Wayfarer: Love, loss and life on Britain's ancient paths

by Phoebe Smith

A woman’s tale of the transformative power of walking on Britain’s ancient pilgrim paths.

Faced with turning 35 – and seeing friends settle down, get married, have kids – Phoebe Smith found herself ending a long‐term relationship, considering giving up her dream job and asking herself what actually is the point of… everything?

On an assignment to walk the most famous pilgrimage in the world – the Camino de Santiago, in northern Spain – Phoebe experiences a moment of self-discovery shared by many who travel these ancient trails. And so, having spent a lifetime in solo exploration of unfamiliar places, she suddenly resolved to return to her native Britain and follow in the footsteps of generations of saints (and sinners) in the hope of ‘finding herself’ once more and confronting the things that scared her the most.

But what is a pilgrimage? How do you become a pilgrim? Why are so many people undertaking them now? And how do you know what you are seeking? These are the questions Phoebe grapples with as she undertakes a series of journeys – some familiar and some little-known – the length and breadth of the British Isles.

Along the way she contemplates love and loss in her life, the role of contemplation and silence in pilgrimage, and the sudden camaraderie shared endeavour brings. Until, high on a windswept cliff, she arrives at an epiphany: the ending of one trail is always the start of another.

Genres: Nonfiction, Travel, Biography, Audiobook, Memoir, Ebooks, Nature

309 pages, Hardcover

First published March 28, 2024

About the author

Phoebe Smith is an adventurer, presenter, broadcaster, author, photographer, speaker and podcast host.
She is an award-winning travel writer, photographer, presenter and broadcaster (specialising in adventure, sustainable travel, walking, solo travel, family adventure and wildlife conservation). She is host of the multi-award-winning Wander Woman Podcast an audio travel magazine. She regularly writes for The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times (of London) and is a correspondent for BBC Radio 4’s From Our Own Correspondent.
She is also Sleep Storyteller-in-Residence at Calm where her stories have been listened to over 30 million times and been narrated by Stephen Fry, Joanna Lumley, Cillian Murphy, Jerome Flynn, Bindi Irwin and Danai Gurira to name a few.
She is co-founder and trustee of the #WeTwo Foundation a charity which empowers underprivileged young people and their local communities through conservation initiatives and life-changing expeditions.
She the first person to camp at all the extreme points of mainland Britain, solo, on consecutive nights, has slept the 3 Peaks and walked across Britain, sleeping rough while dressed as Wander Woman raising over £42,000 for homeless young people.

Reviews

[Ms6282 Slater · Rating 2 out of 5]

I should have read the subtitle and blurb. I was expecting an account of experiences walking the Pilgrimage routes. Although the book was structured around them it was really an account of the authors unsatisfactory unhappy love life with unsuitable men and difficult familial relationships, wrapped around minimal desription of the routes, most of which she didn’t complete. OK if you like that sort of thing I suppose but not one for me.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really spoke to me, as it meandered from pilgrims’ paths (that I’m slightly obsessed with) to grief, trauma, family, not-so-great relationship experiences, nature, anecdotes about saints, and setting personal challenges.

I enjoyed the audiobook, narrated by the author.

[georgie_porgie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really not sure what the author thought readers would make of this one. Seeing as the author is a FEMALE TRAVEL WRITER, I'd assume she'd be fairly aware that her targeted demographic (i.e. the people who might unfortunately pick up her book) would be... oh! WOMEN INTERESTED IN TRAVEL. And yet...

The author spends half the book slagging off the entire female population! My favourite extract (for sheer ridiculousness):

"To this day most of my closest friends are men. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I grew up with an older brother and his friends were there so often that I never saw boys as an 'us and them' binary. Perhaps it's because I didn't enjoy the kind of things I was expected to do with girls - shopping, applying make-up, getting excited about cupcakes - and the activities I love to do (hiking, camping, kayaking) are seen as much less feminine and attract more men than women. Or maybe it's because I've always been more of a straight talker, I say things as I see them, and most of the other women I know don't seem to like that quality in another woman. In any case, I've always found relationships with women more tricky, more multi-layered."

Also, WHAT is that line about women getting excited about cupcakes?? Where has that come from!!

