The Men In My Life

by Garth Simmons

“The men in your life will shape you.”
That’s what Grandma Shedlocker told her.
“Be normal, keep your head down, don’t let anyone think you’re weird.”
That’s what Rachel told her about how NOT to get killed.
So she tried to fit in – guess what? It didn't work.
So she tried to escape – guess what? Nowhere to go.
So she tried to fit in again. No chance.
Real people can't fake it.
So.
Time for decisive action.
Time to take the offensive.
Time to make some changes.
Is it hopeless? Maybe... but whatever happens she's still the best artist you’ll ever meet.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Romance, Literary Fiction, Humor, Adult

506 pages, Paperback

First published July 18, 2022

About the author

Tragically born in Crumlish and sadly living in Mammingham; Garth is a multimedia polymath.

Reviews

[Laura Brower · Rating 5 out of 5]

All in all a very odd, long and funny book, almost like a kind of 500 page experimental domestic epic, it's very hard to sum up everything that happens in it, as it's often taking the banal and boring and making it intensely funny or traumatic. I guess in terms of trigger warnings I'd say there's some emotional abuse, poverty, and lots of lovely misandry.

There's something almost like a working-class Dostoevsky feel to two opening chapter of this, like Notes from the Underground but written by a fourteen-year-old girl, and it's curious way to start a book, writing about someone who can't get out of bed, it's almost counter-intuitive, but it's one of the funniest and truest depictions of depression I can recall, and allowed me to sympathise with the MC until (SPOILERS) I eventually I realized she's not a very nice person... and then despite that I still liked her anyway, even if she is a stalker and liar (sometimes), because her version of events are what's important in her own story and the forging of her identity, and she's coping with a bad break-up with a guy who wasn't ever truly interested in her anyway. I think what's interesting is that unlike many unreliable narrators it's not done in some overly meta-way where the MC is turning around to the reader and winking. This feels more raw and uncalculated, and strangely not abhorrent, and the traumas she suffers don't feel like they're going for absolute shock value, many of them are mundane, and when they do sometimes slip into shock value there's almost an absurdist comic strip humour that shaves off the unpleasant edges.

It's difficult to cover everything that happens in it, with or without spoilers, but considering it's length it never felt like it was dragging, and gave me belly laughs and winces of disgust.

[Angie Dutton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Felt like watching a TV show rather than reading a book. Like The Wonder Years if it were narrated by a cynical teenager instead of a sweet old man. Veers from being hilarious to disgusting to outright moving. Has the immediate prose style but told in a slightly off-kilter, non-linear fashion... at least three times the emotional resonance hit a heart-breaking note which made me put the book down for the rest of the day, only to pick it up again the day after and be thrust into a much happier place, only for it to collapse again, while laughing at the sharp dialogue and sneering and soul-searching inner monologs.

[Ebony Earwig · Rating 5 out of 5]

An uncanny fluidity to the prose making large chunks of it readable in one sitting, and an abhorrently loveable narrator who is using the written word in order to establish her persona and her truth, but ultimately telling a story that might be further from the truth, as she lampshades some of her more negative traits (such as stalking) and vilifies everyone who she thinks is lame or sleazy, sometimes it's justifiable, sometimes not, but always very funny even in the more gross-out moments.

[Billie Tyrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can tell this is the first novel by someone who previously wrote flash fiction, despite having long chapters of 10-30 pages the book feels like it's made up of intertwining sketches. There are sections about identity, patriarchy, post-industrialisation, toxic masculinity, annoying hipsters, the Third Reich, experimental art, the problems with children accessing the internet, pre-Stone age cultures, all interrupting/assisting Sarah in constructing her unpredictable narrative. I'm exaggerating but felt like every page had someone shouting "FUCK OFF!", and usually it would be the main character at whatever douchebag is trying to feel her up. Definitely quite a wild ride, with the mundane setting of Crumlish and its surrounding suburbs it achieves something of a domestic epic. My rating is teetering somewhere between 4 and 5 stars, as it feels unfocused and in need of more paragraph breaks, but after 500 pages I still had a feeling of "I'll miss this uncouth weirdo ranting in my ear".

