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Go Back and Get It: A Memoir of Race, Inheritance, and Intergenerational Healing
An unexpected family photograph leads Dionne Ford to uncover the stories of her enslaved female ancestors, reclaim their power, and begin to heal
Countless Black Americans descended from slavery are related to the enslavers who bought and sold their ancestors. Among them is Dionne Ford, whose great grandmother was the last of six children born to a Louisiana cotton broker and the enslaved woman he received as a wedding gift.
What shapes does this kind of intergenerational trauma take? In these pages, which move between her inner life and deep research, Ford tells us. It manifests as alcoholism and post-traumatic stress; it finds echoes in her own experience of sexual abuse at the hands of a relative, and in the ways in which she builds her own interracial family.
To heal, Ford tries a wide range of therapies, lifestyle changes, and recovery meetings. “Anything,” she writes, “to keep from going back there.” But what she learns is that she needs to go back there, to return to her female ancestors, and unearth what she can about them to start to feel whole.
Countless Black Americans descended from slavery are related to the enslavers who bought and sold their ancestors. Among them is Dionne Ford, whose great grandmother was the last of six children born to a Louisiana cotton broker and the enslaved woman he received as a wedding gift.
What shapes does this kind of intergenerational trauma take? In these pages, which move between her inner life and deep research, Ford tells us. It manifests as alcoholism and post-traumatic stress; it finds echoes in her own experience of sexual abuse at the hands of a relative, and in the ways in which she builds her own interracial family.
To heal, Ford tries a wide range of therapies, lifestyle changes, and recovery meetings. “Anything,” she writes, “to keep from going back there.” But what she learns is that she needs to go back there, to return to her female ancestors, and unearth what she can about them to start to feel whole.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published April 4, 2023
28 people are currently reading
3690 people want to read
About the author
Dionne Ford
3 books24 followersDionne Ford is author of the forthcoming memoir Go Back and Get It (Bold Type Books 2023) and co-editor of the anthology Slavery’s Descendants: Shared Legacies of Race and Reconciliation (Rutgers University). Her work has appeared in The New York Times, LitHub, New Jersey Monthly, Rumpus and Ebony among other publications and won awards from the National Association of Black Journalists and the Newswomen’s Club of New York. In 2018, she received a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship in Creative Writing.
She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from New York University and a BA from Fordham University where she is an adjunct professor. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and daughters.
She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from New York University and a BA from Fordham University where she is an adjunct professor. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and daughters.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
February 6, 2023
Thank you to the author for sharing this deeply personal story and bringing to light the topic of intergenerational trauma.
I don’t think this book is one I’d ordinarily read but I’m very thankful to have had the opportunity to do so via Goodreads giveaway.
I don’t think this book is one I’d ordinarily read but I’m very thankful to have had the opportunity to do so via Goodreads giveaway.
January 12, 2024
An act of open-hearted bravery - that is this book.
Using the symbol of Sankofa - to retrieve, seek and take back what is at risk of being left behind - this author shares with readers her quest. It proves to be an uneasy odyssey into what it means to descend from the troubled people and evolving government of the early United States which imposed a rigid dichotomy on the humans in their society: white skin / black skin, free / enslaved.
Woven in the writing was the quest to find her people in the cryptic records of their people who afforded those enslaved with few of the markers we associate with identity - names, family names, efforts to note uniqueness between members. As in many great efforts, when others in the same search join forces more ground is gained, and she found that as time progressed. Complicating her searches and efforts were the traumatic scars of family life that happens, and those who want to talk about it, and those who want to forget and fear the backward consideration as harmful to the group as a whole.
The author leads readers through her many winding paths, sharing family tree charts, photographs of the generations that are currently leaving footprints in the world, and those who've been long gone, and about who we wonder. Was it consensual? Was it a price paid for some favor or kindness? Was there love in the creation of these people upon whose shoulders we stand? and what if there are truly bad actors in the mix . . . how does one reconcile all of that?
A haunting, question-filled work of Sankofa by the author that is worthy of consideration for all of us - any of us who have ancestors who have been long in the land most likely have skin in this game. . .literally and should not turn aside perturbed. We need to be thinking about this and how we are still responding to it. Books, writings, and memoirs such as these keep us working toward change and resolution.
