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You Can't Stay Here Forever
Named a must-read book of summer by: Good Morning America, People, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times, the Boston Globe, and the Philadelphia Inquirer.
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Desperate to obliterate her past, a young widow flees California for the French Riviera in this compelling debut, a tale of loss, rebirth, modern friendship, and romance that blends Sally Rooney’s wryness and psychological insight with Emma Straub's gorgeous scene-setting and rich relationships.
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Desperate to obliterate her past, a young widow flees California for the French Riviera in this compelling debut, a tale of loss, rebirth, modern friendship, and romance that blends Sally Rooney’s wryness and psychological insight with Emma Straub's gorgeous scene-setting and rich relationships.
Just days after her young, handsome husband dies in a car accident, Ellie Huang discovers that he had a mistress—one of her own colleagues at a prestigious San Francisco law firm. Acting on impulse—or is it grief? rage? Probably all three—Ellie cashes in Ian’s life insurance policy for an extended stay at the luxurious Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Antibes, France. Accompanying her is her free-spirited best friend, Mable Chou.
Ellie hopes that the five-star resort on the French Riviera, with its stunning clientele and floral-scented cocktails, will be a heady escape from the real world. And at first it is. She and Mable meet an intriguing couple, Fauna and Robbie, and as their poolside chats roll into wine-soaked dinners, the four become increasingly intimate. But the sunlit getaway soon turns into a reckoning for Ellie, as long-simmering tensions and uncomfortable truths swirl to the surface.
Taking the reader from San Francisco to the gilded luxury of the south of France, You Can’t Stay Here Forever is a sharply funny and exciting debut that explores the slippery nature of marriage, the push and pull between friends, and the interplay of race and privilege, seen through the eyes of a young Asian American woman.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published June 13, 2023
189 people are currently reading
15656 people want to read
About the author
Katherine Lin
1 book75 followersKatherine Lin is a writer living in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her debut novel is forthcoming from Harper in 2023. She is a graduate of Northwestern University and Stanford Law School.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 318 reviews
May 12, 2023
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Contemporary
Ellie is a young Asian American widow. Just a few days after her husband’s death, she finds out that Ian might not have been the faithful husband she always thought he was. With her friend Mable’s help, Ellie will try to overcome all her struggles and have a vacation that will change the course of her life. She goes from California to French Riviera for some time off.
You Can't Stay Here Forever is a slow-paced novel that places more emphasis on developing the characters than on the actual storyline. So for that, you really need to like and root for the main character to be truly invested in the story. Despite the fact that the writing was fairly good for a first novel, I felt that the characters required more development, or perhaps it was just that they were not that compelling to me.
I believe there are women who will, at some point, find themselves in a predicament comparable to that of the main lady in this story, and they will certainly want some form of support. This is not the type of book you read for amusement; rather, you read it for the morals and insights it might teach you about life. If you are interested in reading about topics such as loss, grief, romance, and friendship, you should give this book a try since you have some likelihood of liking it.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for this ARC.
Genre: Contemporary
Ellie is a young Asian American widow. Just a few days after her husband’s death, she finds out that Ian might not have been the faithful husband she always thought he was. With her friend Mable’s help, Ellie will try to overcome all her struggles and have a vacation that will change the course of her life. She goes from California to French Riviera for some time off.
You Can't Stay Here Forever is a slow-paced novel that places more emphasis on developing the characters than on the actual storyline. So for that, you really need to like and root for the main character to be truly invested in the story. Despite the fact that the writing was fairly good for a first novel, I felt that the characters required more development, or perhaps it was just that they were not that compelling to me.
I believe there are women who will, at some point, find themselves in a predicament comparable to that of the main lady in this story, and they will certainly want some form of support. This is not the type of book you read for amusement; rather, you read it for the morals and insights it might teach you about life. If you are interested in reading about topics such as loss, grief, romance, and friendship, you should give this book a try since you have some likelihood of liking it.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for this ARC.
April 27, 2023
***I received a free copy via Goodreads Giveaways in exchange for a honest review. It is an paperback ARC copy***
I thought the cover was eye-catching, beautiful colors. The blurb sounded interesting and so when paired together, I was super excited to have won an advanced reader's copy. It took a few days before I was finally able to dive off into it, and then that is when the struggles started.
While, mildly interesting, the novel did not immediately capture my full attention. It was more like a movie playing in the background while you cook dinner, something might catch your attention enough to pause and actually focus on it, but then you go back to what you were doing, without much effort. I was able to easily set the book down to handle other tasks, with little rush to jump back in when given a chance.
Ellie lacked main character material. She was uninteresting as a narrator as well as an actor in her own story. I usually don't need characters that I can relate to, to enjoy a book, and I don't have to like them, one bit. What I do need to do, is care where the story is going, or what is the point? And with this, I didn't care. Not a single bit.
The entire cast felt flat to me, much like cardboard cutouts of people. Each lacked depth, starkly drawn in black and white, pigeon-holed into a role, much like the cast of teenagers in a horror film. "The hot guy jock", "the brassy, loud BFF", "the quiet but pretty smart girl." "the mysterious stranger". All of them had a role, with no growth, no coloring outside of the lines.
The events that sent Ellie to her high dollar hideaway, were glossed over for most of the book, barely mentioned unless it was to cause a rift. She did very little reflecting, on her marriage, her job or even her life in general, choosing instead to act like she wasn't a widow, one with unlimited money and time. For a character that is supposed to have struggled due to race, she has more privilege than every person that I have ever known. Spending 3 weeks at a place that I couldn't afford for a single hour, living in a city that I could never afford a life, with an actual house, with a job, aka paycheck that I could only dream of. Ellie orders expensive food, then throws it away without taking a single bite, wasting food the way that someone that has NEVER been hungry would. (if you aren't hungry, you box it up and put it in the fridge, you don't set it outside the door to be tossed out). She latches on to the lives of strangers, boring ones, at that, all while her own boring life is going up in smoke. Perhaps, that is the point, to focus so heavily on others', so that she doesn't have to turn that spotlight on herself, as she ignores her family and her job for no good reason, other than "just because".
To me, 90% of the time, "slow-burn" means crap pacing and filler and this doesn't fall into the other 10%.
