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The Difference Between
"You're the strongest person I know.”
Wade Maguire and Russ Paulson are in love. After a year of passion and happiness, they’re buying a home and moving in together. Everything is rosy for them—until a jealous and insane ex from Wade’s past puts all of that to the test.
"I need to figure out if there’s a way to move past this. For both of us.”
After being kidnapped and tortured by his deranged former lover, Wade loses his ability to engage with his own sexuality or with Russ. With the help of a psychologist, EMDR therapy, and a sex plan, they work together to overcome the damage inflicted. In the process, they discover wells of love they’ve never known before.
“You never deserved what happened to you. No matter what you’ve told yourself. You only deserved love.”
As passion is reborn and their sex life reignited, Wade realizes a need to re-experience certain events in Russ’s loving arms. For Wade, the difference between pain and pleasure is love, and the difference between rape and rough sex is consent.
Dark, and yet ultimately hopeful, this story of true love and rape recovery contains many emotional and graphic scenes of two men making love, as well as some intense scenes of torture. Proceed with care.
The Difference Between is a 78,000 word steamy, graphic, intensely emotional novel with a strong happy ending. No cheating and no cliffhangers, just two men who fight for their love. STAND-ALONE
Previously published as The Difference Between under the Leta Blake's retired pen name Blake Moreno.
Wade Maguire and Russ Paulson are in love. After a year of passion and happiness, they’re buying a home and moving in together. Everything is rosy for them—until a jealous and insane ex from Wade’s past puts all of that to the test.
"I need to figure out if there’s a way to move past this. For both of us.”
After being kidnapped and tortured by his deranged former lover, Wade loses his ability to engage with his own sexuality or with Russ. With the help of a psychologist, EMDR therapy, and a sex plan, they work together to overcome the damage inflicted. In the process, they discover wells of love they’ve never known before.
“You never deserved what happened to you. No matter what you’ve told yourself. You only deserved love.”
As passion is reborn and their sex life reignited, Wade realizes a need to re-experience certain events in Russ’s loving arms. For Wade, the difference between pain and pleasure is love, and the difference between rape and rough sex is consent.
Dark, and yet ultimately hopeful, this story of true love and rape recovery contains many emotional and graphic scenes of two men making love, as well as some intense scenes of torture. Proceed with care.
The Difference Between is a 78,000 word steamy, graphic, intensely emotional novel with a strong happy ending. No cheating and no cliffhangers, just two men who fight for their love. STAND-ALONE
Previously published as The Difference Between under the Leta Blake's retired pen name Blake Moreno.
294 pages, Paperback
First published January 12, 2017
170 people are currently reading
858 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 155 reviews
March 1, 2017
****4.5 Stars****
Available on Kindle Unlimited
A truly mind fuck read with horrifying moments even to this reader who is no stranger to WTF reads.
This is what I call guilty pleasure.
It was intense, believable, disturbing and very enjoyable.
Really liked!
Available on Kindle Unlimited
A truly mind fuck read with horrifying moments even to this reader who is no stranger to WTF reads.
This is what I call guilty pleasure.
It was intense, believable, disturbing and very enjoyable.
Really liked!
lost-interested
January 20, 20192 Stars
DNF @ 50%
This was my first read by Blake Moreno and I’d heard good things about it but unfortunately, it didn’t work out for me. I felt nothing during reading this story except for the two chapters that one of the MCs was torturing (during his kidnapping). Well, I don’t have any problem with reading dark books (and if you don’t like it, in this case, you can skip those two chapters as the author has said) So after that, I felt absolutely nothing and got bored! I didn’t like the writing and my mind was wandering everywhere except where it should be. Hope you enjoy it more than me!
DNF @ 50%
This was my first read by Blake Moreno and I’d heard good things about it but unfortunately, it didn’t work out for me. I felt nothing during reading this story except for the two chapters that one of the MCs was torturing (during his kidnapping). Well, I don’t have any problem with reading dark books (and if you don’t like it, in this case, you can skip those two chapters as the author has said) So after that, I felt absolutely nothing and got bored! I didn’t like the writing and my mind was wandering everywhere except where it should be. Hope you enjoy it more than me!
February 22, 2017
***4.5 unbreakable-and-pure stars***
Admittedly, it is pretty rare that I read dark books and, if so, I definitely have to be in the right mood. Nonetheless, I would not consider myself being particularly squeamish, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for the chapters two and three of this book. If they are not dark and disturbing, I don't know what is. You will learn in detail what a mentally ill person is able to do to another human being and and though this is fiction, it felt realistic and brutal and excruciating. There is a trigger warning at the beginning of the book and you should take it seriously, as in really seriously.
You might ask yourself now, why the hell did she not give up on this book. Well, authors who are eclectic, who are not set on a special type of story, who can write pretty much anything from funny to emotional to dark, and moreover do this in an authentic, believable fashion are pretty rare. Authors who make me enjoy topics I'm normally not pretty fond of are even rarer. When I learned that this is a book by Leta Blake - written under a pen name - of course, I could not resist giving it a shot. Leave it to her -or in this case Blake Moreno - to turn such a gut-wrenching story with almost unbearable occurences into an overall enjoyable read for me.
Wade leads a happy life, in a stable loving relationship with Russ...
... when he is being kidnapped, raped and tortured by his ex-friend-with-benefits, Owen. In the first three chapters of this book we get a pretty graphical presentation of the things Owen does to Wade and surviving this horrible experience seems to become nearly impossible. I have to admit that I powered a bit through these scenes. On the one hand, I had to read through my fingers sometimes and on the other hand, I could not put it down.
After having faced all sorts of humiliation over several weeks, Wade is finally being rescued and what starts now is an emotional journey of taking control over his own life again, of being in charge of his feelings. Especially his sex life, something he more than enjoyed being rough and kinky before, is understandably a sensitive subject now. His devotion and determination to make it work made my heart clench.
You cannot imagine how much I felt for him. Obviously, the task at hand is far from being easy and there are more than just a few regresses when random things like words, events and even things that belonged to the daily routine so far, trigger flashbacks, but I loved Wade so much for not giving up. With the help of a special therapy and with the support of his lover Russ, Wade slowly but surely gets a grip on "normalcy" again, or rather as normal as his life can be from now on.
The same goes for Russ, though. Let's face it, Wade might wear the physical scars, additional to the emotional ones, but the ordeal of a loved one also takes a toll on the one left behind, and Russ is no exception on that matter. Feelings of guilt and pain almost wreck him, but he does everything in his power to be supportive and protective and to make Wade feel safe again. That is all that matters to him. At the end his intentness on how far he will go is put to the test and once again there were some scenes that made me swallow, if not even a tad uncomfortable, but to a certain degree I could comprehend Wade's train of thoughts in order to feel whole again.
What I also loved about this book, aside from the strong characters and the sensitive fashion the author deals with the recovery of Wade, was the fact that there is no additional drama due to Wade and Russ's relationship. One feeling that does not waver during the whole book is love which goes along with a lot of trust. On both sides. Both men never question their love for each other and it is love and inner strength that keeps both of them sane.
I recommend this book with caution, it is definitely not for the faint of heart. You can skip the most challenging parts, but be aware of the fact that there are still some references to the happenings during Wade's torment, although not that graphic as in said chapters. But if you like to read an intense story filled with hope, love and fortitude, you should give this book a try.