*A sincere thank you to Dionne Ford, PublicAffairs, and NetGalley for an ARC to read and independently review.*
Using the symbol of Sankofa - to retrieve, seek and take back what is at risk of being left behind - this author shares with readers her quest. It proves to be an uneasy odyssey into what it means to descend from the troubled people and evolving government of the early United States which imposed a rigid dichotomy on the humans in their society: white skin / black skin, free / enslaved.
Woven in the writing was the quest to find her people in the cryptic records of their people who afforded those enslaved with few of the markers we associate with identity - names, family names, efforts to note uniqueness between members. As in many great efforts, when others in the same search join forces more ground is gained, and she found that as time progressed. Complicating her searches and efforts were the traumatic scars of family life that happens, and those who want to talk about it, and those who want to forget and fear the backward consideration as harmful to the group as a whole.
The author leads readers through her many winding paths, sharing family tree charts, photographs of the generations that are currently leaving footprints in the world, and those who've been long gone, and about who we wonder. Was it consensual? Was it a price paid for some favor or kindness? Was there love in the creation of these people upon whose shoulders we stand? and what if there are truly bad actors in the mix . . . how does one reconcile all of that?
A haunting, question-filled work of Sankofa by the author that is worthy of consideration for all of us - any of us who have ancestors who have been long in the land most likely have skin in this game. . .literally and should not turn aside perturbed. We need to be thinking about this and how we are still responding to it. Books, writings, and memoirs such as these keep us working toward change and resolution.
*A sincere thank you to Dionne Ford, PublicAffairs, and NetGalley for an ARC to read and independently review.*
April 10, 2023
In Go Back and Get It (Bold Type Books, 2023), Dionne L. Ford’s discovery of her ancestors’ photo online serves as the catalyst for her journey to discover their stories and new insights into her own. This memoir, written in clear and beautiful prose, explores both the personal and the societal impacts of race and trauma. The author blends solid research with poignantly personal memories and experiences to tell the stories of bother her family and her society. A powerful must-read.
February 29, 2024
Beautiful and heartbreaking. It can be a hard task to tell about ancestral research in a comprehensive and compelling way. This story is very personal but also universal. The author is tracing the lives of her enslaved and enslaver ancestry, but she’s also grappling with her own childhood trauma, addiction, and role as a parent to young girls. She weaves literary and historical references through the book that I recognized and ones that I am just now discovering.
I recommend this book as essential reading for Americans. For humans. Complexity. Loss. We can all relate. And what we fear relating to—the enslavement that was perpetuated in the US—is a true horror story that we bear witness to in order to honor the real people who experienced it. And we honor them by listening to voices like Dionne Ford’s. I look forward to reading more of her reflections in the future.
I recommend this book as essential reading for Americans. For humans. Complexity. Loss. We can all relate. And what we fear relating to—the enslavement that was perpetuated in the US—is a true horror story that we bear witness to in order to honor the real people who experienced it. And we honor them by listening to voices like Dionne Ford’s. I look forward to reading more of her reflections in the future.
May 13, 2023
“If you are going to look for your enslaved ancestors,” writes Dionne Ford, “you will have to look for the people who enslaved them. In a third of all cases, the enslavers will also be your relatives….You will meet them on beaches, in dusty archives and in rustic farmhouses, scratching at the past like it is a lotto game and you are strokes away from a million more reasons to believe.”
In a multi-layered and compelling memoir, Ford traces her family history, an important American story. It's not easy to read--tragically, there is a lynching in Ford's family history, and sexual assault in both Ford's and her daughter's lives--but she writes with clear-eyed strength and optimism about the future.
She writes, "Some people say, "forgive and forget." I say, "Remember and recover." Re-member. Put yourself back together again and again." Amen.
In a multi-layered and compelling memoir, Ford traces her family history, an important American story. It's not easy to read--tragically, there is a lynching in Ford's family history, and sexual assault in both Ford's and her daughter's lives--but she writes with clear-eyed strength and optimism about the future.
She writes, "Some people say, "forgive and forget." I say, "Remember and recover." Re-member. Put yourself back together again and again." Amen.
March 19, 2024
*listened to this on audiobook
this book was hard to get through for various reasons, first being that I didn’t totally relate to it. which is good!!!! I want to read books that I don’t relate to in order to grow in knowledge and empathy - which this book definitely did in me on the topic of slavery. it was also just sad and honed in on harder topics to swallow. there were topics that made no sense and were difficult to follow, like a spanish dance/fighting activity??? not sure, but she was passionate about it and that’s cool!
I think it would be an interesting and enlightening read for anyone! Dionne Ford writes beautifully and poignantly!
this book was hard to get through for various reasons, first being that I didn’t totally relate to it. which is good!!!! I want to read books that I don’t relate to in order to grow in knowledge and empathy - which this book definitely did in me on the topic of slavery. it was also just sad and honed in on harder topics to swallow. there were topics that made no sense and were difficult to follow, like a spanish dance/fighting activity??? not sure, but she was passionate about it and that’s cool!
I think it would be an interesting and enlightening read for anyone! Dionne Ford writes beautifully and poignantly!
April 28, 2023
I have deep admiration for this book. Dionne Ford has woven an amazing tapestry from many strands of historical narrative--personal, familial, national, and international. She takes the themes of racism and enslavement on the one hand and sexual abuse on the other and delineates their interrelationship while also keeping them distinct. This memoir is both rational and deeply emotional, making a familiar arc of American history new and sometimes shocking through intimate and familial revelations. The research is great and the storytelling top-notch, both in its continuities and discontinuities. Awe-inspiring and just plain inspiring!
May 13, 2023
I’ve never read an account like this before, a mix of a deeply personal and poignant memoir interwoven with the brutal facts of racism, violence, and trauma that is the foundation of the USA.
While I’m not certain I found hope in this memoir that the institutional racism and misogyny that defines America can ever be eradicated or that reparations will be made, I did weep as Dionne closed the distance between herself and her trauma. Not to forgive and forget , but to “Remember and recover. Re-member. Put yourself back together again and again.”
While I’m not certain I found hope in this memoir that the institutional racism and misogyny that defines America can ever be eradicated or that reparations will be made, I did weep as Dionne closed the distance between herself and her trauma. Not to forgive and forget , but to “Remember and recover. Re-member. Put yourself back together again and again.”
May 5, 2023
I'm struggling with how I feel about this. Parts of it I loved, they were so beautifully written and I learned so much (I found myself googling many things as I read and I've highlighted other books to read that were mentioned here). Other parts were very meandering or jumped from one topic to the next without warning and I had a hard time keeping myself focused. Overall not mad I read it.
August 16, 2023
I found this memoir underwhelming. While it covered a lot of concepts including addiction, racism, and class - it didn't dive as deep into any as I had expected. That being said, I'd love to read more from Ford.
April 25, 2024
Maybe I would’ve liked this more if I had read it and not listened but it felt kind of all over the place.
November 23, 2022
***Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review***
I was fascinated by the premise of this memoir and its promise of a story of healing through the uncovering of the author's ancestry. While the content kept its promise, I found the flow of it to be disorganized and hard to follow, and this detracted from my overall experience of reading it. I wonder if this was supposed to mimic the author's own journey, which wasn't an easy, linear one either. The most amazing part of this book was the sheer amount that the author was able to recover about her own family history, and how at so many turns, it was just a bit of luck (or whatever you want to call it) that led to a discovery. This book sheds light on the complicated generational narratives that can exist for Black folks for whom enslavement plays a role in their families' stories. I appreciate the author's willingness to share that with us readers and for the opportunity to once again take a close look into this nation's history vis-a-vis a personal story of one family line.
I was fascinated by the premise of this memoir and its promise of a story of healing through the uncovering of the author's ancestry. While the content kept its promise, I found the flow of it to be disorganized and hard to follow, and this detracted from my overall experience of reading it. I wonder if this was supposed to mimic the author's own journey, which wasn't an easy, linear one either. The most amazing part of this book was the sheer amount that the author was able to recover about her own family history, and how at so many turns, it was just a bit of luck (or whatever you want to call it) that led to a discovery. This book sheds light on the complicated generational narratives that can exist for Black folks for whom enslavement plays a role in their families' stories. I appreciate the author's willingness to share that with us readers and for the opportunity to once again take a close look into this nation's history vis-a-vis a personal story of one family line.
October 29, 2024
I picked this book up because of my interest in genealogy. Although there were a lot of tough subjects in this book, it was a really honest look at the author's journey into finding and reckoning with her ancestors.