When I first finished the book, I thought it might be a three star rating but honestly, the more I reflect on it, the two stars given, feel generous. As a small child, I watched my mom in her mid-30s become a widow in the late 80s, and then in 2020, I watched my closest girl friend in her late 20s become one. Two women, generations apart, both having to boss up and deal with running a household, paying bills, a full time job, kid(s) all while grieving but I'm suppose to want to read about a shallow, woe is me, rich girl that jets off to the other side of the world, with money 90% of the population will never see and feel something? A vapid character that didn't even bother to set up maintenance for her life while she was gone. I go away on a weekend trip and have to get affairs in order. Who will check on the pets? What about the mail? Is everything unplugged that doesn't need to be wasting electricity while we are gone. But she just sets off on a 3 week event without getting anything squared away or letting anyone know where she was headed. Cuz that makes sense in this day and age.
Perhaps, I did feel something. Borderline contempt for this character that has suffered so greatly yet has more than most people can dream to save up for in their life. A character that showed no growth in 300 pages, no more likable or relatable on the last page than the first.
Overall the book felt like a slice of a bigger story, one the author didn't know how to tell. One with details about something other than menu prices and the layout of foods. One with nuanced arguments between friends that felt organic, flowed naturally instead of "oh, we need a little conflict before the ending!"
Honestly, I need to stop reflecting back on the book before I drop my rating down yet another star, because the more I think over it, the worse the whole thing seems.
I thought the cover was eye-catching, beautiful colors. The blurb sounded interesting and so when paired together, I was super excited to have won an advanced reader's copy. It took a few days before I was finally able to dive off into it, and then that is when the struggles started.
While, mildly interesting, the novel did not immediately capture my full attention. It was more like a movie playing in the background while you cook dinner, something might catch your attention enough to pause and actually focus on it, but then you go back to what you were doing, without much effort. I was able to easily set the book down to handle other tasks, with little rush to jump back in when given a chance.
Ellie lacked main character material. She was uninteresting as a narrator as well as an actor in her own story. I usually don't need characters that I can relate to, to enjoy a book, and I don't have to like them, one bit. What I do need to do, is care where the story is going, or what is the point? And with this, I didn't care. Not a single bit.
The entire cast felt flat to me, much like cardboard cutouts of people. Each lacked depth, starkly drawn in black and white, pigeon-holed into a role, much like the cast of teenagers in a horror film. "The hot guy jock", "the brassy, loud BFF", "the quiet but pretty smart girl." "the mysterious stranger". All of them had a role, with no growth, no coloring outside of the lines.
The events that sent Ellie to her high dollar hideaway, were glossed over for most of the book, barely mentioned unless it was to cause a rift. She did very little reflecting, on her marriage, her job or even her life in general, choosing instead to act like she wasn't a widow, one with unlimited money and time. For a character that is supposed to have struggled due to race, she has more privilege than every person that I have ever known. Spending 3 weeks at a place that I couldn't afford for a single hour, living in a city that I could never afford a life, with an actual house, with a job, aka paycheck that I could only dream of. Ellie orders expensive food, then throws it away without taking a single bite, wasting food the way that someone that has NEVER been hungry would. (if you aren't hungry, you box it up and put it in the fridge, you don't set it outside the door to be tossed out). She latches on to the lives of strangers, boring ones, at that, all while her own boring life is going up in smoke. Perhaps, that is the point, to focus so heavily on others', so that she doesn't have to turn that spotlight on herself, as she ignores her family and her job for no good reason, other than "just because".
To me, 90% of the time, "slow-burn" means crap pacing and filler and this doesn't fall into the other 10%.
When I first finished the book, I thought it might be a three star rating but honestly, the more I reflect on it, the two stars given, feel generous. As a small child, I watched my mom in her mid-30s become a widow in the late 80s, and then in 2020, I watched my closest girl friend in her late 20s become one. Two women, generations apart, both having to boss up and deal with running a household, paying bills, a full time job, kid(s) all while grieving but I'm suppose to want to read about a shallow, woe is me, rich girl that jets off to the other side of the world, with money 90% of the population will never see and feel something? A vapid character that didn't even bother to set up maintenance for her life while she was gone. I go away on a weekend trip and have to get affairs in order. Who will check on the pets? What about the mail? Is everything unplugged that doesn't need to be wasting electricity while we are gone. But she just sets off on a 3 week event without getting anything squared away or letting anyone know where she was headed. Cuz that makes sense in this day and age.
Perhaps, I did feel something. Borderline contempt for this character that has suffered so greatly yet has more than most people can dream to save up for in their life. A character that showed no growth in 300 pages, no more likable or relatable on the last page than the first.
Overall the book felt like a slice of a bigger story, one the author didn't know how to tell. One with details about something other than menu prices and the layout of foods. One with nuanced arguments between friends that felt organic, flowed naturally instead of "oh, we need a little conflict before the ending!"
Honestly, I need to stop reflecting back on the book before I drop my rating down yet another star, because the more I think over it, the worse the whole thing seems.
January 11, 2023
Wow, what an incredibly nuanced, deft debut novel from Katherine Lin. I finished You Can't Stay Here Forever a few hours ago and haven't stop thinking about it. Lin really left no stone unturned here, and it's obvious how much care and precision went into the crafting of every single character in this book. Ellie Huang is a deliciously complicated protagonist, and I loved every bit of her journey.
Additionally, this book has both commercial fiction elements as well as literary fiction ones, so if you're looking to dip your toes into something a little more character-driven that still has several juicy plot points up its sleeve, I whole-heartedly recommend You Can't Stay Here Forever.
I'm excited about Katherine Lin's literary future, and I hope this is just the beginning.
Content warning: Infidelity, spousal death, anti-Asian racism
Additionally, this book has both commercial fiction elements as well as literary fiction ones, so if you're looking to dip your toes into something a little more character-driven that still has several juicy plot points up its sleeve, I whole-heartedly recommend You Can't Stay Here Forever.
I'm excited about Katherine Lin's literary future, and I hope this is just the beginning.