[Linda Galella · Rating 2 out of 5]

If I hadn’t won this in a GoodReads GiveAway, it would have been a DNF, for sure; not sure how I entered this one, smh…


THE MEN IN MY LIFE, by Garth Simmons, is 445 pages of teenage stream of consciousness. Unfortunately, that stream is so polluted it cannot flow. Sarah, the MC, is most likely on the spectrum. She’s artistic, suffers from abysmal parenting, possibly abuse and has had nothing but negative experiences with boys/men; sexual or otherwise. Her emotions ping pong from moment to moment and so does the writing; non-stop for 445 pages. It’s exhausting.

Because the character has no boundaries, neither does the author. This book is not appropriate for neurodivergent teenagers, IMO. The language is foul, her escapades are for much older young adults - weren’t there any adults in this child’s life to provide guidance? Not even a little? The nonsense at the ending is a total joke.

I was raised by an abusive, emotionally barren mother. To put it bluntly, my childhood was a nightmare. Even in midst of all that was horrific, there were beacons of light from adults on the periphery; a tiny bit of balance and guidance, hope, if you will. That is what is missing from this book - balance.

You might read the ending as positive but did you find any reason for hope? Read any place where Sarah appears to have learned or grown from her experiences? Sarah’s off to University. If she writes a book about it, I’m not going to be a reviewer📚

Read and Reviewed from GoodReads eARC, with thanks

[Garth Simmons · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Author review)

The 2nd book written by me, and a full novel this time, with a protagonist and everything that novels have.

I suppose it would be a bit daft of me to give it anything less than five stars... but it is really, really good and throws everything I've done before into the shade, and possibly everything I'll do in future too. Certainly worth picking up, though obviously I would say that.

[Cass 🌻 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book SO much. What an odd and fun, yet tragic ride that was.

[Ari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Frustrating read!!!!!!!!! LOVED

[John Ferngrove · Rating 4 out of 5]

Warning: contains foul language and discriminatory attitudes, implicit and explicit, towards all minorities from the first sentence onwards.

I really loved Garth Simmon's previous Hole Punch. As a viciously satirical supercluster of SciFi micro-narratives it captured perfectly the accelerating madness of the times we find ourselves living in. This latest book lacks the SciFi scope and focusses on the travails of an oddball teenage girl who is terminally disaffected with the world around her, and the people, particularly the men, within it. The plot in this book is much more linear and builds nicely to a highly qualified, coming of age happy ending in which Sarah strikes out alone, emancipated from all the creeps and morons that have tried to 'shape' her existence, and more intent than ever on creating art that is 'real.

There is lots that is funny, and moments that are unexpectedly moving. But the shear unrelenting negativity of the leading female teenage character, and the casual manipulativeness of her male significant others leads a 64 year old male like me to wonder if anyone could be quite so damaged and still be able to function. I'm a deeply and healthily cynical person, but there is some tiny part of me that recalls we at least have to try and see some bits of good in the world around us. Foolish I know. But it's that little voice that is forcing me to deduct one star from this rabidly splenetic tale, if not least from fear of damage to the yet unformed minds of younger readers.

I, for one, will be hoping for a return to SciFi form on Garth Simmon's next searing commentary on our ponderously collapsing civilisation.

[MarcusMeltdown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took a plunge on this one, like most books put out by Sweat Drenched Press that I had sent to me to review (I am a very slow reader, and even slower reviewer, so apologies to SDP hombres) as they publish stuff that I never knew existed in literature... weird, dense, playful experimental-MENTAL stuff... maybe that shows me up, as a not-so-well-read-pleb, but, then again, I don't care.

What is so grand about these small presses is they offer works the mainstream would never entertain, let alone actually attempt to read.

This book is a special one, a book, like most works published by SDP, that is uncategorizable. The book is reminiscent to so many books of its ilk, and this for me reads like all good teen-fic, only with a Melvin Burgess slimy, dirty layer.

To me, this book is enlightening to where the written word can take you, and is a breath of fresh fucking air. The layers of this teen angsty drama, comedy is very particular, detailed, and in so many ways, outside of its long length, it is epic in scope. Linear storytelling is my bag, and often non-linear can be neat, and experiential, but, though linear this book has a whacky-vim and energy, with a wayward heart to it.

I really enjoyed this thick book. Garth is a very skilled writer, and I especially enjoyed his dialogue in this book. Go buy a copy. It is relatable, grunge, and honest. I like an honest book and portrayal of society in my fiction.