I thought this was well-written - although at times there were narrative choices that were a little hard to follow, it made sense because a genealogy journey can't always be explained linearly without "spoiling" the outcome. I thought this author did a good job at weaving her personal life and story with the pieces of research she was doing along the way.
I definitely recommend this book to people who enjoy stories of African American descendants of enslaved people, people who like genealogy, and people who connect with reading memoirs about people who deal with childhood trauma. That being said, be aware that that is a major theme of the book, although not described in detail, it is discussed pretty frequently as it's a really important part of her journey.
I thought this was well-written - although at times there were narrative choices that were a little hard to follow, it made sense because a genealogy journey can't always be explained linearly without "spoiling" the outcome. I thought this author did a good job at weaving her personal life and story with the pieces of research she was doing along the way.
I definitely recommend this book to people who enjoy stories of African American descendants of enslaved people, people who like genealogy, and people who connect with reading memoirs about people who deal with childhood trauma. That being said, be aware that that is a major theme of the book, although not described in detail, it is discussed pretty frequently as it's a really important part of her journey.
April 3, 2024
This memoir wasn’t originally on my radar, but it was my book club’s pick this month. I’m glad of that because I thought this was such an interesting memoir about the author’s experience of researching her family history as a Black woman in America descended from enslaved people.
She writes about identity, history, and intergenerational trauma. She describes how trauma lives in the body and how it affects the brain. I thought the way she wove in her own experiences with the history she discovered about her family was well done. You can see how the legacy of slavery impacts her and her family throughout the years and in the present day. And in doing this research, she has to reckon with discovering descendants of her white ancestors, who were her family as well, but also enslaved her Black family members.
Woooo, it’s a lot. But I thought it was well done and a memoir worth reading.
She writes about identity, history, and intergenerational trauma. She describes how trauma lives in the body and how it affects the brain. I thought the way she wove in her own experiences with the history she discovered about her family was well done. You can see how the legacy of slavery impacts her and her family throughout the years and in the present day. And in doing this research, she has to reckon with discovering descendants of her white ancestors, who were her family as well, but also enslaved her Black family members.
Woooo, it’s a lot. But I thought it was well done and a memoir worth reading.
April 19, 2023
Dionne Ford did a very powerful thing with her memoir GO BACK AND GET IT. I see America differently, the backbone of the country's prosperity built upon from the raping of black women. Wow. And yes.
This book move's between Dionne's quest to the learn the history of her family, owner and slave. To understand why her ancestors stayed after receiving her freedom. It is one thing to learn about slavery in school. It is another to feel it in your bones. The past is personal. The author is shaken by history. As her reader, I was shaken by her discoveries. This book is able to connect the violence perpetrated on women then to the violence now. To the author's complicated present - and healing.
Powerful and moving.
This book move's between Dionne's quest to the learn the history of her family, owner and slave. To understand why her ancestors stayed after receiving her freedom. It is one thing to learn about slavery in school. It is another to feel it in your bones. The past is personal. The author is shaken by history. As her reader, I was shaken by her discoveries. This book is able to connect the violence perpetrated on women then to the violence now. To the author's complicated present - and healing.
Powerful and moving.
August 5, 2024
I’m glad I had the written version of this book because it was really kind of all over the place & I don’t think I could’ve followed it very well on audiobook. The research & the author’s story of her genealogical journey are incredible, however, so I continued on, even as I often had to flip back a few pages to reference someone or something (I was grateful for the family tree in the first pages especially because the author skipped quickly sometimes talking about her mom’s side, to her dad’s side). The photo that started it all for the author is also included & I could stare at those faces for hours, wishing the people could speak & tell their own stories. I can absolutely see how Ms. Ford got so deeply emotionally invested in finding out all she could about them.
Also, I read this book concurrently with Ours by Phillip B. Williams, which IMO added to the experience of both.
Also, I read this book concurrently with Ours by Phillip B. Williams, which IMO added to the experience of both.