Content warning: Infidelity, spousal death, anti-Asian racism
November 19, 2023
Some books just hit you differently - for better or for worse - depending on what’s going on in your life at the time of reading. Perfect case in point for this book and me. I understand that many people didn’t like this book, and I get it. However, my experience was different because this is a book about grief and loss - flirting with many of its lovely permutations, such as delayed, inhibited, cumulative, traumatic/sudden, complicated, disenfranchised, plus secondary losses including identity crisis - and I read this book around a year after going through something quite similar.
One of my primary and uncontrollable symptoms experienced when I dealt with that unexpected and tragic death in my life is that I became basically a total asshole for a little while, and barely capable of maintaining reasonable human functioning, communicating, and relating, and that was just the best I could do at the time; it had to simply run its course until I was capable of taking back the wheel from, I don’t know, the Grim Reaper.
Death is a total bitch and it can really wreak havoc on a person, which is what happens to the protagonist in this book. She loses her husband suddenly and violently, and then just postmortem, she also learns brand new information about him and their relationship that adds another thick layer of trauma, loss, and confusion - she simultaneously loses her spouse and learns that he is in some ways a stranger to her. Their relationship becomes unrecognizable to her at the moment it is over; her memories are rendered unreliable and she is left in the position of trying to figure out their relationship altogether at a time when the proper and already difficult task of grief would be to figure out how an established relationship will continue after death. And he’s dead, so will be unable to provide any assistance in helping her to untangle or resolve these things.
All of this is to say that the protagonist, in deep crisis, responds to all this by behaving completely nonsensically and, well, becoming an asshole. She can’t work, or communicate properly, is a jerk to people who try to care for her, and struggles to trust others and the world. She distracts herself by becoming kind of obsessed with a mysterious couple she encounters on vacation and basically engages in a variety of defense mechanisms by which she attempts to channel all her anxieties and questions through them. She’s a wreck, and therefore I get how readers found her annoying, her actions irrational, and the narrative scattered. However, in the wake of my own loss, I got it - it made sense to me.
People are free to like and dislike books as they choose, but sometimes I wonder why it seems difficult for people to appreciate a narrative struggle if it doesn’t reflect a struggle they’ve had and/or their own capacities to cope with it (this is the whole “unlikeable protagonist” problem). Do we want to only read about sympathetic people who are privileged enough to be able to figure everything out fairly quickly and handle it all pretty well? Life is hard, and a good rule of thumb in both life and fiction seems to be to come from a place of assuming that most people don’t want to be miserable and are generally doing the best they can, but that their behavior often “makes sense” given what they’ve been through and what they have to work with. This book illustrates that well and authentically for me, but again, I brought my own baggage on the trip.
One of my primary and uncontrollable symptoms experienced when I dealt with that unexpected and tragic death in my life is that I became basically a total asshole for a little while, and barely capable of maintaining reasonable human functioning, communicating, and relating, and that was just the best I could do at the time; it had to simply run its course until I was capable of taking back the wheel from, I don’t know, the Grim Reaper.
Death is a total bitch and it can really wreak havoc on a person, which is what happens to the protagonist in this book. She loses her husband suddenly and violently, and then just postmortem, she also learns brand new information about him and their relationship that adds another thick layer of trauma, loss, and confusion - she simultaneously loses her spouse and learns that he is in some ways a stranger to her. Their relationship becomes unrecognizable to her at the moment it is over; her memories are rendered unreliable and she is left in the position of trying to figure out their relationship altogether at a time when the proper and already difficult task of grief would be to figure out how an established relationship will continue after death. And he’s dead, so will be unable to provide any assistance in helping her to untangle or resolve these things.
All of this is to say that the protagonist, in deep crisis, responds to all this by behaving completely nonsensically and, well, becoming an asshole. She can’t work, or communicate properly, is a jerk to people who try to care for her, and struggles to trust others and the world. She distracts herself by becoming kind of obsessed with a mysterious couple she encounters on vacation and basically engages in a variety of defense mechanisms by which she attempts to channel all her anxieties and questions through them. She’s a wreck, and therefore I get how readers found her annoying, her actions irrational, and the narrative scattered. However, in the wake of my own loss, I got it - it made sense to me.
People are free to like and dislike books as they choose, but sometimes I wonder why it seems difficult for people to appreciate a narrative struggle if it doesn’t reflect a struggle they’ve had and/or their own capacities to cope with it (this is the whole “unlikeable protagonist” problem). Do we want to only read about sympathetic people who are privileged enough to be able to figure everything out fairly quickly and handle it all pretty well? Life is hard, and a good rule of thumb in both life and fiction seems to be to come from a place of assuming that most people don’t want to be miserable and are generally doing the best they can, but that their behavior often “makes sense” given what they’ve been through and what they have to work with. This book illustrates that well and authentically for me, but again, I brought my own baggage on the trip.
March 14, 2023
I was really disappointed with this book. The writing style and dialogue was wooden. Much of it sounded like hackneyed repetition of tropes, having to do with the situation of Asian women and women in the workplace in America. But it just didn’t sound convincing, it sounded almost like parroting and explaining in case the reader didn’t get it. The plot was totally unconvincing and unrealistic.
January 28, 2025
Read to 55%.
These characters see everything through a lense of ethnicity and feminism, which is quite tiresome, inflammatory, and shallow.
Also, too many f-bombs and a few somewhat crude sexual comments.
Movin’ on. 🪂
- Desiree Reads
The Bookish Birder
January 28, 2025
- See the best books of 2024 @ https://bookshop.org/lists/the-bookis...
These characters see everything through a lense of ethnicity and feminism, which is quite tiresome, inflammatory, and shallow.
Also, too many f-bombs and a few somewhat crude sexual comments.
Movin’ on. 🪂
- Desiree Reads
The Bookish Birder
January 28, 2025
- See the best books of 2024 @ https://bookshop.org/lists/the-bookis...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 29, 2023
I read a little snippet of the synopsis from the dust jacket in the library and decided I should bring You Can't Stay Here Forever by Katherine Lin home with me. I am really happy I did, and I ended up quite enjoying this debut novel! It sits pretty firmly in the literary fiction genre for me, but there was also some drama as well thanks to that mistress of Ian's. I don't know that I LOVED Ellie's character, but I did find her really interesting, and I did love the friendship she shares with Mable. This entire novel just felt so real and raw, and you can easily see something like this happening IRL. Lin did an extraordinary job of bringing the various settings to life as well, and I loved her descriptions of the hotel and that spot in France as a whole.
The audiobook is narrated by Eunice Wong, and I absolutely LOVED her as the narrator for this book. She really brought Ellie's emotions to life with her narration, and I felt like I could feel all the same things she was. On top of that, she was easy to listen to which is always a plus! I didn't have any issues staying invested in the storyline or the characters, and I was very captivated by the various topics Lin touched on. If you enjoy character-driven literary fiction that explores mother/daughter relationships, female friendship, and so much more, I would absolutely recommend giving You Can't Stay Here Forever a shot.
The audiobook is narrated by Eunice Wong, and I absolutely LOVED her as the narrator for this book. She really brought Ellie's emotions to life with her narration, and I felt like I could feel all the same things she was. On top of that, she was easy to listen to which is always a plus! I didn't have any issues staying invested in the storyline or the characters, and I was very captivated by the various topics Lin touched on. If you enjoy character-driven literary fiction that explores mother/daughter relationships, female friendship, and so much more, I would absolutely recommend giving You Can't Stay Here Forever a shot.
May 29, 2023
Thank you Netgalley and HarperCollins for allowing my to read the digital arc for You Can't Stay Here Forever by Katherine Lin in exchange for my honest review.
This book had me underwhelmed. The beginning starts with a punch to the gut as Ellie finds out her husband has passed, resulting in her life being turned upside down. But after the first chapter it felt like nothing really ever happened, especially in terms of character growth.
I know the story is about a grieving woman but i just wanted to shake her. i couldn't find her relatable, her fancy life as a money making lawyer in san fransisco was never really acknowledged as that being something extremely privileged (especially since it's being marketed as a book about the subject). and maybe that has do with the fact that she never fully understood how passive she was throughout her whole life so she never comprehended how lucky she was to afford a house in san fransisco.
i felt like her journey of self discovery never really went anywhere in the end. part of that was due to the fact that the writing didn't really go deep enough for me when it comes to creating the backstory of ellie and mable's relationships. and we only saw bits and pieces of her relationship with ian (granted he was already dead when the novel starts). i ended up like mable, a side character, more than the main.
i guess i just wanted more from this novel. it's branded as a book about loss, friendship, racism and privilege yet none of that was really fleshed out in a way that felt like core themes of the book. even the final confrontation between ellie and cat was underwhelming. i just wanted a deeper dive into these themes and to feel like the characters had actually been impacted by them in some way.
i just wanted a bit more from it.
This book had me underwhelmed. The beginning starts with a punch to the gut as Ellie finds out her husband has passed, resulting in her life being turned upside down. But after the first chapter it felt like nothing really ever happened, especially in terms of character growth.
I know the story is about a grieving woman but i just wanted to shake her. i couldn't find her relatable, her fancy life as a money making lawyer in san fransisco was never really acknowledged as that being something extremely privileged (especially since it's being marketed as a book about the subject). and maybe that has do with the fact that she never fully understood how passive she was throughout her whole life so she never comprehended how lucky she was to afford a house in san fransisco.
i felt like her journey of self discovery never really went anywhere in the end. part of that was due to the fact that the writing didn't really go deep enough for me when it comes to creating the backstory of ellie and mable's relationships. and we only saw bits and pieces of her relationship with ian (granted he was already dead when the novel starts). i ended up like mable, a side character, more than the main.
i guess i just wanted more from this novel. it's branded as a book about loss, friendship, racism and privilege yet none of that was really fleshed out in a way that felt like core themes of the book. even the final confrontation between ellie and cat was underwhelming. i just wanted a deeper dive into these themes and to feel like the characters had actually been impacted by them in some way.
i just wanted a bit more from it.
July 29, 2023
Unfortunately, this one was a complete miss. I finished it because I wanted so desperately for SOMETHING to happen, but nothing ever did. The characters were intriguing, but ultimately left me disappointed.
December 13, 2022
I loved that Ellie Huang, a distraught and traumatized young widow, manages to leave the reality of an unfaithful and suddenly deceased husband, by flying to the south of France and working remotely from a luxurious hotel resort by the sea. Her life-long friend, Mable Cho, accompanies Ellie on this escape trip.
I saw the plot as many-layered, addressing topics such as the complexity of female friendships, a mother-daughter relationship, and living life to suit the expectations of others. These topics are explored when Ellie and Mable meet others at the resort and learn from exchanging views, trying to resolve conflicts, and observing social interactions.
Underlying the problem of the sudden death of her husband and finding out about his two-year afffair with another woman, is the layer of race and race consciousness. Ellie and the reader wonder how much or even if her being Asian affected her marriage to a Caucasian.
I also liked that Ellie has an affair during her trip, even if it's for only one night.
A lot of topics are subtly covered in this very interesting novel.
I saw the plot as many-layered, addressing topics such as the complexity of female friendships, a mother-daughter relationship, and living life to suit the expectations of others. These topics are explored when Ellie and Mable meet others at the resort and learn from exchanging views, trying to resolve conflicts, and observing social interactions.
Underlying the problem of the sudden death of her husband and finding out about his two-year afffair with another woman, is the layer of race and race consciousness. Ellie and the reader wonder how much or even if her being Asian affected her marriage to a Caucasian.
I also liked that Ellie has an affair during her trip, even if it's for only one night.
A lot of topics are subtly covered in this very interesting novel.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 16, 2023
This was an advance reader’s edition (ARE) that was dropped off as a donation to my LFL. Could it be because it was an ARE that it just didn’t flow well and the fixes hadn’t been made yet? Or was this it's final destiny readers version?
I really wanted to like this book. In many ways it started out so well, with her first sentence…
“I was waiting for the J train when I found out my husband was dead.”
Yet, what followed was not a murder. It was that her husband died, and she soon discovers he has a mistress. Now I am not giving away any secrets here – that was clearly laid out for us readers on the book’s back copy, along with the fact that said mistress, Cat is Ellie’s (our protagonist) colleague at her law firm.
