Last week I turned 29. Along with the usual homemade Victoria sponge, helium balloon and Selfridges gift vouchers, my Mum's birthday present to me was the threat that if I'm not engaged by my 30th birthday, she's sending me off to the Motherland to find a fresh-from-the-Desh husband.
When Zara's Mum puts together the most archaic of arranged marriage resources (not exactly the romcom-worthy love story she had envisioned for herself), she is soon exhausted by her family's failed attempts to set her up with every vaguely suitable Abdul, Ahmed and Farook that they can find. Zara decides to take matters into her own hands. How hard can it be to find a husband at twenty-nine?
With just a year to go, time is of the essence, so Zara joins a dating app and signs up for speed dating. She meets Hamza, a kind British Egyptian who shares her values and would make a good husband. Zara knows that not all marriages are based on love (or lust) at first sight but struggles with the lack of spark. Particularly when she can't stop thinking of someone else . . .
As her next birthday looms, and family pressure intensifies, Zara knows she must make a decision, but will she make the right one?
I have a lot to say about this book. Unfortunately it was a huge let down. I was really looking forward to reading a book with muslim rep all about my own desi culture. But this book...... First of all, this book very much felt like it was being written for a white audience. Yes she incorporates the desi culture into it, but it just felt so flat? Most of the time culture or religion was mentioned, the main character, Zara, had so much internal hatred for it. She went on about how judging her community was, just to act exactly the same way and try to justify it because she was different???
"It was like I'd accidentally gone back two hundred years, before feminism, blm or even common decency" Yikes, this line. Whilst I, a person who herself is muslim and desi and understand what you're trying to say, I know many outside readers wont. It comes off in such a bad way, like you are blaming Islam, when Islam has always given rights to women and black people. A-lot of the wording in this book was off. Religion was mainly mentioned in a bad light and any religious person prospect or family member was put down, despite Zara herself saying she wanted a religious husband.
I mean her sister put on a hijab as a disguise which was meant to make her look ugly? and she was immediately uncomfortable after putting it on? and their first thought was about getting hate crimed? like what???
I get Zara is supposed to be desperate to find a husband, but her desperation in this book came off in a bad way. Especially since she is supposed to be a muslim women and the author wanted that to be apart of her identity.
This book started to give off white saviour vibes and very much felt like it was not written for our own community but rather created for a white audience wanting to read about our community.
Zara is the 29yo daughter of a Bangladeshi British family (North London, not Tower Hamlets: this is a book extremely grounded in its place). She's a moderately observant Muslim, and takes her religion and culture seriously, while also holding modern British attitudes about eg feminism that make for uneasy bedfellows. There's a lot here about the difficulty of reconciling cultures and fitting different expectations together, and a lot of people with wildly divergent views on how to live and indeed how other people should. Very like reality in fact, and I hugely liked that almost nobody is an outright villain and absolutely nobody is entirely in the right.
Zara is a bit Bridget Jones without the booze: chaotic life, series of terrible decisions. She does a lot of romcom heroine things (including bumping into people and spilling things, my kingdom for one single romcom heroine with basic spatial awareness) and, more to the point, pursuing her goal of getting married before she's 30 with more enthusiasm than sense. The online dating is wonderfully done and the traditional matchmaking equally painful, and the sense of a desperate hope and willingness to ignore red flags is very well done and relatable.
The core of the story is Zara's twin track relationships: one with the design guy at work who is very attractive but not a real option (Muslim, but not observant, Turkish when her parents want her to marry a Bangladeshi, drinks, plays the field) and one with a decent guy who ticks almost all her boxes but with whom she has no spark, and who is just a little bit on the controlling side (as in 'pays for the meal you said you'd pay for, turns up without an invitation'). Zara needs to decide if she's going to pick Hamza as absolutely the right choice on paper and hope to fall in love later, or to pursue something with Adam that's much more passionate but which her family would really not like. She kind of tries to do both.
Spoilers abound
I really enjoyed this on its own terms--I'm not a huge fan of romcom shenanigans but Zara's an entertaining mess, I liked the lively secondary cast and the very well drawn settings, and the central conflicts were chewy and difficult. I'm not sure I'd call it a romance novel, but as women's fiction it's a very enjoyable read.
My review is on my website https://bookread2day.wordpress.com/20... My biggest shout out today is buy your self a copy of Finding Mr Perfectly Fine, about Zara why she has to find a husband.
When the pressure’s on to find someone, does it matter if he’s not the one? I loved reading Tasneem Abdul-Rashid’s debut novel Finding Mr Perfectly Fine, as I’m interested in reading fictional stories about different cultures.
Zara Choudhury, comes from a Bengali background who still lives with her parents and grandmother in London. Zara has just turned 29, and the race is on, she needs to find a husband, quickly before she is 30.
If Zara doesn’t find a husband by 30th birthday her mother will send her on a flight to Bangladesh straight to Shahjala airport, with an arranged marriage, to find a fresh from the Desh husband.
With the help from her mother and her sister, Zara downloads the MuslimMate app, to find a husband. She puts together a Bengali marriage CV under her family’s strict directions. I was totally into this story to see if Zara can find her Mr right online.
Zara works in a department, Community Engagement, where she once thought an attractive colleague Adam who is Turkish, might have possibly been the one guy for her.
