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Dear Mothman

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Poet and author Robin Gow’s moving middle-grade novel in verse Dear Mothman is about a young trans boy dealing with the loss of his friend by writing to his favorite cryptid.

Halfway through sixth grade, Noah’s best friend and the only other trans boy in his school, Lewis, passed away in a car accident. Adventurous and curious, Lewis was always bringing a new paranormal story to share with Noah. Together they daydreamed about cryptids and shared discovering their genders and names.

After Lewis’s death, lonely and yearning for someone who could understand him like Lewis once did, Noah starts writing letters to Mothman, wondering if he would understand how Noah feels and also looking for evidence of Mothman’s existence in the vast woods surrounding his small Poconos town. Noah becomes determined to make his science fair project about Mothman, despite his teachers and parents urging him to make a project about something “real.”

Meanwhile, as Noah tries to find Mothman, he also starts to make friends with a group of girls in his grade, Hanna, Molly, and Alice, with whom he’d been friendly, but never close to. Now, they welcome him, and he starts to open up to each of them, especially Hanna, whom Noah has a crush on. But as strange things start to happen and Noah becomes sure of Mothman’s existence, his parents and teachers don’t believe him. Noah decides it’s up to him to risk everything, trek into the woods, and find Mothman himself.

313 pages, Hardcover

First published March 21, 2023

117 people are currently reading
4281 people want to read

About the author

Robin Gow

19 books218 followers
Gow grew up in rural Pennsylvania and lives in Allentown Pennsylvania with their two pugs, Eddie and Gertie and their queer family. He works at Bradbury-Sullivan LGBT Community Center coordinating supportive services for the local LGBTQIA+ community.

Awarded the Jerry Cain and Scott James Creative Writing Fellow, Gow earned their MFA in Creative Writing from Adelphi University where they also taught writing courses as an adjunct professor.

Gow runs the trans & queer reading series Gender Reveal Party and co-edits the new magazine The Comments Section.

Robin is the author of the chapbook Honeysuckle by Finishing Line Press and the collection Our Lady of Perpetual Degeneracy by Tolsun Books.

Their first YA novel in verse, A Million Quiet Revolutions, is forthcoming March 2022 with FSG Books for Young readers and their first essay collection, Blue Blood, is forthcoming with Nasiona Publishing House.

They is a managing editor The Nasiona and the assistant editor at large at Doubleback Books. They served for four years as the production editor of the Lantern literary magazine and are Social Media Coordinator for Oyster River Pages. They has also worked to help produce several zines and taught creative writing workshops in a variety of community spaces, including online forms.

They are an out and proud autistic bisexual genderqueer man passionate about LGBTQIAA+ issues.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 630 reviews
Profile Image for jay.
1,086 reviews5,929 followers
January 10, 2023
welcome to 202-Queer 🌈✨, the year where i only read queer books and cry over cryptids 🌈✨


i know it's like the first week of january but i think that's it. we can stop looking. i have found my favourite book of 2023, maybe my favourite book of all time.


never in my life have i felt more seen by a book. noah's gender identity journey hit so close to home. i started crying on page two because it was just ... it's like finally being understood.


i loved everything about this. i loved how it's structured as letters to (mostly) mothman. i loved noah's exploration of his identity. i loved him making new friends. i loved how all of this was tied to his grief for his best friend and how delicately all the topics were handled. i loved the comparison of cryptids to queer people.


why did none of you tell me that THIS is what middle grade is like nowadays. they didn't write middle grade like this back when i was a child. imagine i had this as a twelve year old. i'm so happy for today's kids.


i received a digital copy through Edelweiss (all thoughts and feelings expressed are my own etc.) but i'm definitely buying a physical copy for myself once this is out

and i think all my queer and trans friends should consider giving this book a go as well


oh and also, needless to say, i'm a mothman believer now



"Almost all of them still think me being "Noah" is just a game that me and Hanna and Alice and Molly play.

They don’t understand that being trans is magical and awesome and where I feel at home."





