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Mother Brain: Separating Myth from Biology – the Science of the Parental Brain
A groundbreaking exploration of the parental brain that untangles insidious myths from complicated realities, Mother Brain explodes the concept of “maternal instinct” and tells a new story about what it means to become a parent.
Before journalist Chelsea Conaboy gave birth, she anticipated the joy of holding her newborn, the endless dirty diapers, and the sleepless nights. What she didn’t expect was how different she would feel—a shift in self, as deep as it was disorienting. Something was changing: her brain.
New parents undergo major brain changes, driven by hormones and the deluge of stimuli a baby provides. These neurobiological changes help all parents—birthing or otherwise—adapt in those intense first days and prepare for a long period of learning how to meet their child’s needs. Yet this science is mostly absent from the public conversation about parenthood.
Conaboy delves into the neuroscience to reveal unexpected upsides, generations of scientific neglect, and a powerful new narrative of parenthood.
Before journalist Chelsea Conaboy gave birth, she anticipated the joy of holding her newborn, the endless dirty diapers, and the sleepless nights. What she didn’t expect was how different she would feel—a shift in self, as deep as it was disorienting. Something was changing: her brain.
New parents undergo major brain changes, driven by hormones and the deluge of stimuli a baby provides. These neurobiological changes help all parents—birthing or otherwise—adapt in those intense first days and prepare for a long period of learning how to meet their child’s needs. Yet this science is mostly absent from the public conversation about parenthood.
Conaboy delves into the neuroscience to reveal unexpected upsides, generations of scientific neglect, and a powerful new narrative of parenthood.
261 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 15, 2022
403 people are currently reading
7029 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 169 reviews
March 5, 2022
I had such high hopes for this book. I was quite drawn in by the neuroscience aspect, as it is a field I am passionate about. However, I didn't realize the author was a journalist with zero background in science. It was very obvious through much of the book. While she speaks with some experts, it seems the book is mainly her asserting her personal beliefs with nothing to actually back them up. She use various studies, but many contain extremely small sample sizes and are not significant enough to base a foundation upon. While anyone can justify their view by cherry picking data (she does a lot of this) and looking for outcomes, over quality studies or experiments, it does not validate your opinion. Many times she speaks negatively of experts in their respective fields, in fields she has no education in, and she even said in the book, multiple times that she didn't have data to back something up, but just felt like something was so. While the writing itself wasn't bad, comments like that further invalidated her arguments. The organization of the book itself was a bit scattered and many parts were quite redundant. Very few points on neuroscience were actually made and she spends way too much time exerting political beliefs and rallying for policy changes. Perhaps it is asking too much as she is not a scientist or a doctor, but I was really hoping for more actual neuroscience. She mostly references experiments of parents look at faces of babies. I understand the field is a growing one and there isn't as much out there on the subject as she may like, especially since it isn't a field she works in and is experience, but the book really could then use a title change if she didn't have enough information to actually write on it. While there was some interesting tidbits, the info garnered could be summarized into an essay.
September 11, 2022
If you are a new mother, you may enjoy this book. It can possibly help with the feelings of helplessness and that you are not alone in your journey of motherhood/parenthood. This book gives much more experience and belief type stances with some science.
As the title states, I expected this to be a book about ‘How Neuroscience is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood”. The title of this book is misleading. It turned out to touch on this only slightly from a scientific standpoint. It should be noted that the author is not a neurologist or anyone with a scientific background. I was unaware of this until I read the preface. Had it not been an ARC, I probably would have put it down.
I also want to note that a good bit of the beliefs this author presents to us, the reader, I agree with, but I want to focus on the book itself.
This book was far too long. The scientific research given could have been summed up in about a quarter to a third of this book. Because of this interesting research is why I gave it 3 stars. As for the rest the author went to point out a lot of bias from male and female research, the lack of research in this field, and how can the science really hold up when long standing environment not studied as much. There were also areas where she describes waiting somewhere for her interview with someone that felt too long and unnecessary. There were also many experiences given to being a parent rather than the science of it. This just isn’t what I expected from the book.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC audiobook.
As the title states, I expected this to be a book about ‘How Neuroscience is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood”. The title of this book is misleading. It turned out to touch on this only slightly from a scientific standpoint. It should be noted that the author is not a neurologist or anyone with a scientific background. I was unaware of this until I read the preface. Had it not been an ARC, I probably would have put it down.