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
Admittedly, it is pretty rare that I read dark books and, if so, I definitely have to be in the right mood. Nonetheless, I would not consider myself being particularly squeamish, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for the chapters two and three of this book. If they are not dark and disturbing, I don't know what is. You will learn in detail what a mentally ill person is able to do to another human being and and though this is fiction, it felt realistic and brutal and excruciating. There is a trigger warning at the beginning of the book and you should take it seriously, as in really seriously.
You might ask yourself now, why the hell did she not give up on this book. Well, authors who are eclectic, who are not set on a special type of story, who can write pretty much anything from funny to emotional to dark, and moreover do this in an authentic, believable fashion are pretty rare. Authors who make me enjoy topics I'm normally not pretty fond of are even rarer. When I learned that this is a book by Leta Blake - written under a pen name - of course, I could not resist giving it a shot. Leave it to her -or in this case Blake Moreno - to turn such a gut-wrenching story with almost unbearable occurences into an overall enjoyable read for me.
Wade leads a happy life, in a stable loving relationship with Russ...
... when he is being kidnapped, raped and tortured by his ex-friend-with-benefits, Owen. In the first three chapters of this book we get a pretty graphical presentation of the things Owen does to Wade and surviving this horrible experience seems to become nearly impossible. I have to admit that I powered a bit through these scenes. On the one hand, I had to read through my fingers sometimes and on the other hand, I could not put it down.
After having faced all sorts of humiliation over several weeks, Wade is finally being rescued and what starts now is an emotional journey of taking control over his own life again, of being in charge of his feelings. Especially his sex life, something he more than enjoyed being rough and kinky before, is understandably a sensitive subject now. His devotion and determination to make it work made my heart clench.
You cannot imagine how much I felt for him. Obviously, the task at hand is far from being easy and there are more than just a few regresses when random things like words, events and even things that belonged to the daily routine so far, trigger flashbacks, but I loved Wade so much for not giving up. With the help of a special therapy and with the support of his lover Russ, Wade slowly but surely gets a grip on "normalcy" again, or rather as normal as his life can be from now on.
The same goes for Russ, though. Let's face it, Wade might wear the physical scars, additional to the emotional ones, but the ordeal of a loved one also takes a toll on the one left behind, and Russ is no exception on that matter. Feelings of guilt and pain almost wreck him, but he does everything in his power to be supportive and protective and to make Wade feel safe again. That is all that matters to him. At the end his intentness on how far he will go is put to the test and once again there were some scenes that made me swallow, if not even a tad uncomfortable, but to a certain degree I could comprehend Wade's train of thoughts in order to feel whole again.
What I also loved about this book, aside from the strong characters and the sensitive fashion the author deals with the recovery of Wade, was the fact that there is no additional drama due to Wade and Russ's relationship. One feeling that does not waver during the whole book is love which goes along with a lot of trust. On both sides. Both men never question their love for each other and it is love and inner strength that keeps both of them sane.
I recommend this book with caution, it is definitely not for the faint of heart. You can skip the most challenging parts, but be aware of the fact that there are still some references to the happenings during Wade's torment, although not that graphic as in said chapters. But if you like to read an intense story filled with hope, love and fortitude, you should give this book a try.
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
February 19, 2017
*4,5 stars*
First: Please make sure your read the blurb in detail before you embark on this.
Second: Please read the author's notes at the beginning. He has gone to great lengths to make sure you are okay with the themes touched upon. I really appreciate how he tries to ensure his readers know in advance what they're going into.
Third: By now you're probably wondering: what the heck?
Let's put it like this:
The Difference Between is dark. Very dark. It deals with kidnapping, rape and torture of the worst kind. And it is blatant and realistic. Never has the expression 'brutally honest' been more on my mind.
It is possible (on the author's advice) to skip chapters 2 and 3 where the attacks on Wade happen if you want to avoid going into the blunt and very graphic scenes. But be aware that a lot of it, although in lesser detail, is mentioned at some point later. Because most of the book deals with what happens afterwards and how Wade tries to rekindle his sexuality and his life.
At no time does the author attempt to make this easy on the reader or sugarcoat anything. Wade has been seriously violated. In body and mind. He has lost himself, his pleasure in sex and the way he can share himself with his partner, Russ. He also discovers a side of him he wasn't aware of. One that deeply bothers him.
I think Blake Moreno has written an intricate. extremely honest and emotionally complex 'study' on Wade's journey to reclaim his life (and, before you ask, yes, he does!). There were times when I held my breath without noticing and moments when my heart broke into 15 million pieces for Wade and Russ. Both men know that neither will ever be the same again. Both are uncertain what the future holds, because how do you regain what was most intimate to you but then ripped away by violence and brutality?
The thing that is most moving here is the love between Russ and Wade, It shines through everything. It gives them strength and the willingness not to give up. It allows Wade to take risks in a safe environment. It humbles me to think of people that strong and honest with each other. If filled me with awe to see how these two men fight for each other.
I loved how the author shows the struggle of BOTH men. Because, of course, Russ was deeply affected by what happened, too. He suffered as well, but he is willing to do anything for Wade, and he is pushed to his limits particularly in the end (and to be blatantly honest so was I) But Blake Moreno's excellent writing makes me FULLY understand why Wade needs certain things to be able to deal with his trauma and why he reacts the way he does and how it helps him to understand 'the difference between'.
Ultimately the main message of this book is one of hope. A message that love and professional help (Wade's psychologist plays a detrimental role in his recovery) can make you better, can help you regain your life, can let you love and be loved again.
Yes, this book shows us what a truly demented mind can do to an innocent life. It is dark, deeply intense and highly emotional, but it also shows that there can be light where only dark reigned before.
Just make sure you read the author's notes at the beginning and be aware of the mention of sexually taboo practices.
First: Please make sure your read the blurb in detail before you embark on this.
Second: Please read the author's notes at the beginning. He has gone to great lengths to make sure you are okay with the themes touched upon. I really appreciate how he tries to ensure his readers know in advance what they're going into.
Third: By now you're probably wondering: what the heck?
Let's put it like this:
The Difference Between is dark. Very dark. It deals with kidnapping, rape and torture of the worst kind. And it is blatant and realistic. Never has the expression 'brutally honest' been more on my mind.
It is possible (on the author's advice) to skip chapters 2 and 3 where the attacks on Wade happen if you want to avoid going into the blunt and very graphic scenes. But be aware that a lot of it, although in lesser detail, is mentioned at some point later. Because most of the book deals with what happens afterwards and how Wade tries to rekindle his sexuality and his life.
At no time does the author attempt to make this easy on the reader or sugarcoat anything. Wade has been seriously violated. In body and mind. He has lost himself, his pleasure in sex and the way he can share himself with his partner, Russ. He also discovers a side of him he wasn't aware of. One that deeply bothers him.
I think Blake Moreno has written an intricate. extremely honest and emotionally complex 'study' on Wade's journey to reclaim his life (and, before you ask, yes, he does!). There were times when I held my breath without noticing and moments when my heart broke into 15 million pieces for Wade and Russ. Both men know that neither will ever be the same again. Both are uncertain what the future holds, because how do you regain what was most intimate to you but then ripped away by violence and brutality?
The thing that is most moving here is the love between Russ and Wade, It shines through everything. It gives them strength and the willingness not to give up. It allows Wade to take risks in a safe environment. It humbles me to think of people that strong and honest with each other. If filled me with awe to see how these two men fight for each other.
