Advanced Parenting: Advice for Helping Kids Through Diagnoses, Differences, and Mental Health Challenges

by Kelly Fradin

“An invaluable resource for parents and caregivers,” this important, empathetic guidebook offers practical steps for managing children's health (Emily Oster, PhD,   New York Times bestselling author of Cribsheet and Expecting Better ).

Any parent who has ever walked out of a concerning appointment with their child's doctor or teacher has experienced a heady mix of emotions--fear, love, confusion, concern, sadness, and perhaps even anger. While every parent hopes for a healthy child, the reality is that children face many common challenges, including medical issues like ADHD, asthma, food allergies, feeding issues, learning disabilities, anxiety and depression, and developmental delays, throughout their formative years. As the role of a parent becomes one of a caregiver, it can be overwhelming for parents and children alike, particularly if money, time, access, or any combination of those are in short supply. 

As a balm, Dr. Kelly Fradin offers Advanced Parenting , based on her experience as a complex-care pediatrician. In this crucial guide, parents will find empathy and support as well as evidence-based practical guidance. Of greatest import is the need for tools with which to manage the emotional stress that comes from having a child who deviates from the norm, as well as coping with uncertainty and navigating the business of care. Readers will discover ways to optimize the outcomes for their family and make their day-to-day life easier.

Advanced Parenting will help families from the beginning of their journey, helping parents to decide when a child needs help, accepting the implications of a challenge, obtaining a correct diagnosis, learning about the issue, building a treatment team and coming up with a comprehensive plan. Dr. Fradin explores how a child struggling can affect the entire family dynamic including the parent’s relationships and the siblings overall well-being, and with her experience as a complex care pediatrician, she will help parents avoid common mistakes. Parents will feel seen, supported, and better prepared to be both a parent and a caregiver.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Medicine

336 pages, Hardcover

Published April 11, 2023

Reviews

[Anne Enberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written, helpful book for all parents, whether they have a child with a chronic health challenge or an acute one. My one qualm is so many stories of kiddos are introduced throughout the book but most without a sense of how things resolved for the kids. Otherwise, a great primer on key frameworks and topics parents should be mindful of when navigating health issues for their kids.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Advanced Parenting: Advice for Helping Kids Through Diagnoses, Differences, and Mental Health Challenges is an empathetic and comprehensive new guidebook from Dr. Kelly Fradin. In the book, the author explains how her mother advocated for her when she had childhood cancer and how she, too, has had to trust her parental intuition and advocate for her daughter. She shares tips for dealing with difficult diagnoses, building and leaning on support systems, discussing mental health issues without shame, and knowing where to find factual and trustworthy information. She says parents might not think they have the vocabulary, knowledge base, or skills to do what their child needs, but a critical message from Advanced Parenting is for parents to realize that they are the perfect parent for their child. They can advocate for their child's needs and don't have to do it alone. It doesn't make someone less than to admit they can't do it alone. The author also explains that many parents view mental health as "private." But the unfortunate reality is that accessing the best therapist, psychiatrist, or groups to support a family can be challenging, especially without asking for help. Mental health conditions have touched almost everybody. The more we talk about it, the less isolating it is to be at the end of trying to make a plan.

The book also felt like a love letter to the author's mom for everything she did to help her daughter when she was young and had cancer. Advanced Parenting is unique because it gives parents the tools to help their kids navigate physical and mental health issues.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at: https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been a follower of Dr. Fradin on instagram for a long time, so getting to read her book was an exciting experience for me. I always love the way she blends her real life experience (as both a patient and mother) with her expertise as a pediatrician. She did that in this book, and it really resonated with me. As someone who has experienced medical complications with my own children, something Dr. Fradin wrote in the very beginning of the book really stuck out to me, and that was to always trust my mom gut. It can seem silly sometimes when the medical professionals are telling you it’s okay to wait and see, or not to worry about something, but ultimately the parent knows the child best and I think that lesson is so important. I love Dr. Fradin’s work & words and will continue to follow & read throughout my motherhood journey.

[Ännä · Rating 5 out of 5]

Advanced Parenting was a book that came to me at the right time. I am currently waiting for a diagnosis for my son who is going through a number of challenges. This path has been a difficult one, filled with dead ends, judgement, and miscommunication. In this book pediatrician Kelly Fradin set out to offer guidance and empathy to parents whose children are neurodivergent or otherwise living outside of the "typical" box.

The entirety of the long journey toward healing and wellness is covered here, with information ranging from when to seek help, how to emotionally support and care for yourself as a parent, to building your team. This is valuable information that fills the void on bookshelves full of typical milestones. The gift of feeling seen and understand as a parent with a neurotypical child is invaluable.

Thank you to the author, Netgalley, and Grand Central Publishing for making this book available for my unbiased review.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parenting no matter how many children you have is always surprising you with something new. I like reading parenting books in general to look and see what new things I can learn. this book interested me as I have a child with an ADHD diagnosis, and also another child that has had a speech delay. When a child faces more challenges it does have effects on their mental health, and honestly the issues facing mental health in this country are increasingly worrisome so preparing yourself to be a better advocate for your child can only give them more help that they need. I really liked Part 3 of the book about managing emotions. emotions are exceedingly hard to regulate it seems nowadays with everything being thrown at kids, and I even feel like that as an adult some days. I think Dr. Kelly Fradin really gives some good insight in her book that a lot of parents can benefit from even if they don't have a child that faces other problems on top of the norms that children face through development and growing. I will say I haven't completely read it straight through, when it comes to self-help advice type books whatever the range of the subject I like to jump around and read first what really resonates with me, and also have hard copies to make notes in and highlight to always refer back to so I don't look at it as a just read through and that's it so I am still going through it. Thank you Goodreads Giveaways and the publisher for the copy to read and review with my own thoughts!

