David Ambroz is a great writer and storyteller, but he was also a child who grew up in poverty, experiencing the additional traumas of homelessness, abuse, and foster care. He tells his story from the lens of a child who felt the weight of trying to keep his depressed and delusional mom stable and his family safe, together, and fed. He was constantly in survival mode and experiencing things no child should. His story was heartbreaking, but also hopeful. I loved his courage, grit, and the grace he offered to others. I appreciated the insightful perspective and the expanded understanding I gained from hearing his story, and I hope many people read this book and feel inspired to act.
Some favorite quotes:
-“I want to be part of his life, to be his child, to be him, to be blissfully unaware of the luxury of a warm taxi.”
-“On the fringes of this shiny holiday wonderland, in the dark alcoves and corners of the night, are people like us, passing like ghosts around and through the bright clean tourists. We drift in circles making our home everywhere and nowhere. We hunker down in the colorless crevices of the city in the gray shadows of gray buildings where the gray snow is piled. We are gray people fading to nothing.”
-“There is something absent in mom’s love for us.”
-“This is the line my mother has always walked: she protects us and hurts us; she provides and deprives; we survive beside her, despite her, and because of her.”
-“In these moments I am proud of myself and my family in spite of our circumstances. I know we can survive anything and I see us as champions. When one trauma recedes, another rolls in, and often there is a relentless sea of adversity to overcome that leaves marks, both physical and psychological scars. But my anchors are Alex and Jessica. And mom’s love, though constant and unreliable, is real. I don’t know where we’ll end up next, but when the daily burdens bear down on me, these moments lift me back to the surface where I can breath enough to kick forward and push my way toward a distant shore, a better place than this.”
-“Woven into that effort was the conscious decision not to hold her accountable for her disease. It was hard to keep this conviction sometimes. When she put herself and others in danger, I had to remind myself that it wasn’t her fault. Knowing that allowed me to understand her, forgive her, love her, and accept the love that she was able to offer. If I blamed her for all of it I would have lost myself in that hatred. To this day I have to remind myself that she wronged me, but she’s not culpable. I wanted and still pray more than anything to be able to reach into her mind and quiet the voices, to meet and love the woman that they destroyed.”
-“Poverty is never about the future. The poor are consumed with the now, as they must be to survive.”