Hell's Gulf

by Nick Carlson

HELL'S GULF

EVER WISHED YOU'D JUST STAYED AT HOME?

Rowan Vane, a wannabe writer with the confidence of a leaf in a hurricane, is on a soul-searching vacation with his damaged family in Hell’s Gulf – a ramshackle, no-horse stain on Florida’s reputation. You might be forgiven for asking why he’d go there, but forgiveness isn’t much of a commodity amongst the denizens of this godforsaken place – they’ve a bit of an axe to grind. With a history as dark and pungent as its waters, this bit-too-quiet beach town in the navel of nowhere is patrolled by a delightfully xenophobic sheriff who sees ‘foreign agents’ arriving on every rotten jetty. This picturesque town boasts abandoned ghostly ruins, unusually amorous sea life, mutant creatures and dastardly deeds that form the stories of the town’s affable alcoholics. Oh, and something’s been killing the people here for decades. Yes, folks, Hell’s Gulf really has it all. All you need is a little imagination. Fortunately, Rowan’s brought his along with all the bells and whistles. And some fishing tackle.
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From the
Nick’s writing immediately engages the reader with its delicate balance of simplicity and depth. You’ll sympathise, empathise, laugh with and be disgusted by the characters he’s created, all the while enjoying this gruesome whale-of-a-time story about a writer who’s coming of age at a time of our lives often downplayed in such a tale. This isn’t about prepubescent, hormonal disarray; instead, it’s an exploration of accountability and responsibility, self-reflection and the adjusting of one’s trajectory that so many young(ish) people fail to do at such a major transition point. It’s also about family, loss, recovery, and learning what’s valuable in this world of growing apathy and exploitation. And yes, it's also about slimy, toothy creatures and blood and guts (of course!) - TG

REVIEWS

"It is hard to not enjoy the hard work of…Nick Carlson. Hell’s Gulf is a labor of love with lore resembling familiar franchises that allows readers to easily connect. Many of the sea critters, monstrosities, and anomalies all contain some type of Pirates [of the Caribbean] aura, but with Carlson’s twisted words painting a more sinister vibe…Carlson's brilliant and enchanting use of dialogue…demonizes whatever it touches…a flavor of some serious scenes coupled with a little undertone of humor or smugness…reminiscent of a Joe Hill style of writing that is both enjoyable and…deadly effective. Carlson also knows his fishies…[h]is familiarity with these briny abominations helps keep them realistic and believable. If this were at my local book store, I think I’d find myself picking it up based on my similar interests." - N. A. Battaglia

Genres: Horror

317 pages, Paperback

Published July 4, 2022

Reviews

[Cujo · Rating 4 out of 5]

More cringy, creepy then scary More comical than funny, but definitely fucked up, and I mean that in a good way. Don't know how else to describe it

[Happyheart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full disclosure, I knew Nick first from his YouTube channel and later as an online friend, but I will try to be as unbiased in this review as I can.

Also, I will be spoiling the whole book.

I finished Hell's Gulf in two days, and that's in spite of me working a full eight hours on the second. I don't consider myself a very fast reader, but I found myself very drawn in by the mystery of what was so wrong with this town and why all these strange creatures were attracted to it. Nick has a knack for keeping the reader engaged, and that skill is only amplified by his ability to maintain good, even pacing throughout the book. At no point did I feel overwhelmed by the events transpiring, nor did I feel that any section was a slog to get through.

Most of the characters are unique and well-defined, and they each have their own appealing flair without being caricatures. Nick does tend to paint over a lot of the minor characters with the "uneducated rural oldster" brush when it comes to dialogue, but I was able to overlook this. All the Large Marge scenes were a treat. Her jaded, chip-on-the-shoulder outlook was very well-handled. I also really enjoyed Lusca's reveal, what with her casually spiteful dialogue and ancient-cryptid vibe. It made a great contrast to the kindness she was able to feign when mimicking Heather just moments ago. Jerome and Sebastian had a fun camaraderie (when the latter was still alive), though there were cases where their jokes felt forced or didn't really land. The attempt at accurately capturing the AAVE of Afro-Caribbean Floridians was respectful and well-intentioned, though I felt it was far from perfect in execution.

The ending of Hell's Gulf was undoubtedly one of the highlights for me, which is a rare thing to say about any book, I think. The way the Rift functions to explain all the phenomena going on in the book was just excellent, and it provides the reader with a lot of satisfying revelations to uncover through their own reflection. Throughout the book, Crowley and co. make frequent reference to Rowan being their town's harbinger of doom, but they also mention that any "foreign agents" cause trouble to arise in Hell's Gulf. This, we realize, is a result of outsiders bringing novel beliefs into Hell's Gulf and thus causing the Rift to manifest them. The latrine lizards were Millie's, Lusca was obviously Shantelle's, and the oyster-Sebastian monster was Jerome's. To me, this seems like a lot of great planning on Nick's part. Even the promotional blurb has a clever little allusion to the way the Rift works. "All you need is a little imagination." Nice.

I'll admit that it is a little too convenient for both the reader and Rowan to just happen to stumble upon the Rift when both of us needed it most. That's okay.

A few final criticisms: The arguments between Bridget and Rowan (particularly the final one) came across to me as manufactured tension. I've been trying to rationalize why Bridget is so explosively angry towards Rowan, and I can come up with a few decent justifications, I guess? But on the most basic, intuitive level, it just feels too weird to me that she's this angry with her son when they're on vacation and all that happened was he got, like, bit on the butt and slapped in the face and stayed out late once.

Similarly, I was absolutely baffled that Jerome let himself get convinced by Crowley that Rowan was the one causing Hell's Gulf's suffering. I understand that grief is pushing him to irrational blame, but I would expect that he's still retained some degree of working logic. I don't know. This could just be one of those things where different readers have different expectations, and maybe I'm the overly-cynical type.

Rowan's internal monologue was difficult to read at times for how dorky he was, but I suppose that this is by design. That is the character. He was fun to follow, he was funny, and I was pleased with his development and his growing courage throughout the book's climax. Nick wasn't corny about it either. It was a great ending to a fun book.

Also I realized I should say a few words about the horror aspect of this book, since that's the genre this is in written in after all. This kind of horror is not purely, truly scary horror, but I don't think it's really meant to be. It's fun, haunted house type horror, and Nick aptly chooses to have fun with it. To a large extent, I did, and I expect other readers will be able to as well.

If you Control + F the whole book you get no results for 'Outlast.' 4 stars

[Stephen Landis · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 out of 5 stars: While a painfully slow burn at the start and not as scary as I thought it would be, it does pick up about a third of the way through and has an interesting plot twist and an ending that has a lot of interesting implications for the wider world that Rowan Vane inhabits...

I originally picked this book up because I've been following the author's Youtube channel for several months now. Yes, I know what that implies but on the flipside, I'm not a horror guy. I prefer lightsabers to Lovecraftian horror but I'm getting off topic.

First, let's start with the bad. The plot is a slow burn at first, almost painfully so, as we meet main character Rowan Vale and learn about Hell's Gulf, Florida. It takes roughly a third of the book before Rowan, his single mother, and his bratty sister finally stumble upon the plot and things start to get interesting. And Rowan is not really likable as a protagonist, not at first. And while there are formatting and language choices that I did not particularly care for, the last non-nitpicky criticism I have is that I wasn't particularly scared. There were some funny moments (such as the beginning where Rowan is pulled over by a state trooper for speeding) where everything just played out perfectly but I was never particularly scared or frightened even when ghosts and demons started appearing out of the woodwork. Maybe it was me, maybe it was how the author chose to describe the horror, maybe it was some combination of the two. Regardless, I was not scared and actually a little disappointed as Nick shows on his Youtube channel that he is capable of creepy stories.

As for good, and there was some good elements to this, the story does start to move very quickly once the weirdness properly begins and the threads start to converge. We start with several seemingly unrelated horrors and the author manages to weave all of them together in a way that makes sense but still kept me guessing until the final reveal. Because when the main antagonist is finally revealed... well, let's just say I most certainly did not have "half-octopus tentacle monster" on my horror trope bingo card. Rowan acquires some back bone and becomes halfway likeable although Jerome and Large Marge were much more endearing and even became the unsung MVPs of the final chapters.

The world of Hell's Gulf itself also felt like a much more realized character then Rowan was, causing me to open up a map of Florida to see if it was an actual town (it isn't) and where it might have been located (best I can figure is somewhere on the Gulf coast halfway between Tampa and Tallahassee.) And the ending opens up some interesting thoughts about the power of belief and... let's just say the door is open for at least six more books in this wacky world if he's up for it.