[Kara (Books.and.salt) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an extremely informative read and SO important for parents of children with physical and/or mental health challenges. I was a very medically complex child and intimately understand the struggles of growing up ill; now that I am a mother myself it is very important to me that I have the tools to support them through whatever diagnoses come their way. I really appreciated what a wide scope this book covered - from how to identify medical misinformation to understanding and managing complex emotions like medical grief, anxiety, and guilt.

At times I struggled with the writing style as it is long form and slightly dry. I found myself struggling to keep engaged - though that may just be my personal struggles with nonfiction and ADHD lol.

I definitely recommend this one to parents - I am so glad I read this.

[Alisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

So many thoughts about this book. It’s good, but not what I was hoping for. I would have loved more parenting strategies. There are times when I’ve heard parenting advice and thought, “Ok, so how do I use that with my autistic child?” I want to read that book! This definitely was more medically minded than disability minded. Also, this is the book I could have used about 7 years ago. It would have been too much right after my child’s diagnosis, but a few years in this would have been great. At this point, there was a lot of info in this book that I’ve gleaned through the years, other books, conferences, etc. Not a whole ton of new info, but a good review and reminder of things I already know.

[Tricia | ReadingRowans · Rating 4 out of 5]

As parents these days, almost all of us will help our kids navigate a mental health challenge or other health issue. This book helps prepare us for that situation, whether we are currently walking through it or just preparing for the day it happens to our family. A lot of the tips and skills discussed in the book are also helpful just for run of the mill family management and helping children navigate changes. Some chapters were fairly basic but others were very helpful. I could definitely see revisiting the book in the future depending on specific circumstances.

I voluntarily reviewed an early copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

[Kim Murphy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't know if my review is harsh but I've got a really good paediatrician and there was nothing new in here for me. I think stories from the parents from there view with more explanation on how they worked through problems would be better.
When we already ask for help, meditate, have good resources (from UK so some of the medical I skipped). The most enlightening bits were when it talked about her as a kid going through cancer. I would have liked more kids perspective growing up with different things.
If I read this as a new parent it would be good, I guess but still written from a point of view where the parent has a supportive partner or a good support system.

[Betty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently started reading Advanced Parenting and already love it so much. As a mom who has struggled with my son's anaphylaxis to multiple foods, I felt so seen and included from even the introduction, even though our challenges are not as complex as other diagnoses. In other chapters, I can feel the genuine compassion that the author has for caregivers and children. Thank you, Dr. Fradin, for writing this much-needed book for families and healthcare professionals.

[Lisa Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential reading for parents of kids facing health challenges. Advanced Parenting brims with empathetic, warm yet practical advice for parents on how to assess what matters most when making decisions (even when it seems overwhelming), navigate the complexity of the situation, help kids process what they're encountering, and take care of themselves as well.

[Scott County Library System · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book provides tools for dealing with the emotional strain of having a child with health issues. Some diagnoses touched on in the book include ADHD, asthma, food allergies, autism, depression and developmental delays. This is a self-help publication designed to give parents and caregivers coping tools for a better quality of life.

[Renee Rubin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of terrific stories from her practice as a pediatrician. Note that the focus was on support for kids with big challenges such as a chronic or life threatening disease. I thought it would focus more on day to day parenting for (smaller?) issues such as ADHD and mental health. There was some focus on this but a lot on managing those intense challenges.

[Pam Mooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, the author speaks with empathy and there are parents who can use this as much as the advice. The earlier a parent reads this primer the better it will be to impact their journey. A good read.

[KK · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re a parent with a child with a diagnosis (medical or learning) this book is for you. I expected it to be science based and dry, but it is rather practical and very encouraging. Highly recommend.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical advice for parents with extra challenges. Much of it seems obvious, but if you’re in the middle of a crisis, it helps to have a calm voice reminding you of what can be done to make it better.

[Colin Cerniglia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was written for folks who have children with medical challenges but the lessons can be taken into different contexts, too. I thought it was informative, honest, and direct. About what I'd expect out of a reputable medical resource!

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was phenomenal. I felt seen as a parent in so many ways. Trying to figure out how I can help my child at school and how to advocate for him. The author was honest and had great insight and experience. Must read!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I'd had this book when our daughter was born 15 weeks early. It is the perfect companion for parents on or starting a journey to deal with complex medical or mental health issues in their children -- which could be any parent at any time. This just might become my new baby shower gift.

[Kayla Upshaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well written & broadly applicable book. I think every parent goes through at least one period of "advanced parenting," but I'd say this book is for anyone sitting in that period long enough to seek help or self reflection.

[Kristen Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sincere thank you for providing me a copy of “Advanced Parenting” in exchange for an honest review. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to read this story and leave my review voluntarily

[Alexis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing really bad, but also nothing I hadn't learned after 11 years of parenting a child with a disability. I can see it being useful for some people, though.

[N · Rating 5 out of 5]

gotta parent myself 🫡 but fr this was good and understanding advice

[Margaret Heller · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic resource that really made me feel less alone and messy. I inhaled this book like so much oxygen.

[Megan]

Read introduction and chapter 1. Might come back to this at some point, might not.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional, informative, personal! Loved it. I have gone back to this book many times to get through challenges.

[Mark Hanson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Geared for specific parenting challenges. Would be helpful in those situations.

[Madison M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine but I’m not entirely sure I learned much. With a disclaimer that my husband and I are both in health care and have have a neurodivergent child already in treatment