Please, someone tell me, what is Phoebe Smith's problem? For a book centred around pilgrimage - and thus, spirituality, true self, etc. etc., - she's hardly what I'd call enlightened. She criticises women at every turn and, several times, massively generalises them. She insists on putting half the world population in this little tiny box and throwing it off the edge of a cliff to reinforce gender stereotypes. All this is done with the goal of distinguishing herself as special. It all felt very 'pick-me' girl, and was honestly infuriating.

Anyway, to begin with I thought I just didn't enjoy her writing. Bad editing, zero transitions between memories and present events, and her descriptions of pilgrim trails read as lifted Wikipedia entries. She also insisted on carrying through a crappy metaphor about losing her voice because she was in a band as a teenage all the way through the book - "the singer who cannot sing". Please stop.

But as I continued (heroically) on, I realised: nope. I also dislike her. As a person. Which I really wasn't sure about mentioning, but she recounts literally everything that has happened to her as some massive - and unfailingly unique - trauma. Goes as far as to say the universe had "conspired" to overshadow her mother's death with 9/11. Seriously, I'm not kidding. And the birth of her baby with the coronavirus pandemic. And honestly, I'm sure they were both difficult times, but pull your head out of your arse there, girl. Not only that, you've just spent half the book slagging off other women (and KNOWINGLY getting it off with their partners), saying how all the men crowded around you at a wedding because the women were only capable of talking about breastfeeding and nappies. And then you get accidentally pregnant and suddenly you find that behaviour acceptable.

So essentially, the author shows zero empathy or interest in anyone's issues, but doesn't understand why nobody is bending over backwards when she runs into (mainly self-inflicted) difficulties. Also STOP SAYING EVERYONE ABANDONS YOU. At points, she was even claiming friends had abandoned her by letting HER drift away from the friendship.

To summarise the book: nothing is Phoebe Smith's fault (ever) and everything is tougher for her. She also made a point of comparing herself to others at every step, to highlight her uniqueness.

Two stars instead of one as, by the end, I'd decided the book was satire (noone could possibly be this self-obsessed and self-pitying), which made the whole ordeal a lot more enjoyable.

[Claire O'Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this

[Wendy Dalton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audio book read by the author was well written, down to earth, as the author looked into her inner self after doing the Camino de Santiago and reviewed her life as she knew it. Another great read of love and loss and life changing experiences.

[Joanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this is a bit of a disappointment. I read nature books for the nature which this book lacks. The author had chosen various routes and the detail she went into was on a Wikipedia level. This is not a deep dive into history. Her own personal story was of little interest to me.

[Andrew Macfarlane · Rating 1 out of 5]

Phoebe Smith is a writer, presenter and adventurer and things just happen to her. For the record, the abusive and coercive relationships she finds herself in are NOT her fault. All abusive and coercive relationships are a fault solely of the disgusting people who make them such and who collectively don't deserve to breath oxygen or wear a skin. Her propensity  for winding up in them is just concerningly common. Now, the relationships with either parent, with her friends, her ex-colleagues or the accident she has cycling are.....not her fault. It's worth saying this because the frequency with which things happen to her and the increasing haplessness start to take over the reader. Like several who have posted reviews, I came to the book thinking it might actually be about pilgrimages. Very soon I lost that realisation and stop wondering about the next stage of a trek and just think when I see a break in the page, “oh hell, what's happened now!”It really is all about Phoebe.

At one point she has started a flirtation with someone she has met a few times.Unlike the more discernible abusive partners, or the one she just got bored with and dumped, this potential Beau is accorded a nickname,: A veneer of anonymity  but distinctenough to make him in all probability recognisable to anyone who has ever knownthe writer. She is travelling to the Highlands and the text message conversation is getting flirtatious. Then a picture of his Hampton comes through the ether. The klaxons Are mercifully sounding in her head. When the request for a nude picture of her in return, follows, the entire readership of the book is screaming “don't be daft. Say no and drop him like a stone”.....of course she does send a picture and he turns out to be a wrong ‘un. Unlike most of the adult population of Britain she doesn't choose to rationalise her luck by bullying a GP to give her a diagnosis of something like undiagnosed ADHD to explain her own character traits or lack ofgetting to where she believes she deserves to be in life. However like many of the remainder she never honestly reevaluates herself and goes to see a therapist to work out why everyone else is bad. At one point she is told by a therapist, “you were abandoned by your parents, abandoned by your partners, abandoned by your friends……” Hang on, she abandoned her friends! The therapist goes on, because you abandoned them and they never fought back….basically it is never ever her fault.

