Spy Daughter, Queer Girl: In Search of Truth and Acceptance in a Family of Secrets

by Leslie Absher

For Leslie Absher, secrecy is just another member of the family. Throughout childhood, her father's shadowy government job was ill-defined, her mother's mental health stayed off limits--even her queer identity remained hidden from her family and unacknowledged by Leslie herself.

In Spy Daughter, Queer Girl, Absher pursues the truth: of her family, her identity, and her father's role in Greece's CIA-backed junta. As a guide, Absher brings readers to the shade of plane trees in Greece, to queer discos in Boston, and to tense diner meals with her aging CIA father. As a memoirist, Absher renders a lifetime of hazy, shapeshifting truths in high-definition vibrance.

Infused with a journalist's tenacity and a daughter's open heart, this book recounts a decades' long process of discovery and the reason why the facts should matter to us all.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT

248 pages, Hardcover

Published October 11, 2022

About the author

Leslie Absher is a journalist and personal essay writer. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Huffington Post, Salon, Ms., Greek Reporter, the Independent, the San Francisco Chronicle and elsewhere. She is a regular contributor to Ms. magazine online and also contributes regularly to the Global Reports section of the print edition of Ms.

Her father joined the CIA before she was born. When she was a baby, her family moved to Athens, Greece. Just in time for a coup. She spent years trying to learn what her Cold War father’s role was in that event. Her memoir Spy Daughter, Queer Girl is about growing up with a spy and the cost of keeping secrets.

She received a master’s in education from Harvard, taught G.E.D. to high school dropouts, and currently teaches study skills and writing to middle school and high school students. She lives in Oakland with her comic book writer/lawyer wife and an abundance of cats.

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Reviews

[. . . _ _ _ . . . · Rating 2 out of 5]

