A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family

by Mary Ostyn

A SANE WOMAN'S GUIDE TO RAISING A LARGE FAMILY is written from the practical, experienced perspective of a mother of ten and has thoughtful, helpful answers to important questions, such Can a mother meet the needs of multiple children without drowning in sheer neediness? How can a moderate income stretch to include more children? How can you make space in your home work for you? What are some ideas for handling mountains of laundry? How can you preserve time for yourself and your marriage? How can you manage multiple children and their activities?

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Education, Family

192 pages, Paperback

First published February 18, 2009

About the author

Mary Ostyn shares encouragement with mothers through her books, speaking engagements, and her blog at owlhaven.net. She lives in Nampa, Idaho with her husband and the youngest six of their ten children, including four daughters born in Ethiopia and two sons born in South Korea.

Reviews

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I realize I only have one child, therefore I am not yet raising a large family! Nonetheless, this book was incredibly practical and helpful. Written by a mom of ten (4 biological children, and 6 adopted) Mrs. Ostyn definitely has some experience. I think the chapters on activities, parenting hacks, and homeschooling were my favorite... But they were all good! This book is definitely a keeper, and one I will reference this again in the future as our family grows.

[Mindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since I only have one child, it might not make sense that I choose to read this book. However, I read Mary Ostyn's blog and really enjoy her parenting advice/stories, frugal living tips, and more. Mary is the mother of 10 children and has filled this book with extremely practical advice about living frugally, teaching kids how to respect other people, sibling relationships, activities for different ages, how and when to teach kids household chores, etc. She not only shares her own experiences, but also includes letters and stories from other mothers. One of my favorite quotes is from a mother of four (in talking about teaching her son to clean the kitchen): "I had to remember that my first priority was to spend time with my son. My second priority was to teach him how to clean the kitchen. My third priority was to clean the kitchen."

I'm looking forward to Mary's next book "Family Feasts for $75 a Week" that's due out in September.

[Brettnay Brazzell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a super practical read, and helpful for any mama who has or wants a large family. Having your hands full doesn't mean that your crazy or your life is a circus. The fuller your hands, the fuller your heart. Topicsw such as finances, space, vacations, education, and relationships are addressed. As a mama who hopes to have a large family, I enjoyed this lighthearted read packed with helpful tips.

[Kaitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book felt like sitting with a seasoned mom as she shared all her tips, tricks, and wisdom in an inviting way. Many times I was reminded of the things I enjoyed about growing up in a large family, and I found lots of ideas to try with my two children. I’m looking forward to putting many of her parenting tips into practice as my kiddos grow and as we have more children in the future.

[R Waterfall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to own this book when I'm a mom, haha! So many good perspectives and tips for raising a large family, and I enjoyed it even though I'm only a teenager. 😆 I loved the Christian perspective tied in as well.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good tips-- a little too much info on homeschooling and Christianity for my purposes. Overall, She seems to have a good system.

[Marti]

Ehh.

[Rachael W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Would advise all moms to read it. An absolutely wild amount of practical advice.

[Alana/MiaTheReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure with my four children that mine truly qualifies as a big family, though the amount of people who react like I said I have two husbands when I say I have four kids makes me think we probably do. =) This book had lots of good, practical advice, and I'm not saying I'd swallow all of it as absolute truth (you should never read a book that way, anyway), I got a lot of good tips and insights. The writer has ten children and I specifically appreciate her perspective that children are perfectly happy and healthy sharing rooms with siblings and doing chores together.

[Christa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn't a bad book. As a mother of a larger than average family some parts were very relatable and I could appreciate another point of view. At other times I had to keep in perspective that where she is currently raising her family is not where I am raising mine; cost of living is vastly different. It was refreshing to read a book about raising a family written by a mom/woman who understands what its like to "give it all up for her kids" (as many mothers I've come across will say). A good read even if you're just looking for key take aways.

[Alaina Gangestad · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really solid, practical, & applicable nuggets in this one…whether you’re a “large family” of three children (like me!) or a large family of ten children like the author. I really enjoyed the author’s personal stories and insights. There’s just something about getting to glean from the seasoned wisdom of a veteran mama with years of experience…and many unique kids spanning the decades! Several things, I shared with my husband as I was reading in the evenings, and he’d say, “Huh. That is a great idea. We should try that!”

[Kristen Eggert Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is something for every Mother in this book. If one is at the beginning or nearing the end of parenting, the information is good and timely. It was an excellent review for me at this time of changing family dynamics. "In a big family, you're never alone." The last 3 pages may have been the best of the whole book. I will revisit this book often, scanning sub-tiles to find the subject that I need to read about at those particular times. This really is an excellent parenting book.

[Michal Crum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of helpful pointers for managing a large household, taking time to enjoy your children, treating them as individuals instead of adopting a “pack mentality,” and growing in patience and perseverance as a mother. I really appreciated this book. I mostly skipped the chapter on schooling, mainly because the second half is on homeschooling, an option which we are very familiar with and are not currently using. All-around helpful, motivating and encouraging.

[Arumi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. So much practical advice for the logistics of managing a large family (the tips can be used from 2 kids to 10+, really). Served with a healthy dose of “this is what worked best for our family, it may not work for every family” so the advice doesn’t come across as sanctimonious. Also many other tips from other large families, so a diversity of opinions are represented. A great read!

[Massanutten Regional Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brittany, Shenandoah patron, July 2019, 5 stars:

Wonderful read for a mother (or father) of any number of kids! Lots of great info, advice & inspiration that has already made me a better parent!

[Hollie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read. I’m a homeschooling mom of 8 (oldest is 9). There are some helpful ideas in this book but none of the information was new to me.