I am glad things have turned out right for her but my god it took a lot of reading and a lot of interest to cometo that, and I still couldn't tell where exactly she went in the Highlands.

[Bea · Rating 1 out of 5]

A struggle to get through. The writing is good and engaging when focused on the "pilgrimage" experience, walks, historical context. Unfortunately it's interspersed with personal life musings that are trite at best, and infuriating at worst; endless repetitions of the fact that she left her partner and lost her job, and her life is "out of control" - and made it impossible to get into the rhythm of the travel writing parts. How grief is explored falls in between, sometimes deeply touching, and other times completely devoid of personal voice and falling into basic cliché.

The bits that annoyed me the most were sweeping - and honestly, lazy - characterizations of women in particular as a way of constructing her own identity. They made her deeply unsympathetic and lacking self-awareness.

Example:
"To this day most of my closest friends are men. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I grew up with an older brother and his friends were there so often that I never saw boys as an "us and them" binary. Perhaps it's because I didn't enjoy the kind of things I was expected to do with girls - shopping, applying makeup-up, getting excited about cupcakes - and the activities I love to do (hiking, camping, kayaking) are seen as much less feminine and attract more men than women. Or maybe it's because I've always been more of a straight talker, I see things as I see them, and most of the other women I know don't seem to like that quality in another woman. In any case, I've always found relationships with women more tricky, more multi-layered."

[Katie Watson · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

A very honest biography touching on loss and grief, painful / abusive relationships and the power of the great outdoors.

Because of my own experiences and the reference in the blurb, I was hoping for more expansion on the writers experience of living with and recovering from an eating disorder.

It was inspirational in the sense it made me want to put my boots on and find my nearest pilgrimage..
But the book also made me sad and contemplative. It felt like I was reading a personal journal at times, but I suppose that's the art of a talented writer? It was a moving read.

I wish we got to experience a whole pilgrimage with the writer. I finished the book and learned a lot of history and ideas for new walks, but wouldn't know what hikes or walks to go on as it didn't feel like any of the journeys were completed? We just get snippets of lots of different places and adventures.

The last quarter of the book was my favourite. The book does end with feelings of hope, encouragement, and strength. It was definitely a journey, I'm glad I read it, but not one I'd be in a rush to read again or widely recommend unless I knew someone really wanted to learn about pilgrimage.

I admire Phoebe, her strength and power at just sticking with it and sheer resilience. She is a talented writer and I'll look out for pieces about her adventures in the future.

[Chris Doran · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like and search out books where the main character/voice is travelling around this country. This is a journal about a very personal journey where Phoebe Smith reveals her anxieties, emotional and psychological inhibitions and motivations, aspects of which many will identify with and probably the best writing about co-addictive behaviour that I’ve read.
The jumping back and forth in time and from place to place was a little confusing, and perhaps just too many place names to keep up with (I should have had a detailed map alongside) but if you just go with the flow there is much to consider and be inspired by. Ms Smith is an impressive woman in many ways and you finish the book by sincerely wishing her well.

[Juliet Levy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not what I had been expecting, with very little detail of the ancient paths, but I didn't mind when the book turned into something different. The writing is good - short, pithy sentences - and the action moves on quickly from place to place. Some might say "too quickly", but I didn't mind. I guess that a professional editor wielded a knife judiciously. We can be grateful that they did, I suspect.

I had hoped to get some tips of walks to do and places to visit, and I did. I hope to visit at least one of the holy wells that feature in the book.

An interesting and worthy addition to a growing genre of writing. But if you are looking for a guide to pilgrim walks, I recommend Andy Bull.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

An autobiographical journey round one woman's life as a walker of pilgrimage paths or trails, mostly in the UK.

Along the way, there's a lot about the author's generally unsuitable relationships with men and the loss of her mother. Leaving home young, she has struggled to make her own headway and get settled.

there are some good comments about relationships of all sorts and the way life unfolds as you age. In that sense, it's interesting read.

There is surprisingly little about the trails she walks but much about her emotional landscape and her trail through those trails

A 4-star read. It grew on me!