White privileged μεγαλοκοπελα μας πρηζει τον πουτσο (ο μονος πουτσος που θα μπορούσε να πρηξει ως λεσβια) με τα daddy issues της σε μορφη βιβλιου, που φυσικα μας το προτεινει η φρι πρες της Γλειφω.
Η συγκεκριμενη λεσβια ζουσε που λετε πριν και κατα την διαρκεια της χουντας στην Ελλαδα, και συγκεκριμενα στο Παλαιο Ψυχικο. Ο μπαμπακας ηταν στην CIA και ειχε ερθει στην Ελλαδα για να κανει ποιος ξερει τι; Να προετοιμασει την χουντα ; Να την στηριξει; Να αδιαφορησει; Ποιος χεστηκε; Και ενω η τυπισσα εφυγε απο την Ελλαδα στα εξι της (σε προκαλω αγαπητε αναγνωστη να μου πεις τι στο διατανο θυμασαι μεχρι τα εξι σου;) σε ολο το βιβλιο παθαινει μια ανεξηγητη εμμονη με την χουντα στην Ελλαδα, βοηθησε ο μπαμπακουλης τους συνταγματαρχες; Μπου χου . Η μαμα παθαινε κρισεις μονη στο σπιτι, ενω ο μπαμπας βασανιζε κομμουνιστας; Μπου χου ξανα. Γιατι μπαμπα; Η τυπισσα ειναι ντεμεκ "δημοσιογραφος" που αυτο σημαινει κανει "ερευνα". Σιγα μωρη Μις Μαρπλ απο την Ερεσό. Ξερετε τι σημαινει ερευνα για αυτην ; Ηρθε στην Ελλαδα και πηγε να δει το λομπι του Χιλτον 30 χρονια μετα (γιατι τοτε οι κατασκοποι της CIA ετρωγαν μπεργκερς στο Χιλτον, ενω στην Ελλαδα στην καλυτερη περιπτωση τοτε ετρωγαν κιοφτεδες), πηγε να δει το κλειστο πλεον Ζοναρς μεσα απο τα σκονισμενη κλειστη τζαμοπορτα (μιλαμε η γελοιοτητα hits the ceiling), πηγε σε ενα ντεμεκ αριστερο μουσειο με κατι βασανισθεντες , στο πρωην ΕΑΤ -ΕΣΑ που την πασαρε ο ενας δημοσιος υπαλληλος στον αλλο, κατι καθηγηταδες, κατι βιβλια, γνωρισε τον Νικο Παπαναδρεου (που το μονο του προσον ηταν οτι γιος του Ανδρεα, αλλιως δεν θα ηταν ικανος να δουλεψει ουτε σε τουλετες σε μπουζουξιδικο στην Εθνικη Οδο), κατι κριντζιες "αχ ο μπαμπας μηπως ηθελε να σκοτωσουν τον Ανδρεα;" (τι κριμα γαμωτο που δεν το εκανε και ζησαμε την λαιλαπα του ΠΑΣΟΚ). Η τυπισσα θελει να νιωσει τοσο "ελληνιδα" που τρωει φυστικια Αιγινης μεχρι να πονεσει το στομαχι της (ΤΙ ΣΤΟΝ ΠΟΥΤΣΟ ΔΙΑΒΑΖΩ). Μην ανησυχεις, εισαι σε καλο δρομο. Γραφεις γνησιες ελληναραδικες κριντζιες για το τανκ "που συνεθλιψε κορμια". Με κινδυνο να φανω Λατινοπουλου (ιου), οχι δεν θα σου πω αγαπητε αναγνωστη ακροδεξιες πιπες οτι "δεν υπηρχαν νεκροι στο Πολυτεχνειο". Θα σου πω τουλαχιστον οτι δεν υπηρχαν νεκροι απο την πτωση της πορτας απο το τανκ (Μαλακα μου θα χασω φολοουερς, τι γραφω; Ζμπουτσα μου. Αν κατορθωσω να αποτρεψω εναν αναγνωστη απο το να διαβασει αυτο το χυλο,θα ειναι νικη). Οπως ανεξηγητα παθαινει εμμονη με την χουντα σε μια χωρα απο οπου εφυγε στα εξι της, ετσι γρηγορα το ξεχναει. Στο αλλο μισο του βιβλιου προσπαθει να χωνεψει οτι ειναι λεσβια, και γιατι μπαμπα δεν με αποδεχεσαι; Κανει παρεα με κατι λεσβιες (οπως κατι λεσβιες ποδοσφαιριστριες απο την Κυπρο, I am not fucking kidding), Πηγαινει στην shrink, και μυξοκλαιει, ενω στην πραγματικοτητα αυτη δεν εχει αποδεχτει τον εαυτο της, και ολο το σκηνικο "τι εγινε στην Ελλαδα πριν την χουντα", ο ντεμεκ Παπαχελας απο το Σαν Φρανσισκο δεν το χρησιμοποιει παρα σαν προφαση, σταρχιδια του Μητσαρα οτι δηθεν κοπτεται για την εγκαθιδρυση της χουντας σε μια χωρα απο οπου εφυγε στα εξι της : η σεξουαλικοτητα της ειναι που την καιει. Μισει τον μπαμπα, και ξεχναει το white priviliged κοριτσακι οτι αν δεν ηταν η δουλεια του μπαμπα, δεν θα ζουσε στο Παλαιο Ψυχικο με παραδουλευτρα στο υπογειο, ενω στην υπολοιπη χωρα δεν ειχαν καλα καλα τηλεφωνο. Ουτε ενω κανει μια δουλεια μαλλον με μικρες αποδοχες, θα εκανε ταξιδια στην Ελλαδα να τρωει συκα (no pun intended) στην Ανδρο, αν δεν ειχε πατρικη περιουσια. Α! Στο ενδιαμεσο τσακωνεται για κατι κληρονομικα με την αδερφη της : συγχαρητηρια καλη μου. Σε ολο το βιβλιο θελεις να νιωσεις Ελληνιδα, τι πιο γνησιο ελληνικο απο το να μαλωνεις με τα αδερφια σου για την κληρονομια του παππου. Μετα πεθαινει ο μπαμπας, family gathering γυρω απο το κρεβατι του νοσοκομειου,η λεσβια λυτρωνεται, συμφιλιωνεται και με την αδερφη της. Μουσικη τελους, κλαμα, standing ovation, υποψηφιο για 5 Οσκαρ, μεταξυ των οποιων Καλυτερου Gay Καλλιτεχνη Που Δεν Θα Τον Προτεινε Η Λαιφο Αν Δεν Ητο Gay, Βραβειο Α Γυναικειας Κλαψομουνας και Καλυτερων Daddy Issues ή αλλιως Βραβειο Κορτω.
ΥΓ : να αφησουν τις πιπες οι εκδοσεις Οξυ, και να βγαλουν το 6ο μερος του Αστυνομου Νταφι στα ελληνικα που το περιμενω 2,5 χρονια, το κερατο μου μεσα. Στο πρωτο βιβλιο ο στρειτ αστυνομος παει σε κατι δημοσιες τουαλετες και του παιρνουν πιπα, και ειναι και καθολικος σε μια πολη προτεσταντων. Οριστε. Περισσοτερο και ουσιωδες gay content σε μια συντομη σκηνη απο ενα ολοκληρο βιβλιο που στην ελληνικη εκδοση μας βγηκαν τα ματια με το ουρανιο τοξο στο εξωφυλλο, μην δεν το παρει ειδηση κανενας θαμωνας της Πλατειας Καρυτση.