[Menion · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is decent fun, no knockout, but decent fun.
The good stuff: the setting and the supporting cast are undoubtedly the best part of the book. It's nice when someone can finally write a horror story that doesn't take place in NY, LA, or Bangor, ME. The swampy areas of the Florida coast make for a good setting, and author Carlson does a nice job using it. He does a good job conveying the feel of the area, and the characters he peppers it with are intriguing, particularly the Claremont family. Their dialogue and actions are the most believable, especially the struggle of one brother between right and wrong. The story also has some creative ideas for creatures in the Gulf, the 'latrine lizards' and crazy dolphins added a nice touch of weirdness to the story.
The overall plot of the book is decent, although it does get a bit confusing towards the end with the 'dimension pool' aspect that gets introduced to the story. Some of the actions of the characters also seem silly at times, but the good thing is, the characters themselves also realize that, adding a nice touch of realism to the book. Example: when the main character, Rowan, is told he needs to find an eel to use to stop a monster, he expresses incredulity at the idea. When he asks what the heck he is supposed to do with the eel, he is told "I dunno. Use it like a pool noodle and beat the monster? I only know the what, not the how!" (that's paraphrased a bit, but you get the idea) There are a couple plot points that are completely unrealistic, (a big problem with the shark roast scene) but this is fiction, so who cares?
This is a fun read, but again, the best part is the place and the supporters, they are actually more fun than the protagonist and the overall plot itself. Would like to see another story just focusing on the Gulf and the locals, they were much more fun than Rowan and his family.

[Ronald Geobey · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a long time since I read horror, probably 20 years. James Herbert was a favourite of mine, with books like Creed, The Dark, Nobody True, and more. I also remember a particularly disgusting Clive Barker novel - the title escapes me. What I enjoyed most about returning to horror by way of Hell's Gulf - definitely not 'the scenic route' 😉 - was how engaging was the prose and how much fun was the dialogue. There's a relaxed immersion here that captivates and helps you feel the surroundings and lose yourself in the parochial isolation of a forgotten town. The story is great, with dotted clues that fall into place towards the end, something I'm a fan of; and the characters are the right balance of eclectic devices and 3-dimensional persons that you love, hate, pity, hope for and revel in their journeys and endings. Since finishing Hell's Gulf, I've opened my hitherto untouched copy of the Necronomicon - Carlson is clearly a fan - as well as found myself wanted to rewatch Bill Nighy as Davy Jones in 'Pirates'. Now more than ever I demand to see a Season 2 of Swamp Thing, but perhaps Nick will pen a screenplay and we can leave that disappointment behind.

[Abigail Berrigan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dark yet silly humor and witty off-the-wall dialogue shine throughout this tall tale. It's got all of your favorite hokey-ish horror/action tropes, but used in a way that still keeps an original feel and uniqueness to the narrative. It's not "Scarry movie" or "Tucker and Dale VS Evil" but it still does't take itself too seriosly. There is a coming of age element to the story as the main character (a college age kid named Rowan) struggles with what it means to be a man, and how to redefine his less than perfect relationship with his family as well as himself. Along the way, Rowan encounters local mysteries, unfamiliar and terrifying creatures, and even gets a salty taste of romance, but the shark's eyeball on top of the cake, is the rich array of quirky and downright strange supporting characters who really make Hells Gulf come alive ....so to speak.

[Erik McManus · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt like an R rated version of a goosebumps episode. The beginning and the setup of the small creepy town really pulled me in and got me invested. There were some word choices that I would not have used but that is a minor detail. I found that one of the big twists was a little obvious but it was still fun when it came to the reveal. The book also has an alternate ending option which was a cool addition. I liked the original ending but liked having that option. I will also never think of dolphins the same after this so thanks for that.

[Zacus Strunkus · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was a ride. I flew through this book. As far as horror writing goes, Hell's Gulf is above the standard. The characters, setting, and plot are both incredibly fleshed out and memorable.

I have to dock points for formatting. In character thoughts having no indicator beyond a quick swap to first person for a sentence was incredibly jarring. My other big complaint is the sudden jerk in the story toward the end, a couple of elements feel out of left field and a touch cartoony.

Amazing read, fantastic horror, would recommend.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A slow burn at the beginning, sure, but worth it. The world building takes time. Once the fuse hits the rocket though... it's good stuff.

This book contains a great deal of humor, and COULD have been "scarier", but that isn't even a big deal for me.

Gotta give a shout out to the great side characters, that I found myself rooting for as I kept progressing.

Looking forward to the next book from Nick Carlson.

[Sam Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rowan Vane is a very relatable character with relatable struggles about his identity, and about his writing. Very interesting horror elements as well, and the characters in Hell’s Gulf are very fleshed-out and have interesting personalities. The messed-up nature of the town, with all the murders and people blaming each other, and always blaming new people for things make for some drama. And the things that happen to the characters are very sad and well done. Highly recommended.

[Eric Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

The ability that Nick Carlson has to envelop you in a creepy and humorous world is incredible. Hells Gulf was full of twists and turns that kept me coming back to see what kinda torture Rowan would have to endure next. If your a fan of horror and weird mythos I strongly recommend this book

[Mitchell Haskett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hell’s gulf was a fun read! I can say it has been the only book to date to genuinely give me a scare. While unhinged at times, the horror is really effective. Definitely worth a read!