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Beating Heart Baby
From debut author Lio Min comes BEATING HEART BABY , a tender love letter to internet friendships, anime, and indie rock, perfect for fans of HEARTSTOPPER
When artistic and sensitive Santi arrives at his new high school, everyone in the wildly talented marching band welcomes him with open arms. Everyone except for the prickly, proud musical prodigy Suwa, who doesn’t think Santi has what it takes to be in the band.
But Santi and Suwa share painful pasts, and when they open up to each other, a tentative friendship begins. And soon, that friendship turns into something more. . . .
Will their fresh start rip at the seams as Suwa seeks out a solo spotlight, and both boys come to terms with what it'll take, and what they'll have to let go, to realize their dreams?
When artistic and sensitive Santi arrives at his new high school, everyone in the wildly talented marching band welcomes him with open arms. Everyone except for the prickly, proud musical prodigy Suwa, who doesn’t think Santi has what it takes to be in the band.
But Santi and Suwa share painful pasts, and when they open up to each other, a tentative friendship begins. And soon, that friendship turns into something more. . . .
Will their fresh start rip at the seams as Suwa seeks out a solo spotlight, and both boys come to terms with what it'll take, and what they'll have to let go, to realize their dreams?
352 pages, Paperback
First published July 26, 2022
52 people are currently reading
7368 people want to read
About the author
Lio Min
2 books129 followersLio Min is the acclaimed author of Beating Heart Baby, a long-time music reporter, and a fullmetal optimist. They live in Oakland, California, and write toward the future.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 376 reviews
January 24, 2023
Please, read this gem about music, dreams, and first love between two boys (one trans)!!! It’s utterly gorgeous, amazing, incredible, and mind-blowing!
I found Beating Heart Baby on Edelweiss/NetGalley and fell for the sweet and intimate cover. My request for an ARC kept pending and pending, and in the meantime, I read some raving reviews. I got restless, and I felt this want, no, this need in my body, to read this story RIGHT NOW!!! And then suddenly I got approved… I almost cried and screamed out loud.
Do you know that feeling? When you want to read on and on, and you try to read slowly because you don’t want the story to end, and at the same time, you see those pages flashing by at an agonizingly fast pace? That gnawing feeling in your chest when you put your book or e-reader down and want it with you every minute of the day? That sigh of contentment when you pick it up and start reading again?
This book! This book! This book! Goosebumps crawled over my body, and smiles tugged at my lips. My eyes watered from anger and joy, and sometimes I just stared in the distance, teardrops rolling down my cheek. My chest hurt and my heart thudded in my throat. And then the sky broke open, and warm sunshowers fell down on me, embracing me wholeheartedly. This book! This book! This book! So full of emotions. Full of emo oceans. So achingly beautiful!
Beating Heart Baby is a love song about music, about self-acceptance, about dreams, about found family, and about love itself! It’s so, so, so good! I’m sure this story will end up as one of my most favorite reads of 2022, and probably as one of my most favorite young adult books ever.
And as a sideline, I loved the structure, set up as a music album, divided into an A-side (narrated from Santi’s voice) and a B-side (narrated from Suwa’s voice), with track numbers as chapters.
So, did you quit reading my review and put this sweet, and intimate, and personal, and heartbreaking, and heartwarming, and stunningly, lyrically written story on your TBR? And did you preorder it? NO? Please, leave Goodreads RIGHT NOW and do it!! And when you’re back on your socials and have an Instagram account, please follow @emo.ocean (Twitter @EmoOcean).
Thank you so much, Lio Min, for writing this incredible story! You’re going to be such a great author! Correction, you are a great author! And thank you, Flatiron, for trusting me to read this gem early!
I received an ARC from Flatiron and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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I found Beating Heart Baby on Edelweiss/NetGalley and fell for the sweet and intimate cover. My request for an ARC kept pending and pending, and in the meantime, I read some raving reviews. I got restless, and I felt this want, no, this need in my body, to read this story RIGHT NOW!!! And then suddenly I got approved… I almost cried and screamed out loud.
Do you know that feeling? When you want to read on and on, and you try to read slowly because you don’t want the story to end, and at the same time, you see those pages flashing by at an agonizingly fast pace? That gnawing feeling in your chest when you put your book or e-reader down and want it with you every minute of the day? That sigh of contentment when you pick it up and start reading again?
This book! This book! This book! Goosebumps crawled over my body, and smiles tugged at my lips. My eyes watered from anger and joy, and sometimes I just stared in the distance, teardrops rolling down my cheek. My chest hurt and my heart thudded in my throat. And then the sky broke open, and warm sunshowers fell down on me, embracing me wholeheartedly. This book! This book! This book! So full of emotions. Full of emo oceans. So achingly beautiful!
Beating Heart Baby is a love song about music, about self-acceptance, about dreams, about found family, and about love itself! It’s so, so, so good! I’m sure this story will end up as one of my most favorite reads of 2022, and probably as one of my most favorite young adult books ever.
And as a sideline, I loved the structure, set up as a music album, divided into an A-side (narrated from Santi’s voice) and a B-side (narrated from Suwa’s voice), with track numbers as chapters.
So, did you quit reading my review and put this sweet, and intimate, and personal, and heartbreaking, and heartwarming, and stunningly, lyrically written story on your TBR? And did you preorder it? NO? Please, leave Goodreads RIGHT NOW and do it!! And when you’re back on your socials and have an Instagram account, please follow @emo.ocean (Twitter @EmoOcean).
Thank you so much, Lio Min, for writing this incredible story! You’re going to be such a great author! Correction, you are a great author! And thank you, Flatiron, for trusting me to read this gem early!
I received an ARC from Flatiron and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Follow me on Instagram
September 29, 2022
Super super cute book. Beating Heart Baby follows a romance between a mixed Korean-Japanese and mixed Filipino-Latino gay teenaged couple as they search for one another and themselves. Leo Min includes a lot of elements that I imagine will resonate with those who had quirky interests in high school or throughout life: internet friendships, music, anime, and more. I liked this book because it’s unapologetically queer and trans and on-the-nose sentimental. The role of affirming, life-giving friends and family stood out to me too.
There was a tightness and quality to the prose of this book in its first 50 pages that had me wondering if I’d give this book five stars, though over time I felt like the writing became a bit more diffuse/not-as-precise. Still, I’d recommend this book to fans of queer young-adult fiction and I’m glad Beating Heart Baby exists for today’s teens.
There was a tightness and quality to the prose of this book in its first 50 pages that had me wondering if I’d give this book five stars, though over time I felt like the writing became a bit more diffuse/not-as-precise. Still, I’d recommend this book to fans of queer young-adult fiction and I’m glad Beating Heart Baby exists for today’s teens.
March 5, 2023
“all night, i repeated like a mantra in my head: don’t forget don’t forget don’t forget. we all found each other. that is the truly impossible part.”
3 years ago, santi’s internet best friend, memo, vanishes after he accidentally leaks memo’s song. now, santi arrives in la where his school’s marching band welcomes him except for suwa, the musical prodigy. but as they open up to each other, something kindles. when santi discovers an impossible truth, they must finally reckon with their dreams, pasts, & futures—together or apart.
beating heart baby exists on an ethereal plane. its feels achingly personal, like going back to a childhood home, walking down familiar hallways, sitting in an old bedroom on a bed that’s collected some dust.
in santi—my past. music was my first love; online friendships my second; art my third. falling in love to the backdrop of anime. how we both, as teens, discovered online fandoms—the place we first laid down roots, where we met people who became important lifelines for each other.
my parents said don’t talk to strangers online & i heard it as make your best friends strangers online. bc it’s a timeless gift to bridge miles & oceans purely through shared interests, to have someone on the internet trust you with a bit of their heart. how awful when that’s broken.
in suwa—my present.
