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Beautiful Union: How God's Vision for Sex Points Us to the Good, Unlocks the True, and (Sort of) Explains Everything
A powerful call for Christians to understand sex as a window into God's story of redemption, and a validating guide to living with authentic love in a changing culture—from the influential pastor and author of The Skeletons in God’s Closet.
Beautiful isn’t likely the first word that comes to mind when we think about sex.
Our reactions are as varied as our experiences and backgrounds. Perhaps the word brings up past baggage. Perhaps it holds yearning for a dream that has never come true. Maybe we would rather not talk about it. Maybe it’s all we want to talk about. Around us, our culture is divided by this topic. On one side, “progressive” voices seek to dismantle historic Christian teachings to fit current norms. On the other side, “conservative” voices can reinforce messages of shame, judgement, and repression.
Beautiful Union offers a third way, one that is both true and beautiful. It gives us a provocative, positive look into the deepest Christian understanding of sex . . . and what sex reveals about God, our world, and even ourselves. Through biblical teaching and livable, joyful answers to our tough questions about sexuality, author and pastor Joshua Ryan Butler shows how sex illuminates the structure of creation, the nature of salvation, the abundance of God’s kingdom, and God’s heartbeat for the world.
Discover afresh the beautiful invitation of our sexuality . . . as God intended it to be.
Beautiful isn’t likely the first word that comes to mind when we think about sex.
Our reactions are as varied as our experiences and backgrounds. Perhaps the word brings up past baggage. Perhaps it holds yearning for a dream that has never come true. Maybe we would rather not talk about it. Maybe it’s all we want to talk about. Around us, our culture is divided by this topic. On one side, “progressive” voices seek to dismantle historic Christian teachings to fit current norms. On the other side, “conservative” voices can reinforce messages of shame, judgement, and repression.
Beautiful Union offers a third way, one that is both true and beautiful. It gives us a provocative, positive look into the deepest Christian understanding of sex . . . and what sex reveals about God, our world, and even ourselves. Through biblical teaching and livable, joyful answers to our tough questions about sexuality, author and pastor Joshua Ryan Butler shows how sex illuminates the structure of creation, the nature of salvation, the abundance of God’s kingdom, and God’s heartbeat for the world.
Discover afresh the beautiful invitation of our sexuality . . . as God intended it to be.
288 pages, Paperback
Published April 11, 2023
26 people are currently reading
224 people want to read
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April 15, 2023
Here is every quote from the book where he equates God with Semen. This book is pagan fertility worship at best. For a book that is supposed to be the authority on Christian sexual ethics, he never mentions the clitoris or the female orgasm even a single time. He is really into the life-giving power of semen and has maybe never read a book on female anatomy which would have helped him see that the female sex organ and counterpart to the penis is the clitoris and the clitoris plays no role whatsoever in procreation - this book centers and worships male sex.
Anyways, here are the quotes:
"This should be shocking! It’s not only the giving of your vows at the altar but what happens in the honeymoon suite after that speaks to the life you were made for with God. A husband and wife’s life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! We’ll get to marriage soon enough in this book, but let’s start with this gospel bombshell: Sex is an icon of salvation. How? I’d suggest the language of generosity and hospitality can help us out." Pg 3
"You give the best you’ve got to give, lavishly pouring out your time, energy, or money. At a deeper level, generosity is a giving of not just your resources but your very self. And what deeper form of self-giving is there than sexual union where, particularly for the husband, he pours out his very presence not only upon but within his wife?"Pg 4
"The groom enters into the bride with his presence, while the bride receives the presence of the groom within herself". pg 12
"No, the grace God gives is his very self, his Spirit, the presence of his love poured into your heart, that warms your affections and re-animates your life through giving and receiving, through reciprocal, welcome, and loving union with him. God’s grace within us frees us to give ourselves fully to the God who is for us. On the other side, with grace, there’s what we might call the “Go become the groom” danger: God is out there waiting for you to rise up, get your act together, and impress him. You gotta get Jesus’s attention, so put on the makeup and high heels and go out to win his affection." pg 14
"In some circles, the phrase has become so ubiquitous as to become a cliché: Have you received Jesus into your heart? But it is a powerful phrase worth retaining—for it speaks to the heart of the gospel. Christ has come to dwell within our hearts as his people, renewing our greatest affections and desires from the inside out with his love.Sex as icon adds another layer of symbolism: corporately, the church receives Christ into her gut, or loins, a biblical image for a place both intimate and vulnerable, the seat of strength and vigor, and the center of procreative power. Christ’s indwelling presence reaches within even these foundational depths for us as his people, and he makes us fruitful. The church is the bride of Christ." pg 20
"The groom declares, “I am heaven, you are earth,” while the bride responds, “I am earth, you are heaven.” While the Bible doesn’t tie masculinity to sky and femininity to land in the same way, it’s easy to see why an agricultural society would. The earth receives heaven’s presence through rays of sun that warm her surface and nurturing rain that sinks within, as the seed penetrates the soil from above. Life is nurtured and grown within, hidden in the darkness of her womb below, until the crops are ready to emerge. When the time has come, the harvest bursts up from the clay, into the open arms of the awaiting atmosphere. Heaven and earth share these “children”—with roots below and head above—that their mutual embrace has brought into existence." pg 30
"While lover and beloved can both be people, love itself is always a thing—an abstract force or impersonal bond between them. Or, at least, almost always." pg 36
"Orgasm, ideally, occurs at the height of physical union. Its ecstasy is shared between lover and beloved, at the climactic point where they can bring forth love. The unitive and procreative dynamics of sex are most powerfully charged in this consummation of one flesh toward the generation of flesh and bone. All three persons are proleptically present in the moment of union: with the second ready to proceed forth from the first, carrying his life within her, and the third ready to proceed forth from them both, conceived through their union." pg 46
"Now, this is not “dirty.” Semen is often a source for crude jokes in our culture. In the Bible, however, it’s the source of life. It’s associated with the river of life—an image for the Spirit—shared through beautiful union." pg 65
"What does the semen represent? God’s Word and Spirit." Pg 65
"Similar to how semen is both seed and liquid, God plants the seed of his Word within and pours the river of his Spirit upon the parched and barren soil of our lives. Christ impregnates the church with the seed of his Word and the presence of his Spirit, which conceives us within her as children of God, who grow to emerge newborn into the kingdom." pg 66
"The glorious Groom lifts you up from your alienated estate to join his bride, filling you with his Spirit’s indwelling presence, and welcoming you into the Father’s expansive embrace, as he pulls the pieces of your rent humanity back into radiant union with God." pg 91
"Jesus left his mother, Mary, at the cross, to consummate the covenant with his bride." Pg 117 (this is in one of his semen is a sacrificial gift that saves the world section)
"Abortion violates a symbolic order. If the Spirit is the river of life, abortion is a slash-and-burn policy against the harvest emerging upon the banks of the kingdom." pg 146 (abortion is evil bc it's wasted semen)
"As we’ve seen, Eve receives Adam’s indwelling presence and bears his life to the world (on a horizontal level), similar to how humanity is designed to receive God’s indwelling presence and bear his divine life into the world (on a vertical level). Sex is sacred not only for its unitive ability to bring the two halves of the temple together but for its procreative potential to bear the life-giving presence of God into the world." pg 162
"Do you treat sex as holy? Do you see it as something sacred? You should, because this beautiful union unlocks the true purpose of the world: to be filled with the life-giving presence of God." pg 168
"Similarly, the Spirit of God is like a river from Eden, causing crops to thrive and population centers to arise. The river of life is the Giver of Life. Wait a sec. Are we created by sex or by the Spirit? Yes. It’s not an either/or but a both/and. God creates us through sex. In Acts 17, Paul grabs the mic at Athens and drops a little Sex Ed on the masses: “He made from one man every nation of mankind.”[13] The “one man” is Adam: the original headwater from whom the human race flows. Don’t miss the shock here, though: God made. Our Creator is the primary agent in procreation." pg 189
"The river does have one more advantage though: It’s liquid. Life moves forward through liquid means. The man’s procreative presence goes forth in intercourse to water the soil of the woman’s womb. Inversely, the woman moistens in the exchange to make way for this aquatic channel between them. They are like two sides of a canal opening, to share this river of life. The fruit of their love, if conceived, is nurtured within a liquid womb, until the water breaks and the newborn emerges through a river of life." pg 191
"You were made to be a bridal temple for God’s indwelling presence, united with him in covenantal union as his body. “Come to me and drink,” Jesus invites all who are thirsty, with the provocative promise: “Out of his belly will flow rivers of living water.” Guess where Jesus is standing when he says this? In the temple." pg 199
"Jesus is turning on the firehose once more, to bring life rushing forth to the world. Jesus loves to walk to the side of his house, unkink the garden hose, and crank on the faucet: to bring resurrection rivers gushing to all the neighborhood. The only requirement to drink is that you’re thirsty. Also, did you catch that word belly above? It could be translated “womb” (its most frequent meaning in the New Testament). That’s where the waters are flowing from. Rivers rushing forth from our womb, as from the inner sanctuary of the temple, bearing his life-giving presence to the world. Our union with Christ makes us fruitful. There is a Trinitarian dimension to sex. If salvation is union with Christ, the kingdom is the abundant life that flows from his Spirit. If marriage points to the work of Jesus, children point to the labor of the Spirit. The unitive dimension of sex points to your union with Christ; the procreative dimension points to your life from the Spirit. Procreation is an icon of the abundance of the kingdom." pg 200
"Jesus gives his river of life to you, and you bear his life to the world. “The water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Jesus fills us up as his bride to overflowing, pouring his presence into you like water into a pitcher until it spills out all around. Jesus’s goal is not simply to give himself to you but to pour himself through you, like streams of living water into a barren and thirsty land." pg 201
"Am I crazy, or is this a better vision? Am I losing my marbles, or is God’s vision for sex way more beautiful and compelling than anything else on offer?" pg. 221 (Yes Josh, this is crazy and abhorrent and exactly the same patriarchal nonsense as ever.)
And here is my very snarky and not critical summary of the 15 chapters I wrote:
Beautiful Union by Josh Butler:
This is a book all about semen and semen worship. He equates the Holy Spirit to semen with a variety of metaphors: the river of life, the love between the father and the son, the source of all humanity, etc.
Butler operates under the assumption that sexual orgasm and procreation are intricately related. This is very true for biological males – they cannot make life without an orgasm but a female orgasm has nothing to do with procreation – the clitoris plays no role in procreation and so sex must be more than ONLY for procreation (the clitoris has more nerve endings than a penis. Procreation is GREAT and babies are MIRACLES, yes! I just think a book of Christian sexual ethics would mention female pleasure and interact with it theologically. This book fails, entirely, epically, almost violently, to define sex and engage the topic in a responsible way. This book is an ode to male ejaculation in a way that presents Christianity as a fertility religion except where the father impregnates the son who impregnates the church which impregnates the world. Very strange – very awful. Here is my summary:
Chapter 1: Sex is salvation because just as Jesus saved us by pouring his Spirit into his church, so the man pours his semen into his wife to make life.
Chapter 2: When the day and the night become one, it’s really pretty and that’s like when a male and a female are having penetrative sex – it’s sunset, it’s beauty, all beautiful things are pointing to penetrative sex.
Chapter 3: The trinity is the lover, beloved, and love. The husband is the lover, the wife is the beloved, and his semen is the Holy Spirit – the life force of love that makes her pregnant.
Chapter 4: Sex is paradise – it’s pure paradise – but it’s a sacrifice and women should be grateful. Idolatry is bad. Seeing sex as the icon, is NOT idolatry, but enjoying it for pleasure alone, is.
Chapter 5: this one was confusing but I got that life is difficult but so is being born – being alive is like perpetually coming out of the birth canal. Jesus says you must be born again – so we are born - vaginas are painful places but God’s spirit is in there with you.
Chapter 6: Getting divorced is really really bad – it’s an amputation. Don’t do it.