Zara knows she can’t just meet any man without her mother’s approval. But she meets Hamza a British Egyptian with a lovely Arabic accent at a chocolate making event. He is nothing more than real proper gentleman who really likes Zara. But I must say it’s a shame she doesn’t fancy him.
It isn’t long before Zara starts to get the men that’s is interested in her, all mixed up, causing some disastrously events.
My heart raced along with reading on how is Zara going to get out of the disaster that unfolds, and as I just love happy ending, I was still thinking to myself will Zara ever meet her Mr right, husband?
I am always looking for Muslim rep and I feel its quite hard to do. You are either too strict or too modern and you can't make everyone happy, however I felt this represented me TO THE T.
I was highlightinf sections and sending it to my sister's, laughing at the inside jokes, picking up all the funny things that our families do, it was just brilliant in that sense.
Then you get the plot itself and I loved it. Its relevant, it's a plot that we don't get a lot in this community (just carefree, fun!) and I am here for it!!! I was Hooked. I didnt want it to end.
Speaking of the ending EXCUSE ME. Book 2???????
LOVED the writing the most, I will now read anything by this author!
I am still mad at the ending of this book and was on the verge of giving the book 2 stars just for that ending.
I found it a bit weird that swear words were censored like just don't use them if you do not want to type them.
The plot of the book was quite good and relatable. As a south Asian woman coming up to my 30s I understand the pressure of society to get married so I was actually interested in Zara's story of choosing Mr. perfectly fine or someone who she might love. This is why I was torn over my annoyance for Zara leading the men on in the book but also I understood why she did it. Ultimately as south Asian's we want to choose the person our parents would approve of and I felt like that is what Zara ultimately was trying to find rather than her own happiness. It did confuse me though how Zara's Mr. perfectly fine (Hamza) was everything she wanted yet she felt no attractiveness to him. Just personally, if someone matches all my criteria then I would for sure feel somewhat attracted to them but maybe it isn't for everyone. In addition, Hamza had his faults but it was like Zara didn't realise the flaws and if his flaws had been used to justify her unattractiveness I would have been on her side but she never comments on his controllingness, how he put her in awkward situations without her consent or knowledge and how he basically ghosted her for ages. If the author has made Zara not like him for that I could understand but she didn't and that was a let down. I enjoyed Adam in the book and found his relationship with Zara to be cute but it felt more like crush/lust rather than I want to be and marry this man. So personally I couldn't root for any of the two men.
But the reason I am so mad at this book is the ending. This is nearly a 500 page book of a reeeeeally slow burn romance and I read all of it for that final page! I demand closure! I was not happy. I need to know what happens next for Zara and I don't mean I need a whole book but for once I wanted an epilogue time skip to find out what happens and we don't get that. It was so unsatisfying as an ending that I was like I don't think I can read for a few days now cause I am like wow.
The plot is decent albeit slow and I think it does a decent representation of modern south asian culture with a slight bit of whitewashing which makes sense as it is set in modern British south asian society and that is being integrated into our culture.
I would recommend the book but warn that the ending is so infuriating (or was for me)!
Zara’s quest of finding a perfect match, whilst also dealing with her meddling family and trying to decide what’s more important in a relationship: comfort or chemistry, was really interesting and also low-key relatable. Zara’s story, getting to know her and her culture, was captivating and I felt like the author portrayed her emotions beautifully; but damn, some of the scenes in later chapters were brutally painful to read. Still, even though it was painful, I am glad about what happened in chapter 30, and think it was for the best. The ending (epilogue) was too abrupt for me though. I am generally not a fan of open endings, so the last scene was just not enough closure for me, but that’s only my opinion. At least the ending leaves us hopeful that there might be a happy ending in the near future for her and her Mr Perfectly Fine. (Btw., I picked this book up because the title is a reference to a Taylor Swift song and was a little disappointed that there was not even a slight mention of TayTay, but I guess that was just the Swiftie in me, lol).
All in all, a strong debut and an enjoyable read. :)
I just did not like the main character. The story seemed fine and interesting, however it did not capture my attention. I thought it could've been way shorter, the inner monologue was repetitive and kind of boring at times. I was honestly intrigued to read it but in the end, it was not what I expected. I am still glad to have tried it though.
Finding Mr Perfectly Fine was Perfectly Fine, until the traditional romance genre trope of a 3rd Act Conflict - or Tragic Misunderstanding - ruined it all. The story was muddling along nicely as one might expect from a romance novel, the characters were engaging enough and fairly well defined. Zara was a bit annoying in her indecisiveness but she's a protagonist of a romance novel, it's not her fault. It was pretty clear to me that she was going to end up with Adam by the end and we were trucking along until it got to that.
Until. Until she didn't talk to him and just assumed things. Until he didn't talk to her and just assumed things. Until she wasn't up-front with Hamza, lying to him over and over. Until breaking Hamza's heart.
Until. Until she ended the book by talking about how she's a strong independent woman that doesn't need a man to make her happy. Well done for finding that out after completely messing with two perfectly lovely guys. This book bills itself as a journey of self-discovery but I don't think it is. You don't flip-flop between two guys making decisions you're not happy with appeasing your mother and breaking people's hearts and then when you're thoroughly dumped say "I know more about myself now." Well, I suppose you can, but it makes you an arsehole, not an inspiration.
We're really living in a diverse era with not just white doormat heroines but brown ones too! Words can't describe how disappointed I am especially with how promising the start was.