Now we would expect that this would be the core of the story – figuring out what this was all about – the whys of it all, right? How did I not know that my husband had a mistress kind of a story?
Instead, Lin expends a lot of her narrative energy on Ellie’s inner life than Ian’s (her dead husband) infidelity. We learn about their interracial marriage (Ellie is Taiwanese American – Ian was white). Her bestie Mable Chou – who is widely different than her, and her love/hate relationship with her mother, Mary.
But, even in flashbacks about their relationship/marriage, everything about Ian falls flat to this reader. What exactly was this attraction to him? How do you mourn this loss anyway?
Well, off to France she goes and decides to spend her husband’s life-insurance check on a decadent trip to the French Riviera with Mable in tow.
At this point, we seem to be dealing with race issues as they meet another interracial couple. And the story drifts. Some more.
Will Ellie survive the loss of her husband?
Will she quit her overbearing law job?
Will we eventually learn why Ian was in an affair? And if he really loved Ellie?
Will we find out what Ellie's future holds for her? And do we care?
Do readers get their answers? Without giving away spoilers, the best I can say is…
Good questions.
June 21, 2023
my apologies to the author, but this was honestly really boring. normally, i enjoy specificity in writing, but the high attention to detail in this book seemed like it was intended to conceal the shortcomings of the plot itself… or lack thereof. the characters did not develop much, which i suppose is realistic, but entirely unsatisfying and not a great motivator to continue reading. additionally, the ending was incredibly vague — and not in an intriguing, cliff-hanger type of way. it just completely fell flat. thanks to the book bin for the ARC.
June 24, 2024
So, I thought this was a thriller - misread the blurb or something 😂 - so I was disappointed on that front. However, this is a truly immersive read that you won’t be able to put down.
Ellie’s husband, of only a couple of months, died in a car accident. As Ellie falls apart - her husband’s secrets come to the surface - the revelations begin to interfere with her with life and work.
So Ellie and her best friend. Mable, decide to take a trip with the life insurance money. These characters are well-built. You’ll sympathize with them and also relate to them.
The atmosphere of this book is like an extra character. The images it conjures in your mind are simply breathtaking.
Def recommend
Ellie’s husband, of only a couple of months, died in a car accident. As Ellie falls apart - her husband’s secrets come to the surface - the revelations begin to interfere with her with life and work.
So Ellie and her best friend. Mable, decide to take a trip with the life insurance money. These characters are well-built. You’ll sympathize with them and also relate to them.
The atmosphere of this book is like an extra character. The images it conjures in your mind are simply breathtaking.
Def recommend
July 24, 2023
1.5
This is as low a rating as I give for a book I actually finished.
The blurb is terribly misleading... "tale of loss, rebirth, modern friendship, and romance that blends Sally Rooney’s wryness and psychological insight..."
The only part of that portion of the blurb that is accurate is the word loss. Ellie's husband dies at the beginning of the story and she's grieving him.
There is no rebirth, and to be fair, how could there be in only one month after her husband dies. The relationship between Mable and Ellie does not fit my definition of friendship. And a one night stand is not a romance.
At one point Ellie gives her laptop and company phone to the concierge at the hotel to mail back to her office. That's her resignation.
This story doesn't ring true on so many levels. It actually feels like a bad episode of White Lotus.
This is as low a rating as I give for a book I actually finished.
The blurb is terribly misleading... "tale of loss, rebirth, modern friendship, and romance that blends Sally Rooney’s wryness and psychological insight..."
The only part of that portion of the blurb that is accurate is the word loss. Ellie's husband dies at the beginning of the story and she's grieving him.
There is no rebirth, and to be fair, how could there be in only one month after her husband dies. The relationship between Mable and Ellie does not fit my definition of friendship. And a one night stand is not a romance.
At one point Ellie gives her laptop and company phone to the concierge at the hotel to mail back to her office. That's her resignation.
This story doesn't ring true on so many levels. It actually feels like a bad episode of White Lotus.
July 24, 2023
Boring, self-centered, privileged characters made it hard to connect with this book. The two main characters were Asian-American women approaching 30. Mable hopped from one temp job to another because she really wanted to make it as a writer; she never appeared to spend any time or energy on writing during the short span of time covered by this novel. Ellie, whose husband was killed in an accident as he rushed to his office from a tryst with his mistress of some two years, seemed stuck in a teenage phase of discovering herself, but displayed none of the self-reflection needed to move forward. Comparisons to Emma Straub and Sally Rooney in the publisher’s blurb attracted my interest initially but were not warranted IMHO.
September 2, 2023
I stayed up almost all night to finish this book because I was so riveted by the characters. Ellie's journey through grieving the loss of a spouse, questioning her professional identity in leaving her corporate firm job, anger over her spouse cheating on her, and self-discovery about what the nature of her closest friendship tells her about herself were all incredibly compelling, realistic, and thought provoking. Lin perfectly captures the complex and delicate nature of friendship for millennials in the modern, digital world. Set through the first person narrative of a protagonist who is going through what can only be described as a professional and personal meltdown, Lin manages to show how each of Ellie's sequential choices make sense in the moment, but also are a step towards that meltdown when viewed in the objective lens of hindsight.
I especially loved this book because I'm an attorney, and actually an alumnus of Stanford Law where Ellie and Ian were students. Lin perfectly captured the atmosphere of what it is like to be in law school, and how the high pressure environment of the first year of law school pushes people into consequential choices that loom over and can harm them for the rest of their lives.
Every lawyer -- and every law student -- should read this book. It provides a critical reminder of how the choices we make as a 1L (relationships, whether to go towards a corporate firm job, and figuring out who are friends really are) can shape us for years to come. And it also shows that those choices don't have to define us. That we can question whether a relationship we entered into while in a pressure cooker is healthy, that there is a life outside of a corporate law firm, and that maintaining friendships from outside the legal world is critically important to long term happiness.
The portrayal of both Ian's and Ellie's relationship with their firms was so spot on, and the perspective of "what will this be like a few years after you graduate" is especially poignant. I saw so many of my law school classmates go through the same challenges Ellie (and many of the other less characters at the firm) did 5 to 6 years after we graduated. That picture is just not clear to so many law students, but reading a realistic portrayal of firm life through the lens of a relatable character seems like it would have so much value.
The nature of Ellie's and Mable's friendship was so compelling. The "best friend" relationship for millennials is so important because of the tenuous nature of connection in the digital era. When friendships can span coasts and are played out over social media, knowing who your true friends are is so hard. And when a relationship can become as close as or closer than family, the degree of betrayal and hurt that is possible is magnified. Lin shows all of this through Mable and Ellie's relationship in a highly realistic but compelling way. I haven't read any other books that capture the importance and vulnerability of that type of friendship for people our generation.
Best of all, reading You Can't Stay Here Forever taught me things about myself that I didn't even know I needed to learn. I entered a 5-year relationship that closely paralleled Ian's and Ellie's during the pressure cooker of my first year of law school. Reading the story of Ellie and Ian and seeing how Ellie fell into and stayed in the relationship with Ian through an objective lens helped me understand more about myself. The very realistic, objective portrayal of how that kind of relationship can start, and continue, in You Can't Stay Here Forever is something I will continue taking with me in understanding myself and my life. I have rarely read a book that provided me such a powerful opportunity for self reflection, and I honestly feel grateful to have read it.
I especially loved this book because I'm an attorney, and actually an alumnus of Stanford Law where Ellie and Ian were students. Lin perfectly captured the atmosphere of what it is like to be in law school, and how the high pressure environment of the first year of law school pushes people into consequential choices that loom over and can harm them for the rest of their lives.
Every lawyer -- and every law student -- should read this book. It provides a critical reminder of how the choices we make as a 1L (relationships, whether to go towards a corporate firm job, and figuring out who are friends really are) can shape us for years to come. And it also shows that those choices don't have to define us. That we can question whether a relationship we entered into while in a pressure cooker is healthy, that there is a life outside of a corporate law firm, and that maintaining friendships from outside the legal world is critically important to long term happiness.
The portrayal of both Ian's and Ellie's relationship with their firms was so spot on, and the perspective of "what will this be like a few years after you graduate" is especially poignant. I saw so many of my law school classmates go through the same challenges Ellie (and many of the other less characters at the firm) did 5 to 6 years after we graduated. That picture is just not clear to so many law students, but reading a realistic portrayal of firm life through the lens of a relatable character seems like it would have so much value.
The nature of Ellie's and Mable's friendship was so compelling. The "best friend" relationship for millennials is so important because of the tenuous nature of connection in the digital era. When friendships can span coasts and are played out over social media, knowing who your true friends are is so hard. And when a relationship can become as close as or closer than family, the degree of betrayal and hurt that is possible is magnified. Lin shows all of this through Mable and Ellie's relationship in a highly realistic but compelling way. I haven't read any other books that capture the importance and vulnerability of that type of friendship for people our generation.
Best of all, reading You Can't Stay Here Forever taught me things about myself that I didn't even know I needed to learn. I entered a 5-year relationship that closely paralleled Ian's and Ellie's during the pressure cooker of my first year of law school. Reading the story of Ellie and Ian and seeing how Ellie fell into and stayed in the relationship with Ian through an objective lens helped me understand more about myself. The very realistic, objective portrayal of how that kind of relationship can start, and continue, in You Can't Stay Here Forever is something I will continue taking with me in understanding myself and my life. I have rarely read a book that provided me such a powerful opportunity for self reflection, and I honestly feel grateful to have read it.
August 2, 2023
As usual the good reads stars fall short of more nuanced storygraph rankings and I am entirely inconsistent in my curve. This was completely fine. A breezy enjoyable read that had some funny similarities re big law etc. Nothing special but nothing bad. It was the book version of White Lotus Season 2
February 19, 2023
Life is complicated and so is love. Excellent debut! Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for the ARC in exchange for honest review.
May 21, 2023
2.5 stars
Katherine Lin’s debut novel has a killer first sentence, an interesting premise, and a lush setting. But for me, this slow burn of a book fizzled out instead of building to a full-fledged fire.
After the death of her husband, Ellie Huang discovers that he was having a years-long affair with another lawyer at her firm. She impulsively decides to cash in his life insurance for a vacation with her best friend, Mable, to a luxurious resort in the French Riviera. This is a slow-paced story full of interesting observations about friendships, marriage, and race.
I enjoyed the first part of the book. The set up was promising and the characters were flawed in interesting ways. But as the story went on, I felt it never really reached its full potential. It appeared the novel was slowly building its way to an implosion of sorts; I expected repercussions for Ellie’s erratic and thoughtless behavior. But there weren’t any serious repercussions, even for a particularly glaring offense that I won’t reveal for spoiler reasons. Instead, the story felt anti-climactic. Ellie (and the other characters) did a lot of self-indulgent navel gazing, and what started out as a page-turner for me became almost boring, like reading a transcript of a therapy session instead of watching actual interactions between friends.
As a character, Ellie didn’t show much growth through the novel other than recognizing her own passivity. Sure, she started to take more control of her life, but in sort of a reckless and not particularly admirable way. There was also a subplot where Ellie battled her fear of the ocean, which felt significant early on but wasn’t ever fully developed.
I do think Katherine Lin’s writing has potential, and I appreciated this book’s running theme that there’s more depth and complexity to people than what you see at surface level. But unfortunately, overall this one fell a little flat for me.
Thanks to Harper and NetGalley for the DRC!
And to whoever designed the cover: it’s absolutely GORGEOUS.
Katherine Lin’s debut novel has a killer first sentence, an interesting premise, and a lush setting. But for me, this slow burn of a book fizzled out instead of building to a full-fledged fire.
After the death of her husband, Ellie Huang discovers that he was having a years-long affair with another lawyer at her firm. She impulsively decides to cash in his life insurance for a vacation with her best friend, Mable, to a luxurious resort in the French Riviera. This is a slow-paced story full of interesting observations about friendships, marriage, and race.