June 13, 2023
I read this book shortly after it came out in April, and I loved it! Beautifully written and suspenseful even, as Dionne seeks to learn more about her ancestors from an old photo. The author has done a tremendous amount of research--I was impressed!--and she always manages to present it in an informative and interesting way. I walked away with was a greatly increased understanding of what it really FEELS like to be descended from an enslaved woman and her white "master," and how those feelings impact daily life. I also saw parallels between Dionne's experience and the stigma and prohibitions faced by people with #hearingloss and #deafness in particular and #disability in general.
March 24, 2023
First of all, know while that my words won’t do Justice to how beautiful and heartbreaking and brave this book is: a woman traces back her family heritage after seeing a photograph of her enslaved great-great grandmother and her enslavers, one of whom was her great great f grandfather. The author described her research and personal mission to learn about her ancestors and to heal from generational trauma. It’s raw and honest. I learned a lot and am so grateful to learn this family’s story. Thanks to Bold Type Books for the advanced copy. Go read this one.
March 24, 2024
Very enjoyable memoir. She’s an involving writer and I loved the historical context she provided about things she could have glossed over, like the history of the AME church. It’s not a satisfying detective story in that so much about Ford’s family history is impossible to uncover, and she made me as a reader wanting resolution have to live with the lack of it, just as she does in her own life. I admire her courage in tackling some difficult subjects (sexual abuse, alcoholism) without exploiting them or resolving them.
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January 30, 2024February's Literary League pick!
There's an inherent vulnerability and sacrifice that goes into writing a memoir that talks about your and your family's trauma and generational trauma. It adds an additional layer when that is that trauma is due to racism and slavery. Beautifully written and utterly heartbreaking.
There's an inherent vulnerability and sacrifice that goes into writing a memoir that talks about your and your family's trauma and generational trauma. It adds an additional layer when that is that trauma is due to racism and slavery. Beautifully written and utterly heartbreaking.
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March 1, 2024Listened on audio, and enjoyed hearing the author narrate. The sorry was interesting, being able to hear about the authors family history, and all she was able to find out about them (and others) after finding a picture.
This is one I probably would not have picked up if not for my bookclub selecting it for February.
This is one I probably would not have picked up if not for my bookclub selecting it for February.
July 10, 2025
I loved that the author shared her family story and her quest to get to know her family. It was hard for me to follow at times because it would jump from one topic to another and not go too deep into many of them. I am so happy she found healing through this process and I am glad I read the book. It makes me want to delve deeper into my ancestry.
July 31, 2025
Outstanding. An unusual and powerful memoir, we-moir (h/t Kirin Narayan). Rare personal and political history tied together with real vulnerability. Plus recovery - from sexual abuse and alcoholism!
It also needed some further editing, as Ford flows between past and present at times in ways that are unnecessarily unclear (especially in the beginning and end).
It also needed some further editing, as Ford flows between past and present at times in ways that are unnecessarily unclear (especially in the beginning and end).
April 21, 2023
So powerful
Thank you Dionne for sharing this honest, painful and uplifting story. You amazing and beautiful writing will stay with me as I do this same work from across the racial divide.
Thank you Dionne for sharing this honest, painful and uplifting story. You amazing and beautiful writing will stay with me as I do this same work from across the racial divide.
April 29, 2023
This was such a unique memoir. I wasn’t bothered by the way this book was written, it wasn’t as lyrical as some memoirs I’ve read BUT the amount of information (familial & otherwise) is insane. It’s honestly like nonfiction and a memoir written in one book. I loved it.
February 25, 2024
Interesting, heartbreaking, powerful, tragic, reflective, informative… all the things. Beautifully written. I could hear the author’s struggles and pain through her words but I often found myself lost within all of the names and jumping between quotations and her life/research.
April 20, 2024
I love family history memoirs and this one was excellent, a beautiful mix of historical research and personal insight. The book asks probing questions on the intergenerational trauma from the legacy of slavery, and the toll on Black women's bodies in particular. It is a masterpiece in memoir.
May 12, 2024
This book offered a perspective on the brutal history of slavery that I hadn’t read or thought about previously. We are all genetically and spiritually connected - enslaved and enslavers, black and white.
May 20, 2024
An incredible memoir that uses personal history and genealogy as a lens for American history. Dionne Ford tells her story and the story of her family with courage and honesty. This is a powerful and important book—I underlined so many passages!
May 7, 2023
A beautifully written and compelling book about ancestral trauma that trickles down through generations and the courageous journey of the author to find a path to healing.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews