Bitter Rain

by Kahaula

Bitterness and Rage. These are the two emotions that rule my life. After I was hit by a drunk and high driver my life was never the same. The collision left my body broken like a rag doll. I lost my job, my savings, my whole life. My grandfather left me his patchwork home and I’ve been scrambling ever since to keep up with the mortgage any way I can. I rent out sections and play nice with the temporary tenants and tourists that breeze through my ancestral home. This latest group has been the hardest yet. The rich tourist. The career military man. The bachelor businessman. The quiet handyman. 6 months and they’ll be gone. I never let anyone stay longer, but with my bills piling up and my doubts worsening, I may be forced to give them an extension. I don’t mind the quiet one, but the other three keep trying to get close. Do they think I’m stupid? That a pretty face or easily bought deeds will impress me? I need them to see that none of that matters. I’m not the person I was before. Those beautiful words only anger me, the kind actions only make me suspicious.

I won’t let my heart or my mind be broken like my body. I won’t. (This is a Hawaiian Contemporary Why Choose/Polyamory Romance, which centres around a Kanaka Maoli woman, facets of Modern Hawaiian Culture, and Medical Trauma. See foreword for any/all TWs & CWs.)

Genres: Contemporary, Why Choose, Contemporary Romance

400 pages, Paperback

Published August 3, 2021

About the author

Kahaula is the Hawaiian Goddess of Sexual Dreams. I use Her name as my pen name out of devotion and respect to Her ❤️ I write Why Choose/Reverse Harem exclusively, but in many genres, like Paranormal, Sci-Fi, Apocalytic, Alt-History, and so much more 💪🏽

Join me on Facebook in Kahaula Dreams Reader Group for tasty tidbits & saucy fun 🤗

Reviews

[mspotts · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Contemporary Reverse Harem Standalone Romance with MMFMM pairings and strong hurt/comfort themes.

Noteworthy details:
- all MCs are in their late thirties to mid forties
- POC heroine and POC/non-white male leads
- the setting has importance; Hawaii and Hawaiian culture are portrayed with depth
- some light femdom, D/s play
- role reversal; in this book, the men are the 'sunshine' and the female lead is the 'grumpy' one
- wonderful writing


Bitter Rain was refreshing. Honest. Empowering.

At times, this story was hard to read, but it was still definitely WORTH the read.

Romance stories like this are so important. Books that reject the notion that a woman must first be perfect before she is deserving of love. (And this being a woman of colour, no less!)

There were moments when I struggled to embrace the female lead's abrasiveness, contrariness, even her justified rage and paranoia, but I swiftly realised that that was a ME problem: because I'm so unused to seeing imperfect women (read: normal, human women) being portrayed in fiction as romantic leads.

Romance stories with unapologetically difficult, emotional, and aggressive men are widely accepted and considered the norm. The reverse is far less so.

It's important as writers and readers, that we support female characters who aren't perfect in getting their Happily Ever After.

Thank you, Kahaula, for writing this fantastic book. Romantic fiction is all the better for it.

[Ravyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

MMFMM pairings.

Trauma / PTSD

MC in 30/40s

Raw and /difficult/ emotional

[Brittany]

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

Okay, I have a few qualms about this book:
-The character mentions she is "clean," to convince her partner he doesn't have to use a condom, and I'm like ... can we stop using the term "clean"? PLEASE? Thanks!
-One of the male love interests is an army veteran, and while I recognize that is probably realistic to the lived experience of some Hawaiians falling in love with a U.S. Army vet, I just hate the idea that he was a "good" veteran. Like, I totally get that the U.S. doesn't leave young men many choices, especially under oppressive systems. However, I just think his background could've been different. That's all. Kaleo is so passionate about the sovereignty of her native Hawaii, so I find it hard to believe that his involvement with the U.S. armed forces wouldn't be a huge point of contention.

Okay, beyond this, I loved the chronic pain and medical trauma representation. I have chronic pain, medical trauma, and have continued to experience medical and misogynistic gaslighting in the health care industry. I have felt pretty much abandoned and as if I have to be the loudest advocate, which is exhausting. I totally felt for Kaleo's exhaustion and sometimes reluctant resignation to her new reality.

I also related to the toxic paternal side of her family trying to take away her home that her grandparent left behind for her. Fucking wild. Family can truly be the worst people for you sometimes. I appreciated this representation of messy families, and I generally am a sucker for a character like Kaleo: a woman with true conviction, who will go down fighting. She is tired, but she is stubborn and will not give up.

Regarding the romances, I didn't understand the romances between her and Kerry and Stephen (Stephen is the army dude). I could see the histories between her and Nadeem, and her and Guy. However, Kerry and Stephen's relationship with her seemed surface-level, as they literally agreed to pursue a polyamorous relationship with her before even meeting her or knowing anything about her. I recognize they put a lot of faith in their bestie Nadeem's word, but their subsequent relationships felt shallow to me.