[mkfs · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know which 19-year old girl Garth Simmons stole this diary from, but she's great.

[Maria Fledgling Author Park · Rating 4 out of 5]

Journey through an English Teenager's Life

The Men in my Life by Garth Simmons is a book I won in a GoodReads Giveaway. I struggled to get through the book for a number of reasons. Firstly, I'm an American, and trying to put myself in the shoes of an adolescent English, working class teenager, was more than a bit of a stretch. Cultural norms seem so far apart from what I knew growing up, I believe it interfered in my understanding the main character, Sarah.

Secondly, sex, sexual imagery, sexual language and sexual abuse literally made up most of the background, content and theme of the book. I found this disturbing and traumatic to experience, although it was clearly the author's intent as a means to character development.

Finally, there is a pervasive despair woven into the dialogue Sarah has with herself and others. Her hometown, Crummlish, is a post-industrial community trying to recover from being a coal mine boomtown. Sarah's friends have little to hope for for the future.

All of that said, Garth Simmons manages to make sense of Sarah's early teens, allowing her to grow through severe challenges to come to an equilibrium with her feelings and begin to make healthy choices.

I admire the "reality" of this story. Being real is very important to Sarah and, obviously, is also to the author. Perhaps those very things I list as things I struggled with are also those things which make The Men in my Life a real story. I'll leave it up to you to decide for yourself.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

“So enough of them. Enough of the men in my life.”

Idk this was an odd one. It brought me back to a younger time, and it was sad and silly and immature but also so relatable. We all have had good and bad men in our lives, and it kind of hurt reliving some of the experiences with the bad men. Idk, it’s an artistic book and therefore sort of disjointed but it made sense. It read kind of like a TV show too.

[Peter Humphreys · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very funny, moving and irreverent first novel from Garth Simmons, whose gifts with language and impossible-to-second-guess imagination are already writ large in his uniquely brilliant short story collection, Hole Punch. Ushered urgently into the world of Sarah, the book’s defiant teenage narrator, as she finds her feet in and away from her hometown of Crumlish, the reader is invited to suck on a slice of UK life both thumpingly familiar and distinctly odd: a place of borderline poverty, prostitution and self-aggrandising indie bands, but also of Stetson-wearing uncles, artistic experiments and talking cats. Among Simmons’ finest achievements, for this reader, is creating a narrator in Sarah who is equal parts cynical and sensitive – by telling ‘her’ story she’s able to retain control, and stay in the moment, and that means you’re just as likely to be slagged off as the characters she’s writing about, whether that’s Squiggle, Kevin, Mark, or any of the other men who try to shape her life. The book works as a paean to writing, and the writing as a testament to a young life lived in circumstances that vary from terrifying to comic to mundane and back again, told with empathy and wit by the author.

[jordanlikesworms · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is this scene in the movie Eighth Grade where Kayla is in class and the boy she has a crush on is walking past her to the front of the room. As her crush walks past her, it switches to slow motion and the flat sodden slap of his flip flops against his feet captures early 2000’s teenager-hood in a way that I feel personally victimized by. He flips his hair and we understand that this is meant to be sexy but it is only hilarious and uncomfortable. The scene speeds up again and we move on to the rest of the movie.

Nothing has ever captured (for me) both the feeling of being thirteen and the feeling of observing the memory of being thirteen as well as that scene.

This book is like that. It is painful to read. It is hilarious to read. I hate it. I love it. It hurts.

[Loi Shah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book profusely. It felt super teen-y and weird. I liked it a lot a lot, very funny at times, kinda sad at other times.
Really was "The Men In My Life"

[Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The shortest 500 page book I've ever read, both because of the fluidity of the storytelling and the small amount of text on each page. I think the combination of format and style caused me to read this as more of a play, which, to the author's credit, made for a more immersive reading experience. The characters felt real even if we couldn't really trust everything we learned about them. I could think of analogues from my life for nearly every character in this book, for better and for worse. Many of the situations rang familiar, but that's not to say this is mundane "slice of life" reading.

The language is raw and the whole feel of it is - don't tell Sarah I said this - punk. It's uneven but engaging. I read about 100 pages at a time and didn't feel too exhausted, although the main character and her men can have that effect. Some parts of this were 2 stars and others were 4. There are a couple solid laughs in here. Sarah's rant about funk music made me laugh the hardest, but like most of her rants she takes it one step too far, into the judgemental-cynicverse.