I loved how the author shows the struggle of BOTH men. Because, of course, Russ was deeply affected by what happened, too. He suffered as well, but he is willing to do anything for Wade, and he is pushed to his limits particularly in the end (and to be blatantly honest so was I) But Blake Moreno's excellent writing makes me FULLY understand why Wade needs certain things to be able to deal with his trauma and why he reacts the way he does and how it helps him to understand 'the difference between'.
Ultimately the main message of this book is one of hope. A message that love and professional help (Wade's psychologist plays a detrimental role in his recovery) can make you better, can help you regain your life, can let you love and be loved again.
Yes, this book shows us what a truly demented mind can do to an innocent life. It is dark, deeply intense and highly emotional, but it also shows that there can be light where only dark reigned before.
Just make sure you read the author's notes at the beginning and be aware of the mention of sexually taboo practices.
January 27, 2024
UPDATE: Okay, forget 4.75 ... if 5 stars is the LEAST I could give this book, the hell with a few typos that didn't do ANYTHING to impact how much this book captivated me, then 5 stars is what I am going to give!! FIVE glorious stars <333!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️!!!
-----
I'm still at 85% but I figured "the hell with it, I want to rate it NOW", because my feelings on the rating will only intensify. Nothing can make me back down from it!! True rating: 4.75 stars <3333 - but an honorary SKY FULLLL of them <333!!!! I wanted to give this a SOLID FIVE STARS, but deducted 0.25, ONLY because of a few of the typos that were interspersed throughout the book. I didn't want to penalize a TEN star book because of typos that in the grand scheme of things, didn't impact the book AT ALL!!! Still, they were there, and I felt the book deserved MUCH better; especially THIS book!! SO, rounding up to 5 :-)!!
AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAAAAAAAAAAAAZING book!! Torture, hope, love, healing ... everything ... this book has/is everything :-)!!! Most definitely recommended!! I have so many thoughts and I'll be revising this to include said thoughtlets [Yes (!!), made up a new word :-D!!]. In the meantime? READ THIS BOOK <333333!!!!
*****
Way too intrigued to pass this up. Here we go *rubs hands together* ...
Also, though I'll be trying this on KU, if I really like it, I'll definitely purchase this book :-)!!
I don't plan on missing even a word in this book, so I'll definitely be reading through it all :-)!! But, I do still think it's AWESOME that the author went out of his/her own way to make sure the reader is prepared :-)!! See the author's warning below:
"IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNING:
CAUTION!
Chapters 2 & 3 of this book contain graphic descriptions of torture and rape. If you want to read this book without the most graphic descriptions of these events, please read Chapter 1 and then skip to Chapter 4. In addition, throughout the book there are references to and less graphic descriptions of the rape and torture. Please do not continue this book at all if that isn’t a safe topic for you."
*****
Very intrigued and very on-the-fence!
-----
I'm still at 85% but I figured "the hell with it, I want to rate it NOW", because my feelings on the rating will only intensify. Nothing can make me back down from it!! True rating: 4.75 stars <3333 - but an honorary SKY FULLLL of them <333!!!! I wanted to give this a SOLID FIVE STARS, but deducted 0.25, ONLY because of a few of the typos that were interspersed throughout the book. I didn't want to penalize a TEN star book because of typos that in the grand scheme of things, didn't impact the book AT ALL!!! Still, they were there, and I felt the book deserved MUCH better; especially THIS book!! SO, rounding up to 5 :-)!!
AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAAAAAAAAAAAAZING book!! Torture, hope, love, healing ... everything ... this book has/is everything :-)!!! Most definitely recommended!! I have so many thoughts and I'll be revising this to include said thoughtlets [Yes (!!), made up a new word :-D!!]. In the meantime? READ THIS BOOK <333333!!!!
*****
Way too intrigued to pass this up. Here we go *rubs hands together* ...
Also, though I'll be trying this on KU, if I really like it, I'll definitely purchase this book :-)!!
I don't plan on missing even a word in this book, so I'll definitely be reading through it all :-)!! But, I do still think it's AWESOME that the author went out of his/her own way to make sure the reader is prepared :-)!! See the author's warning below:
"IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNING:
CAUTION!
Chapters 2 & 3 of this book contain graphic descriptions of torture and rape. If you want to read this book without the most graphic descriptions of these events, please read Chapter 1 and then skip to Chapter 4. In addition, throughout the book there are references to and less graphic descriptions of the rape and torture. Please do not continue this book at all if that isn’t a safe topic for you."
*****
December 12, 2021
Soooooo the author did warn that 2 chapters of this book are going to be very hard to read. I had no issues reading them.
*******SPOILERS BELOW.**********
2 chapters worth of detailed rape and torture involving everything you can think of - urinating inside the person, then plugging it up until the stomach extends and is too painful, old fashioned rape, lots of equipment, forced ejaculation and prostate stimulation endlessly, etc., etc. there's blood, semen, poop, piss and all other kinds of bodily fluids.
Now, if all this graphic depiction had a POINT - that could have been arrived at with much less detail, perhaps in 1-2 paragraphs of INFERENCE - I wouldn't have cared. But it really didn't do anything for me, all the details, that a summary wouldn't have done just the same. So my only conclusion from having read all that is that the author enjoyed writing all those details for some sort of horrified turned on effect it might have on the person writing or reading. In which case, OK. I just got bored.
Like, rape rape rape...
YAWN.
Piss piss piss...
YAWN YAWN
Forced cumming with vibrators, whips and chains....
I'm now comatose with boredom!
Then it goes on of course --all the rest of this book -- healing through sex... lots and lots of it. TITANIC YAWNING!!!!
There's nothing here, folks. A book written for the specific purpose of creating a premise to write about all kinds of "titillating" sex acts. There's no real psychological suspense, emotional connection, deep thinking, witty banter, beautiful writing... NOTHING to credit a book actually worth reading.
So, DNF and would totally not recommend for anyone looking to actually engage their brain and heart while reading.
*******SPOILERS BELOW.**********
2 chapters worth of detailed rape and torture involving everything you can think of - urinating inside the person, then plugging it up until the stomach extends and is too painful, old fashioned rape, lots of equipment, forced ejaculation and prostate stimulation endlessly, etc., etc. there's blood, semen, poop, piss and all other kinds of bodily fluids.
Now, if all this graphic depiction had a POINT - that could have been arrived at with much less detail, perhaps in 1-2 paragraphs of INFERENCE - I wouldn't have cared. But it really didn't do anything for me, all the details, that a summary wouldn't have done just the same. So my only conclusion from having read all that is that the author enjoyed writing all those details for some sort of horrified turned on effect it might have on the person writing or reading. In which case, OK. I just got bored.
Like, rape rape rape...
YAWN.
Piss piss piss...
YAWN YAWN
Forced cumming with vibrators, whips and chains....
I'm now comatose with boredom!
Then it goes on of course --all the rest of this book -- healing through sex... lots and lots of it. TITANIC YAWNING!!!!
There's nothing here, folks. A book written for the specific purpose of creating a premise to write about all kinds of "titillating" sex acts. There's no real psychological suspense, emotional connection, deep thinking, witty banter, beautiful writing... NOTHING to credit a book actually worth reading.
So, DNF and would totally not recommend for anyone looking to actually engage their brain and heart while reading.
Read
February 6, 2017I love it, but there are reasons for that. YMMV.
February 7, 2017
4.5 star Review by The Blogger Girls.
