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Nephi's Courage: Story of a Bad Mormon
Winner of the 2020 Book Achievement Award in the Novel Category and 2020 International Book Awards Finalist in the LGBTQ+ Fiction Category. A heart-wrenching contemporary fiction novel. Nephi Willard is a practicing Mormon who loves God and his church. He grew up in Happy Valley, the center of LDS life in Utah, and faithfully served a mission. The perfect Mormon life would be his, if not for the fact that Nephi is gay, putting him at odds with his church leaders. No matter how well Nephi obeys the commandments, he doesn't seem to fit in at church, and his desire to follow the Mormon rules makes it difficult to fit in with the gay community. While he tries to reconcile his Mormon side with his gay side, Nephi navigates two worlds in a struggle to understand himself. When a new love interest introduces him to possibilities he never imagined, he must decide whether to embrace his nature or his faith, which takes this religious gay man on a journey that is both devastating and beautiful.
- GenresReligionM M RomanceLGBT
314 pages, Hardcover
Published May 18, 2021
40 people are currently reading
44 people want to read
About the author
Rory McFarlan
2 books11 followersRory McFarlan was born and raised in Utah and grew up in the Mormon church. Rory currently resides in Seattle. Rory is married with three children and enjoys the outdoors and writing. Rory is a LGBTQIA+ ally and an advocate of equality for all. As an independent author who is not backed by a publishing house, your honest reviews are very important and Rory very much appreciates your feedback. Please always know that you are wonderful just the way you are, and you deserve love. None of us is perfect, but each of us is enough.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
March 10, 2020
This book almost killed me. It was so well written, so simply stated, yet so full of heartbreak, injustice, and anticipation for the future.
It tore through all of my emotions, but I ended up feeling an overwhelming sense of hope. To me, that was the main theme. Nephi held his belief's in the Mormon church above all else. He was stoic and fair, wanting the same promises and opportunities that anyone else could have that obeyed the commandments.
This book was written so well, with information about the Mormon church scattered throughout, as well as love and loss and believing in something bigger than yourself. I literally had goosebumps when I made it to the end.
So well done. I'm just grateful that I had an opportunity to read this. It will stay with me for a long time.
It tore through all of my emotions, but I ended up feeling an overwhelming sense of hope. To me, that was the main theme. Nephi held his belief's in the Mormon church above all else. He was stoic and fair, wanting the same promises and opportunities that anyone else could have that obeyed the commandments.
This book was written so well, with information about the Mormon church scattered throughout, as well as love and loss and believing in something bigger than yourself. I literally had goosebumps when I made it to the end.
So well done. I'm just grateful that I had an opportunity to read this. It will stay with me for a long time.
March 7, 2020
Hard start. Important story
The truth. This starts off very bleak because it has to. It was hard to press forward in the early chapters. This is an important story about love, respect, and most importantly the breaking of stereotypes. The resolution is fantastic and made the entire journey worth the while. I will never again ask the question that plagues Nephi in his daily life. Thank you Rory for this important lesson! -A.C.
The truth. This starts off very bleak because it has to. It was hard to press forward in the early chapters. This is an important story about love, respect, and most importantly the breaking of stereotypes. The resolution is fantastic and made the entire journey worth the while. I will never again ask the question that plagues Nephi in his daily life. Thank you Rory for this important lesson! -A.C.
February 17, 2020
I wrote a full review of this on my blog: https://brigidfoxandbuddha.wordpress....
December 30, 2019
I wrote "Nephi's Courage" from the heart. The story was in my head for ten years before I finally dedicated the time to put it to paper. I loved getting to know my characters and I hope that you will, too. Follow Nephi's struggle to find his place in the world as a gay Mormon. He faces rejection inside and outside of the church, and must come to an understanding of who he is, and what is most important in his life.
December 23, 2019
"Nephi's Courage" is an uplifting story about being true to oneself despite the odds. It explores the warring nature of religious faith vs the LGBT community not from one side alone, but showing multiple angles and experiences. No matter where you fall in the issue, the story is very enlightening.
Nephi is a kind, compassionate man who has dedicated his life to the church regardless of how it alienates him due to his sexual orientation. Thus far he has maintained his position working as an active Mormon, but when he voices his concerns that, according to doctrine, he may never reach God's graces after death, the people he has loved and prayed with for so long begin to remove him from the church he loves so dearly. He decides to finally venture into the gay community, only to be met with antagonism for refusing to give up his faith.
Throughout the story, Nephi tries to reconcile these two very real and very important aspects of himself, facing discrimination in the church, in the workplace, and in the rest of the world. But with the help of a few accepting friends from both the Mormon and LGBT worlds as well as his absolute faith in a loving God, he finds the strength to face the flawed nature of humans and press forward for the good of others and his own personal happiness.
An amazing read for religious and non-religious alike. Well written with a well rounded plot and developed characters, and an empowering message of love and compassion.
Nephi is a kind, compassionate man who has dedicated his life to the church regardless of how it alienates him due to his sexual orientation. Thus far he has maintained his position working as an active Mormon, but when he voices his concerns that, according to doctrine, he may never reach God's graces after death, the people he has loved and prayed with for so long begin to remove him from the church he loves so dearly. He decides to finally venture into the gay community, only to be met with antagonism for refusing to give up his faith.
Throughout the story, Nephi tries to reconcile these two very real and very important aspects of himself, facing discrimination in the church, in the workplace, and in the rest of the world. But with the help of a few accepting friends from both the Mormon and LGBT worlds as well as his absolute faith in a loving God, he finds the strength to face the flawed nature of humans and press forward for the good of others and his own personal happiness.
An amazing read for religious and non-religious alike. Well written with a well rounded plot and developed characters, and an empowering message of love and compassion.
July 30, 2025
Gut-wrenching. Tender. Unapologetically human.
Nephi’s Courage isn’t just a story, it’s an experience. Rory McFarlan didn’t write a book; he opened a vein.
Nephi’s internal tug-of-war between faith and identity is handled with raw honesty and aching sensitivity. There’s no melodrama here, just a man trying to live fully in two worlds that often demand he choose. And as a reader, that quiet unraveling hits harder than any dramatic twist ever could.
What stood out most wasn’t just the emotional tension, but the subtle moments, the pauses, the longings, the silences between words. It made Nephi feel less like a character and more like someone I knew, someone I wanted to fight for.
McFarlan’s writing has a gentle courage to it, mirroring Nephi himself. And though this is his debut, it carries the emotional weight and control of someone who’s been doing this far longer.
Highly recommended if you’ve ever felt like you had to split yourself to belong, and especially if you believe, deep down, that reconciliation is possible.
Nephi’s Courage isn’t just a story, it’s an experience. Rory McFarlan didn’t write a book; he opened a vein.
Nephi’s internal tug-of-war between faith and identity is handled with raw honesty and aching sensitivity. There’s no melodrama here, just a man trying to live fully in two worlds that often demand he choose. And as a reader, that quiet unraveling hits harder than any dramatic twist ever could.
What stood out most wasn’t just the emotional tension, but the subtle moments, the pauses, the longings, the silences between words. It made Nephi feel less like a character and more like someone I knew, someone I wanted to fight for.
McFarlan’s writing has a gentle courage to it, mirroring Nephi himself. And though this is his debut, it carries the emotional weight and control of someone who’s been doing this far longer.
Highly recommended if you’ve ever felt like you had to split yourself to belong, and especially if you believe, deep down, that reconciliation is possible.
September 10, 2020
The book is an accurate depiction of many young people growing up Mormon. The heartbreaking moments brought back personal experiences. The towns, settings, and descriptions are real places where I came to terms with my religion, my family, and coming out.
The writing seems targeted toward a younger generation... at times a bit kitschy with Mormon names, etc. I was able to identify with the anonymized business names which seemed to be only fictional aspect. There are many details of the Mormon church and the related Utah culture. I expect some of the language and terms may sound foreign to non Mormons. A good read for anyone curious about growing up in Utah as a gay Mormon.
After reading the book, I am left questioning why so little has changed. Why do we hold onto our religious upbringings even at our own detriment? Why do we fail to empathize with each other? How do we reconcile contrasting aspects of who we are?
The writing seems targeted toward a younger generation... at times a bit kitschy with Mormon names, etc. I was able to identify with the anonymized business names which seemed to be only fictional aspect. There are many details of the Mormon church and the related Utah culture. I expect some of the language and terms may sound foreign to non Mormons. A good read for anyone curious about growing up in Utah as a gay Mormon.
After reading the book, I am left questioning why so little has changed. Why do we hold onto our religious upbringings even at our own detriment? Why do we fail to empathize with each other? How do we reconcile contrasting aspects of who we are?
May 1, 2020
So, I'll give this book two stars for the subject matter. But I really, really didn't like them way it was written. It was soo overfilled with details, that I kept thinking of Nephi (or the author) as being somewhere on the Autism spectrum. I really say that with the outmost respect - it is just a way to explain that reading all the looong, and never-ending explanations, felt like hearing someone on the spectrum talk about something that really interest them. I don't know... That might not be a good comparison. Just ignore me ;o)
There are other books that delve with homosexuality and the Mormon church, and every one I've read was a million times better than this one.
There are other books that delve with homosexuality and the Mormon church, and every one I've read was a million times better than this one.
January 6, 2020
This is an extremely thought provoking debut novel from Rory McFarlan that has been sensitively and vividly written. The story is both heartbreaking and full of hope and will ring true with anyone who has struggled with the restrictions of their religion and the judgement of their family or peers. McFarlan paints a complex picture of Mormon life in modern day Utah as his lead character, Nephi, comes to terms with the consequences of his lifestyle choices and the courage he displays in rising above the cruel censure he receives.
January 28, 2020
Staying true to who you are
Nephi is a good Mormon committed to his faith. Unfortunately he is gay, and the Church is not really accepting of that. In order to fit in, he has to deny who he is. Although he follows the rules and commits no ‘sin’, he is excommunicated for daring to hope that the rules might change. It takes courage to hold onto one’s principles in the face of intransigence. Interesting and worthwhile read. Recommend to anyone interested in personal growth or spiritual journeys.
Nephi is a good Mormon committed to his faith. Unfortunately he is gay, and the Church is not really accepting of that. In order to fit in, he has to deny who he is. Although he follows the rules and commits no ‘sin’, he is excommunicated for daring to hope that the rules might change. It takes courage to hold onto one’s principles in the face of intransigence. Interesting and worthwhile read. Recommend to anyone interested in personal growth or spiritual journeys.
January 8, 2020
I just finished reading Nephi's Courage. As a gay Mormon, I relate well to the main character in the story. The struggles and triumphs felt very familiar to me as did the community that the story takes place in.
This book made me cry but it also made me laugh out loud. That is a sign of a really good book to me.
There are hearbreaking moments, but there is also a really sweet love story. I fell in love with the characters. I hope to see more from this author.
This book made me cry but it also made me laugh out loud. That is a sign of a really good book to me.
There are hearbreaking moments, but there is also a really sweet love story. I fell in love with the characters. I hope to see more from this author.
January 23, 2020
Nephi courage:
This book was so uplifting ,wholesome sad and happy all at the same time..sadly still true in all walks of life to this day.the author manager to encompass all this and more.I look forward to his next t book very much.
This book was so uplifting ,wholesome sad and happy all at the same time..sadly still true in all walks of life to this day.the author manager to encompass all this and more.I look forward to his next t book very much.
February 1, 2020
Well written!
The book was more a chronicle of the LDS Church’s stand on being gay. Well written! I learned a great deal about the culture of the church.
The book was more a chronicle of the LDS Church’s stand on being gay. Well written! I learned a great deal about the culture of the church.
February 15, 2020
Helpful
This book has some good& helpful information. I did enjoy reading it.
It does make you think about things.
I know the gay lifestyle is difficult.
This book has some good& helpful information. I did enjoy reading it.
It does make you think about things.
I know the gay lifestyle is difficult.
May 19, 2020
This was very difficult to read...I loved it, I hurt for him, I found the answers he received to his highly intelleginent questions incomprehensible. To use punished and ostracized is so unfair. I find that any religion that is so dogmatic that they seem to have no relation with we assume were Gods plans that I am amazed that someone would stay as long as Nephi did. Friendship and acceptance (which there was so little of) goes so much farther in fostering a persons faith in the teachings of their religion. I loved/hated the life problems in the book, and cheered so hard for his happiness.
August 27, 2024
There are some parts of this story where, as a writer (unpublished for now), I wouldn't have personally written certain things in, but the list is so short that it's not even worth revealing. Up to now, only 2 out of the 8 lgb books I've read ended up getting a favorable review from me. I am bisexual, but not at all interested in the typical gay fiction stories that have somehow managed to get published, including one where I literally slammed the book shut because of the immorality within. What I look for and hope for in lgb fiction is not just morality. I also look and hope for decent, proper representation (even if the character is a gay male as opposed to being a bisexual male). Since I detest stereotypical, or otherwise bad-representation books about gay/bi men, I sought out a gay fiction novel where the main gay male character was also religious -- in this case, specifically, Mormon. I pictured the local church (that I've unfortunately attended) for the most part, while reading the parts about Nephi's presence at his church. The only real difference between the church in my city and the church described in this book seems to be that the one in my city does not have a gymnasium.
Nephi Willard, unsurprising to anyone who's done a lot of Christian research, is a Latter-Day Saint named after the Book of Mormon prophet Nephi, the son of the prophet Lehi and his wife Sariah. At the start of the book, he is in a calling as basically a church secretary for his local ward/church and he's been struggling for quite some time now, trying to reconcile his sexuality with his faith. What follows is a struggle both internal and external with contradictions from both affecting his life in some way, shape, or form because of his sexual orientation and the bigotry of some people.
This book perhaps dramatizes the church's typical response to a lgbt congregant who they believe isn't celibate, but judging by my own experiences with judgmental missionaries..., it isn't very far off. This book was released in 2019 after the church reversed its stance on the baptism of children of lgbt parents and have actually also called on members to treat their lgbt brothers and sisters better, but that doesn't mean that every member does. This author did a good job putting together a story to illustrate homophobia and how being part of two worlds such as these can be treacherous.
Rory McFarlan is a self-published author, and I would say they did a good job. Several of the characters are likable, and several aren't, which is how it should be in a good story. I did personally prefer Bradley to Alex. Alex came across as too whiney and a bit too stereotypical for my tastes. In the end, I'm pleased with this story, for the most part. It has, for the most part, proper representation about a gay male even though I personally would've picked Bradley and taken Bradley on a vacation instead of Alex. Alex sounds like someone I'd rather just be friends with instead of dating, but this isn't my story. It's about Nephi. I'm going to give this story 3 stars.
Edit 1/4/23: After some research, I have sadly found out that this book does not accurately depict involuntary and voluntary psychiatric holds. Typically, these are something of a joke because of lack of funding and the hiring of heartless alleged "professionals." Unless you're under the age of 18 or over the age of perhaps 65, you're probably going to get the piddly 3-4 day stay where any time longer than that and you'll be mocked, ridiculed, or otherwise treated badly. This book depicts almost a 2 week stay in a psychiatric hold, but despite this being realistic fiction, that is just not realistic. I see no alternative but to reduce my rating to 2 stars.
Nephi Willard, unsurprising to anyone who's done a lot of Christian research, is a Latter-Day Saint named after the Book of Mormon prophet Nephi, the son of the prophet Lehi and his wife Sariah. At the start of the book, he is in a calling as basically a church secretary for his local ward/church and he's been struggling for quite some time now, trying to reconcile his sexuality with his faith. What follows is a struggle both internal and external with contradictions from both affecting his life in some way, shape, or form because of his sexual orientation and the bigotry of some people.
This book perhaps dramatizes the church's typical response to a lgbt congregant who they believe isn't celibate, but judging by my own experiences with judgmental missionaries..., it isn't very far off. This book was released in 2019 after the church reversed its stance on the baptism of children of lgbt parents and have actually also called on members to treat their lgbt brothers and sisters better, but that doesn't mean that every member does. This author did a good job putting together a story to illustrate homophobia and how being part of two worlds such as these can be treacherous.
Rory McFarlan is a self-published author, and I would say they did a good job. Several of the characters are likable, and several aren't, which is how it should be in a good story. I did personally prefer Bradley to Alex. Alex came across as too whiney and a bit too stereotypical for my tastes. In the end, I'm pleased with this story, for the most part. It has, for the most part, proper representation about a gay male even though I personally would've picked Bradley and taken Bradley on a vacation instead of Alex. Alex sounds like someone I'd rather just be friends with instead of dating, but this isn't my story. It's about Nephi. I'm going to give this story 3 stars.
Edit 1/4/23: After some research, I have sadly found out that this book does not accurately depict involuntary and voluntary psychiatric holds. Typically, these are something of a joke because of lack of funding and the hiring of heartless alleged "professionals." Unless you're under the age of 18 or over the age of perhaps 65, you're probably going to get the piddly 3-4 day stay where any time longer than that and you'll be mocked, ridiculed, or otherwise treated badly. This book depicts almost a 2 week stay in a psychiatric hold, but despite this being realistic fiction, that is just not realistic. I see no alternative but to reduce my rating to 2 stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 2, 2020
Honest and Heartfelt
There are so many things I love about this story. The characters are well-developed and they feel real. You really get a sense for who they are, and you get the feeling that you are right there with them, every step of the way. You experience the whole gamut of emotions, right along with them. You will fall in love with some of them, and seriously dislike others. The main idea behind this book for me is kindness and inclusion. It also speaks about the power of friendship and acceptance. Diversity is beautiful.
I think the message here is about empathy, kindness and understanding among all people. There are powerful lessons of humanity and kindness that are found within these pages. Read it with an open mind, and an open heart. We are all God's children and he loves every one of us.
There are so many things I love about this story. The characters are well-developed and they feel real. You really get a sense for who they are, and you get the feeling that you are right there with them, every step of the way. You experience the whole gamut of emotions, right along with them. You will fall in love with some of them, and seriously dislike others. The main idea behind this book for me is kindness and inclusion. It also speaks about the power of friendship and acceptance. Diversity is beautiful.
I think the message here is about empathy, kindness and understanding among all people. There are powerful lessons of humanity and kindness that are found within these pages. Read it with an open mind, and an open heart. We are all God's children and he loves every one of us.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews