Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years

by Chris Balme

An empowering guide for parents and teachers seeking a positive, practical alternative to the confusion and struggles of middle school.

“A must-read for anyone who has a tween or works with tweens.”
— Madeline Levine, New York Times bestselling author of The Price of Privilege and Ready or Not

How can parents stay close with their children through middle school? How do we help middle schoolers discover who they are, enjoy friendships, and manage their growing emotions? What kinds of learning experiences will keep them curious and motivated?

These and more questions are answered in this highly engaging and informed guide to the middle school years. Chris Balme draws on his experience as a middle school founder, principal, and teacher, together with the latest adolescent neuroscience. He shows what is going on in the brains of middle schoolers, and how that affects everything from their friendships to the way they relate to parents or show up in a classroom.

Parents will gain insight into how to transform their parenting to help middle schoolers find greater independence, connect well with peers, and have the deepest learning possible in and out of school. Educators will learn about the developmental keys to making middle school a place of belonging, with deep social and emotional learning and academics that draw out students’ full motivation and potential.


Praise for Finding the Magic in Middle School

“I love Finding the Magic in Middle School — as a parent of tweens, an educator, and a school design innovator. Chris's love for young people and the awkward but powerful path of self-discovery they travel in the middle school years is obvious, and its clarity inspires us to see and want to enable the magic. Weaving together brain research, storytelling, and design insights, Chris breaks us free from the old narrative of adolescence.”
— Kim Smith, Co-Founder of NewSchools Venture Fund and Pahara Institute

“What Chris Balme calls the "Ultimate Underdogs"—middle schoolers—are in for a better time of it now that he's written this book. After 20 years of working with this underestimated, under-trusted, under-stimulated swath of humanity, Balme has distilled what they need most, and how to give it to them. It doesn't look like your old social studies class.”
— Lenore Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Education, Professional Development

247 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 25, 2022

Reviews

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book that helps explain some of the stages of development we all go through (and continue to go through in life). And what types of learning experiences are most helpful to middle schoolers as they go through these stages.

[Karen Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly highly recommend for anyone who parents or works with middle schoolers! Great information about the developmental stages this age group goes through and how to navigate this alongside them. This was recommended by my daughter’s school principal.

[Rose Rockecharlie]

A great read if you work with middle schoolers, if you work with WyldLife just read parts one and two. Gets v specific at the end about how to run a school/classroom

[Kristan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend to middle school teachers and parents. I really appreciate that my son’s school supports this book and puts its ideas into practice.

[Sam Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

As far as I’m concerned, this book is the North Star for adults shepherding middle-schoolers through adolescence. Incredibly digestible with a hearty mix of charismatic anecdote, developmental research, and pragmatic advice on how to do the very hard thing of helping young humans find their sense of belonging, achievement, and authenticity. I blazed through it in a single day, and was left a bit hungry for more nitty-gritty details, but I also teach at a school that is grounded in many of the same principles as Millennium. If I were elsewhere, I imagine I would have closed this book with my mind on fire, totally inspired. But even with so much of it feeling familiar, I appreciated the plain-English style and humble tone, and I will likely send excerpts to families I work with in the upcoming school year.

[barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding the Magic in Middle school really laid out the developmental process of middle schoolers in a way that a parent could see and understand in a way that is actually helpful. It had so many helpful tips and advice on how to approach different topics with your child.

A good portion seemed to be geared towards teachers which wasn't exactly pertinent to me personally, but it was interesting to see the advice given to those professionally in education.

I hope that I can implement some of the tips and better understand the changes of middle school aged kids.

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's some good stuff here but the book isn't super readable or engaging. It's also a split focus- if you are only a parent or only a teacher, then swaths of the book won't apply to you. The author is an experienced middle school teacher who wrote this book as his own child approached middle school age and that kind of shines through. It's also kind of stressful- it makes you feel like you aren't doing enough.

I did definitely write down some ideas for things to try at home, though!

[Jordyne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book makes me LOOK FORWARD TO MIDDLE SCHOOL AGE... that's how good it is at illuminating what might be going on for the kids (vs. what we parents might experience), emphasizing the positives and amazing transformation of the Middle School aged kids (and us as Middle Aged parents 🙂) The book is full of insight, strategy and simple, immediate things to try. Among my favorites is this analogy that what Middle School aged kids might be experiencing is white water rafting-- it's THAT intense for them and tumultuous... so they may not pay attention to our parental advice given to them from the bank (however well-intentioned and relevant) because to them, they are trying to avoid a huge boulder! The book goes thru what Middle School aged kids are going thru (vs. what we see), what would be helpful from us in interacting w/them as welcome guides on their journey for more responsibility and eventually adulthood, features of Middle Schools to look for (if you have a choice), how to contribute to your Middle School culture, staff and teachers to best support the school experience... a lot of good stuff!

[Caitlin Trepp · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I liked about this book was how deeply it delved into the development needs of middle school students, and the sections where the author incorporated research. Not all of it is applicable to my school district, for whom I read this book. For example, this book suggests a school size of not more than 150 students, and advisory classes of 8-12 students. Obviously this is not possible with a population of more than 1,500 middle graders. A pet peeve of mine is also when present-day education professionals do not adequately address the issue of behavior. For example, there is a section where the principal/author approves a field trip to Washington, D.C. where students are given time to explore unattended by an adult of any kind. This would not work for the area of Los Angeles, CA where I teach. A lot goes wrong already, even with adults present, so in some of the practical applications of the ideas, the author lost me. However, there are still some significant takeaways here. For example, I would love to hear about some more of the project-based learning ideas the author's school, Millenium Middle School, undertakes.

[Ian Olson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about using adolescent development to encourage and advise parent/guardians and teachers on how to guide students effectively and intuitively. Balme formulates progressive stages, signifiers for the adolescent’s progression through them, and advice on how to guide them through the process. He provides examples from his own time as a middle school teacher and principle for how to help students accomplish their social and identity-based development in a positive way during their middle school journey. I enjoyed the book and appreciated the approach to relationship building. If you are a “WHY” person, you will enjoy this book.

[Jacqueline Babb · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the mom of a middle schooler, I want to be prepared for what others call the toughest time of parenting. My experience thus far has been enriching. My middle schooler is curious and kind, finding his way to competency. And I really enjoy watching him figure things out, being there for support if he needs me.

So there wasn’t a lot in the book that was terribly surprising. I like the framework around independence and authenticity. I appreciated the practical tips of being on the sidelines as a guide. But I would say there’s not a lot of new here.

[Jenna Rosenfeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

I teach in a middle school and this book was chosen this year as a focus for professional development. This book has great insight from different perspectives. It really allows for exploration of not only how to teach middle schoolers but also how to parent them. It also provides the science behind who they are and why. After having stability in life as an adult, you tend to forget what it is like to constantly be going through so many changes at once. This is a great book for anyone to read and explore.

[Barrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This should have been labeled as a teacher's book for middle school. Sure the first half was possibly for parents and was insightful and I am definitely using some of his ideas in the future, but this felt more like a curriculum book that gets passed around by the principal as required reading. The second half in particular was strictly for teachers. I wish it would have been more up front about that.

[Colleen Aben]

I picked this up based on a podcast I heard. I loved the synopsis highlights at the end of the chapter. It reaffirmed a lot of what I already knew. The podcast really did cover a lot of the highlights in general. One of my biggest takeaways is just the idea that we don't play into the 'middle school is going to be hard' but that it's really a great time for growth. Perspective on self discovery and changing friendships will be useful.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book! It was full of practical and reasonable reminders about the needs of middle school students that can be put to use by both parents and educators. Balme captured the nuance and potential of this development phase in a beautiful way that left me full of hope for how my children's middle school years can manifest. Highly recommend.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a parent of a middle schooler, I found this informative and helpful. Some things I already knew from other books or experience with my kiddo, but learned new things and appreciated some of the research and examples of alternative ways to teach kids this age and meet them where they are, set high expectations for them, and embrace how awesome they are.

[Ragon Duffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book to prep for middle school with Alice and it was great! It's an easy read, some great basic concepts I think we often need to be reminded of and sparked an excellent discussion with other parents. Highly recommend if you have a middle schooler or are about to have a middle schooler!

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful and orienting me to the next phase of this parenting journey. A little heavy on the proselytizing about specific ways that schools should be, without solid strategies about how to make those ideals accessible to more kids.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book was recommended by one of my favorite parenting podcasts, it wasn’t easy to find but it was worth it…the golden truths and silver linings and ten opportunities are worth their weight in gold gold.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was recommended by Lucy's middle-school principal. There were some parts where I thought--well, yes, but we don't live in San Francisco--but the overall philosophy and foundational principles behind it were excellent.

[Anna Grant · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve read that accurately capture the middle school years.

[Megan Alexander · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book after hearing about it at my son’s middle school. I am on their Site Council. It was very eye opening. I think many things in this book could relate to 4th and 5th graders, too.

[Kara Kilman · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have a middle schooler, will have a middle schooler, or teach middle schoolers this is the book for you.

[Claire Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid primer on the middle school years and how not to underestimate this extraordinary age.

[Susan O'Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource, so thoughtfully written, every middle school parent should own this.

[Mary Torpey · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first half is all well-trodden ground, and the back half has too strong a focus on advisory. The combination yields a book that is semi-useless to anyone who isn’t a school administrator.

[Laura Scherer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful. I will be referring to this book many times to help guide me through the next few years, as a first time middle school mom. Reading this has made it less scary.

[Amy Betters-Midtvedt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for middle school educators (and parents!)

[Allison Maroun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend - a perfect book to ease your mind and support any adolescent heading towards middle school.

[Joe McCluney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book full of useful information about young adolescence, their social development, core motivations, and the role adults can play in their lives at this age.