On the surface, this sounds like the kind of book I would love. Outlawed magic, corrupt rulers, kid characters learning skills with the help of wise teachers. Unfortunately, I struggled to get through it.
Unfortunately, this book could be a masterclass in why you should use "show, don't tell." The first several chapters in particular felt like an information dump rather than having the information about the world and characters integrated nicely, but it doesn't get much better as the book goes on. There were often so many paragraphs of backstory or worldbuilding that I would forget what was supposed to be happening, even when the scene was supposed to be more of an action scene. The point of view would often shift from character to character, but in a way that felt accidental instead of an omniscient narrator. The writing reminded me of a lot of fanfiction I've read. Not horrible, but definitely in need of more development and some great editing.
Part of the reason for the endless telling instead of showing is that in the first part of the book, the main character is often by himself with his only his thoughts. For example, when he goes on a journey, he spends some time thinking about a place and all the grief associated with it, he decides a rock is a companion, he wants to get to the desert, he'll be able to pass miles of land through one option, the land was dry and only hardy plants survived, he ate and it was like he hadn't eaten in a year, the landscape changes to shale, he knows it's dangerous, there's yet another valley, he reaches the second ridge, he decides to spend the night in a cave, he explores a valley the next morning, he passes stone mountains, he wonders why anyone would live in a desert where he knows rain hasn't fallen in years, he wonders if his mind is playing tricks on him, he promises himself he'll stop once he gets to a certain point, he wonders if it will be barren all the way to the sea... and I was left wondering if the book would be barren that far too. Nothing happens for a long time. He wanders through all of these areas and thinks about things the reader should know about the world--for multiple pages.
As an example of the writing found in the whole book:
"Kai walked, skipped, and ran towards the Ancient Kingdom. It looked beautiful. It wasn't a ruin like the Blue Cliff Basin. It was preserved. His fear now was that it was completely empty. But there was only one way to find out.
"The castle here loomed large. He walked up the wide stone staircase and crossed the stone bridge, looking down at the crystal-clear river below. Whatever magic had created this place was powerful and he could feel it in his bones. The bridge was in perfect shape, no signs of wear like the Blue Cliff Basin. He bowed as he walked down the stairs to the large entryway and the double doors. He decided he'd request asylum. He assumed magic as strong as he felt here could welcome or repel people as it saw fit. And he didn't want to end up in a dungeon for being thought of as an intruder."
Unfortunately, it's just boring and it becomes difficult to figure out what is actually going on when there are paragraphs and paragraphs like the ones above in front of nearly every action. The dialogue, too, has so much over-explained detail. The characters don't have individual voices and just match that same wandering description as the narration. For example, this unnatural description:
"What does he look like? Tell me about him."
"He is about six feet tall and has straight black hair and emerald eyes. His skin is a shade darker than your own because he lives in the desert. He runs the Academy of Moon Magic. There are other teachers also and a few wizards come to assist from time to time, but Manni is connected to everyone. His martial arts skills are exemplary. He's quite well rounded [sic] in his magical abilities. You wouldn't guess that from his soft demeanor. Best of all, he runs the first-year program. You will find him easily. I have no doubt."
And then the character goes on. People just don't talk like this in real life, Much of the dialogue is like this, with paragraphs describing things or explaining background information. And while the world has a lot of detail, it never feels immersive, and the characters don't feel like much more than information robots to spit out anything the reader might need to know. I hate to say that I don't think I can even sum up the plot because it was buried somewhere in those endless paragraphs.
Overall, this book reads like an amateur first draft. It could have used a few more drafts and a lot more editing.
I think this book will have an audience. Young readers who enjoy magical worlds and magic training may still find that they enjoy it. The world certainly has many interesting elements to it. Unfortunately, the writing style was a dealbreaker for me.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy to review.