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The Virgin Playbook #2
Screwed
My best friend’s older brother excels at many things—being a bossy grump, a jerk, and...this hopeless virgin's fake fiancé?
I need a guy who understands that this is all pretend, and who better than a man who can't stand me—and vice versa? Besides, Derrick is the kind of cocky, confident, successful dude bro my gram will adore.
We'll convince my ailing grandmother I’m not going to die alone, Derrick will honor that favor he owes me, and we'll part ways as enemies with NO benefits.
It’s a rock-solid plan…until it isn’t.
Turns out I may have made a slight miscalculation.
Now Derrick is charming my family, sweeping me off my feet, and making me want crazy things.
Suddenly, I think I might actually want him to be my first and maybe…my only?
Yeah, I’m screwed.
So bleeping screwed.
I need a guy who understands that this is all pretend, and who better than a man who can't stand me—and vice versa? Besides, Derrick is the kind of cocky, confident, successful dude bro my gram will adore.
We'll convince my ailing grandmother I’m not going to die alone, Derrick will honor that favor he owes me, and we'll part ways as enemies with NO benefits.
It’s a rock-solid plan…until it isn’t.
Turns out I may have made a slight miscalculation.
Now Derrick is charming my family, sweeping me off my feet, and making me want crazy things.
Suddenly, I think I might actually want him to be my first and maybe…my only?
Yeah, I’m screwed.
So bleeping screwed.
7 pages, Audible Audio
First published April 19, 2022
About the author
Lili Valente
180 books4,111 followersVisit Lili at www.lilivalente.com
Author of over forty novels, USA Today Bestseller Lili Valente writes everything from steamy suspense to laugh-out-loud romantic comedies. She can't resist a story where love wins big. Because love should always win. She lives in Vermont with her two big-hearted boy children and a dog named Pippa Jane.
*Lili rarely visits this site as it is a site intended for readers, not authors. If you have questions, the best way to reach Lili is through her website contact form. Happy reading!
Author of over forty novels, USA Today Bestseller Lili Valente writes everything from steamy suspense to laugh-out-loud romantic comedies. She can't resist a story where love wins big. Because love should always win. She lives in Vermont with her two big-hearted boy children and a dog named Pippa Jane.
*Lili rarely visits this site as it is a site intended for readers, not authors. If you have questions, the best way to reach Lili is through her website contact form. Happy reading!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews
April 25, 2022
This was a funny, sweet, addictive read…
If I wasn’t completely in love with this series - this tight-knit group of friends, I would be totally hooked now. Harlow and Derrick had history. They were friends sort of. Always up for an argument or squabble – or a reason to hide. Most definitely. With this well-meaning plot, they were (surprisingly) both up for it. It was for a well-meaning reason, it wouldn’t hurt anyone, and they could both walk away unscathed. Of course! Well, probably… Maybe? That’s when it all got incredibly…interesting.
The core group of friends were expanding so Derrick, who was associated by friendship, fit right in. The friction, the common goal, the history, it came together in a humourous and steam-filled romp that had me smiling all the way through. I’m not one for any type of secrecy – fake drama is to be avoided at costs - but Harlow and Derrick convinced me it could be done. Full of heart, humour and heat, this was a great way to shake off the world and hide in a friend-centric, romantic romp! Who knew losing one’s heart (and v-card) could be so much fun! ~Diane, 5 stars
If I wasn’t completely in love with this series - this tight-knit group of friends, I would be totally hooked now. Harlow and Derrick had history. They were friends sort of. Always up for an argument or squabble – or a reason to hide. Most definitely. With this well-meaning plot, they were (surprisingly) both up for it. It was for a well-meaning reason, it wouldn’t hurt anyone, and they could both walk away unscathed. Of course! Well, probably… Maybe? That’s when it all got incredibly…interesting.
The core group of friends were expanding so Derrick, who was associated by friendship, fit right in. The friction, the common goal, the history, it came together in a humourous and steam-filled romp that had me smiling all the way through. I’m not one for any type of secrecy – fake drama is to be avoided at costs - but Harlow and Derrick convinced me it could be done. Full of heart, humour and heat, this was a great way to shake off the world and hide in a friend-centric, romantic romp! Who knew losing one’s heart (and v-card) could be so much fun! ~Diane, 5 stars
January 7, 2025
As a teenager Harlow knew she had a thing for her best friend’s older brother. But that is such a cliché and when she finally tries to make a move on him and he turns her down Harlow is determined to hate Derrick for the rest of her life. But everything changes when their paths cross several years later.
This story is fun and lighthearted with a good amount of romantic will they/won’t they. I would highly recommend it for fans of rom-com.
This story is fun and lighthearted with a good amount of romantic will they/won’t they. I would highly recommend it for fans of rom-com.
August 2, 2023
Oh brother, I am struggling with this story. I started losing interest at around 32%. I am not connecting with Harlow. I find her annoying and something else disparaging that I can’t name right now, prideful maybe, I don’t know.
I’m now at 51% and still struggling. Still so boring and dragging along. I’m starting to feel like I may not be into this author anymore. Book 1 was a bit like this pace, but this is worse. I’m honestly not sure why I’m continuing.
Ugh what is a sock cap?! Is it a beanie or knit cap for your head? How are they different? Is this a regional term since I’ve never heard/read this wordage before?
Almost 90% and I still find are irritating and now stupid. I have also discovered that I really don’t like virgin stories. I hate the term “V-card.” I really dislike “soaked panties.”
Alright I finished this torture. I am not reading anymore of this series and I am not sure I’ll read anything else by this author anymore. There was some other series by this author I remember liking, but it isn’t in Kindle Unlimited like all the other stories this author wrote. There is a new series by this author, but if there are virgins I’m out.
Sad there wasn’t a real epilogue and this was just a blah predictable ending.
Overall rating 1.5 stars from me.
I’m now at 51% and still struggling. Still so boring and dragging along. I’m starting to feel like I may not be into this author anymore. Book 1 was a bit like this pace, but this is worse. I’m honestly not sure why I’m continuing.
Ugh what is a sock cap?! Is it a beanie or knit cap for your head? How are they different? Is this a regional term since I’ve never heard/read this wordage before?
Almost 90% and I still find are irritating and now stupid. I have also discovered that I really don’t like virgin stories. I hate the term “V-card.” I really dislike “soaked panties.”
Alright I finished this torture. I am not reading anymore of this series and I am not sure I’ll read anything else by this author anymore. There was some other series by this author I remember liking, but it isn’t in Kindle Unlimited like all the other stories this author wrote. There is a new series by this author, but if there are virgins I’m out.
Sad there wasn’t a real epilogue and this was just a blah predictable ending.
Overall rating 1.5 stars from me.
April 19, 2022
**Audiobook Review**
Screwed is the second book in Lili Valente’s V-Card Diaries series. It is a hilariously sweet, rom-com that captivated me from beginning to end. This story is an enemies to lovers, best friends-brother and fake relationship romance.
Derrick is Evie’s older brother, whom was introduced in Scored. He and Harlow (Evie’s best friend) had a real hate to love vibe going on strong near the end of that book and I was eager to find out more behind the reason why. Derrick is an over-protective big brother to Evie. He is also the serious, moody-broody type. His relationship with Harlow is a complicated one, but there is no denying the strong attraction they have for one another. The tension, and steam between them was explosive.
Harlow is a twenty-four year old virgin. She has had a string of unsuccessful relationships. Harlow is sassy, quirky and sweet. She is eager to find a man to loose her v-card to. One that can be a quick hookup with no strings attached as she wants to dispel the theory that the man she looses her v-card to will become her life long partner.
Harlow’s Grams is in poor health so she comes up with the crazy plan to have Derrick pose as her fake fiancé at a family reunion. The two have been able to keep their distance over the years, but now that they are going to be in such close proximity to the other, while they fake being in a relationship together will change everything.