[Molly Froelich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to have received an advanced copy of this book and I’m so glad I did. Leslie Absher tells the story of her life in a clear voice that is simultaneously strong and tender. Written in a lovely, deeply absorbing prose, it is the fascinating story of a daughter’s search for answers after a childhood of secrets living with her CIA operative father. This is a father/daughter relationship story but there is so much more. Woven throughout the book we follow Leslie’s soul connection with Greece, her mother’s difficult journey, and the emergence of Leslie’s queer identity–more secrets revealed. These threads move seamlessly together as a story of self-discovery, deep losses and grief, reconciliation, and love. Those who enjoy honest, moving, beautifully written memoirs should not miss this one!

[Caryn Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to receive an advanced copy of this incredible memoir before its release and devoured its contents in only a few short days. I could barely put it down! Leslie Absher seamlessly weaves the most compelling narratives about her past, her complicated family history, her journey of self-discovery, and her sexuality, all the while being intricately connected to the infamous Greek junta. Leslie invites us into her world with open arms, and reexamines every aspect of her life through a lens of empathy and humor, navigating painful secrets exposed and challenging family expectations that anyone can relate to. I highly recommend this book to any lover of history and profound self-exploration! I know I will be rereading (:

[Zara Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing up is hard for everyone, a difficult process of melding your understanding with the world against someone else's and the realization that external forces hold more sway over you than you’d like. For memoirist Leslie Absher, these challenges were heightened by a family steeped in secrecy, whose actions, feelings, and history were cloaked. Learning her father was in the CIA, and the reason she’d grown up in Greece, was only the first piece of the puzzle, and Absher’s compelling memoir follows her process of untangling her own past from that of her family. As she slowly unravels her father’s secrets, she’s forced to confront the grief from her mother's death, as well as come to terms with her own relationship with scary, especially when it comes to exploring her sexuality.

Absher’s search for identity and acceptance from those she loves intermingled with the Greek communist dictatorship of the sixties and seventies, and her fear— almost compulsion— to unearth the role her father played in the proceedings. Her search to understand her father hinges on her wish for him to understand him; to accept her lifestyle, her wife Susan, and for him to embrace her in the way she’d like to embrace him.

But it’s not that easy. After all, spy daughters exist in an uncomfortable place — forced into a world of secrets they didn't choose, and the weight of carrying that burden can overshadow their own life. Regular daughters don't have to sign an NDA to visit their father’s home. As Leslie grows up, she rejects the CIA American way of doing things, and travels to Greece to lose herself in their culture. But she cant escape her past, and her realization that she’ll always have a foot in both worlds leads to a deeper understanding of her father’s struggles.

[Dennis Fischman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a unique story that needed to be told, and Leslie Absher has struggled toward the moment when she could finally tell it. Along the way, she lost and she gained, and she found out more about herself, her father, the country she was born in, and the country that still holds so much of her heart. At the end of the book, I wondered if her loyalty to her father had made her take his service as the foot soldier of empire both too heavily (in terms of admiration) and too lightly (in relation to all the Greek people the U.S. hurt by supporting the junta). Yet I would not have wanted her to be less happy.

[Staci Greason · Rating 5 out of 5]

A father-daughter relationship even at its healthiest is an intricately layered complicated thing almost impossible to fully explain. Writer Leslie Absher has done a brilliant job of facing it head-on to capture the push-pull feeling of needing a father's love and often loving him unconditionally, while researching secrets from his past.

So often in memoir, the writer shines a bright light on the behavior of those around them and skirts away from including themselves in that scruntiny. Not in this memoir. Absher includes herself as she explores her thoughts and feelings about a remote secretive father, the death of a loving unwell mother, the temporary relationship loss of her sister. She candidly shares her personal experience coming out as queer, facing her father's initial rejections, and ultimately building a healthy love relationship. She wrestles with traveling to Greece to research her father's CIA involvement and then writing about it for the world to read. Absher makes no secret of her self-doubts and fears, even as she takes courageous action. This makes her a well-rounded and trustworthy narrator.

