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My Body and Other Crumbling Empires: Lessons for Healing in a World That Is Sick
We are living in a world that is sick. Both literally sick, with 60 percent of adults in the US living with a chronic illness and rising rates of autoimmune diseases in particular, including long COVID, and figuratively sick, facing ever increasing rates of burnout, anxiety, and disconnection.
As a writer, activist, and theology student, Lyndsey Medford was used to critiquing unsustainable medical, environmental, economic, and social systems from a theoretical perspective. But when her autoimmune disorder roared out of remission, she discovered that her own body's systems lived at the very real vortex of all those systems' dysfunction.
Learning to cooperate with her body would require her to change every aspect of her life--and in the process, to seek a radical reimagining of the world, from a place where sickness is an individual affliction to an interdependent ecosystem where sustainability is a community way of life. In this beautiful and inspiring book, Medford draws on her experiences with a rare autoimmune disease to illuminate the broader lessons we need to learn, in order to heal what ails us individually and communally. Whether our burnout stems from illness, systemic racism, poverty, or simply sin's separation, we're all in need of hope, and we are called to heal together.
My Body and Other Crumbling Empires points out the beauty and ubiquity of our limitations; the importance of accessibility, broadly construed; the interconnected nature of individual and public health; and the badly needed wisdom we have gained from living with our particular bodies.
As a writer, activist, and theology student, Lyndsey Medford was used to critiquing unsustainable medical, environmental, economic, and social systems from a theoretical perspective. But when her autoimmune disorder roared out of remission, she discovered that her own body's systems lived at the very real vortex of all those systems' dysfunction.
Learning to cooperate with her body would require her to change every aspect of her life--and in the process, to seek a radical reimagining of the world, from a place where sickness is an individual affliction to an interdependent ecosystem where sustainability is a community way of life. In this beautiful and inspiring book, Medford draws on her experiences with a rare autoimmune disease to illuminate the broader lessons we need to learn, in order to heal what ails us individually and communally. Whether our burnout stems from illness, systemic racism, poverty, or simply sin's separation, we're all in need of hope, and we are called to heal together.
My Body and Other Crumbling Empires points out the beauty and ubiquity of our limitations; the importance of accessibility, broadly construed; the interconnected nature of individual and public health; and the badly needed wisdom we have gained from living with our particular bodies.
216 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 7, 2023
23 people are currently reading
596 people want to read
About the author
Lyndsey Medford
6 books23 followersLyndsey Medford is an indecorous Southerner, an erstwhile evangelical, and an inexpert advocate for justice. She also manages chronic autoimmune disease and a tiny front-yard garden.
Lyndsey holds a Master's degree in Theology from Boston University, but she's most proud of her improv theater, food pantry, and gluten-free baking bona fides, her family, and her rescue dog Miya's dainty high-fives. She writes regularly on her email newsletter at http://www.lyndseymedford.com, and on instagram at http://www.instagram.com/lyndseymedford.
Lyndsey holds a Master's degree in Theology from Boston University, but she's most proud of her improv theater, food pantry, and gluten-free baking bona fides, her family, and her rescue dog Miya's dainty high-fives. She writes regularly on her email newsletter at http://www.lyndseymedford.com, and on instagram at http://www.instagram.com/lyndseymedford.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
July 10, 2023
This was a great memoir about living with Behcet's syndrome, an autoimmune disease that causes various physical symptoms and involves a life of chronic pain. The activist author is also a Christian theologian and the book did have a heavy amount of religious references (a tad too much for my comfort if I'm honest) but if you can look past that, there are great discussions about ableism, the need for greater accessibility and the challenges (financial, mental, etc.) of living with an invisible, chronic illness that often precludes being able to work. Good on audio even though it's not read by the author and recommended for fans of books like My body is not a prayer request by Amy Kenny.
March 6, 2023
As a hospital chaplain, I loved walking with Lyndsey through her story of wrestling with chronic illness. It reminded me of the ways in which (despite my own bias in considering the healthcare providers I work with incredible) our healthcare system is fundamentally broken and often actively inhibits healing rather than facilitating it.
It challenged me as I thought about the ways I often try my hardest to ignore and forget about my own (overweight and balding) body, even as the pandemic and my own griefs, losses, and struggles with mental health have taken a physical toll and I've struggled to care for it (calling it "him" still feels a little weird to me) and have ignored the basic needs of health and wholeness in favor of overindulgence and the path of least resistance.
There are nitpicky complaints I could make about the book (like I wish there was an indication up front about the notes section in the back and its reference points and clarifications along the way). There are certainly things about Lyndsey approach to discussing health and wholeness that I don't agree with. There are ways of doing the work of justice and compassion in the world I would place more primary importance and emphasis on. But one of the things I loved about her approach was that her posture wasn't one of condemnation or shame but of inviting the reader to consider a different way of being and begin the work of making small changes that can lead to big changes. She talked in her conclusion about the struggle to find hope: for me, that's one of the places I find it. In the belief that the small things matter, even enough to bring the big things into being.
It challenged me as I thought about the ways I often try my hardest to ignore and forget about my own (overweight and balding) body, even as the pandemic and my own griefs, losses, and struggles with mental health have taken a physical toll and I've struggled to care for it (calling it "him" still feels a little weird to me) and have ignored the basic needs of health and wholeness in favor of overindulgence and the path of least resistance.
There are nitpicky complaints I could make about the book (like I wish there was an indication up front about the notes section in the back and its reference points and clarifications along the way). There are certainly things about Lyndsey approach to discussing health and wholeness that I don't agree with. There are ways of doing the work of justice and compassion in the world I would place more primary importance and emphasis on. But one of the things I loved about her approach was that her posture wasn't one of condemnation or shame but of inviting the reader to consider a different way of being and begin the work of making small changes that can lead to big changes. She talked in her conclusion about the struggle to find hope: for me, that's one of the places I find it. In the belief that the small things matter, even enough to bring the big things into being.
September 2, 2024
“…as much is I think of myself as chronically ill,I also feel myself to be chronically healing. Not healing as in returning to an uncompromised state of perfection, but healing as an activity of resisting destruction and decay, of choosing kindness, nourishment, and self-support.”