I know it takes a lot to write a book and how hard it is to satisfy everyone’s version of Muslim representation in women of their culture so I have to applaud the author for rooting this novel in a sense of place and with a character which has her feet planted in both her British and Bengali culture.
This is supposed to be an engaging, light-hearted novel which also touches on some darker themes which are not talked about.
While the writing was engaging, I felt it was stream of consciousness and slow in some places.
The lead character Zara is the epitome of the British Muslim woman with a job she enjoys.
I felt she could have been fleshed out a bit more from the boy crazy version to someone with a bit more substance and backbone.
I totally understand as the eldest there’s certain rules and regulations to adhere to but I feel like things just happened to her and she just went along with it.
She never really gave away her true feelings and it backfired massively.
The ending just left me confused so unsure if this will lead to another book or not.
Overall, I applaud the effort and I can see what the author was trying to do but it felt like there were two different stories that had been melded together and they didn’t alway flow for me.
3⭐️ A funny, banter filled must-find-a-husband-before-I-turn-thirty rom com that also explored an array of issues.
Thank you to netgalley and Bonnier Books for an eArc in exchange for an honest review.
This was a funny rom com full of banter that also tackled some tough issues including culture, religion, cultural/religious identities and pressures and previous sexual assault. When I was reading it, the way it was narrated and the need to find a husband before turning 30 and becoming a spinster forever did give me Bridget Jones but make her Bengali vibes and overall it was a fun read
I really enjoyed all the different cultural aspects described, discussed and included in this book. I learnt things about Islam that I hadn’t previously known as well as about Bengali, Egyptian and Turkish culture which was something I enjoyed reading about. This book did also focus a lot on self-love and discovery which was really nice and Zara did noticeable change throughout the narrative to reflect this.
I found this difficult to rate it started off with me feeling a bit unsure but by the time I was halfway through I was pretty hooked and needed to just keep reading. At this point it looked like it was going to be a 4 ⭐️ but unfortunately the abrupt and open ending was disappointing for me and didn’t feel right which is why it went down to 3⭐️. The ending felt rushed which was such a shame and I was so shocked when i turned the page to see ‘epilogue’ and realised this book wasn’t going to have the closure or i’d expected and it seems as though this is a standalone as well so i’m not sure i’ll get that satisfaction. I think I can see what the author was intending to do, leaning into the self love and self discovery elements but it didn’t work for me.
Wow! What a debut! I've recently been trying to read more books from authors of the same heritage as mine- South Asian, and to be honest, I've been mostly disappointed, kind of fed up of the shame they weave into their stories about their upbringing, having a dual personality and the oppression they feel from their culture, religion and parents - albeit being true for them. So it's true to say I started this book thinking it would be the same. But boy was I wrong. Firstly I would like to congratulate the author on portraying a story heaped in culture and with nothing to be ashamed of, everything explained with endearing love, lots of explanations for anyone who is unaware and whilst this is done subtly the main story was funny, had me laughing out loud at times, heart racing at others and I genuinely felt sad too. This book reminded me of Rachel's Holiday- the tongue in cheek humour that I've only ever found in a Marian Keyes book, with a dark and heartbreaking story underlying it. Zara is funny, she's cheeky, she's an intelligent successful British Asian Muslim woman. She's trying to overcome the obstacles of both of her cultures , trying to respect her religious beliefs in finding her Mr Perfectly Fine. Now does she listen to her heart or her mind? A lighthearted read, endearing characters, this book had me rooting for Zara and sometimes willing her to make different choices. You will not be disappointed. I will definitely be looking forward to a sequel to this story. In fact I already can't wait. Thank you to Netgalley for this ARC. I have already ordered a paperback for myself.
We meet our protagonist Zara soon after she has celebrated her 29th birthday when her mum’s “gift” was the threat that if she isn’t engaged by her 30th birthday she’ll be send off to the Motherland to find a husband! I really liked Zara, she works a similar kind of job to me and seems a really lovely lass. But I can’t imagine the pressure she felt to find a husband from a cultural point of view. As Zara’s parents compile the equivalent of a dating CV to be distributed within the community and ramp up the suitor search efforts she starts to feel disillusioned and exhausted by it all. So Zara decides to take matters into her own hands - how hard can it be to find a husband at 29? She joins Muslim Mate an online dating app and even goes speed-dating – the husband hunt is most definitely on. As Zara juggles messaging men, going on dates with Hamza who seems a nice guy and shared her values but she sadly doesn’t fancy and then she starts feeling sparks with Adam the graphics designer at work suddenly the waters are very muddy! With her big birthday looming, and family pressure intensifying Zara knows she must make a decision, but will she make the right one?
Zara finally comes to terms with the trauma of her failed engagement to Tariq (he is bad news) and stands her ground with her family which is no mean feat I am sure. There’s laughs, there’s tears and moments that make you angry as a reader. A thoroughly enjoyable read.
With thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Finding Mr Perfectly Fine is a laugh-out-loud funny rom-com of a book where a 29-year-old British Bengali girl from North London has a deadline to find “the one” or face her mummy’s wrath, in the shape of a ‘fresh from the desh’ prospective from ‘back-home’. Though it is a light-hearted read, it has unexpected dark turns that will have you crying and then screaming in frustration, whilst simultaneously rooting for protagonist Zara!
It will definitely give prospective marriage candidates food for thought, thinking about their own personal boundaries and how one can reconcile matters of the heart alongside the practicalities of life. For me, it brought up questions about whether finding a spouse is really the be-all and end-all? Why can’t society and culture allow you to be simply as you are?
