Pepperoni, Jalapeños & LSD

by P.H. Mountain

"Reading Mountain's personal accounts about run-ins with the law, marathon sexual escapades, and other terrible decisions made under the influence of LSD or copious amounts of alcohol seems to stir up a certain nostalgia for that time long ago when life seemed wide open. A hilarious and thoughtful work..."
- Reedsy Discovery

At eighteen, Paul Mountain pissed on his academic scholarship to the University of Minnesota and fled to Boulder, Colorado without money, family or prospects. In a cramped one-bedroom apartment with two other dudes, Paul's life was youth unbridled, impulsive, and without remorse.

Within a year, Paul finds himself in a tiny cabin with his new girlfriend in a Rocky Mountain ghost town, convinced he can write his way out of poverty before buying his first legal drink. He was wrong. He was wrong about a great many things.

In his whirlwind comedic memoir, Paul escorts the reader on his rabid quest for anything to avoid the looming bondage of adult responsibility. Set against the backdrop of the final decade before the tech revolution, Pepperoni, Jalapenos & LSD is a story filled with women, drugs, old motorcycles, speed junkies, crime, sex, mountaintops, poverty, more sex, long blasts down empty ski slopes and laugh out loud happiness. More than anything, it's a story of embracing recklessness, for as Paul notes, "The day will soon come when the cigarettes finally take hold, the doctor shouts, 'Cancer!', and God's gavel falls, sentencing me to death and who the fuck knows what else. Probably hell, but I'm hoping for a clerical error, the great celestial typo."

282 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 11, 2022

About the author

P.H. Mountain was partially educated at the University of Minnesota before earning his undergraduate degree from the Boulder Public Library and his master's from The Sundown Saloon. At 29, he founded a software company that continues to thrive. He has lived in three different vehicles, fifteen different states, and five different countries, but he generally considers Colorado home. In a moment of clarity, Paul married his wife Stella in 2001. To this day, he still considers her the luckiest woman alive.

Reviews

[Whitney Price · Rating 4 out of 5]

A laugh out loud coming of age tale told by the hero himself. Looking back on his own turbulent youth, author Paul Mountain recollects his 18th year, in which he and two buddies take off from their childhood home of frigid Minnesota to begin the newest chapter of their lives in sun and skin drenched Colorado. Mountain’s memoir is a frankly honest retelling of some of his formative life experiences, related in a way that is both strangely familiar and recklessly hysterical.

As with any classic example of fine literature, the book’s opening line clearly sets the overall tone; “ I think I’m gonna barf.” The author’s wry writ is so evident throughout, that even the copyrights page is infused with Mountain’s frank style of humor. But while the author is clearly great at parties, there are ample signs of his also being highly philosophical. Take this rather brooding excerpt; “Once a man has satisfied all his essential needs, he must either expand his definition of need or become obsessed with the meaning of life, haunted by the probability that there is none.” Woah there, Pablo, that’s heavy. But don’t let the profound musings deter you from the novel’s otherwise clever punchiness. Profundity and wit both abide in this man’s biography. If any fault can be found, one could point out the lack of an overall climatic resolution. Although nearly all the events recounted feel resolved in the end, one childhood story does leave us wondering: Did Dad ever notice the missing candy?

Mountain’s frankly honest writing style is unapologetically candid. He brings his past alive in all its sordid, youthful arrogance; and with it, that of his readers. When describing a fight with a girlfriend, Mountain easily makes jealously look both absurdly comical and scarily familiar as the self-buoying, innate trait within all of us of jumping to the worst of conclusions. His portrayal of the young’s unflinchingly egocentric perception of the world is always spot on. While pondering imminent drug use, Paul writes, “There were so many things in the world I shouldn’t do, but all too often, those were the exact things I wanted to do.”

Reading Mountain’s personal accounts about run-ins with the law, marathon sexual escapades, and other terrible decisions made under the influence of LSD or copious amounts of alcohol seems to stir up a certain nostalgia for that time long ago when life seemed wide open. A hilarious and thoughtful work for anyone who can look back and recall how the world of an eighteen-year-old felt jaw-dropping and unstoppable.

[Christa Grosvenor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saw this book on a random Facebook ad and was hooked by the name & cover .