I appreciated the bisexual representation of Kaleo, Stephen, and Kerry though. I recognized they connected through that, but individually, I appreciated that Stephen and Kerry interrogated their feelings for each other first.

steam rating: 5 out of 5

Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Medical trauma, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual content, and Abandonment
Moderate: Car accident

[Kat Nui · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book isn't for the rainbows and sunshine people, dear reader... it's for those of us who have experienced trauma (physical or otherwise) and want to see ourselves represented in a work of romantic fiction. We are here, we exist, and we are generally worthy of the relationship types we are into. I related to Kaleo feeling broken and as if the (healthy ethically non monogamous) relationships I need are beyond hoping for.

I loved the emotional roller coaster ride I went on in the reading of this book, and parts of it stretched my mind a bit in great ways regarding the masculine side of our desired relationships. (The MM parts were intellectually interesting to me as well, not being something I'm used to)
The epilogue was like reading a hug. I was a bit sniffly but happy for them, and a bit more hopeful for myself.

I requested and read this through my local library, but I also caught the ebook when it was free for the authors birthday. You might find this exact review on Amazon, with a 5 star rating. If you dig #ENM#WhyChoose#DisabledRomance, especially written by a brilliantly talented #Hawaiianauthor...I strongly suggest you click through and read this book for yourself.

[TipseyBookReviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I have read by Kahaula but it won’t be the last! Kaleo has lost so much after a drunk driver hit her. But she is fierce and trying to hold onto her home by renting it out as a kind of Inn. I love that all the guys are there for her and I loved seeing the bond between them develop just as much as the bond between Kaleo and the guys. Kaleo is in daily pain from the accident, and I liked that it was realistically described and she doesn’t just miraculously heal from it.

[Chrissy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life Isn’t Always Beautiful in Hawaii

Kaole is a proud Hawaiian woman, who worships the gods of her home. She is all alone living in a house that was built by her grandparents and added on to over the years, to create a slightly ramshackle set of buildings. Kaole’s home is the only source of income she has because she was in a severe car accident caused by a drunk driver a few years ago. Whilst she was learning to walk again her mother was diagnosed with cancer and after her death, her father followed along soon after. Because she owns her own home she can get social security and she didn’t receive a payout from the insurance company because she apparently wasn’t disabled enough by the accident according to them.

Kaole has had an awful lot of bad things happen to her and she is very alone. However, she gets up everyday and does the best she can by running a bed & breakfast out of her house. She recently accepted four men on a 6 month contract to stay with her, three of which are friends and the fourth of which she agreed to have stay for minimum rent in exchange for doing work on the house. What she doesn’t realise is that all four men want to explore having a relationship with her. They decide to woo her by stealth because Kaole is very protective of her heart and never gives it away to prevent getting it hurt.

This book is not fluffy and light. It’s filled with pain, both physical and emotional. Though Kaole suffers from chronic pain and other issues from her accident, she is still able to walk and do light chores, which is something that a lot of people don’t understand. Just because you aren’t in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you aren’t disabled, and just because some days you can manage to do some gardening, doesn’t mean that you can manage to do any for the other 25 days of the month. I always like it when a disabled writer chooses to share their experiences in the fiction that they write.

This book describes the realities of sex when you are disabled, that you need pillows to prop you up, or certain positions so you don’t get hurt. Just because these things are described during the sex scenes doesn’t make them any less hot, though the painful aftermath probably does.

I really liked how this writer also shared part of her culture with us. I have never been to Hawaii and I am unlikely to ever go, so I’ve never really been exposed to the culture and it was interesting to learn a little about some of the beliefs found on the islands. They felt real and a natural part of the narrative, a simple part of who Kaole was.

I liked that Kaole was proud and strong and fierce. She fought everyday for what she had refused to give up, even when she sometimes wanted to. The men who wanted to be part of her life were interesting too. All four men had experienced difficulties in their lives, which is unsurprising as they were all in their 30s and 40s and therefore had knowledge of the heartaches of life. They were all unique and cared for her and each other in different ways. I particularly liked that two of the characters had feelings for each other and Kaole encouraged that.

The characters all had to go through a lot to get to their HEA. They all had to rip open their hearts and bare their souls to each other, risking everything for the chance to make their relationship work. It was not plain sailing by any stretch of the imagination and there were a lot hills to climb for all of the characters. Learning to share their doubts, fears and pain took so much courage but they knew they had to do it for a chance to make it work. They messed up a lot, but they kept going because they really cared about each other.