I also want to note that a good bit of the beliefs this author presents to us, the reader, I agree with, but I want to focus on the book itself.
This book was far too long. The scientific research given could have been summed up in about a quarter to a third of this book. Because of this interesting research is why I gave it 3 stars. As for the rest the author went to point out a lot of bias from male and female research, the lack of research in this field, and how can the science really hold up when long standing environment not studied as much. There were also areas where she describes waiting somewhere for her interview with someone that felt too long and unnecessary. There were also many experiences given to being a parent rather than the science of it. This just isn’t what I expected from the book.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC audiobook.
August 22, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advance audio copy of this book.
I DNFed this audio book at about 35% of the way through. I am certainly interested in this topic and would like to know more about how our brains change after becoming mothers, especially as I'm a mom of two myself and became a mother later in life than most people do. However, I would prefer to read about topics in neuroscience from people who have actually studied neuroscience rather than from journalists who have a history of writing about health. I think I'm becoming a cranky old woman when it comes to my reading, because it often feels like writers who are younger than I am (which is quite a few of them) are not being very thorough in their work and are catering to an audience that doesn't require much of them. This might be an unfair assessment since I didn't finish listening to the book, but when I had made it more than a third of the way through and hadn't learned anything new, I figured I could safely put it aside. I know very little about neuroscience, so I was expecting to learn new and interesting things. This would definitely appeal to folks who haven't given it much thought or read about this topic before, as an entry into these ideas. It's not for me.
I DNFed this audio book at about 35% of the way through. I am certainly interested in this topic and would like to know more about how our brains change after becoming mothers, especially as I'm a mom of two myself and became a mother later in life than most people do. However, I would prefer to read about topics in neuroscience from people who have actually studied neuroscience rather than from journalists who have a history of writing about health. I think I'm becoming a cranky old woman when it comes to my reading, because it often feels like writers who are younger than I am (which is quite a few of them) are not being very thorough in their work and are catering to an audience that doesn't require much of them. This might be an unfair assessment since I didn't finish listening to the book, but when I had made it more than a third of the way through and hadn't learned anything new, I figured I could safely put it aside. I know very little about neuroscience, so I was expecting to learn new and interesting things. This would definitely appeal to folks who haven't given it much thought or read about this topic before, as an entry into these ideas. It's not for me.
January 20, 2024
**Goodreads Giveaway Winner**
I've already read a lot of criticism of this book, some of which I think is fair and some of which is not. Chelsea Conaboy is a mother and public health journalist, and “Mother Brain” is her survey of the neuroscience research related to the experience of parenthood: from conception, labor and delivery, through the infant years into childhood. Conaboy is an engaging writer, and I walked away with some interesting tidbits of learning.
The unfair criticisms:
-"She's not a scientist, just a journalist/She's inserting her own opinion too much." I think that some of the best books that pull together the research base on a given topic are written by journalists. As a mental health professional, I often learn something from writers who have examined the research and interviewed luminaries in my own field. Sometimes the reporting does end up being clunky, fuzzy, or inaccurate (as in Jesse Singal's Quick Fix, which I read just before this), but I don't think that's the case here. Conaboy uses her own experience to declare her interests in the topic and how the research aligns with her own parenting journey, but she is quite careful in allowing for a diversity of experience by race, culture, socioeconomics, and gender identity. She also is transparent in saying where the science ends and her own hunches begin.
-"This book is too technical/this book is not technical enough." I felt she does a decent job describing the nuances of brain research while balancing these with stories and reflections. A reader can dip in and out of the finer details as needed, and take what they need from it.
-"Many of these studies are small and not worth focusing on." This is pretty much her overriding point: too much emphasis has been placed on a limited set of participants and questions, to the exclusion of other more important areas of inquiry. She identifies the historical and political forces at work to ensure that research questions that align with a male-dominant, heteronormative view get funded. Her anecdote about interviewing T. Berry Brazleton is especially affecting.
The fair:
-"The title is misleading." As many have noted, so much of the content of the book is intended to widen the focus from women who give birth to their children to the "everyone else" involved in this process we call parenting. At the very least, the title should use quotations marks around "Mother Brain" to hint that the focus here extends much wider. I can't imagine many interested in the data on fathers, for example, will expect to find that focus based on the title.
-"The book is poorly organized and says in many chapters what it could say in an essay." While I don't think all that's here could be pared down to an essay, I do agree that the organizational style works against the reader internalizing important ideas that are sometimes buried in the text. It feels like Conaboy thinks the idea of "Maternal Instinct" is so entrenched that she needs the amount of content she uses to disprove it, but I suspect many readers will readily agree with her point and not find it to be the revolutionary debunking the author feels it is.
I think a skilled editor could have reorganized the book to create a more linear though-line, since it does end up taking the reader in circles at times. The same book with slightly less content and a better organizational structure could have really been dynamite. This is especially important, because I suspect many postpartum mothers will attempt to read this book in fits and starts, a few pages at a time, as they make their way through a day of childcare. Therefore the experience of reading this book could and should be a less effortful one.
I've already read a lot of criticism of this book, some of which I think is fair and some of which is not. Chelsea Conaboy is a mother and public health journalist, and “Mother Brain” is her survey of the neuroscience research related to the experience of parenthood: from conception, labor and delivery, through the infant years into childhood. Conaboy is an engaging writer, and I walked away with some interesting tidbits of learning.
The unfair criticisms:
-"She's not a scientist, just a journalist/She's inserting her own opinion too much." I think that some of the best books that pull together the research base on a given topic are written by journalists. As a mental health professional, I often learn something from writers who have examined the research and interviewed luminaries in my own field. Sometimes the reporting does end up being clunky, fuzzy, or inaccurate (as in Jesse Singal's Quick Fix, which I read just before this), but I don't think that's the case here. Conaboy uses her own experience to declare her interests in the topic and how the research aligns with her own parenting journey, but she is quite careful in allowing for a diversity of experience by race, culture, socioeconomics, and gender identity. She also is transparent in saying where the science ends and her own hunches begin.
-"This book is too technical/this book is not technical enough." I felt she does a decent job describing the nuances of brain research while balancing these with stories and reflections. A reader can dip in and out of the finer details as needed, and take what they need from it.
-"Many of these studies are small and not worth focusing on." This is pretty much her overriding point: too much emphasis has been placed on a limited set of participants and questions, to the exclusion of other more important areas of inquiry. She identifies the historical and political forces at work to ensure that research questions that align with a male-dominant, heteronormative view get funded. Her anecdote about interviewing T. Berry Brazleton is especially affecting.
The fair:
-"The title is misleading." As many have noted, so much of the content of the book is intended to widen the focus from women who give birth to their children to the "everyone else" involved in this process we call parenting. At the very least, the title should use quotations marks around "Mother Brain" to hint that the focus here extends much wider. I can't imagine many interested in the data on fathers, for example, will expect to find that focus based on the title.
-"The book is poorly organized and says in many chapters what it could say in an essay." While I don't think all that's here could be pared down to an essay, I do agree that the organizational style works against the reader internalizing important ideas that are sometimes buried in the text. It feels like Conaboy thinks the idea of "Maternal Instinct" is so entrenched that she needs the amount of content she uses to disprove it, but I suspect many readers will readily agree with her point and not find it to be the revolutionary debunking the author feels it is.
I think a skilled editor could have reorganized the book to create a more linear though-line, since it does end up taking the reader in circles at times. The same book with slightly less content and a better organizational structure could have really been dynamite. This is especially important, because I suspect many postpartum mothers will attempt to read this book in fits and starts, a few pages at a time, as they make their way through a day of childcare. Therefore the experience of reading this book could and should be a less effortful one.
August 15, 2023
Such an interesting and validating book. Just within the first few pages, I felt so seen, and as the book progressed I learned so much about how parenthood (including for non-gestational parents) changes our brains and lives in incredible ways. Some of my favorite things I learned:
- Parenting is a skill that we learn, not a talent we're born with.
- Becoming a parent changes our brains in similar ways to puberty. The loss of grey matter that we typically associate with "mommy brain" and forgetfulness is likely actually our brains becoming more efficient—doing more with less.
- Non-gestational parents can experience similar brain changes to pregnant people, and those changes are correlated with how much time they spend with and invest in their baby.
- Parenthood can possibly help your brain age slower.
I will say that one frustrating thing about this book is that there's just not enough research to fully draw conclusions (even the ones above) and the author mentions several times that the studies were small and there aren't very many of them. I think this is a great, fascinating entrance into the world of neuroscience around parenthood, but it's only the very beginning. Due to that, I think the book could have been a lot shorter and felt repetitive toward the end.
- Parenting is a skill that we learn, not a talent we're born with.
- Becoming a parent changes our brains in similar ways to puberty. The loss of grey matter that we typically associate with "mommy brain" and forgetfulness is likely actually our brains becoming more efficient—doing more with less.
- Non-gestational parents can experience similar brain changes to pregnant people, and those changes are correlated with how much time they spend with and invest in their baby.
- Parenthood can possibly help your brain age slower.
I will say that one frustrating thing about this book is that there's just not enough research to fully draw conclusions (even the ones above) and the author mentions several times that the studies were small and there aren't very many of them. I think this is a great, fascinating entrance into the world of neuroscience around parenthood, but it's only the very beginning. Due to that, I think the book could have been a lot shorter and felt repetitive toward the end.
August 25, 2022
What I love most about this book is picturing the author physically (virtually?) organizing mounds of scientific studies to find the nuggets that pack this book. And to learn this is just the tip of the iceberg because “mother brain” research is in its nascency.
Alloparents! As someone who chose not to have kids, but has many special kids in my life, it was really cool to learn about this.
I loved how the book tied science to common sense— and made humanistic points— of how our society should support families with a network of care.
This book is an observation deck for viewing a much larger pool of people as being changed by having kids in our lives.
Alloparents! As someone who chose not to have kids, but has many special kids in my life, it was really cool to learn about this.
I loved how the book tied science to common sense— and made humanistic points— of how our society should support families with a network of care.
This book is an observation deck for viewing a much larger pool of people as being changed by having kids in our lives.
January 20, 2023
After the author had a baby, she realized a shift in her brain. So the author began researching the science of the parental brain to look at the changes based on recent/current research in neurobiology, hormones, brain chemistry, and parenthood. One in five new parents develops some kind of disorder, mood, or anxiety postpartum. We spend a lot of time learning about women's bodies and what they go through during pregnancy. Then the focus becomes child development. This book focuses on what happens after the baby is born and describes the changes that occur in men and women when raising a child.
The fascinating studies changed my outlook on my early postpartum experience. I loved when the author talked about attachment theory. Despite the title "Mother's Brain," this book looks at the neuroscience of mothers, fathers, and infants. This is an excellent tool for new parents who want to know about the changes they can expect in their babies and themselves.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...
The fascinating studies changed my outlook on my early postpartum experience. I loved when the author talked about attachment theory. Despite the title "Mother's Brain," this book looks at the neuroscience of mothers, fathers, and infants. This is an excellent tool for new parents who want to know about the changes they can expect in their babies and themselves.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...
Read
March 7, 2022" ' maternal behavior' is, in fact, a basic human characteristic, not uniquely maternal after all" (Ch. 1)
"New parenthood is a developmental stage that takes time." Ch. 1
I started skim-reading this partway through. Then stopped altogether. The premise was fascinating, but more research on this topic needs to be done. The studies the author cited were often inconclusive, too small, not published or peer-reviewed. I grew weary after many pages spent simply summarizing such studies. I agree from personal experience that caregiving changes the brain, and that parenting is a developmental stage that takes time to unfold. I wish I had known these things earlier, and that more research and knowledge were available to help new parents, but it seems this awareness is just unfolding. I hope for tomorrow's parents it will become more established, but this book is not quite the means to do it.
I also grow so weary of books that explain everything about human behavior in terms of natural selection. It's like explaining someone's journey from New York to San Francisco by describing how a train operates. It addresses the HOW but not the WHY. Without a spiritual element, the study of neurology becomes a deadening exercise in mechanization. And that particularly does not belong in any discussion of human relationships. We are more than brains walking around in bodies, and it's exactly our relationships of care that can open us to understanding that. So I'll be thrilled when a book appears that can put those pieces together.
"New parenthood is a developmental stage that takes time." Ch. 1
I started skim-reading this partway through. Then stopped altogether. The premise was fascinating, but more research on this topic needs to be done. The studies the author cited were often inconclusive, too small, not published or peer-reviewed. I grew weary after many pages spent simply summarizing such studies. I agree from personal experience that caregiving changes the brain, and that parenting is a developmental stage that takes time to unfold. I wish I had known these things earlier, and that more research and knowledge were available to help new parents, but it seems this awareness is just unfolding. I hope for tomorrow's parents it will become more established, but this book is not quite the means to do it.