Wade is on a trip to LA to visit a long-time friend/former lover, Owen, when his life is seemingly irrevocably changed. Wade and Owen had been together previously, but Owen, who was a closeted bisexual, never came to terms with his attraction to men. Owen and Wade maintained their friendship until Owen moved away. But, Owen basically went off the deep end, decided to kidnap Wade and torture him as a means of cleansing him of his current lover, Russ. Owen was in a deep psychotic episode throughout the ordeal, and while that helps explain things, it certainly doesn’t excuse his actions.
But, the main story here isn’t actually the kidnap/torture/rape that Wade endured, though that is a big part. It is mostly contained in chapters 2/3 which could technically be skipped if you are unable to handle it, but there are references throughout the rest of the story that give hints as to some of what Wade endured. This is one of the things I loved about the way this story was told. While we get a good chunk and general sense of what took place in current time during the kidnapping, it is during the months following his kidnapping, after Wade his healed physically, but throughout much of Wade’s healing process that we are fed some of the details. It gave a sense that this was not something Wade would simply heal from like a bruise or broken bone, but something that he may well have to always deal with on some level.
The bulk of the story is about Wade healing and finding ways to cope and come to terms with what has happened. He and Russ take baby steps to help Wade get by with fewer episodes, find ways to do every day things without triggering anything, and most of all, find ways for Wade to enjoy being together sexually (though Russ never pushes and is happy with however much Wade can or wants to do). It is often Russ who has to be strong when Wade wants to push too far. Wade’s psyche had been forcibly trained one way where he endured extreme pain but also unbelievably intense orgasms for fear dying. To say he had some serious issues to overcome in being able to have “normal” sex again, is a vast understatement. But, this story feels very realistic in that healing process. Wade takes many steps back, there is no quick fix, but he is lucky to have a strong support system and a man that loves him more than anything to help him through. He chooses a different approach in his therapy which I found intriguing but easy to understand understand and interesting to watch unfold.
All in all, I really enjoyed this story, the way it was told and how smoothly it read. It contained a difficult subject matter, but was never over the top. I also loved that it was romantic at times but never felt fluffy or cheesy. I wish we had learned a bit more about Wade and Russ’ relationship before the big event, but I never had any doubt about their commitment after it happened. I was a bit disappointed to find this is the first book by this author, as I was eager to jump into another story, but I will definitely be on the lookout in the future.
June 24, 2019
Yes, it's everything you've heard and more. Dark and tender and just heartbreaking... over and over again.
February 7, 2017
I always find books that evoke so many emotions are harder to review than others that just simply make you feel. The Difference Between is one of those books that after you finish it, you need to process and decompress.
I feel it needs saying: Heed the warnings. The author does an absolutely wonderful job of warning the reader what they are going to be reading. He says, and I will agree with, if rape, torture, humiliation, things that relate to kidnapping are hard for you to read then skip chapters 2 and 3. Skipping these chapters won’t affect the overall meaning of this book. Enough is discussed throughout the story to understand what Wade went through all those weeks with his ex. I read every chapter and every word. We don’t just feel Wade’s pain in chapter 2 and 3 but we also get inside his ex’s head too. Mental illness is terrifying. In this case Owen was beyond mental illness in my mind. He lost his humanity. He lost the person that once meant something in this world and never got help. And Wade pays a huge price for that.
There were moments in this book that, out of nowhere, a sob would escape me. Moments like when Wade’s eight year old godson hugs him and tells him, “I got you.” I mean my heart just exploded. And Russ….His love for Wade was gorgeous. Russ met and fell in love with a Wade that Owen stripped away and broke. Russ has to fall in love again in a way. He needs to glue the pieces back. Russ is patient, kind, and pretty much the most perfect man ever! I say that in all seriousness. I’ve read many times that spouses of rape victims can’t cope a lot of the time with what it takes to recover. I give huge props to Russ.
Now, the therapy and recovery is a huge part of this book. It’s pretty much the whole book. We recover with Wade and we glimpse inside his and Russ’s mind throughout. Seeing it through both their eyes was brilliant. It was needed and it helped, me at least, understand the emotions and such a lot better.
This is a very powerful book. Dark, gritty, raw, and not easy to read. For an author to start a book out with such horrible darkness. To show us a humanity stripped of all its good and have us endure a Hell not many would survive and then turn it into a happiness we all wish we could feel just once in our lives? That’s serious talent. It’s more than talent though. There’s an understanding between author and character here. Research, and there’s a serious realism here I felt one could not write unless they really understood it.
I applaud the author and I do recommend this story.
I feel it needs saying: Heed the warnings. The author does an absolutely wonderful job of warning the reader what they are going to be reading. He says, and I will agree with, if rape, torture, humiliation, things that relate to kidnapping are hard for you to read then skip chapters 2 and 3. Skipping these chapters won’t affect the overall meaning of this book. Enough is discussed throughout the story to understand what Wade went through all those weeks with his ex. I read every chapter and every word. We don’t just feel Wade’s pain in chapter 2 and 3 but we also get inside his ex’s head too. Mental illness is terrifying. In this case Owen was beyond mental illness in my mind. He lost his humanity. He lost the person that once meant something in this world and never got help. And Wade pays a huge price for that.
There were moments in this book that, out of nowhere, a sob would escape me. Moments like when Wade’s eight year old godson hugs him and tells him, “I got you.” I mean my heart just exploded. And Russ….His love for Wade was gorgeous. Russ met and fell in love with a Wade that Owen stripped away and broke. Russ has to fall in love again in a way. He needs to glue the pieces back. Russ is patient, kind, and pretty much the most perfect man ever! I say that in all seriousness. I’ve read many times that spouses of rape victims can’t cope a lot of the time with what it takes to recover. I give huge props to Russ.
Now, the therapy and recovery is a huge part of this book. It’s pretty much the whole book. We recover with Wade and we glimpse inside his and Russ’s mind throughout. Seeing it through both their eyes was brilliant. It was needed and it helped, me at least, understand the emotions and such a lot better.
This is a very powerful book. Dark, gritty, raw, and not easy to read. For an author to start a book out with such horrible darkness. To show us a humanity stripped of all its good and have us endure a Hell not many would survive and then turn it into a happiness we all wish we could feel just once in our lives? That’s serious talent. It’s more than talent though. There’s an understanding between author and character here. Research, and there’s a serious realism here I felt one could not write unless they really understood it.
I applaud the author and I do recommend this story.
July 16, 2017
Brilliantly dark
I wrote a really eloquent review of this and then my kindle decided to just delete it so I'm not doing it again.
I will say though that this book is a tour de force ride through all the elements of dealing with sexual trauma from both sides of the relationship.
Heed the warnings but don't be afraid of this book because it brings light into darkness and shows that there can be sexual healing and a reclamation of love even after the most brutal of traumas.
This is a romance, the love between Wade and Russ is powerful and all encompassing and provides the platform for which they can recover together.
I wrote a really eloquent review of this and then my kindle decided to just delete it so I'm not doing it again.
I will say though that this book is a tour de force ride through all the elements of dealing with sexual trauma from both sides of the relationship.
Heed the warnings but don't be afraid of this book because it brings light into darkness and shows that there can be sexual healing and a reclamation of love even after the most brutal of traumas.
This is a romance, the love between Wade and Russ is powerful and all encompassing and provides the platform for which they can recover together.