“because, if i got what i wanted and it didn’t work out, i’d have nothing left to dream about.” —words from suwa i think about daily, whispered into my captions & writing projects.
his hopes, fears, gender, relationship with his father & dreams that he didn’t let soar are so inherently tied to music. music that is sacred, especially when songs take a life of their own. music that has saved my life.
meeting santi & suwa—past colliding with the present. no more running away. how the past gives the present wings needed to fly.
somehow, magically, this book captures every version of me, all the stars in my constellation of selves. what a gift. i can’t breathe. i’m in love with it. i'm devastated.
from front to end—beating heart baby feels like a heartsong to everything & everyone who got me here. i can’t thank lio min enough.
how beautiful it was to get to experience a book about online friendships with my internet best friend—meeks. to read about the magic of sharing your heart with someone online and see how i have exactly that now. it’s like walking down the street listening to music and sharing earphones. i’m so lucky.
Read
June 7, 2022Ugh, here. *reaches inside chest cavity* *pulls out heart* *puts it on a platter and hands it off to the author* Just take it.
December 6, 2023
“if only the foundation of my work wasn’t built on, as i’d phrased it, ‘a harmony that fell to pieces / from a fanfare to a whisper / broken of and with devotion.’”
santi arrives in los angeles ready for a new start. he’s still trying to get over losing his best friend, memo, after he accidentally leaked one of memo’s songs and it became an overnight, anonymous hit. he’s met with new friends in the marching band, but hits a wall when it comes to the mysterious, talented suwa. slowly, the boys get to know each other. but maybe they already know each other better than they think. what happens when they realize the truth?
beating heart baby felt like home from the first page.
on its first page it talks about the way languages change on the signs as you drive through LA. i’ve lived in this city for nearly my whole life. i know these streets well. the LA in beating heart baby is the one i love. but it was home in different ways, too.
it was a home found—a stranger on the internet who sees you, who gets you. someone across countries and oceans. someone who finds you. who saves you. who loves what you love, and just as deeply. who loves you. how lucky you are to have found them among all the people on earth.
how lucky you are to lose them and find them again.
it’s finding your people—people Like You. whether that’s brown or queer or both. people who share your passion. people who need you like you need them because you’re all you got.
the story of beating heart baby spans years. i’ve discovered that i love when a book is able to give me a long, swooping narrative but still have the intimacy of one novel, and the slow burn that i love. and beating heart baby is very much a slow burn. full of twists and change that are impossible to talk about without getting into the details of the story.
but beating heart baby is about claiming the future you want. it’s working for the dream until you have it. it’s looking the dream in the eye and learning that you deserve it. it’s doing all you can to make sure you’re ready for it when the time comes.
it’s a love letter to music. to the words that speak to you, and also the words you speak—the story you hear, and the story you tell. the harmonies that became home. and the people that find you because they share that love. the absolute magic of making music together, of being parts of a whole.
this book hit me like an earworm—and not just because i read it on audio. but because after the book ended, i couldn’t get it out of my head. so i did what i sometimes do with my favorite songs—i hit repeat. i played it again. my first reread of the year: reading beating heart baby immediately after reading it the first time.
nowadays, cel and i read almost everything together. but it would be remiss to not mention how i read this book about two internet best friends with my own internet best friend. “the worst thing about music is that other people get to hear it.” but i’m so glad i listened with you.
March 19, 2023
with a coda by mitski, a diverse cast of lgbt+ friends, and a tender title like beating heart baby, of course this book is a winner.
it also feels like one of the gayest books i've ever read. it's about the soft boy romance between santi and suwa, two flawed, messy, traumatized, stylish kids. it's an angsty and passionate zoomer romcom which spans years. it's sweet and vibrant, full of friendship banter, slangy dialogue that jumps off the page, deep emotions and tight bonds, many mouthwatering descriptions of food from different cultures, and lots of music references. the whole experience feels very now and very alive.
"very gay baby drama lust desperation" is one of the notes i made about santi and suwa's relationship. when santi moves to LA and the two meet in band, they become instant rivals in an anime UST type way. as their relationship unfolds into a romance, it eventually gives way to
the book is punctuated both by and a halfway mark POV change, which i was not expecting!! i did enjoy understanding suwa better. his mean streak, his dark family trauma, his established trans identity and unapologetically bold moonflower energy are all a foil to santi, who is an absolute puppydog sweetheart baby gay sunshower. santi's voice seems younger than suwa's, though they are both in their late teens (and i did wonder whether this was intentional or if it was due to more of the author's own maturity leaking into suwa. like do teenagers' internal monologues really tend to casually reference the sword of damocles? even precocious queer teenagers?).
santi and suwa are both flawed and they both make stupid mistakes, but being a kid is all about learning and growing.
it warms my heart to read YA lit that is so deeply and vibrantly queer, and which is so clearly for the generation which is coming after mine. it's so much better than the lgbt+ fiction i grew up on. it feels more authentic, more right, brimming with real emotions and burning with gen z intensity. all the references and vibes are very much for the lgbt+ kids of right now, and i'm so happy this book exists for them.
lio min's acknowledgements really show how much of themselves they put in the book. the music, the food, the anime, the devoted friendships, the late night living and loving and connecting. the growing with the people you care about and choose to have close to you. min writes lushly, with so much detail, and i can feel how personal it all is for them.
as for the mitski coda, it's something she said at a show: "the worst thing about music is that other people get to hear it." this becomes a line in the fictional anime that suwa and santi both adore, and it's repeated throughout the book. and the book is very mitski, right down to the title. her lyrics share a particularly vulnerability with beating heart baby. the very queer desire to stand proud and simultaneous desperation to be seen and loved.
it also feels like one of the gayest books i've ever read. it's about the soft boy romance between santi and suwa, two flawed, messy, traumatized, stylish kids. it's an angsty and passionate zoomer romcom which spans years. it's sweet and vibrant, full of friendship banter, slangy dialogue that jumps off the page, deep emotions and tight bonds, many mouthwatering descriptions of food from different cultures, and lots of music references. the whole experience feels very now and very alive.
"very gay baby drama lust desperation" is one of the notes i made about santi and suwa's relationship. when santi moves to LA and the two meet in band, they become instant rivals in an anime UST type way. as their relationship unfolds into a romance, it eventually gives way to
the book is punctuated both by and a halfway mark POV change, which i was not expecting!! i did enjoy understanding suwa better. his mean streak, his dark family trauma, his established trans identity and unapologetically bold moonflower energy are all a foil to santi, who is an absolute puppydog sweetheart baby gay sunshower. santi's voice seems younger than suwa's, though they are both in their late teens (and i did wonder whether this was intentional or if it was due to more of the author's own maturity leaking into suwa. like do teenagers' internal monologues really tend to casually reference the sword of damocles? even precocious queer teenagers?).
santi and suwa are both flawed and they both make stupid mistakes, but being a kid is all about learning and growing.
it warms my heart to read YA lit that is so deeply and vibrantly queer, and which is so clearly for the generation which is coming after mine. it's so much better than the lgbt+ fiction i grew up on. it feels more authentic, more right, brimming with real emotions and burning with gen z intensity. all the references and vibes are very much for the lgbt+ kids of right now, and i'm so happy this book exists for them.
lio min's acknowledgements really show how much of themselves they put in the book. the music, the food, the anime, the devoted friendships, the late night living and loving and connecting. the growing with the people you care about and choose to have close to you. min writes lushly, with so much detail, and i can feel how personal it all is for them.
as for the mitski coda, it's something she said at a show: "the worst thing about music is that other people get to hear it." this becomes a line in the fictional anime that suwa and santi both adore, and it's repeated throughout the book. and the book is very mitski, right down to the title. her lyrics share a particularly vulnerability with beating heart baby. the very queer desire to stand proud and simultaneous desperation to be seen and loved.
May 26, 2023
“But, I don’t know, maybe for us, first love can last forever.”