This was not an easy read and there were some issues with the flow of the narrative, but I still felt I got a lot out of the read. It felt good to see someone a little like me in a romance novel.

[Isabelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5* This didn't hit the expectations I had for it. Not my usual way to review, but I am going to do a likes and dislikes list as it really is hard to sum this one up for me.

I liked:
- that the characters were in their 30s and 40s, it felt relatable and a more mature read. The characters had lived through different things, they were better equipped at reading their own emotions and others.
- the chronic illness rep for the FMC. For me, I really find books where there is a mental or physical disability (whether visible or invisible) rep to be much more interesting, and relatable to read. Life isn't easy or perfect, and so many people are battling against their bodies and it just feels more like "life" when a MC hits that representation.

I disliked:
- there wasn't a lot of relationship feels for me. There are time hops in this (a week later, a month later etc.) and it just meant that I didn't really get a connection with the characters. This starts with 2 of the MMCS already having a little history with the FMC, so you already miss those early connections. Then 2 more MMCS are introduced, but then the author just jumps the timeline, so you miss the characters getting to know each other and there being any chemistry build up. The characters just suddenly seem to know each other, but the reader was left behind for it.
- the spice scenes were okay, but it just felt like something was missing...maybe the spark or chemistry. I just didn't love them.
- all the MMCS planning and discussing the FMC behind her back, how to win her over and what they think she needs. It just very much felt like a divide of her and them, rather than a partnership that I prefer when reading RH/Why Choose genres.

[Kat Quinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jagged edges are more interesting anyway.

This book is not cute, it’s not dressed up in bows or frills—there’s not a hint of rainbow sherbet topped with glitter in sight. Instead, it is rough, it is raw, it is ragged, and it beautiful.

Kaleo is a broken women held together with stubbornness, pride, and paranoia. She trusts no one but herself, and as we learn more about her? Yeah, she has every right to keep things close to the vest. There is a tiny part inside her that holds on tot he hope that there is something better out there in this life for her, but the hurt inside her never lets her see it or believe it to actually be true. Instead, she pushes everyone away from her, too used to loss and especially too used to pain. That doesn’t mean that, despite all that, she doesn’t deserve love, and that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t receive love, as she most certainly does. But it’s a different matter entirely as to whether or not she chooses to accept it.

This book is about a woman who will always live with chronic health needs, and I personally feel that the most important part of this book is that that never changes. So many of us need this book, where someone who has been made to believe that they are less than because they live in bodies and minds that require extra considerations, learns that their imperfections don’t make them any less perfect. Loved Kaleo’s story, as well as the complex and human histories and personalities of her men. May they all live happily ever after.

[4foxsake · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of feels

I feel like you need to know chronic pain a little bit to understand this book. First the writing is amazing - I love reading books by Kahaula and this is no different. Kahole is a broken and very bitter woman after an accident took the life as she knew it.

No spoilers, but I was frustrated with how Kahole treated people, especially the 4 men living with her…even if she was trying to protect herself. Although it also showed the juxtaposition of the woman who she used to be, which was pretty much opposite of who she was now, and the effect of a shit hand being dealt.

I get it. It seems like the author gets it as well, as unfortunate as it’s a crappy club to be in. Overall really great book but it’s pretty heavy on many fronts - chronic pain; loss; glbt rights (esp in the military). HEA and stand-alone.

[Alexis C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where to start… Bitter Rain is one of those books that I immediately knew would rocket to the top of my favorite reads.

Just wow. The rawness of the emotion and the realness from every single character. I’m in awe of this book and all that it made me feel.

Kaleo’s bitterness and self-reliance was so relatable it hurt—although I would never claim to understand the struggle of chronic pain and life-altering injuries—her inner turmoil was one that I recognized. Letting people in is nearly impossible when you’ve been betrayed and broken so many times.

I’m so glad I found this story. It’s so broken and beautiful and gave me hope. The way the author wrote about Hawaii and the culture was moving and so special and I loved learning small pieces throughout the book.

And of course, the spice was good as hell too. 😏😏😏😏😏

CW: car accident, chronic pain, familial death

[Layla - Talk To Me About Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

An absolute heart wrenching book.
I've had so many emotions whilst reading this that I've had to stop and compose myself before beginning again.

Kaleo has fought through so much heartbreak and despair, and although in parts I really didn't like how her character acted, I do understand how chronic pain and illness affects a person.

Guy ❤ Is another who despite hitting rock bottom has come out fighting the other side.
Stephen, Kerry & Nadeem ❤
These 4 men have come together and formed an united front and bit by bit break down Kaleo's defenses.