[Alice Southwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully honest and deeply personal account of Phoebe Smith’s journey through loss, change, and self-discovery. While the historical aspects of pilgrimage didn’t captivate me as much, I was drawn to her raw reflections on grief, mental health, and the healing power of walking. Her openness about her struggles made this book both moving and relatable, and I appreciated the way she found meaning in the journey itself. A compelling read for anyone who connects with the idea of walking as a path to self-understanding.

[Tay · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely memoir that gave me plenty of the feels I expected - outdoorsy vibes, deep reflections and some spiritual commentary. Well written and at times very moving (bring on more teary moments in coffee shops). I struggled somewhat with relationships being such a focal point, especially with the ending where her relationship was presented as the ‘pinnacle’ of contentment. The author and I come to vastly different conclusions on faith so I found this aspect a bit lacking, though understandable and still enjoyable!

[Alex Baines · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard Phoebe on the radio one chilly morning talking about this book and her experience walking part of the Camino which I want to do....

...What surprised me was Phoebe's ability to reflect and the moments she discussed reminded me of my own travels across the UK and even the Sahara, yet, I was most reminded of the incredible people I've met on these travels...

With the fun facts and history trivia it was enjoyable to understand that pilgrimages are not necessarily religious but about slowing down as we all take pilgrimages differently...

[Bethan · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 I enjoyed this book, it was well written, but I felt as though i were reading someone’s diary. So much nature writing seems interspersed with the confesional but then the “lesson” they seem obliged to end with feels a bit trite (The Outrun, The Stopping Places). Somehow they all feel a bit insubstantial and bitty, like paragraphs of guidebooks. I’m not sure what more I want but I’ll know when I read it! Of this genre I think so far I’ve enjoyed May’s Wintering the best.

[Susan Stirzaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written - an unusual pilgrimage

A very interesting book about one young woman’s journey through her life, interweaving with walks along pilgrimage trails.
Not at all religious, but full of expertly written descriptions of nature and historical facts about landmarks and areas along the journey.
Quite a revelation to me that pilgrimages are so numerous and can be undertaken for a variety of reasons - very inspiring.

[Cassie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the parts of Wayfarer that focused on Britain’s pilgrim routes - the walking, the landscapes, and the sense of place - but the balance of the book didn’t work for me overall.

There’s a heavy emphasis on the author’s unhappy romantic and family relationships, which often overshadow the journeys themselves. Combined with a choppy structure that moves back and forth, it made the reading experience feel uneven.

An interesting idea, but not as satisfying as I’d hoped.

[Ruth Kenyon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phoebe Smith has spent her life as a travel writer, exploring the world, going to far off places and often going off-grid. Personal circumstances and Covid mean she has to look for walks closer to home. She does a lot of self reflection while following old and new pilgrim paths in the UK. This read to me as a little like The Outrun without the alcohol.

[D'face · Rating 4 out of 5]

A mixture of pilgrimage and reflection on a series of disastrous relationships. Phoebe Smith walks a number of pilgrim routes in the UK and interspersed throughout are insights into her relationships with abusive boyfriends, her mother who died young and a father who was not as available as she would have liked. Vulnerable and courageous writing and have ventures along into wild camping.

[Duncan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Falls somewhere between a 3 and a 4 star review for me. I enjoyed the simplicity and honesty of the author, though I found the stream of notes some from the paths she trod, some from personal life rather distracting. It’s not a light book, though it’s certainly one that has come from a genuine place.

[Luana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book, and at first I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, however I found it refreshingly open & honest. It was an interesting and enjoyable (though hard and heat breaking at times) read.

[Megan Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had hoped for more about the Pilgrim paths but this book was equal parts just life memoir and history’s of saints lives who were around the pilgrim Paths. It did make me want to complete one so I guess that did succeed !

[T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Starts with the Camino de Santiago and moves to mini-pilgrimages around the UK. Deep dives into personal issues. FT's best Travel 2024.

Gloucestershire library

[Carys · Rating 5 out of 5]

The honest realities of life has encouraged me, in my walking and exploring.

[Caroline Priddle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love a book about walking. I loved this one for the life story. I wasn’t interested in the history or religion but some people would be. The author’s story made it for me.

[Stephen Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

honest and beautifully written, an enjoyable read.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although this book has made me want to go on a pilgrimage of my own, it is about so much more than simply going for a walk. This is a beautiful book and well worth taking the time to read.

[Shereen]

DNF

[Jodi Holliday · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, heartbreaking but hopeful.