This story is fast paced and highly addictive, I couldn’t get enough of these characters, the hilarious antics, family dynamic and steamy chemistry between Harlow and Derrick.
I love that Lili narrates her own audiobooks. Her voice exudes passion for her characters, and she played the sarcastic, and sweet sides to Harlow perfectly. Jason Clarke was fantastic as Derrick. His voice is equally gruff and growly and his performance as Derrick was spot on. I loved it.
Screwed is the second book in Lili Valente’s V-Card Diaries series. It is a hilariously sweet, rom-com that captivated me from beginning to end. This story is an enemies to lovers, best friends-brother and fake relationship romance.
Derrick is Evie’s older brother, whom was introduced in Scored. He and Harlow (Evie’s best friend) had a real hate to love vibe going on strong near the end of that book and I was eager to find out more behind the reason why. Derrick is an over-protective big brother to Evie. He is also the serious, moody-broody type. His relationship with Harlow is a complicated one, but there is no denying the strong attraction they have for one another. The tension, and steam between them was explosive.
Harlow is a twenty-four year old virgin. She has had a string of unsuccessful relationships. Harlow is sassy, quirky and sweet. She is eager to find a man to loose her v-card to. One that can be a quick hookup with no strings attached as she wants to dispel the theory that the man she looses her v-card to will become her life long partner.
Harlow’s Grams is in poor health so she comes up with the crazy plan to have Derrick pose as her fake fiancé at a family reunion. The two have been able to keep their distance over the years, but now that they are going to be in such close proximity to the other, while they fake being in a relationship together will change everything.
This story is fast paced and highly addictive, I couldn’t get enough of these characters, the hilarious antics, family dynamic and steamy chemistry between Harlow and Derrick.
I love that Lili narrates her own audiobooks. Her voice exudes passion for her characters, and she played the sarcastic, and sweet sides to Harlow perfectly. Jason Clarke was fantastic as Derrick. His voice is equally gruff and growly and his performance as Derrick was spot on. I loved it.
April 7, 2022
"Screwed, I mutter to my reflection around my toothbrush. You are so screwed.”
Screwed: A V-Card Diaries Novel by Lili Valente is an enemies-to-lovers, best friend's older brother, fake fiancé, virgin romance. Harlow has big dreams for herself and her career path, none of which include falling prey to "first dick fever” like the other women in her family. First Dick Fever (aka FDF) is falling stupidly and irreversibly in love with the first man to put in more than ‘just the tip'. Much to her dismay, trying to find the perfect first person to punch her V-card is more difficult than she thought it would be. Thus, she finds herself a twenty-four-year-old virgin with a disastrous dating life.
Because her beloved Gram's health is failing, their family reunion is moved up and Harlow is feeling
the pressure to produce a fake bovfriend. She wants Gram to know that Harlow is happy, and will have
someone to take of her after she's gone. Enter Derrick, aka Satan, her best friend Evie's older brother.
As luck would have it, he just happens to be taking a ski vacation at the same resort as Harlow's family. There has always been something between Harlow and Derrick, going back to her teen years when she asked him to be her first, but he declined. He agrees to play her fake boyfriend while on the trip, but then throws her for a loop by upping the ante with a fake proposal. He realizes maybe he's always had a crush on Harlow. And maybe her dislike of him was her convincing herself that she wasn’t interested in him. Maybe their constant fighting has been foreplay all along. Will Derrick and Harlow be able to pull off their fake engagement? Will Harlow fall victim to FDF after all?
This book is narrated by Lili Valente and Jason Clarke. We are obsessed with this duo. Lili has
perfect comedic timing in her delivery. Jason is just the right amount of bossy, charming and dirty. His female voice is so lovely and truly reflects the vulnerability Harlow feels.
Screwed can be read as a stand-alone, but it is the second book in the V-Card Diaries series. To fully
appreciate the characters, we recommend you read the books in order. The first book, Scored is about
lan and Evie's love story. Cameron's book, Seduced, will be the third installment of the series. We cannot wait to read more from Lili. We love her writing, and we adore this fun, quirky and oh so lovable group of characters!
“Though I will say that the perfect first person is worth waiting for. Totally worth it. And that spanking is way more fun than I thought it would be.”
Screwed: A V-Card Diaries Novel by Lili Valente is an enemies-to-lovers, best friend's older brother, fake fiancé, virgin romance. Harlow has big dreams for herself and her career path, none of which include falling prey to "first dick fever” like the other women in her family. First Dick Fever (aka FDF) is falling stupidly and irreversibly in love with the first man to put in more than ‘just the tip'. Much to her dismay, trying to find the perfect first person to punch her V-card is more difficult than she thought it would be. Thus, she finds herself a twenty-four-year-old virgin with a disastrous dating life.
Because her beloved Gram's health is failing, their family reunion is moved up and Harlow is feeling
the pressure to produce a fake bovfriend. She wants Gram to know that Harlow is happy, and will have
someone to take of her after she's gone. Enter Derrick, aka Satan, her best friend Evie's older brother.
As luck would have it, he just happens to be taking a ski vacation at the same resort as Harlow's family. There has always been something between Harlow and Derrick, going back to her teen years when she asked him to be her first, but he declined. He agrees to play her fake boyfriend while on the trip, but then throws her for a loop by upping the ante with a fake proposal. He realizes maybe he's always had a crush on Harlow. And maybe her dislike of him was her convincing herself that she wasn’t interested in him. Maybe their constant fighting has been foreplay all along. Will Derrick and Harlow be able to pull off their fake engagement? Will Harlow fall victim to FDF after all?
This book is narrated by Lili Valente and Jason Clarke. We are obsessed with this duo. Lili has
perfect comedic timing in her delivery. Jason is just the right amount of bossy, charming and dirty. His female voice is so lovely and truly reflects the vulnerability Harlow feels.
Screwed can be read as a stand-alone, but it is the second book in the V-Card Diaries series. To fully
appreciate the characters, we recommend you read the books in order. The first book, Scored is about
lan and Evie's love story. Cameron's book, Seduced, will be the third installment of the series. We cannot wait to read more from Lili. We love her writing, and we adore this fun, quirky and oh so lovable group of characters!
“Though I will say that the perfect first person is worth waiting for. Totally worth it. And that spanking is way more fun than I thought it would be.”
April 8, 2022
**My thanks to the author for providing me with a free copy for an honest review**
Harlow is Evie's best friend and Derek is Evie's older brother, but the pair have been verbal sparing partners since Harlow was eighteen and got her heart broken.
However both now find they are going to the same ski resort for the same time period and end up travelling their together thanks to Evie, but also Harlow ends up asking if Derek will be her fake boyfriend, Derek goes one further and says he will be her fake fiancé.
Close time together however only amps up the feelings between them and it takes very little time before the pair end up kissing and eventually ending up in bed with Harlow finally ditching her v-card.
Derek finally accepts what he has known with Harlow and does not fight his feelings, however after some fun together, Harlow freaks and hurts Derek, until her sister and her Gran point her in the right direction.
I cannot wait to read the next book in this series to see how Cameron gets his happy ever after. I am really enjoying this series and I certainly comes with the authors wit and zest.
Harlow is Evie's best friend and Derek is Evie's older brother, but the pair have been verbal sparing partners since Harlow was eighteen and got her heart broken.
However both now find they are going to the same ski resort for the same time period and end up travelling their together thanks to Evie, but also Harlow ends up asking if Derek will be her fake boyfriend, Derek goes one further and says he will be her fake fiancé.
Close time together however only amps up the feelings between them and it takes very little time before the pair end up kissing and eventually ending up in bed with Harlow finally ditching her v-card.
Derek finally accepts what he has known with Harlow and does not fight his feelings, however after some fun together, Harlow freaks and hurts Derek, until her sister and her Gran point her in the right direction.
I cannot wait to read the next book in this series to see how Cameron gets his happy ever after. I am really enjoying this series and I certainly comes with the authors wit and zest.