“If we collectively paused to listen to illness, perhaps we could learn from chronically ill people the art of living sustainably.”
This book has really shifted the way I view my chronic illness, and what healing and hope are. Our bodies aren’t machines we can use to extract all the possible success we can achieve, they’re wise and worthy parts of us that help us learn how to engage our own system and the systems of our world with kindness and sustainability.
I think I need a copy of this on my shelf!
“If we collectively paused to listen to illness, perhaps we could learn from chronically ill people the art of living sustainably.”
This book has really shifted the way I view my chronic illness, and what healing and hope are. Our bodies aren’t machines we can use to extract all the possible success we can achieve, they’re wise and worthy parts of us that help us learn how to engage our own system and the systems of our world with kindness and sustainability.
I think I need a copy of this on my shelf!
February 28, 2023
Behcet’s disease. The main symptoms include mouth sores, skin and joint pain and inflammation of the eyes. It’s not as common in the US but those that have it – including the author -- will tell you that it’s painful. She was 26 years old when she learned this was happening to her.
Lyndsey Medford tells readers in the Introduction that “Sixty percent of US adults live with a chronic illness.” It got my attention as it’s a big number. When an illness is invisible, it feels isolating as most people can’t see that there’s a health concern with others.
She tried to escape in books, was enrolled in a Christian college studying theology and at times suffered from depression. Then there was yoga, breathing techniques and stretching exercises. She found it ultimately helpful to eat nutritious food and receive regular doctor visits.
Much of the book was her struggle with the US system of economy over what’s truly important in this world. Many are overwhelmed with tasks with huge stress levels trying to keep up. She addresses what doesn’t make sense. Overall, it’s religion and friendships that have given her support.
The author’s journey is personal and grounded in teaching from the Bible. It is a book of hope and perseverance. Her message is to find meaning in whatever level one can give.
Lyndsey Medford tells readers in the Introduction that “Sixty percent of US adults live with a chronic illness.” It got my attention as it’s a big number. When an illness is invisible, it feels isolating as most people can’t see that there’s a health concern with others.
She tried to escape in books, was enrolled in a Christian college studying theology and at times suffered from depression. Then there was yoga, breathing techniques and stretching exercises. She found it ultimately helpful to eat nutritious food and receive regular doctor visits.
Much of the book was her struggle with the US system of economy over what’s truly important in this world. Many are overwhelmed with tasks with huge stress levels trying to keep up. She addresses what doesn’t make sense. Overall, it’s religion and friendships that have given her support.
The author’s journey is personal and grounded in teaching from the Bible. It is a book of hope and perseverance. Her message is to find meaning in whatever level one can give.
March 23, 2023
This book will continue to be a resource and reference for me as a friend and pastor. The writing is beautiful and accessible and a song of hope for those who are ill and those of us who care for others.
March 7, 2023
“This is not a book about any outcome at all. This book is about living, here and now, in a crumbling empire.”
These two sentences from the conclusion of the book really do sum up the entire thing. Lyndsey Medford writes about her own body, various immediate systems (such as healthcare in the US and industrial farming), and overwhelming systems, like colonization and empires, without giving answers. And that is precisely her point. She recognizes that her own quest to listen to her body led her to a greater quest to pay attention to other systems and how they behave—or don’t behave.
This is a book about paying attention. It’s about recognizing that we are all connected. It’s a reminder that true, lasting change is slow and often small.
Medford weaves the love, creative energy and presence of God; the stories and life of Jesus; and the movement of the Holy Spirit throughout the book. She writes these threads full of gentle care for both the theology represented and her readers. It may be a faith-inspired book, but it’s not preachy or self-righteous.
This book would be a great beginning of a conversation for a book group or an introduction for anyone to several different topics. Medford includes a bibliography sorted by topic in the back, which would be a great next step for anyone wanting to learn more.
Minor quibble: I wish the end notes had some kind of marking within the chapter. That pulled me out of the narrative in the first chapter when I wondered who she was quoting. But I figured it out quickly.
These two sentences from the conclusion of the book really do sum up the entire thing. Lyndsey Medford writes about her own body, various immediate systems (such as healthcare in the US and industrial farming), and overwhelming systems, like colonization and empires, without giving answers. And that is precisely her point. She recognizes that her own quest to listen to her body led her to a greater quest to pay attention to other systems and how they behave—or don’t behave.
This is a book about paying attention. It’s about recognizing that we are all connected. It’s a reminder that true, lasting change is slow and often small.
Medford weaves the love, creative energy and presence of God; the stories and life of Jesus; and the movement of the Holy Spirit throughout the book. She writes these threads full of gentle care for both the theology represented and her readers. It may be a faith-inspired book, but it’s not preachy or self-righteous.
This book would be a great beginning of a conversation for a book group or an introduction for anyone to several different topics. Medford includes a bibliography sorted by topic in the back, which would be a great next step for anyone wanting to learn more.
Minor quibble: I wish the end notes had some kind of marking within the chapter. That pulled me out of the narrative in the first chapter when I wondered who she was quoting. But I figured it out quickly.
October 10, 2023
Foreword: "Your body speaks in syllables of sensations... speaks through sighs, groans, tingles and aches to tell you the truth about how safe you feel to show up in your life." (K.J. Ramsay)
Yes. This book. Yes. It holds the complex layers of being human, with so much honesty and insightfulness. From disability, to healing, to faith, to social justice - she acknowledges the intricacies and interconnectedness of it all. I learned so much. I felt seen and deeply exhaled in relief. I felt inspired, and encouraged.
"God measures the righteousness of God's people by the well-being of those with the least power and status."
Top 10 read of 2023!
Far too many quotes to share but here's one more:
"Life overflows in abundance when we are in right relationship with God, with one another, with ourselves, and with the world. These intricately woven, interconnected networks of relationship are indeed overwhelming when they have been twisted by greed, pride and injustice, but they also, despite those odds, overwhelm us with beauty, grandeur, resilience, generativity...that to be imbedded in a community, however complex and confusing, is to be deeply at home in the universe."
Audiobook: 6h 45m
Yes. This book. Yes. It holds the complex layers of being human, with so much honesty and insightfulness. From disability, to healing, to faith, to social justice - she acknowledges the intricacies and interconnectedness of it all. I learned so much. I felt seen and deeply exhaled in relief. I felt inspired, and encouraged.
"God measures the righteousness of God's people by the well-being of those with the least power and status."
Top 10 read of 2023!
Far too many quotes to share but here's one more:
"Life overflows in abundance when we are in right relationship with God, with one another, with ourselves, and with the world. These intricately woven, interconnected networks of relationship are indeed overwhelming when they have been twisted by greed, pride and injustice, but they also, despite those odds, overwhelm us with beauty, grandeur, resilience, generativity...that to be imbedded in a community, however complex and confusing, is to be deeply at home in the universe."
Audiobook: 6h 45m
September 13, 2023
This book was so incredibly profound I found myself wanting to highlight every page. As someone who’s not religious I found myself a bit put off by the religious components initially and had I known it would be so religious, I may not have picked it up in the first place, which would have been a shame as the message was definitely amplified by the religious pieces and even for a non-believer the book contained such a wealth of knowledge that it would’ve been a shame to miss out on it. Would highly recommend this one for anyone who’s disabled/chronically ill and anyone who’s feeling an overwhelming sense of despair at the state of our world.
March 22, 2023
Lyndsey Medford shares her chronic illness journey in this book, writing about the ways that her body has challenged her deepest assumptions about faith, the world, and what it means to be successful. She acknowledges the ways that her racial, social, and economic privilege have advantaged her within the healthcare world, but even so, she has faced deep challenges in advocating for herself, finding solutions, and choosing to slow down her life and pursue healing in a world that demands constant hustle and casts aside whoever can't keep up.
She writes about how deeply broken our understanding of health is, as we parse out our bodies into individual parts addressed by different doctors who don't communicate with each other or understand the whole picture, and she writes about how sick bodies highlight the fissures in our society. Sick people are like the proverbial canary in the coal mine, revealing the deep problems with our economic, healthcare, environmental, and food systems.
Memoir Elements
My Body and Other Crumbling Empires is an incredibly eloquent, unique, and thought-provoking book. Medford writes from her perspectives as a sufferer, a theologian, and an activist, reflecting on deep societal issues and how difficult it is for sick people to get the care they need, or to even allow themselves to slow down in a world that demands constant labor for economic stability and/or personal identity.
Medford writes about the damage done to people who can't operate according to Western society's norms, and she reflects about how both secular society and her upbringing in the church raised her to believe that she was destined to achieve great things through her own talent and determination. She shows how, despite her lofty expectations, she has learned to treat healing as a worthwhile endeavor in and of itself, rather than treating her body as an interruption or a problem to solve.
Medford's reflections on disability are eloquent and insightful, and I appreciated her vulnerability about her slow, sometimes cyclical journey of learning to care for her health and live with her body's frailties without feeling like a failure. She also includes reflections on stories from the gospels, emphasizing the character of Jesus and how he not only healed sick people, but also honored them as individuals and restored them to their surrounding community. She writes about Jesus in fresh, striking ways, bringing these stories to life from a different perspective, and she also weaves in other theological reflections throughout the book. For example, I liked her statement that when someone discovers their unfair advantages, they shouldn't hate themselves, but should find their identity in Jesus's love and acceptance.
Social Reflections
I found the book most interesting when it focused on Medford's personal journey and spiritual themes. When she reflected on deeper societal fissures, I sometimes found that insightful and helpful, but at other times, this political bent felt like an attempt to use the right buzzwords, check the right boxes, and make sure that the book condemned the patriarchy enough times. I don't want to make light of Medford's internal struggles with wishing she could be more involved in activist work, and she has powerful things to say about the world's broken systems and why it matters for people to make changes in their individual lives and communities, even when they can’t do more than that. However, this became unbelievably repetitive, to the point where I wondered if she was afraid of being criticized by political activists and felt like she had to prove how like-minded she is.
My other critique is that Medford ignores the experiences of men who deal with chronic illness. She talks about "disabled people" in general, but whenever she talks about gender-specific dynamics, she only talks about women. Women are more likely to suffer from autoimmune issues and mystery diseases, and sexism within the medical field often results in additional barriers, such as doctors not believing female patients or not knowing how to diagnose and treat them, due to disparities in scientific funding and studies that only include men. That is all real, valid, and important, but Medford still could have acknowledged men, even just in passing. For example, Medford could have mentioned the additional challenges that men face when they don't meet social standards of career success and productivity, since people often equate being a man with being successful in a chosen career and being able to financially support a family.
Conclusion
I enjoyed this book as a fellow sufferer of chronic illness, and I found Lyndsey Medford's reflections on issues in society helpful and much-needed, especially as she calls out ways that our culture's obsession with productivity makes people feel like failures for being ill and not having the same capabilities as other people. She writes in an eloquent, passionate way about deeply important issues, and she articulates deep realities and complicated experiences that are difficult to express. I appreciate her talent for writing, her vulnerability about her personal experiences, and her insight into inter-related social issues. Even though there were aspects of this book that I found frustrating, it is helpful and insightful overall, and I truly appreciate the author's unique perspective.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
She writes about how deeply broken our understanding of health is, as we parse out our bodies into individual parts addressed by different doctors who don't communicate with each other or understand the whole picture, and she writes about how sick bodies highlight the fissures in our society. Sick people are like the proverbial canary in the coal mine, revealing the deep problems with our economic, healthcare, environmental, and food systems.
Memoir Elements
My Body and Other Crumbling Empires is an incredibly eloquent, unique, and thought-provoking book. Medford writes from her perspectives as a sufferer, a theologian, and an activist, reflecting on deep societal issues and how difficult it is for sick people to get the care they need, or to even allow themselves to slow down in a world that demands constant labor for economic stability and/or personal identity.
Medford writes about the damage done to people who can't operate according to Western society's norms, and she reflects about how both secular society and her upbringing in the church raised her to believe that she was destined to achieve great things through her own talent and determination. She shows how, despite her lofty expectations, she has learned to treat healing as a worthwhile endeavor in and of itself, rather than treating her body as an interruption or a problem to solve.