August 11, 2022
4.5 stars rounded up. Thrumming with poetic prose and colored with the vibrancy anime is known for, Beating Heart Baby feels like it was written specifically for sixteen-year old me.
December 14, 2023
reread 2023
WAAAAAAHHHHHHH
WAAAAAAHHHHHHH
February 28, 2022
Thank you to the publisher for an eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
OH my fucking god. I haven't had a book destroy me like this since Man O'War!! Y'all this book was everything. The angst, the baby gays, the pining. I LOVED ALL OF IT. Honestly, I am just a puddle of screams/cries because that is what this book has done to me. Seriously, you are going to want to read this.
Longer RTC when I feel more coherent. But this book hurt me and I am NOT okay!
Biracial Filipino adopted pansexual cis male MC, Korean-Japanese achillean trans male MC, Black lesbian cis female side character, queer nonbinary side character, queer and BIPOC side characters.
CWs: Abandonment, child abuse, emotional abuse, transphobia/transmisia, panic attacks, mental illness (PTSD, anxiety). Moderate: past death of parent(s), grief, body shaming, bullying, drug use, smoking, homophobia/homomisia, pressure to come out as trans, racism, past mentions of suicidal thoughts, violence.
OH my fucking god. I haven't had a book destroy me like this since Man O'War!! Y'all this book was everything. The angst, the baby gays, the pining. I LOVED ALL OF IT. Honestly, I am just a puddle of screams/cries because that is what this book has done to me. Seriously, you are going to want to read this.
Longer RTC when I feel more coherent. But this book hurt me and I am NOT okay!
Biracial Filipino adopted pansexual cis male MC, Korean-Japanese achillean trans male MC, Black lesbian cis female side character, queer nonbinary side character, queer and BIPOC side characters.
CWs: Abandonment, child abuse, emotional abuse, transphobia/transmisia, panic attacks, mental illness (PTSD, anxiety). Moderate: past death of parent(s), grief, body shaming, bullying, drug use, smoking, homophobia/homomisia, pressure to come out as trans, racism, past mentions of suicidal thoughts, violence.
April 22, 2024
Reread April 2024 : After all this time, it's safe to say that Beating Heart Baby still has my whole heart and even my soul. Words are not enough to express how much I love this story and these characters.
And if this reread has brought some (happy) tears to my eyes (despite being a reread and knowing how everything goes)... Well... That just proves how fantastic it is.
5 stars still don't seem enough...
----
5 stars don’t seem enough…
This is one of those books that just speaks to my soul… One of those stories that brings all the feels and just makes me want to write essays or poetry or both…
Anyway, proper review will come soon…
And if this reread has brought some (happy) tears to my eyes (despite being a reread and knowing how everything goes)... Well... That just proves how fantastic it is.
5 stars still don't seem enough...
----
5 stars don’t seem enough…
This is one of those books that just speaks to my soul… One of those stories that brings all the feels and just makes me want to write essays or poetry or both…
Anyway, proper review will come soon…
December 1, 2024
✰ 2.5 stars ✰
“Be good to those who open the door for you and those who knock on yours.”
As much as I had hoped that Beating Heart Baby would make my heart beat with fondness and tenderness, there were a few inconveniences that made it difficult for me to appreciate it more. Perhaps most of my grievances are personal ones, but the writing tone itself, also lent a hand in making it a less enjoyable read.
I didn't like how the perspectives switched sides after the expected and unavoidable fall-out. I know it was intentional to keep the suspense, but to throw in then even a time jump, where there is no spoken resolution to the argument made me feel lost in their relationship development, as well. 😮💨 A dual POV would have worked much better, imo; in fact, even if it was a third person perspective, I think it would have been great, too, for the writing in the Coda was very smooth for me.
“Like, you can love someone and want the world for them, but also hurt them because of how close you are, bodies and hearts so entwined together that every sudden movement leaves a bruise.”
As a second chance romance, I expected a little more -- not heartache, but a little more arguing for forgiveness and a bit of a challenge in redeeming or even taking another chance. Suwa agreed too readily to accept that he was in the wrong, rather than allowing Santi to see that there was work to be done on both sides. I mean, I did not mind that the attraction was very much still existing between the two, but then the separation seemed all for naught. I could not feel it.
Now, I rarely complain about the length of a book, but gosh, this one felt like it did not want to end. Every instance where I felt there was closure and commitment, if not a final feeling to it, there seemed to be just one more thing that needed to be done, even though it felt like it really had covered everything. 😩 The pacing was not working for me; Side A had a more of a focused feel, whereas Side B was not able to figure out when to wrap it up. I felt weary, expecting less, but getting more than what felt necessary. 😕
“So own it. Claim your identity and your community. Your history, your past, and your vision of the future.”
There were some worthy mentions of appeal. Mugen Glider and Exit Music were both a beautiful touch in expressing oneself. It was an effective, if not sincere way that led to an even deeper and intimate bond between Santi and Suwa. As much as Exit Music was the catalyst to drive them apart, it was also a way for Suwa to voice aloud how he was feeling inside. Their passion for Mugen Glider was a heartfelt connection that blended their artistic and creative talents and interests together, which I also thought was nicely portrayed. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I liked how Suwa was able to finally embrace himself openly - wholly and happily to the discerning public. The lyrics to his melodies echoed his haunting heartaches of being rejected by his family, with only his peers accepting him. The fear of coming out to his fans, afraid to be accepted for who he was. I don't know if I could really feel anything for Santi. 🫤 I mean, I liked how supportive and accepting he was of Suwa's dreams and aspirations, and how precious and sweet their time was together. But, once he discovered Suwa's connection to his past, he was so awash with fear, then rejection, and then a change of perspective that he was then left without any basis to him. Just that he grew and matured and lived without Suwa; and yet, once they reunited, everything just amazingly fell back together again.
I think that it was also just a little too wholesome for me; it is not the first time a Young Adult read has made me feel this way, so it's probably just a me thing. Not Suwa's own inner turmoil or Santi's woeful thoughts, but the friendships. Irony is that the band was called the Sunshines, but I was not warming up to the light. 'We’re forged by fire, Baby, but we’re also kinda intense because of what we went through.' 🫂 The friends never really made an impact on me; they flitted in and out, offered their two cents and disappeared into the void. It was all so rapid, that I just couldn't vibe with it. It lacked presence and emphasis for me that I could not quite care enough for it. Santi and Suwa's family members on the other hand were well-developed and shared moments with the both of them respectively that I felt their bond and their trust. 😞
So it is kind of a topsy-turvy read; parts I understand why it was depicted as such, others I wish could have made much more of an impact. Maybe I just wasn't able to truly understand what it was aiming to portray. Or maybe it was just too soft and tender at times, when I wanted a little more angst to it, to feel like the redeeming parts felt earned. Or maybe it's just me..... 😔
“Be good to those who open the door for you and those who knock on yours.”
As much as I had hoped that Beating Heart Baby would make my heart beat with fondness and tenderness, there were a few inconveniences that made it difficult for me to appreciate it more. Perhaps most of my grievances are personal ones, but the writing tone itself, also lent a hand in making it a less enjoyable read.
I didn't like how the perspectives switched sides after the expected and unavoidable fall-out. I know it was intentional to keep the suspense, but to throw in then even a time jump, where there is no spoken resolution to the argument made me feel lost in their relationship development, as well. 😮💨 A dual POV would have worked much better, imo; in fact, even if it was a third person perspective, I think it would have been great, too, for the writing in the Coda was very smooth for me.
“Like, you can love someone and want the world for them, but also hurt them because of how close you are, bodies and hearts so entwined together that every sudden movement leaves a bruise.”
As a second chance romance, I expected a little more -- not heartache, but a little more arguing for forgiveness and a bit of a challenge in redeeming or even taking another chance. Suwa agreed too readily to accept that he was in the wrong, rather than allowing Santi to see that there was work to be done on both sides. I mean, I did not mind that the attraction was very much still existing between the two, but then the separation seemed all for naught. I could not feel it.
Now, I rarely complain about the length of a book, but gosh, this one felt like it did not want to end. Every instance where I felt there was closure and commitment, if not a final feeling to it, there seemed to be just one more thing that needed to be done, even though it felt like it really had covered everything. 😩 The pacing was not working for me; Side A had a more of a focused feel, whereas Side B was not able to figure out when to wrap it up. I felt weary, expecting less, but getting more than what felt necessary. 😕
“So own it. Claim your identity and your community. Your history, your past, and your vision of the future.”
There were some worthy mentions of appeal. Mugen Glider and Exit Music were both a beautiful touch in expressing oneself. It was an effective, if not sincere way that led to an even deeper and intimate bond between Santi and Suwa. As much as Exit Music was the catalyst to drive them apart, it was also a way for Suwa to voice aloud how he was feeling inside. Their passion for Mugen Glider was a heartfelt connection that blended their artistic and creative talents and interests together, which I also thought was nicely portrayed. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I liked how Suwa was able to finally embrace himself openly - wholly and happily to the discerning public. The lyrics to his melodies echoed his haunting heartaches of being rejected by his family, with only his peers accepting him. The fear of coming out to his fans, afraid to be accepted for who he was. I don't know if I could really feel anything for Santi. 🫤 I mean, I liked how supportive and accepting he was of Suwa's dreams and aspirations, and how precious and sweet their time was together. But, once he discovered Suwa's connection to his past, he was so awash with fear, then rejection, and then a change of perspective that he was then left without any basis to him. Just that he grew and matured and lived without Suwa; and yet, once they reunited, everything just amazingly fell back together again.
I think that it was also just a little too wholesome for me; it is not the first time a Young Adult read has made me feel this way, so it's probably just a me thing. Not Suwa's own inner turmoil or Santi's woeful thoughts, but the friendships. Irony is that the band was called the Sunshines, but I was not warming up to the light. 'We’re forged by fire, Baby, but we’re also kinda intense because of what we went through.' 🫂 The friends never really made an impact on me; they flitted in and out, offered their two cents and disappeared into the void. It was all so rapid, that I just couldn't vibe with it. It lacked presence and emphasis for me that I could not quite care enough for it. Santi and Suwa's family members on the other hand were well-developed and shared moments with the both of them respectively that I felt their bond and their trust. 😞
So it is kind of a topsy-turvy read; parts I understand why it was depicted as such, others I wish could have made much more of an impact. Maybe I just wasn't able to truly understand what it was aiming to portray. Or maybe it was just too soft and tender at times, when I wanted a little more angst to it, to feel like the redeeming parts felt earned. Or maybe it's just me..... 😔
October 9, 2023
"Us": a universe in a word.
Beating Heart Baby took me by surprise. Even with all my mutuals raving about how much this book means to them, begging everyone they know to read it, I was surprised. Because I'm not an anime fan. I was never in band, and I'm not even that knowledgeable about music as a listener. But even without that material connection, there's something special about this book that talking about it can't come close to conveying — though I will try my hardest.
This book is special because we fall in love with the characters. With Santi: we see this boy who has lost so much, who yearns to be understood, and we want to give him what he misses, we want to understand him. With Suwa: we see a trans boy who's been abused for who he is, who just wants to be loved and live and be the writer of his dreams, and we want to give him a hand up, we want to tell him he is loved and lives and that he already writes his own future.
With every person who becomes a part of their families, in every way or form that they exist together.
And with every moment we see ourselves reflected back on the page.
The prose in BHB was beautiful, and so tender. It doesn't just exist; it lives off the page. I annotated this book as a part of my annotation chain with Meilin, Naomi, and Jenn, and what an experience. Not only did I respond to Naomi's annotations in the margins, but I knew that by writing down my thoughts and reactions, I was setting myself up to read it alongside everyone who reads this copy after me. When Meilin reads this copy next, they'll live through it with me and Naomi, and when Jenn reads it after that, they'll enter this story with the three of us by their side.
This is a book that feels like family. Like the type of groundbreaking honesty you only get from people who truly see you, who know you better than yourself.
BHB was surprising not because I didn't expect to like it, but because it felt so central to who I am. So much of it spoke to me. It made me a part of the creativity, of this found family, of the emotion (or if you will allow me: emo ocean) integrated in this story.
I want this book to exist loudly. I want us to exist loudly. I want more people to read this so they hear Suwa's songs, so they see Santi's art — so they feel heard and seen and understand that they are loved, and that they deserve their dreams.
Trigger Warnings: transphobia, child abuse, deadnaming, emotional abuse, bullying (recounted), attempted sexual assault, homophobia, death of parents
April 19, 2022
Well…
its 5:42 in the morning and once again I have made Poor Choices about Finishing Books,
and once again I Have Zero Regrets
Particularly much this time because this book I grabbed on NetGalley (thanks for the advance copy NetGalley)
Because the cover was Pretty
Has ruined my heart
My very thorough review:
If you like Mitski
And you’re gay
(and you already admitted you like Mitski, so…)
You will like this book a lot
A slightly more thorough review:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
(I’ll post something more concrete when I push through a NetGalley review but I couldn’t sleep
without screaming a little)
_____________________________
EDIT 4/18: Ok it took a lil while but here's a more traditional review:
I got this book because the cover was pretty. I didn't have any particular expectations. What I got, instead, was my favorite realistic queer YA since Radio Silence. The characters! The music! The romance!
Every one of the main and secondary characters in this book is a gem, even when they're imperfect humans. When they make bad or short-sighted decisions, it makes sense with what's shown of their life and experiences. No one in this book is perfect (well, except for maybe the marching band director, he's a perfect cinnamon roll who wants the best for all of his teenagers), and a lot of them have various kinds of trauma, but they all try.
Particularly excellent in the book is really straightforward, unshy (although not particularly graphic) depictions of the way getting intimate can be a moment of serious vulnerability for a trans person-- and also the ways a supportive partner can handle that. There's also a scene where two young adults are intending to hook up, then mutually decide the vibe isn't right and they just hang out. I've seen more of that in YA lately, but it's always good to see more!
It didn't surprise me at all to find out Lio Min was a music journalist-- the writing about music in this book is excellent. I want to hear every song described, I want to be at every concert, I want to be on the marching band field playing a sousaphone.
Maybe my favorite book of the year so far, definitely my favorite YA. Give this one a try!!!!
April 26, 2023
you ever read something that feels so genuinely, deeply, earnestly from the heart that you breeze through it in two days? yeah. this is that: a beautiful sweeping love letter to indie music, anime, internet friendships, high school marching band, and los angeles -- all wrapped up in a gay coming of age enemies-to-lovers (then back-to-enemies-to-lovers) romance.
yeah, the "twist" halfway thru could be seen a mile away. did it affect the overall impact of the book? not at all. and the later chapters back this up by affirming that the twist was kind of known by everyone involved.... the important part is how the twist is resolved.
i love love love when i read a good YA book because it reminds me why i fell in love with reading in the first place.
ALSO I LOVE A GREAT LAST LINE AND THIS HAD A GREAT LAST LINE
yeah, the "twist" halfway thru could be seen a mile away. did it affect the overall impact of the book? not at all. and the later chapters back this up by affirming that the twist was kind of known by everyone involved.... the important part is how the twist is resolved.
i love love love when i read a good YA book because it reminds me why i fell in love with reading in the first place.
ALSO I LOVE A GREAT LAST LINE AND THIS HAD A GREAT LAST LINE
July 12, 2024
Solid solid. I was really invested in this story so it flew by fast. I was expecting it to be mid and it was not, so pleasantly surprised.
June 24, 2022
A warm story of first love and a group of queer teens finding their home in a high school marching band. Beating Heart Baby follows two boys, Santi and Suwa, from finding each other online to colliding at high school as they navigate through friendships, love and staying true to oneself. I really liked that the book was divided into two sides—one with Santi's POV and his struggles with truly connecting with people around him and the other with Suwa's POV and his journey as a trans boy making music. The LGBTQ+ community that forms their friends was so heartwarming to read about. All of that combined with references to anime and indie music and how the main characters incorporated aspects from them in their own lives made this book so much more heart felt.
My complaint with the book would be that the switch in POVs and a time jump right after the confrontations threw me off a bit. I actually wanted to continue reading about their high school experience (not that I mind the musical career bits). The writing felt somewhat stagnant at times too but I truly think the characters drive the story forward really well.
This book realistically queer YA that is equally messy and emotional. It's about music, chasing your dreams, found family, sustaining love and embracing yourself. I'd definitely recommend it if you're looking to read about anything along those lines!
thank you Flatiron Books for the ARC!
My complaint with the book would be that the switch in POVs and a time jump right after the confrontations threw me off a bit. I actually wanted to continue reading about their high school experience (not that I mind the musical career bits). The writing felt somewhat stagnant at times too but I truly think the characters drive the story forward really well.
This book realistically queer YA that is equally messy and emotional. It's about music, chasing your dreams, found family, sustaining love and embracing yourself. I'd definitely recommend it if you're looking to read about anything along those lines!
thank you Flatiron Books for the ARC!
January 29, 2022
Elicits the full spectrum of emotions - I guffawed, I wept, I cheered. The characters and their lives/surroundings are so beautifully fleshed out. Tackles difficult themes with a directness that is uncommon but oh so welcome in young adult fiction. Sunshowers forever!!
May 6, 2022
Many thanks for the ARC, which was provided by Flatiron in exchange for an honest review.
This is really a lovely book. This book, it seems to me, is clearly a book of the author's heart. Beating Heart Baby is a love letter to indie music, anime, and the city of Los Angeles, wrapped in a poignant exploration of family, first love, and identity.
Beating Heart Baby is told by two first person protagonists, Santi and Suwa, who connect on the internet as adolescents, have a falling out when Santi inadvertently leaks a song that Suwa has shared with Santi, and, unbeknownst to each other, reconnect several years later in their final years of high school, when Santi moves to LA with his guardian.
This setup, that the pair are in fact long lost internet friends, that is revealed to the reader in the blurb, and we spend much of the first half waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering what the fallout will be when they finally figure out that their connection goes back further than either of them had ever imagined. Suwa and Santi had bonded with each other at times in their lives when they were both particularly vulnerable and lonely, and had been, for a time, an important lifeline for each other. The falling out hurt both of them deeply, and when they finally reconnect, they both in a better place, but neither of them have fully dealt with their pasts. The tension builds in the first half to a reckoning in the second half as we deal with the fallout of the long awaited reveal and switch from Santi's POV to Suwa's.
This reckoning means not only grappling with their relationship and what it means to both of them, but also with their own personal struggles with family and identity. In the years since their online friendship, Suwa has transitioned, a process that was complicated by the abusive reaction from his family. Suwa's identity as a young trans man is handled carefully and thoughtfully, and Min shows a tremendous amount of compassion for their young protagonist. Suwa is not always likeable, but he is always sympathetic, and it is clear that even at his worst, he is young man with a deep well of love in his heart for the people who have stood by him. He is passionate about music and alternately driven by ambition and terrified of realizing his dreams.
Min's sensitive approach to Suwa's gender gives the reader the sense that there are certain things that readers, as outsiders, are not owed when it comes to trans identities and bodies. For example, when a character who knew Suwa pre-transition calls out Suwa's deadname, the word is redacted in the text with a black box, as if the first person narration of Santi knows that this knowledge is not his to share with the reader. This is echoed in the fade to black sex scenes, which, while not atypical for a YA novel, also seem to grant Suwa a measure of privacy when told from Santi's point of view. Suwa is slightly more forthcoming in his own narrative, but only slightly, mentioning what an act of trust it is to take off his binder for Santi, for instance, but stopping short of describing any body parts or acts. Suwa is here to tell his story, but the reader must respect certain boundaries. Following along with this idea there also a bit of a meta narrative about how Suwa is pressured by the industry to come out in order to make him more interesting and marketable, which at odds with Suwa's own ambivalence about coming out. When Suwa releases his first EP and many fans find hints and subtext about his gender, Suwa is, while sympathetic to young fans who want to see themselves reflected in him, still slightly uncomfortable with the album he wrote as a breakup album becoming an album about being trans.
In many ways Suwa's conflict reflects current conversations around rainbow capitalism. Min asks us to consider #ownvoices as a marketing tool, the pressure on young artists to out themselves in order to claim authenticity, and the mixed feelings of many marginalized creators who recognize the importance of representation but who also just want to create without always having to center gender/sexuality/race. As Suwa argues, can't a trans man just write a breakup album? His mentor (who is a Black lesbian superstar), counters by asking him, did transness not factor into your relationship and breakup at all? Can you really separate the two? Beating Heart Baby doesn't settle this question, but asks it, and asks the reader to reflect upon it just as Suwa does. As for Suwa coming out as trans, Min allows Suwa to realize that he should come out when he feels ready and on his own terms, and not due to any outside pressure nor even to sense of obligation to the lgbtq community.
The other protagonist, Santi, struggles with finding his purpose and making true connections, having moved around a lot through childhood following the death of his mother in a car accident. When he moves to LA and falls in with Suwa and his group of friends, he feels like he has finally found everything he has ever wanted. The only problem is that his new friend group will soon graduate and disperse, and Santi despairs that he has found friendship and love only to lose it all too soon. I think many of those reading this book will relate to the feeling of latching onto another person and finding purpose in that relationship, and ultimately realizing that's not actually great for you or for the relationship.
Both main characters are Asian-American, with Suwa having a Korean father and a Japanese mother, and Santi being half Filipino. The book is full of references to favorite foods, to the Koreatown neighborhood of LA where Suwa grew up, and even to the historical conflict between Japan and Korea that made Suwa's grandparents disapprove of his parents' marriage. This detail struck me in particular because it's not something that someone without first hand experience with these cultures would have thought to include, but having had a similar experience myself, it rings extremely true. The way Suwa's family reacts to his transition is also rooted in his parents' cultures, and it is refreshing to see trans representation viewed through an Asian lens rather than a white one.
There is a large cast of side characters who all help to bring the world to life. I think the adult characters are actually the fullest-- Santi's guardian, Aya, the marching band director, Cap, and the haunted and tragic figure that is Suwa's father. The relationship between Suwa and his father is particularly compelling, simultaneously heartbreaking, complex, and infinitely nuanced. Min's sensitive treatment of that relationship avoids strict either or moralizing of a child's decision to keep or not keep contact with a parent who has been abusive in the past. Suwa's relationship with his father is still, by the end of the book, largely unresolved, and there is neither a triumphant cutting of contact nor a joyful reconciliation. Whatever hope there is for a parent child relationship between the two of the is at best tenuous and tentative,
The prose of Beating Heart Baby is accessible and at times quite beautiful, and the the first person voices of the two protagonists are distinct. Santiago is a bit awkward and a bit impulsive, which leads to a lot of uncertain self-talk, which is endearing without being irritating, whereas Suwa is more introspective and poetic, Suwa narrates the second half of the book, and when we finally entered his head, I was surprised by the degree of self awareness he has regarding his actions, even thought here are hints of this in Santi's half of the book..
Beating Heart Baby is peppered with references to anime and indie rock that feel timeless and genuine (even when they are made up) rather than self conscious or name-droppy. Perhaps the cleverest reference combines both anime and indie rock in the form of the made-up anime, Mugen Glider, the "fandom" which brings the protagonists together in the first place. Mugen Glider in fact a song by the Japanese rock band Asian Kung Fu Generation, and when the characters quote the "anime" Mugen Glider, they are in fact quoting lyrics from the Japanese-American singer-songwriter, Mitski. These sorts of references are a subtle homage to the source material, rather than an obvious wink-and-nudge.
Overall, Beating Heart Baby is an excellent YA novel debut from an author who is already a seasoned music journalist, and I hope we see more from Min in the future. It is sensitive, smart, poignant and timely. Regardless of our the ways our identities may or may not intersect with those of the protagonists, anyone who has ever been a sad teenager who found an outlet in music, or a lonely teenager who fell in love too hard and too fast, will find something resonant in Beating Heart Baby.
This is really a lovely book. This book, it seems to me, is clearly a book of the author's heart. Beating Heart Baby is a love letter to indie music, anime, and the city of Los Angeles, wrapped in a poignant exploration of family, first love, and identity.
Beating Heart Baby is told by two first person protagonists, Santi and Suwa, who connect on the internet as adolescents, have a falling out when Santi inadvertently leaks a song that Suwa has shared with Santi, and, unbeknownst to each other, reconnect several years later in their final years of high school, when Santi moves to LA with his guardian.
This setup, that the pair are in fact long lost internet friends, that is revealed to the reader in the blurb, and we spend much of the first half waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering what the fallout will be when they finally figure out that their connection goes back further than either of them had ever imagined. Suwa and Santi had bonded with each other at times in their lives when they were both particularly vulnerable and lonely, and had been, for a time, an important lifeline for each other. The falling out hurt both of them deeply, and when they finally reconnect, they both in a better place, but neither of them have fully dealt with their pasts. The tension builds in the first half to a reckoning in the second half as we deal with the fallout of the long awaited reveal and switch from Santi's POV to Suwa's.
This reckoning means not only grappling with their relationship and what it means to both of them, but also with their own personal struggles with family and identity. In the years since their online friendship, Suwa has transitioned, a process that was complicated by the abusive reaction from his family. Suwa's identity as a young trans man is handled carefully and thoughtfully, and Min shows a tremendous amount of compassion for their young protagonist. Suwa is not always likeable, but he is always sympathetic, and it is clear that even at his worst, he is young man with a deep well of love in his heart for the people who have stood by him. He is passionate about music and alternately driven by ambition and terrified of realizing his dreams.
Min's sensitive approach to Suwa's gender gives the reader the sense that there are certain things that readers, as outsiders, are not owed when it comes to trans identities and bodies. For example, when a character who knew Suwa pre-transition calls out Suwa's deadname, the word is redacted in the text with a black box, as if the first person narration of Santi knows that this knowledge is not his to share with the reader. This is echoed in the fade to black sex scenes, which, while not atypical for a YA novel, also seem to grant Suwa a measure of privacy when told from Santi's point of view. Suwa is slightly more forthcoming in his own narrative, but only slightly, mentioning what an act of trust it is to take off his binder for Santi, for instance, but stopping short of describing any body parts or acts. Suwa is here to tell his story, but the reader must respect certain boundaries. Following along with this idea there also a bit of a meta narrative about how Suwa is pressured by the industry to come out in order to make him more interesting and marketable, which at odds with Suwa's own ambivalence about coming out. When Suwa releases his first EP and many fans find hints and subtext about his gender, Suwa is, while sympathetic to young fans who want to see themselves reflected in him, still slightly uncomfortable with the album he wrote as a breakup album becoming an album about being trans.
In many ways Suwa's conflict reflects current conversations around rainbow capitalism. Min asks us to consider #ownvoices as a marketing tool, the pressure on young artists to out themselves in order to claim authenticity, and the mixed feelings of many marginalized creators who recognize the importance of representation but who also just want to create without always having to center gender/sexuality/race. As Suwa argues, can't a trans man just write a breakup album? His mentor (who is a Black lesbian superstar), counters by asking him, did transness not factor into your relationship and breakup at all? Can you really separate the two? Beating Heart Baby doesn't settle this question, but asks it, and asks the reader to reflect upon it just as Suwa does. As for Suwa coming out as trans, Min allows Suwa to realize that he should come out when he feels ready and on his own terms, and not due to any outside pressure nor even to sense of obligation to the lgbtq community.
The other protagonist, Santi, struggles with finding his purpose and making true connections, having moved around a lot through childhood following the death of his mother in a car accident. When he moves to LA and falls in with Suwa and his group of friends, he feels like he has finally found everything he has ever wanted. The only problem is that his new friend group will soon graduate and disperse, and Santi despairs that he has found friendship and love only to lose it all too soon. I think many of those reading this book will relate to the feeling of latching onto another person and finding purpose in that relationship, and ultimately realizing that's not actually great for you or for the relationship.
Both main characters are Asian-American, with Suwa having a Korean father and a Japanese mother, and Santi being half Filipino. The book is full of references to favorite foods, to the Koreatown neighborhood of LA where Suwa grew up, and even to the historical conflict between Japan and Korea that made Suwa's grandparents disapprove of his parents' marriage. This detail struck me in particular because it's not something that someone without first hand experience with these cultures would have thought to include, but having had a similar experience myself, it rings extremely true. The way Suwa's family reacts to his transition is also rooted in his parents' cultures, and it is refreshing to see trans representation viewed through an Asian lens rather than a white one.
There is a large cast of side characters who all help to bring the world to life. I think the adult characters are actually the fullest-- Santi's guardian, Aya, the marching band director, Cap, and the haunted and tragic figure that is Suwa's father. The relationship between Suwa and his father is particularly compelling, simultaneously heartbreaking, complex, and infinitely nuanced. Min's sensitive treatment of that relationship avoids strict either or moralizing of a child's decision to keep or not keep contact with a parent who has been abusive in the past. Suwa's relationship with his father is still, by the end of the book, largely unresolved, and there is neither a triumphant cutting of contact nor a joyful reconciliation. Whatever hope there is for a parent child relationship between the two of the is at best tenuous and tentative,
The prose of Beating Heart Baby is accessible and at times quite beautiful, and the the first person voices of the two protagonists are distinct. Santiago is a bit awkward and a bit impulsive, which leads to a lot of uncertain self-talk, which is endearing without being irritating, whereas Suwa is more introspective and poetic, Suwa narrates the second half of the book, and when we finally entered his head, I was surprised by the degree of self awareness he has regarding his actions, even thought here are hints of this in Santi's half of the book..
Beating Heart Baby is peppered with references to anime and indie rock that feel timeless and genuine (even when they are made up) rather than self conscious or name-droppy. Perhaps the cleverest reference combines both anime and indie rock in the form of the made-up anime, Mugen Glider, the "fandom" which brings the protagonists together in the first place. Mugen Glider in fact a song by the Japanese rock band Asian Kung Fu Generation, and when the characters quote the "anime" Mugen Glider, they are in fact quoting lyrics from the Japanese-American singer-songwriter, Mitski. These sorts of references are a subtle homage to the source material, rather than an obvious wink-and-nudge.
Overall, Beating Heart Baby is an excellent YA novel debut from an author who is already a seasoned music journalist, and I hope we see more from Min in the future. It is sensitive, smart, poignant and timely. Regardless of our the ways our identities may or may not intersect with those of the protagonists, anyone who has ever been a sad teenager who found an outlet in music, or a lonely teenager who fell in love too hard and too fast, will find something resonant in Beating Heart Baby.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 19, 2022
2.5 rounded down (although I guess it could also be rounded up).
Lio Min's Beating Heart Baby is the story of two boys: Santi, who is given the opportunity to participate in his new high school's marching band as a way to keep him on the straight and narrow; and Suwa, who is the star of the marching band and wants nothing more than to become a professional musician. Little do they know when they meet that they have a history together - and, maybe, a future.
So I feel like I'm missing something here. Beating Heart Baby should be right up my alley; it's full of some of my favorite tropes: found family, grumpy/sunshine, internet friendships turned real life, family drama, and gender drama (Santi is a cis gay male; Suwa is a gay transgender male (AFAB), to name a few. But I find that it falls flat in some pretty critical ways.
In my eyes, the issue with this book is two-fold. First, the structure is problematic. Music being extremely important in this book, it's divided into two "sides": the A-side takes place in high school and from Santi's point of view; the B-side takes place a year and a half later, after everyone is out of high school (more or less), from Suwa's perspective. I enjoyed the A-side with Santi, but the second we switched to Suwa I lost all interest in the book. I wanted a high-school story, not one that took place half in high school and half 1.5 years (and no personal change) later.
Second, and this is related to the first: I really, really, REALLY dislike Suwa. I realize that his likeability (or lack thereof) is kind of the point. He's been through a lot in his short life; his gender-related struggles - which realistically tie into every other facet of his life - are all encompassing; and dude needs therapy, stat. The thing is, he essentially wrecks Santi's life two different times, says "sorry" once, and... that's it. It's fine to be a wrecking ball in your own life, but I struggle greatly with a character who finds it necessary to demolish everyone else in their path. That being said, again, if we're to analyze the reasoning for his actions, it's because he's got serious problems and needs help. That's really all there is to it. This may be very realistic and people may be drawn to this type of character and the drama that surrounds them, but I don't find it interesting or entertaining to read about a car crash in motion.
I realize that I'm being pretty harsh here. This really isn't THAT bad of a book. Well, sort of. Suwa's section (the "B-side") is full of painful introspection and overwrought descriptions, which I guess fit his character, but my god, it's so pretentious and obnoxious. But again, that's just my opinion.
I don't know. I think I should label this a "not for me" book and leave it at that. When the book hits, it hits very, very strong; I appreciate everything related to Suwa's struggles with his gender identity and the focus on queer kinship and constructing new forms of family. But when it doesn't hit - such as certain stylistic choices or bizarre attitudes towards forgiveness - I find it really, really bad. That being said, I do recommend this book, and I hope that one of my friends reads it sometime soon so I can talk about it with someone else.
Lio Min's Beating Heart Baby is the story of two boys: Santi, who is given the opportunity to participate in his new high school's marching band as a way to keep him on the straight and narrow; and Suwa, who is the star of the marching band and wants nothing more than to become a professional musician. Little do they know when they meet that they have a history together - and, maybe, a future.
So I feel like I'm missing something here. Beating Heart Baby should be right up my alley; it's full of some of my favorite tropes: found family, grumpy/sunshine, internet friendships turned real life, family drama, and gender drama (Santi is a cis gay male; Suwa is a gay transgender male (AFAB), to name a few. But I find that it falls flat in some pretty critical ways.
In my eyes, the issue with this book is two-fold. First, the structure is problematic. Music being extremely important in this book, it's divided into two "sides": the A-side takes place in high school and from Santi's point of view; the B-side takes place a year and a half later, after everyone is out of high school (more or less), from Suwa's perspective. I enjoyed the A-side with Santi, but the second we switched to Suwa I lost all interest in the book. I wanted a high-school story, not one that took place half in high school and half 1.5 years (and no personal change) later.
Second, and this is related to the first: I really, really, REALLY dislike Suwa. I realize that his likeability (or lack thereof) is kind of the point. He's been through a lot in his short life; his gender-related struggles - which realistically tie into every other facet of his life - are all encompassing; and dude needs therapy, stat. The thing is, he essentially wrecks Santi's life two different times, says "sorry" once, and... that's it. It's fine to be a wrecking ball in your own life, but I struggle greatly with a character who finds it necessary to demolish everyone else in their path. That being said, again, if we're to analyze the reasoning for his actions, it's because he's got serious problems and needs help. That's really all there is to it. This may be very realistic and people may be drawn to this type of character and the drama that surrounds them, but I don't find it interesting or entertaining to read about a car crash in motion.
I realize that I'm being pretty harsh here. This really isn't THAT bad of a book. Well, sort of. Suwa's section (the "B-side") is full of painful introspection and overwrought descriptions, which I guess fit his character, but my god, it's so pretentious and obnoxious. But again, that's just my opinion.
I don't know. I think I should label this a "not for me" book and leave it at that. When the book hits, it hits very, very strong; I appreciate everything related to Suwa's struggles with his gender identity and the focus on queer kinship and constructing new forms of family. But when it doesn't hit - such as certain stylistic choices or bizarre attitudes towards forgiveness - I find it really, really bad. That being said, I do recommend this book, and I hope that one of my friends reads it sometime soon so I can talk about it with someone else.
Read
January 27, 2023This story is told in two parts. The first half focuses on Santi, who is moving to L.A. for what might be his last chance at a fresh start after years on a downward spiral that started with the death of his mother and culminated in being ghosted by his best (and only) friend. The second half is told from the POV of Suwa, who is as desperate to follow his dreams as he is afraid to reach for them.
Beating Heart Baby is a story of love, community, trauma, art, and especially music and dreams. It’s the book that moved me the most out of everything I read in 2022, but despite bringing me to tears several times, this book left my heart feeling warm and full. While the characters are endearing, another highlight of the novel is Lio Min’s prose which beautifully expresses the characters' complex tangles of feelings. -Dominique A.
Beating Heart Baby is a story of love, community, trauma, art, and especially music and dreams. It’s the book that moved me the most out of everything I read in 2022, but despite bringing me to tears several times, this book left my heart feeling warm and full. While the characters are endearing, another highlight of the novel is Lio Min’s prose which beautifully expresses the characters' complex tangles of feelings. -Dominique A.
March 16, 2022
Rep: mlm, pansexual m, trans m, non-binary sc, sapphic sc, lesbian sc, Japanese-Korean MC, Black sc, Latinx sc
CW: transphobia, homophobia, deadnaming (name not shown), anxiety attack, underage drinking, smoking, mentions of past child abuse, death of a parent, body dysmorphia, racism, past forced outing, pressure to come out
CW: transphobia, homophobia, deadnaming (name not shown), anxiety attack, underage drinking, smoking, mentions of past child abuse, death of a parent, body dysmorphia, racism, past forced outing, pressure to come out
January 30, 2023
Wowowow. This YA/NA queer & trans romance is gorgeous & heartwrenching & a visceral love letter to LA (and music and anime and friendship but especially, imo, LA). Read it in almost one sitting. Santi <3
April 12, 2024
I panicked and made what I prayed would be a clean cut, to finally leave who I was behind, but my knife was dull, and my hand shook.
love a book that lets one of its leads be a legitimately bitter fucking pill!!!!! love a book set in the actual real-life la (the book opens with a scene about driving through the city and listening to the music change from reggaetón to kpop to top 40 to rancheras every couple of blocks and I'm like yeahhhhhhh let's fuckin go!!!!!!!!!!!)
unfortunately this book IS getting added to my indignant 'let main characters grovel again' pile; back half needed MORE angst, MORE groveling!!!! the first half was super tight but the second half lets up a little when I wanted it to go harder. there's this one particular moment that had me crying in the shower (yes I was so compelled that I took my phone in with me to continue listening to the audiobook lmao) and santi & suwa LAUGHED ABOUT IT ALL NONCHALANT???? follow through, min!!! don't pull your punches!!!