Bear in mind, those who know me know I take months to finish a book! I haven’t read this fast since my pre-marital years and it certainly took me back! As I read the book, I shared my insights, my predictions, frustrations and raucous laughter with my friend. When I finished the book though, my final words were: “This had better not be the final ending! I need more!”
As a British Bengali myself and living in North London, having also gone through the myriad of candidates imposed on me by my elders, I completely felt at home at the familiarity of Zara’s mum and grandmother. The sibling relationship was also very relatable and entertaining. Zara’s quest to find Mr Perfectly Fine was not easy and having a time-pressure on top meant that she had to move fast and try out all ‘desperate’ measures.
It does bring up the question though, is being married to anybody better than being single and happy? How does the latter sit in today’s culture and society? Whilst it’s more common now to remain single or marry much later, first-generation parents are often conflicted and find this hard to accept.
Zara is a stylish, modern NON-HIJABI girl (feel like I need to emphasise this as I kept imagining she was a head-scarf wearing sister and so was in shock at some of Zara’s antics only to be vehemently reminded, Zara is NOT visibily Muslim). Zara is a spiritual person in her own right; she chooses not to wear hijab though she tries to practice – much like many of our young British adults today. Although she is a bold character, she has an unspoken vulnerability about her.
Tasneem struck the right balance in developing this character to show that non-hijabis are not all ‘loose’ or without strong morals. Zara is a highly spiritual individual and practices many aspects of Islam in a positive way, though she recognises her own weaknesses and knows what is and isn’t permissible in Islam.
I really appreciated that the book was authentic to our culture and did not try to portray Muslims as being ‘perfect’ in our practice but at the same time did not try to whitewash our religion to suit the non-Muslim narratives.
As a book of fiction, it reflects the society we live in, and I would even go as far as to say, it is also conservative at times. I only have to speak to young adults for five minutes to hear how crazily unislamic Uni and work life is for many Muslims, hijabi’s or not. It is a hard thing to balance and I applaud Tasneem for giving it a good go!
I believe Tasneem did an excellent job explaining the differences between cultural norms within Sylheti Bangladeshi communities and Islam; this was consistent throughout the book. At one point, the hijab was depicted as subduing one of the character’s beauty, this being very common in our culture where hijab is associated with being unattractive, unappealing or something that old people wear. I have witnessed this attitude first-hand unfortunately, and true of cultural attitudes in both Bangladesh and the UK. As a Muslim hijab-wearer, I can understand how this may be misconstrued, that it feeds into the mainstream narrative that the hijab is ‘ugly’. However, you have to read this in context as it is reflective of non-mainstream Bengali attitudes too, not to mention that in Islam, hijab is meant to ‘hide’ your beauty, not display it.
Being Bengali, I appreciated all the nuances of our culture, the humour, the quick wit. Tasneem ensures that the book was accessible to non Bengalis and non Muslims by translating or explaining these connections without sounding ‘preachy’. Also, as an honorary North Londoner, I absolutely LOVED reading about my old haunts, recognising many of the landmarks Tasneem writes about; the tube journeys, the vibe. It was a nice change from the typical depictions found in books – Bengalis from Brick Lane or other parts of East-London.
Zara’s mother had me choking with laughter where I no doubt startled the elderly on the orthopedic ward that I was in. In the middle of the night, I found myself snorting with stifled laughter. Zara’s mum is sharp, unwittingly hilarious with her sarcasm and a dry sense of humour. She knows exactly how to have the last word, seamlessly leading Zara into a dance with words. The lovely nani (grandma) is everyone’s nani; we can all relate to this supportive figure who agrees with her daughter like an echo whilst feeling every emotion of her grandchildren, even when it is at discord with her own ideals of marriage and expectations.
This book has all the ingredients that one needs to make it relatable and entertaining, surprising readers with unexpected twists and revelations with an unpredictable ending. I have so much to say about Zara’s love interests and other twists and turns in the book but I really don’t want to give anything more away at this early stage where people are still reading it. I found myself getting frustrated with Zara sometimes as I kept willing her to…
…I will end this here. I’m afraid you will need to read the book to find out more!
Suffice it to say, soon enough you will become Zara’s most intimate friend! Her family will become yours and by the end of it, you will spend the week reflecting on her life and oddly missing her in yours.
Bring on the sequel I say! It can’t come soon enough! This book makes a great buy for gifts. I literally bought twelve copies to give away as gifts.
Finding the right romantic partner is never easy, but in this funny and fascinating novel Zara is coming under a lot of pressure. She is twenty nine, and her mother is threatening to send her from London to Bengal to find a husband if she is not married by her thirtieth birthday. Family and cultural expectations clash with Zara’s mainly happy life in this brilliantly written novel which is narrated in her honest, bewildered voice as she struggles to decide what is sufficient for a happy married life.
I found this book worked for me on several levels including the story of Zara as a young woman engaged in her job, family and friends who has to negotiate another hurdle, and the internal debate about what is truly necessary for the happily ever after which her mother and other relatives want for her. It overturns expectations in many ways and challenges things like the culture of social drinking, while being solidly down to earth in the perils of late nights, the question of what to wear and the distractions of social media. This book’s greatest strength lies in its cast of characters, ranging from the determined mother to the work colleagues who have so much influence on Zara’s thoughts. There is the quiet Nani who quietly takes Zara’s side, as well as a whole group of female relatives who alternatively support Zara and make her life more complicated. Zara describes her mother “I’m lumbered with a mum that is the worst of both my worlds; tech savvy and cynical like a Western mum, but still clinging on to old traditions like the village mum she claims she isn’t.” Needless to say Zara and her mother clash, most significantly over the hunt for a husband that her mother claims is all she needs for happiness, while Zara has reservations.