Medford's reflections on disability are eloquent and insightful, and I appreciated her vulnerability about her slow, sometimes cyclical journey of learning to care for her health and live with her body's frailties without feeling like a failure. She also includes reflections on stories from the gospels, emphasizing the character of Jesus and how he not only healed sick people, but also honored them as individuals and restored them to their surrounding community. She writes about Jesus in fresh, striking ways, bringing these stories to life from a different perspective, and she also weaves in other theological reflections throughout the book. For example, I liked her statement that when someone discovers their unfair advantages, they shouldn't hate themselves, but should find their identity in Jesus's love and acceptance.
Social Reflections
I found the book most interesting when it focused on Medford's personal journey and spiritual themes. When she reflected on deeper societal fissures, I sometimes found that insightful and helpful, but at other times, this political bent felt like an attempt to use the right buzzwords, check the right boxes, and make sure that the book condemned the patriarchy enough times. I don't want to make light of Medford's internal struggles with wishing she could be more involved in activist work, and she has powerful things to say about the world's broken systems and why it matters for people to make changes in their individual lives and communities, even when they can’t do more than that. However, this became unbelievably repetitive, to the point where I wondered if she was afraid of being criticized by political activists and felt like she had to prove how like-minded she is.
My other critique is that Medford ignores the experiences of men who deal with chronic illness. She talks about "disabled people" in general, but whenever she talks about gender-specific dynamics, she only talks about women. Women are more likely to suffer from autoimmune issues and mystery diseases, and sexism within the medical field often results in additional barriers, such as doctors not believing female patients or not knowing how to diagnose and treat them, due to disparities in scientific funding and studies that only include men. That is all real, valid, and important, but Medford still could have acknowledged men, even just in passing. For example, Medford could have mentioned the additional challenges that men face when they don't meet social standards of career success and productivity, since people often equate being a man with being successful in a chosen career and being able to financially support a family.
Conclusion
I enjoyed this book as a fellow sufferer of chronic illness, and I found Lyndsey Medford's reflections on issues in society helpful and much-needed, especially as she calls out ways that our culture's obsession with productivity makes people feel like failures for being ill and not having the same capabilities as other people. She writes in an eloquent, passionate way about deeply important issues, and she articulates deep realities and complicated experiences that are difficult to express. I appreciate her talent for writing, her vulnerability about her personal experiences, and her insight into inter-related social issues. Even though there were aspects of this book that I found frustrating, it is helpful and insightful overall, and I truly appreciate the author's unique perspective.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
October 7, 2025
i picked this up because a dear friend of mine recently was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. lyndsey’s memoir/meta narrative clarified my sympathy, which i think is important for those of us who may not understand. clarity steers our sympathy in the right direction. the right direction in loving my friend isn’t to say “i know” but “i’m listening.”
May 10, 2024
This is one of the best books I've *ever* read. I'm tempted to buy it in bulk and ship it out to everyone I know.
Lyndsey is so wise behind her years. She's written a brutally honest memoir, societal critique, lyrical poetry, and call to arms all in one. Stunning!
Lyndsey is so wise behind her years. She's written a brutally honest memoir, societal critique, lyrical poetry, and call to arms all in one. Stunning!
March 15, 2023
There's a lot to unpack within myself with this book.
1). I know what it's like to lose yourself due to a disability, from chronic illness/pain. I spent an entire year sitting on a couch, and not talking.
2). I know what it's like to grieve so deeply that you are drowning every second.
3). I know what it's like when everything you've defined yourself by is banished.
4). I know what it's like to see dreams permanently erased: we live with my parents; I am completely infertile.
We have so much to answer to God for with our stewardship - the absolute neglect thereof. We have polluted the planet, left the Other in our gold dust, and refused to believe in any one else's opinions but our owns. We are called to hold each other to a standard: if our works do not demonstrate our faith, we will be judged.
These past years I have been wrapped up in knowing how my humanity is glorious and wanted by God. Jesus didn't remove our humanness; He restores, redeems, reconciled it, allowing us to be fully unique creations, imprinted with His glorious nature.
I knew what she was talking about with having to sit with her body. I recognized so much of my own journey. These words are needed even if you don't have a chronic lack of "spoons," because there are areas we are all neglecting and hiding. We all are keeping separate identities in some fashion, hoping to trick ourselves into the idea of Wholeness by pretending sin or trauma or stress doesn't exist.
"I'm too blessed to be stressed."
Liar.
However, there was, to me, this residual Millenial Neognostic vein that just kept throbbing through her words. I don't think she meant it that way; I don't think she was declaring that we could effectively separate ourselves into spiritual and material. Her whole premise was learning how to meet the needs of one without discounting or overemphasizing the other. I just felt a lack of peace when I read some of her statements.
I consider myself a Biblical feminist. I am actively pursuing anti racism. But, I HAVE to do those things as a White, heterosexual, middle class, American woman. I didn't choose to be born into those things; it's not my fault that I am white. It IS my fault if I allow that thought to keep me blind and ignorant. I didn't decide to be white because I wanted privilege; I was handpicked to be White by God.
I'm not sure I am making sense here, but if I am to be Whole, I have to accept all my identities without guilt, without passivity, and without ignorance. I must seek Wholeness with POC through the redemption of Christ. In my own power, sin just creates even more of a cesspool. My "whiteness" has been just as much redeemed as a different person's color.
Sometimes I just get so weary from hearing about white, make, privileged patriarchy. It's there: you can see it every day. I'm not denying it.
But is there a way for this Wholeness to flourish without always towing along the labels?
This isn't a condemnation of her book, or nitpicking over every term. I acknowledge the breadth and beauty of her words; I acknowledge her desire for holy community. I resonated with her loneliness and grief; I sat with her as she watched her life fall apart.
Maybe I'm just too cynical from growing up in the 90's; maybe I'm just too weary from screaming, and have decided to just shut up, and withdraw into myself.