Chapter 7: Being gay is really bad. He intros the chapter with a loving note to LGBTQ+ folks – assuring them they’re loved and beautiful and worthy and then he goes on for many pages to shame them, describing them as a perversion of nature. This chapter is based on Romans 1 where he assumes the “natural” is men pouring their semen, sacrificially, into a vagina until she gets pregnant and anything other than this is “unnatural” and really bad – it’s a very hateful, violent, and lazy chapter. He seems to imply that any sex acts that don’t lead to procreation are against nature. I wonder how many times his semen has made life and if he’d argue that those two sexual encounters were the only truly good ones. He thinks that sex needs to be diverse: i.e a penis and vagina are essential. NO way any other body parts can be involved and people with the same biological sex are totally wrong for each other because: the gospel depends on genital DIVERSITY.
Chapter 8: The fact that there is so much bad stuff about sex proves that it’s really really special and the devil hates it – whenever there are A LOT of people having sex in a lot of different ways, that means there is only ONE way to do it and the devil is really concerned about this and is tricking us with options and diverse experiences of sexual intimacy.
Chapter 9: Adultery is really bad. A virgin is a temple but a whore is a bus depot – (actual comparison made in the book).
Chapter 10: Abortion is really bad – God made semen which makes life, and God made vaginas as sacred receptacles for this semen which makes her pregnant and this is the essence and purpose of life, the source of salvation, and proof of God’s love on earth, so child birth is good and abortion is pure evil. The beautiful union which saves us and makes all things new is the unrestricted flow of semen upon the barren world. Abortion is damned and damming the flow.
Chapter 11: Diversity is bad. The gospel DEPENDS ON SAMENESS – Adam and Eve are not separate individuals with “opposite” identities, they’re the same thing – bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh and any sexual ethic that does not embrace the “sameness” of the couple is a product of our sinful and hyper-individualist culture. Assume queer readers were too traumatized and stopped reading after ch 7 so we can take their biblically sound sexual ethic about sameness and apply to heterosexuals. Eve is a temple for Adam’s semen, they were literally made for each other. Adam was alone in the garden and having sex with animals isn’t “very nice to animals” (pg 209) but it is VERY NICE for your wife.
Chapter 12: This chapter is a praise of Bavinck and Matt Chandler. Moving on.
Chapter 13: The river of life is semen and flows from Adam to all of life just like the rivers of life that flow from God’s throne. Also, a section on circumcision and hymens. He says that circumcision is good b/c it’s sexual, involves breaking, and blood. In the same way, hymens “break” on the wedding night and it’s painful and causes blood. Women feeling this pain in penetrative sex is God’s beautiful design for consumation. This man has apparently never read a book about female anatomy or he'd know that the hymen is… not a thing – little girls can break their hymen while riding a bike or they can birth 5 kids and never break it at all – the hymen has nothing to do with sex and if your wife is bleeding or in pain on your wedding night, that’s not natural – she’s being traumatized and you need to stop right now…. guys, he has a section on the hymen …and editors approved this and sent it through to print.
Chapter 14: Song of Solomon is about God giving his semen to the world – the King Solomon, is God. And the woman (she’s ugly but that’s ok), is the temple. This is the gospel. This is life.
Chapter 15: The bible ends with a wedding, a river of life flowing. The purpose of life is semen. Male ejaculation is the center of the universe and the heart of the human experience.
Anyways, here are the quotes:
"This should be shocking! It’s not only the giving of your vows at the altar but what happens in the honeymoon suite after that speaks to the life you were made for with God. A husband and wife’s life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! We’ll get to marriage soon enough in this book, but let’s start with this gospel bombshell: Sex is an icon of salvation. How? I’d suggest the language of generosity and hospitality can help us out." Pg 3
"You give the best you’ve got to give, lavishly pouring out your time, energy, or money. At a deeper level, generosity is a giving of not just your resources but your very self. And what deeper form of self-giving is there than sexual union where, particularly for the husband, he pours out his very presence not only upon but within his wife?"Pg 4
"The groom enters into the bride with his presence, while the bride receives the presence of the groom within herself". pg 12
"No, the grace God gives is his very self, his Spirit, the presence of his love poured into your heart, that warms your affections and re-animates your life through giving and receiving, through reciprocal, welcome, and loving union with him. God’s grace within us frees us to give ourselves fully to the God who is for us. On the other side, with grace, there’s what we might call the “Go become the groom” danger: God is out there waiting for you to rise up, get your act together, and impress him. You gotta get Jesus’s attention, so put on the makeup and high heels and go out to win his affection." pg 14
"In some circles, the phrase has become so ubiquitous as to become a cliché: Have you received Jesus into your heart? But it is a powerful phrase worth retaining—for it speaks to the heart of the gospel. Christ has come to dwell within our hearts as his people, renewing our greatest affections and desires from the inside out with his love.Sex as icon adds another layer of symbolism: corporately, the church receives Christ into her gut, or loins, a biblical image for a place both intimate and vulnerable, the seat of strength and vigor, and the center of procreative power. Christ’s indwelling presence reaches within even these foundational depths for us as his people, and he makes us fruitful. The church is the bride of Christ." pg 20
"The groom declares, “I am heaven, you are earth,” while the bride responds, “I am earth, you are heaven.” While the Bible doesn’t tie masculinity to sky and femininity to land in the same way, it’s easy to see why an agricultural society would. The earth receives heaven’s presence through rays of sun that warm her surface and nurturing rain that sinks within, as the seed penetrates the soil from above. Life is nurtured and grown within, hidden in the darkness of her womb below, until the crops are ready to emerge. When the time has come, the harvest bursts up from the clay, into the open arms of the awaiting atmosphere. Heaven and earth share these “children”—with roots below and head above—that their mutual embrace has brought into existence." pg 30
"While lover and beloved can both be people, love itself is always a thing—an abstract force or impersonal bond between them. Or, at least, almost always." pg 36
"Orgasm, ideally, occurs at the height of physical union. Its ecstasy is shared between lover and beloved, at the climactic point where they can bring forth love. The unitive and procreative dynamics of sex are most powerfully charged in this consummation of one flesh toward the generation of flesh and bone. All three persons are proleptically present in the moment of union: with the second ready to proceed forth from the first, carrying his life within her, and the third ready to proceed forth from them both, conceived through their union." pg 46
"Now, this is not “dirty.” Semen is often a source for crude jokes in our culture. In the Bible, however, it’s the source of life. It’s associated with the river of life—an image for the Spirit—shared through beautiful union." pg 65
"What does the semen represent? God’s Word and Spirit." Pg 65
"Similar to how semen is both seed and liquid, God plants the seed of his Word within and pours the river of his Spirit upon the parched and barren soil of our lives. Christ impregnates the church with the seed of his Word and the presence of his Spirit, which conceives us within her as children of God, who grow to emerge newborn into the kingdom." pg 66
"The glorious Groom lifts you up from your alienated estate to join his bride, filling you with his Spirit’s indwelling presence, and welcoming you into the Father’s expansive embrace, as he pulls the pieces of your rent humanity back into radiant union with God." pg 91
"Jesus left his mother, Mary, at the cross, to consummate the covenant with his bride." Pg 117 (this is in one of his semen is a sacrificial gift that saves the world section)
"Abortion violates a symbolic order. If the Spirit is the river of life, abortion is a slash-and-burn policy against the harvest emerging upon the banks of the kingdom." pg 146 (abortion is evil bc it's wasted semen)
"As we’ve seen, Eve receives Adam’s indwelling presence and bears his life to the world (on a horizontal level), similar to how humanity is designed to receive God’s indwelling presence and bear his divine life into the world (on a vertical level). Sex is sacred not only for its unitive ability to bring the two halves of the temple together but for its procreative potential to bear the life-giving presence of God into the world." pg 162
"Do you treat sex as holy? Do you see it as something sacred? You should, because this beautiful union unlocks the true purpose of the world: to be filled with the life-giving presence of God." pg 168
"Similarly, the Spirit of God is like a river from Eden, causing crops to thrive and population centers to arise. The river of life is the Giver of Life. Wait a sec. Are we created by sex or by the Spirit? Yes. It’s not an either/or but a both/and. God creates us through sex. In Acts 17, Paul grabs the mic at Athens and drops a little Sex Ed on the masses: “He made from one man every nation of mankind.”[13] The “one man” is Adam: the original headwater from whom the human race flows. Don’t miss the shock here, though: God made. Our Creator is the primary agent in procreation." pg 189
"The river does have one more advantage though: It’s liquid. Life moves forward through liquid means. The man’s procreative presence goes forth in intercourse to water the soil of the woman’s womb. Inversely, the woman moistens in the exchange to make way for this aquatic channel between them. They are like two sides of a canal opening, to share this river of life. The fruit of their love, if conceived, is nurtured within a liquid womb, until the water breaks and the newborn emerges through a river of life." pg 191
"You were made to be a bridal temple for God’s indwelling presence, united with him in covenantal union as his body. “Come to me and drink,” Jesus invites all who are thirsty, with the provocative promise: “Out of his belly will flow rivers of living water.” Guess where Jesus is standing when he says this? In the temple." pg 199
"Jesus is turning on the firehose once more, to bring life rushing forth to the world. Jesus loves to walk to the side of his house, unkink the garden hose, and crank on the faucet: to bring resurrection rivers gushing to all the neighborhood. The only requirement to drink is that you’re thirsty. Also, did you catch that word belly above? It could be translated “womb” (its most frequent meaning in the New Testament). That’s where the waters are flowing from. Rivers rushing forth from our womb, as from the inner sanctuary of the temple, bearing his life-giving presence to the world. Our union with Christ makes us fruitful. There is a Trinitarian dimension to sex. If salvation is union with Christ, the kingdom is the abundant life that flows from his Spirit. If marriage points to the work of Jesus, children point to the labor of the Spirit. The unitive dimension of sex points to your union with Christ; the procreative dimension points to your life from the Spirit. Procreation is an icon of the abundance of the kingdom." pg 200
"Jesus gives his river of life to you, and you bear his life to the world. “The water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Jesus fills us up as his bride to overflowing, pouring his presence into you like water into a pitcher until it spills out all around. Jesus’s goal is not simply to give himself to you but to pour himself through you, like streams of living water into a barren and thirsty land." pg 201
"Am I crazy, or is this a better vision? Am I losing my marbles, or is God’s vision for sex way more beautiful and compelling than anything else on offer?" pg. 221 (Yes Josh, this is crazy and abhorrent and exactly the same patriarchal nonsense as ever.)
And here is my very snarky and not critical summary of the 15 chapters I wrote:
Beautiful Union by Josh Butler:
This is a book all about semen and semen worship. He equates the Holy Spirit to semen with a variety of metaphors: the river of life, the love between the father and the son, the source of all humanity, etc.
Butler operates under the assumption that sexual orgasm and procreation are intricately related. This is very true for biological males – they cannot make life without an orgasm but a female orgasm has nothing to do with procreation – the clitoris plays no role in procreation and so sex must be more than ONLY for procreation (the clitoris has more nerve endings than a penis. Procreation is GREAT and babies are MIRACLES, yes! I just think a book of Christian sexual ethics would mention female pleasure and interact with it theologically. This book fails, entirely, epically, almost violently, to define sex and engage the topic in a responsible way. This book is an ode to male ejaculation in a way that presents Christianity as a fertility religion except where the father impregnates the son who impregnates the church which impregnates the world. Very strange – very awful. Here is my summary:
Chapter 1: Sex is salvation because just as Jesus saved us by pouring his Spirit into his church, so the man pours his semen into his wife to make life.
Chapter 2: When the day and the night become one, it’s really pretty and that’s like when a male and a female are having penetrative sex – it’s sunset, it’s beauty, all beautiful things are pointing to penetrative sex.
Chapter 3: The trinity is the lover, beloved, and love. The husband is the lover, the wife is the beloved, and his semen is the Holy Spirit – the life force of love that makes her pregnant.
Chapter 4: Sex is paradise – it’s pure paradise – but it’s a sacrifice and women should be grateful. Idolatry is bad. Seeing sex as the icon, is NOT idolatry, but enjoying it for pleasure alone, is.
Chapter 5: this one was confusing but I got that life is difficult but so is being born – being alive is like perpetually coming out of the birth canal. Jesus says you must be born again – so we are born - vaginas are painful places but God’s spirit is in there with you.