also I had to suspend a LOT of disbelief because a lot of the stuff that the band teacher did (good stuff! compassionate stuff! to be clear!) I was like oh man um you can't do these things as a teacher lol, de longpre is clearly intended to be an lausd school and I'm like WELL I GUESS IT'S FICTION FOR A REASON
regardless, this was extremely good ya and I have already recommended it to a bunch of the Queer Youth, because I feel like it would have meant a lot to me to have read it as a teen. hell, I'm an adult and it still meant a lot to me. full of wonderfully specific detail. living and breathing. swoony (again, especially in that first half)
(we're not gonna get too much into it right here right now but literally THE sole reason for which I have never/can never/will never m*d*c*lly tr*ns*t**n, and believe me I have put MANY hours into the consideration thereof, is because the loss/alteration (alteration would be a loss) of my singing voice would be too devastating for my sense of self and the things that I consider to make me me, so GOOD FOR SUWA, HAPPY FOR YOU, YOU ASSHOLE [said with real annoyance and also with LOVE])
July 13, 2022
-No set up to the book, just immediately threw me in and I was so lost
-Don’t like the writing style
-Why did he meet a guy, immediately clock him, and then later awkwardly rub make up off his face. Why are you touching strangers faces
-After his first day of band camp it just speeds up and covers several weeks in just a few paragraphs which made no sense. The whole plot of this story seems to be him starting at a new school why completely skip him starting at said new school
- So many names just thrown at the reader without getting to know the people behind it. Who are any of these characters hes apparently friends with
-I feel like the author is writing this believing all readers know how high school band works. I was never in band, what is going on
-I hate when books try to convey texting with lingo and typos
DNF 10%
I’m honestly so confused at all the reviews raving it, did we read the same book
-Don’t like the writing style
-Why did he meet a guy, immediately clock him, and then later awkwardly rub make up off his face. Why are you touching strangers faces
-After his first day of band camp it just speeds up and covers several weeks in just a few paragraphs which made no sense. The whole plot of this story seems to be him starting at a new school why completely skip him starting at said new school
- So many names just thrown at the reader without getting to know the people behind it. Who are any of these characters hes apparently friends with
-I feel like the author is writing this believing all readers know how high school band works. I was never in band, what is going on
-I hate when books try to convey texting with lingo and typos
DNF 10%
I’m honestly so confused at all the reviews raving it, did we read the same book
June 9, 2023
This is a beautiful, real and honest story that feels like a love letter to music, (online) friendships, queer found family, identity and discovering your sexuality and gender and so much more!! I absolutely loved reading this book and getting to know the characters. My only complaint is that I felt like the pacing was very off which made me sadly not give this 5 stars
January 23, 2022
A stunning debut, this book is THE book of 2022! This book made my heart ache in ways I may never recover from. I loved everything - the boy best friends, the family, the friends, the music, the food, the emo oceans. GREAT book!
July 29, 2022
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review! This didn't affect my rating in anyway!
Beating Heart Baby was an absolute stunner of a book. I'll admit that I was a little intimidated by the raving reviews I had glimpsed when the publisher approached me to consider this book for the book tour I'm writing this review for. I thought that surely, the reviews were over-emphasizing this book. But let me tell you right now, the reviews weren't lying. This book is beautiful and powerful and will most likely pull at your heartstrings a few times.
The book is separated into three parts--almost like a before, during, and after type of situation. One part is told by Santi, a tall and quiet teenage boy who is still recovering from the mistakes of his past that cost him his best friendship. The second part focuses on Suwa, a trans-teenage boy who is going through his own path of growth and understanding, but also grief over how his life has gotten to the point it has in that second part of the book. And the third is a secret because YOU NEED to read this book.
I loved the support of the friendships and the diverse nature of the world Santi moves to in the first half of the book. I immediately connected with the characters and I wanted them to succeed and know the love they deserved. I was a little hesitant when the story turned to Suwa's perspective but I grew to understand why we needed it in the first place so we can fully understand the actions of both of these teenagers. And honestly, that's one of the things that I always struggle to remember and I know I need to get better with it: that teenagers will not think the way I do, even fictional ones. So, seeing Suwa make some of the decisions he does helped me let go of that judgment I've always held because his POV helped me understand.
BHB deals with some extremely heavy topics and because the novels follows the characters into their young adulthood years, I'd almost call this more of a younger new adult novel. The topics of suicide, anxiety, depression, transphobia, homophobia, physical and verbal abuse, dead-naming, self-destructive behaviour, and grief are heavy in this book. They're incredibly important, however, and the way the support system worked with the friends, I felt like everything was handled so heartbreakingly beautifully.
If you're looking for a book full of heart and the possibility of tears while reading, then I can't recommend this enough. I hope this book doesn't fly under the radar like some of my other favourite LGBTQ+ books because this is a book that deserves to be read and pondered over.
Happy reading!
Beating Heart Baby was an absolute stunner of a book. I'll admit that I was a little intimidated by the raving reviews I had glimpsed when the publisher approached me to consider this book for the book tour I'm writing this review for. I thought that surely, the reviews were over-emphasizing this book. But let me tell you right now, the reviews weren't lying. This book is beautiful and powerful and will most likely pull at your heartstrings a few times.
The book is separated into three parts--almost like a before, during, and after type of situation. One part is told by Santi, a tall and quiet teenage boy who is still recovering from the mistakes of his past that cost him his best friendship. The second part focuses on Suwa, a trans-teenage boy who is going through his own path of growth and understanding, but also grief over how his life has gotten to the point it has in that second part of the book. And the third is a secret because YOU NEED to read this book.
I loved the support of the friendships and the diverse nature of the world Santi moves to in the first half of the book. I immediately connected with the characters and I wanted them to succeed and know the love they deserved. I was a little hesitant when the story turned to Suwa's perspective but I grew to understand why we needed it in the first place so we can fully understand the actions of both of these teenagers. And honestly, that's one of the things that I always struggle to remember and I know I need to get better with it: that teenagers will not think the way I do, even fictional ones. So, seeing Suwa make some of the decisions he does helped me let go of that judgment I've always held because his POV helped me understand.
BHB deals with some extremely heavy topics and because the novels follows the characters into their young adulthood years, I'd almost call this more of a younger new adult novel. The topics of suicide, anxiety, depression, transphobia, homophobia, physical and verbal abuse, dead-naming, self-destructive behaviour, and grief are heavy in this book. They're incredibly important, however, and the way the support system worked with the friends, I felt like everything was handled so heartbreakingly beautifully.
If you're looking for a book full of heart and the possibility of tears while reading, then I can't recommend this enough. I hope this book doesn't fly under the radar like some of my other favourite LGBTQ+ books because this is a book that deserves to be read and pondered over.
Happy reading!
February 18, 2023
Man, this is a really special book. One of those can’t stop thinking about it, always wish I was reading it rather than doing anything else, never want it to end books.
There were multiple points where it honestly felt like Lio Min was just ripping my heart out and I needed to take a minute. Then it was balanced with moments that were so sweet and cute that I couldn't tear the smile off my face if I tried. I could feel the angst and pining deep down in my soul.
I just loved Santi and Suwa in all their imperfect ways. I loved all the supporting characters. I loved how every character in this story felt vulnerable and real. I loved the honest descriptions about intimacy in a trans body. I loved the LA backdrop. I loved the music themes. I’ve never watched anime in my life and now it’s all I want to do in case it helps me understand Santi and Suwa even more.
I have a feeling this will remain one of my favorite books of the year, if not of all time. I’m very excited to see what else Lio Min will come out with in the future.
———-
Full rtc but this was such an easy five star rating from me. Loved it!!!
There were multiple points where it honestly felt like Lio Min was just ripping my heart out and I needed to take a minute. Then it was balanced with moments that were so sweet and cute that I couldn't tear the smile off my face if I tried. I could feel the angst and pining deep down in my soul.
I just loved Santi and Suwa in all their imperfect ways. I loved all the supporting characters. I loved how every character in this story felt vulnerable and real. I loved the honest descriptions about intimacy in a trans body. I loved the LA backdrop. I loved the music themes. I’ve never watched anime in my life and now it’s all I want to do in case it helps me understand Santi and Suwa even more.
I have a feeling this will remain one of my favorite books of the year, if not of all time. I’m very excited to see what else Lio Min will come out with in the future.
———-
Full rtc but this was such an easy five star rating from me. Loved it!!!
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