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Attraction Isn't A Choice - How To Use "Secret" Communication And Sexual Body Language To Attract Women
A book that would go into detail and explain how and why women think, feel, and behave the way they do. Some of the topics you will find inside
- What players know about success with women that average guys don't
- The unconscious system women use to instantly classify men
- How to make sure you are always the best-dressed guy around without spending the big bucks
- The secret thought all women have about men that they pray you will never discover
- Why carrying around limiting beliefs can prevent you from ever having the success with women you want, and the 12 most dangerous beliefs most men have
- The 3 pre-programmed mental faults that all men are born with
- The 2 things you must do to keep a woman from cheating on you
- A simple, step-by-step plan to developing powerful body language skills
- The best way to flirt with a woman
- What to say when a woman asks about your past relationships
- What players know about success with women that average guys don't
- The unconscious system women use to instantly classify men
- How to make sure you are always the best-dressed guy around without spending the big bucks
- The secret thought all women have about men that they pray you will never discover
- Why carrying around limiting beliefs can prevent you from ever having the success with women you want, and the 12 most dangerous beliefs most men have
- The 3 pre-programmed mental faults that all men are born with
- The 2 things you must do to keep a woman from cheating on you
- A simple, step-by-step plan to developing powerful body language skills
- The best way to flirt with a woman
- What to say when a woman asks about your past relationships
159 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 30, 2011
15 people want to read
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December 9, 2023
2023 reads, #100. I'm getting geared up to finally write out the post-apocalyptic Proud Boys BDSM "dubious consent" erotic romance novel I've had outlined for the last six months (the project being an attempt to advertise my skills as a freelance romance editor); and to get myself more into the mindset of the alt-right guys who run the "New Sparta" post-apocalyptic settlement where my story takes place, I've started tearing through a bunch of books I once found grouped together on the Pirate Bay under the title "The Red Pill Collection." This particular title is one of those incel "how to trick women into sleeping with you" books; there are a lot of these kinds of books in this Red Pill Collection, over a dozen altogether, and the more of them I read, the more I'm realizing that all of them are based fundamentally around a handful of very general wrong assumptions about the world, which then makes all the advice worthless since it's all based on assumptions that were wrong in the first place.
To begin with, although many of these incel books use the same language about romance that general society does, stating that the goal is to be in a "relationship" where you are "dating" and promising that this book will teach you how to do that, the books never define these terms in the way the rest of society does; for while most of us would think of elements like emotional intimacy or the ability to show vulnerability as some of the hallmark traits that come with dating, these books invariably define a "relationship" as "the moment you can finally convince her to let you put your penis in and rub it around until you have an orgasm," at which point your "relationship" is technically over and it's perfectly fine to go find another "relationship" if you want, or maybe try again for another "relationship" with this particular one. That then leads incel writers to encourage their readers to think of the entire female gender as basically interchangeable vaginas with legs, to be purchased, used and discarded like any other consumer item freshly shipped from a Chinese factory, instead of being treated as the unique, interesting individual each one is (and that incels can manage to understand about fellow men, making it even more maddening that they can't seem to be able to imagine women in the same way).
And then they also get something right about the human condition -- we humans really do prefer to spend time with other humans who are confident, courageous, have specific opinions and sometimes feel passionate about them, while we tend to dislike wishy-washy, timid, cowardly pushovers -- but instead of acknowledging that as a universal about the human condition that both men and women feel at all times about all other men and women they spend time with, the incels state that this is proof that all women wish to be dominated, manhandled and have all their obligations to make decisions taken away from them, never seeming to understand that there are like twenty steps in behavior between "doormat" and "bullying asshole," that you don't have to automatically swing wildly from one extreme to the other.
With these kinds of basics about the "rules" and "tricks" to dating and successful relationships being so wrong from the start, that makes all the conclusions later made about these basics wrong as well, and the advice given just sometimes ludicrous stuff that would sound like a biting parody of the alt-right if it wasn't in fact true. In fact the simple solution to all of this is just to treat women like the individual humans they are, just like these incels are seemingly able to do for all the men around them in their life. Young men's brains get scrambled sometimes by all that testosterone coursing through their blood, obsessively compelling them to copulate and breed as often and as with as many partners as possible; this causes them sometimes to look at women as some sort of inscrutable race of space aliens, and a lot of these incel books take that assumption as their beginning, this idea that women will never be able to be understood by men, so here instead are just some easy tricks you can perform that will somehow magically produce the results you want (i.e. penis in vagina), however those tricks might mysteriously work, who knows how. The real key to "successful relationships," or at least as it's being defined here as "lots of highly satisfying sex that might or might not lead to long-term monogamy," is actually the opposite, and to understand that women are simply men but instead filled with estrogen instead of testosterone, which changes a little bit about them but otherwise are creatures who think, behave, act, and prioritize the same exact things as you and me. Treat a smart, attractive woman like the complex, unique human being she is, and you're setting yourself up for having her be attracted to you right back (that is, like DeMarco rightly points out, if you randomly happen to pass a few genetic tests with that particular person over the stuff their lizard brain reacts to, which must be passed before that person can be legitimately sexually attracted to you).
Granted, I'm in my "post-male-menopause" years (or whatever you want to call it) of my mid-fifties, and I have something like half the testosterone in my bloodstream now as I did as a young man; in fact, it's only been in middle-age as my testosterone level has slowly gone down that I've begun to be able to see women in this more clarifying light in the first place, so maybe there's something inherently about the effects on the brain testosterone and estrogen have that's always going to make this subject tough for young men and young women for the entire rest of time. Whatever the case, I can definitively state now after a full adult lifetime of sexual activity that following the advice in these kinds of books may occasionally (or even regularly) result in the kind of mediocre, often substance-fueled, halfway-satisfying blurry sex in the middle of the night that you only kind of remember the next day and you instantly regret, but that to have the true intimacy (and truly mindblowing sex) of a legitimate romantic relationship, you need to do the opposite of what these books say and actually learn how to treat the women in your life as fully complex, sometimes maddeningly individualistic human beings, with all their individual assets and faults, and who fundamentally want the same exact things out of both life and a sexual partner as you do. (It's not hard to find young women who are horny and just want to fuck all day long, because like the men, every single one of them are and do; the challenge is in convincing them to trust you enough to reveal that information.) Take the advice in these kinds of books with that long-term view in mind.
To begin with, although many of these incel books use the same language about romance that general society does, stating that the goal is to be in a "relationship" where you are "dating" and promising that this book will teach you how to do that, the books never define these terms in the way the rest of society does; for while most of us would think of elements like emotional intimacy or the ability to show vulnerability as some of the hallmark traits that come with dating, these books invariably define a "relationship" as "the moment you can finally convince her to let you put your penis in and rub it around until you have an orgasm," at which point your "relationship" is technically over and it's perfectly fine to go find another "relationship" if you want, or maybe try again for another "relationship" with this particular one. That then leads incel writers to encourage their readers to think of the entire female gender as basically interchangeable vaginas with legs, to be purchased, used and discarded like any other consumer item freshly shipped from a Chinese factory, instead of being treated as the unique, interesting individual each one is (and that incels can manage to understand about fellow men, making it even more maddening that they can't seem to be able to imagine women in the same way).
And then they also get something right about the human condition -- we humans really do prefer to spend time with other humans who are confident, courageous, have specific opinions and sometimes feel passionate about them, while we tend to dislike wishy-washy, timid, cowardly pushovers -- but instead of acknowledging that as a universal about the human condition that both men and women feel at all times about all other men and women they spend time with, the incels state that this is proof that all women wish to be dominated, manhandled and have all their obligations to make decisions taken away from them, never seeming to understand that there are like twenty steps in behavior between "doormat" and "bullying asshole," that you don't have to automatically swing wildly from one extreme to the other.
With these kinds of basics about the "rules" and "tricks" to dating and successful relationships being so wrong from the start, that makes all the conclusions later made about these basics wrong as well, and the advice given just sometimes ludicrous stuff that would sound like a biting parody of the alt-right if it wasn't in fact true. In fact the simple solution to all of this is just to treat women like the individual humans they are, just like these incels are seemingly able to do for all the men around them in their life. Young men's brains get scrambled sometimes by all that testosterone coursing through their blood, obsessively compelling them to copulate and breed as often and as with as many partners as possible; this causes them sometimes to look at women as some sort of inscrutable race of space aliens, and a lot of these incel books take that assumption as their beginning, this idea that women will never be able to be understood by men, so here instead are just some easy tricks you can perform that will somehow magically produce the results you want (i.e. penis in vagina), however those tricks might mysteriously work, who knows how. The real key to "successful relationships," or at least as it's being defined here as "lots of highly satisfying sex that might or might not lead to long-term monogamy," is actually the opposite, and to understand that women are simply men but instead filled with estrogen instead of testosterone, which changes a little bit about them but otherwise are creatures who think, behave, act, and prioritize the same exact things as you and me. Treat a smart, attractive woman like the complex, unique human being she is, and you're setting yourself up for having her be attracted to you right back (that is, like DeMarco rightly points out, if you randomly happen to pass a few genetic tests with that particular person over the stuff their lizard brain reacts to, which must be passed before that person can be legitimately sexually attracted to you).
Granted, I'm in my "post-male-menopause" years (or whatever you want to call it) of my mid-fifties, and I have something like half the testosterone in my bloodstream now as I did as a young man; in fact, it's only been in middle-age as my testosterone level has slowly gone down that I've begun to be able to see women in this more clarifying light in the first place, so maybe there's something inherently about the effects on the brain testosterone and estrogen have that's always going to make this subject tough for young men and young women for the entire rest of time. Whatever the case, I can definitively state now after a full adult lifetime of sexual activity that following the advice in these kinds of books may occasionally (or even regularly) result in the kind of mediocre, often substance-fueled, halfway-satisfying blurry sex in the middle of the night that you only kind of remember the next day and you instantly regret, but that to have the true intimacy (and truly mindblowing sex) of a legitimate romantic relationship, you need to do the opposite of what these books say and actually learn how to treat the women in your life as fully complex, sometimes maddeningly individualistic human beings, with all their individual assets and faults, and who fundamentally want the same exact things out of both life and a sexual partner as you do. (It's not hard to find young women who are horny and just want to fuck all day long, because like the men, every single one of them are and do; the challenge is in convincing them to trust you enough to reveal that information.) Take the advice in these kinds of books with that long-term view in mind.
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