"A part of us has to die before we can really fall in love. The person we fall in love with protects us and brings us back from the parts that are dead or broken, even if we can’t be together on the same plane of existence."
As you all know, Kayley Loring is my favorite and I've been making my way through her backlog. It's interesting for me that I get the same feels from her older books that I get from the newer ones. It's her voice and her writing. There's nothing quite like it.
And her heroes... well, damn.
"Stop talking. Dear God, please shut yer piehole you beautiful clueless bastard."
I wish I'd had a brother growing up. And that he'd had a best friend. He could've been a nerd, if he would've been a nerd like Johnny. OK, all the math, calculations, and need for control would probably have driven me up the walls, but everything else... shit. The guy has always seen her. Not just looked at her, but seen her. He was always aware of anything she said, she loved, and anything she did. Even when she pranked him.
"She’s like an all-time favorite song that passes through my consciousness on a regular basis, even when I don’t purposefully stop to listen. I smile and savor the thought of her."
Olivia was an interesting one. I don't think I ever fully connected to her. On some level I did: it's hard to be fully open about your feelings, and to really feel them, when the person on the other side is not. When they want to control everything. It's infuriating. And it's hard to keep guessing what's going on simply because the other person is not able to exteriorize what they mean in a 'normal' way. But... what is 'normal' anyway?
“Excuse me. I’m sure your taste in women is impeccable.”
He grins as he slowly looks me up and down. “I think it is.”
These two people are very different. The only thing they have in common is Olivia's family. Since John comes from a family of workaholics who've never been there for him, he's essentially grown in her house. He's her brother's best friend. Maybe it is because she was always around, but he never quite could get her out of his head. And although she's supposed to find him annoying AF, maybe that's not really the case.
"I need to loosen him up. Maybe he’s all talk and he isn’t really ready for action with me. Maybe I need to break down his workaholic nerd walls."
She's a dancer, and she works at a restaurant. He's a wealthy man and a brainiac start-up genius. She depends on emotions to do her job properly. He avoids them like the plague because they wouldn't be good for business. When he needs someone to go with him to some social functions, without any strings attached, he makes her an offer she can't refuse. Accompanied by a contract, of course, because he's an asshole. She says yes, even though she probably shouldn't.
And all bets are off.
"His immediate unrestrained passion is stunning to me, and I wonder if he’s been wanting this for longer than I’d realized. Given my body’s response to him, I even wonder if I’ve been wanting this for longer than I’d realized."
I love how he's into her, but she doesn't seem to be. I mean, he's Johnny Nerdballs, her archnemesis as a kid, right? But he's able to push down all her walls until they crumble. The thing is... will she be able to do the same to his?
"In just a week, John Brandt has gone from Brother’s Annoying Friend That I Want To Punch, to Person I Can’t Imagine Living Without Despite Sometimes Wanting To Punch Him."
There are so many moments when I wanted to punch him, because who lets you go when things get hot and heavy to attend a meeting? Yeah, no. But then I wanted to hold him and kiss him and do all other sorts of interesting things to him.
It's not his fault that he is the way he is. Life made him that way. He's too controlled, arrogantly intellectual, unable to commit, and a workaholic, but at the same time so in love. He's just unable to show it. Until he has no other choice, or he'll lose her.
"I’ve been falling in love with you for most of my life,"
The bottom line is that she doesn't feel like she can be a part of his world. She doesn't think she'll be enough. He needs to fully understand her, and she doesn't want to be understood. She simply needs him to just love her, without realizing he already does.
In fact, they already do love each other.
And they probably have for a while.