I also grow so weary of books that explain everything about human behavior in terms of natural selection. It's like explaining someone's journey from New York to San Francisco by describing how a train operates. It addresses the HOW but not the WHY. Without a spiritual element, the study of neurology becomes a deadening exercise in mechanization. And that particularly does not belong in any discussion of human relationships. We are more than brains walking around in bodies, and it's exactly our relationships of care that can open us to understanding that. So I'll be thrilled when a book appears that can put those pieces together.
August 18, 2022
As a new parent, I found this absolutely fascinating. The topics explored were presented in a way that felt informative without going over my head, which I appreciate as a not particularly science minded person. Despite what you might think based on the title, I think this book did an excellent job examining the neurological effects of parenthood from all angles. Of course being a gestational mother has a massive effect on a person, but I’m so glad this book also included the experience of fathers as well as trans parents, adoptive parents, caregivers, extended family, etc. It’s shocking to learn how little research has been done on the topic and how much we simply label things as a “biological response” without any actual proof. I particularly enjoyed the part about how brands and influencers are attempting to capitalize on the self-doubt of new parents with “quick fix” programs and products, which is something I have become hyper aware of since becoming a mom and find super gross. If the neurology of parenthood is a topic of interest then I’d definitely recommend this one!
Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced listener copy.
Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced listener copy.
August 12, 2022
This book offers wonderful insight into a relatively new and under-researched science of parenthood.
The author debunks myths with real scientific evidence, exploring the ways that becoming a parent changes the brain. Down-to-Earth language explains many concepts in an easy-to-understand way that is relatable and impactful. Unlike the title suggests, this book focuses on parenthood rather than motherhood, citing the adoptive, trans, and other parents that are equally valid journeys into motherhood as gestational mothers. From mental health and PPD, to sex and gender, work, equity and science, and time, this book aims to change the way we view and talk about parenthood.
Fans of Emily Oster will love this book!
The author debunks myths with real scientific evidence, exploring the ways that becoming a parent changes the brain. Down-to-Earth language explains many concepts in an easy-to-understand way that is relatable and impactful. Unlike the title suggests, this book focuses on parenthood rather than motherhood, citing the adoptive, trans, and other parents that are equally valid journeys into motherhood as gestational mothers. From mental health and PPD, to sex and gender, work, equity and science, and time, this book aims to change the way we view and talk about parenthood.
Fans of Emily Oster will love this book!
August 23, 2022
I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads Giveaways. Thank you!
Mother Brain dives into the science and history of motherhood to try to illuminate the changes in our brains as we become mothers. Our brains surge with hormones and make new connections that will help us to care for our babies in the urgent present and into the future. A key point the author makes is that mothers aren't the only people who change. Any caregiver is changed by caring for a baby or as the author puts it "attention is the beginning of devotion". Those brain changes from care can come to parents of any gender, family (such as grandmothers), and really anyone in the larger social group that takes on the work of caring for the baby. There's no such thing as a "mother instinct" and instead caregiving begins with intense hormonal changes coupled with the sensory experience a baby creates through its cuteness, coos, and cries that demand our immediate attention. Once the babies have our attention, we activate our brain networks that can perceive and respond to other people's mental states as parents/caregivers learn the cues from the baby and help the baby survive and thrive in the long term.
The title of this book is disappointing given how much time and attention the author gives to making a point that mothers are not the only or necessarily the most important relationship in a baby's life. She tries very hard to be inclusive, but unfortunately, the research is barely there for mothers let alone other caregivers. So either this title is trying to reflect that scientific focus or it was forced on her by the publishing company. I think it's the latter, but it's disappointing because there's enough gendering of information around parenting and with a more neutral title maybe other caregivers would be more likely to read it.
A lot of the information in this book was frustrating to read because we're just at the beginning and the studies are small and not given much attention. However, what is here is interesting and validating. The two things I will probably remember from this book are that antidepressants haven't been studied specifically for postpartum disorders which completely shocked me given how concerned the medical community is about it and the constant messaging around seeking help. The other thing was the author discussing the reluctance to share the realities of motherhood with soon-to-be new mothers. I really felt seen as a brand new mother of a 3-month-old who found the struggles of breastfeeding shockingly difficult and then learned almost everyone I knew had similar big struggles and didn't say a word about it before I became a mom.