Chapter 6: Getting divorced is really really bad – it’s an amputation. Don’t do it.
Chapter 7: Being gay is really bad. He intros the chapter with a loving note to LGBTQ+ folks – assuring them they’re loved and beautiful and worthy and then he goes on for many pages to shame them, describing them as a perversion of nature. This chapter is based on Romans 1 where he assumes the “natural” is men pouring their semen, sacrificially, into a vagina until she gets pregnant and anything other than this is “unnatural” and really bad – it’s a very hateful, violent, and lazy chapter. He seems to imply that any sex acts that don’t lead to procreation are against nature. I wonder how many times his semen has made life and if he’d argue that those two sexual encounters were the only truly good ones. He thinks that sex needs to be diverse: i.e a penis and vagina are essential. NO way any other body parts can be involved and people with the same biological sex are totally wrong for each other because: the gospel depends on genital DIVERSITY.
Chapter 8: The fact that there is so much bad stuff about sex proves that it’s really really special and the devil hates it – whenever there are A LOT of people having sex in a lot of different ways, that means there is only ONE way to do it and the devil is really concerned about this and is tricking us with options and diverse experiences of sexual intimacy.
Chapter 9: Adultery is really bad. A virgin is a temple but a whore is a bus depot – (actual comparison made in the book).
Chapter 10: Abortion is really bad – God made semen which makes life, and God made vaginas as sacred receptacles for this semen which makes her pregnant and this is the essence and purpose of life, the source of salvation, and proof of God’s love on earth, so child birth is good and abortion is pure evil. The beautiful union which saves us and makes all things new is the unrestricted flow of semen upon the barren world. Abortion is damned and damming the flow.
Chapter 11: Diversity is bad. The gospel DEPENDS ON SAMENESS – Adam and Eve are not separate individuals with “opposite” identities, they’re the same thing – bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh and any sexual ethic that does not embrace the “sameness” of the couple is a product of our sinful and hyper-individualist culture. Assume queer readers were too traumatized and stopped reading after ch 7 so we can take their biblically sound sexual ethic about sameness and apply to heterosexuals. Eve is a temple for Adam’s semen, they were literally made for each other. Adam was alone in the garden and having sex with animals isn’t “very nice to animals” (pg 209) but it is VERY NICE for your wife.
Chapter 12: This chapter is a praise of Bavinck and Matt Chandler. Moving on.
Chapter 13: The river of life is semen and flows from Adam to all of life just like the rivers of life that flow from God’s throne. Also, a section on circumcision and hymens. He says that circumcision is good b/c it’s sexual, involves breaking, and blood. In the same way, hymens “break” on the wedding night and it’s painful and causes blood. Women feeling this pain in penetrative sex is God’s beautiful design for consumation. This man has apparently never read a book about female anatomy or he'd know that the hymen is… not a thing – little girls can break their hymen while riding a bike or they can birth 5 kids and never break it at all – the hymen has nothing to do with sex and if your wife is bleeding or in pain on your wedding night, that’s not natural – she’s being traumatized and you need to stop right now…. guys, he has a section on the hymen …and editors approved this and sent it through to print.
Chapter 14: Song of Solomon is about God giving his semen to the world – the King Solomon, is God. And the woman (she’s ugly but that’s ok), is the temple. This is the gospel. This is life.
Chapter 15: The bible ends with a wedding, a river of life flowing. The purpose of life is semen. Male ejaculation is the center of the universe and the heart of the human experience.
April 19, 2023
This book is vulgar, pornographic, and completely objectifies women. Women are vessels for semen in sex and men are the life givers to the author. His theology is totally backwards and teeters on idolatry of semen.
April 15, 2023
Guy is absolutely obsessed with the male orgasm 🤦🏽♀️
April 20, 2023
I received this book as an ARC through NetGalley.
I was reluctant to read it as I have been quite disappointed in most of Christian literature around marriage and sex. I don’t think this book is much different, despite the author’s sincere effort; this book is just way too light and optimistic and makes light of very serious issues. I am also not convinced about the notion that sex is an all-descriptive metaphor for our relationship with God, but I say that as a layman, not a theologian. It is difficult for me to imagine the beautiful union described by the author, purely of all the brokenness and evil in the modern church around the way in which women are treated, but especially how pastors/elders get away with murder, instead of setting an example.
I am also disappointed in the way that the topic of singleness is just briefly touched upon - singleness is much maligned and a poorly treated issue in church, despite the fact that Jesus and Paul (significant role-players in the New Testament) were both single………..
So - I am sorry, but not excited about this book.
I was reluctant to read it as I have been quite disappointed in most of Christian literature around marriage and sex. I don’t think this book is much different, despite the author’s sincere effort; this book is just way too light and optimistic and makes light of very serious issues. I am also not convinced about the notion that sex is an all-descriptive metaphor for our relationship with God, but I say that as a layman, not a theologian. It is difficult for me to imagine the beautiful union described by the author, purely of all the brokenness and evil in the modern church around the way in which women are treated, but especially how pastors/elders get away with murder, instead of setting an example.
I am also disappointed in the way that the topic of singleness is just briefly touched upon - singleness is much maligned and a poorly treated issue in church, despite the fact that Jesus and Paul (significant role-players in the New Testament) were both single………..
So - I am sorry, but not excited about this book.
May 5, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a chance to read this for review. I could not get past the first chapter- the author comparing husbands having sex to the gospel and Christ's salvation. I find this type of comparison- the husband is in (physically in sex) in wife as Jesus is in the church- abhorrent. This was on page 22.
June 1, 2023
This book is non-stop misogyny. The male orgasm is equated with the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus. I could provide quotes but I don't want anyone to lose their lunch. Suffice it to say that I never wanted to think about a river of semen.
April 28, 2023
Joshua Ryan Butler's "Beautiful Union" is a book that has garnered both praise and criticism, and after finishing the book, I find myself agreeing with both sides, albeit to a lesser extent. "Beautiful Union" is not as bad as the worst reviews, but it falls short of the enlightenment promised by the best ones. Truly it was a mixed bag
Split into three parts, "Beautiful Union" is at its strongest in Part 2, titled "When God Says No." Butler helpfully addresses issues of pornography, same-sex attraction, adultery, and more. The exegesis in these chapters is well-researched and insightful, making it the most helpful and impactful section of the book. This section was more practical and the metaphors being pressed too far didn’t distract from the message.
However, Parts 1 and 3 don't quite reach the same level of effectiveness for me. While the exegesis in these sections is not unhelpful, it does just get weird. As many readers have noted, Butler sometimes pushes metaphors too far, which actually detracts from what he’s trying to say.
"Beautiful Union" is a worthwhile read for those seeking to be conversant in the ever-changing world of conversations about sex and gender. While it may not be groundbreaking or life-changing, it does provide moments of clarity and understanding, particularly in Part 2. If you're willing to look past its imperfections, "Beautiful Union" would be worth your time.
Split into three parts, "Beautiful Union" is at its strongest in Part 2, titled "When God Says No." Butler helpfully addresses issues of pornography, same-sex attraction, adultery, and more. The exegesis in these chapters is well-researched and insightful, making it the most helpful and impactful section of the book. This section was more practical and the metaphors being pressed too far didn’t distract from the message.
However, Parts 1 and 3 don't quite reach the same level of effectiveness for me. While the exegesis in these sections is not unhelpful, it does just get weird. As many readers have noted, Butler sometimes pushes metaphors too far, which actually detracts from what he’s trying to say.
"Beautiful Union" is a worthwhile read for those seeking to be conversant in the ever-changing world of conversations about sex and gender. While it may not be groundbreaking or life-changing, it does provide moments of clarity and understanding, particularly in Part 2. If you're willing to look past its imperfections, "Beautiful Union" would be worth your time.
May 26, 2023
This book is a compulsively readable, comprehensive explanation of the Christian ethic of sex, using an angle I’ve never heard before. Much of Beautiful Union is based around Pope John Paul II’s theology of the body, which is a strange concept, especially if you grew up in purity culture (like me). Josh Butler explains this as sex being an icon, like in the Catholic tradition — an image that is intended to express something true about God. He points out that there is a unitive and generative dimension to sex, discusses the relationship among the trinity and compares that to husband, wife, and child, and also looks at the Christ as bridegroom passages.
What might be more controversial is the language use: in this book, Butler often writes about complex topics in conversational and poetic language rather than technical language (think contemporary worship song lyrics, not academic prose, with maybe some excessive alliteration). I think that’s one of the reasons some readers take every single statement to be graphic and perverse. I had to do some mental gymnastics to figure out whether certain sentences were still about actual sex or just using sexual-sounding language to talk about spiritual concepts. But whether I like that figurative language or not, it’s used a lot in the ancient writings of the Bible, and the greater vision Josh Butler is actually describing, when I’m interpreting it right, is consistent with what I believe.
My favorite parts of the book happened toward the end of some of the chapters, where the explication of a given concept led into insights that speak directly to the readers’ lived experience, whatever that may be: if you were sexually abused, know that Jesus was also abused (on the cross) and understands your pain, if you are single or celibate, know that you can go directly to the source of our desire to be known and loved without needing sex at all, if you are infertile, this is a painful result of the “sorrow in conception” part of the fall, and you can still have the “reality [procreation] points to: life in the Spirit.” I loved the Song of Solomon chapter as well, as this is a book of the Bible that has weirded me out in the past.
For readers who don’t subscribe at all to a historical Christian ethic of sex, there will be points of disagreement by default. But the arguments Butler gives in support of a theology of sex make more sense to me than others that I’ve heard, are not shaming at all, and they are also beautiful, and even made me emotional at times. There are some parts of the book that seem to me more like literary analysis and poetic observations of similarities rather than solid theology, but I still found it interesting to see the connections. If you believe that God’s ultimate goal, and his current work, is restoring the world to make all things new and good, but you also wonder if there is meaning in our bodies, this book ties those things together. In the end, I really appreciate this book and found it compelling.
What might be more controversial is the language use: in this book, Butler often writes about complex topics in conversational and poetic language rather than technical language (think contemporary worship song lyrics, not academic prose, with maybe some excessive alliteration). I think that’s one of the reasons some readers take every single statement to be graphic and perverse. I had to do some mental gymnastics to figure out whether certain sentences were still about actual sex or just using sexual-sounding language to talk about spiritual concepts. But whether I like that figurative language or not, it’s used a lot in the ancient writings of the Bible, and the greater vision Josh Butler is actually describing, when I’m interpreting it right, is consistent with what I believe.
My favorite parts of the book happened toward the end of some of the chapters, where the explication of a given concept led into insights that speak directly to the readers’ lived experience, whatever that may be: if you were sexually abused, know that Jesus was also abused (on the cross) and understands your pain, if you are single or celibate, know that you can go directly to the source of our desire to be known and loved without needing sex at all, if you are infertile, this is a painful result of the “sorrow in conception” part of the fall, and you can still have the “reality [procreation] points to: life in the Spirit.” I loved the Song of Solomon chapter as well, as this is a book of the Bible that has weirded me out in the past.
For readers who don’t subscribe at all to a historical Christian ethic of sex, there will be points of disagreement by default. But the arguments Butler gives in support of a theology of sex make more sense to me than others that I’ve heard, are not shaming at all, and they are also beautiful, and even made me emotional at times. There are some parts of the book that seem to me more like literary analysis and poetic observations of similarities rather than solid theology, but I still found it interesting to see the connections. If you believe that God’s ultimate goal, and his current work, is restoring the world to make all things new and good, but you also wonder if there is meaning in our bodies, this book ties those things together. In the end, I really appreciate this book and found it compelling.
August 10, 2023
Admittedly biased: 10+ years ago, my husband and I biked across the city of Kathmandu to meet this author, Butler, and some mutual friends for dinner.
So, when this book was in the center of a mini Twitter tornado, I couldn't resist checking it out. I really think the outcry was undeserved. Some of the criticisms seem to want this book to be a totally different genre--mad that it fails as a sex manual, which it clearly is not attempting to be.
Downsides: occasionally cringey Dad jokes; the casual, conversational tone can feel uncomfortably light-hearted for the subject matter; some metaphors may be stretched too far and too detailed.