Spy Daughter, Queer Girl is a powerful, well-written memoir about the harmful effects of keeping secrets, from ourselves and those we love, and in the end, the freedom gained when we face the truth.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spy Daughter, Queer Girl tells the emotionally riveting story of Leslie Absher’s hunger to better understand and connect with her father. Aching for them to share their true selves with one another, she digs deep into the past. Along the way, she faces down fears while embracing loss and love as she journeys to reconcile what she sees and hears with all she feels. Even though this is her personal story, Leslie hits upon universal themes that I daresay strike deep chords in us all—the meaning of family, the longing to connect, and the desire to honor our own and each other’s wholeness with integrity and an open heart.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absher's page turning memoir is emotionally taught, beautifully written, tragic, and ultimately redemptive. It's tough to imagine writing about the triple whammy of having a CIA officer for a father, losing your mother at 16, and coming out of the closet in the 70's/80's. But the author does it with honest, lyrical prose that draws you in. Few memoirs combine so many relevant topics in one story (national security, sexual identity, grief, creativity, and Greek culture).

[jeanne kubrin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Curiosity prompted this read

This was an interesting story. A young gay girl struggling through adolescence and growing up with a Dad who kept his distance. He was a CIA operative so could not share most of his daily life. After reading this book- I want to visit Greece!

[Bronwyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leslie Absher’s intriguing memoir, Spy Daughter, Queer Girl, explores her relationship with her father and their struggle to accept each other. While he found Leslie’s lesbianism troubling, Leslie found his evasiveness about his secret life in the CIA deeply unsettling.

The inspiration for Leslie’s memoir came from a workshop she attended in Greece with the famous feminist and working-class storyteller, Dorothy Allison. At the end of the workshop, Leslie asked Dorothy’s opinion on whether her essay about her CIA father was ready to send out. “With that wry smile of hers she said, ‘I think it’s a book.” Leslie says she “wasn’t prepared for that answer at all.” After the shock wore off, Leslie dove into the project. Nearly twenty years later, the book Dorothy Allison envisioned is here.

Leslie says her life-long practice of journaling “gave me permission to tell my story to myself before I was ready to share it publicly.” Her journals also provided key source material to write a memoir about the two taboo topics in her family. As the project developed, she realized the story she wanted to tell was not simply an expose of her father’s role in the CIA, but her own story of how the two secrets captured in the title Spy Daughter, Queer Girl intertwined. “In my family, secrets were the air that we breathed.”

The two issues that would become central to Leslie’s memoir began to surface in the early ‘80’s while she was a boarding student at Madeira. On top of losing her mother to breast cancer during her junior year, Leslie wrestled alone with questions about her sexuality. In those days, nobody felt safe coming out, and the school offered no resources for LGBTQ students. At the same time, she suspected some of her classmates had a parent in the CIA, but nobody felt safe talking about that either. As a result, she felt locked inside two closets. Her friends, as well as some caring teachers, provided the primary support she needed to get through that difficult period. “One of Madeira’s wonderful and compassionate English teachers helped me write my first personal essay about losing my mother to breast cancer.”

According to Leslie, it was common for spy-kids to not know their parent worked for the CIA. In her family, the subject came up when she was thirteen during a Sunday drive. Her mother prompted her father to tell the girls the truth by saying, “You work for the CIA, don’t you.” Her father gripped the wheel and couldn’t speak. Leslie remembers that scene as a key moment in her childhood, “like an explosion.” Afterwards, her family’s culture of silence resumed.

Years later, Leslie broke the family silence again by coming out to her father. He reacted by saying he couldn’t accept it, but “there’s no reason for us to lose contact.” Leslie explained, “For years my father compartmentalized our secrets differently. He felt his secret was a noble one to protect the United States, while mine served to hide abnormal behavior.”

Leslie’s memoir tunnels toward the truth about her father’s work. She was grateful to have a younger sister as an ally in the family who not only accepted her sexuality without reservation, but witnessed and validated Leslie’s suspicions as they compared notes on their father’s shadowy behavior.

Sections of the memoir read like a detective novel with fascinating details about the Greek junta, a right-wing military dictatorship that ruled Greece from 1967-1974. Leslie felt driven to know if her father helped to install the anti-communist dictatorship responsible for mass imprisonment and torture. “I told him I was writing a nonfiction book about my childhood in Greece, and I think he had the idea that it was largely about his work, but he never asked me not to write it.” Even so, the idea of outing her father terrified her. “As a spy-kid, it was a deep, emotional job to allow myself to speak out about my spy-parent.”

Leslie admits she and her father were a lot alike, both stubbornly loyal to their convictions despite polarized social and political views. By the end of his life, the two had come a long way toward accepting each other and strengthening their relationship.

Writing her memoir has been a healing process for Leslie. “Ultimately, the exposure and vulnerability of writing this book has been worth it. I feel liberated, and it’s empowering to finally be seen.”

[Lee Bates · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leslie Absher’s remarkable and moving personal memoir describes her coming of age and coming out, set against a constantly shifting backdrop dominated by her father, who worked for the CIA. She vividly describes what it feels like to be uncomfortably close to the unseen might of American foreign policy as she interrogates what role her father played in the military coup in Greece in 1967. The writing is clear and unsentimental yet emotionally driven. Anyone who grew up in a military family (as I did) will share an affinity with this compelling narrative. I give this book five stars.
Lee Bates

[Rona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some books need to be written. This is one of them. It shows the author's need to know the story, her journey to tell it, as well as the history of her father's career in the CIA. What does the relocation, the secrecy, and the deep dedication to Cold War values do to a family? Is what America does the same as what an America CIA officer does?
On top of CIA secrets is a coming out story. Father = Conservative. Texas. The author, a young lesbian finds her way to love her father -- who he is and where he is. And the extent to which he loves her back -- who she is and where she is.

[fish cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

picked this up in a sf cafe during an emotionally turbulent day. i tried very hard to not cry in public and failed but i really enjoyed the vulnerability of this memoir. + i feel inspired to go read up on political instability in greece

[Marta Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I couldn't put it down! An intimate story of coming out and Family secrets! A must read! Fascinating!

[Denise Lillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spy Daughter, Queer Girl is written at once with the piercing clarity of a journalist reporting on the situation and with the private vulnerability of a journal writer. It's all the more impressive because she manages the narrative in these ways while also having respectful boundaries toward those who are directly featured in her story. Follow Leslie as she sorts out her life as the haunted daughter of an actual spy, as a dyke, and as a writer. A moving testament to the complexity of life and a pleasure to read.

[Janice Bomhoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I so admire the courage it took to make public one's most inner self as Ms. Absher has done. When the book arrived, I was just perusing it with no intention of reading it at that moment. But the first couple pages hooked me, and four hours later I finished it! Engrossing. I highly recommend it.

[Verdon]

Exposing yourself to Spy Daughter Queer Girl is like watching a flower bloom ever so slowly. With each chapter petals unfoldto reveal new secrets, new depths to the complexities of her family dynamics. Reading it on my Kindle was a treasure, then listening to it on Audible felt like the author was sitting beside me sharing her story. A fascinating journey through life shared with remarkable skill and heart.

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an interesting memoir. Picked it up from the queer nonfiction section at Lost City Books 💟 a little repetitive and corny at times (which makes sense, it’s deeply emotional and personal), but overall very very engaging. Related to author/speaker in a lot of ways.. was very moved by her skillful self-reflection digging through some intense trauma swept under the rug for a long time on various scales: from the deeply personal familial relationships in her life, to geopolitical scandals with massive implications.

[Carolyn Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

Behind the curtain of a look-good family is always compelling, but I didn't imagine how carried I would be by the suspense here and the pathos of the trek Absher made to the underworld of longing--perhaps particularly of a daughter for her father.

Nor did I reckon with how much I would be touched by Absher's evocation of familial and political silence and secrecy, on the one hand, and her refusal, on the other, to accept obfuscation or to cut off her father, and instead to seek contextual understanding and to continually reach out to him.

This is a powerful and inspiring read.

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Read this for the plot (I love anything spy-related) but stayed for the author’s relentless quest to connect with an unemotionally unavailable parent, which I deeply relate to. She never found all of the answers she wanted, but learned to make peace with the situation and with herself, which was encouraging. I’d love to read another book about her relationship with her sister- lots more to unpack there!