This book is very informative on the ways a traditional family seeks to arrange a match, with “biodata” being eagerly circulated by older family members and contacts, networking events and a Muslim marriage app. There are possibilities from each one for Zara, but they all have their advantages and disadvantages for her. Hamza, for example, is kind, responsible and seemingly perfect, but Zara cannot feel much chemistry, or the elusive spark that really attracts her. The problem seems to be that it is not always the one who seems perfect on paper that she feels something for, but can she really carry on ignoring all the pressure to actually decide?
There are so many elements of this book that drew me in and kept me interested, the small details of Zara’s life which can assume enormous proportions, the setting of London with all its contrasts, the presence of such memorable as her sisters whose support against the world is unquestioning, even if they are very different. The dialogue throughout is so realistic, with family debates held at high volume and the reported messages via text and online having the ring of truth. I recommend this debut novel strongly, as it has a genuinely fascinating voice at the centre, has natural humour, and is such an honest story of life, love and family pressure.
السرد كويسة حبكة شغالة فيها شوية رغي... بس ماشي الحال دايقني انو تبريراتها لكل الي بتعمله غلط وانها مدايقة م culture و العيله البنجالية و بلا بلا بلا هيا بالفعل بتعمل الي ف دماغها بدون اي نظرة ع الإسلام أو عيلتها ف ليه الفزلكة دي كلها؟ اه و قراراتها عن حمزة.. بجد هيا كدا ليه؟ و حمزة نفسه كدا ليه متمسك بيها ليه؟ و آدم دا الوحيد الي حساه شخصية حقيقية كنت حابة انها تديني نظرة عن الأسر المحافظة المسلمة ف لندن و ازاي بترتبط و حساها بعيدة عن الواقع... ##تعديل الحبكة وحشة بعد ما فكرت فيها😂😑
In the tradition of Jane Austen and Bridget Jones, this is a witty tale of a young woman in search of a husband. But it's also laced with some wonderful details of Bengali life and the particular problems for a British-born girl from a Bengali family. Will Zara choose her handsome but unsuitable work colleague, or the dentist from Bangladesh, or the Egyptian man she meets at a Muslim chocolate-making event? Will heart or head win in the end? A rom-com with a delicious pinch of spice.
I really enjoyed this book and read it very quickly. It had everything romance, laughter and I found it a bit sad.
Zara has just turned 29 and her Mother has decided if she is not married by the time she is 30 she will put her on a plane to where the family originally came from to find a husband there. We see how Zara goes through the next few months to try and find a husband. Her workmate Adam she finds him immature but over the months he seems to get closer to her.
I thought the characters in the book were very good the only thing I did find disappointing was the ending thought it might have ended differently.
I would certainly recommend this book and is a feel good read.
This was, for the most part a fun read, while still dealing with more serious topics like the family pressure to marry and expectations of Asian women, as well as the double standards in how the community treats young women and men.
Zara was mostly likeable, and I really liked her sisters and her relationship with them. Amina was deffo my fave sister!
Zara dives head first into online dating and soon has two suitors on the go. A third suitor from an unexpected place also joins the line up, all Zara needs to do is not mess up...
I have to admit I did find that Zara could be quite immature at times and definitely caused a fair amount of the disasters in this book - she seemed a perfectly reasonable and capable woman in her career but when it came to her personal life she was a mess.
It did also seem a little longer than it needed to be, although I will admit I really liked the ending - it was defo what I had been secretly hoping for throughout.
Dragged on a bit hence 4 stars overall. The ending was a let down to be honest. Felt it was geared towards a being acceptable for a white audience. The dating/courtship scenes was more white than muslim asian courting. The muslim representation had a lot of white liberal feminist undertones which I don't personally agree with.
Unfortunately many south Asian girls are caught up with finding Mr. Perfect. This story was weaved around that idea. As a opposed to finding Mr compatible.
Zara was she was on the ball when it came to her career, family relations etc but in her personal life why was Zara so dumb and oblivious to the most obvious incompatibility with Adam?
The scenes where Humza unexpectedly surprised her. Her friends thought he was being a narcissist or controlling. But Adam the player they were completely overlooking his flaws cringe calling him a sex god.
I would pick up a book 2 to see what happens to Zara. But seriously would be so annoyed if she gets together with that player Adam and lives happily ever after accepting his drinking/smoking and half non muslim ways. 🙄
Writing style 4 stars excellent for debut novel. But storyline needs to be worked on.
Additional update 14th October 2024. In the book The Thirty before Thirty- Zara reappers again but is married to Adam who has apprently improved his non-islamic ways post death of aunty.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This was certainly a unique Muslim romance, primarily because and also because it actually delves into the process of meeting potentials based bios, arranged marriages, and Muslim dating apps. Most Muslim romances seem to say "yes, those things exist, but *this* MC is special so she doesn't have to deal with that and gets to marry someone she falls in love without any familial/societal intervention and despite societal norms" - which is great for the MC but often out of touch with reality/norms of Muslim communities.