April 17, 2022
The whole V-card trope is worn and tired, but this crafty storyteller breathes new life into it with four young adult roommates who, for various reasons, decide it's time to gain a little more experience.
Harlow Raine is the strong, confident, take no prisoners personality among the group. But she needs a date for her family reunion to show her beloved grandmother that Harlow is happy and settled. The only problem is, the one guy who will excel at the job is the one guy she has a hate/hate relationship with, her best friend's older brother.
I adored the first romance in this series, and Harlow and Derrick's story once again provides a funny, heartfelt, light-hearted read. Full of laughs, light on angst, with just the right amount of heart-squeezing emotion, you'll want to be sure and add this hilarious, heart-warming feel-good read to your TBR ASAP.
Harlow Raine is the strong, confident, take no prisoners personality among the group. But she needs a date for her family reunion to show her beloved grandmother that Harlow is happy and settled. The only problem is, the one guy who will excel at the job is the one guy she has a hate/hate relationship with, her best friend's older brother.
I adored the first romance in this series, and Harlow and Derrick's story once again provides a funny, heartfelt, light-hearted read. Full of laughs, light on angst, with just the right amount of heart-squeezing emotion, you'll want to be sure and add this hilarious, heart-warming feel-good read to your TBR ASAP.
April 20, 2022
Note: An ARC was provided by the author.
Screwed is the second book in Lili Valente's V-Card Diaries, and this time around, we've got an enemies-to-lovers and falling-for-your-best-friend's-sibling romance. This is Harlow and Derrick's story, Harlow being Evie's (from Scored, the first book in the series) best friend and Derrick being Evie's older brother. While fake relationship romances are a hit or miss with me, Valente delivers a romantic comedy that definitely brings the swoon and the laughs. And goodness me, but how this was a sweet read! These two were introduced in the series starter, and they so did not disappoint! There's a pinch of angst, which made the resolution all the more sweeter. This easily gets 4.5 stars.
Screwed is the second book in Lili Valente's V-Card Diaries, and this time around, we've got an enemies-to-lovers and falling-for-your-best-friend's-sibling romance. This is Harlow and Derrick's story, Harlow being Evie's (from Scored, the first book in the series) best friend and Derrick being Evie's older brother. While fake relationship romances are a hit or miss with me, Valente delivers a romantic comedy that definitely brings the swoon and the laughs. And goodness me, but how this was a sweet read! These two were introduced in the series starter, and they so did not disappoint! There's a pinch of angst, which made the resolution all the more sweeter. This easily gets 4.5 stars.
April 23, 2022
Best friends brother
Harlow and Derek have known each other most of their lives. Harlow was in love with him for a long time, she tried to give him her v-card when she was18. He completely blew her off and hurt her feelings. Fast forward six years and they're always fighting, she calls him Satan and then she needs a favor from him to be her fake boyfriend so her grams would be happy.
I loved how they both really had buried feelings for each other and they come out even more while at the resort. Grams was so very astute and much more fun than you would expect. The family was a hoot and they really had strange traditions too. But Harlow and Derek are a trip together and they tend to over think thing's too.
Harlow and Derek have known each other most of their lives. Harlow was in love with him for a long time, she tried to give him her v-card when she was18. He completely blew her off and hurt her feelings. Fast forward six years and they're always fighting, she calls him Satan and then she needs a favor from him to be her fake boyfriend so her grams would be happy.
I loved how they both really had buried feelings for each other and they come out even more while at the resort. Grams was so very astute and much more fun than you would expect. The family was a hoot and they really had strange traditions too. But Harlow and Derek are a trip together and they tend to over think thing's too.
March 5, 2024
Steamy and sweet
This was a great dual POV read and definitely spicy. Slight age-gap, but she’s the more hesitant one but it feels more for ego and wanting things to happen in order. He was all in and it made him sexy for sure. And the fake dating for her family was cute, but I do think her extreme hesitation is why I need to go with 4. I felt like there was a small piece of something wasn’t true to her character, but I can’t quite describe my mixed up thoughts. Either way, it’s definitely worth the read! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
This was a great dual POV read and definitely spicy. Slight age-gap, but she’s the more hesitant one but it feels more for ego and wanting things to happen in order. He was all in and it made him sexy for sure. And the fake dating for her family was cute, but I do think her extreme hesitation is why I need to go with 4. I felt like there was a small piece of something wasn’t true to her character, but I can’t quite describe my mixed up thoughts. Either way, it’s definitely worth the read! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
May 5, 2022
Ahhh I loved this book! Harlow and Derrick were SO much fun. I love the best friend’s sibling trope and this was so well done. There was the perfect amount of comedy and angst. I can’t wait for the rest of the series.
June 14, 2022
4.5 STARS
February 10, 2024
Dnf. Sounds like a teenager wrote it
April 26, 2022
Lili Valente can be a talented writer. Which is why while she’s not on my “Must Read” short list of authors, she is an author whom I’ll occasionally spend money to read since she’s rarely on Kindle Unlimited. If she were I'd read more of her. Based upon the title and the synopsis its not like I didn’t know what to expect from this story. It’s not a horrible story. It’s just highly predictable and okay. I’m not sorry I spent the time and money to read it but I’m not sure I’ll read the remaining three books in the series either.
The humor in this story comes from Harlow our female lead who apparently has never heard the saying, “You want to hear God laugh, tell Him/Her your plans.” Harlowe is a 24-year-old brilliant grad. student, and self-described “oldest virgin in New York City. Which by itself is odd because the series is based upon 4 BFFs, all the same age living together, three of whom are all still virgins as this story begins, and how they all eventually cash their V-cards. I also found it odd that at 24 years old, Harlow still has almost 2 years left to complete her masters in forensic accounting. Her BFF and this story’s male lead Derrick’s little sister Evie lost her V-card in the first book which I haven’t read. I gleaned from this story that Derrick was a bit of an over protective older brother in that book who had difficulty accepting that is little sister was a grown woman until Harlow set him straight. One minor problem I have with this book is Evie seriously oversharing her sex life with Derrick almost as if she’s now taunting him with the fact that she’s sexually active with his BFF Ian, now her boyfriend. Hint to you lady readers and the author. There are three categories of women a man never wants to hear about their sex lives, their mothers, their sisters and their daughters. Oh, we’re aware they all have sex lives. We’d just prefer to remain blissfully ignorant about them and how they became mothers themselves. When you have a series about four attractive, reasonably normal 24-year-old young adults whom are all still virgins living in the same N.Y.C. apartment, I guess this really is a fantasy. Anyway, I digress. Harlow is tired of using her vibrator to get off and definitely wants to lose her V-card and discover what all the fuss is really about, but she has a very specific, unique set of parameters for the guy she gives it to. He has to be attractive to her but not so attractive that she’ll risk falling victim to First Dick Fever as she describes the fact that all the female members of her family end up falling in love with, marrying and changing their lives for the guy that pops their cherry. Harlowe has big plans for herself, starting with graduating at the top of her forensic accounting class with her masters degree and landing a really high paying job after graduation. She doesn’t have any intention of allowing falling in love to screw with her plans. Harlowe adores her elderly grandmother who is in declining health. She wants her grandmother to believe she’s found her forever love before she dies. Since her frenemy Derrick was planning on heading to the same Upstate lodge for a ski week where her family was gathering for their annual reunion, Harlowe gets the idea that Derrick can pretend to be her boyfriend for the week to ease her grandmother’s concerns. The problem is she’s always been attracted to Derrick. At 18 while attending a high school post graduation bonfire she offered him her virginity but he being 8 years her senior and her BFF’s older brother refused her. Then in the previous book a few months before this story begins she and Derrick shared a scorching kiss. So Harlowe is worried that being forced into close proximity to Derrick for a week sharing fake PDA and a room, she may not be able to resist her attraction to him. And if he’s her first peen as she calls it, there’s a real danger that she could fall in love with the handsome and charming man she affectionately calls Satan and risk having her carefully laid life plans disrupted. Which we all know is exactly what’s going to happen. After spending just 3 hours with him in the car ride Upstate she’s already finding the urge to get naked with him almost impossible to resist. So she’s screwed. Or will be.
