I absolutely loved this. It had possessiveness, scorching sex, murder (pretty gruesome at that), stalking but make it hot, stalking but make it creepy as hell, multiple bad guys, vigilante justice, and most would say toxic relationships but whatever they love each other! This was the goriest book I have read so far this month. There were definitely a few kills I read with a grimace on my face.
I loved all of these MCs so much, all for different reasons. Lennon was a sweetheart, Kit was hilarious and possessive, Marley was shy and hurting. I think my heart went out to Marley the most. His pain really resonated with me. I loved the dynamic of these three together but I really loved that Lennon had a completely different relationship with each twin. He got what he needed between the two of them. This was my first time reading about twins sharing the same man (no twincest) and I was very into it. There were a few writing issues but I didn't care because this story had me hooked from start to finish. A perfect read for this season.
As I sat there picturing all the dirty things I wanted to do to my blackbird, I stroked myself harder, faster. I hated that he made me feel this way, so out of control and needy for his attention. I hated that he consumed my thoughts and was the only thing I’d found that made my days tolerable. I hated that he was related to the man who’d destroyed my life, and that even then, I still desired him.
I hated that I didn’t hate him.
If a doctor had been taking an EKG, they would have seen my heart stop. Because Lennon’s smile was so full of warmth and happiness that I couldn’t help but feel blinded by it.
Did he know what he did to me when he smiled? He had to.
He felt so good, and I knew right then that I didn’t care if I had to share him with Marley. I desired Lennon with a need so deep and intense it was carved into my bones. I wasn’t just whipped for him. I was excoriated, skinned, and flayed open for the world to see.
This night could go wrong in so many ways, and already my anxiety was skyrocketing.
Even as I stood there, though, I couldn’t help the little burst of excitement that shot through me. Yes, Kit and I were playing with fire. Things with Lennon could only end one way: up in flames.
But I had a feeling I might just like getting burned.
Marley’s hand now applied more pressure, kneading the skin above my knee in firm caresses which had me biting back a moan of delight. How had I gone from a touch celibate to a touch whore?
He was just so perfect for us. Both here and outside the bedroom. He calmed the noise in Marley’s head, grounded him, and soothed his tattered soul. And me, well, I was pretty sure he was the only one willing to deal with my level of insanity. But beyond that, he had a way of taming the endless fury residing within me. Whenever I felt that burning hate start to boil over, all I had to do was find Lennon, watch him dancing around to pop music in his bakery kitchen, see his face light up as bright as the colored shirts he always chose to wear, and my anger would dissipate. It was still there, lurking and biding its time, but with Lennon around, I found anger wasn’t the dominant emotion. No, it was almost impossible to feel anything but joy in Lennon’s presence.
“Don’t you see, baby?” I whispered against his parted lips. “No one else will ever make you feel like this. Like those damn butterflies in your belly are fighting for survival and your heart is going to leap out of your chest. Like you can’t get enough. Not enough touch or kisses or time.” My hands clenched into fists against the brick. “Like you might kill anyone else who dares to touch what’s yours.”
“That’s…” He swallowed, those pretty blues of his wide and bright. “That’s really toxic.”
“It is,” I agreed, licking into his mouth and swallowing his moan. With a nip to his plump, bottom lip, I pulled back just enough to add, “Me, Kit… We’re destructive, dangerous. The right thing would be to let you go before we poison the good in you. But I’m not going to lie to you, Lennon. I don’t think I’d let you leave even if you tried.”
“Call me crazy, but…” He shuddered, pulling back to lean his head against the wall and stare at me. “I think I’m addicted to your poison.”
A message arrived a minute later, only, it was a picture instead. Kit lay shirtless in a bed of pale red flowers I didn’t recognize.
Kit: Are you sure you aren’t at least a little tempted? ;)
I bit my lip as I responded. I’m always tempted. Just give me time, okay?
His reply was instant. There’s something else I’d rather give you ;) ;)
I rolled my eyes. That was so cringe.
He sent another image of him in the flowerbed, though this time, his jeans were undone, and the outline of his erection showed clearly through his boxers.
Me: What flowers are those?
Kit: Carnations.
Me: What do they symbolize?
Kit: Missing someone.
“No,” I said, ripping my face free from his grasp, “you can’t. You don’t make me laugh like we’re best friends or know just what to say when I’m having a bad day. You don’t give me butterflies with a simple look or make me feel like I’m burning up with your touch. You don’t make me feel wanted and safe and cared for.”
I laughed, the sound a wet thing. Because it was sad after everything I’d found out about them, about the lies, the threats, the murders, that I still felt that way. Maybe I needed to see a therapist. Because they were ruthless killers, and I couldn’t let my guard down around them.
I didn’t truly believe that though. There were too many moments where we’d been stripped bare with all our wounds on display, vulnerable and aching. Even the best liar couldn’t be that convincing. So maybe it made me a fool, but even now, after everything they’d done, a part of me still believed they cared for me. That they lost themselves in this game of revenge, and they couldn’t slow down, and I wasn’t just a pawn, another casualty.
“Yes,” he said darkly, “Apparently, he’s been stalking us this whole time. But don’t worry, Blackbird. I’m going to get us out of this. There’s only room for one stalker in your life, and the spot’s taken.”
Did he think that sounded romantic or something? No, like, seriously. Did he?
“I love you, Blackbird,” I said, and my heart sprouted wings and threatened to take off at my confession. “I think I loved you the moment I walked into your bakery and saw you dancing around your kitchen singing to some godawful pop song. But it doesn’t matter when it happened. All I know is that I can’t picture a future without you in it, and I hope you can forgive me for everything I’ve done and we can start again.”
Lennon dusted feather-light kisses along our knuckles. “Sometimes you have to play the part of the villain in order to be the hero. Eventually, though, you need to stop or else there won’t be a possibility of redemption. And then you’ll always remain a villain.”
I swallowed hard and moved to stand behind him. “I’m not perfect, Lennon,” I admitted. “I’ve done a lot of bad things. Things I truly should go to jail for. But you give me a reason to start over new and actually start living the life I’ve always wanted.
“Everything about you makes me want to be better,” I said, gliding my hand up the front of his neck and feeling his racing pulse. When I cupped his chin, I raised his face to look at me. “I might not be what you wanted, but you’re the future I always pictured.”
He whined but complied after pressing one last kiss to Lennon’s mouth. I swooped in for a kiss next, and Lennon laughed as Kit and I took turns kissing him, holding him, and loving him. Eventually, I cut his hair, but by the time we’d finished, the sky was dark, our mouths were swollen, but our hearts were full.
“Baby,” Marley began, his voice husky with emotion, “I know we’ve made a lot of mistakes with you. We’ve hurt you so many times, and I wish I could go back and change it. But I can’t. So now, what I’ll wish for is to make you the happiest man I can. I want to wake up every day and know that you’re mine in every way possible. That I own your heart just as fiercely as you own mine.” He pushed up his dress shirt sleeves, displaying his arms, once scarred with his suffering and now etched with his hope. The scarification process had taken so much blood, pain, and time, but the result was worth every slice. On his right arm, a phoenix spread its wings, casting its feathered head toward the sky. Each feather concealed the words he’d once felt so strongly about himself but no longer did, and no one but Lennon and I knew they’d ever been there. The phoenix symbolized rebirth, harmony, and passion. For Marley, it also meant change.
Butterflies fluttered across his left arm, hiding Marley’s prior scars within their bodies cut into his skin. They symbolized rebirth and bravery. But they also symbolized hope. Something he’d struggled to hold on to for too long.
Lennon had tears in his eyes as he gazed at my twin, his love clear on every inch of his face. He appeared speechless, and I decided it was my turn to remind him how much I loved him.
“Red roses symbolize love and passion. Two words that I feel deeply for you. But even then, I could have gifted you every flower in the world, but none of them would have reflected the depth of my feelings for you.” I squeezed his hand and nipped playfully at his index finger. “You are my obsession, and Blackbird, I crave everything you’re willing to give me. I love you, so damn much. So what do you say?” I asked, gazing up at him with all the hope in the world.
Marley kissed Lennon’s knuckles. “Will you be ours?”
“Oh my gosh! You guys are insane.” Lennon threw his arms around us, laughing as tears of joy spilled down his cheeks. “But yes, yes, yes.”