfights, choleric coaches and foul-mouthed threats, he endures a never-ending lack of respect and sportsmanship, pocked with flashes of humour and even half-decent behaviour.
This book tells you what’s going on in a referee’s head. Is he scared? Sometimes. Is he depressed? Only every second Sunday. Is he biased? Of course not. Does he feel a warm glow when the belligerent, moaning striker fires wide from six yards out? In short, he certainly does, and it’s often enough to make him want to show up again next weekend.
Yet no matter how poor the players and the leagues they grace, every single game tells its own story about the teams that play for fun, but never seem to be having any. About the average, the bad, the ugly, the hopeless and the sporadically unhinged. And how over the course of 90 fraught minutes, rage, deceit, scorn or even a spontaneous wave of hate-shattering laughter are never more than a blast of the whistle away.