[Dona · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling memoir that combines self-discovery with elements of mystery, romance, history, politics, healing and redemption. Absher transports you to the beautiful gardens and landscapes of Greece in search of answers to family secrets and dynamics. This book is beautifully and poignantly written and ultimately uplifting.

[Andy Papachristopoulos · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed Leslie's book, not only because it is a well written biography of a father and a daughter trying to find a way to accept each other after many years of dismissal and distrust, but because I was in Greece from 1966 to 1969 serving in the Greek army and being assigned to JUSMAGG as an interpreter and being there on April 21 1967 when the colonels took over the government and Greece became a dictatorship. The house the Abshers rented in Palaio Psyhico was only a few houses from my best friend's house and the Hilton Hotel was across the street from the house I was borne and lived for 18 years. I am sure I saw her father many times in the elevator or the entrance of the JUSMAGG building but I never knew that the CIA had offices in the building.

[Jody Keisner · Rating 5 out of 5]

What happens when we keep the most essential parts of ourselves hidden? In Spy Daughter, Queer Girl, Leslie Absher yearns to answer this question as she confronts her family's illusiveness about her father's government job, her mother's mental health, and her own identity as a queer person. Absher seeks the facts with the eye of a reporter, but makes meaning of them with a daughter's generosity of spirit. While filling in the blank spaces of her growing up years, she comes to a rich understanding of the role of forgiveness and her place in the world.

[Matthew Riutta · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling, honest, confident, and affirming memoir by Absher. I was captured and inspired by the author's unrelenting global quest to know the truth about her family and her CIA-father (a world that is both new and intriguing to me). What I was not ready for is how universal and relatable Absher's story is and how it resolved many questions about my relationship with my own dad.

[Melissa Fondakowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leslie Absher is a beautiful writer, and an excellent storyteller. I was gripped by this story of a young woman trying to make sense of her life: her own identity, her family's identity, and a father she knew, but hardly knew. This story is less about spies and secrets than it is about what it takes to truly come to understand yourself--the commitment to that journey, an openness to learning, and an ability to accept hard truths about yourself and others--and ultimately forgive all the pain and grudges and suffering to come to a place of healing. My life growing couldn't have been more different from Absher's, but the insights she shares along her path to healing reflected my own life back to me in so many ways. It's a quick read, and 100% worth it.

[Rachel B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really could hardly book this book down. Besides being really well written, I was intrigued but the subject matter, something I knew nothing about. I loved learning about Leslie's relationships with each person in the book and watching her relationships change and grow over time. It was so nice to see an honest exploration of some very tender and challenging topics in family life and world history.

[Carolyn Lee Arnold · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relatable longing to know her father
Leslie Absher’s fascinating search to uncover the truth about her father’s CIA involvement in the Greece coup in the 60s when her family was living there is absorbing from beginning to end. It’s a one-sided daughter-father love story for a father who hid himself from her, and her attempt to open him up before and after his death. All of us who long to be close to our fathers can relate or empathize. Her ponderings and distress about the secrets her CIA father may hold and the truth it may hold about her drive her dogged, decades-long research on the coup, the CIA’s involvement, and her father’s part. Her questions about how openly queer to be in her life parallel her longing for her father to be more open, and show us how we can love someone even if they don’t act the way we want them to. A satisfying blend of her life as a spy daughter and queer girl.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spy Daughter, Queer Girl – This book really touched me.

I picked up this book because it looked interesting and intriguing. It is both things, and more. At its heart, this is a love story. It chronicles the author’s search for love for her father and for herself via her search for truth about each. Her discoveries are liberating and transformative. In the end, love and acceptance prove to be the truths that matter most. This book really touched me. I would enjoy seeing this rich and moving story made into a movie.

[Stephanie Feldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is about family secrets--dad's CIA job, mom's precarious mental health, daughter's queer identity--the price of holding onto them, and the challenge of setting them free. Absher's account is both a sensitive analysis of withholding parents and a vivid tale of life under Greek dictatorial rule.

[Rebecca Brenner Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

SPY DAUGHTER, QUEER GIRL is a memoir by writer Leslie Absher, who lost her mom too young, had a dad in the CIA, & discusses coming out, too. I first encountered the book bc the author graduated from the boarding school where I now teach history down the street from the CIA. the writing is descriptive, introspective, & thoughtful. my favorite part by far was toward the end when researching & writing her story became part of the memoir itself. I love to read writing about writing, especially when part takes place in Athens. massive respect for the author as she reclaims her own story!