When you feel like God has a specific purpose for your life, and then you lose literally EVERYTHING, Wholeness seems like a farce. Then, it becomes your only saving grace, your only shelter, your only hope. And sometimes, it also becomes a mantra, one you pursue at the expense of others. But mainly, it becomes something that only time and the Holy Spirit can make more visible.
Medford never states that any of this is accomplished without the power of the Holy Spirit: God is the only one who is perfectly Whole, and who knows how to fully knit the rent pieces together.
The point of any righteous book is to create conversations: hard conversations, conversations seasoned with grace, and conversations about how it will not apply to everyone exactly.
I have a feeling that Medford and I have personalities on opposite ends of the spectrum, which is why I had some issues with what she wrote. However, that is a good thing, because I always need to be challenged, and to make sure my worldview hasn't become too much of a closed circuit.
I sincerely hope she finds a Wholeness, here and now, and let she experiences healing on this side of heaven. And, I hope she continues to write.
1). I know what it's like to lose yourself due to a disability, from chronic illness/pain. I spent an entire year sitting on a couch, and not talking.
2). I know what it's like to grieve so deeply that you are drowning every second.
3). I know what it's like when everything you've defined yourself by is banished.
4). I know what it's like to see dreams permanently erased: we live with my parents; I am completely infertile.
We have so much to answer to God for with our stewardship - the absolute neglect thereof. We have polluted the planet, left the Other in our gold dust, and refused to believe in any one else's opinions but our owns. We are called to hold each other to a standard: if our works do not demonstrate our faith, we will be judged.
These past years I have been wrapped up in knowing how my humanity is glorious and wanted by God. Jesus didn't remove our humanness; He restores, redeems, reconciled it, allowing us to be fully unique creations, imprinted with His glorious nature.
I knew what she was talking about with having to sit with her body. I recognized so much of my own journey. These words are needed even if you don't have a chronic lack of "spoons," because there are areas we are all neglecting and hiding. We all are keeping separate identities in some fashion, hoping to trick ourselves into the idea of Wholeness by pretending sin or trauma or stress doesn't exist.
"I'm too blessed to be stressed."
Liar.
However, there was, to me, this residual Millenial Neognostic vein that just kept throbbing through her words. I don't think she meant it that way; I don't think she was declaring that we could effectively separate ourselves into spiritual and material. Her whole premise was learning how to meet the needs of one without discounting or overemphasizing the other. I just felt a lack of peace when I read some of her statements.
I consider myself a Biblical feminist. I am actively pursuing anti racism. But, I HAVE to do those things as a White, heterosexual, middle class, American woman. I didn't choose to be born into those things; it's not my fault that I am white. It IS my fault if I allow that thought to keep me blind and ignorant. I didn't decide to be white because I wanted privilege; I was handpicked to be White by God.
I'm not sure I am making sense here, but if I am to be Whole, I have to accept all my identities without guilt, without passivity, and without ignorance. I must seek Wholeness with POC through the redemption of Christ. In my own power, sin just creates even more of a cesspool. My "whiteness" has been just as much redeemed as a different person's color.
Sometimes I just get so weary from hearing about white, make, privileged patriarchy. It's there: you can see it every day. I'm not denying it.
But is there a way for this Wholeness to flourish without always towing along the labels?
This isn't a condemnation of her book, or nitpicking over every term. I acknowledge the breadth and beauty of her words; I acknowledge her desire for holy community. I resonated with her loneliness and grief; I sat with her as she watched her life fall apart.
Maybe I'm just too cynical from growing up in the 90's; maybe I'm just too weary from screaming, and have decided to just shut up, and withdraw into myself.
When you feel like God has a specific purpose for your life, and then you lose literally EVERYTHING, Wholeness seems like a farce. Then, it becomes your only saving grace, your only shelter, your only hope. And sometimes, it also becomes a mantra, one you pursue at the expense of others. But mainly, it becomes something that only time and the Holy Spirit can make more visible.
Medford never states that any of this is accomplished without the power of the Holy Spirit: God is the only one who is perfectly Whole, and who knows how to fully knit the rent pieces together.
The point of any righteous book is to create conversations: hard conversations, conversations seasoned with grace, and conversations about how it will not apply to everyone exactly.
I have a feeling that Medford and I have personalities on opposite ends of the spectrum, which is why I had some issues with what she wrote. However, that is a good thing, because I always need to be challenged, and to make sure my worldview hasn't become too much of a closed circuit.
I sincerely hope she finds a Wholeness, here and now, and let she experiences healing on this side of heaven. And, I hope she continues to write.
August 22, 2025
I have read Lyndsey's newsletter intermittently and always really love her perspective. I'm so glad I decided to get her book.
In addition to the central message that our hurting bodies are (maybe prophetically??) telling us something about our world, and about the way forward, I really appreciate Lyndsey's example in articulating a spirituality that embraces self, presence, community, and all of creation, and rightly identifies "empire"--not our neighbors--as the true obstacle to a world guided by love.
Hers is a Christian spirituality as I believe it may be meant to be ... namely, a radical presence to existence, without hate. In her example, I see the healing and love we can miss out on when groups and individuals who are mainly focused on domination and control dominate religious and spiritual conversations in such a way that many of us are alienated from narratives, practices, and groups that would be our spiritual sustenance.
But if we are going to continue to pursue a way forward, then deep, deep spiritual strength is something we all desperately need.
Many of us have walked away from any kind of faith altogether because of the pain we've encountered there. In its place, we may try to integrate new practices or perspectives, to varying degrees of fulfillment. But often, there is a sort of vacuum, and we really feel the absence. At least I do. For me, the total rejection of Christ (through conflating him, in this time of times, with White Christian Nationalism) in pursuit of other sources of spiritual guidance sometimes feels like fumbling in the dark when we know darn well that there's a flashlight in our pocket.
Not everyone will connect with that, and of course that's okay, but I just appreciate Lyndsey's unique voice in this respect. When she writes about Jesus, I feel palpably nourished by her own relationship with him and her careful meditation on his life. I think others will feel the same, regardless of what their own spiritual traditions are or have been.
And last thing- you don't need to have an identified chronic illness or disability to connect with the message of this book. I don't. I think it would be good if this book lands in the hands of as many different people leading different lives as possible. Possibly that goes without saying.