Derrick for his part has had a thing for Harlowe for some time. Which is sort of creepy considering their age difference. But at least when she was 18, even though she was legal, he knew that at 26, he was too old to be the guy to cash her V-card. But now she’s 24 and he’s 32 so their age difference is no longer an issue. And as far as Derrick knows, the sexy confident Harlowe is not a virgin. Harlow has let everyone think she lost her virginity to her high school boyfriend but it never happened and now she’s too embarrassed to admit she lied about her virgin status. Unlike Harlowe who wants to lose her V-card to some guy she’ll never see again and then maybe find some guy for a no strings friends with benefits relationship until she’s ready to settle down, at 32, Derrick is ready to settle down now and he believes Harlow is the woman he wants to settle down with. In the three hour car ride from The City to Upstate Derrick learns that Harlowe is not interested in a real relationship any time soon, just a fuck buddy to have fun with. Yeah that Harlow is a true romantic. Beyond that he believes she still hates him for rejecting her back when she was eighteen and semi-drunk. Neither fact keeps him from being in a constant state of arousal when he’s around Harlowe. So the idea that he's going to spend the week around Harlowe playing fake boyfriend and sharing a room with her has him almost as screwed as Harlowe believes she is.
By the time they arrive at the ski lodge Derrick has already hatched a plan in his mind to win Harlow over to the idea of being his real girlfriend by literally charming the pants off of her and her family. Which he does. Within a few days Harlowe is practically begging him to be her first. In true sexy romantic fantasy fashion once she’s no longer a virgin she can’t get enough of Derrick’s magic peen. Apparently her vagina must be magic too because it doesn’t require any recovery time even after her first time. Problem is Derrick’s love for Harlow is like a snowball rolling downhill gaining mass and momentum while Harlow Isn’t yet sure whether their relationship will amount to more than a vacation fling of incredible sex. Observing the marital relationships of the other members of her family she gets spooked that getting married and believing in forever love is a fool’s errand that only leads to misery. As much as she’s come to recognize she is in love with Derrick she convinces herself they’re a bad match and rips his heart out. I do have to admit that how she is convinced by a family member that love is a real thing that is worth fighting for was both amusing and surprising.
Okay story. Plenty of sex as you’d expect. Some warm family feels and of course some drama and angst.
The humor in this story comes from Harlow our female lead who apparently has never heard the saying, “You want to hear God laugh, tell Him/Her your plans.” Harlowe is a 24-year-old brilliant grad. student, and self-described “oldest virgin in New York City. Which by itself is odd because the series is based upon 4 BFFs, all the same age living together, three of whom are all still virgins as this story begins, and how they all eventually cash their V-cards. I also found it odd that at 24 years old, Harlow still has almost 2 years left to complete her masters in forensic accounting. Her BFF and this story’s male lead Derrick’s little sister Evie lost her V-card in the first book which I haven’t read. I gleaned from this story that Derrick was a bit of an over protective older brother in that book who had difficulty accepting that is little sister was a grown woman until Harlow set him straight. One minor problem I have with this book is Evie seriously oversharing her sex life with Derrick almost as if she’s now taunting him with the fact that she’s sexually active with his BFF Ian, now her boyfriend. Hint to you lady readers and the author. There are three categories of women a man never wants to hear about their sex lives, their mothers, their sisters and their daughters. Oh, we’re aware they all have sex lives. We’d just prefer to remain blissfully ignorant about them and how they became mothers themselves. When you have a series about four attractive, reasonably normal 24-year-old young adults whom are all still virgins living in the same N.Y.C. apartment, I guess this really is a fantasy. Anyway, I digress. Harlow is tired of using her vibrator to get off and definitely wants to lose her V-card and discover what all the fuss is really about, but she has a very specific, unique set of parameters for the guy she gives it to. He has to be attractive to her but not so attractive that she’ll risk falling victim to First Dick Fever as she describes the fact that all the female members of her family end up falling in love with, marrying and changing their lives for the guy that pops their cherry. Harlowe has big plans for herself, starting with graduating at the top of her forensic accounting class with her masters degree and landing a really high paying job after graduation. She doesn’t have any intention of allowing falling in love to screw with her plans. Harlowe adores her elderly grandmother who is in declining health. She wants her grandmother to believe she’s found her forever love before she dies. Since her frenemy Derrick was planning on heading to the same Upstate lodge for a ski week where her family was gathering for their annual reunion, Harlowe gets the idea that Derrick can pretend to be her boyfriend for the week to ease her grandmother’s concerns. The problem is she’s always been attracted to Derrick. At 18 while attending a high school post graduation bonfire she offered him her virginity but he being 8 years her senior and her BFF’s older brother refused her. Then in the previous book a few months before this story begins she and Derrick shared a scorching kiss. So Harlowe is worried that being forced into close proximity to Derrick for a week sharing fake PDA and a room, she may not be able to resist her attraction to him. And if he’s her first peen as she calls it, there’s a real danger that she could fall in love with the handsome and charming man she affectionately calls Satan and risk having her carefully laid life plans disrupted. Which we all know is exactly what’s going to happen. After spending just 3 hours with him in the car ride Upstate she’s already finding the urge to get naked with him almost impossible to resist. So she’s screwed. Or will be.
Derrick for his part has had a thing for Harlowe for some time. Which is sort of creepy considering their age difference. But at least when she was 18, even though she was legal, he knew that at 26, he was too old to be the guy to cash her V-card. But now she’s 24 and he’s 32 so their age difference is no longer an issue. And as far as Derrick knows, the sexy confident Harlowe is not a virgin. Harlow has let everyone think she lost her virginity to her high school boyfriend but it never happened and now she’s too embarrassed to admit she lied about her virgin status. Unlike Harlowe who wants to lose her V-card to some guy she’ll never see again and then maybe find some guy for a no strings friends with benefits relationship until she’s ready to settle down, at 32, Derrick is ready to settle down now and he believes Harlow is the woman he wants to settle down with. In the three hour car ride from The City to Upstate Derrick learns that Harlowe is not interested in a real relationship any time soon, just a fuck buddy to have fun with. Yeah that Harlow is a true romantic. Beyond that he believes she still hates him for rejecting her back when she was eighteen and semi-drunk. Neither fact keeps him from being in a constant state of arousal when he’s around Harlowe. So the idea that he's going to spend the week around Harlowe playing fake boyfriend and sharing a room with her has him almost as screwed as Harlowe believes she is.
By the time they arrive at the ski lodge Derrick has already hatched a plan in his mind to win Harlow over to the idea of being his real girlfriend by literally charming the pants off of her and her family. Which he does. Within a few days Harlowe is practically begging him to be her first. In true sexy romantic fantasy fashion once she’s no longer a virgin she can’t get enough of Derrick’s magic peen. Apparently her vagina must be magic too because it doesn’t require any recovery time even after her first time. Problem is Derrick’s love for Harlow is like a snowball rolling downhill gaining mass and momentum while Harlow Isn’t yet sure whether their relationship will amount to more than a vacation fling of incredible sex. Observing the marital relationships of the other members of her family she gets spooked that getting married and believing in forever love is a fool’s errand that only leads to misery. As much as she’s come to recognize she is in love with Derrick she convinces herself they’re a bad match and rips his heart out. I do have to admit that how she is convinced by a family member that love is a real thing that is worth fighting for was both amusing and surprising.
Okay story. Plenty of sex as you’d expect. Some warm family feels and of course some drama and angst.
March 4, 2024
not good
This is not good. At all. The characters are written as if they're both in their early 20s, and I never want to read the word poose or peen again.