I HAVE RECEIVED AN ARC!!!!!!! AGAHHAHAHHAHHA

I'M PRETTY SURE MY ENTIRE PITCH WAS "i'm trans so you should give this to me" AND THEY DID!!!!!!*!*!*?#(€+

I TRIPPED OVER A SIX-PACK OF WATER AND FELL ON THE FLOOR WHILE READING THE EMAIL

anyway, i will be insufferable for weeks to come
--

me: look at this cute little cover and a trans boy mc? i'm so happy 🥹🥹🥹

*reads the synopsis*: oh this will kill me huh 🥹🥹🥹
Profile Image for Steph.
861 reviews475 followers
August 3, 2023
a super sweet, honest, sometimes painful middle grade novel about a trans kid coping with grief and searching for his favorite cryptid. it strikes a difficult balance, remaining appealing for its young audience while being filled with insightful metaphors about coming of age into a queer identity.

i don't think i've ever read such a young trans novel, about a middle school kid who is exploring his identity so tentatively. he already knows his name is noah, but at the beginning of the novel, the only person he's come out to is lewis, his dead best friend. noah grows with appropriate little bursts, eventually asking his parents, teacher, and new friends to call him noah. but he doesn't make unrealistic bounds; he remains a sweet baby trans kid, still in the process, still with many unanswered questions.

and there are lots of questions about existence, about the power of belief and perception. this is where mothman comes in. noah does so much pondering about what constitutes being one thing or another, and having faith in what feels true. there are so many huge beautiful queer cryptid metaphors, all intensified by the grief of losing lewis, noah's only ally at the start.

toward the end noah embarks into the forest to find mothman, and there are some odd perspective shifts. up until here the book is only told from noah's perspective, both in first person narration and in epistolary letters to mothman. but when noah enters the forest, we get the perspective of his best friend, hanna. when hanna enters the forest, we get a third person perspective following the two of them. these shifts feel a little strange, but ultimately the book has a beautiful ending regardless.

there is beauty and hope in the unknown, in unanswered questions. noah talks about feeling like a cryptid, maybe monstrous and fearsome, but maybe mysterious and powerful. it's a whole new wholesome twist on queer horror.
Profile Image for Starr ❇✌❇.
1,738 reviews163 followers
March 15, 2023
I received an ARC from Edelweiss
TW: grief, fatal car accident (off page), bullying, mentioned transphobia, accidental deadnaming & misgendering
4.2

If you would like to cry queer tears- hello, open up this book.
Dear Mothman is a novel in verse about a trans middleschooler dealing with the death of his best friend- a grief compounded by 1) being the only one who knows his friend’s name and gender and 2) having fallen for him. To deal with this onslaught of emotions, Noah tries to bring Lewis’ intended science project to life- proving Mothman exists.


As you can probably already tell, this is an extremely emotional and tender story. Noah’s way of dealing with things, so new to him and so awful, really feels organic and brings the kind of innocent hope as well as disordered grief that only a child can feel. The exploration of first loss and new love worked really well, and both aspects of Noah's emotional state felt true and important. I love the way Noah is treated by the text- gently, compassionately, but also taken seriously.

I also enjoyed the verse, and the way in which actul letters, journal updates, and work for the sciece project were all integrated. It kept the stream of conciousness in most areas, and yet broke things up not to be too repetitive.

For the most part I think the magical realism elements are done extremely well. In some ways Mothman can be a stand in for the unknown- a figure for this world Noah is living in that the people around him can't connect to or understand, because of his gender identitiy or because of the temporary state of childhood. Mothman's existence validates a lot of things, but in some ways it also means tackling Lewis' death head on, and the other changes and steps towards adulthood Noah has to deal with. And so Mothman is able to be tis mysterious, wanted thing being coaxed out and able to provide safety and even comfort, but he is also a specter and genuinely frightening. I loved the scenes of fear, the uncertainty of the figure in the door and the startled awareness of what is true.

Though I'm on the fence about how these elements play out in the end, personally. The ending is emotionally done well, but the magic landed in a weird way, and the continuation of prose with the POV switch seemed a little forced.

This is a beautifully written, queer story, and one I think you can enjoy and connect to at any age.

Pre-review comments below
Do I regularly read middlegrade? No. Am I absolutely going to read this trans-led mothman-centric middlegrade and then scream about it for 20 years? Uh. Yeah. Obviously.