"When I became the man on the mat [due to chronic illness], I had to reckon with the ways I was still letting power and privilege define me even as I'd thought I was trying to resist them. Instead of chasing after money and success in my early twenties, I'd farcically hustled for my worth in what I thought was the opposite direction [through service and the pursuit of authentic community.]. But in fact, the opposite of hustle is stillness. The opposite of unearned privilege is simple human need. The opposite of the world's version of power isn't weakness; it's the power of vulnerability and of the connection that results. The opposite of grounding my identity in Whiteness and middle-class success isn't grounding my identity in resisting those things; it's grounding my identity in the love and acceptance of Jesus. That is where true humility can put down roots, making way for connection and community to blossom."
p. 154, parentheticals mine
Grateful for this book. Good reading, all!
In addition to the central message that our hurting bodies are (maybe prophetically??) telling us something about our world, and about the way forward, I really appreciate Lyndsey's example in articulating a spirituality that embraces self, presence, community, and all of creation, and rightly identifies "empire"--not our neighbors--as the true obstacle to a world guided by love.
Hers is a Christian spirituality as I believe it may be meant to be ... namely, a radical presence to existence, without hate. In her example, I see the healing and love we can miss out on when groups and individuals who are mainly focused on domination and control dominate religious and spiritual conversations in such a way that many of us are alienated from narratives, practices, and groups that would be our spiritual sustenance.
But if we are going to continue to pursue a way forward, then deep, deep spiritual strength is something we all desperately need.
Many of us have walked away from any kind of faith altogether because of the pain we've encountered there. In its place, we may try to integrate new practices or perspectives, to varying degrees of fulfillment. But often, there is a sort of vacuum, and we really feel the absence. At least I do. For me, the total rejection of Christ (through conflating him, in this time of times, with White Christian Nationalism) in pursuit of other sources of spiritual guidance sometimes feels like fumbling in the dark when we know darn well that there's a flashlight in our pocket.
Not everyone will connect with that, and of course that's okay, but I just appreciate Lyndsey's unique voice in this respect. When she writes about Jesus, I feel palpably nourished by her own relationship with him and her careful meditation on his life. I think others will feel the same, regardless of what their own spiritual traditions are or have been.
And last thing- you don't need to have an identified chronic illness or disability to connect with the message of this book. I don't. I think it would be good if this book lands in the hands of as many different people leading different lives as possible. Possibly that goes without saying.
"When I became the man on the mat [due to chronic illness], I had to reckon with the ways I was still letting power and privilege define me even as I'd thought I was trying to resist them. Instead of chasing after money and success in my early twenties, I'd farcically hustled for my worth in what I thought was the opposite direction [through service and the pursuit of authentic community.]. But in fact, the opposite of hustle is stillness. The opposite of unearned privilege is simple human need. The opposite of the world's version of power isn't weakness; it's the power of vulnerability and of the connection that results. The opposite of grounding my identity in Whiteness and middle-class success isn't grounding my identity in resisting those things; it's grounding my identity in the love and acceptance of Jesus. That is where true humility can put down roots, making way for connection and community to blossom."
p. 154, parentheticals mine
Grateful for this book. Good reading, all!
March 20, 2023
Living with a rare autoimmune disease, Lyndsey Medford reflects on her journey of healing in a world that is sick itself. Poverty, systemic racism, and sin all affect health, yet without acknowledging and addressing the interdependent ecosystem we live in, we cannot begin to heal individually and communally.
“Sixty percent of US adults live with chronic illness.”
For those who experience chronic illness, MY BODY AND OTHER CRUMBLING EMPIRES is a testament to the all too familiar struggles faced by many. Medford writes in a friendly tone, validating people with chronic illness, especially those who feel unseen and unbelieved by their invisible illnesses. As a theology student, her religion is clearly important to her. As someone who is not religious, I never felt that any of the religious references in the book came off as preachy or otherwise off-putting. I appreciated this and found it interesting to see her connections between religion, illness, and healing. She addresses a range of topics including burnout, toxic capitalism, the need for community, cultural pressures, the need for systemic change, the medical industry and healthcare systems, Eastern and Indigenous versus Western medical practices, chronic stress, privilege, poverty, ableism, multifaceted healing, social isolation and loneliness, social justice, environmental health, public health, self-care, and more. Her journey of healing is intertwined throughout the book. She reminds us that having a relationship with our body is important. She acknowledges the privilege she has in her socioeconomic status and race that affords her to have access to certain care. This is both a sad and encouraging read. Sad in that so many people deal with chronic illness yet do not have access to treatment, can’t get properly diagnosed to begin with, aren’t believed by others because their illness is invisible, or are culturally pushed to “just tough it out” because of the need to be as normal as possible. Encouraging in that those with chronic illness are not alone and as communities we can work together to produce systemic change. It’s a matter of that actually occurring.
MY BODY AND OTHER CRUMBLING EMPIRES was a well-written and informative read that I’d recommend.
Thank you to Broadleaf Books for the giveaway copy.
“Sixty percent of US adults live with chronic illness.”
For those who experience chronic illness, MY BODY AND OTHER CRUMBLING EMPIRES is a testament to the all too familiar struggles faced by many. Medford writes in a friendly tone, validating people with chronic illness, especially those who feel unseen and unbelieved by their invisible illnesses. As a theology student, her religion is clearly important to her. As someone who is not religious, I never felt that any of the religious references in the book came off as preachy or otherwise off-putting. I appreciated this and found it interesting to see her connections between religion, illness, and healing. She addresses a range of topics including burnout, toxic capitalism, the need for community, cultural pressures, the need for systemic change, the medical industry and healthcare systems, Eastern and Indigenous versus Western medical practices, chronic stress, privilege, poverty, ableism, multifaceted healing, social isolation and loneliness, social justice, environmental health, public health, self-care, and more. Her journey of healing is intertwined throughout the book. She reminds us that having a relationship with our body is important. She acknowledges the privilege she has in her socioeconomic status and race that affords her to have access to certain care. This is both a sad and encouraging read. Sad in that so many people deal with chronic illness yet do not have access to treatment, can’t get properly diagnosed to begin with, aren’t believed by others because their illness is invisible, or are culturally pushed to “just tough it out” because of the need to be as normal as possible. Encouraging in that those with chronic illness are not alone and as communities we can work together to produce systemic change. It’s a matter of that actually occurring.