Anyways. It was a decent read. Especially as an audiobook that I didn't have to take too seriously. It was not really a "halal romance" and there were a few contradictions and things I just didn't feel were real, and I definitely felt like the book could've used a few more revisions.
What I disliked: - Zara's mother grew up in the UK. So what I didn't understand was why she was acting more like a first-generation mother, threatening to force her daughter to marry someone right from Bangladesh. I don't know if this is normal for this demographic, but I would've assumed that a woman who grew up in the UK would be more understanding of her daughter. A lot of the mother-daughter tension felt forced, or there just for the sake of the story. Just *why* did her mom have to be so cruel, disrespectful of her boundaries, putting her into uncomfortable situations? I would've accepted it if I understood the logic/reasoning behind it, but it was just the "strict, traditional mother" trope so it felt pretty surface level - Zara made way too many stupid decisions, sometimes out of character, and again I felt like it was for the sake of drama. . The thing is, Zara seems pretty smart and she knows her boundaries. So when she'd do these things it would feel very contrived for the sake of plot - While Zara's deteriorating relationship with her cousin Samia (over mistrust, a sense of competition, and fear of the evil eye/nazar) happens a lot in the real world, it felt really underdeveloped in this book - I didn't fully understand why they fell out, and I don't actually think Zara was self-aware enough to acknowledge that some of it really might've been her fault - Islam was generally presented fine in this book - Zara has Islamic values and sticks to them and prioritizes them - but it could have been better. Why did her sister have to dress in a hijab to make herself ugly? Why was the most problematic side of her family (Samia's) also depicted as the most "religious"? I also felt like it was talking to a white nonMuslim audience, explaining every little religious practice that came up in the story and somewhat justifying it. Just little things like that that I didn't really appreciate
What I liked: - The character arc. Zara goes from believing she's worthless, a failure being unmarried at 29, to being satisfied with herself and realizing the blessing and love of her family and her job and herself, and realizing that she doesn't have to lower her standards - Zara herself honestly. Yes, she was annoying and (fakely) stupid at times, but I really like that she does have her boundaries and does not compromise her values. She simply doesn't care what others think - and not in a spoiled, arrogant, influencer sort of way, but in a genuine, humble, non-judgmental, being-herself sort of way. In terms of her clothing style, make-up, job, relationships, and so on. - I love her sisters and how different they are and the dynamic between them. It was really sweet. I just wish each of them had a bit more depth in their characters and maybe affected each other's arcs more. -
Overall it was a decent fluffy read and I enjoyed it. If there were a hierarchy of Muslim contemporary romance writers, I'd put this above Uzma Jalaluddin, but below SK Ali. Perhaps on par with Aamna Qureshi
Tasneem Abdur-Rashid’s debut novel is fun, fast paced, filled with plot twists, complex and complicated characters, making the story feel alive, vibrant and authentic. As Tasneem, a British Bengali writer, born and raised in London, says in the afterword, Zara’s journey towards love and self-discovery is one that transcends cultures. I think this statement works on two levels and really shows how brilliant her novel is. The first one is all about dating life. The reader follows Zara, how she puts herself out there, wants to date, find love with all the excitement that goes with it. At the same time, she is vulnerable for showing the world who she is and what she wants. No matter who you are, straight, queer, male, female, non-binary, etc. putting yourself out there, into the dating world, always comes with risks of being hurt, heartbroken and rejected as Zara and other characters in the novel experience. It's the same for all of us. Throughout the novel there are so many moments, scenes and chapters where exactly that happens. Sometimes I had to laugh because one of Zara’s dates turned so awkward (we have all been there), other times I desperately wanted to know how it continues because it felt so exciting (we have all been there too) and sometimes I almost cried because some dates, some break ups were so sad or humiliating ( we have all been there too unfortunately). That is the beauty of storytelling, it is a universal truth that comes across on every page of Finding Mr Perfectly Fine. We can all relate on some level to Zara’s journey. The second point that was absolutely amazing and beautiful to experience about Zara is her journey towards a new self-discovery after everything that has happened in her life, the good, the bad and the very dark (no spoilers, you’ll have to read it). With every decision, every choice we make, no matter who you are, we make mistakes, fall, stand up, grow and thrive. Zara is making a lot of decisions and a lot of mistakes but grows from them and finds herself. The complex, multi-layered main character Tasneem has created here, gives the reader an unforgettable reading experience, one to learn from, one to feel compassion, but above all, one to escape the real and crazy world, to dive into the also crazy but wonderful world of Zara, her dating life and be able to laugh and relate with her experiences. Listening to Zara’s voice, one that is unfortunately not very often listened to, or shared, is probably the most beautiful thing about this novel. Zara’s story stands for Muslim women, women of colour and countless people who try to find love, are being heart-broken and stand up again. Zara’s heart beats for love, family and friendship and I think it is safe to say that there is a little bit of Zara in all of us because she is such an authentic and flawed, crazy and beautiful character (I think I sound like Adam now). All of this makes this novel such a wonderful reading experience, so get the novel, make it your summer read, laugh, cry, go on a journey from London to Dubai. Tasneem, I cannot wait for your next novel! I know it will be brilliant!