I wouldn't consider this a standalone; there are too many references to the first book in the series or the prequel novella that were made. I can't get over how not great this is.
This is not good. At all. The characters are written as if they're both in their early 20s, and I never want to read the word poose or peen again.
I wouldn't consider this a standalone; there are too many references to the first book in the series or the prequel novella that were made. I can't get over how not great this is.
January 30, 2024
This is just a fun book to read, about the crazy antics and love missteps, of Harlow Raine. It opens with some diary entries of bad dates that just didn't measure up to her needs. There was always something, just not right. But, gurl some are real deal-breakers so, there is no judging here. However, as you read the story and think back about all these guys, it's because none of them measured up to the man she had fallen for long ago.
But, she is a roommate with, the one who shall remain nameless, his little sister, Evie, their male roommate: (no not gay just a virgin but owns it, not lying like she is) Cameron, and Jess. She was eighteen and the mystery man was twenty-six. Back home that’s normal there. So it was a huge mix of ages at the party because back then, some people took advantage of any party. After all, the town was that small. Anyway, she threw herself at him saying she wanted him to take her cherry. And he turned her away. Even in her drunk state, she was ashamed and, embarrassed.
Then, a year ago at twenty-one, he kissed her like nobody’s business. Pissing her off more than at the bonfire at eighteen. So, the sneers, snide remarks, and cold shoulders for, Derrick Olsen are cover-up for the one man. The man who no matter what, she can’t seem to shore up her protective walls, against the embarrassment of being so naive, the pain of rejection, and the hurt of not measuring up to all the past women. Of course, she had no clue who he must have been with that she could have, compared herself to, but compared she did, and knew she could never compete with them.
Derrick comes over to get the ski rack from Evie and while the three of them talk he mentions, Shufflebottoms’. So, when she does she lowers her head, and a crease forms between her eyes. He asks why, and she tells him, it is her gram’s favorite place. Evie tells Derrik he should drive her up because she hates the train station. The look of panic greets both sets of eyes when they first look at each other.
But, then the moment switches quickly, and the moment of calm comes over them and they both say, okay. Then, she asks what time should she be ready. Then she said she needed to pack. That's when her inner debate started. All over the idea she had been kicking around for a bit. But, Derrick would be perfect. Because he already knew a little bit. Now, she just needed to build up the courage. With her gran’s health failing, they take the winter break at, Shufflebottoms. Normally they take her during, June but the doctors say her body is shutting down.
Before getting in the car she hits him with the fake girlfriend story for gran. Talk about all kinds of awkwardness for them both. Him because he has been crushing on her since he turned him down. But, the beautiful drunk, Harlow deserved more for her first time. Like remembering it, pass the hangover. Plus, their age gap back then mattered whereas now not so much, because in truth it is only eight months. Such a good book. She had me worried there at the end laughing too especially when she walked in on her sister and her husband.
But, she is a roommate with, the one who shall remain nameless, his little sister, Evie, their male roommate: (no not gay just a virgin but owns it, not lying like she is) Cameron, and Jess. She was eighteen and the mystery man was twenty-six. Back home that’s normal there. So it was a huge mix of ages at the party because back then, some people took advantage of any party. After all, the town was that small. Anyway, she threw herself at him saying she wanted him to take her cherry. And he turned her away. Even in her drunk state, she was ashamed and, embarrassed.
Then, a year ago at twenty-one, he kissed her like nobody’s business. Pissing her off more than at the bonfire at eighteen. So, the sneers, snide remarks, and cold shoulders for, Derrick Olsen are cover-up for the one man. The man who no matter what, she can’t seem to shore up her protective walls, against the embarrassment of being so naive, the pain of rejection, and the hurt of not measuring up to all the past women. Of course, she had no clue who he must have been with that she could have, compared herself to, but compared she did, and knew she could never compete with them.
Derrick comes over to get the ski rack from Evie and while the three of them talk he mentions, Shufflebottoms’. So, when she does she lowers her head, and a crease forms between her eyes. He asks why, and she tells him, it is her gram’s favorite place. Evie tells Derrik he should drive her up because she hates the train station. The look of panic greets both sets of eyes when they first look at each other.
But, then the moment switches quickly, and the moment of calm comes over them and they both say, okay. Then, she asks what time should she be ready. Then she said she needed to pack. That's when her inner debate started. All over the idea she had been kicking around for a bit. But, Derrick would be perfect. Because he already knew a little bit. Now, she just needed to build up the courage. With her gran’s health failing, they take the winter break at, Shufflebottoms. Normally they take her during, June but the doctors say her body is shutting down.
Before getting in the car she hits him with the fake girlfriend story for gran. Talk about all kinds of awkwardness for them both. Him because he has been crushing on her since he turned him down. But, the beautiful drunk, Harlow deserved more for her first time. Like remembering it, pass the hangover. Plus, their age gap back then mattered whereas now not so much, because in truth it is only eight months. Such a good book. She had me worried there at the end laughing too especially when she walked in on her sister and her husband.
April 23, 2022
“I meant what I said, Bossy, and I’m not taking it back. It’s going to be the real deal with us, just wait and see. Now go get that washcloth and gag me before I gag you first and make you ride my face like your favorite roller coaster.”
🏂
Review: Screwed by Lili Valente. A V-Card Diaries series, book 2.
❄️
I’ve been excited to read Harlow and Derrick story since the end of the first book is the series. It’s now here and It was worth the wait. I had a lot of fun with them and their fake fiancé relationship, with a mix of a (slightly) enemies-to-lovers and best friend’s older brother. It was kind of nice seeing karma hit Derrick in the head, I mean, in the first book he was dealing with his best friend going after his sister and now, he can’t take his eyes off Harlow, his sister longtime BFF.
They both had some “altercation” in the past and now they kind of hate each other, big focus on kind of. It’s more like a repressed love, if you asked me. But when they both find out they going to the same ski resort, things are all balls to the walls! He is going there for a job interview and she’s going to family meeting, one which can be the last one her beloved grandma go. Trying to show her Gram she is doing alright, Harlow proposes that Derrick become her fake boyfriend and then he up the game by being her fake fiancé.
I loved their growing chemistry and especially friendship. How he tried to win her family and not only for the “game”, or how he protected her anytime! She was also super supportive of him and his choice career, she really believed in him. And don’t even start with both of them interacting with Harlow’s sassy grandma.
I laughed a lot with Harlow honestly. She was so driven and wanted more for her future, and yet so afraid to fall on the family curse, where all the women falls for their first man, as they called a First Dick Fever (FDF). So towards the end things turns a little messy, but Derrick is not afraid to say all his feelings and he remains that delicious consistency till the end. I love him! Another great book for this V-Card series. Bring it on on the others.
🏂
Review: Screwed by Lili Valente. A V-Card Diaries series, book 2.
❄️
I’ve been excited to read Harlow and Derrick story since the end of the first book is the series. It’s now here and It was worth the wait. I had a lot of fun with them and their fake fiancé relationship, with a mix of a (slightly) enemies-to-lovers and best friend’s older brother. It was kind of nice seeing karma hit Derrick in the head, I mean, in the first book he was dealing with his best friend going after his sister and now, he can’t take his eyes off Harlow, his sister longtime BFF.
They both had some “altercation” in the past and now they kind of hate each other, big focus on kind of. It’s more like a repressed love, if you asked me. But when they both find out they going to the same ski resort, things are all balls to the walls! He is going there for a job interview and she’s going to family meeting, one which can be the last one her beloved grandma go. Trying to show her Gram she is doing alright, Harlow proposes that Derrick become her fake boyfriend and then he up the game by being her fake fiancé.
I loved their growing chemistry and especially friendship. How he tried to win her family and not only for the “game”, or how he protected her anytime! She was also super supportive of him and his choice career, she really believed in him. And don’t even start with both of them interacting with Harlow’s sassy grandma.
