This book does not deliver what it promises. Or at least what I thought it promised.
I thought this was an alternate Sitayana or at the very least, Sita’s side of the story – her anger about the injustices, her rage about the misogyny and misbehavior. Instead it’s the same old story that Sita narrates and often it’s worse because she mistakes all the toxic acts of Ram for love, which is not all that different from what some people in society do. At least they are not touting it as feministic and contemporary.
First of all, Ram and Sita’s is a child marriage. It is a mythology set thousands of years back, which probably justifies it because child marriage was prevalent then. The whole concept of child marriage existed so that the in-laws have control over the bride and her life with her husband and his family, slowly indoctrinating the groom (and the bride) to continue their mission with the next generation and onwards.
I didn’t pick this book to read the same old garbage churned out to me with a new cover and “lyrical voices”. I kept waiting for the rebellion, the revolution or at least strong condemnation but that never came. I was utterly disappointed as I was reading it and deceived when I was done.
What was all that nonsense about love? Every time Sita had an opinion she had to whisper, do her acts behind the scene or wait for Ram’s permission. If he accepted her opinions it was love, if he didn’t she kept telling herself that that’s also love and that love sometimes means sacrifice. How come the sacrifice was always expected only from her and why didn’t she realize that?
Sita wants to bring her own helper after her wedding, but Ram’s father says no and she accepts because she thinks his reasoning that Kaikeyi got her own helper and that didn’t turn out well, so no girl will bring her own helper and that’s final, no discussion, is justified. No questions asked because that’s what love is.
Sita points out what Bharat brings up, after Dashrath dies. That Ram is no longer obligated to fulfil his promise to Kaikeyi. But Ram says no, so no questions asked because that’s what love is.
Sita convinces Ram to take her with him but somehow, even though she really wants Urmila to accompany them, she cannot do that because she needs the men’s permission. Otherwise, of course, who will protect her! Didn’t she learn martial arts? Couldn’t she protect Urmila and still take her along? No because that’s what love is.
Sita wants to have a child but Ram thinks it’s not the right time. Sita is frustrated but Ram says no, so no questions asked because that’s what love is.
The author claims that Sita has learned martial arts, but how come she never once uses it to help herself? Why does she have to wait for Ram to come rescue her, when Hanuman is clearly offering to free her? Why does she have to be the person that has not even seen Ravan’s face, only his feet, even though she was in his captivity for one whole year? Are women considered “good” and “chaste” only if they keep their eyes lowered all the time while idiots like Ram and Lakshman take turns to mock and mutilate Surpanaka just because she made passes at Ram?
Sita enables Ram’s nonsense of suspecting her, questioning her integrity and humiliating her in front of the kingdom, all under the guise of duty, righteousness and kingship. Worst of all, she thinks that’s what love is. Ram questions Sita if she slept with Ravan, doesn’t care what she says and asks her to prove her innocence. Sita feels humiliated but somehow proves her chastity. She is angry with Ram for putting her through hell, betrayed that he would demand such a thing. But he says that her virtue had to be above suspicion and that’s important for him. She miraculously understands and forgives everything. No questions asked because that’s not just what love is. That’s what True Love is!
She talks of Mandodari and her choice to wait by Ravan’s pyre for the rest of her life (which by the way is ridiculous - how long do pyres take to burn? 4, 5 hours tops?): “Could I have done it? I wasn’t sure if I was capable of such devotion. Of such total forgiveness for a man who’d betrayed my love, and who, in refusing my counsel over and over, had opened the gate for death to enter my home and snatch away my son?”
Stupid, stupid Sita, that’s exactly what you did too! Ram betrayed your love over and over. He not only refused your counsel, he didn’t even respect you as a living thing to seek your counsel, he made you go through hell and took away your sons. Don’t you see it?
She senses god saying to her “Ram has come to teach the men, but you have come to teach the women. The lesson you teach will be a quieter one, but as important.” – Why does it have to be a quieter one? Isn’t that what women have always been asked to do? To be quiet? Someone tell me how this is right and how can the author, in all good conscience, write this?
When a washerwoman’s husband suspects her of adultery, wanting to keep an eye on her, Sita calls that “twisted love”. Lady, wake the hell up. When a man wants to know where his wife is all the time and doesn’t trust her, that’s not twisted love, that’s not love of any kind.
She keeps calling Lav and Kush, Ram’s sons , even after he banished her to the forest and caused her insurmountable pain. Even in the end, to make her point, it would have been meaningful if she refused Ram her kids and lived a great life. Instead she hands over the boys, whom she painstakingly raised, to Ram and goes under ground.
Chitra Lekha Banerjee Divakaruni is right about one thing she mentions in her Author’s Note: “The truth was, I didn’t know how to write Sita’s story”.
She is right. She still doesn’t.