Zara’s 29th birthday wasn’t just an ordinary birthday; it will be a birthday that she won’t forget after her mum makes it clear that if Zara isn’t engaged by her 30th birthday then she’s being sent to Bangladesh for an arranged marriage. Zara’s mother quickly starts to choose the best picture of her daughter from the thousands of picture on her phone and sets Zara to work creating a marriage CV. However, Zara has no intention of leaving the job of finding her a husband to her family alone but also takes matter into her own hands by subscribing to a dating app. Zara’s dating life has never been busier meeting prospective husbands introduced to her by family and also meeting Hamza who she meets through the dating app. Will Zara find a partner before she turns 30? Will she find the love of her life or settle for something less? Or was the one under her nose the whole time?
When I was reading this book I honestly looked at certain parts and felt that this story was written about me. This has quickly become my new read. At times it felt like Zara was on an emotional rollercoaster and I was on this journey with her. From the first page I knew I was going to like Zara. I definitely could relate to Zara and everything she was going through. Zara is not averse to getting married and she is looking for love but just hasn’t found the right person yet. Zara’s previous relationship which ended badly has made Zara cautious. One of the things that this book portrays perfectly but also very realistically is the pressure within the South Asian community to get married and to be married within a specific marriageable age range. Unfortunately time frames and marriage don’t always match up. Zara now finds that by her 30th birthday she will fall outside of that range and be considered a lost cause or forgotten about where prospective proposals are concerned. As her mother points out the older Zara gets the proposals with slow down and disappear. It was also lovely to see the little mention of people being paired up in heaven before they are born and that once they are born they have to find each other because this is something my grandmother would say to me when I was growing up.
I was quite surprised to learn that this was the author’s debut novel but I can honestly say she’s done a fantastic job. I think that people from the South Asian community can relate to Zara as a person but can also relate to what she is going through. As for the ending of this book I need to read book two urgently because I already know that Zara’s story is far from over.
A book I would highly recommend if you like rom-coms that pull at your heart strings.
I'm not going to rely on my mum and her limited network of aunties and uncles from a certain part of Sylhet to find me a husband. I'm twenty-nine,not sixty-nine. I have an entire year to fund someone and if I put enough energy into finding a husband as I did into finding the latest celebrity lipstick ,I'm sure I can be engaged in six months and married in twelve.'
So, does she?
Well it would spoilers to let you know if Zara manages to wriggle through this mammoth task of finding the right for now husband, and arranging a marriage in less than a year.
I would rather you got a copy for yourself and tucked into this joyous exploration of what it means to balance your family's expectations, societal expectations and your own expectations for a coupled life.
It is so difficult to meet people after a certain age,no matter what culture you are from,without certain questions coming to the fore, especially for women.
Tasneen neatly encapsulates the generation gap with Zara's younger sister setting her up on a Muslim dating app whilst her mother has her writing something called a 'biodata', a sales pitch for the person who gains her hand in marriage.
In all honesty, neither seems like a great way to set yourself up with a life long partner and as Zara finds herself getting increasingly confused and frazzled as to what she is actually looking for, she stops and re-assesse her goals and what she really wants.
Is looking for something so hard that you could possibly miss what is under your nose?
Absolutely!
And is it possible that the phrase 'we only do it because we care' is damaging in the context of matchmaking?
Again, very much so!
It is so lovely to read about this empowered and headstrong woman who is battling with her sense of pride I finding herself a husband before her family do it for her.
I fell deep into this story and whilst at first Zara is quite prickly and determined almost to the point of stubbornness,she really grew on me a s a person as you journey with her to find her very own, Mr Perfectly Fine.
Is a year enough time to convince yourself you have found love?
Read this engaging and page turning debut novel to find out for yourself!
This lighthearted adult romance read features Muslim characters all across the spectrum in terms of religiosity and practice. I read the 460 page book in two settings and found myself laughing aloud at times. There are some heavy threads, but ultimately with the framing and tone, I don't know that the book is meant to be taken too seriously, which is perfectly ok, obviously. There is some commentary on Bengladeshi and Muslim culture, and a few instances of internalized Islamaphobia, and for the most part the book tries to lean halal, while definitely taking (and owning) liberties of men and women flirting, holding hands, hugging, kissing, casually touching, and dating over the line for younger readers, who might assume a book with Muslims and Islam is normalizing such behaviors. There is also sexual assault mentioned and detailed that should be noted. Literary wise the book was smooth and fast paced, with a 29 year old lead trying to find a spouse before she turns the “dreaded” 30. I didn't like the fourth wall being broken on occasion, and Islamic lens wise, I had issues with hijab being used as a costume. But the book provided memorable characters and plausible situations. I don't know that anyone in the intended target audience range will take the actions of the characters as Islamic doctrine brought to life, or better understand their Muslim friends after reading the book, but to its credit it does normalize Muslims being unique and not a monolith, taking the concept of marriage seriously when dating or exchanging biodatas, picking what aspects of culture to keep and which ones to abandon, and it frames Muslim characters in an accessible and fun loving way, which really shows how far literary representation has come. I enjoyed the read, even when I didn't agree with the characters' actions or understanding of Islam, as I found myself turning the pages, one after another, to see what would happen next. #islamicschoollibrarian #Muslimauthor #muslimcharacters #2022 #dayoffdeliberations #muslimbookawards2022 #muslimbookawards
as the author said "I agree, this is definitely not an ‘Islamic’ book - just one that has Muslim characters with varying levels of Deen and imaan, and prone to making mistakes along the way. "
This took me a while to get into but I ended up zooming through the last two thirds. For a lot of this book I felt concerned for Zara. She has people around her who love her and say their concerns but she doesn’t seem to pay them *any* attention at all. There are some big warning flags in one of Zara’s relationships, and it is outright explained to her what the concerns are and then it’s not mentioned again. I think my main issue is that Zara learns about herself but doesn’t seem able to apply that knowledge to herself or her relationships or those she interacts with. This is frustrating to read. A lot of things happened that didn’t seem to lead anywhere – or characters who sort of got dumped part way through their narrative arc. In another section a key bit of story was told just with pages of dialogue, of one person talking. I think this book was trying to say and do a lot and that is admirable, but didn’t do everything quite as well as it could have, if it were more focussed. What I think it did was give a good glimpse into this family’s life, some relationships and the weird combination of love and pressure that you can feel from your family. The knowing in your bones that they love you and what’s best for you but the way they are showing it doesn’t chime. I think this book could have included the word colourism, and could have included Zara going to therapy. With Zara, I don’t really have the ability to build the complexities of her inner life to know that I’ve left her in a good place. I don’t think she asked herself the hard questions about people’s actions and motives and I’m unsure if she ever will. Which is okay if it’s purposeful, but it didn’t feel like that either. That said, if you want some light, chick lit, I would recommend this. It's fun and roller coasters your emotions expertly with a good mix of things that really matter and things that don’t. It dances between heavy and light and is never too overwhelming.
