Freedom at Last: Healing the Shame of Childhood Sexual Abuse

by Beverly Engel, Senn Annis (Narrator)

Childhood sexual abuse (or child sexual abuse/CSA) is not only an assault on the body--it is an assault on the mind and on the spirit. It is an insult to the victim's integrity, her self-esteem, his very being. Besides imposing a significantly higher risk of conditions like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), sexual exploitation, intimate partner violence, suicidality, substance abuse, and learning & educational difficulties, the most devastating consequence of childhood sexual abuse is shame. Freedom at Last will help victims of this form of abuse recover from all aspects of this extreme shame and its damaging after-effects. Not only does shame from CSA cause a multitude of problems, but this very same shame stands in the way of a victim's ability to recover and heal. Victims often struggle with shame's correlation with dissociation, difficulty forming relationships, emotional barriers to disclosing abuse and seeking help, and a lasting negative effect on victim's sense of self. In this groundbreaking book, leading psychologist Dr. Beverly Engel reveals the truth about how CSA affects victims, dispels common myths surrounding this type of abuse, explains the nuances behind the emotion of shame, and teaches readers how to develop more self-awareness about how shame has manifested in their lives along with powerful and effective shame-reduction strategies. Freedom at Last offers effective strategies for not only healing the negative effects of abuse-related shame, but also to help overcome the shame that keeps survivors from seeking help. Using the most recent research along with her 35-year career working with victims of child sexual abuse, Dr. Engel provides a blueprint for readers and their loved ones to overcome the debilitating effects of shame, including strategies for emotional release, encouragement to free themselves from their secrets, teaching self-forgiveness, eliminating shame-causing behaviors, and removing shame from unhealthy behaviors and attitudes.

Genres: Nonfiction

Audiobook

Published December 15, 2022

About the author

Beverly Engel has been a psychotherapist for thirty years, specializing in the areas of abuse recovery, relationships, women’s issues and sexuality. She is also the best-selling author of 20 self-help books, many of which have been featured on national television and radio programs (Oprah, CNN, Ricki Lake, Starting Over) as well as national print media (O Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Psychology Today, The Washington Post, The LA Times, and The Chicago Tribune to name a few).

She is considered one of the world’s leading experts on the issue of emotional abuse, as well as a pioneer on the issue, having written one of the first recovery books on the subject (The Emotionally Abused Woman).

Reviews

[Morgan Blackledge · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good (if it times a little awkward) self help book for childhood sexual abuse (CSA) survivors.

I found the first chapter a little offputting because the author referred to their proprietary program for CSA recovery about 77 times. I almost didn’t continue, but I’m really glad I did. The rest of the book was highly informative, and helpful.

Although the book is full of really important and clarifying information. The most important take away (in my humble opinion) is that CSA can leave survivors with a pervasive sense of THREAT and SHAME at the very core of their being.

The bottom line is, we don’t have to live like that.

We can recover.

Learning about CSA and it’s aftermath enables survivors to (a) understand their feelings, (b) meet their emotional needs, (c) share their experience strength and hope, and as such (b) become unburdened. Free to live in your authentic truth.

This book is a flawed but a still VERY good step on that journey. If you or a loved one suffer in the shadow of CSA. This will be a great way to embark on your healing journey.

4/5 stars ⭐️

NOTE: approximately 1 in 6 men have experienced CSA. If you’re a male CSA survivor, this would not be the book I would start with. Instead, I recommend:

Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse by Richard B. Gartner. Read my review of it here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8...

I also recommend:

Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development by Douglas Carpenter. Read my review of it here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6...

Given that. Once you have read those. This title will be a great next step on the recovery journey.

[L.E. Heron · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this text would work well as a "main" workbook for survivors of child sexual abuse (CSA), and could be appropriate for working with or without the support of a therapist. The information sections of the chapters are well-written and illuminating, and with each chapter the exercises become progressively more challenging, so I felt it was structured in an appropriate way.

My reason for not being fully on board is that many of the exercises feel impossible, yet are delivered with a kind of glib encouragement to just get on with it, for example, just like, list every part of your body you don't want to be touched during sex, then communicate that to your partner, and have sex, and then assumedly self-soothe with a hot bath after. I mean... yes? but also... these tasks are so daunting and enormous and terrifying that it's not like jumping from a to b to c... these are each individual mountains to scale, and the shame of each element is so all-consuming that it feels almost cruel to just smile and see readers off with a cheery 'good luck, lady, enjoy all that sweet sweet sex' when the whole point is that I'm reading the book to get some advice on what to do between those a, b, c points... how to scale those mountains, not just die of oxygen deprivation or get my skull smashed in tumbling down into the rocky crevasse, you know?

I'm hearing my therapist now like 'hm, Lily, now I don't mean to sound condescending, but do you know what might have triggered you?' so yes, ultimately it's a triggering book, and to be fair the author does make that very clear at the start. I don't blame her, I blame my rapists (y)

[Parul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accurate title! I loved this book. Helped me heal, got me through the thick of healing. An Excellent resource.

[Srk001 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rounded up. Incredibly difficult, but important book. I hope the few ratings and reviews do not reflect the number of people that have actually read this book, but instead show that people like to keep this private. I hope this book has helped, and will continue to help many victims, of which there are sadly, and horrifyingly, a lot.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was painful to get through. I did take my time. Definitely a must read for anyone struggling with this. The author brought things to light in a new way and kinda wasn’t ready for it.