February 7, 2017
No está mal escrito y creo, imagino, que para los amantes del BDSM igual es una lectura interesante, sin embargo, aunque he conseguido leerlo hasta el final y admito que a medida que avanza mejora un poco, no ha conseguido convencerme, lo siento, a pesar de ello, creo que tiene bastante mérito cómo lleva el tema, aunque para mi ha sido más un montón de teorías sin pies ni cabeza. Eso si, sexo hay a borbotones, tantos como de semen, por un minuto pensaba que estaba leyendo hentai :/ He aprendido que la palabra cum-dumpster es sinónimo de amor ♥
July 22, 2017
*3.75*
Please heed the warnings before choosing to start this book. The author does a wonderful job warning readers and pinpointing what chapters are the toughest to read.
This is not what I usually go for, but I recently found out that Blake Moreno is actually a pen name for Leta Blake!
It's obvious from the beginning that the author is a great storyteller. In just one chapter, we get the full backstory of Wade and Russ's love story, and Wade's history with Owen, who's about to be his tormentor and rapist. I didn't read the next two chapters. I was not triggered by the content, but it was too harsh for me anyway.
I loved what the author did with Wade's healing process. But it was mostly focused on sex and sex practices that Wade and Russ started using in order to replace the bad stuff. Understandable but I'd like to see more about the emotional aspect of their relationship after what happened.
In any case, I'm definitely going to read more from the author. Leta Blake is proving to be a very diverse writer. Also, I was afraid that this going to be weird ass crazy, because of the psycho ex. But it wasn't. If anything, it told me that stuff like that can happen to anyone. Which was scary as hell.
Please heed the warnings before choosing to start this book. The author does a wonderful job warning readers and pinpointing what chapters are the toughest to read.
This is not what I usually go for, but I recently found out that Blake Moreno is actually a pen name for Leta Blake!
It's obvious from the beginning that the author is a great storyteller. In just one chapter, we get the full backstory of Wade and Russ's love story, and Wade's history with Owen, who's about to be his tormentor and rapist. I didn't read the next two chapters. I was not triggered by the content, but it was too harsh for me anyway.
I loved what the author did with Wade's healing process. But it was mostly focused on sex and sex practices that Wade and Russ started using in order to replace the bad stuff. Understandable but I'd like to see more about the emotional aspect of their relationship after what happened.
In any case, I'm definitely going to read more from the author. Leta Blake is proving to be a very diverse writer. Also, I was afraid that this going to be weird ass crazy, because of the psycho ex. But it wasn't. If anything, it told me that stuff like that can happen to anyone. Which was scary as hell.
December 19, 2024
In a shocking turn of events for me I actually didn’t really like this book??? As a diehard fan of Leta Blake I was so disappointed that this book just did not work for me at all. Maybe it’s because I’m a medical professional but the portrayal of a paranoid schizophrenic as a psycho rapist was quite distasteful for me and I fully understand that everyone’s healing journey through traumatic events will look different but I was honestly disappointed that we only focused on the sexual part of Wade’s healing. There was a surprising amount of sex scenes and things moved very quickly from “I might never be able to have sex again” to “oh yes baby please fuck me”. Russ and Wade were cute together but in like a surface level way? Like we’re told how much they love each other but honestly Russ felt like a caricature of the perfect boyfriend for this very specific situation™ and Russ could do no wrong and the only actual conflict they had was resolved almost immediately. I think I was just expecting something on a more on a deeper level than what I got and was hoping for a more messy healing journey instead of things going basically exacting according to plan. Obviously a big trigger warning for the rape but even that felt unnecessary to the story and I know that author states in the beginning that it’s totally fine to skip these chapters if it’s a trigger which is obviously great but by doing that it basically made those two chapters irrelevant because I felt like nothing was really added to the story by me having to sit through two chapters of Wade’s torture because I think the flashbacks throughout the rest of the book handle it just fine without the overly complicated chapters of detailed rape and torture while also in my opinion doing a disservice to the stigma schizophrenia already has around it. This review was overly long and drawn out just to say that I was disappointed because I was expecting a really great story about healing from trauma and how that effects both you and your partner and instead I got two chapters of brutal rape and perfect boyfriend who can do no wrong™ and lots of sex with some trauma sprinkled around (but like in the way one would season a steak with only black pepper)
October 7, 2019
We jumped into the thick of things almost immediately. But before that, we got to know how Russ and Wade met and became a couple. It was just a recollection of events in the first chapter.
Wade decided to reconcile his friendship with his ex, but he didn't expect what came next..
Writing from the villain's POV is a hard thing to pull off. To me this scenario was ridiculous, which was partly intentional. But there’s a fine line between ridiculousness and portraying a crazy person with manic tendencies. And it didn't work for me here.
What shocked me a bit is that there's 2 kids in this story, 9 and 12 year olds, and they've been told what happened to Wade, though not in detail. They even told them the police who the kids knew. That's just not right. I don't understand why that was necessary.
Otherwise, I liked Russ, he's a devoted boyfriend, very much in love. And I liked them together. I also understood the mentality behind this whole story, but after a while it got out of hand to me. I've no doubt the author did her research, regarding rape and torture victims, but the sex plan they put together with the Doc was too similar to what happened to Wade and I didn't like that. But like I said, I understand, and believe that a plan like that could work to heal the mind of the victim, but it was hella weird. Kudos to Russ for going along with it.
All in all, this whole book revolved around sex, one way or another. And I would've liked to know more about Wade's friendship with Owen, see the good times, and get a grasp of their dynamic, how was it back then. And also to see the joyful life Russ and Wade had before the kidnapping.
Wade decided to reconcile his friendship with his ex, but he didn't expect what came next..
Writing from the villain's POV is a hard thing to pull off. To me this scenario was ridiculous, which was partly intentional. But there’s a fine line between ridiculousness and portraying a crazy person with manic tendencies. And it didn't work for me here.
What shocked me a bit is that there's 2 kids in this story, 9 and 12 year olds, and they've been told what happened to Wade, though not in detail. They even told them the police who the kids knew. That's just not right. I don't understand why that was necessary.
Otherwise, I liked Russ, he's a devoted boyfriend, very much in love. And I liked them together. I also understood the mentality behind this whole story, but after a while it got out of hand to me. I've no doubt the author did her research, regarding rape and torture victims, but the sex plan they put together with the Doc was too similar to what happened to Wade and I didn't like that. But like I said, I understand, and believe that a plan like that could work to heal the mind of the victim, but it was hella weird. Kudos to Russ for going along with it.
All in all, this whole book revolved around sex, one way or another. And I would've liked to know more about Wade's friendship with Owen, see the good times, and get a grasp of their dynamic, how was it back then. And also to see the joyful life Russ and Wade had before the kidnapping.
September 26, 2017
The author Blake Moreno (pen name) wrote a really difficult, intense story here.
It's difficult to read because it contains kidnapping, rape and torture.
But it's also a great story of hope, strength, love and trust!
Wade Maguire and Russ Paulson are in a happy, passionate relationship. They've just bought a home and are about to move. Life is perfect!
But then Wade is kidnapped by an ex-friend-with-benefits, who rapes and tortures him for several weeks.
Wade gets rescued, but nothing is anymore like it was before.
It begins the long way back to a "normal" everyday life, including a satisfying sex life. And this is the main part of this book, Wade's difficult journey to reclaim his life, supported by Russ and close friends. (The main focus on the sex life.)