In a way, this book is hollow and maybe too self aware. Daniel's critique of Sarah's manuscript being unhealthy is a fair point but also, delving into one's trauma is like exposure therapy and its her right to feel it. That's art. Am I contradicting myself here? Probably. That's how this whole read felt. The repetition was a bit much. Like banging your head against a wall to remember how it smarts. Like pulling the trigger on a trauma gun loaded with blanks. Still, I couldn't put it down.

One nitpick was the number of missing words and mistakes. There were about 6 obvious ones and maybe 2 that could be explained by British English, but this sentence was the most broken:

"I guess you want to know why Mark hit got round the head hit with the blunt end of a hatchet." What?

Would I recommend it? I wouldn't not recommend it. ⭐⭐⭐

[Nicole Adkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Bit Weird, But in a Good Way.

This is the first book by author Garth Simmons, I have read. The writing style is different from what I’m used to. It’s all from the FMC, Sarah’s POV, like a memoir of sorts, but also written kind of like a screenplay. The wording and flow of the book gives a disjointed & youthful feel, which works well since she’s young.

I don’t know how to review this book exactly. There is so much going on and it’s back and forth with the timeline. Sarah can hear her cat’s thoughts, as well as remembers her own birth?!…??? This girl suffers from depression, is likely neurodivergent, is cynical about everyone and everything and full of teenage snark. Plus there is a cultural divide since I’m from the US, so I don’t know if that hinders my senses and ability to fully understand/grasp this book in its entirety.

Sarah talks about and creates visual mixed media art throughout the book. You think it’s about her becoming an artist, but really this story from her perspective, is the true art she creates. It took me about halfway through the book to realize this. It’s her understanding of the world that she was raised in. The absurdity and childlike humorous bits throughout the storyline paints quite the abstract picture. To me, this screenplay was an excellent portrayal of Sarah’s art.

Would I recommend this book? If you enjoy books written as a screenplay and from the quirky perspective of a jaded youth, then you’d probably like it. As I stated above, the writing style isn’t what I’m used to, but overall the book was interesting.

** I did win a copy of this book as part of a Goodreads Giveaway. This is my honest opinion/review.

[Rohan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was recommended to me by @Billie
I finally got round to reading it after I saw it on KU
This was strange read, I had a hard time rating it. It wasn’t terrible, at points I did enjoy reading it and at other points I didn’t.

Some of it was entertaining to read, like it drew me in from the very first page. The chapters do feel like a rant; the kind you get when life isn’t going your way, and you just need to vent. I don’t know if the writer intentionally made it feel like a 14yrs diary, but this was giving me throwbacks to how I wrote my diary at school.

I do feel like I should have prepared myself a bit better for the book and the writing. The chapters are different and high key messy, but I suppose it’s supposed to be messy.

Conclusion

There is a lot of themes that are written here including, poverty, pornography, emotional abuse, bullying and bad sex. If you want to compare the book I would say it has subtle hints of the girl in pieces. I didn’t enjoy the constant swearing and the mentions of sex in too much detail. I understand the hormones of a teenager are intense at that age and all they can think about is their bodies and the opposite sex; but I don’t want to keep reading about it.
Mark and Sarahs ‘relationship’ shows whats it like to be with someone that is embarrassed for you. I felt embarrassed reading it, and it’s interesting to read how obsessive crushes are at that age. Yeah this whole book just reminded me a lot of my school years. The obsessive crushes, the people that were jealous, the unnecessary drama and the rage for our parents.
Would I recommend to others…I’m not sure. It would have to be the right person.

Anyway this is my personal opinion, if you don’t like anything that I said or disagree that is fine. This is just what I thought - I am more of a fantasy girl anyway but I read books like this from time to time.

[Alyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listen, I’m having a hard time figuring out how to talk about this book. It was a fun time. It was repetitive. But in a good way. The best way. Yeah, repetitive in the best way. Really just a fun time.

In all seriousness, the writing style took me a minute to get used to. But I kind of think it’s genius actually. It was so funny, just kept setting itself up for more jokes. I don’t typically laugh out loud while reading but this book made me do that a couple times.

Thanks to the author/publisher for the digital copy. Had a blast.

[Leanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The solipsism, angst, directionless-ness, hope, pride, intensity of heart, and brazenness inherent to youth underpins this coming of age novel that is, at once, morose and determined. Sarah is relatable and unique in her indifference and prioritizing of relationships and experiences. Raw, honest and brave are adjectives that come to mind.

[Shelby · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book seemed almost like a tv show! The plot was entertaining but not super relatable, so it was a bit hard for me to get through. I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway, but likely would not have picked it up on my own.

[Haley Petty · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a weird book lover, this was one of the weirdest books I’ve ever read. It held my interest from the start to the finish. Hard to describe

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Odd... In a good way

Not the easiest book to review. I really liked the main character and the way the book was written. It managed to make me laugh out loud a number of times whilst also having some very melancholy, heart-felt moments. My only gripe is the formatting of the book on Kindle. I had to read it on my phone or tablet as it wasn't compatible with my Kindle scribe. Despite that, I'd recommend this book to anyone that is in the mood for something a bit different.

[Amy Bostock · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read, Teenage narrative Sarah going through the traditional issues we go through and coming out knowing that she doesn't need anyone to shape her but herself. Rollercoaster of emotions that I could empathise with.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is quite quirky and won't be for everyone, but I found myself really drawn to it and found it hard to put down.

The book is told from the perspective of Sarah, who is the main character. It is written as Sarah's autobiography of her life through mostly her teenage years. Sarah finds it hard to fit in. Her home life is troubled. Her Mom walks out. She is more interested in her art than in school. She meets Mark, who is the lead singer of a band and much older than her. The various relationships in her life are complex, and she struggle to find herself along the way.

This book is graphic. Some of the characters are pretty screwed up and the book depicts that. The writing style is more like a screenplay than a book, but I felt like it was perfect for this story.

I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Carrie B · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book reads half like a Critical Theory text on the (in)authenticity of the individual in the Culture Industry, with a Feminist slant. And half a relatable narrative of a dissociated teenage girl: her first infatuation (not reciprocated as intensely), her view of/feelings in the presence of her parents (who have split up), not fitting in with the ‘peroxides’, trying to create ‘real’ art, trying to avoid being ‘just meat’.
It took me a while to realise she might be an unreliable narrator on her father ‘Squiggle’. But it works either way and I like that things can be left ambiguous/dualistic like in real life – maybe he is as bad, maybe he isn’t, maybe both are true.
Another thing that was left ambiguous was whether anything happened when she blacked out and wakes up in someone’s bed.
The characterisation of an older, male mature student with money to buy everyone drinks, hanging around with younger people at Art College is funny, because there always is one, isn’t there ?
The lame names of the lame bands people like or are influenced by is irreverent. I think this book is for people who are half misanthropist/contrarian, half idealistic Aesthetes, who see how people tick, and aim to be more than ‘just meat’ (‘meat poles in meat holes’).
I don’t normally read books quickly but I read this one fast and found myself calling pizzas ‘circles of grease’ and certain coats ‘cool-as-fuck’ like her, haha.
She is writing this book in this story and her dad’s new girlfriend offers to read it near the end to be encouraging…
I thought afterwards that maybe the narrator has some of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder but I’m not an expert on that, so am not qualified to say, at all. I think a lot of us who were teenage girls with inconsistent parents and mental health issues had some of those patterns of relating/reacting /dissociating/black and white thinking/what in retrospect was stalker-ish behaviour, and that’s why, although you could say the book is ‘dark’, it’s also empathetic to that girl.
I thinks it's clever and funny.

[Angelita Ramirez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book through Goodreads giveaway.
I almost DNF the book but momma didn’t raise a quitter 😁
When I first started reading the book, I wasn’t too fond of the language used but quickly remembered this was a young girl talking. I felt the book was just rambling on about nothing and everything at the same time. At times I felt sad for Sarah, she wasn’t understood and I felt no one was in her side when she needed someone the most.
I’d still recommend this book to people. I wouldn’t know the target audience but it sounds like a memoir.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

I won this book through a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review. Thanks for choosing me.

I don't think I was the target audience for this book. It just wasn't for me, in any way, shape, or form. I know it's an unpopular opinion, I just honestly couldn't get into this book. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this.

Hopefully, it finds its target audience.

[Megan Harvell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an amazing read!