Positives: Surprising, absorbing explorations of how our bodies and relationships image theological truths. Yes, talking about semen as part of a theological metaphor is strange! But if we believe God created everything about our bodies and sex for a purpose and with meaning--well, maybe it's worth considering.
I haven't read anything else in the Theology of the Body tradition, so I can't say how this compares. I did gain appreciation for the rich layers of meaning and poetic nuance in the Biblical metaphors. The middle section of the book, about various forms of sexual sin and brokenness, was helpful pastorally, identifying clearly why each example is so wrong or so painful to experience. I've never seriously studied the Song of Songs, so that chapter was a highlight. The end chapt on Revelation was more familiar, but a solid celebration of that beloved image. Bonus points for a brief discussion of Exodus as the birth narrative of the people of Israel (TY Jen Wilkin for introducing me to that).
So, when this book was in the center of a mini Twitter tornado, I couldn't resist checking it out. I really think the outcry was undeserved. Some of the criticisms seem to want this book to be a totally different genre--mad that it fails as a sex manual, which it clearly is not attempting to be.
Downsides: occasionally cringey Dad jokes; the casual, conversational tone can feel uncomfortably light-hearted for the subject matter; some metaphors may be stretched too far and too detailed.
Positives: Surprising, absorbing explorations of how our bodies and relationships image theological truths. Yes, talking about semen as part of a theological metaphor is strange! But if we believe God created everything about our bodies and sex for a purpose and with meaning--well, maybe it's worth considering.
I haven't read anything else in the Theology of the Body tradition, so I can't say how this compares. I did gain appreciation for the rich layers of meaning and poetic nuance in the Biblical metaphors. The middle section of the book, about various forms of sexual sin and brokenness, was helpful pastorally, identifying clearly why each example is so wrong or so painful to experience. I've never seriously studied the Song of Songs, so that chapter was a highlight. The end chapt on Revelation was more familiar, but a solid celebration of that beloved image. Bonus points for a brief discussion of Exodus as the birth narrative of the people of Israel (TY Jen Wilkin for introducing me to that).
April 26, 2023
2.5. I was curious to read the entirety of this book in light of the controversy surrounding its release. While I don't believe the excerpt posted in the TGC article is an accurate depiction of the book as a whole, I did have issues with certain aspects of Butler's message. I felt as though he focused entirely too much attention on the man's role in sex and the elevation of marriage as a sacrament was concerning. In addition, while I do believe modern discussions around sex can be prudish, the conversation is critically important and filled with sensitive topics. I felt Butler was borderline flippant at times and didn't treat the "beautiful union" with the delicate care it deserves.
On a positive note, the two final chapters on Eden and Revelation were theologically precise and helpful for developing a framework for humanity's future. Finally, his discussion of abortion and infertility was gracious and steeped in a knowledge of the story of the Bible.
On a positive note, the two final chapters on Eden and Revelation were theologically precise and helpful for developing a framework for humanity's future. Finally, his discussion of abortion and infertility was gracious and steeped in a knowledge of the story of the Bible.
May 29, 2023
This book is a real gem! Admittedly, some of his readings may be somewhat idiosyncratic, but on the whole, he has pulled some things from Scripture that are actually there. He connects dots that make sense and help you to see how our romantic relationships make sense of god’s redemptive story. The book is about more then the act of sex, although it is the centerpiece.
Butler received a lot of unnecessary flak based off of an excerpt published before the book was released. My understanding continues to be that people have shamed Butler without regard for the full writing. So shame on those who have not read the whole book. I do agree, however, that The Gospel Coalition should have been more careful in their choice of the text to publish. There were better excerpts to choose from.
I told a friend that if I had to preach on LGBTQ+ issues in the church, I would basically plagiarize chapter 7. He makes one of the most rational and wonderful cases for an interdependence of opposite sexes in marriage that I have ever seen.
Please do yourself a favor and lay aside others’ misgivings and read the book for yourself. You may find that many of the points made against Butler are i fact issues that he speaks to in the book, and oftentimes in agreement with some of his worst critics.
Butler received a lot of unnecessary flak based off of an excerpt published before the book was released. My understanding continues to be that people have shamed Butler without regard for the full writing. So shame on those who have not read the whole book. I do agree, however, that The Gospel Coalition should have been more careful in their choice of the text to publish. There were better excerpts to choose from.
I told a friend that if I had to preach on LGBTQ+ issues in the church, I would basically plagiarize chapter 7. He makes one of the most rational and wonderful cases for an interdependence of opposite sexes in marriage that I have ever seen.
Please do yourself a favor and lay aside others’ misgivings and read the book for yourself. You may find that many of the points made against Butler are i fact issues that he speaks to in the book, and oftentimes in agreement with some of his worst critics.
April 16, 2023
Ewwwwwwwwww. Sex is gross. What has Christianity come to? Can evangelicals just be normal about sex either with respect to secular culture or to Christian culture instead of advocating this? Either is better; go nuts with sex or practically speaking eliminate it from society either are better.
September 20, 2023
I appreciate any book that gets me to think in new ways, especially when it comes to biblical themes and imagery, family, marriage, and how the world functions.
July 26, 2023
Most of the breathless, angry mob who helped to cancel Josh clearly haven't read the book charitably -- or at all (as some of his own friends-turned-enemies themselves admitted). A pornified culture that is unable to read anything longer than a tweet or TGC blog article stoned the messenger of good news because they couldn't stomach the idea that sex has any profound meaning whatsoever.
There are reasons to disagree with some things Josh says (and I do). On the whole, though, this book was a faithful effort to describe the beauty of human sexuality as created by God -- and the greater mysteries or "opens secrets" that our embodied sexuality reflects.
The chapter "Why Sunsets are Beautiful" was a highlight.
There are reasons to disagree with some things Josh says (and I do). On the whole, though, this book was a faithful effort to describe the beauty of human sexuality as created by God -- and the greater mysteries or "opens secrets" that our embodied sexuality reflects.
The chapter "Why Sunsets are Beautiful" was a highlight.
February 10, 2024
Review incoming…stay posted
June 5, 2023
This is the first review that I have decided to openly post that is negative.
I will not be linking the purchase links for this book to my review.
The theology espoused in this book is dangerous – which is the only reason why I feel the need to call it out for what it can do in the community of faith. I am not writing this review to call for hatred, harm, or hurt. I am writing this review to try and prevent the harm that this book has the potential to cause in the lives of believers of all ages.
Reading Level: Easy to Moderate
The general reading level is low, but there is a significant number of terms used in this book that may be unfamiliar to the reader.
Faith Engagement Level: Moderate to Digest
I will admit that I have had some difficulty in determining this category – this book was engaging in illustrative/applicable content, but it was not always from a faith perspective. Often the text used supporting arguments from cultures, and history rather than from Scripture or faith tradition – which became problematic as the theology of this book was openly rooted in folk lore rather than passages of Scripture.
Reader Age Recommended: Adults only.
I also cannot stress enough that if you are an individual who has experienced sexual trauma – Do Not Read. The content of this book is disturbing in the approach to sexual intimacy, identity, and in the use of sex as imagery for salvation. While it has been touted as a masterpiece of evangelical sexual ethics, this book showed an incredibly discriminatory view of Christian sexual ethics.
________________________________________
TYPICALLY, MY REVIEWS COME FROM A POSITIVE ANGLE, AND FOCUS ON TWO KEY QUESTIONS:
WHY SHOULD I READ THIS BOOK?
WHAT DID THIS BOOK CHALLENGE ME TO DO?
This review will not be focusing on these questions – as there is no way that I can answer them with a sense of integrity. Do not read this book. For those of you who are reading this review that do not know me personally, I will be writing this review as a woman who has studied and taught theology for more than a decade, as an author, as an Ordained Pastor, and as a co-director of a professional development program for laity/clergy. I also find myself writing this review as a woman deeply impacted by the negative teachings associated with *unchecked* purity culture which resonate deeply with this work.
Please consider this a final warning to those who have experienced sexual trauma, to pass on reading this review. I will be using quotes from the text, and referencing some aspects which are difficult to engage. This review will also include references to content from the book that can be considered NSFW (Not Safe for the Workplace).
A Review of Beautiful Union
I don't like to discredit other pastors and other ministers of the gospel, and so I will make it very clear that I have not read other works from Joshua Ryan Butler, aside from those which he quoted within this text. This review is not making any claims about him as an individual or pastor.
This being said, when it comes to a theology as dangerous as the one that is espoused in this book, it is critical that people have a clear view of what it is really saying, and why it does not align with the heart of the gospel. The book Beautiful Union is dangerous, not only in the way that it misrepresents scripture, but in the way that it sets up individuals for failure within their marriages, their relationships, their family life, and ultimately in their own presentation of the gospel message to others. This book teaches a pattern of living and an understanding of personal identity that disinherits people from their ability to be the message of redemption to others.
In an effort to “restore” sex as an “icon” (xiii), this book instead pushes the metaphor of sexual intimacy beyond appropriate limits and reduces the role of the indwelling Holy Spirit to the image of semen entering the womb and birthing new life. I can see that he is trying to embrace the spiritual aspects of sexual intimacy in this metaphor, but in the attempt to see sex as “more than the raw, physical act” (xiii), the pendulum swings too far in the opposite direction. Sexual intimacy is ultimately elevated beyond his intended icon – with language used throughout the book that instead speaks of it as an idol.
"Similar to how semen is both seed and liquid, God plants the seed of his Word within and pours the river of his Spirit upon the parched and barren soil of our lives. Christ impregnates the church with the seed of his Word and the presence of his Spirit, which conceives us within her as children of God, who grow to emerge newborn into the kingdom" (66).
It has been several weeks since I was given the opportunity to read this book through a program that invites reviewers to give honest opinions of works before they release. In the weeks since reading this work, I've taken a lot of time to think and pray over the content of this book, and the extensive notes I took while reading.
It has been two weeks since I completed my reading, and I am still sick about the content. I need to make it clear that my disappointment with this book has little to do with the fact that it openly addresses sexual content – but rather the manner in which it addresses these matters. You can talk about sexual intimacy openly as an image for spiritual life without diverging into the realm of vulgarity.
I highly value the beauty of how the marriage image is used within the context of Scripture. I value the way Scripture speaks about the marriage bed with dignity, and care. Even if the fullness of the image of marriage is intended to be an image for salvation, this book moves beyond the sacredness of the union that God has given us.
This book presents sex as the key to understanding secrets of the Trinity, the work of Salvation and even the Temple architecture in Israel. This is an image that makes an idol out of the act that was given to us by God to be celebrated, but not to be worshiped. Sex becomes the key to understanding, and in doing so brings us to a dangerous place: can you intimately experience God if you haven’t intimately experienced sex? While the author tries to address this question with affirmation, his overall content would say no.
When sex is venerated and elevated in language like this book uses, there are a few key dangerous thoughts that emerge:
1. Sex as an icon can easily become an idol. If sex becomes an idol, we are doing little more than erecting our own Asherah Poles. His approach to sex and how it relates to Scripture reduces the Christian faith to little more than a sex cult.
a. “You were made to be a bridal temple for God’s indwelling presence, united with him in covenantal union as his body. “Come to me and drink,” Jesus invites all who are thirsty, with the provocative promise: “Out of his belly will flow rivers of living water.” Guess where Jesus is standing when he says this? In the temple. Also vital is when he says it: the climax of a national festival where the people cried out in front of the sanctuary for God to bring the river of life rushing forth from the temple again.” 202
b. “What gave the temple this life-giving power? Beautiful Union. It was the “hot spot” of God’s presence, where heaven and earth intersected and God dwelt in intimacy and power with his bride. The Most Holy Place was like the bedroom, where this union was most powerfully consummated. God presence penetrated the temple, from this center brough life and abundance into the land. … The temple was associated with the female body.” (200)
2. Men are active participants in the salvation story as presented in this book, while women only represent passive participants. Stretching the metaphor this far can reinforce detrimental theologies that bring harm and subjugation to women.
a. "This should be shocking! It’s not only the giving of your vows at the altar but what happens in the honeymoon suite after that speaks to the life you were made for with God. A husband and wife’s life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! We’ll get to marriage soon enough in this book, but let’s start with this gospel bombshell: Sex is an icon of salvation. How? I’d suggest the language of generosity and hospitality can help us out." Pg 3
b. "You give the best you’ve got to give, lavishly pouring out your time, energy, or money. At a deeper level, generosity is a giving of not just your resources but your very self. And what deeper form of self-giving is there than sexual union where, particularly for the husband, he pours out his very presence not only upon but within his wife?"Pg 4
c. "The groom enters into the bride with his presence, while the bride receives the presence of the groom within herself". pg 12
3. Engaging in sexual union unlock our ability to understand truth more than those who do not have sex. This is Gnosticism – and is a dangerous form of heresy.
a. "Do you treat sex as holy? Do you see it as something sacred? You should, because this beautiful union unlocks the true purpose of the world: to be filled with the life-giving presence of God." pg 168
b. “Sex is a vehicle for life.” 190
I am not saying that Joshua Ryan Butler is guilty of heresy, as he does try to place fences on his own teachings to guide readers. However, this book teaches so little from the actual Scriptures, that readers may begin to fill in the gaps with their own personal experiences of sexual intimacy. The author begins his work by explaining that he “used to look to sex for salvation” (3), and talks about the dangers of how the world looks to the physical act of sex for salvation. While this introduction gave me a brief moment of hope, it quickly became apparent that his solution was to tack on the spiritual importance of sex rather than renegotiate the way in which we approach intimacy.