[Ashley Jacob · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not a mom yet. But I enjoyed the book. Has alot if good ideas for whenever I bc one or a foster mom.

[sincerely · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, finished at 4 am with tears streaming and a lump in my throat as I held my precious third son. Highly recommended for all Christian moms, regardless of family size. Review to come.

[Leilani Curtis · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy read that felt like listening to some encouraging and practical advice at an older, wiser woman's table. Took away some great tidbits as I raise my own family of six kids. I enjoyed this one!

[Faith · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

[Alyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Feels like a 3.5, rounding up for the practicality level.

[Haley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I only have two kids, there was so much practical advice offered! It was also short, clear, and easily organized to find the topics and sections that are relevant.

[Eva Langton · Rating 2 out of 5]

She’s lovely. Her story is lovely. Her family is lovely. If you’re looking for encouragement, great- it’s here. But I would not say this is a guide in any sense. No new information.

[Chen Qu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brainteaser, 提醒我对小孩的态度一定要注意。这种书看的时候一定要有主心骨，选择性地吸取，不然会特别焦虑。

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the world's mindset, any more than 3 kids is considered a large family. When I mention that I have 6, I often get a look asking if I am insane! Nope, completely sane and in love with each one of them! I was so excited when a friend introduced me to this book by mother of 10,Mary Ostyn. Insight from a mom of many is always helpful.


"Not only is it possible to raise a large family without going broke or crazy, it can also be a joyous, deeply satisfying adventure"


Just how broke are we going to be?
Chapter 2 tackles the money myths of raising a child and takes a look at large family economics.


What about enough space for everyone?
De-clutter, make the space functional, and get creative. Even the small homes in America today are grand compared to many other countries! It is all about how you look at it.


What about time for activities?
Choose activities that are family oriented. Is it really necessary for all the kids to play sports and take music lessons? No it isn't. That is something they can do later in life if they choose, but often time there are enough siblings to play back yard sports with. The internet is super helpful in teaching music skills and languages even.


"People have a hard time seeing mothers of large families as normal" but we are! We aren't insane, nor are we supermoms. It takes the same characteristics to raise a larger family as it does a 'smaller' one, just maybe a little bit more of them. Important skills for each is inventiveness, flexibility, humor and patience.


This book is a valuable resource for families of any size. To take a step back and look at your household and how it runs. Cherishing those children whether 1 or 15!


I loved this book, it helped give validation to me as a Mom of a larger family, which you may find interested is that I don't always even feel like I have a large family! It is the norm for us and just feels right.


I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Staci · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not just for moms of "large families." Heaven knows, plenty of people would not consider my 2010 jump from 2 children to 4 large. I am still in the minor leagues compared to Ms. Ostyn's brood of 10.

But her insights into how she successfully manages to meet her children's needs, nurture them, teach them, run a house hold, prepare meals, deal with schedules and activities, budgeting, priorities are full of golden nuggets of inspiration and ideas. For one child families to 12 child families.

It is a book to read again and again.

She has a great sense of humor, hard-earned wisdom, and despite her large family and not-endless financial resources (who has endless financial resources with that many people I'd like to know) she actually does come across as quite sane.

I really appreciate her thoughts on managing work load, dealing with sass, personal patience, teaching kids to work, and prioritizing time.

I enjoyed this book and only didn't give it 5 stars because I wish it were longer. I think she could write a follow up with more contributions from other mothers with even more "this is what works for us" examples. Her book does have some contributions from other mothers with households ranging from two kids to twelve, and I wish her sections were longer and had even more.

I highly recommend to mothers, especially if you have more than one.

[Aprill · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I could rate it 3 1/2 stars I would. The book was good, it just wasn't the kind of book I was looking for. I felt like it was reading her blog, in the paperback form. For me personally I was looking for more specific and detailed information to help organize and balance our family before it expanse more. It had a few good ideas, but that's about it It was a very quick read. I read in less than 2 days. I'm going to try and read Large Family Logistics, in the hope it gives me the information I'm looking for.
******
Revision, Once I got towards the end of the book, then it got better. It finally gave me the kind of informtion that I was looking for. So to change my review skip chapters until you find the one your looking for.

[Emmie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the practicality and straight forwardness of this book. Mary Ostyn gives you a view into her life raising 10 kids and discusses how it works for them. She also shares others stories here and there to show different ways of doing things. I like that it is short, though in some respects I wish there had been more, particularly in the chapter dealing with money. I would have liked to have known a little more about her recipes to keep grocery costs down, but that is because of what I am seeking to do better in. My favorite chapter is on treating your kids as individuals. This was helpful and a good reminder. Overall I think this is a good book to get you thinking, I only wish for more specifics or a guide to further resources.

[Kerri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since I have 4 children, I already fall in the category of "large family" to most people - and Ostyn generously includes all those with more than two, although she herself has 10, several through adoption. This book is well written and well organized. It is succinct but thoughtful. It covers pretty much every aspect of family life. It refers to other books that go in depth on particular topics such as Love & Logic and Love Languages. I found it a refreshing review of what I am doing right, what I know I need to be doing better, as well as new tips and inspiration. Plus it is so easy to pick up/put down again when you only have a minute.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book to be best suited to someone who doesn't yet have a large family, or at least only has a slightly large one (like 4 kids) and might be considering having more children. As someone who already has 7 children, I found a few stray suggestions that might be worth trying in our household. But, this book isn't really that in-depth. A better book for ideas on how to function as a large family would be Large Family Logistics.

This book is better suited to just getting you thinking outside of the 2-child box and picturing how a large family can work. It's pretty good for that purpose, but it's not really as in-depth as what I had expected from the title.