I laughed a lot with Harlow honestly. She was so driven and wanted more for her future, and yet so afraid to fall on the family curse, where all the women falls for their first man, as they called a First Dick Fever (FDF). So towards the end things turns a little messy, but Derrick is not afraid to say all his feelings and he remains that delicious consistency till the end. I love him! Another great book for this V-Card series. Bring it on on the others.
April 11, 2022
“Friendships and family love are great, but there’s nothing quite like finding your person.”
After the last book, I couldn’t wait for Derrick and Harlow’s story in Screwed and it was absolutely delightful. Full of laughs, heat and heart, this romantic comedy is a fun and flirty addition to the V Card Diaries Series.
“We’re two sides of the same coin, Olsen. Different on the surface but made of the same stuff.”
Harlow was riot. You never knew what thoughts were rattling around in her head and would come out of her mouth. She’s feisty and independent and terrified of love and rejection.
“Harlow is my kryptonite. Always has been and probably always will be….”
Derrick was such a sweetheart. He could not stop thinking about Harlow after their kiss and he was steadfast in his resolve to prove to her that they needed to bury the past and start anew. His fierce determination to love her was so heartfelt.
“Harlow is my person and I’m hers. We’ve both fought it for years, but deep down I think we’ve suspected that we’re perfect for each other for a long time.”
I loved watching these two work out their issues and deal with Harlow’s wacky family. The passion and love between them was strengthened by their shared past and friendship. Both had painful pasts but were able to grow from them both individual and together.
I both read and listened to this book and Jason Clarke and Lili Valente are once again amazing in their narration. Jason’s voice was perfection as Derrick and I always love Lili’s narration. She’s so good at bringing her characters to life.
Derrick and Harlow’s story is a fun and entertaining journey that will keep you on your toes. If you like spunky, caring characters, a little bit of angst, and a whole lot of steam, you will love this adorable romantic comedy.
After the last book, I couldn’t wait for Derrick and Harlow’s story in Screwed and it was absolutely delightful. Full of laughs, heat and heart, this romantic comedy is a fun and flirty addition to the V Card Diaries Series.
“We’re two sides of the same coin, Olsen. Different on the surface but made of the same stuff.”
Harlow was riot. You never knew what thoughts were rattling around in her head and would come out of her mouth. She’s feisty and independent and terrified of love and rejection.
“Harlow is my kryptonite. Always has been and probably always will be….”
Derrick was such a sweetheart. He could not stop thinking about Harlow after their kiss and he was steadfast in his resolve to prove to her that they needed to bury the past and start anew. His fierce determination to love her was so heartfelt.
“Harlow is my person and I’m hers. We’ve both fought it for years, but deep down I think we’ve suspected that we’re perfect for each other for a long time.”
I loved watching these two work out their issues and deal with Harlow’s wacky family. The passion and love between them was strengthened by their shared past and friendship. Both had painful pasts but were able to grow from them both individual and together.
I both read and listened to this book and Jason Clarke and Lili Valente are once again amazing in their narration. Jason’s voice was perfection as Derrick and I always love Lili’s narration. She’s so good at bringing her characters to life.
Derrick and Harlow’s story is a fun and entertaining journey that will keep you on your toes. If you like spunky, caring characters, a little bit of angst, and a whole lot of steam, you will love this adorable romantic comedy.
April 10, 2022
I adored this book from start to finish! This series is quickly becoming one of the sweetest, then switches to spicy!, romcom series of the year. If you read Scored, you remember that there was some mystery event that was a catalyst between Evie’s (book 1’s heroine) best friend Harlow and older brother Derrick. The flashback to that scene was everything I was hoping for in way of explaining how these two’s current feelings came to be.
Harlow is getting a second degree in accounting and very analytical. She says doesn’t want to be in love with the first guy she sleeps with so she doesn’t end up losing her career like those in her family have before her. Derrick is older and has had feelings for Harlow for some time even with the recent kiss that was him losing control of his pushing those feelings away. When these two end up at the same ski resort for a week, Harlow needs help— a fake fiancé to help ease the mind of her ailing grandmother. Derrick sees his opportunity and runs with it, but Harlow has a secret— she’s still a virgin despite the assumptions her friends have made that she’s not.
I loved the role reversal of Derrick being lead by feelings, while Harlow feels lead by her brain. I’m also a sucker for a guy who falls first, which is funny because Harlow has liked him for longer but Derrick embraces this situation faster. It’s a really special read. I love these two together and their ending was so perfect and swoon worthy that it might be the most satisfying ending of a book I’ve ever read.
The preview for the next book has me anxiously awaiting its release! This series is a top read for 2022.
I received an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Harlow is getting a second degree in accounting and very analytical. She says doesn’t want to be in love with the first guy she sleeps with so she doesn’t end up losing her career like those in her family have before her. Derrick is older and has had feelings for Harlow for some time even with the recent kiss that was him losing control of his pushing those feelings away. When these two end up at the same ski resort for a week, Harlow needs help— a fake fiancé to help ease the mind of her ailing grandmother. Derrick sees his opportunity and runs with it, but Harlow has a secret— she’s still a virgin despite the assumptions her friends have made that she’s not.
I loved the role reversal of Derrick being lead by feelings, while Harlow feels lead by her brain. I’m also a sucker for a guy who falls first, which is funny because Harlow has liked him for longer but Derrick embraces this situation faster. It’s a really special read. I love these two together and their ending was so perfect and swoon worthy that it might be the most satisfying ending of a book I’ve ever read.
The preview for the next book has me anxiously awaiting its release! This series is a top read for 2022.
I received an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
March 25, 2022
Harlow and Derrick cannot stand each other. We see a bit of this in book 1, but we don’t really know why they have this hate towards each other, well more on Harlow’s side than Derrick’s. She’s made it almost her life’s mission to be evil to him at every interaction. Yet, she can’t stop fantasizing about him. I think that makes her even madder. Then one day when he visits the apartment and he slips on ice outside and comes in with a huge cut on his head. One of my favorite lines in the book is from this scene. “Maybe you should wait to thank me until you see how much glue I used.” The rest of that passage made me giggle. This kinda leads them to have a little momentary truce when they agree to travel together. This book has everything I love about enemies to lover’s story. It’s got fake dating and misunderstandings and when they get together, oh MAN it’s HOT! I loved this so much I listened twice! I fell in love with Harlow and Derrick and anyone else that reads this book or listens to the audio will too!
Lili Valente and Jason Clarke were perfect in this book! I could not get enough of them together. Lili brought to life Harlow’s sarcastic humor and Jason brought Derrick’s growly protector vibes.
I loved the added novella, 10,000 things I Hate About You, narrated solo by Lili. This gives you the backstory of how Harlow & Derrick’s hatefest began and you learn why that hate is so strong.
Lili Valente and Jason Clarke were perfect in this book! I could not get enough of them together. Lili brought to life Harlow’s sarcastic humor and Jason brought Derrick’s growly protector vibes.
I loved the added novella, 10,000 things I Hate About You, narrated solo by Lili. This gives you the backstory of how Harlow & Derrick’s hatefest began and you learn why that hate is so strong.
March 27, 2022
This is a little sister’s best friend virgin swoon worthy tale. It’s about trusting your heart and your instincts instead of relying only on fear and logic. Harlow is working on her master’s in accounting and living with her three best friends. She is rabidly opposed and afraid of falling for the wrong man whose love will destroy her dreams. Derrick works for the local professional hockey team and is the older brother of Harlow’s best friend. There was a cringe worthy interaction 6 years ago when Harlow asked Derrick to be her first and he told her no. Since then, they’ve been frenemies but when Harlow asks Derrick to be her fake fiancée to make her grandmother happy during a family reunion, their very real and sizzling chemistry makes the lines between fake and real get very blurry and things get complicated fast. The book has a little bit of everything - sweet moments, steamy scenes, strong friendships, supportive family, laughs, painful pasts, and all the heart squeezing love. Experiencing the journey of Derrick and Harlow as they fall in love and work through their individual issues gave me all the feels - you will laugh, cry, swoon, grind your teeth, cheer, and happy sigh. This story includes three dimensional characters who grow, witty dialogue, and an engaging storyline with light angst. I am excited to read what happens for the other two virgin roommates. I willingly reviewed an early copy of this book.