Beautiful Union talks about the beauty and the glory of how God created us to experience the union of sex. Yet, the pattern in which this book venerates sex moves beyond the role it was intended to have and in doing so takes away from the beauty that it shows. The author goes so far as to reduce sexual intimacy as a factory for humanity (191), and in an effort to create space for individuals struggling with infertility he virtue signals their struggle and comforts them with teachings that their barrenness is a holy symbol of what our own human condition is without God.
Joshua talks about the beauty and the glory that comes from knowing God intimately, but also uses language and illustrations that cheapen his own message. In doing so, he has drafted a tool that will be used to further isolate, alienate, and teach women that they are lesser than in God's redemptive story. Not once in this text is a woman brought into the message of salvation without the image of the partner, infusing it into her. Not once. Women are described as agents of hospitality – receptacles, but not participants – for the Gospel to be instilled into them.
However, throughout this book, we are taught that man's two feet, able hands, and fruitful loins are all representations of the gospel message. In this presentation, man alone is an image bearer of the divine. Women simply carry the message for a time.
As a closing point of note on this book, there has also been significant push back from some scholars quoted – citing that their work has been misquoted or misrepresented.
Beautiful union IS NOT a book that I would recommend for you to read. I write this review only for the sake that, you know, that it is not a healthy image of the gospel message or a marriage bed. I write this book review, as a caution that when you hear this being used and preached as authority on matters of sex and salvation, it is time to consider the soil in which your faith is growing. Ultimately, this is a book that we need to be aware of, if only for the sake of mitigating the damage that it can do if we leave it unchecked.
I'm praying for each of you that have already been exposed to this. As someone who has experienced some trauma in my own life, I don't want you to walk through this alone. Find a support system if you're exposed to this kind of teaching. Do not try to carry the weight on your own.
I will not be linking the purchase links for this book to my review.
The theology espoused in this book is dangerous – which is the only reason why I feel the need to call it out for what it can do in the community of faith. I am not writing this review to call for hatred, harm, or hurt. I am writing this review to try and prevent the harm that this book has the potential to cause in the lives of believers of all ages.
Reading Level: Easy to Moderate
The general reading level is low, but there is a significant number of terms used in this book that may be unfamiliar to the reader.
Faith Engagement Level: Moderate to Digest
I will admit that I have had some difficulty in determining this category – this book was engaging in illustrative/applicable content, but it was not always from a faith perspective. Often the text used supporting arguments from cultures, and history rather than from Scripture or faith tradition – which became problematic as the theology of this book was openly rooted in folk lore rather than passages of Scripture.
Reader Age Recommended: Adults only.
I also cannot stress enough that if you are an individual who has experienced sexual trauma – Do Not Read. The content of this book is disturbing in the approach to sexual intimacy, identity, and in the use of sex as imagery for salvation. While it has been touted as a masterpiece of evangelical sexual ethics, this book showed an incredibly discriminatory view of Christian sexual ethics.
________________________________________
TYPICALLY, MY REVIEWS COME FROM A POSITIVE ANGLE, AND FOCUS ON TWO KEY QUESTIONS:
WHY SHOULD I READ THIS BOOK?
WHAT DID THIS BOOK CHALLENGE ME TO DO?
This review will not be focusing on these questions – as there is no way that I can answer them with a sense of integrity. Do not read this book. For those of you who are reading this review that do not know me personally, I will be writing this review as a woman who has studied and taught theology for more than a decade, as an author, as an Ordained Pastor, and as a co-director of a professional development program for laity/clergy. I also find myself writing this review as a woman deeply impacted by the negative teachings associated with *unchecked* purity culture which resonate deeply with this work.
Please consider this a final warning to those who have experienced sexual trauma, to pass on reading this review. I will be using quotes from the text, and referencing some aspects which are difficult to engage. This review will also include references to content from the book that can be considered NSFW (Not Safe for the Workplace).
A Review of Beautiful Union
I don't like to discredit other pastors and other ministers of the gospel, and so I will make it very clear that I have not read other works from Joshua Ryan Butler, aside from those which he quoted within this text. This review is not making any claims about him as an individual or pastor.
This being said, when it comes to a theology as dangerous as the one that is espoused in this book, it is critical that people have a clear view of what it is really saying, and why it does not align with the heart of the gospel. The book Beautiful Union is dangerous, not only in the way that it misrepresents scripture, but in the way that it sets up individuals for failure within their marriages, their relationships, their family life, and ultimately in their own presentation of the gospel message to others. This book teaches a pattern of living and an understanding of personal identity that disinherits people from their ability to be the message of redemption to others.
In an effort to “restore” sex as an “icon” (xiii), this book instead pushes the metaphor of sexual intimacy beyond appropriate limits and reduces the role of the indwelling Holy Spirit to the image of semen entering the womb and birthing new life. I can see that he is trying to embrace the spiritual aspects of sexual intimacy in this metaphor, but in the attempt to see sex as “more than the raw, physical act” (xiii), the pendulum swings too far in the opposite direction. Sexual intimacy is ultimately elevated beyond his intended icon – with language used throughout the book that instead speaks of it as an idol.
"Similar to how semen is both seed and liquid, God plants the seed of his Word within and pours the river of his Spirit upon the parched and barren soil of our lives. Christ impregnates the church with the seed of his Word and the presence of his Spirit, which conceives us within her as children of God, who grow to emerge newborn into the kingdom" (66).
It has been several weeks since I was given the opportunity to read this book through a program that invites reviewers to give honest opinions of works before they release. In the weeks since reading this work, I've taken a lot of time to think and pray over the content of this book, and the extensive notes I took while reading.
It has been two weeks since I completed my reading, and I am still sick about the content. I need to make it clear that my disappointment with this book has little to do with the fact that it openly addresses sexual content – but rather the manner in which it addresses these matters. You can talk about sexual intimacy openly as an image for spiritual life without diverging into the realm of vulgarity.
I highly value the beauty of how the marriage image is used within the context of Scripture. I value the way Scripture speaks about the marriage bed with dignity, and care. Even if the fullness of the image of marriage is intended to be an image for salvation, this book moves beyond the sacredness of the union that God has given us.
This book presents sex as the key to understanding secrets of the Trinity, the work of Salvation and even the Temple architecture in Israel. This is an image that makes an idol out of the act that was given to us by God to be celebrated, but not to be worshiped. Sex becomes the key to understanding, and in doing so brings us to a dangerous place: can you intimately experience God if you haven’t intimately experienced sex? While the author tries to address this question with affirmation, his overall content would say no.
When sex is venerated and elevated in language like this book uses, there are a few key dangerous thoughts that emerge:
1. Sex as an icon can easily become an idol. If sex becomes an idol, we are doing little more than erecting our own Asherah Poles. His approach to sex and how it relates to Scripture reduces the Christian faith to little more than a sex cult.
a. “You were made to be a bridal temple for God’s indwelling presence, united with him in covenantal union as his body. “Come to me and drink,” Jesus invites all who are thirsty, with the provocative promise: “Out of his belly will flow rivers of living water.” Guess where Jesus is standing when he says this? In the temple. Also vital is when he says it: the climax of a national festival where the people cried out in front of the sanctuary for God to bring the river of life rushing forth from the temple again.” 202
b. “What gave the temple this life-giving power? Beautiful Union. It was the “hot spot” of God’s presence, where heaven and earth intersected and God dwelt in intimacy and power with his bride. The Most Holy Place was like the bedroom, where this union was most powerfully consummated. God presence penetrated the temple, from this center brough life and abundance into the land. … The temple was associated with the female body.” (200)
2. Men are active participants in the salvation story as presented in this book, while women only represent passive participants. Stretching the metaphor this far can reinforce detrimental theologies that bring harm and subjugation to women.
a. "This should be shocking! It’s not only the giving of your vows at the altar but what happens in the honeymoon suite after that speaks to the life you were made for with God. A husband and wife’s life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! We’ll get to marriage soon enough in this book, but let’s start with this gospel bombshell: Sex is an icon of salvation. How? I’d suggest the language of generosity and hospitality can help us out." Pg 3
b. "You give the best you’ve got to give, lavishly pouring out your time, energy, or money. At a deeper level, generosity is a giving of not just your resources but your very self. And what deeper form of self-giving is there than sexual union where, particularly for the husband, he pours out his very presence not only upon but within his wife?"Pg 4
c. "The groom enters into the bride with his presence, while the bride receives the presence of the groom within herself". pg 12
3. Engaging in sexual union unlock our ability to understand truth more than those who do not have sex. This is Gnosticism – and is a dangerous form of heresy.
a. "Do you treat sex as holy? Do you see it as something sacred? You should, because this beautiful union unlocks the true purpose of the world: to be filled with the life-giving presence of God." pg 168
b. “Sex is a vehicle for life.” 190
I am not saying that Joshua Ryan Butler is guilty of heresy, as he does try to place fences on his own teachings to guide readers. However, this book teaches so little from the actual Scriptures, that readers may begin to fill in the gaps with their own personal experiences of sexual intimacy. The author begins his work by explaining that he “used to look to sex for salvation” (3), and talks about the dangers of how the world looks to the physical act of sex for salvation. While this introduction gave me a brief moment of hope, it quickly became apparent that his solution was to tack on the spiritual importance of sex rather than renegotiate the way in which we approach intimacy.
Beautiful Union talks about the beauty and the glory of how God created us to experience the union of sex. Yet, the pattern in which this book venerates sex moves beyond the role it was intended to have and in doing so takes away from the beauty that it shows. The author goes so far as to reduce sexual intimacy as a factory for humanity (191), and in an effort to create space for individuals struggling with infertility he virtue signals their struggle and comforts them with teachings that their barrenness is a holy symbol of what our own human condition is without God.
Joshua talks about the beauty and the glory that comes from knowing God intimately, but also uses language and illustrations that cheapen his own message. In doing so, he has drafted a tool that will be used to further isolate, alienate, and teach women that they are lesser than in God's redemptive story. Not once in this text is a woman brought into the message of salvation without the image of the partner, infusing it into her. Not once. Women are described as agents of hospitality – receptacles, but not participants – for the Gospel to be instilled into them.
However, throughout this book, we are taught that man's two feet, able hands, and fruitful loins are all representations of the gospel message. In this presentation, man alone is an image bearer of the divine. Women simply carry the message for a time.
As a closing point of note on this book, there has also been significant push back from some scholars quoted – citing that their work has been misquoted or misrepresented.
Beautiful union IS NOT a book that I would recommend for you to read. I write this review only for the sake that, you know, that it is not a healthy image of the gospel message or a marriage bed. I write this book review, as a caution that when you hear this being used and preached as authority on matters of sex and salvation, it is time to consider the soil in which your faith is growing. Ultimately, this is a book that we need to be aware of, if only for the sake of mitigating the damage that it can do if we leave it unchecked.
I'm praying for each of you that have already been exposed to this. As someone who has experienced some trauma in my own life, I don't want you to walk through this alone. Find a support system if you're exposed to this kind of teaching. Do not try to carry the weight on your own.
April 29, 2023
Yes, I read “that book.”
And it was… meh? It was better than the worst critics make it out to be and worse than the staunchest defenders say it is.
The main pushbacks to the book I’ve seen so far are these (listed from least fair to most fair)
- It gives ammo for abuse- this isn’t true, he explicitly addresses abuse. One could make that argument that someone could read it in the worst light to justify abuse, but that’s the case with Scripture itself and many other things.
- It devalues singleness- I don’t believe this is true, he addresses singleness clearly. But, it’s a book primarily for marital intimacy (which is fine)
- It over emphasizes and divinizes sex in a way that is almost “pagan sexual temple worship”- I think this is a fair critique. He even pulls from pagan examples such as the yin/yang symbol.
- It’s cringey- yes, absolutely at times for sure
- It makes sex and how it reveals the Gospel all about the male orgasm- this is super fair. As far as I can remember he never addresses the female orgasm.
My summary of the book is this- a somewhat helpful book, albeit cringey and with some bad parts, outlining a theology of sex/marriage/the body/and relationships that only became a controversy because TGC shared an excerpt (and people don’t like TGC) that was the most “male headship/men initiate” part of the book (probably because it aligned with TGC’s theology). I don’t know if I would’ve even heard of the book if TGC didn’t post the worst part of the book (which it was, that excerpt was so cringe (at best)).
Now, one could argue that it’s a good thing that it became a controversy because we are able to discuss his bad theology now.
Maybe.
Is this book more bad than good?
I don’t know. Probably depends on who is reading and how critical they can read.
Would I recommend it to someone?
Probably not
This paragraph below is(in my opinion) his main theme of the book
“The Pentateuch is structured as a chi-asm--a literary style popular in Hebrew writing with mirrored bookends that work their way inward toward a climax in the middle. If you want to know the main point of a chiasm, look at its center.
So what's the center of the Pentateuch? The Day of Atonement (in Leviticus 16). This is the view commonly held by biblical scholars, given the structure of the Pentateuch. This was the annual day when the Most Holy Place of the temple could be entered through sacrifice. According to Michael Morales, a renowned biblical scholar, this structure means the central point of the Pentateuch is this: union with the presence of God through the shedding of blood. That's the heart of the Pentateuch. Union with God through the shedding of blood.
Sex is iconic of this center. As we've seen, sex points toward union with God through the shedding of blood. That's not to say sex is the main point of Scripture. Rather, it is to say sex is a sign of the main point of Scripture. And a central one at that. The point of the Pentateuch becomes the point of the biblical story as a whole, fulfilled in Christ and the church: union with God through the shedding of blood. Sex is a sign of this destination, from the outset of the biblical story.”
There’s some truth in this paragraph, some unhelpful overstatement in this section, and some cringe- which is a decent summary of the book.
It is good to ground sex in a theological vision of the body, the Imago Dei, marital union, God’s design, etc. But, any time you decide that something is an icon of God and write a book defending that, you are going to get over your skis a little bit and stretch your image too far. In humorous ways we’ve seen this with those who write the “Star Wars/Harry Potter Bible,” but sex is less humorous when you take it too far.
He said this later, which would have been a more helpful theme for him to run with in this book:
“We need a new sexual revolution. One driven not by the freedom to do what we want but the freedom to reflect who God is. Not by the dry legalism of rule keeping but the deeper human vocation of image bearing. Not by the objectifying use of the other for self-love but the sincere giving of the self in a communion-of-love.”
This feels like the true Christian vision of sex. A self-sacrificial loving interaction between a married couple.
Outside of sex Butler talks through LGBTQ, adoption, abortion, and more- but those feel more like side bars than main arguments.
I’m sympathetic to those who think this book is really problematic, though I think anyone who thinks this book is unquestionable evil is wrong.
I’m sympathetic to those who think this book is helpful, though I think anyone who thinks this book is the magnum opus of a Protestant theology of sex is wrong.
Ultimately this book is just average with some good and some bad, which is probably true of most books in existence.
And it was… meh? It was better than the worst critics make it out to be and worse than the staunchest defenders say it is.
The main pushbacks to the book I’ve seen so far are these (listed from least fair to most fair)
- It gives ammo for abuse- this isn’t true, he explicitly addresses abuse. One could make that argument that someone could read it in the worst light to justify abuse, but that’s the case with Scripture itself and many other things.
- It devalues singleness- I don’t believe this is true, he addresses singleness clearly. But, it’s a book primarily for marital intimacy (which is fine)
- It over emphasizes and divinizes sex in a way that is almost “pagan sexual temple worship”- I think this is a fair critique. He even pulls from pagan examples such as the yin/yang symbol.
- It’s cringey- yes, absolutely at times for sure
- It makes sex and how it reveals the Gospel all about the male orgasm- this is super fair. As far as I can remember he never addresses the female orgasm.
My summary of the book is this- a somewhat helpful book, albeit cringey and with some bad parts, outlining a theology of sex/marriage/the body/and relationships that only became a controversy because TGC shared an excerpt (and people don’t like TGC) that was the most “male headship/men initiate” part of the book (probably because it aligned with TGC’s theology). I don’t know if I would’ve even heard of the book if TGC didn’t post the worst part of the book (which it was, that excerpt was so cringe (at best)).
Now, one could argue that it’s a good thing that it became a controversy because we are able to discuss his bad theology now.
Maybe.
Is this book more bad than good?
I don’t know. Probably depends on who is reading and how critical they can read.
Would I recommend it to someone?
Probably not
This paragraph below is(in my opinion) his main theme of the book
“The Pentateuch is structured as a chi-asm--a literary style popular in Hebrew writing with mirrored bookends that work their way inward toward a climax in the middle. If you want to know the main point of a chiasm, look at its center.
So what's the center of the Pentateuch? The Day of Atonement (in Leviticus 16). This is the view commonly held by biblical scholars, given the structure of the Pentateuch. This was the annual day when the Most Holy Place of the temple could be entered through sacrifice. According to Michael Morales, a renowned biblical scholar, this structure means the central point of the Pentateuch is this: union with the presence of God through the shedding of blood. That's the heart of the Pentateuch. Union with God through the shedding of blood.
Sex is iconic of this center. As we've seen, sex points toward union with God through the shedding of blood. That's not to say sex is the main point of Scripture. Rather, it is to say sex is a sign of the main point of Scripture. And a central one at that. The point of the Pentateuch becomes the point of the biblical story as a whole, fulfilled in Christ and the church: union with God through the shedding of blood. Sex is a sign of this destination, from the outset of the biblical story.”
There’s some truth in this paragraph, some unhelpful overstatement in this section, and some cringe- which is a decent summary of the book.
It is good to ground sex in a theological vision of the body, the Imago Dei, marital union, God’s design, etc. But, any time you decide that something is an icon of God and write a book defending that, you are going to get over your skis a little bit and stretch your image too far. In humorous ways we’ve seen this with those who write the “Star Wars/Harry Potter Bible,” but sex is less humorous when you take it too far.
He said this later, which would have been a more helpful theme for him to run with in this book:
“We need a new sexual revolution. One driven not by the freedom to do what we want but the freedom to reflect who God is. Not by the dry legalism of rule keeping but the deeper human vocation of image bearing. Not by the objectifying use of the other for self-love but the sincere giving of the self in a communion-of-love.”
This feels like the true Christian vision of sex. A self-sacrificial loving interaction between a married couple.
Outside of sex Butler talks through LGBTQ, adoption, abortion, and more- but those feel more like side bars than main arguments.
I’m sympathetic to those who think this book is really problematic, though I think anyone who thinks this book is unquestionable evil is wrong.
I’m sympathetic to those who think this book is helpful, though I think anyone who thinks this book is the magnum opus of a Protestant theology of sex is wrong.
Ultimately this book is just average with some good and some bad, which is probably true of most books in existence.
April 11, 2023
Sex is beautiful. It is also sacred. When God created the human race, he was highly pleased. When sin entered the world, all hell broke loose. Whatever God had created became corrupted or tainted with sin. Sex is one of them. Just like how Adam and Eve allowed sin to turn their innocence into shame, more often than not, sex had negative connotations. What God had created as good and beautiful, descended into something people are generally ashamed of. So, they hide. They say that sex talk equals promiscuity. They presume that any thoughts of sexuality or sexual act are "dirty" until proven otherwise. We need a healthy correction to this beautiful gift of God. This book is an attempt to do just that. It studies the intent of God's gift, the beauty, the mystery, and the vision God has for us. In other words, sex is a beautiful thing from God and we need to recover this beauty culturally, mentally, and theologically. Butler first looks at the way modern culture has corrupted the original meaning and intent of sex. He compares the biblical and cultural use of language to describe sex. One of the distinctions is how the Bible does not shy away from the description, unlike the way modern culture treats the subject. Perhaps, this has something to do with the way sin has triggered the human tendency to hide things that they perceive as inherently shameful. Butler then makes his case by boldly pushing back against the cultural norms with two words: Generosity and Hospitality. Taking on biblical boldness, he tries to connect sex with the nature of grace. Using complementary language, one party receives while the other gives. Butler makes a theological stretch (albeit a stretch too far), to cement the roles of each gender into the giving and receiving metaphor. He spends some time describing what union is and why it is beautiful. Going back to the umbrella of God's creation, sex is indeed a beautiful gift from God. Freedom and grace accompany this beautiful gift. Using God's identity as the Triune God, he shows us how we are made to belong to one another. He then goes on to describe and also redeem words deemed taboo, like "orgasm," "making love," "semen," "vagina," etc. He also covers topics with regard to abortion, adultery, birth control, diversity, divorce, singleness, gay-sex, "the leave and cleave gospel," and the dangers of "cheap sex," the "sexual prosperity gospel," the latter being the comparison between purity keeping and legalism. In that aspect, I think Butler has given us lots of food for thought on how to think about such issues from a biblical standpoint.
Part One describes the beauty of sex as what God has created. Part Two looks at the ways the world has corrupted the thinking of sexual matters. Part Three is Butler's attempt to redeem human sexuality based on God's vision. He begins with a humourous take on sex based on his childhood perception of a trampoline in his parents' bedroom. He ends with a final declaration and we are all made in the image of God, and blessed with the reality of love.
My Thoughts
==============
I remember one of the most poignant sayings about medicines, in general, is from the Canadian physician, Dr. William Osler who once said, "The person who takes medicine must recover twice, once from the disease and once from the medicine." The stronger the push, the stronger the push-back. This is exactly what is happening with this book and the reactions to it. First, let me comment on his attempt to describe the problem. I think Butler recognizes the importance to destigmatize sexuality and sex in general. In a culture inundated with sexual images that portray sex negatively, sex has become a taboo subject, especially among conservative circles. While most modern societies have progressed beyond the Puritan lifestyles of the Victorian era, there is still a sense of widespread reservation when people mention sex or the sex act. Many words and symbols used in modern times tend to paint sex somewhat negatively. Movies with explicit sexual scenes will have disclaimers that say, "Viewer discretion is advised." Feminists accused advertising agencies of sexualizing females through scantily clad women or provocative images. Pornography has moved from printed tabloids and magazines to the Internet. Commercials on birth control, hormone medication, and other stimulants tend to be shown discreetly during the day and particularly with certain movies with heavy sexual content. Even in language, some words associated with sex are connected with crudeness and vulgarity, not to be used in mainstream society.
In a pushback against Butler's prescription, controversy has arisen over the use of certain language in the book. There is concern about sexualizing or stereotyping women using theological justification. Butler has all the right intent. However, his prescription has become an unwelcome theological stretch. He is right to point out that sex won't lead to our salvation. He is however out of line to compare the human act of sex with the nature of God. This is especially when he becomes too explicit with regard to the giving of oneself as if the sexual act is all about reaching the climactic ecstasy. He is right about mutual self-giving but his use of the words like "penetrates," "pours out," and "receives" can make some readers uncomfortable. Worse, it leads to certain stereotyping about who is the one giving and who is the one receiving. With regard to this point about how one party gives while the other receives, I would instead say: In a one-flesh union, both parties mutually agree to give and to receive in a loving union. In our modern culture, inclusivity and gender equality are increasingly sacred, so anything that compromises them will risk a vigorous pushback.
Having said that, part of the discomfort or angry pushback might be due to reservations over this topic. Some of us might not even be out of the cultural "shutting the lid on sex" woods yet. Moreover, our views and attempts to redeem sex are still based on an imperfect, sinful, or even wounded human lens. For example, a sexually abused individual might not take to heart easily the points mentioned in this book.
If there is one way to summarize the book, it would be this. The intent is good, and the description is fair, but the prescription is over the top. Will I recommend this book? Cautiously perhaps.
Joshua Ryan Butler is a lead pastor of Redemption Tempe, a thriving church near Arizona State University. He is also an award-winning author of two critically acclaimed books. He and his wife, Holly, along with their three children, reside in Arizona.
Rating: 3.75 stars out of 5.
conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Waterbrook & Multnomah Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
Part One describes the beauty of sex as what God has created. Part Two looks at the ways the world has corrupted the thinking of sexual matters. Part Three is Butler's attempt to redeem human sexuality based on God's vision. He begins with a humourous take on sex based on his childhood perception of a trampoline in his parents' bedroom. He ends with a final declaration and we are all made in the image of God, and blessed with the reality of love.
My Thoughts
==============
I remember one of the most poignant sayings about medicines, in general, is from the Canadian physician, Dr. William Osler who once said, "The person who takes medicine must recover twice, once from the disease and once from the medicine." The stronger the push, the stronger the push-back. This is exactly what is happening with this book and the reactions to it. First, let me comment on his attempt to describe the problem. I think Butler recognizes the importance to destigmatize sexuality and sex in general. In a culture inundated with sexual images that portray sex negatively, sex has become a taboo subject, especially among conservative circles. While most modern societies have progressed beyond the Puritan lifestyles of the Victorian era, there is still a sense of widespread reservation when people mention sex or the sex act. Many words and symbols used in modern times tend to paint sex somewhat negatively. Movies with explicit sexual scenes will have disclaimers that say, "Viewer discretion is advised." Feminists accused advertising agencies of sexualizing females through scantily clad women or provocative images. Pornography has moved from printed tabloids and magazines to the Internet. Commercials on birth control, hormone medication, and other stimulants tend to be shown discreetly during the day and particularly with certain movies with heavy sexual content. Even in language, some words associated with sex are connected with crudeness and vulgarity, not to be used in mainstream society.
In a pushback against Butler's prescription, controversy has arisen over the use of certain language in the book. There is concern about sexualizing or stereotyping women using theological justification. Butler has all the right intent. However, his prescription has become an unwelcome theological stretch. He is right to point out that sex won't lead to our salvation. He is however out of line to compare the human act of sex with the nature of God. This is especially when he becomes too explicit with regard to the giving of oneself as if the sexual act is all about reaching the climactic ecstasy. He is right about mutual self-giving but his use of the words like "penetrates," "pours out," and "receives" can make some readers uncomfortable. Worse, it leads to certain stereotyping about who is the one giving and who is the one receiving. With regard to this point about how one party gives while the other receives, I would instead say: In a one-flesh union, both parties mutually agree to give and to receive in a loving union. In our modern culture, inclusivity and gender equality are increasingly sacred, so anything that compromises them will risk a vigorous pushback.
Having said that, part of the discomfort or angry pushback might be due to reservations over this topic. Some of us might not even be out of the cultural "shutting the lid on sex" woods yet. Moreover, our views and attempts to redeem sex are still based on an imperfect, sinful, or even wounded human lens. For example, a sexually abused individual might not take to heart easily the points mentioned in this book.
If there is one way to summarize the book, it would be this. The intent is good, and the description is fair, but the prescription is over the top. Will I recommend this book? Cautiously perhaps.
Joshua Ryan Butler is a lead pastor of Redemption Tempe, a thriving church near Arizona State University. He is also an award-winning author of two critically acclaimed books. He and his wife, Holly, along with their three children, reside in Arizona.
Rating: 3.75 stars out of 5.
conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Waterbrook & Multnomah Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
November 29, 2023
Gonna be vague on the specifics a bit because..
Ew ew ew ew.!!
This is a book written with as much maturity and forethought as a seminary student making a Song of Solomon joke. Joshua butler bends over BACKWARDS to present to the reader a warped gospel that praises anything remotely phallic. Just when I think all the crazy takes have passed and am relieved to be..well just simply bored reading this book. He decides to talk about hymens or something.
Butler’s own ideas about sexuality are so heavily influenced by a mystification of men, and father figures and a tokenization of women and maternal figures. In midst of 300 pages of him trying to push a square argument through a round hole, Butler completely negates to observe the most obvious examples of how we are to engage in a covenantal relationship. Such as being in a loving relationship, or simply acting like Jesus!! Instead everything needs to be an allegory, or an awkward joke that he writes to be way too long.
I will admit, his comparison to the life of Christ with the leave and Cleave passage of genesis was particularly interesting. He also chooses to advocate for better treatment of LGBTQIA people in the church on more than one occasion (not without getting a few “it’s still an abomination” jabs in first).
Butler manages to write a book that he can almost pass off as cohesive. Outside of the online community ripping this book to shreds I am worried about what book club or youth group might get a hold of this and let their guards down to some very toxic teachings. Make no mistake, the narrative pushed in this book is a dangerous one. Accountability must be held to butler and everyone who endorsed this book.
Ew ew ew ew.!!
This is a book written with as much maturity and forethought as a seminary student making a Song of Solomon joke. Joshua butler bends over BACKWARDS to present to the reader a warped gospel that praises anything remotely phallic. Just when I think all the crazy takes have passed and am relieved to be..well just simply bored reading this book. He decides to talk about hymens or something.
Butler’s own ideas about sexuality are so heavily influenced by a mystification of men, and father figures and a tokenization of women and maternal figures. In midst of 300 pages of him trying to push a square argument through a round hole, Butler completely negates to observe the most obvious examples of how we are to engage in a covenantal relationship. Such as being in a loving relationship, or simply acting like Jesus!! Instead everything needs to be an allegory, or an awkward joke that he writes to be way too long.
I will admit, his comparison to the life of Christ with the leave and Cleave passage of genesis was particularly interesting. He also chooses to advocate for better treatment of LGBTQIA people in the church on more than one occasion (not without getting a few “it’s still an abomination” jabs in first).
Butler manages to write a book that he can almost pass off as cohesive. Outside of the online community ripping this book to shreds I am worried about what book club or youth group might get a hold of this and let their guards down to some very toxic teachings. Make no mistake, the narrative pushed in this book is a dangerous one. Accountability must be held to butler and everyone who endorsed this book.
September 18, 2023
For Christians, we believe the Bible is the source of truth. Josh Butler carefully expands upon what the Bible says about sex and how it is icon representing something greater. At times, it is uncomfortable reading the book, yet, let us remember that the key question is not, does this book make us uncomfortable, but is what Josh is saying true? He grounds his arguments in the Bible, and if we believe the Bible is true, and if we think he has an accurate interpretation, then we should consider what is being written.
For those who disagree with his graphic description of the relationship between God and the church, comparing it to the sexual union, note that the majority of the book after that chapter talks about different subjects, and I think would be very beneficial for most people, even if they disagree with the first part.
For those who are uncomfortable with with how he describes our relationship with Christ using sexual imagery, remember that he is not saying our relationship with Christ IS sexual. It is the other way around, he is saying that the earthly sexual union is only an icon, representing something greater. The relationship with Christ is so much greater than a sexual union.
For those who disagree with his graphic description of the relationship between God and the church, comparing it to the sexual union, note that the majority of the book after that chapter talks about different subjects, and I think would be very beneficial for most people, even if they disagree with the first part.
For those who are uncomfortable with with how he describes our relationship with Christ using sexual imagery, remember that he is not saying our relationship with Christ IS sexual. It is the other way around, he is saying that the earthly sexual union is only an icon, representing something greater. The relationship with Christ is so much greater than a sexual union.
December 6, 2022
Proposing A New View Of Sexual Ethics. This book is remarkably well written and remarkably well balanced, one that no matter your views on any sex or gender related topic, at some point here you're most likely going to fall into the classic preacher joke of "Woah, woah, woah, preacher! You're stepping on my toes!" "I apologize, my [brother/ sister] in Christ. I was aiming for your heart." (and/ or, in this case, the brain as well) :D In other words, no matter your views on these topics coming into this book, there are more than likely going to be things you're wholeheartedly agreeing with... and others that are likely going to make you want to throw the book out of the nearest window. For those who have routinely been condemned by existing Christian ethics, know that there is no condemnation here - indeed, Butler spends a fair amount of time examining exactly what Paul was doing in Romans, one of the oft-cited condemnation passages, and explains how it doesn't really directly apply to sexual issues, but to *all* issues. And yet, at the very same time, Butler does not shy away from the idea that homosexuality is a perversion of God's perfect design and intention, and explains a new view of exactly why he still holds to this position. Ignoring Frank Viola's Parable Of Marvin Snurdley, Butler does a truly remarkable and seemingly thorough job of looking at all issues surrounding sex and gender and shows that traditional views are the closest to being correct... though not always the closest in actual reasoning or in explaining *why* they are correct, which is something he seeks to change here. Oh, and those who have read Ted Dekker's Circle Series are likely to notice some similar language. Indeed, while it is unknown to me if Butler had ever read this particular (somewhat famous in Christian circles) series, Butler here truly elevates and grounds some of the concepts Dekker explores particularly early in that series.
The single star deduction is for prooftexting, which while not *as* prevalent here and while Butler *mostly* explains the full contexts of the passages he spends extended time with (such as the creation account in Genesis and the aforementioned passage of Romans, among a few others), he *does* still engage in citing Biblical verses out of context at times in "support" of some point or another, and I am on a one-man-war to eradicate this practice everywhere I see it. In book reviews, my only weapon is the single star deduction, and thus I apply it in all cases where I notice the problem.
Ultimately this is a book that will prove highly controversial, and yet it is also a book that truly everyone, particularly those who consider themselves "thinkers" or "educated" or "learned" or some such, will need to at least read and consider. Very much recommended.
The single star deduction is for prooftexting, which while not *as* prevalent here and while Butler *mostly* explains the full contexts of the passages he spends extended time with (such as the creation account in Genesis and the aforementioned passage of Romans, among a few others), he *does* still engage in citing Biblical verses out of context at times in "support" of some point or another, and I am on a one-man-war to eradicate this practice everywhere I see it. In book reviews, my only weapon is the single star deduction, and thus I apply it in all cases where I notice the problem.
Ultimately this is a book that will prove highly controversial, and yet it is also a book that truly everyone, particularly those who consider themselves "thinkers" or "educated" or "learned" or some such, will need to at least read and consider. Very much recommended.
May 24, 2023
This is a review for Beautiful Union by Joshua Ryan Butler. I am reviewing this for NetGalley. I chose this book because I have been married 35 years, have a great and godly marriage, am interested in understanding intimacy/the marriage bed, and God's plan for this beautiful act found in His word, and all that entails so I could understand even more for my marriage, and then possibly counsel other marriages. I was not ready for what I found while I read this book, and I am literally in awe y'all!
This book is about is really about the beautiful union that God created and wants with each of us, and Joshua Butler has been given a glimpse into the divine and miraculous relationship between our Creator and ourselves. I literally thought this was going to draw me closer to my husband and really deepen our marriage, and then help me to counsel others, but all that Joshua explains, comes first with our God thru a relationship with Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit! This book used Gods word to show me who God is, how He sees me, what He wants with me, and then how that flows out into my relationship with my husband and then others! It helped me realize the counterfeit and lies that our culture has taught us, but is not what God has designed at all!!! I never really understood how God truly feels about me, and throughout this book in conjunction with the Bible, the Lord whispered into my heart of how He wants a beautiful union with me, and how and why all else is a counterfeit!