I loved how the author has immersed their Hawaiian culture through out this book, it makes for an interesting read (&history lesson!) and I'm looking forward to reading more from this author ❤

[Tawny Oakland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a rollercoaster from cover to cover. The FMC is dealing with chronic health issues and constant pain from an accident caused by a drunk driver. Her struggle to believe the men with stay with her is very real. More books need to draw attention to the everyday women that aren't perfect Barbie dolls with everything going right in their world. I love how the men work together to take care of her and are all equal in the relationship. The the issues and feelings this story went through felt completly realistic. If you are looking for a lighthearted read this story isn't it. But if you want a heartwrenching brush with reality that does end in a HEA, this book is the best I've seen at it.

[Tracy Books_Beers_Brews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is really about finding some hope after a horrible storm. Kaleo has had so much bad luck in her life that she has given up on ever opening herself up to anyone. It takes 4 strong and determined men to finally make a dent in the walls she has built up around herself.

I love this story and all the relationship dynamics that came along with it. The members of the group each bring their own unique strengths together & it all comes together in a wonder way, even if it takes a long time and many hurdles for that to occur.

It is a wonderful story and I definitely recommend it.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Critical Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Entertainment Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐.💫
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Bitter Rain follows strong FMC, Kaleo, who suffers from chronic pain and PTSD after a debilitating car accident. The events that have occurred in her life, leave her very guarded and at times paranoid. Kaleo has a wish to have a traditional Hawaiian polyamorous relationship but struggles to let her guard down and also stay afloat. She decides to rent out sections of her house for 6 months at a time at the suggestion of her handyman also living in her house. Enter her “temporary” tenants: a rich tourist, a career military man, and a bachelor businessman who wants to fulfill her wish and not there for more nefarious reasons.

Overall, this was a 3.5 ⭐ read for me. This was very much a character-driven story with lots of emotion and spicy scenes but I felt it lacked an overarching plot. There are ample backstories about Kaleo and the men that come into her life but the reason for them appearing was not compelling enough. All of sudden these men move into her house with the intention of fulfilling her wish of creating a polycule when they had no indication of being polyamorous in the beginning felt disingenuous. I think if this were a series, we could see these relationships form over time but because it was a standalone, the pacing felt rushed.

[Paula · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF 35% I can't get into this😔. I feel like I was thrown into the middle of a book where was the beginning? I think we needed a prequel or prologue because there definitely seems to be some backstory I missed I don't get why these guys all of sudden really like her. I don't feel the connection between them because I feel like I missed when it started. Maybe it's just the writing style but I don't think this one's for me. Also not a fan of m/m in rh.

[Daphnne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Page turner!

I'm honestly at a loss for words here...this book was so good but I'm not sure I could do it justice in words. This book was an emotional roller coaster about learning to love, learning to accept help and learning to let the anger and bitterness go. It's about the light at the end of the tunnel or maybe the better way to phrase that is the light on the other side once you open yourself to it. This was a beautiful love story.

[Boo · Rating 4 out of 5]

enjoyed

This was a pretty good read. I enjoyed it and the characters and the fact that the female was strong yet broken. The writing is different. I don’t know how to explain it, just different but I liked it.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

This story is written raw and real, and make you believe in true love. The characters are realistic and so well written. I loved reading how they get their happily ever after.

[Miranda May · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this story. It’s different from most other books in that it feels genuine to this native Hawaiian character. The author allows us to see into the reality of being a native and their beliefs. On top of that, the story feels authentic and is very enjoyable.

[Jodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is raw. I really enjoyed this story. The author did a fantastic job bringing the characters to life. I highly recommend this book.

[SakuraReader · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not for me. DNF.

[Shannon Seafish Lucy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. It definitely wasn't a typical RH and I appreciate the author bringing in the FMC having a chronic pain condition, but the storyline just didn't flow well for me.

[Coco.V]

🎁 FREE on Amazon today (8/11/2022)! 🎁

[hobbithopeful · Rating 5 out of 5]

review tc-wrist injury

[Eva · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Just a girl reading in the corner]

nope

[Shan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25✨

i was really looking forward to this book, but it didn’t fully meet my expectations :( i think the writing style just wasn’t my favorite tbh, but i still enjoyed reading the book

pros:
-native hawaiian rep/inclusion of culture
-lgbtq & disability rep
-complex, well written fmc
-good pacing
-some cute af fluff scenes!

cons:
-the writing style wasn’t my favorite
-the spicy scenes were lacking in descriptions of feelings/thought. it felt too procedural if that makes sense? i ended up skipping them, which i almost never do
-i did get a bit bored in some places, and i wish there was a bit more conflict


this last comment is just a personal preference as a healthcare worker who is interested in diagnoses, but i would’ve liked to know more about kaleos health, symptoms, and diagnoses. but again, that’s just a personal opinion on something that i would’ve found interesting

[mall0rie666 · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️