I enjoyed the first part of the book. The set up was promising and the characters were flawed in interesting ways. But as the story went on, I felt it never really reached its full potential. It appeared the novel was slowly building its way to an implosion of sorts; I expected repercussions for Ellie’s erratic and thoughtless behavior. But there weren’t any serious repercussions, even for a particularly glaring offense that I won’t reveal for spoiler reasons. Instead, the story felt anti-climactic. Ellie (and the other characters) did a lot of self-indulgent navel gazing, and what started out as a page-turner for me became almost boring, like reading a transcript of a therapy session instead of watching actual interactions between friends.
As a character, Ellie didn’t show much growth through the novel other than recognizing her own passivity. Sure, she started to take more control of her life, but in sort of a reckless and not particularly admirable way. There was also a subplot where Ellie battled her fear of the ocean, which felt significant early on but wasn’t ever fully developed.
I do think Katherine Lin’s writing has potential, and I appreciated this book’s running theme that there’s more depth and complexity to people than what you see at surface level. But unfortunately, overall this one fell a little flat for me.
Thanks to Harper and NetGalley for the DRC!
And to whoever designed the cover: it’s absolutely GORGEOUS.
August 29, 2023
On the face of it, the story is quite simple. A newly married Chinese American woman learns that her husband has just died in a car accident. She also learns that he had been cheating on her for at least the past 2 years, while they were still dating but not yet married. She and her best friend decide on a whim to go to Antibes after seeing a commercial and stay at the most luxurious 5 star hotel using the life insurance money.
There was so much nuance though between the characters, between friends who've been friends for forever and people who were strangers as of a few days ago but with whom they've spent the past few days non-stop. I think inherently we feel that it's those that have known us for years who can be the only holders of our deepest, darkest secrets, that which we fear, who've known us through all our relationships, who've had years of time to debate every possible thing such that they've created the best approximation of a model in their minds of who we really are. And yet, it's shocking when a stranger pierces through the veil and nails you against the wall, having read you like an open book.
Our MC is working through her grief, ignoring work, trying to hold two truths in her head, that she loved her husband and that he may not have been the best to her at all times. And she's learning how to release a lot of the reigns that she's been holding close to her, learning that she can tread water without seeing bottom and not need constant reassurance that she can make it.
I really enjoyed this read and couldn't recommend it more if you're into Ferrante meets White Lotus vibes
There was so much nuance though between the characters, between friends who've been friends for forever and people who were strangers as of a few days ago but with whom they've spent the past few days non-stop. I think inherently we feel that it's those that have known us for years who can be the only holders of our deepest, darkest secrets, that which we fear, who've known us through all our relationships, who've had years of time to debate every possible thing such that they've created the best approximation of a model in their minds of who we really are. And yet, it's shocking when a stranger pierces through the veil and nails you against the wall, having read you like an open book.
Our MC is working through her grief, ignoring work, trying to hold two truths in her head, that she loved her husband and that he may not have been the best to her at all times. And she's learning how to release a lot of the reigns that she's been holding close to her, learning that she can tread water without seeing bottom and not need constant reassurance that she can make it.
I really enjoyed this read and couldn't recommend it more if you're into Ferrante meets White Lotus vibes
July 17, 2023
I thought the first half of the book was going somewhere but the second half and the ending left me thinking -
What just happened ? And what was the purpose ?
What just happened ? And what was the purpose ?
July 10, 2023
I enjoyed the beginning of this book as it begins with a “bang” which immediately had me interested. What Ellie discovers after her husband’s death should have elicited a more emotional reaction than it did. While many topics are covered in this book, including infidelity, mother/daughter relationships and female friendships, I think they could have been flushed out more.
I think too much time was spent on the encounters with Fauna and Robbie and that part of the book was a bit boring to me. My other issue was the manner in which Ellie let her employer know her future plans; to me it was immature and certainly not a sign of female empowerment.
Congratulations to the author on her debut novel, wishing her much success with her future books.
I think too much time was spent on the encounters with Fauna and Robbie and that part of the book was a bit boring to me. My other issue was the manner in which Ellie let her employer know her future plans; to me it was immature and certainly not a sign of female empowerment.
Congratulations to the author on her debut novel, wishing her much success with her future books.
May 10, 2023
Thank you to Harper Collins Publishers for sending the ARE of this book to me.
The novel was interesting at the beginning and had a compelling story. But it became filled with too many psychological games between characters to be enjoyable. I like to be entertained when reading fiction; reading this book was work.
The novel was interesting at the beginning and had a compelling story. But it became filled with too many psychological games between characters to be enjoyable. I like to be entertained when reading fiction; reading this book was work.
June 27, 2023
This book started out well, I thought it was interesting and wanted to keep reading, up to a point. It just seemed to stall toward the end and as I grew closer and closer to the last page I kept thinking something better happen fast to wrap it up. Needless to say, nothing happened, it just ended. I totally wasted time I will never get back, hoping for more.
June 13, 2023
I wanted to love this book, based on the premise but it was a huge disappointment. The story fell flat and the characters were one dimensional at best
January 22, 2024
I don’t have any idea what this book is about? Awful.
July 28, 2024
Having just finished this, a few things are clear to me:
-This was a character study
-This was an observation of grief, loss, and betrayal
-This was also an exploration of friendship and its bounds
-Why so many people thought: “what’s the point?!” upon finishing
I’ve seen a lot of people criticize this for the fact that this doesn’t build up to any big epiphany or shift or self-realization moment. That there is no point. But my take is that that’s exactly the point. Sometimes there is nothing about grief and loss and betrayal that makes sense. And as much as we want to make it make sense, there is nothing that we can do to force that to happen. Sometimes things are just messy and painful and we have to accept them and push through. Sometimes there is no reasoning with it. Sometimes there is no taming it or conquering grief. Sometimes it just exists and we have to learn to exist beside it.
I have also seen a lot of criticism about the fact that the MC is unlikeable. And she is. But that’s never been a problem for me. And I think it’s also true to the circumstance. People who are grieving can be assholes, plain and simple. Grief can change people and force them to become terrible, because they have had this terrible thing thrust into their hands and they keep desperately trying to give it away to other people, including people that love and care for them. To me, it’s totally understandable that someone dealing with extreme grief and betrayal wouldn’t know how to interact with the world anymore, because the world as they saw it had completely disappeared. They would reasonably lash out at those around them. They would act nonsensically, because grief is not something that makes sense. Betrayal is not something that can be reasoned with. And I get it. But for those of you who are looking for a likeable MC, this isn’t it. Fair warning.
I will say, that I agree with a lot of other reviews that this maybe doesn’t take it far enough. I was hoping that the MC (whose husband has just died and discovers he had been cheating on her) would really unravel or become unhinged. Instead, the MC here felt drawn and restrained for the majority of the book, which for the sake of storytelling wasn’t as entertaining as the alternatives. But for many people I suppose that is what grief looks like. So I guess I understand the criticisms of this from a narrative perspective, but I can’t really agree that what those people wanted is always true to life. I would describe this as incredibly nuanced, subtle, and intriguing. One of those books where everything and nothing happens.
I could see this appealing to Sally Rooney fans, and if you liked her books, maybe give this one a try.
-This was a character study
-This was an observation of grief, loss, and betrayal
-This was also an exploration of friendship and its bounds
-Why so many people thought: “what’s the point?!” upon finishing
I’ve seen a lot of people criticize this for the fact that this doesn’t build up to any big epiphany or shift or self-realization moment. That there is no point. But my take is that that’s exactly the point. Sometimes there is nothing about grief and loss and betrayal that makes sense. And as much as we want to make it make sense, there is nothing that we can do to force that to happen. Sometimes things are just messy and painful and we have to accept them and push through. Sometimes there is no reasoning with it. Sometimes there is no taming it or conquering grief. Sometimes it just exists and we have to learn to exist beside it.
I have also seen a lot of criticism about the fact that the MC is unlikeable. And she is. But that’s never been a problem for me. And I think it’s also true to the circumstance. People who are grieving can be assholes, plain and simple. Grief can change people and force them to become terrible, because they have had this terrible thing thrust into their hands and they keep desperately trying to give it away to other people, including people that love and care for them. To me, it’s totally understandable that someone dealing with extreme grief and betrayal wouldn’t know how to interact with the world anymore, because the world as they saw it had completely disappeared. They would reasonably lash out at those around them. They would act nonsensically, because grief is not something that makes sense. Betrayal is not something that can be reasoned with. And I get it. But for those of you who are looking for a likeable MC, this isn’t it. Fair warning.
I will say, that I agree with a lot of other reviews that this maybe doesn’t take it far enough. I was hoping that the MC (whose husband has just died and discovers he had been cheating on her) would really unravel or become unhinged. Instead, the MC here felt drawn and restrained for the majority of the book, which for the sake of storytelling wasn’t as entertaining as the alternatives. But for many people I suppose that is what grief looks like. So I guess I understand the criticisms of this from a narrative perspective, but I can’t really agree that what those people wanted is always true to life. I would describe this as incredibly nuanced, subtle, and intriguing. One of those books where everything and nothing happens.
I could see this appealing to Sally Rooney fans, and if you liked her books, maybe give this one a try.
July 5, 2025
You Can’t Stay Here Forever by Katherine Lin (2023)
✅ borrowed from the library
A contemplative look at complicated feelings about grief and female friendship set against a luxury resort & impromptu vacation backdrop.
Ellie is a young lawyer, recently married, fresh into the life she’s always planned for when her charismatic husband dies in a car crash on his way to work from his secret mistress’s house and her life changes forever. Struggling to understand how she got here and where to go next, Ellie takes the substantial life insurance payout and blows it all on a luxury vacation with her best friend in Antibes, France at the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc.
What follows is a quiet conversation about life goals, heartbreak, loyalty and grief, the personas we put on while on vacation, and whether we have an ability to change and evolve when we’re still seen as the same version of ourselves in our closest friend’s view.
I love books set at hotels and stories centred on the complicated dynamics of female friendship so this really worked for me even though sometimes it felt a little observationally didactic and unfinished in terms of the relationships they build while on vacation… but then again that feels kind of authentic too, in the weirdly intimate relationships you can build with strangers in certain circumstances…
I really enjoyed this one and read it quickly, and I’ll be thinking of this friendship and trip for a while, I think.
4⭐️
✅ borrowed from the library
A contemplative look at complicated feelings about grief and female friendship set against a luxury resort & impromptu vacation backdrop.
Ellie is a young lawyer, recently married, fresh into the life she’s always planned for when her charismatic husband dies in a car crash on his way to work from his secret mistress’s house and her life changes forever. Struggling to understand how she got here and where to go next, Ellie takes the substantial life insurance payout and blows it all on a luxury vacation with her best friend in Antibes, France at the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc.
What follows is a quiet conversation about life goals, heartbreak, loyalty and grief, the personas we put on while on vacation, and whether we have an ability to change and evolve when we’re still seen as the same version of ourselves in our closest friend’s view.
I love books set at hotels and stories centred on the complicated dynamics of female friendship so this really worked for me even though sometimes it felt a little observationally didactic and unfinished in terms of the relationships they build while on vacation… but then again that feels kind of authentic too, in the weirdly intimate relationships you can build with strangers in certain circumstances…
I really enjoyed this one and read it quickly, and I’ll be thinking of this friendship and trip for a while, I think.
4⭐️
May 6, 2023
I was so hooked from the first line: I was waiting for the J train when I found out my husband was dead. And the last line was as satisfying as the first. This book is about so much more than grief and loss and Ellie (born Eleanor Huang) and Ian Anderson's marriage; it's also about secrets, and Ellie's relationship with her best friend Mabel Chou, and how fraught the mother-daughter connection can be, and it's told in such an engaging way I couldn't put it down all day. The author touches on so many Asian-American issues, tropes, and quirks that I absolutely loved and just wish she'd delved into further. I can't believe this is Katherine Lin's first novel, I love her characters and the way they developed forward positively, her descriptions of the Bay Area, NYC, DC and Antibes were transportive, and I can't wait to read more from her.
May 8, 2023
Love love loved this novel! Finished it in just 2 days - I was really captivated by the relationship between Ellie and Mabel, and how it informed their outlook on the world and themselves, as well as the central foursome relationship in the novel. There's also nothing better than a beautifully-painted setting, and the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc is just as much of a character in its own right. Really great read, especially for summer, and I can't wait to read more from this author.
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