I’d like to preface this by saying that I understand that every retarded event that happened in the book was necessary to have happened because a real Sharia based Muslim relationship/marriage wouldn’t have been very interesting to read but my God does this book go over the top with the retardedness.
I read this book due to sheer curiosity and finished it because I never DNF. The FL is the epitome of a “moved to a kafir country and was influenced beyond saving” sort of person it’s clear to see that she wasn’t able to see how much of a catch Hamza was because she’s had contact and flings with guys before. And how the alcoholic, doesn’t pray, kissed FL without consent and before any sort of relationship could be established, considers Islam an “old-fashioned cultural” thing managed to sway the heart of the lukewarm Muslim FL is testament to her weak values and lack of self-respect.
I despise how this is marketed as a “Muslim romance” nothing about it would appeal to actual practising Muslims, it’s clear that the target audience for this book were Muslims who idolised the kafir and have no knowledge or respect for the deen.
I consider this book to be harmful to the hearts of young impressionable Muslims girls as it endorses and attempts to normalise slut-like behaviour, alcohol, shisha, contact with boys without the required Islamic measures in place and so much more. And I fear for the author for having written such a filth-filled book as who knows how many girls have been influenced by it and are in sticky situations.
All in all I would’ve given this book 0 stars if I could if not for the horrible Muslim representation then for the sheer terrible writing, not everyone is meant to be an author.
Mr Perfectly Fine reminded me a lot of Bridget Jones, minus the partying and booze. Zara Chowdhury a British-Bangladeshi 29-year-old from North London. Like most South-Asian parents, Zara’s parents are concerned that she’s almost 30 and unmarried. With her homemade Victoria Sponge cake, Zara’s mum gives her a threat: if she’s not engaged by her 30th birthday, she will be sent to Bangladesh to find a ‘fresh-from-the-desh’ husband. Exhausted by her mum’s archaic marriage resources, Zara takes matters into her own hands. She joins a dating app and signs up for speed dating. Zara meets Hamza - a kind British Egyptian who shares her values, but the spark isn’t there, especially when she cannot stop thinking about a certain Turkish man who works with her.
The representation was so refreshing: the family dynamics, the aunties, the stigmas attached to unwed ‘older’ girls, the diversity, and the Bangladeshi culture. Tasneem created a playful book that tackles major issues many South-Asian women face, which isn’t your typical romance book – it will not end the way you expect it to. Mr Perfectly Fine ends by breaking social norms and on a major cliffhanger! I need part two ASAP.
Mr Perfectly Fine is the first and only romcom I’ve read by a Bangladeshi author, and I loved it. I felt a personal relatability to the book – sometimes, I felt like I was literally in the book, especially in the scenes with the aunties!
Mr Perfectly Fine reminded me a lot of Bridget Jones, minus the partying and booze. Zara Chowdhury a British-Bangladeshi 29-year-old from North London. Like most South-Asian parents, Zara’s parents are concerned that she’s almost 30 and unmarried. With her homemade Victoria Sponge cake, Zara’s mum gives her a threat: if she’s not engaged by her 30th birthday, she will be sent to Bangladesh to find a ‘fresh-from-the-desh’ husband. Exhausted by her mum’s archaic marriage resources, Zara takes matters into her own hands. She joins a dating app and signs up for speed dating. Zara meets Hamza - a kind British Egyptian who shares her values, but the spark isn’t there, especially when she cannot stop thinking about a certain Turkish man who works with her.
The representation was so refreshing: the family dynamics, the aunties, the stigmas attached to unwed ‘older’ girls, the diversity, and the Bangladeshi culture. Tasneem created a playful book that tackles major issues many South-Asian women face, which isn’t your typical romance book – it will not end the way you expect it to. Mr Perfectly Fine ends by breaking social norms and on a major cliffhanger! I need part two ASAP.
Mr Perfectly Fine is the first and only romcom I’ve read by a Bangladeshi author, and I loved it. I felt a personal relatability to the book – sometimes, I felt like I was literally in the book, especially in the scenes with the aunties!