April 20, 2022
4.25 Bossy & Satan Stars!!
As soon as i reached the end of Scored i couldn't wait for more! I started looking forward to this second installment right away. I was so glad to jump back into the V-Card Diaries world! I started reading it as soon as i could and got into it quickly. I so enjoyed this story!
As soon as i found out that Harlow and Derrick were getting their very own book i was so happy!
Harlow and Derrick's journey grabbed my attention from the get go! As these two tackle being fake engaged and their feelings, i was glued to their story. I really liked how these two got under each other's skin in the best of ways and their banter was everything! I couldn't wait to see how everything would play out for them.
There were so many moments throughout where i found myself smiling at these two. From the sweet moments to the heat filled ones and everything in between, i adored them together. Their chemistry was fantastic! I so enjoyed digging deeper with them. Both Derrick and Harlow had me feeling so much from beginning to end!
It was so awesome being back in this world with all of these characters again!
With Screwed, Ms.Valente has created such a great and entertaining read i didn't want to put down! This book is just what i needed this week. I am so looking forward to diving back into the V-Card Diaries world with Cameron's story, Seduced!
*I volunteered to read and review a copy of this book from the author*
As soon as i reached the end of Scored i couldn't wait for more! I started looking forward to this second installment right away. I was so glad to jump back into the V-Card Diaries world! I started reading it as soon as i could and got into it quickly. I so enjoyed this story!
As soon as i found out that Harlow and Derrick were getting their very own book i was so happy!
Harlow and Derrick's journey grabbed my attention from the get go! As these two tackle being fake engaged and their feelings, i was glued to their story. I really liked how these two got under each other's skin in the best of ways and their banter was everything! I couldn't wait to see how everything would play out for them.
There were so many moments throughout where i found myself smiling at these two. From the sweet moments to the heat filled ones and everything in between, i adored them together. Their chemistry was fantastic! I so enjoyed digging deeper with them. Both Derrick and Harlow had me feeling so much from beginning to end!
It was so awesome being back in this world with all of these characters again!
With Screwed, Ms.Valente has created such a great and entertaining read i didn't want to put down! This book is just what i needed this week. I am so looking forward to diving back into the V-Card Diaries world with Cameron's story, Seduced!
*I volunteered to read and review a copy of this book from the author*
April 13, 2022
*** AUDIOBOOK REVIEW ***
Who doesn’t love an enemies to lovers, fake fiancé, feel good, funny romance. I was so excited to listen to Harlow and Derrick’s story. When they were first introduced in Scored, their intense verbal sparing and undeniable attraction had my interest piqued. Now we get to see how Harlow and Derrick fall for each other while pretending to be engaged and feelings get denied. Their chemistry was passionate and steamy. They tried to keep their feelings bottled up but eventually realized they were each other’s end game. Derrick went from being a bossy, overprotective older brother to sexy, sweet, bossy in the bedroom dreamy hero. I definitely fell for him.
This book was narrated by Lili Valente & Jason Clarke. They did a wonderful job bringing these two characters to life and I enjoyed their chemistry. Jason did a great job portraying Derrick and Cameron. The text exchange between Harlow & Cameron were hilarious and I loved how it was duet style narration. Lili as Harlow was perfect. She captured Harlow’s fear of falling in love with her first, but also how she was sassy and snarky and funny around Derrick and her Grams. Overall, this was an entertaining, cute, funny, steamy romcom. I’m excited to see what happens next with Cameron or Jess in this series!
Who doesn’t love an enemies to lovers, fake fiancé, feel good, funny romance. I was so excited to listen to Harlow and Derrick’s story. When they were first introduced in Scored, their intense verbal sparing and undeniable attraction had my interest piqued. Now we get to see how Harlow and Derrick fall for each other while pretending to be engaged and feelings get denied. Their chemistry was passionate and steamy. They tried to keep their feelings bottled up but eventually realized they were each other’s end game. Derrick went from being a bossy, overprotective older brother to sexy, sweet, bossy in the bedroom dreamy hero. I definitely fell for him.
This book was narrated by Lili Valente & Jason Clarke. They did a wonderful job bringing these two characters to life and I enjoyed their chemistry. Jason did a great job portraying Derrick and Cameron. The text exchange between Harlow & Cameron were hilarious and I loved how it was duet style narration. Lili as Harlow was perfect. She captured Harlow’s fear of falling in love with her first, but also how she was sassy and snarky and funny around Derrick and her Grams. Overall, this was an entertaining, cute, funny, steamy romcom. I’m excited to see what happens next with Cameron or Jess in this series!
April 28, 2022
Screwed is the 2nd installation of the V-Card Diaries series. Harlow and Derrick have had this loathing relationship since Harlow was rejected by him back when she was in High School and he was 26 years old. Back then, Derrick was protecting Harlow, but the rejection ruined her. Now all Harlow wants to do is find a man to punch her V-Card. Someone kind enough with no strings attached. Derrick has always had a thing for Harlow, but as the older brother of her best friend, it was always a no-no. Also, the fact that Harlow calls him Satan and basically sneers at him every time they meet, there is no way he could act on his feelings. That is until the right opportunity presents itself. When Harlow asks Derrick to pretend to be her fake boyfriend, Derrick plots to finally win Harlow's heart. Derrick and Harlow's banter is hot, fun, and sexy. They make such a great couple but Harlow's insecurities hold her back from experiencing all that wonderfulness. When Derrick finds the courage to finally lay it all on the line, will Harlow reciprocate the same feeling? Can they pull it off and make Harlow's family believe that they are together? Along the way, will the pretend become reality?
What a great story! A must-read from the extraordinary Lili Valente.
What a great story! A must-read from the extraordinary Lili Valente.
April 7, 2026
**Got it FREE on Kindle 1/25/2024**
Sexy, funny, and sweet
I enjoyed reading this book. I loved the banter between Harlow and Derrick. They do like to snark at each other a lot at first but there's no real malice behind them because they were both secretly into each other. Most of their back-and-forth were actually just pretty funny.
The way Derrick was head-over-heels and all-in for Harlow was so adorable and nice to read.
I usually stay away from rom-com-y books but I'm glad I gave this a chance. Totally recommend!
Sexy, funny, and sweet
I enjoyed reading this book. I loved the banter between Harlow and Derrick. They do like to snark at each other a lot at first but there's no real malice behind them because they were both secretly into each other. Most of their back-and-forth were actually just pretty funny.
“I like the Ice Possums. It’s weird, but cute. And at least there are possums in New York. I hate it when cities name a team after an animal from another continent or something.”
“It offends your accountant sense of order?”
“If we don’t fight to keep order, chaos will swallow us whole, Derrick.”
The way Derrick was head-over-heels and all-in for Harlow was so adorable and nice to read.
I usually stay away from rom-com-y books but I'm glad I gave this a chance. Totally recommend!
April 9, 2022
“Screwed” is a fun, flirty and steamy best friends brother rom com that had me laughing out loud one moment and swooning the next.
Harlow and Derek have been frenemies for a long time. Harlow is Evie’s best friend and Derek has always seen her as another little sister. When he gives her a ride upstate for her family vacation, Harlow asks him to be her fake boyfriend. He ups the ante and agrees to be her fake fiancé. But the two have had feelings for each other and those feelings come to light during the week together.
I loved Harlow and Derek together. They are both smart, witty, and genuine. Both are close to certain family members, Derek with his sister and Harlow with her grandma. Those relationships are a big part of who they are and bring them together. Derek is a great guy and you can’t help falling for him. Harlow is a great friend and someone you want in your corner.
