Please Scream Quietly: A Story of Kink

by Julie L. Fennell

In Please Scream Quietly, professor and self-identified kinkster Julie Fennell offers an intimate, nuanced, and engaging portrayal of the lives and loves of a BDSM community. In this first-of-its-kind collective autobiography of the frequently misunderstood and often maligned BDSM subculture, Fennell’s insider perspective shows that while most people are a little bit kinky, the BDSM community teaches its members to emphasize and cherish their kinky differences. Drawing from interviews, survey data, and years of observations, Fennell showcases kinksters’ lives and loves in a captivating, vibrant, and authoritative story. She addresses questions such How do kinksters define their identities? How do BDSM community members construct socially meaningful identities for themselves? Are BDSM identities always experienced as sexual? How are kinky relationships and consensual nonmonogamy/polyamory experienced in the community? Fennell provides an unprecedented exploration of kinksters’ community group norms and rules, analyzing the demographics along with the behavioral and attitudinal norms in—and out—of BDSM dungeons. Fennell analyzes the multiple ways kinksters construct positive and negative social status, illustrating how the social world of kinksters is frequently quite different from outsiders’ perceptions of it.

Genres: Nonfiction

296 pages, Paperback

Published July 5, 2022

About the author

Julie Fennell has a PhD in Sociology and has written numerous books and articles about gender and sexuality. She also has two published fiction stories. To contact, please email juliefennellphd at gmail dot com.

Reviews

[Johanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a kink researcher myself, and having gone through a fair amount of research done about kink, I am happy to see kink research that 1) is done by an insider and 2) dares to criticize the scene as well. Also, there's a long history of attempting to portray kinksters as " just normal people like everyone else" (which I am guilty of, as well) so I enjoyed the book's notion of kinksters as selfproclaimed freaks! Often, when looking at kink scenes (and research about them) in different countries, they all seem pretty alike. Fennell, however, delved deeper into the nuances of the "Mid-Atlantic" scene and was able to portray aspects that show the differences as well. I believe this book to be the most thorough and nuanced depiction of a (pan-sexual) kink scene there is at this point in time.

The style of writing is a bit more casual than what is typical in academic writing and even ethnographies, so that probably makes this book accessible for folks outside academia and non-native English speakers, as well.

[Luis Almeida · Rating 4 out of 5]

Isto não é uma "story of kink" mas sim uma "story of The Scene". The Scene é uma subcultura que várias pessoas kinky se juntam e há toda uma comunidade para fazerem e aprenderem coisas kinky. Uma subcultura sobretudo pansexual, poly e pagã. A certa altura do livro começou a ser maçante a quantidade de informação CHATA que a autora dava sobre a subcultura. Apesar disso, fez investigação bastante interessante sobre as visões das pessoas nesta subcultura. Será BDSM inerentemente sexual? Será que o envolvimento nesta subcultura influencia a auto-estima? Qual é a visão das pessoas sobre kinks vs kinks nesta subcultura. Como esta investigação era qualitativa, a autora refere logo no inicio que desde há muitos anos que participa nesta subcultura e eu até apontei nas minhas notas o seguinte com um tom bastante negativo: "A própria autora admite na página 1 que faz parte da BDSM community e admite não ter a objetividade necessária." Comecei logo com uma má impressão dela mas honestamente, este suposto conflito de interesses que ela teria só ajudou na construção do livro e de toda a investigação. As escolhas das citações de várias entrevistas dela foram super bem escolhidas com citações bastante interessantes. Uma coisa que mudaria é que ela mete no ultimo capitulo, aquilo que deveria ser o primeiro ou o segundo, que são as regras e a convivência na "The Scene". As descrições e as imagens que ela projeta com as palavras ajudariam no "worldbuilding" no resto dos capítulos. Ela toca também em alguns tópicos sensíveis como a questão do género e a aceitação e as diferenças e indiferenças para o "mundo real", mas em outros como a questão socioeconómica e etnográfica, refere mas não expande. Também tenho de admitir, por consciência de um pouco de falta de objetividade nesta análise, que não o li sempre que queria já que o tinha de ler para uma cadeira e por isso estava com a preocupação do tempo e da data de entrega na cabeça. Por isso, nesta análise tentei pensar mais nas partes positivas do livro. Acho que o livro poderia ser um pouco mais resumido para o tópico que é, mas de resto, gostei do livro.

[Sandra]

My first sociology book read and I loved, loved, loved it!
Yes, this one is about a subculture that I have maybe romanticized via reading blogs and watching vlogs (well, not actually vlogs, but some youtube videos), so it interested me. But this book read like tales of "me and my friends did this and that" kind of human story, only it's "my [ridiculous number, I'm thinking 70, but I don't really rember] interviewees and another thousand questionnaire subjects did this and that". Which makes it both human and interesting, and believable, and generalizable (though the book makes it clear that what it describes is relevant to a specific timeframe (some 5 years or a bit more) and place.
Honestly, this book is making me want to read more sociology books though I'd not be too surprised if it turns out that I enjoyed this one so much because I like the authors writing style or subject matter more than I might others.

[Burekeater · Rating 3 out of 5]

J.Fennel writes a (very recent) history of kink that is however heavily relying on her personal experience of the Scene and on Fetlife (equivalent of Facebook for kinksters). Interesting if as e.g. European you are curious on what happens on the other side of the ocean but far from being an exhaustive story of kink. I find the lack of comparative approach with other "vanilla" communities of whatever nature in addressing some social issues connected to reputation and normative behaviour a weak point of the book, as many social dynamics are the same, and they have nothing to do with kink. This comment reflects my approach as researcher to similar topics on one side, and as shibari enthusiasts. It is however a very valuable reading and I strongly suggest the book to anyone interested and into kink.

[Ashley Floyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers a unique perspective on the kink community and “the Scene” specifically. This is a great read for anyone in the community or curious about getting involved. The sociological perspective offers a neat capturing of what exactly is involved in the Scene.