Baby Making for Everybody: Family Building and Fertility for LGBTQ+ and Solo Parents

by Marea Goodman LM CPM, Ray Rachlin LM CPM

This inclusive, straightforward guide to fertility is What to Expect Before You’re Expecting for families outside the heterosexual nuclear family model—perfect for LGBTQ+ and solo parents who want to have kids but don’t know where to start.   
 
In  Baby Making for Everybody,  queer millennial midwives Ray Rachlin and Marea Goodman use their professional expertise to demystify the dizzying process of pursuing parenthood as queer and solo people, offering detailed, gender-affirming, body-positive advice on topics  
The result is a much-needed compassionate step-by-step guide for every aspect of the complicated, messy, and glorious process of building a family. Combining practical information with personal narratives and first-person community wisdom, this book provides prospective parents with the information they need to grow their families.
 

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, Medicine, Transgender

352 pages, Paperback

Published April 25, 2023

Reviews

[Lizzie S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a wonderful resource! Highly recommended for anyone approaching family building without any of the necessary gametes (for whatever reason!) and for anyone who works in the fields of reproductive health and fertility. This was comforting, inclusive, and straightforward. I feel so much more prepared for the process of family building!

[Maggie Dunleavy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow - I really loved this book! I think the authors really did what they set out to do. It was so deeply refreshing and energizing to conceptualize family
building in terms that described me and my close beloveds and queer family. It was thoughtfully put together, SO informative, and honestly inspiring lol. I especially loved the first person accounts that colored each section; it was so special to have those real voices alongside data and concrete info. I can’t wait to have a creatively constructed queer family of my own someday and return to this as a resource when I’m closer to actualizing that dream 🫂🥲

[Emma Stevensby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative, inclusive, empowering, gentle.

[Gabriella Cipriani · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for anyone not in a hetero couple who is looking to learn more about what the fertility and parenthood process looks like for queer and “non-traditional” couples/solo parents.

This book was so inclusive, empowering, and validating. I wanted to read this book to start exploring fertility options and just get a baseline understanding and this did that and so much more. I had questions answered that I didn’t even know I had and feel so seen about my own fears and feelings when it comes to fertility being in a queer couple.

Shout out to the authors, both queer and navigated different paths to parenthood, for seeing the gap in fertility education when they were going through the fertility journey and creating something that they themselves needed. Forever in love with the queer community rising up and creating resources for one another.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, I must admit I assumed this was an informal educational book for children- like a picture book for kids to understand that not all families look one certain way-


so, imagine my shock when I realized that it wouldn’t be my kids reviewing it, but myself. I’m a doula, and I try to continue to educate myself constantly and consciously. I want everyone to feel comfortable in my background and presence as a birthing professional, but I also want to be sure I can guarantee that I know what I’m talking about- and demonstrate it well.

If I could change it up- I’d say more spots to take notes, or have printable/copy ready sheets for maybe professionals? Sort of like Penny simkins birthing books- that’s my fave aspect of hers and wish more authors would include that.

This book helped me within my spectrum of work, and there was a ton of information I could reflect on and grow in
I learned a lot, I grew a bunch.
I think this is great for everyone, and should be considered one of the referred books consistently among the rest!


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me a copy to read in exchange for my own review - all thoughts and opinions are my own!

[Ashley V]

Grateful that such a comprehensive, thoughtful, and inclusive resource exists!

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goodness gracious thank goodness this books exists! I was so deeply comforted by the way these incredible midwives/writers laid out this material. The book was so thoughtfully and clearly written. The authors did a wonderful job also bringing in other experts in areas they personally knew less about.

The book is also full of quotes from people who have personally experienced every topic discussed and it’s beautiful to picture all of the wonderful queer folks and solo parents creating beautiful families out there in the world!

A must read book for all birth workers and medical providers working with queer folks on a parenting journey and a great book to pass around our queer communities to support each other and create circles of care!

