Faced with a shattering loss, a young widow searches for answers, acceptance, and family resilience.
After taking her sons on a hike with the family dog one beautiful fall afternoon, Charlotte returned home to find a policewoman, a policeman, and a priest in her driveway—there to deliver the news of her husband’s suicide. Charlotte knew her husband had been stressed about work, but she had no idea he was suicidal. She thought he had stayed home to take a nap.
As a young widow, Charlotte cried, cursed, meditated, medicated, downward-dogged, and ran as a way to make sense of her husband’s suicide. As the mother of two bereft sons, she summoned her inner strength and clarity in order to provide steady guidance for them to navigate their own ways through the ensuing months and years. Her story offers intimate moments, powerful lessons, as well as practical ways through which not only suicide survivors but any of us experiencing loss can move forward to live lives of joy and purpose.
This beautiful book is a tearjerker and a heartwarmer. I wept hard. And I laughed and marveled and felt so warmly inspired by the author’s presence of spirit throughout this entire telling. She ranges through grace and anger and family politics and sisterhood and crisis of faith and comes out on the side of forgiveness, redemption, and overall love.
This book completely drew me in. The author honestly and beautifully tells her own story of raising her children and finding her way again after the absolutely unexpected and devastating suicide of her 41 year old husband. It may sound like this book is nothing but heartbreak, but that is not true. It's a book of love and struggle and hope. I am grateful to my dear book friend Lisa for suggesting that I read this.
Charlotte Maya wrote this book in such a candid way that you feel like she could have been someone you knew - maybe not as a best friend, but as a friend nonetheless.
Her memoir starts as sad as it gets - the devastating loss of a loved one by suicide, but you can always read the existence of hope between the lines, from someone who is writing in the future and knows that things will be ok, or better than ok, even though the reality of the loss will always be present.
Grief is part of the human experience and expression, and yet, we don't discuss it enough and some of us avoid it at all costs. But we have and will grieve several times over our lifetime - with luck, never for a reason as severe as Charlotte, but we can definitely use similar tools as her to learn to truly live after tragedy, even when the work of grieving is long and arduous, and will never truly be done.
I was apprehensive about this one because of the possibility that the topic might hit too close to home. I need not have worried. Fantastic writing and an uplifting message. It sometimes seemed that the author had all the answers, but I'm thinking that she meant the book to be positive and probably left out her moments of despair. This not to say that she didn't share difficult experiences. I know from my own experience that those closest don't always see the signs, as with Maya. I am glad this is finally coming out of the shadows. This book could be a template for others in this situation.
Charlotte’s raw emotion, honesty, passion,candor and humor are felt through her beautifully written book. I am in awe by her strength, patience and love, she is truly an inspiration!
The first chapter was rough and made me worried I wouldn't be able to get through it. Fortunately I persevered. Definitely some parallels with my situation but a lot of differences too.
A stunning and honest book about grief - how do you survive the sudden death by suicide of your husband at the age of 39? This is one of the most incredible memoirs that we have read...Lori & Julia The LoJ Book Club
One might think that something seemingly simple, like, asking for help would be less scary than deciding to die, but disturbing trends tell a different story. As does debut memoirist Charlotte Maya. Her new book, Sushi Tuesdays is about her husband Sam Maya who died by suicide. This book shows just how beautiful a devastating story can be. The opening takes us from a soccer game with their two sons, ages six and eight, to their front doorstep where she learns from two police and a priest that Sam jumped off a parking structure across from his office building. Charlotte is left to face that implosion with her boys, her community, and within herself. Amidst this devastation her thinking translates as clearly as her crystalline prose. She names it directly with her sons in a heartbreaking and striking scene. She holds us too, right in the frame with her. I wish for this kind of poise in this kind of situation. Clear, kind, direct.
I wondered about the title of this book. Clearly a title including the word suicide would be a challenging sell, but my first thought was, is this a foodie book? No. But it highlights one of her rituals that help to carry her through dark, slow hours, days, and weeks… She develops a ritual of self-care. Therapy. Yoga. Running. And the occasional table for one at her favorite sushi restaurant. All of these things, in addition to an unexpected groundswell of community support, help contain her, and her family.
Another ritual she had been partaking in each day, even before Sam’s death, was filling a bowl with water each morning envisioning it as the container for all that would come each day, the good and the bad, then, emptying it down the drain each night to let it all go (her children come up with a particularly charming description for this that you must discover when you read). We see these small but meaningful actions as rivets that hold her together through unimaginably difficult days. The difficulties evolve. The grief evolves. The questions morph and change—Charlotte’s most steadfast action is to continue meeting it all, as it is, in each moment.
This book is a gift Charlotte has shared with anyone who has ever felt alone in a most solitary corner of heartbreak. She shines a light on the pain of feeling alone with no answers in the complex quandary of life circumstances. We do not need to suffer alone. Asking for help can feel futile, perhaps, as well as unthinkably dismaying. But anxiety and depression are illnesses. In another scene, Charlotte argues to a cousin, for cancer we have chemo and radiation, for heart disease we have bypass surgery and medication, for Sam, and for those of us struggling through facing each day—talking about it, asking for help are the first steps to sidestepping mere minutes when words seem more daunting than a deadly alternative.
Her words are a testament to the power words can wield for all of us. To use them clearly, kindly, directly. Even the ugly, painful, messy parts. Contain it all, then let it go.
Listen to Charlotte Maya read from Sushi Tuesdays on the Daring to Tell podcast with Michelle Redo.
Readable memoir of the aftermath of the suicide of a beloved husband and father. Engaging, easy to read, with some lessons for growing through grief after the loss of any beloved person in your life. I admired her strength and courage in aiming for productive actions even when that was hard. She expressed gratitude for the "Janes" who found ways to help in the days and years after. I did wonder, at the point in her experiences when she was whole enough to write this book, did she experience any gratitude for the pretty great resources that were at her disposal during the hard times - the resources of her nuclear and extended family (lots of therapy, trips to hither and yon, family summer camp) and the Janes (an engineer, a lawyer, late night emailing availability, and many with sufficient time on their hands to help her family). Not a criticism, just a 'wonder'.
Although this is the story that starts with a sudden tragic event that ultimately changes the lives of Charlotte and her sons, it is also the story of picking up pieces and moving forward. It is heart breaking, but also heart lifting. The writing and flow of the book is outstanding and I was drawn in from page one. For anyone who has suffered loss, sudden and tragic or not, this book is also a book of hope. I found solace even in the midst of sadness. Inter mingled with the sad narrative is a sense of wonder and humor that is heart warming. Above all there is love. The love that was lost, but ultimately the love that was found. I found myself smiling, often through tears, but that is the sign of a really good book!!
I cried so much reading this book! It starts with the day Charlotte Maya's husband committed suicide. She explains her grief, who helped, how she parented her sons, and how she learned to care for herself by getting sushi on Tuesdays. She writes about what she learned form her therapist and she wrestled with different emotions and issues. And we get to read about finding love again and about her journey away from and back toward God.
As a fellow widow, I appreciated Maya's sensitive and nuanced story of raising her young boys after their father died by suicide. Although our stories are very different, the experience of losing your person has some similariries across circumstances and reading Maya's book made me feel less alone in my own experience. She captures the shock, the overwhelm, the questions beautifully.
I appreciated her candor. As a mother, I feel like she is a saint endowed with endless patience and empathy. I highlighted many passages and felt like she was a kind friend imparting motherly wisdom throughout. My one let down is that she was almost saved by finding another relationship to fall into and a few lines were a bit cringey but I am happy she found happiness again. Great read.
I don't know how anyone could rate this less than 5 stars when the author put her heart on the pages with brutal honesty, introspection, and humor. I'm not sure where I found this, but I am so glad I did.
Glad I read the book for many reasons! How can I be a better Jane? How does grief look? How do you balance fear with hope? Gave me real perspective into an experience with suicide that is hard to know much about without experiencing first hand.
I loved this book. So honest with all her emotions. She has a deep love for her children and life. I work on a Crisis line and would highly recomend this book.
Sushi Tuesdays starts with the author's husband's unexpected suicide when she was thirty-nine and had two small children. Although the book starts with the a tragic event, the story is more about learning ho to pick up pieces and move forward even in the face of grief and confusion. The propelling questions the author has to face is, "How will I get through this? How am I going to move forward? How am I going to help my children heal? Sushi Tuesdays refers to the day of the week that the author set aside for herself to do whatever she wanted.
I love hearing about who Sam was. I think that is one of the tough parts about suicide. WE tend to focus more on how they died and why. Instead, we should focus on the sadness behind tha act. We soon learn that Sam was more than just how he died. This book helps the reader understand suicide and how we can talk about the mental side of suicide without judgement. But more than suicide, this book is also about community, parenting, grief, and faith.
Truly a heartfelt, emotional read that took my breath away! I couldn't stop thinking about this book long after I finished it. She is certainly an inspiration to others on how to be resilient and recover from tremendous loss.