Update I got an arc! 😍🥳
Profile Image for Jan Agaton.
1,391 reviews1,577 followers
March 12, 2024
this took way too long for me to finish, but definitely not the book's fault because it was really well done and captured a kid's, albeit a very smart kid's, voice pretty accurately in my opinion. i loved the storyline and how emotional it got. i wasn't expecting certain things that happened, but they upped my heartrate for sure. this is a beautiful story about a queer kid figuring things out after his best friend dies, and mothman is just a bonus.
Profile Image for Solly.
628 reviews39 followers
August 7, 2024
This was soooo good. I so wish I'd had this book when I was a child. I'm deeply in love with monsters/cryptids as a representation of queerness and especially transness, but the fact that Mothman also represented grief in this really GOT me. I was tearing up left and right and I don't even cry that easily. So many littles lines that got me right in the feels. I listened to this as an audiobook but I'll definitely have to consider buying a physical copy someday.
Profile Image for yare.
264 reviews1 follower
August 27, 2023
i actually love that its quite a common experience for queer folks to relate themselves to monsters! i remember relating myself to frankenstein's monster in a school project and feeling a little silly for doing so but knowing other people feel comfort in the creatures that go bump in the night makes me happy (:

so well written, i love poems and books written in an epistolary fashion. i really like how the motive noah has for finding mothman changes from keeping lewis' memory and beliefs alive, to being something he does for himself to further understand his identity as a trans person.
Profile Image for akacya ❦.
1,832 reviews318 followers
April 24, 2025
2025 reads: 83/300

content warnings: grief, child death, bullying, transphobia, ableism

grieving his best friend, lewis’s, death, noah begins writing letters to mothman, his and lewis’s favorite cryptid. he’s determined to make his science fair project about mothman and sets out to find him. as he works on this project, he becomes friends with hanna, molly, and alice, whom he can be himself around.

this book serves as a good reminder for us all that we never truly grow out of middle grade books. despite being so different from noah, i saw so much of myself in him. i wish i’d had this book when i was noah’s age, also dealing with grief from losing a friend and beginning to realize i was different from others, but i’m so, so glad i have it now. i can’t even properly express how much i loved this book. dear mothman is not a book i will soon forget.
Profile Image for Becca.
501 reviews33 followers
June 11, 2024
Oh no what a sweet, sad, hopeful triumph of a book.

Equal parts A Monster Calls and Melissa but also so much more, Dear Mothman follows 6th grader Noah, who is grieving the sudden loss of his best friend Lewis. He decides to make his science fair project an homage to Lewis, who was fascinated by cryptids and especially Mothman.

Noah’s teacher and parents are confused by his determination to apply the scientific method to Mothman research and worry about false starts and hopes. Despite their doubts, Noah persists, and the project is an unexpectedly healing and brave venture that leads Noah to interrogate what our society deems monstrous and threatening, and why.

Noah is such a pure and innocent character surrounded by harmful forces much larger than himself. He comes to understand, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Mothman is hardly one of them.

A perfect Pride Month read for the weird queer kids using the library, and also for me, a weird queer adult working here. For fans of A Monster Calls, Melissa, Let’s Call It a Doomsday, and I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself.
Profile Image for Megan Rose.
229 reviews33 followers
May 10, 2023
I have not cried this much from reading in a long time 😭
Profile Image for Sharon.
1,464 reviews103 followers
May 12, 2024
CW: bullying, grief, anxiety/panic attack, misgendering, deadnaming (sort of), outting, (mentioned) child death, (mentioned) car accident

BABY I love Noah. 😭🥹🥰 🦋🕺🏻 (<--my best rendering of Moth Man in emojis)
Profile Image for Alicia.
2,557 reviews82 followers
Read
July 4, 2023
I thought this would be a quick read being in verse, but no. Those lines are teeny and crammed onto the page, and I never really got into a flow with the writing. It got quite repetitive at times and I didn’t really appreciate the meandering (I’m hesitant to call it a plot). The autism aspect is barely mentioned and beyond a line of two not present on the page.
It had a lot of potential but I found underwhelming.
Profile Image for Andy Phillips.
6 reviews
September 5, 2024
Please if you are at all in the trans umbrella or even just queer read this, its like a literary hug
Profile Image for Malli (Chapter Malliumpkin).
993 reviews113 followers
May 30, 2023
ARC was given by NetGalley & Abrams in exchange for an honest review.

Content/Trigger Warnings: Grief, loss of a loved one, talk of automotive accident (off page), bullying, talk of anxiety, scene of accidental dead naming & misgendering, mentions of transphobia


"And, Mothman, it was the first time in a long time, I didn't feel so alone."


I wasn't expecting to get so soft and squishy over this book or to fill out five whole pages full of quotes. This book just came in and took me by storm. I knew I'd love this book for the Mothman, cryptid goodness and the trans representation, but this book is so much more. It's about grief and healing from that loss, a discovery of figuring out oneself and who we are, and found family themes.

We follow Noah, a trans boy navigating middle school, all while dealing with the death of his best friend and first love, Lewis. Noah faces many conflicting feelings of not just knowing who Lewis truly was, but trying to navigate with life, and school without the only person who made his world feel okay, feel seen for who he truly is. When the school's science fair approaches, Noah uses this as an opportunity to make Lewis's science fair project come to life - finding Mothman and proving he exists. Even though this is no easy task, Noah is determined and long the way will make new friends and coming to terms with many thoughts, and feelings too.

"I wonder if Mothman ever lost someone. I wonder if Mothman feels like he lost Lewis too."


I really enjoyed the fact that this book is told in verse. To feel like you're opening up the pages of the journal and feeling like you were reading the letters themselves. It even adds more feelings onto it once you get to the end of the story and you find out what happens to the journal Noah was using to write these letters in. Also, we get letters from Hanna as well. Now, this is closer to the 75% mark of the book and the way Noah's and Hanna's letters overlap each was very well written. I really enjoyed the way it represented the aspect of time and how they were both writing their letters at the same moment. It was a very lovely touch.

The magical realism was done really well. With magical realism, I don't always like to put emphasis on it because I prefer the readers to go experience it themselves, but this was just beautifully handled and I feel like I have to talk about it. The way Mothman is used as a focal point for the unknown, a world where not many people can connect to, not just with Noah being trans, but also when it comes to believing in the supernatural or any bigger mystery out there. On the other hand, we see Mothman helping Noah tackle the loss of Lewis, head on and help with the healing process, in the terms of these letters. And in small ways, we see how Mothman helps with other small changes and the scary side of preparation for adulthood. The way the author chose to write Mothman almost as a 'jack of all trades' was stunning, as well. Mothman gets to be the mysterious, unknown terrifying supernatural being, but we get a softer side of a cryptid who is beautiful, comforting, and able to provide almost safety for those who need it. It's probably one of my favorite ways of seeing Mothman being described and I think it made me love Mothman even more.

"I think monsters are here to make people like me feel less alone."


I mentioned found family and you know, it's a theme that I love with my whole chest. There's a found family element laced in this book as Noah tries to make new friends. The way LARPing is used as tool to bridge both Noah's world and this other group of kids together was just perfection. It made my heart so warm and soft. Even more so when we see Noah getting close with all of them, but most Hanna. The way those two become close to one another was just lovely to read about.

"I hope you have people who make you feel less alone. If you don't, I can be that for you. Your friend, Noah."


Overall, there's so much I could say about this book because there's so many themes in this book to unpack. With this book being just over a hundred pages, I think the best thing I can tell you is to just pick it up and read it for yourself. I truly loved this book. The only thing I had issues with was it felt a little repetitive at times, but still such a beautifully captivating middle grade read. I think if you're looking for more queer books that have important themes, but also has some cryptid magic, then you need to give this book a chance!

The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

Instagram|Ko-fi|Throne
Profile Image for Heather Duvall.
242 reviews3 followers
May 29, 2025
such a good book!
Noah is an autistic trans boy who lost his best friend in a car accident. This book navigates grief, romance, LGBT+ issues, and other serious topics for middle aged kids like Noah himself. Absolutely recommend.
Profile Image for Emily Kleinhenz.
674 reviews4 followers
July 20, 2023
How do you survive when your best freind (and the only person who truly understands you and your trans experience) dies suddenly? Well, Noah writes to Mothman (though Noah isn’t sure Mothman is real) to do a science experiment to understand if Mothman is real or not. Along the way, Noah befriends a group of kids. Told from a series of letters and first person narration, this beautifully poignant and heartbreaking novel discusses grief, queerness, neurodivergence, friendship, and learning to let people see the real you.

I fully support Noah’s idea that Mothman is queer. Noah makes a really interesting case and I think there was a reason that queer and neurodivergent people tend to like cryptids (speaking as a queer who likes cryptids). I also really love to see Noah’s relationship with Mothman change and his relationships with his friends and family change. I really love how the author actually wrote the novel (in a novel in verse and the way the poems change which side of the page they are depending on the person). This is truly a great novel.
Profile Image for Jenna-booklooksbyjenna.
214 reviews77 followers
September 2, 2023
sobbing my EYES out this book was so beautiful and talks about greif, loneliness, and queerness in such a comforting way
Profile Image for mikael.
109 reviews14 followers
March 20, 2024
I had no idea that books were even written about The Autistic Urge to Live in the Woods…. and I feel so much more seen because of it.
Profile Image for Bek (MoonyReadsByStarlight).
425 reviews86 followers
August 25, 2023
An epistolary novel told in verse, Dear Mothman follows Noah - a closed trans, autistic sixth-grader - after the death of his best friend, Lewis. Noah decides to write to Monthman, a cryptid that Lewis loved, and find proof that he exists. More than that, this is a story about greiving, friendship, queerness, and growing up.

We watch as Noah makes friends and grows, even while still remembering and greiving. There is so much about finding your people, understanding and being understood - but also the struggle of communicating and opening up enough to let people understand you.

So much about this book was incredible and touching, it's hard to put it into words. It takes some unexpected turns and was healing and cathartic in a way that only queer middle grade/YA lit can be.
Profile Image for Brittany De Sousa.
273 reviews12 followers
February 26, 2024
This book was so sweet!

Sixth grader Noah has lost his best friend, Isaac, in a car accident. To honour his memory, he decides that he’s going to find mothman, and begins writing letters to mothman.

This book made me sob - Noah was born Nora, but has realised that he is trans. Isaac was the only one who knew, as he was also trans. Noah’s letters are filled with loneliness, fear of his parents and his classmates rejecting him, and his hope that he’ll accomplish what his best friend always wanted to.

Noah decides to open up to some classmates, and starts making friends who help him try to find mothman. His parents don’t understand why he’s so fixated on this, but them and his teacher try to guide and help him with his project.

This book is a beautiful story that is perfect for middle-grade children, for teens, as well as adults. If anything in this review sounded interesting to you, I highly recommend reading this story!
Profile Image for BrookesMoon.
112 reviews48 followers
October 10, 2025
Did not expect a middle grade book about mothman would make me cry the way this did but I did many many times. How much I related to this was far too accurate. This is about a young trans boy who is having to come to terms with losing his best friend far too early. Feeling alone in his grief and also queer identity he turns to writing letters to mothman who may be communicating with him. There is so much charm and sadness and beauty in this story that shows what it’s like to grow up queer and not understand, but also to deal with a heavy emotion like grief at such a young age. And I related to both of those things in a way that surprised me. Loved this book. It needs to be widely read.
Profile Image for Rah Apitz.
60 reviews1 follower
September 11, 2025
an essential read for trans people i’m afraid

this book is a grief-ridden love letter to the otherness of growing up queer and neurodivergent. to relating to the monster in the woods, and believing that it can be kind because you are.
Profile Image for Kai.
47 reviews1 follower
September 25, 2025
This one got me good guys it felt so relatable and hit home so much like.. fuck
This book was so beautiful and such a amazing journey of grief, trans-ness and seeing the monster in yourself and still knowing it is full of kindness

Easy 5 stars
Profile Image for connie.
1,562 reviews102 followers
April 12, 2023
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This review is also available on my blog!

After Noah's best friend, Lewis - another trans boy, and the only person Noah was out to - dies in a car accident, Noah begins to leave notes for Mothman, who Lewis believed lived in the woods behind their homes. Their combined research project into Mothman becomes Noah's alone, as he tries to comprehend his grief, and his relationship with his own trans identity now his best friend is gone. A perfect introduction to novels in verse, and especially accessible for younger readers, Dear Mothman is a standout of the middle grade, and cryptlit, genres.

Do you ever get cold? If you do get cold you aren’t like me. Do you wear a chest binder or do you bind with great broad leaves from deep in the forest? Lewis was sure you were queer like us.

Dear Mothman hits every emotional beat perfectly, drawing on the form - internal monologue sections as well as letters addressed to Mothman - to really contrast the self Noah projects to others in comparison to his own personal turmoil. Noah finds solace in the letters he writes, and his eventual research into Mothman as a figure. Mothman becomes something Noah can project his own feelings of alienation onto, both because of his trans identity, and because he's lost the only person who's ever seen Noah and accepted him for who he is. Cryptids are a perfect metaphor for the experience of queer people.

There is no one left I can pretend to be a boy with now other than you. When does pretending end? Am I a boy because I wish I was? Really, I want to be a boy with Lewis. I’m wondering what it would mean to be a boy without him.

Mothman was also Lewis's favourite cryptid, so Noah's attempt to reach out, to prove his existence, is a transference of his own desire to somehow find Lewis still alive. It's heartbreaking, and entirely relatable, as someone who became increasingly obsessed with cryptids when handling my own feelings of alienation from my own body and from everyone around me, as well as grief over losing people close to me. There's something comforting about cryptids and the supernatural, especially to queer people, that cannot be denied, and Gow perfectly captures this relationship in this novel.

When Mom woke me up that night and led me down to the living room sofa to tell me Lewis was in a car crash and that he was not all right I hoped he would be a ghost. I looked for him in our favorite spots but I never found him. If Lewis isn’t a ghost then no one would be. That’s why I don’t really think I believe in ghosts.

Everything about this novel feels personal and real, from its exploration of grief to the way Gow presents the feelings of a trans boy who isn't quite aware of the wider scope of trans experience (and community) yet, and still finds people who see him and accept him for who he knows he is. It's a wonderful novel about acceptance and grieving that doesn't shy away from the heavier feelings children have after experiencing something as traumatic as sudden loss. For those looking for a text that could potentially help children in their life going through a significant loss or understanding their own trans and queer identity, Dear Mothman is the perfect read.

Were you saying “goodbye”? I don’t think I can say that yet.



original review:
As someone who became obsessed with mothman nearly adjacent to the start of my own intensified experience of dysphoria when I was sixteen, I really appreciate this book and everything it could do for young trans kids who need some of the loneliness to abate.
Profile Image for BooksAsDreams (Tiffany).
289 reviews8 followers
June 4, 2024
I loved this book! It’s a fantastically neat concept and addresses issues important to young people.
Profile Image for Peacegal.
11.7k reviews102 followers
July 19, 2023
3.5 stars--Middle school is never easy, but Noah is having a more difficult time than most. His best friend, Lewis, passed away suddenly in an accident, and his struggles with grief and making new friendships is compounded with his hesitancy to share his identity as apparently the only transgender kid in class and also living on the autism spectrum. Lewis was a cryptid enthusiast, and Noah attempts to connect with the memory of his friend by becoming increasingly involved in researching and looking for the legendary Mothman.

The Mothman angle caught my eye and made me want to read this sweet, big-hearted junior novel. I’ve loved the Mothman legend for years and have a (sort-of) family connection to the story. It’s creatively written in prose, mostly in a series of Noah’s diary-like letters to the mysterious creature.

The text isn’t perfect; there are some typos, for example, the date of the first reported Mothman sightings are occasionally miswritten as 1996 instead of 1966. On a more personal note, the overly frequent use of the word “like” throughout the text grated on me after a while. Yes, I realize this is true to the way many kids this age (and far older) speak, but that doesn’t mean that lines such as “My journal was like soaking wet” still won’t make me wince.

DEAR MOTHMAN is a thoughtful, inventive book with a likeable and compassionate main character. I’m happy I ran across it in my library.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 630 reviews

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