Lili Valente and Jason Clarke did an AMAZING job narrating them. Lili narrating her own work brings something special to the audiobook. She knows these characters and it shows in her performance. And I love Jason anytime I get to listen to him. His gruffy voice is always so nice to listen to.
Harlow and Derek have been frenemies for a long time. Harlow is Evie’s best friend and Derek has always seen her as another little sister. When he gives her a ride upstate for her family vacation, Harlow asks him to be her fake boyfriend. He ups the ante and agrees to be her fake fiancé. But the two have had feelings for each other and those feelings come to light during the week together.
I loved Harlow and Derek together. They are both smart, witty, and genuine. Both are close to certain family members, Derek with his sister and Harlow with her grandma. Those relationships are a big part of who they are and bring them together. Derek is a great guy and you can’t help falling for him. Harlow is a great friend and someone you want in your corner.
Lili Valente and Jason Clarke did an AMAZING job narrating them. Lili narrating her own work brings something special to the audiobook. She knows these characters and it shows in her performance. And I love Jason anytime I get to listen to him. His gruffy voice is always so nice to listen to.
January 30, 2024
3.5 🌟
Fun, best-friend's brother, age-gap, fake-dating, virgin romance.
Very easy, low-angst read. Harlow is 24. She's been crushing on her best friend's older brother Derrick since she was a teen. There is an 8 year age gap. When she was 18 and drunk, she propositioned him and was soundly (and very responsibly) rejected. This led to her outward hatred of him for the following 6 years; inwardly, though, she's still got a candle burning for him.
When Harlow and Derrick end up staying at the same ski resort, she asks him to pose as her boyfriend to help convince her beloved, but ailing grandmother that all Harlow's childhood romantic dreams are being fulfilled. Fortunately for her, Derrick has also been secretly attracted to the feisty and bossy Harlow for years but had wisely convinced himself to wait until she grew up before making his move.
This was a case of the hero being all-in right away and the heroine needing to work through her issues first. Their frenemies to lovers situation had fun banter, but I thought Harlow's character was a bit juvenile.
This book contains descriptive love scenes.
Fun, best-friend's brother, age-gap, fake-dating, virgin romance.
Very easy, low-angst read. Harlow is 24. She's been crushing on her best friend's older brother Derrick since she was a teen. There is an 8 year age gap. When she was 18 and drunk, she propositioned him and was soundly (and very responsibly) rejected. This led to her outward hatred of him for the following 6 years; inwardly, though, she's still got a candle burning for him.
When Harlow and Derrick end up staying at the same ski resort, she asks him to pose as her boyfriend to help convince her beloved, but ailing grandmother that all Harlow's childhood romantic dreams are being fulfilled. Fortunately for her, Derrick has also been secretly attracted to the feisty and bossy Harlow for years but had wisely convinced himself to wait until she grew up before making his move.
This was a case of the hero being all-in right away and the heroine needing to work through her issues first. Their frenemies to lovers situation had fun banter, but I thought Harlow's character was a bit juvenile.
This book contains descriptive love scenes.
April 12, 2022
Screwed is little sister's best friend, enemies-to-lovers PERFECTION! Banter, steam, and swoon abound in Derrick and Harlow's story!
I have to say, I absolutely love that Derrick falls so quickly and is all in! He's so sweet and thoughtful, and not afraid of how he feels for Harlow. He knows that it'll take time to win her over because he understands how her brain works. Harlow is a planner. She thinks things through, but she tends to overthink.
Harlow wants to make her gram happy so she asks Derrick to help her. They end up spending a week together at a ski resort while pretending to be engaged. I smiled during all of their interactions with gram. As Harlow and Derrick get to know each other, they find that they have more in common than they thought.
This book is perfect! I love Lili Valente's writing style! The inner thoughts and conversations with secondary characters help bring everything together. I can't wait for Cameron's book next!
I received an ARC for an honest review.
I have to say, I absolutely love that Derrick falls so quickly and is all in! He's so sweet and thoughtful, and not afraid of how he feels for Harlow. He knows that it'll take time to win her over because he understands how her brain works. Harlow is a planner. She thinks things through, but she tends to overthink.
Harlow wants to make her gram happy so she asks Derrick to help her. They end up spending a week together at a ski resort while pretending to be engaged. I smiled during all of their interactions with gram. As Harlow and Derrick get to know each other, they find that they have more in common than they thought.
This book is perfect! I love Lili Valente's writing style! The inner thoughts and conversations with secondary characters help bring everything together. I can't wait for Cameron's book next!
I received an ARC for an honest review.
April 19, 2022
I was thrilled to read Harlow and Derrick’s story after meeting them in Scored, her bff/his little sister’s story. In fact, Harlow at times stole the spotlight in that book from Evie. Who can resist bickering characters, because often underneath the rancor is much more personal feelings.
And we get all those conflicting feelings when Derrick and Harlow are headed to the same resort for a bit of skiing on his part and a family reunion on hers. But it becomes a fake relationship to convince Harlow’s beloved grandmother that she doesn’t need to worry about Harlow.
Lili Valente combined a bunch of tropes…not only virgin heroine but bff’s brother/sibling’s best friend, enemies to lovers and fake engagement…and crafted a funny, sexy read. Derrick is gruff and overprotective on the surface, but even I was surprised by the sensitive and mushy center in him. Harlow is bold but also has hidden depths that all come out when she’s with childhood nemesis Derrick. They were a great couple and their story was one that will stay with me long after I’ve moved on to other reads.
And we get all those conflicting feelings when Derrick and Harlow are headed to the same resort for a bit of skiing on his part and a family reunion on hers. But it becomes a fake relationship to convince Harlow’s beloved grandmother that she doesn’t need to worry about Harlow.
Lili Valente combined a bunch of tropes…not only virgin heroine but bff’s brother/sibling’s best friend, enemies to lovers and fake engagement…and crafted a funny, sexy read. Derrick is gruff and overprotective on the surface, but even I was surprised by the sensitive and mushy center in him. Harlow is bold but also has hidden depths that all come out when she’s with childhood nemesis Derrick. They were a great couple and their story was one that will stay with me long after I’ve moved on to other reads.
May 4, 2023
These two kind of go hand in hand. 10,000 Things I Hate About You is a short novella detailing how Evie’s big brother, Derrick, gets the nickname Satan from Evie’s best friend Harlow and how it fits in six years later with Screwed. Derrick saves Harlow from some rowdy guys at the bar that results in a steamy kiss neither of them want to talk about, but then Harlow needs a fake boyfriend which becomes a fake fiancé and suddenly it’s not feeling so fake and their both screwed.
Reasons I Recommend:
1) Love the nicknames and the meaning behind them: Satan, Bossy, Hepburn, etc
2) The relationship Harlow has with Cameron and how despite her and Evie being besties, how good of a friend she has with Cameron and
3) The names of these hockey teams are just hilarious 🤣🤣
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
#briereads #brierecommends #2023goodreadsreadingchallenge #reviewedongoodreads #reviewedoninstagram #bookworm #lovetoread #idratherbereading #romance #romanticcomedy #vcarddiariesseries #10000thingsihateaboutyou #screwed #lilivalente @lilivalenteromance
Reasons I Recommend:
1) Love the nicknames and the meaning behind them: Satan, Bossy, Hepburn, etc
2) The relationship Harlow has with Cameron and how despite her and Evie being besties, how good of a friend she has with Cameron and
3) The names of these hockey teams are just hilarious 🤣🤣
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
#briereads #brierecommends #2023goodreadsreadingchallenge #reviewedongoodreads #reviewedoninstagram #bookworm #lovetoread #idratherbereading #romance #romanticcomedy #vcarddiariesseries #10000thingsihateaboutyou #screwed #lilivalente @lilivalenteromance
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