Overall, this book was an entertaining blend of science, speculation, and storytelling. I hope there will be future books written that can further illuminate this subject as the science progresses.
Mother Brain dives into the science and history of motherhood to try to illuminate the changes in our brains as we become mothers. Our brains surge with hormones and make new connections that will help us to care for our babies in the urgent present and into the future. A key point the author makes is that mothers aren't the only people who change. Any caregiver is changed by caring for a baby or as the author puts it "attention is the beginning of devotion". Those brain changes from care can come to parents of any gender, family (such as grandmothers), and really anyone in the larger social group that takes on the work of caring for the baby. There's no such thing as a "mother instinct" and instead caregiving begins with intense hormonal changes coupled with the sensory experience a baby creates through its cuteness, coos, and cries that demand our immediate attention. Once the babies have our attention, we activate our brain networks that can perceive and respond to other people's mental states as parents/caregivers learn the cues from the baby and help the baby survive and thrive in the long term.
The title of this book is disappointing given how much time and attention the author gives to making a point that mothers are not the only or necessarily the most important relationship in a baby's life. She tries very hard to be inclusive, but unfortunately, the research is barely there for mothers let alone other caregivers. So either this title is trying to reflect that scientific focus or it was forced on her by the publishing company. I think it's the latter, but it's disappointing because there's enough gendering of information around parenting and with a more neutral title maybe other caregivers would be more likely to read it.
A lot of the information in this book was frustrating to read because we're just at the beginning and the studies are small and not given much attention. However, what is here is interesting and validating. The two things I will probably remember from this book are that antidepressants haven't been studied specifically for postpartum disorders which completely shocked me given how concerned the medical community is about it and the constant messaging around seeking help. The other thing was the author discussing the reluctance to share the realities of motherhood with soon-to-be new mothers. I really felt seen as a brand new mother of a 3-month-old who found the struggles of breastfeeding shockingly difficult and then learned almost everyone I knew had similar big struggles and didn't say a word about it before I became a mom.
Overall, this book was an entertaining blend of science, speculation, and storytelling. I hope there will be future books written that can further illuminate this subject as the science progresses.
November 11, 2022
Wait where was the neuroscience
September 28, 2022
A very disappointing read. I was expecting an expert's nuanced look at emerging neuroscience and how it relates to new parents. Instead, this book is written by a journalist with no science background who is just pushing her political agenda. And I say that as someone pretty sympathetic to a lot of her views. Just a huge miss, sadly.
April 4, 2023
A very superficial overview of literature remotely pertaining to motherhood and neuroscience. I had high hopes for this book given the title and overview but alas it did not deliver with the scientific rigor I had hoped for.
June 3, 2023
I got about 60 pages in and I just couldn’t continue. Very little actual scientific information, and the scientific areas that are mentioned just skim the surface but are not deeply explained. I fell asleep while reading twice and had to just give it up.
May 10, 2023
While the premise of this book makes sense that the brain changes after having a child, the writing was dry, scattered and repetitive. Just read the summary.
August 7, 2023
Interesting audiobook for my first week of parenthood but overall a bit rambling on the same themes
February 28, 2025
This was hurt by the fact that I’m not super interested in the topic, but that’s ok! Whenever it got in the weeds of hormones and neuroscience it lost me, too. This could’ve used a diagram of the brain with more explanation of brain basics before jumping into specifics. It’s pop sci after all, and I don’t think it should assume I get the basics already.
My main takeaway is that the brain changes of becoming a parent are not unique to biological mothers. Fathers, adoptive parents, other caregivers, etc. can and do experience the same things in response to the new role.
I think she was also trying to describe what those brain changes are, but… that’s when we got in the weeds and I had difficulty determining what any of it meant practically speaking. Lots about brain activity when looking at baby pics and whatnot. 😂
I wished there had been a nod to people who don’t want to be parents or people who regret becoming parents. We out here! It felt like we might be pathologized if she did bring us up tbh what with all the biological and neurological talk.
I think another good takeaway is the idea that postpartum anxiety/depression to some degree is to be expected and isn’t bad. Which makes perfect sense. This is a complex life change, naturally you won’t go through it all gumdrops and rainbows. Unless you are rich and have tons of support maybe. 😛
My main takeaway is that the brain changes of becoming a parent are not unique to biological mothers. Fathers, adoptive parents, other caregivers, etc. can and do experience the same things in response to the new role.
I think she was also trying to describe what those brain changes are, but… that’s when we got in the weeds and I had difficulty determining what any of it meant practically speaking. Lots about brain activity when looking at baby pics and whatnot. 😂
I wished there had been a nod to people who don’t want to be parents or people who regret becoming parents. We out here! It felt like we might be pathologized if she did bring us up tbh what with all the biological and neurological talk.
I think another good takeaway is the idea that postpartum anxiety/depression to some degree is to be expected and isn’t bad. Which makes perfect sense. This is a complex life change, naturally you won’t go through it all gumdrops and rainbows. Unless you are rich and have tons of support maybe. 😛
June 12, 2024
This book could easily be 1/3 its current length. While the author did provide a likely comprehensive compilation of the neuroscience literature on motherhood (and fatherhood), she often 1) pulled in studies that were irrelevant or 2) speculated about the implications of the studies (many of which weren’t peer reviewed or even published) while possessing no formal background in science. Additionally, Conaboy spent a lot of time talking about the importance and implications of realizing that fathers are capable of experiencing these mental development as well as mothers. I don’t mind this argument. On the contrary, I appreciate it and agree with it. However, sometimes she belabored this point so much, it felt like she was simply venting.
Overall, I think this book is improperly titled. Instead of saying, “How Neuroscience is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood,” it should say, “My Musings on Motherhood and Scientific Efforts to Explain It." That's my main frustration with this book. I expected it to be like 'The Body Keeps the Score.' Instead, it's much more like 'When Breath Becomes Air', albeit less enjoyable to read.
Overall, I think this book is improperly titled. Instead of saying, “How Neuroscience is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood,” it should say, “My Musings on Motherhood and Scientific Efforts to Explain It." That's my main frustration with this book. I expected it to be like 'The Body Keeps the Score.' Instead, it's much more like 'When Breath Becomes Air', albeit less enjoyable to read.
June 5, 2024
This gives a great foundation to understanding the various developments for parents and the science behind community child raising.
December 18, 2023
Fascinating stuff but I do think the internet ruined the phrase "mothering"
September 4, 2022
Mother Brain... thoroughly researched and well explained study over mostly women and a few men before, during, and after pregnancy and parenthood. Results of changes emotionally and physically to the brain are mixed, but somewhat consistent between studies and areas of research. Technical book, but an average non-researcher can still understand the facts and outcomes. Interesting science!
August 26, 2022
This book was incredible, and I wish it had been available earlier in my postpartum journey. This look at the neurological research of what happens during early parenthood was fascinating. It also helped me better understand the changes I experienced and feel less alone in my experience. I'm recommending this to all my friends who have asked me questions about what becoming a parent is really like.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
September 17, 2022
I did enjoy this book, but there wasn't much actual science in it.
The book did validate my own experiences as a mother: my initial feelings were pure terror - not love - but the love developed and deepened over months of caring for my newborn child.
And my brain definitely changed, more from the experience of raising my child than from pregnancy and childbirth.
As someone who was single and homeless as a new mom, I was somewhat offended by the focus on race rather than poverty as it pertains to maternal mortality.
My biggest objection to "woke" liberalism is that it uses race to obscure economic oppression across racial lines.
The book claims, falsely, that white women have the lowest maternal mortality rate, and that racism accounts for a higher maternal mortality rate among black women.
The reality is that Hispanic women have a lower maternal mortality rate than white women, which undermines the claim that "white supremacy" is responsible for high maternal mortality among black women.
Having been a poor single mom, and having received substandard care and suffered extreme maternal stress, my guess is that higher rates of poverty among black women account for higher maternal mortality rates (surely homeless moms of all races suffer high maternal mortality).
But Hispanic women have higher poverty rates than white women - so why is the Hispanic maternal mortality rate lower than that of white women?
The focus on race undermines our ability to find genuine solutions to decreasing maternal mortality.
If not "white supremacy" what is actually causing a high maternal mortality rate among black women? What is causing a lower maternal mortality rate among Hispanic women?
These are important questions that cannot be answered if we insist that white supremacy is to blame for all racial disparities.