I could tell IMMEDIATELY that the author was a Stephen King fan before he said it . His writing style mimics the Great King and I was so here for it !!

I found the book to be well written . I admired a memoir that was able to speak of the past in a way that gave it a very present feel . The writing was very alive and energetic and it kept me engaged the entire way through .

I think that people who can tell their story from a place of such honesty are to be admired , for sure . There was never a dull moment and the story was told with such enthusiasm that it continued to be entertaining .

I did feel like we talked excessively about the authors genitals . It was somewhere around “little coke cock” that I felt we could maybe reel that in . 😂 However , I am no teenage boy and never have been (as far as I know😂) maybe it really was just that prevalent ?

Overall I thought this a really good book and I will definitely continue on with the next one .

[Paige Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don’t let the cover & AC/DC lyrics deter you, this is a deep dive into a first-person tour de debauchery: a crass but well-spoken dude zooted in The Big Easy’s airport, sad but funny adventures. Reminds me a bit of Thommy Waite’s Any Day You Can Die w/ more @ss jokes. Since the software engineer is 40 going on 20, he reminds me of a cuddlier McAfee. The prose is ironically philosophic about Nola shootings or secretary assault, always coming at it w/ nihilistic misdirection. I just wish it was cut back a third so I know where this story is taking us sooner. Calling beer “brain coolant” has provides good characterization. It’s meta in that the dude wants to write a more coherent, Midwest Fear & Loathing. Writers writing about writing feels masturbatory to me. That on top of the over-detail of even a junk drawer just has me craving something sleeker.

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am pleasantly surprised, and the direction P.H. Mountain took while writing this novel. I expected personal struggle and triumph, but telling this story took it to a new level. At first, I was a little concerned about how graphically detailed this book was and thought the book was about a whole other topic altogether. Still, Mountain brilliantly connected each central plot point, and the book was exciting. I was particularly fond of Mountain’s continual use of imagery, clearly painting a unique picture in the reader’s mind as if he knew us and we were part of his life story. I did appreciate the satirical approach to Mountain’s writing style and language use, even though it was dramatically graphic and adult-only humor. It was also effortless to lose track of reading the book, and I found it extremely difficult to understand the story when that happened. Once I found my way back into the story, I knew it had to take all of my patience and focus on staying connected with the story.

Overall, the humorous, satirical, and reality-driven story comprised of Mountain’s personal experiences are ones readers will relate to or trigger memories that readers will want to forget. This book gets 3.5 stars.

[Manish Gaur · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a personal account of P.H. Mountain, who was partially educated at the University of Minnesota before earning his undergraduate degree from the Boulder Public Library and his master's from The Sundown Saloon. This book is based in Colorado, which the writer considers his home.
This book is about a teenager who is hustling in Colorado with his friends, White and Chuck. He is just like any other teenager living his life, partying, enjoying, and making friends. The writer did not have a great childhood, but he's a tough guy who's finding his way in life. He has described the challenges he faced while thriving in Colorado.
This story is full of thrills, adventure, romance, drama, and whatnot. It has all the elements that one could dream of. The writing is crisp and clear. The writer has erotically described his sensual and intense relationship with lonnie, his green-eyed, beautiful girlfriend. Their relationship is highly erotic and intense. He was also a drug addict, so he has also described his experiences with LSD and acid. All in all, this book is a must-read for all those who love reading, and this can't be missed out.

[Jolene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pepperoni, jalapeños, and lsd is a very honest and straightforward telling of a life that may be considered rough by many.

The author is blunt, crude, and at times graphic with his experiences including drugs, drinking, and sex. So if any of those topics are hard for you to read about you may want to pass. It was funny, frustrating, and heartbreaking all at once. I sometimes felt myself rooting for the author but many times wanting to smack him and tell him to get it together.

Even though my young adulthood wasn't as hard-core I definitely could relate. Especially when you first move out of your parent's home and start experimenting with who you are and with substances.

I appreciated the honesty and while I look back on my party years mostly with happy memories it is a little jarring to think where it could've gone.

Ultimately, it is a story of growth and life and perspective. Again, if you are sensitive to any of the above topics you might want to skip it. But if you had a youth of partying, drugs, and adventure or maybe you're currently in that phase of life I recommend giving it a read!

[Richard Kravitz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was recommended by a friend and I had just gotten a gift card from my mother-in-law and so I ordered it on-line as an e-book, my first! It was cool to be able to make the font bigger as I read mostly Large Print and thus my selection is somewhat limited. Anyhow, it went fine, finished the 237 pages in 3 days.

The story was good and made me laugh. Also, I lived in Boulder 83-84 (25 y.o.) right after graduating college in San Diego. I bounced around between 5 jobs, lived in 5 different places, brought my girlfriend out, which went south, and then hightailed it back home after 12 months. I had a great experience, my friend sent me lots of Northern California bud, did lots of climbing at Eldo and Lumpy Ridge, made some interesting friends and of course, met a few girls. So, I could relate to Paul and many of his experiences.

All in all, a good story and that was the point. Lots of weed, alcohol, acid and SEX!! Not sure about having a teenager read it, but I guess kids know about everything nowadays anyway, lol

I'm gonna check out #2 right now, it's available on Kindle, which I've been wanting to try.

[Kathrin Spinnler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pepperoni, Jalapenos & LSD by P.H. Mountain is a memoir of the author's first year spent away from home. Together with two friends, he moves to Boulder, Colorado, with the intention of working a graveyard shift at a small gas station and starting his writing career. He soon gets caught up in the local social life and meets a colorful cast of characters.

The book touches on a lot of interesting topics related to that phase between childhood and growing up, when we are endlessly optimistic and strong but don't always make the right decisions. It also chronicles a young man's first long-term relationship and the struggles he encounters due to his difficult childhood.

I really enjoyed this memoir because it was vivid and fast-paced. I particularly liked the author's smooth style, which made it easy to get lost in what was happening. I'm not usually into stories that feature heavy drinking and drug use. But while this was a prominent part of the book, it didn't feel like the main point, and I really enjoyed following Paul as he got his first taste of life on his own terms.

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining and Honest

What I enjoyed most about this book was that it felt like an honest recount of a life lived. There didn’t seem to be any blatant hiding of details that can sometimes be present in such a book (that should have been obvious from the title). I will also say that I found it to be very entertaining and an easy and quick read. If you are not a fan of profanity or don't enjoy descriptive content relating to certain subject matter, this may not be the book for you. While this book does have instances of language or stories that some may find derogatory, it feels very deliberate and necessary in order to continue with the honest nature of the book. In terms of the writing style, I found it to be perfect for the purpose, at times it felt as if I was a fly on the wall, while other times it was written like a work of fiction. The author did an excellent job of incorporating dialogue to give context to certain events or to convey thoughts. I enjoyed this book greatly, with the exception of periods of ineloquence, I would say it shared similarities with the work of Hunter Thompson, that could also have something to do with the subject matter.

[Emily Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye opener!

This story was so easy to read. The words flowed like magic and the characters unmistakably real. I didn't even realize the story was a form of memoir until halfway In.

The story follows going Paul as he ventures far from home. He struggles to find a balance between his drug and beer addled self and discovering a bigger meaning.

His dreams of becoming a writer while struggling to make ends is super familiar to me! As a writer, I've often worked side jobs to pay the bills, and even worked as a janitor like Paul!

Honest, raw, and beautiful, this book is perfect for people of any age (although a over maybe 16 due to sexual and drug content). But everyone will relate to this young man's dreams and struggles. I loved it!

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you #Netgalley for this advanced copy!

The title is what pulled me in! I was unsure what I was about to embark on with this read. This ended up being a hilariously read about Paul right after high school leaving Minnesota with his two best friends and starting their next journey in a move to Colorado. No jobs, no school, no parents. The three boys shared a one bedroom apartment and drank all day and Paul quickly became a fan of LSD. We read about Paul's journey from relationships with girls, boys, his siblings, a druggy who visits his work during the graveyard ship and so much more. So many laugh out loud moments! I want to know what happens next!

[Misty Knapp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Warning: This book contains strong sexual components, heavy drinking, and drug usage.

The story is of the author's journey from youth to adulthood. I was surprised that a 40+ year old still had drinking binges, to the point of passing out. The book is well written and he paints a picture so well that you sometimes feel as if you're there, looking on.

Unfortunately, unlike the other reviewers, I didn't experience any of this. There were times I felt myself talking to the character, encouraging him in some scenes, and yelling at him for being a numskull, in others.
Overall, if you DID have a youth and adulthood like his, then this book is for you, so you can reminiscence!

[Purnima Khanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

P. H. Mountain's "Pepperoni, Jalepenos and LSD"is a wonderful, fun-filled, adventurous, romantic and at the same time hilarious read.
Paul Mountain, the protagonist, a teenager leaves both his scholarship and a bright and certain future to follow a wild, reckless and an uncertain life. The book is his memoir, and justifying the title of the book, full of spice, sexuality and drugs. Justifying his imprudent character he runs away from all his responsibilities and commitment. The narrative is super crisp and clear, and so vividly written and weaved that the reader feels as if he is seeing the characters live which makes this an engaging and engrossing read.

[Ed Malaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked reading Pepperoni, Jalapeños, and LSD. There is a lot of talk about drugs, including detailed descriptions of using needles, but I wasn’t too surprised after reading the title, which I think was a perfect choice, and perfectly sums up the book and its craziness. I enjoyed many of the musical references in the book, and it reminded me of when I first moved out on my own. I didn’t have the same experiences, but I knew people that did. I liked all of the characters, and the dialogue is excellent.

I think anyone will enjoy it as a good story, but you will likely like it even better if you are a little older and can remember 1990 when the story’s events take place.

[Kriss Judd · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you enjoy crass, drug-filled memoirs, this is for you.

While I appreciate the authors honesty in this memoir, I wan't prepared for all the vulgarity, and I'm not referring to the swearing. I swear as much as the next person. The cavalier cheating on his girlfriend really bothered me, especially with a woman who purported to be a friend of his girlfriend's. All the drug use bothered me as well - even with LSD in the title, I wan't expecting that much. Over all, I just didn't enjoy this book.

[Rob Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Read

"PJL" is a captivating coming-of-age novel that takes readers on an unconventional journey from childhood to adulthood. The author, Mr. Mountain, skillfully captures the complexities and nuances of this transformative period, drawing inspiration from the literary genius of the renowned Hunter S. Thompson. The well-written narrative delves into the less traditional paths individuals may take as they navigate the challenges and discoveries of growing up, offering a refreshing and insightful perspective on the human experience.

[A.M. Merrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy reading memoirs, and this book did not disappoint. It was a fairly quick read, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. The author made me feel like I was there in the book, and it was easy to follow along with the narration. I would recommend this book to friends to read. There were parts in the beginning that were hard to get through, but once I got past those it went quickly and easily.

[Hanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book from start to finish! It was laugh out loud funny! A little raunchy at times, too! It made me nostalgic about the late 80s and how carefree a young man's life could be if he wanted freedom from parents, school, rules, etc. I recommend it people who lived the 80s and to young people that want to get lost in a young man's adventures. Can't wait for the next installment!

[Kelly Ratzlaff · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't think of one person I would recommend this book to. Crass, filled with nothing but sex, drugs, alcohol, and rebellion. Maybe I would have enjoyed this more in my wilder, much younger days. Now I just want back the few hours it took me to read.

[Jason Weber · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars

Quick, easy read about a teenage boy who moves from Minnesota to Colorado with 2 of his friends.
Soon there after, both friends leave, and he drinks, smokes, and drops acid…. A lot! Lol
I liked this book, looking forward to part 2!

[Tonya Hollinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny read, albeit maybe a little too "colorful" at times. Given the title its expected, right? Depending on how and where you spent your late teen/early adult days (particularly in the 80's) you might relate to the story in some way.

[Luna Jordan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can say that this book wasn’t meant for me. I have no experience with heavy drinking, drug abuse, or many sexual escapades, so I can’t relate to anything that’s written here. The extra star is literally just for the cover font; notice how I didn’t say art, I said font.

[curt casperson · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book I've read in a long time

I absolutely loved this book. However it kind of left me hanging. I need more! This book has inspired me to move to the mountains!

[Ryan Huff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a little put off by the Hunter Thompson shtick the book started off with but once the story started it was pretty captivating. Looking forward to volume 2.

[Briana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun, easy read.

[Michelle Becker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lot of emphasis on illicit behavior - basically skimmed the end. Not a book for anyone with addiction issues as it never seems to realize it might not be a good idea to be fall down drunk all the time. Maybe in book 2.