MY BODY AND OTHER CRUMBLING EMPIRES was a well-written and informative read that I’d recommend.
Thank you to Broadleaf Books for the giveaway copy.
April 6, 2023
My Body and Other Crumbling Empires by Lyndsey Medford was not exactly what I was expecting, but ended up being just what I needed.
I thought it was going to be more of a resource on how one can cope with chronic illness. While I know every dis-ease is different, I thought she would be giving examples of her daily life and how she navigates it to make the pain more tolerable.
Medford does do this but it’s more in a broad way that encourages the reader to embrace their community and focus on what is good in the world, which may sound trite but the way she writes I never felt that way.
I appreciated how she recognizes that she is privileged in many ways, one of which is where she has the financial ability to not work so she can focus on healing, but time and again, she acknowledges that so many people in this world can’t for so many reasons. She also delves into many of the other injustices in regards to the health care system and in communities without giving a step by step guide to activism. But the way she writes makes the reader feel like they are snuggled under a fuzzy blanket on the couch with a cup of tea talking with a good friend.
I also liked that while she talked about Jesus and correlated some of his teaching to what is going on in the world and detailed it to healing, she wrote it in such a way that if you are not religious you can easily skip those sections and continue on with her thoughts and the story of what she’s been through.
After I finished reading My Body and Other Crumbling Empires I did feel uplifted and felt a renewed energy to get out and become more involved in the community.
I thought it was going to be more of a resource on how one can cope with chronic illness. While I know every dis-ease is different, I thought she would be giving examples of her daily life and how she navigates it to make the pain more tolerable.
Medford does do this but it’s more in a broad way that encourages the reader to embrace their community and focus on what is good in the world, which may sound trite but the way she writes I never felt that way.
I appreciated how she recognizes that she is privileged in many ways, one of which is where she has the financial ability to not work so she can focus on healing, but time and again, she acknowledges that so many people in this world can’t for so many reasons. She also delves into many of the other injustices in regards to the health care system and in communities without giving a step by step guide to activism. But the way she writes makes the reader feel like they are snuggled under a fuzzy blanket on the couch with a cup of tea talking with a good friend.
I also liked that while she talked about Jesus and correlated some of his teaching to what is going on in the world and detailed it to healing, she wrote it in such a way that if you are not religious you can easily skip those sections and continue on with her thoughts and the story of what she’s been through.
After I finished reading My Body and Other Crumbling Empires I did feel uplifted and felt a renewed energy to get out and become more involved in the community.
November 22, 2023
Actual rating 3.5 stars.
I firmly believe truth scaffolds. This is a good thing, but when you get involved in something like say social justice or holistic gospel work, a lot of the messages start to sound the same. So it is through no fault of Lyndsey Medford that her book tread so much familiar ground for me, ground that I've already read most recently from folks like Kaitlin Curtice, Amy Kenny, and the incomparable Kate Bowler. This isn't a bad thing, it just means that this book, in which Medford both parallels and situates her struggle with a rare autoimmune disorder with larger systemic problems in our country, had little new to offer me. I don't want to sound callous; the memoir aspects that Medford shares about her illness are of course her own journey and I would never minimize the pain she has and continues to experience. And I don't want to say that her work has nothing to offer. Her passion for systemic justice and holistic healing through the lens of the gospel is palpable. For those just starting to look into these topics, her call to action is necessary and timely. However for me, I felt her entire premise could have been explored in an essay rather than an entire book, and it began to feel stale after a while. I will say, Medford's best moments for me were her asides in which she spoke of Jesus's healing work and relationships. Her depictions of Christ and his imagined conversations were incredibly moving. Overall, not reinventing the wheel, but I wish Medford well as she clearly had her heart in the right place, and I hope her message reaches the right receptive readers.
I firmly believe truth scaffolds. This is a good thing, but when you get involved in something like say social justice or holistic gospel work, a lot of the messages start to sound the same. So it is through no fault of Lyndsey Medford that her book tread so much familiar ground for me, ground that I've already read most recently from folks like Kaitlin Curtice, Amy Kenny, and the incomparable Kate Bowler. This isn't a bad thing, it just means that this book, in which Medford both parallels and situates her struggle with a rare autoimmune disorder with larger systemic problems in our country, had little new to offer me. I don't want to sound callous; the memoir aspects that Medford shares about her illness are of course her own journey and I would never minimize the pain she has and continues to experience. And I don't want to say that her work has nothing to offer. Her passion for systemic justice and holistic healing through the lens of the gospel is palpable. For those just starting to look into these topics, her call to action is necessary and timely. However for me, I felt her entire premise could have been explored in an essay rather than an entire book, and it began to feel stale after a while. I will say, Medford's best moments for me were her asides in which she spoke of Jesus's healing work and relationships. Her depictions of Christ and his imagined conversations were incredibly moving. Overall, not reinventing the wheel, but I wish Medford well as she clearly had her heart in the right place, and I hope her message reaches the right receptive readers.
March 9, 2023
Medford narrates a powerful journey towards Wholeness. Her book challenges readers to think about chronic illness, health, and the connectedness of creation. With candor and courage, she narrates her journey of learning to listen to her body and treat a chronic illness. There are so many wonderful lines in this book that resonated with me.
As one who is driven towards achievement and a strong Enneagram 3, it was convicting to be asked to grapple with the reality of sickness--in bodies, mindsets, and health systems--when I prefer wellness and efficiency. Her words challenge readers to think about what affects our systems that seek to disregard and devalue humans with disabilities and challenges that are not esteemed by dominant culture. Furthermore, the book challenged me as a follower of Jesus--to examine and reflect on the ways in which I lack compassion for myself, my body and my neighbors.
I highly recommend--especially for those who are struggling through chronic illness or love those who are.
As one who is driven towards achievement and a strong Enneagram 3, it was convicting to be asked to grapple with the reality of sickness--in bodies, mindsets, and health systems--when I prefer wellness and efficiency. Her words challenge readers to think about what affects our systems that seek to disregard and devalue humans with disabilities and challenges that are not esteemed by dominant culture. Furthermore, the book challenged me as a follower of Jesus--to examine and reflect on the ways in which I lack compassion for myself, my body and my neighbors.
I highly recommend--especially for those who are struggling through chronic illness or love those who are.
July 28, 2024
I can't say this book was for me, and that's OK.
Lyndsey is a former Evangelical, and holds a masters in theology. She is now a feminist and it seems that most of her beliefs align with my own, and while there is a LOT of good things in this book, it was a little heavy handed with connecting everything with the bible/Jesus/God. Every time I found myself nodding along and thinking "yes, yes, yes!" I was jolted out of it with scripture.
I hold a lot of discomfort around religion due to my own lived experiences, and also from watching so many people use it to harm others, so it was refreshing to listen to someone use the bible to talk about how we need to take better care of ourselves, our communities and our planet rather than use it to shield their own bigotry.
It is important to step out of one's comfort zone sometimes to see things from another perspective, I am glad I did and I am still solidly in the "religion is not for me" category, but I am glad this books exists for the folks who do find comfort in Christianity, and don't use it as an excuse to harm others.
Lyndsey is a former Evangelical, and holds a masters in theology. She is now a feminist and it seems that most of her beliefs align with my own, and while there is a LOT of good things in this book, it was a little heavy handed with connecting everything with the bible/Jesus/God. Every time I found myself nodding along and thinking "yes, yes, yes!" I was jolted out of it with scripture.
I hold a lot of discomfort around religion due to my own lived experiences, and also from watching so many people use it to harm others, so it was refreshing to listen to someone use the bible to talk about how we need to take better care of ourselves, our communities and our planet rather than use it to shield their own bigotry.
It is important to step out of one's comfort zone sometimes to see things from another perspective, I am glad I did and I am still solidly in the "religion is not for me" category, but I am glad this books exists for the folks who do find comfort in Christianity, and don't use it as an excuse to harm others.
May 15, 2023
Simply put, this book is a balm to the soul. In the same vein as Wintering by Katherine May, Lyndsey walks you through her experience with a rare chronic autoimmune disease and how it mirrors the Earth and all her systems. She speaks of learning to work with her body and it’s natural cycles, much like the cycles of the earth. She’s un afraid to talk about the brokenness in every system and how only through caring for each other can we hope to truly heal all that is broken. Lyndsey is a gentle voice in a world where everyone is screaming. While reading this book, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and delivered my baby early. Reading it helped me to slow down and focus on truly healing rather than rushing through to fix my body. Her book is one I will come back to again and again in those seasons of my life where I am broken and in need of a gentle voice in the darkness, reminding me there is light though I cannot see it.
June 30, 2024
I very nearly quit this book so many times - and that’s not normal for me. I did appreciate the memoir parts of the book, as it was interesting to hear how she had treated and learned to manage her chronic illness. I can identify with a number of the things she experienced in that journey. But the rest of it…let’s just say you’ll struggle with this book, too, unless you are one who also likes to throw around words like co-evolving, empire, capitalism, patriarchy, privilege, systemic, colonizer, colonial culture, justice, ableism, and on and on. She does identify some real problems in our world today (alongside others that are media constructs and not real problems, IMO), but not once does she point out that sin is the true problem or that Jesus (as our fully-God sinless, resurrected Savior, not as an extra-good human as she seemingly presents Him) is our only hope. Sigh. Guess my initial inclination was correct and I should have just put it down after the first few pages.
March 7, 2023
This beautifully written book is the perfect combination of personal story and intellectual investigation into how our bodies connect to our culture and planet. It encouraged me not to view my disabled body as a thing to fight against, but as a beloved being to listen to and learn from. Lyndsey has a real gift for making connections between different experiences and ideas, and several times I gasped at the power of her insights and the way they made me re-see the world. She has an extraordinary mind that I greatly enjoyed following! Anyone who cares about health, social justice, the environment, spirituality, and the connections between all those topics will love and learn from this book!
August 18, 2023
As the author writes in the conclusion, "this book is about living, here and now, in a crumbling empire." It's one of a new wave of offerings written by women that detail not only their struggle to find healing but the brokenness of the American healthcare system. If you have the good fortune of being healthy, you'll learn what it's like for those of us who aren't. If you, like me and Lyndsey, have found health illusive, you will most likely feel heard and find encouragement in her book.
September 21, 2025
Read for another book club. Overall I liked this book, some of the more religious aspects didn't really resonate with me- I'm not a very religious person so that was expected. I did help be to think about bodies and how we care for an heal them in a different way. I also liked some of the overall themes of community building, acknowledgement of capitalism and how it is not a system conducive to listening to our bodies and slowing down.
March 31, 2023
This was a challenging book, in all the best ways. I was especially challenged in Medford's chapter on how we try to control our bodies, in the name of productivity and capitalism. I feel that every day of my life, and appreciate Medford's naming of that, as well as the challenge to see ourselves as completely interconnected, all of us in need of healing to be made whole.
January 8, 2025
I appreciate the intension of the book; however it reads like a 15 year olds girls diary. Often I felt like the book marginalized groups opposed to focusing on the greater issues at hand the lacking of medical accessibility. I was highly disappointed because the reviews of this book were positive and uplifting.
August 18, 2023
This is such an empowering book. The author refers to Christ’s teachings to inform us about the nature of healing, adapting, and paying attention to our bodies and our communities. I absolutely recommend this to anyone struggling with chronic physical or mental illness.
October 2, 2023
Some really interesting ideas overall, but had some rambling that I skimmed through (and maybe that’s from where she’s a theology student and my brain is the opposite, whatever that might be.) I think I wanted some clear actions to take and that’s not why she wrote this.
dnf
January 7, 2024Really liked the concept (not to mention the cover!) but it's too heavy on the religion for my preference.
August 18, 2024
4⭐️
obsessed with this title
obsessed with this title
February 7, 2025
Pretty good read
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