And I've learned that being poor has a helluva lot bigger effect on stress and health than being the member of a particular "race".
Still, I did enjoy most of this book, and it validated my own experiences with "Mother Brain" and how it develops over time rather than instantly.
The book clearly had the annoying input of a "sensitivity reader"and I'm grateful it was called "Mother Brain" rather than "Birthing Parent Brain" or "Gestator Brain".
I did enjoy the book, but it is based more on dubious social science than on neuroscience.
The book did validate my own experiences as a mother: my initial feelings were pure terror - not love - but the love developed and deepened over months of caring for my newborn child.
And my brain definitely changed, more from the experience of raising my child than from pregnancy and childbirth.
As someone who was single and homeless as a new mom, I was somewhat offended by the focus on race rather than poverty as it pertains to maternal mortality.
My biggest objection to "woke" liberalism is that it uses race to obscure economic oppression across racial lines.
The book claims, falsely, that white women have the lowest maternal mortality rate, and that racism accounts for a higher maternal mortality rate among black women.
The reality is that Hispanic women have a lower maternal mortality rate than white women, which undermines the claim that "white supremacy" is responsible for high maternal mortality among black women.
Having been a poor single mom, and having received substandard care and suffered extreme maternal stress, my guess is that higher rates of poverty among black women account for higher maternal mortality rates (surely homeless moms of all races suffer high maternal mortality).
But Hispanic women have higher poverty rates than white women - so why is the Hispanic maternal mortality rate lower than that of white women?
The focus on race undermines our ability to find genuine solutions to decreasing maternal mortality.
If not "white supremacy" what is actually causing a high maternal mortality rate among black women? What is causing a lower maternal mortality rate among Hispanic women?
These are important questions that cannot be answered if we insist that white supremacy is to blame for all racial disparities.
And I've learned that being poor has a helluva lot bigger effect on stress and health than being the member of a particular "race".
Still, I did enjoy most of this book, and it validated my own experiences with "Mother Brain" and how it develops over time rather than instantly.
The book clearly had the annoying input of a "sensitivity reader"and I'm grateful it was called "Mother Brain" rather than "Birthing Parent Brain" or "Gestator Brain".
I did enjoy the book, but it is based more on dubious social science than on neuroscience.
Read
January 14, 2024muchhhh too long. still interesting.
April 17, 2023
[Audiobook] 5 stars for the premise behind this book. This area is woefully underresearched and misunderstood, and this book was a monumental effort to compile what research does exist and to move it forward. 5 stars also for effort, as the author cares personally about the subject and has put in the time plus no doubt blood, sweat and tears to bring this to fruition. However, I felt the book lacked in a few areas. First of all, the title is misleading given the main arguments in the book (but to be fair, is probably helpful in getting people to read it). Second, at times it would have benefited from a summary/conclusion at the end of each topic as the research was a bit back-and-forth at times. Third, given the importance of this book, it may have benefited from a partnership with a scientist in this field? I feel like this book might pass unnoticed, which it doesn’t deserve. It is trudging uphill against a paternalistic, misogynistic society and needs all the help it can get.
March 7, 2022
This book was transformational for me. My life was changed when my oldest was born and this book was validating, explanatory, and reassuring. I was drawn in by how well the author related the history and science to the day to day; to her life and experience, the lives of the people she interviewed, and how history and science inform her beliefs. Our lives today, in 2022, are influenced by the work and beliefs of men centuries and decades ago, but I really never understood how much or in what ways. To read it in plain language was eye opening and, at times, infuriating. I feel so empowered by what I have learned through these pages, over and over. The complicated neuroscience was detailed in ways that were accessible and easy to understand, without glossing over the details or simplifying things. Every single chapter felt relatable and I just wanted to keep reading.
March 17, 2022
I loved this book! It felt like a key that unlocked a centuries old patriarchal lock. Motherhood is the most incredibly transformative, life changing, event but, the lived experience of mothers has so often been dismissed with feelings left unexplained and anxiety amplified. The author gave voice to the why through history, research, science, and masterfully woven personal stories. I would offer this as critical reading if you plan to become a mother, are a mother, know a mother, think about mothers, work with mothers, work with babies, or are someone who mothers mamas in a myriad of ways.
February 24, 2023
Tons of great research, but I wish it was better synthesized.
May 15, 2023
If I could give this book 0 stars, I would.
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