With the help of a psychologist and a special therapy, Wade is reliving all the horror in daily sessions, trying to process those memories by re-categorizing them and desensitizing him to the experience of the memory itself.
At home, Wade and Russ are working with a sex plan and at some point Wade realizes a need to re-experience some of the horrible events with Russ. Not an easy decision for Russ to make!
It's an emotional and difficult read. It's disturbing and heartbreaking to read about all the horror, pain, loss and struggle. Not only Wade's, but also Russ's, because the loved-ones suffer as well.
But it's also amazing to read how strong and all-embracing Wade and Russ's love for one another is, how they fight to get their life back and what an immense inner strength the two own!
The trigger warnings at the beginning of the book should be taken very serious!
It's difficult to read because it contains kidnapping, rape and torture.
But it's also a great story of hope, strength, love and trust!
Wade Maguire and Russ Paulson are in a happy, passionate relationship. They've just bought a home and are about to move. Life is perfect!
But then Wade is kidnapped by an ex-friend-with-benefits, who rapes and tortures him for several weeks.
Wade gets rescued, but nothing is anymore like it was before.
It begins the long way back to a "normal" everyday life, including a satisfying sex life. And this is the main part of this book, Wade's difficult journey to reclaim his life, supported by Russ and close friends. (The main focus on the sex life.)
With the help of a psychologist and a special therapy, Wade is reliving all the horror in daily sessions, trying to process those memories by re-categorizing them and desensitizing him to the experience of the memory itself.
At home, Wade and Russ are working with a sex plan and at some point Wade realizes a need to re-experience some of the horrible events with Russ. Not an easy decision for Russ to make!
It's an emotional and difficult read. It's disturbing and heartbreaking to read about all the horror, pain, loss and struggle. Not only Wade's, but also Russ's, because the loved-ones suffer as well.
But it's also amazing to read how strong and all-embracing Wade and Russ's love for one another is, how they fight to get their life back and what an immense inner strength the two own!
The trigger warnings at the beginning of the book should be taken very serious!
February 7, 2017
I thought this book would be about sexual healing in a somewhat vanilla setting. Per the author's advise, I read chapter one, but skipped the graphic rape scenes.
The intent and relationship between Wade and Russ is quite beautiful, but I just can't get behind the method with which Wade tries to get back his sexuality. He decides to reenact the rape and abuse with his lover, with Wade being in charge to change his feelings about what happened and to be able to have sex with Russ again. I personally couldn't decide if this is a real psychological aproach, and it just made me feel a little bit sick to my stomach. It could just be me, since I'm not that much into BDSM. If this is something you like, of course feel free to enjoy! But personally I think this story should come with a stronger trigger-warning.
The intent and relationship between Wade and Russ is quite beautiful, but I just can't get behind the method with which Wade tries to get back his sexuality. He decides to reenact the rape and abuse with his lover, with Wade being in charge to change his feelings about what happened and to be able to have sex with Russ again. I personally couldn't decide if this is a real psychological aproach, and it just made me feel a little bit sick to my stomach. It could just be me, since I'm not that much into BDSM. If this is something you like, of course feel free to enjoy! But personally I think this story should come with a stronger trigger-warning.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 2, 2018
I can't add more than others. I so appreciated experiencing what happened - because that let me be very invested in Wade's healing. I enjoyed the way this book looked at things emotionally and methodically - I would likely take a similar tactic. Lots of therapy and schedules but not boring. Just two men trying to rebuild lives after a terrible tragedy. Well worth the purchase!
September 26, 2018
RECENSIONE COMPLETA QUI: https://thereadingslove.blogspot.com/...
Le differenze è una storia di dolore e violenza subita. Una storia di guarigione per tornare ad essere normali dopo il trauma di essere stato vittima degli atti più cruenti. Questa è una storia d'amore e di tutti gli atti compiuti per proteggerlo. Una storia di guarigione difficile, inimmaginabile. Una storia di immensa forza per tornare a desiderare un futuro e una vita e a non essere più prigioniero dei ricordi. È un cammino di devozione e fiducia per tornare alla luce dopo l'oscurità. Prima di iniziare a leggere questo libro vi consiglio di prestare attenzione a tutti i warning e soprattutto per chi non è abituato a scene di tortura e violenza di saltare i capitoli due e tre della parte uno. Perché qui viviamo visibilmente la prigionia di Wade in ogni azione efferata ed in ogni pensiero. Nulla è edulcorato e riusciamo ad avere la percezione tangibile della follia di Owen, il carceriere, viaggiamo nella sua mente malata ma soprattutto sentiamo su di noi ogni azione crudele, sporca per come sono scrupolosamente descritte. Blake Moreno non si è assolutamente risparmiata di sondare il lato oscuro della mente umana così come non lo ha fatto nelle introspezioni psicologiche atte a guarire. Sconvolgenti ed innumerevoli sono le sensazioni durante la lettura del percorso di guarigione. Wade con addosso il senso di colpa, la vergogna ed il disgusto, cerca di ribellarsi alla sua mente che si assenta dalla realtà e che lo riporta indietro in quella stanza delle torture; la sua disperazione e paura di non aver più un futuro, paura di restare solo, paura degli sconosciuti e di non poter mai più essere in grado di tornare colui che Russ ha amato, è straziante. Ma Russ ama disperatamente e totalmente e per Wade farebbe di tutto: senso di protezione e conforto, dedizione ed accettazione assoluta caratterizzano il suo percorso portandolo ad acconsentire a qualunque cosa pur di aiutare Wade. I protagonisti sono due eroi, entrambi sopravvissuti a qualcosa di atroce, due eroi che camminano insieme parlandosi sempre con schiettezza e sincerità. Ognuno di loro combatte con i propri demoni interiori e con quelli dell'altro, si guardano a vicenda e si aiutano per andare avanti giorno dopo giorno. La forza di Wade è innegabile, impossibile non entrare in empatia con lui, impossibile sfuggire alla sua mente che elabora e resetta. Lui è la vittima sopravvissuta che ha dalla sua parte una rete di sicurezza ed un aiuto straordinario sia dallo psichiatra, specializzato nel metodo scientifico dell'elaborazione dei ricordi e sia dai suoi migliori amici che sono la sua unica famiglia. Russ invece ha solo Wade e l'amore grande e sconfinato per lui. Eppure la forza e la tenerezza impiegata per riportare il suo compagno verso la luce, le scelte che fa ed il suo aiutarlo in modo assoluto a me personalmente ha strizzato il cuore e mi ha fatto provare tanto affetto per lui. È affascinante e coinvolgente la perizia nel descrivere il percorso psicologico atto a cambiare gli eventi nella mente di Wade, ricordandoli ma ricostruendoli secondo la sua volontà e soprattutto tenendone il controllo. Il percorso per riappropriarsi del controllo della propria sessualità è un’altalena di fortissime emozioni, a volte belle altre molto meno. Le scene messe in atto per ritrovare se stesso, trasformare la violenza in volontà, lo stupro in controllo mi ha allibito ed emozionato perché in tutto c'è solo amore, generosità reciproca e una grandezza di sentimenti altissima. Amerete oppure odierete il romanzo ma comunque vi lascerà dentro qualcosa di importante...