[Ashlee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes, I spent the whole day listening to this audiobook, happy Saturday to me. Right off the cuff, the book opens with criticism of the “single mom by choice” language—which I’ve always felt some type of way about—and knew that this book would resonate. And it did! It was so affirming and informative! Listening on audio wasn’t really the vibe though (why was there snapping when they switched perspectives??), so I’m going to have to buy the hardcover version. I did do the worksheets (at least in the beginning when they pertained to me) and found them very insightful (and will be taken to therapy 😅). It also wasn’t the most literary thing ever written but I had a good Saturday overall

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this so much. So practical, empathetic, and clear.

[Teddy Goetz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is phenomenal!! It should become an instant classic.

[Meredith Moga Dooley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugh loved this.

[Frankie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve finished this book! For now....

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

must read for queer trans and solo aspiring parents. helped replace a lot of fear anxiety stigma and heterocentric fertility talk with actually relevant and useful info. do yourself a favor and read this. very clearly laid out and clearly a labor of love for community by the authors.

[3li · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5
This was a great read!! It’s the significantly more inclusive, more intersectional version of Eric Rosswood’s “The Ultimaye Guide for Gay Dad,” a book I didn’t rate/review very positively. This book is much more direct in its acknowledgement of the wide range of forms queer families can take, and as such, the book provides specific applications of the law we have available to us that may actually be useful for these families (my own included). I found Chapter 9 especially useful as a polyamorous individual with a biological child. I also appreciate that the authors link you to specific organizations, law firms, and more who are available to assist in LGBT+ family legal matters and whatnot. This is a valuable resource!

[Natasha Bauer-Maison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did not read cover to cover. Very interesting book! Really great flow charts and inclusive/accessible information for all people hoping to have a family. I really enjoyed this book and learned a lot. However many of the claims were not evidence based and I wonder if they could inadvertently cause harm to hopeful to-be-parents. It was also interesting to learn about the variety of scopes of midwifery in the United States which is not present in Canada.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a queer person, a parent, and a physician, I was amazed by how much I learned from this book. This the expansive and inclusive family-building book that we've been waiting for. I wish so much that it had existed when I was first engaging with a fertility process, and I'm overjoyed for my friends, community, patients, and the world that it exists now.

[Maggie S · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really helpful and valuable book that explores having a baby for all LGBTQ identities. As an informational book, it wasn’t a crazy page-turner, but I’ll definitely be back to refer to it again.

Compared to Queer Conception, this book is easier to digest and less of a deep dive on the science of conception. I would recommend reading this book first!

[bibliophagy · Rating 4 out of 5]

enjoyed this one more than any other conception book ive read. it felt accessible and gentle -- not as overwhelming as some of the others. plus has accessible resources that im still using. grateful for this text.

[CR · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fabulous book for those seeking to have children that are not part of the heterosexual family. This would also be great for those who help these families as well.

[Charlotte Merlock · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such an empowering book. It is incredibly inclusive and informative! Highly recommend if you are beginning the process of starting a family non traditionally.

[Jackie Sparrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really amazing resource for all people that are thinking of having kids, in all forms.

[Jasper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly informative, accessible, and affirming. Honest and helpful. Made me excited for when my parenting journey starts :)

[Sarah van der · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very happy this book exists. It is both practical and a loving hug. A bit too much of repeating though. And i missed a section about intentional co-parenting, but maybe that’s not as big in the US.

[Elizabeth Mades · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent beginning resource for those thinking about starting a family in non-traditional ways

[Xander · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so inclusive to the queer trans community and gives a lot of great info on babymaking and navigating all the various methods and options to go about having a child! I highly recommend this book to any LGBTQIA+/Queer/Trans people who want to have children and are looking for more info on how to go about having them. This book is worth it and a huge thank you to the writers and everyone else involved in making this book possible. There aren't a whole lot of reading options for families who are queer/non-traditional and I am so happy that such an inclusive and informational book like this one exists.

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good mix of joy + the sobering realities of being queer & trying bring a baby into the world.

One of my favorite quotes:
“Your choice of creating family outside the heterosexual nuclear family model is radical and important. We stand on the shoulders of our queer ancestors in paving the way for future generations of cultural visionaries.” 🥹