I learned through His relationship with Israel, what adultery actually means,, and how it is so damaging, and I learned how seeking the brief joys of the world cannot compare with the joy of being in constant intimacy with my King. This book explained so much to me in a way that I could understand, and will continue to study in addition to the Bible so I can allow the Lord to continue to reveal Himself, and His plan to continue in the intimacy that began many years ago!
Now I can take what I have learned, and continue to grow my relationship with the Lord, and out of that beautiful union will continue to flow to my marriage and the rest of my relationships.
So I give this book a 5 out of 5 stars, and say that I believe it is both well and beautifully written, and it has changed my life, and the way I see God, and my union with Him! But I don't want to keep it all to myself, but want to share it, so I highly recommend you read this book, and let your Creator teach you about the beautiful union He wants to have with you!
This book is about is really about the beautiful union that God created and wants with each of us, and Joshua Butler has been given a glimpse into the divine and miraculous relationship between our Creator and ourselves. I literally thought this was going to draw me closer to my husband and really deepen our marriage, and then help me to counsel others, but all that Joshua explains, comes first with our God thru a relationship with Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit! This book used Gods word to show me who God is, how He sees me, what He wants with me, and then how that flows out into my relationship with my husband and then others! It helped me realize the counterfeit and lies that our culture has taught us, but is not what God has designed at all!!! I never really understood how God truly feels about me, and throughout this book in conjunction with the Bible, the Lord whispered into my heart of how He wants a beautiful union with me, and how and why all else is a counterfeit!
I learned through His relationship with Israel, what adultery actually means,, and how it is so damaging, and I learned how seeking the brief joys of the world cannot compare with the joy of being in constant intimacy with my King. This book explained so much to me in a way that I could understand, and will continue to study in addition to the Bible so I can allow the Lord to continue to reveal Himself, and His plan to continue in the intimacy that began many years ago!
Now I can take what I have learned, and continue to grow my relationship with the Lord, and out of that beautiful union will continue to flow to my marriage and the rest of my relationships.
So I give this book a 5 out of 5 stars, and say that I believe it is both well and beautifully written, and it has changed my life, and the way I see God, and my union with Him! But I don't want to keep it all to myself, but want to share it, so I highly recommend you read this book, and let your Creator teach you about the beautiful union He wants to have with you!
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May 5, 2023What I liked
The metaphors of the union of man and woman in marriage as representing the union of Christ and His bride - the church. Christians already knows this. But the author manages to edify us with even more examples of this metaphor in scripture.
What I didn’t like
Metaphors function only from an optimal or appropriate range. Retreat too far from this distance and they fail to resonate. Come too close and you destroy it with excessive scrutiny. Besides, there is a reason why human communication is so rich in figures of speech. We know from experience that some things do not become clearer or easier to accept when we make it more explicit.
The author, despite his good intentions, doesn’t seem to understand this. Several times in the Bible, the relationship between Christ and the Church or God and Israel is described with the metaphor of marriage. God is the bride and the church/Israel is the bridegroom. That is how it remains. The marriage metaphor is in the appropriate zone. But the author takes what is meant to be a wholly transported meaning of the metaphor and pries it apart. The marriage metaphor becomes a sexual metaphor with foreplay and penetration and ejaculation. He extends this explicitness not only into the metaphor of Christ and the church but extends it recklessly into the trinity.
In every new section he will start of with an important point with an edifying metaphor and you will be forced to nod along, but then he will hold on to the metaphor for too long or zoom in too close. You will inevitably find yourself moving from nodding enthusiastically to shouting, “let go of that metaphor! You are strangling it!” Let me give you an example:
The crucifixion and resurrection are beautifully described as Christ leaving His father and mother and cleaving to His bride. So far so good. But not knowing when to let go, he continues. In order to milk this metaphor to death, he interprets “it is finished” as “it is consummated”. The He proceeds to move from the marriage metaphor to the sexual metaphor by reminding us that the French call orgasm the little death.
This is a regular occurrence, marring an otherwise wonderful book and a glorious concept with irreverence and awkwardness-inducing explicitness. This entire book could have been re-written without all the semen and orgasms and penetration and ejaculation.
The metaphors of the union of man and woman in marriage as representing the union of Christ and His bride - the church. Christians already knows this. But the author manages to edify us with even more examples of this metaphor in scripture.
What I didn’t like
Metaphors function only from an optimal or appropriate range. Retreat too far from this distance and they fail to resonate. Come too close and you destroy it with excessive scrutiny. Besides, there is a reason why human communication is so rich in figures of speech. We know from experience that some things do not become clearer or easier to accept when we make it more explicit.
The author, despite his good intentions, doesn’t seem to understand this. Several times in the Bible, the relationship between Christ and the Church or God and Israel is described with the metaphor of marriage. God is the bride and the church/Israel is the bridegroom. That is how it remains. The marriage metaphor is in the appropriate zone. But the author takes what is meant to be a wholly transported meaning of the metaphor and pries it apart. The marriage metaphor becomes a sexual metaphor with foreplay and penetration and ejaculation. He extends this explicitness not only into the metaphor of Christ and the church but extends it recklessly into the trinity.
In every new section he will start of with an important point with an edifying metaphor and you will be forced to nod along, but then he will hold on to the metaphor for too long or zoom in too close. You will inevitably find yourself moving from nodding enthusiastically to shouting, “let go of that metaphor! You are strangling it!” Let me give you an example:
The crucifixion and resurrection are beautifully described as Christ leaving His father and mother and cleaving to His bride. So far so good. But not knowing when to let go, he continues. In order to milk this metaphor to death, he interprets “it is finished” as “it is consummated”. The He proceeds to move from the marriage metaphor to the sexual metaphor by reminding us that the French call orgasm the little death.
This is a regular occurrence, marring an otherwise wonderful book and a glorious concept with irreverence and awkwardness-inducing explicitness. This entire book could have been re-written without all the semen and orgasms and penetration and ejaculation.
April 29, 2023
Jesus came not to beat you up over your past but to fight for your future. He’s not out to imprison you in guilt or shame but to liberate you for his kingdom. Jesus came not to condemn the world but to save it, and to draw you—wherever you may be coming from—into union with him forever.
Butler, Joshua Ryan. Beautiful Union . The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
The heart of this book is about union with Jesus. With theological skill and pastoral care, Butler immerses his brush in a mixed palette of G-O-D and S-E-X to deliver a biblically refreshing portrait of divine love.
This book has refined my understanding of sex and filled it with so much more meaning and beauty. I found myself in tears as I reflected on the intimacy within God from which I find my being and purpose. The book stirs my desire to love and celebrate women more, and to appreciate the wisdom of God that is on full display in the image bearing we do together, man and woman.
Please get this book and read it thoughtfully and responsibly. Take your time to meditate and reflect on its poetic passages and numerous biblical references.
To the author and his contributors: Thank you so much for writing this book. You've done a very brave and admirable thing by bringing this book into the world. Your faithfulness has blessed me and many others. I admire you and look forward to celebrating with you one day..
Butler, Joshua Ryan. Beautiful Union . The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
The heart of this book is about union with Jesus. With theological skill and pastoral care, Butler immerses his brush in a mixed palette of G-O-D and S-E-X to deliver a biblically refreshing portrait of divine love.
This book has refined my understanding of sex and filled it with so much more meaning and beauty. I found myself in tears as I reflected on the intimacy within God from which I find my being and purpose. The book stirs my desire to love and celebrate women more, and to appreciate the wisdom of God that is on full display in the image bearing we do together, man and woman.
Please get this book and read it thoughtfully and responsibly. Take your time to meditate and reflect on its poetic passages and numerous biblical references.
To the author and his contributors: Thank you so much for writing this book. You've done a very brave and admirable thing by bringing this book into the world. Your faithfulness has blessed me and many others. I admire you and look forward to celebrating with you one day..
April 26, 2023
The is a long, but perhaps forgotten history of association with spiritual and sexual notions in Christianity, particularly in its mysticism. *Beautiful Union* is not a book of Christian mysticism and has a much less serious and more playful tone. But against the backdrop of the history of Christian poetry and mysticism the overt sexual ideas are hardly surprising or shocking. In Robert Barron’s book *Catholicism* he comments on the ecstasy of Saint Teresa: “I can only smile when post-Freudians announce that they have 'discovered' the unconscious sexuality lurking behind Teresa's mystical experience. There was, I dare say, precious little unconscious about it, for the association of the intense union with God and sexuality is as old as the biblical Song of Songs."
*Beautiful Union* caused a major firestorm on Twitter when The Gospel Coalition released an excerpt. It was a massive and unfair overreaction. I don’t like to see such unfairness go unanswered. I enjoyed the book and thought it works well as an introduction to important ideas in the Christian tradition. Readers wanting to go deeper can find similar ideas developed in a more formal and technical way in Pope John Paul II’s *Theology of the Body*.
*Beautiful Union* caused a major firestorm on Twitter when The Gospel Coalition released an excerpt. It was a massive and unfair overreaction. I don’t like to see such unfairness go unanswered. I enjoyed the book and thought it works well as an introduction to important ideas in the Christian tradition. Readers wanting to go deeper can find similar ideas developed in a more formal and technical way in Pope John Paul II’s *Theology of the Body*.
November 24, 2024
A beautiful book with some fascinating ideas
Butler writes flamboyantly but very sensitively and does a great job of repainting the big picture of the Bible's view of sex and marriage as a symbol of our relationship with God. Occasionally I think he gets a bit carried away - I don't think his take on circumcision is very helpful - but he didn't deserve to be cancelled as he was for the extract of this that was posted on TGC.
Section 1 and 2 of the book are very good and helpful for sharpening and enriching our defense of a biblical sexual ethic, and they remind us that we do need to build a positive sense of what sex is for before we can show what it's not and what's not ok.
Would recommend for a Christian not sure about the goodness of what the Bible teaches on this, but perhaps not for someone super new to Christianity.
Although having read some other reviews I wonder if this is a better book for men than women, or more critically if as a man I'm blind to its male centric approach. But I'm not sure that it does fail in that way, I guess I'm just not very well placed to tell.
Butler writes flamboyantly but very sensitively and does a great job of repainting the big picture of the Bible's view of sex and marriage as a symbol of our relationship with God. Occasionally I think he gets a bit carried away - I don't think his take on circumcision is very helpful - but he didn't deserve to be cancelled as he was for the extract of this that was posted on TGC.
Section 1 and 2 of the book are very good and helpful for sharpening and enriching our defense of a biblical sexual ethic, and they remind us that we do need to build a positive sense of what sex is for before we can show what it's not and what's not ok.
Would recommend for a Christian not sure about the goodness of what the Bible teaches on this, but perhaps not for someone super new to Christianity.
Although having read some other reviews I wonder if this is a better book for men than women, or more critically if as a man I'm blind to its male centric approach. But I'm not sure that it does fail in that way, I guess I'm just not very well placed to tell.
March 3, 2023
The Gospel Coalition has posted about this book, and even retracted the praise it had for it. In the first chapter alone it shows toxic relationships as God's way and objectifying women for sex because it is owed for men to properly worship God. Pastors that admitted to not reading the whole thing and endorsed it have gone on twitter to say they were wrong.
Just another thing added to my list on why I have distanced myself from the church, toxic and damaging narratives such as this that lead to more harm than any good that could ever be intended.
Just another thing added to my list on why I have distanced myself from the church, toxic and damaging narratives such as this that lead to more harm than any good that could ever be intended.
March 7, 2023
To be clear, I did not read this book but read an excerpt only. I can't unsee that. In fact, the excerpt got so much bad publicity that it was pulled. And as of today, March 6, 2023, no one can review the book on Amazon either. I have never seen this before, so it's probably because the publisher and author are worried about all the negative publicity.
In any case, I do not want to be too specific here, but the author equates sex with Jesus's relationship with the church and uses graphic descriptions of such.
Heretical. 1/5 stars.
In any case, I do not want to be too specific here, but the author equates sex with Jesus's relationship with the church and uses graphic descriptions of such.
Heretical. 1/5 stars.
July 23, 2024
If you can get over the instinctual cringe reflex that comes from living in our westernized, oversexualized culture, this book is rich with theology that explains the entire narrative of scripture. It gave me a deeper understanding of the Gospel, the nature of the Church, the brokenness of our world, and Christ's love for us.
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