CONTINUA SUL NOSTRO BLOG. VENITE A TROVARCI
https://thereadingslove.blogspot.com/
Le differenze è una storia di dolore e violenza subita. Una storia di guarigione per tornare ad essere normali dopo il trauma di essere stato vittima degli atti più cruenti. Questa è una storia d'amore e di tutti gli atti compiuti per proteggerlo. Una storia di guarigione difficile, inimmaginabile. Una storia di immensa forza per tornare a desiderare un futuro e una vita e a non essere più prigioniero dei ricordi. È un cammino di devozione e fiducia per tornare alla luce dopo l'oscurità. Prima di iniziare a leggere questo libro vi consiglio di prestare attenzione a tutti i warning e soprattutto per chi non è abituato a scene di tortura e violenza di saltare i capitoli due e tre della parte uno. Perché qui viviamo visibilmente la prigionia di Wade in ogni azione efferata ed in ogni pensiero. Nulla è edulcorato e riusciamo ad avere la percezione tangibile della follia di Owen, il carceriere, viaggiamo nella sua mente malata ma soprattutto sentiamo su di noi ogni azione crudele, sporca per come sono scrupolosamente descritte. Blake Moreno non si è assolutamente risparmiata di sondare il lato oscuro della mente umana così come non lo ha fatto nelle introspezioni psicologiche atte a guarire. Sconvolgenti ed innumerevoli sono le sensazioni durante la lettura del percorso di guarigione. Wade con addosso il senso di colpa, la vergogna ed il disgusto, cerca di ribellarsi alla sua mente che si assenta dalla realtà e che lo riporta indietro in quella stanza delle torture; la sua disperazione e paura di non aver più un futuro, paura di restare solo, paura degli sconosciuti e di non poter mai più essere in grado di tornare colui che Russ ha amato, è straziante. Ma Russ ama disperatamente e totalmente e per Wade farebbe di tutto: senso di protezione e conforto, dedizione ed accettazione assoluta caratterizzano il suo percorso portandolo ad acconsentire a qualunque cosa pur di aiutare Wade. I protagonisti sono due eroi, entrambi sopravvissuti a qualcosa di atroce, due eroi che camminano insieme parlandosi sempre con schiettezza e sincerità. Ognuno di loro combatte con i propri demoni interiori e con quelli dell'altro, si guardano a vicenda e si aiutano per andare avanti giorno dopo giorno. La forza di Wade è innegabile, impossibile non entrare in empatia con lui, impossibile sfuggire alla sua mente che elabora e resetta. Lui è la vittima sopravvissuta che ha dalla sua parte una rete di sicurezza ed un aiuto straordinario sia dallo psichiatra, specializzato nel metodo scientifico dell'elaborazione dei ricordi e sia dai suoi migliori amici che sono la sua unica famiglia. Russ invece ha solo Wade e l'amore grande e sconfinato per lui. Eppure la forza e la tenerezza impiegata per riportare il suo compagno verso la luce, le scelte che fa ed il suo aiutarlo in modo assoluto a me personalmente ha strizzato il cuore e mi ha fatto provare tanto affetto per lui. È affascinante e coinvolgente la perizia nel descrivere il percorso psicologico atto a cambiare gli eventi nella mente di Wade, ricordandoli ma ricostruendoli secondo la sua volontà e soprattutto tenendone il controllo. Il percorso per riappropriarsi del controllo della propria sessualità è un’altalena di fortissime emozioni, a volte belle altre molto meno. Le scene messe in atto per ritrovare se stesso, trasformare la violenza in volontà, lo stupro in controllo mi ha allibito ed emozionato perché in tutto c'è solo amore, generosità reciproca e una grandezza di sentimenti altissima. Amerete oppure odierete il romanzo ma comunque vi lascerà dentro qualcosa di importante...
CONTINUA SUL NOSTRO BLOG. VENITE A TROVARCI
https://thereadingslove.blogspot.com/
May 27, 2017
Leta Blake's pen name. This is different from what I've read of hers but still the same solid quality and heart and writing with care for her characters. She has trigger warnings for the chapters 2 and 3 and they should be heeded! I powered through them, sometimes reading with my fingers covering my eyes, but surprisingly, I managed to read them without getting too triggered or upset. The way she wrote the torture/rape scenes helped a lot. It wasn't just some villain doing something bad to someone because he could.
Throughout reading this, all I could feel was compassion for Wade and what he'd gone through! I cried so many times but not in a "sobbing because I can't handle it", but more from compassion and empathy for both Wade and Russ and how they dealt with Wade's trauma and how they worked TOGETHER as a mature couple to find a new normal and to reintroduce sex to their relationship. Wade goes through some controversial therapy but hey, if it helps that's what matters, IMO. This is definitely NOT a case of magical penis helping, either. Wade and Russ work together to figure things out and Wade comes to terms on his own terms, with Russ ever-faithful and strong support at his side. Wade has a lot of fortitude and I admired how he persevered through everything.
Despite the bad things, I felt like this was a really romantic love story and I recommend it. Just take the trigger warnings (torture and rape) seriously. If you think you can handle them, I highly recommend powering through and reading them because to me, it helped round out the story and allowed us a to see what happened to Wade from his perspective and I feel like that helps us as we embark on his journey to recovery.
Throughout reading this, all I could feel was compassion for Wade and what he'd gone through! I cried so many times but not in a "sobbing because I can't handle it", but more from compassion and empathy for both Wade and Russ and how they dealt with Wade's trauma and how they worked TOGETHER as a mature couple to find a new normal and to reintroduce sex to their relationship. Wade goes through some controversial therapy but hey, if it helps that's what matters, IMO. This is definitely NOT a case of magical penis helping, either. Wade and Russ work together to figure things out and Wade comes to terms on his own terms, with Russ ever-faithful and strong support at his side. Wade has a lot of fortitude and I admired how he persevered through everything.
Despite the bad things, I felt like this was a really romantic love story and I recommend it. Just take the trigger warnings (torture and rape) seriously. If you think you can handle them, I highly recommend powering through and reading them because to me, it helped round out the story and allowed us a to see what happened to Wade from his perspective and I feel like that helps us as we embark on his journey to recovery.
Want to read
October 9, 2018💝FREE on Amazon today (10/9/18)!💝
Blurb:
"You're the strongest person I know.”
Wade Maguire and Russ Paulson are in love. After a year of passion and happiness, they’re buying a home and moving in together. Everything is rosy for them—until a jealous and insane ex from Wade’s past puts all of that to the test.
"I need to figure out if there’s a way to move past this. For both of us.”
After being kidnapped and tortured by his deranged former lover, Wade loses his ability to engage with his own sexuality or with Russ. With the help of a psychologist, EMDR therapy, and a sex plan, they work together to overcome the damage inflicted. In the process, they discover wells of love they’ve never known before.
“You never deserved what happened to you. No matter what you’ve told yourself. You only deserved love.”
As passion is reborn and their sex life reignited, Wade realizes a need to re-experience certain events in Russ’s loving arms. For Wade, the difference between pain and pleasure is love, and the difference between rape and rough sex is consent.
Blurb:
"You're the strongest person I know.”
Wade Maguire and Russ Paulson are in love. After a year of passion and happiness, they’re buying a home and moving in together. Everything is rosy for them—until a jealous and insane ex from Wade’s past puts all of that to the test.
"I need to figure out if there’s a way to move past this. For both of us.”
After being kidnapped and tortured by his deranged former lover, Wade loses his ability to engage with his own sexuality or with Russ. With the help of a psychologist, EMDR therapy, and a sex plan, they work together to overcome the damage inflicted. In the process, they discover wells of love they’ve never known before.
“You never deserved what happened to you. No matter what you’ve told yourself. You only deserved love.”
As passion is reborn and their sex life reignited, Wade realizes a need to re-experience certain events in Russ’s loving arms. For Wade, the difference between pain and pleasure is love, and the difference between rape and rough sex is consent.
February 8, 2017
DNF @6%. I read the previous reviews and knew going in that this was going to be a major recovery story for Wade. Unfortunately, I disliked Wade and didn't buy into his character. He was a frustrating lackadaisical pushover. He worked as a manny for a friend. He allowed himself to fall into an abusive friends-with-benefits relationship with closeted Owen and only left him when he met Owen's boss Russ. He had multiple bareback hookups, requiring a PreEP prescription, with Ross when they first met. He rushed into moving in with Ross. But I knew that if I continued, I wouldn't have the patience for Wade getting over a horrifying traumatic event.
December 4, 2024
M/M. Warning!! The first 25% of this book is very dark and graphic in detailing the rape and torture of one of the MC's. It might disturb some. However, the rest of the book is a good story about the brutalized man being rehabilitated by the love of his partner and friends. I do admit that at the end I wasn't sure about the boyfriend's final push to get his lover over back to "normal" (as if that would ever happen). I felt that the solution might have crossed a line or two. But overall I did really like the story.
June 13, 2021
Writing is sooooo boring and SIMPLE!
March 16, 2017
4.5 Hearts
This book comes with intense TRIGGER WARNINGS, please heed them!!
I really don’t know where to start with this book. When I say this is an unbelievably intense book, I’m not joking. There were parts that I actually had to put the book down. The author had an amazing foresight when planning out this story. You can actually skip the most horrific chapters and not really feel like you missed out on anything. I read the whole thing though and it is just about as horrible as you can imagine. This story is so well thought out, so well told. You can’t help but get sucked into the lives of these characters and despite all the pain this is a love story. A story about overcoming to unimaginable horrors, survival, recovery, and what happens next.
Wade and Russ thought they were getting their “happily ever after.” What started as hot hookups quickly turned into love which led Wade and Russ to start building their future together.
Wanting to mend a friendship in his past results in Wade being kidnapped, raped and tortured. After surviving unimaginable horrors and back safely with Russ Wade has to figure up how to pick up the pieces and build a new life with the man he loves.
I think an aspect of this story that I found remarkable was Russ’s love for Wade. It is the epitome of unconditional. His patience, his resilience, his understanding was beautiful and I also love how Wade never gave up. So many times he could have thrown in the towel but he didn’t. He kept fighting…he fought for Russ, his friends, his family but mostly he fought for himself and for the life he deserves.
This book is painful there’s no way around it but it’s also so beautiful and hopeful. I loved it.
Recommend.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
This book comes with intense TRIGGER WARNINGS, please heed them!!
I really don’t know where to start with this book. When I say this is an unbelievably intense book, I’m not joking. There were parts that I actually had to put the book down. The author had an amazing foresight when planning out this story. You can actually skip the most horrific chapters and not really feel like you missed out on anything. I read the whole thing though and it is just about as horrible as you can imagine. This story is so well thought out, so well told. You can’t help but get sucked into the lives of these characters and despite all the pain this is a love story. A story about overcoming to unimaginable horrors, survival, recovery, and what happens next.
Wade and Russ thought they were getting their “happily ever after.” What started as hot hookups quickly turned into love which led Wade and Russ to start building their future together.
Wanting to mend a friendship in his past results in Wade being kidnapped, raped and tortured. After surviving unimaginable horrors and back safely with Russ Wade has to figure up how to pick up the pieces and build a new life with the man he loves.
I think an aspect of this story that I found remarkable was Russ’s love for Wade. It is the epitome of unconditional. His patience, his resilience, his understanding was beautiful and I also love how Wade never gave up. So many times he could have thrown in the towel but he didn’t. He kept fighting…he fought for Russ, his friends, his family but mostly he fought for himself and for the life he deserves.
This book is painful there’s no way around it but it’s also so beautiful and hopeful. I loved it.
Recommend.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
January 2, 2024
***My thanks to the author first of all for gifting me with a copy of this story. You know who you are, and it's not up to me to reveal your details... I would also re-emphasise the warning at the preface of the story, and you can choose for yourself whether you wish to avoid reading about the actual attack, and instead focus on reading about Wade's battle to find himself again, and Russ's total support and sometimes misguided help.***
As for the story, well I can only applaud Russ and Wade for their absolute and total love for one another, and their strength of character....amazing. For my own part, I did feel that the 'attack' happened too early on in the story; I hadn't had time to form any sort of connection to the MC's before wham, the complete and utter psycho known as . Yes, there are typos and the author has explained why, but there certainly were not enough niggles to stop me reading this tale. 4 stars.
As for the story, well I can only applaud Russ and Wade for their absolute and total love for one another, and their strength of character....amazing. For my own part, I did feel that the 'attack' happened too early on in the story; I hadn't had time to form any sort of connection to the MC's before wham, the complete and utter psycho known as . Yes, there are typos and the author has explained why, but there certainly were not enough niggles to stop me reading this tale. 4 stars.
November 22, 2023
This was lovely and heartbreaking on that way where it tears your heart out, breaks it to pieces and then puts it back together. It is heavy. But it is heavy in a good way
October 5, 2022
Otro claro ejemplo de que cuanto más angustiosa y traumática es la historia más estrellas le dan.
Siguiendo las indicaciones de la autora me salté los dos capítulos de la abducción del prota porque no estaba yo para sufrir de más, pero es que el resto de la historia no me cuadra.
Todo el libro trata únicamente cómo lidia con el sexo después de una esperiencia tan horrible en manos de tu mejor amigo, y el resto de los traumas los "supera" de un plumazo con unos amigos majos, un médico insulso y un novio abnegado.
Quizás en mi valoración influye que la química entre ellos brilla por su ausencia y que no me creo nada de lo que leo.
Siguiendo las indicaciones de la autora me salté los dos capítulos de la abducción del prota porque no estaba yo para sufrir de más, pero es que el resto de la historia no me cuadra.
Todo el libro trata únicamente cómo lidia con el sexo después de una esperiencia tan horrible en manos de tu mejor amigo, y el resto de los traumas los "supera" de un plumazo con unos amigos majos, un médico insulso y un novio abnegado.
Quizás en mi valoración influye que la química entre ellos brilla por su ausencia y que no me creo nada de lo que leo.
Read
January 29, 2021TW: Rape, violence, kidnapping
Certainly a dark and heavy read, at least in the beginning. Not many books make me cringe, but what happened was graphically described and it was a lot to stomach. I liked seeing how much Russ and Wade loved one another and how they would do anyone for one another to battle through difficult trauma. I didn't rate because I'm in a horrible slump, but I would recommend if this is the type of story you're looking for.
Certainly a dark and heavy read, at least in the beginning. Not many books make me cringe, but what happened was graphically described and it was a lot to stomach. I liked seeing how much Russ and Wade loved one another and how they would do anyone for one another to battle through difficult trauma. I didn't rate because I'm in a horrible slump, but I would recommend if this is the type of story you're looking for.
June 27, 2019
Wonderful book. I like kinky and dark, but some scenes are really hard to read. Following Wade and Ross through the recovery process is emotional and heartwarming. Beautifully written and highly recommended.
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