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Sporting Secrets #3
Playing for Keeps
Falling for your former best friend? Never a good idea.
Ethan Lewis is the joker of his rugby team, the guy who’s always up for a good time. The only thing that can wipe the smile from his face is any mention of his former best friend, Luke. He has no idea why Luke has actively avoided him for the past five years. Okay, so he broke the bro-code by hooking up with Luke’s sister, but the result was his son—and he wouldn’t change that for the world. So when he hears Luke’s signed a contract to play for his team, Ethan decides he’s going to do everything he can to get his best friend back.
Luke has returned to New Zealand from playing rugby overseas, determined to achieve his lifelong dream and make the national team. And he’s not about to let Ethan’s presence distract him. So what if one of his new teammates is the person who shredded his heart? Luke’s moved past that, and he’s happy now with his new boyfriend. There’s no way he’s falling back under Ethan’s spell.
But it turns out no matter how good you are at evading the opposition, there’s one thing you can never escape—and that’s the love of your life.
Ethan Lewis is the joker of his rugby team, the guy who’s always up for a good time. The only thing that can wipe the smile from his face is any mention of his former best friend, Luke. He has no idea why Luke has actively avoided him for the past five years. Okay, so he broke the bro-code by hooking up with Luke’s sister, but the result was his son—and he wouldn’t change that for the world. So when he hears Luke’s signed a contract to play for his team, Ethan decides he’s going to do everything he can to get his best friend back.
Luke has returned to New Zealand from playing rugby overseas, determined to achieve his lifelong dream and make the national team. And he’s not about to let Ethan’s presence distract him. So what if one of his new teammates is the person who shredded his heart? Luke’s moved past that, and he’s happy now with his new boyfriend. There’s no way he’s falling back under Ethan’s spell.
But it turns out no matter how good you are at evading the opposition, there’s one thing you can never escape—and that’s the love of your life.
348 pages, Paperback
First published July 6, 2022
208 people are currently reading
1386 people want to read
About the author
Jax Calder
31 books1,024 followersJax's stories are all about light-hearted conversations and deeply-felt connections. She loves exploring exactly why two characters are the only ones who’ll make the other truly happy, and the journey they take to reach their happily-ever-after.
Jax lives in New Zealand and is a rabid sports fan, a hiking enthusiast and has a slightly unhealthy addiction to nature documentaries. As an extrovert who spends way too much time in her own head, she loves to connect with readers. To read her exclusive novella Being Set Up, sign up to her newsletter: https://jaxcalder.com/newsletter-sign.... You can also join her Facebook group Jax's Crew (www.facebook.com/groups/jaxcaldercrew) for bonus stories plus exclusive excerpts from her upcoming books.
Jax lives in New Zealand and is a rabid sports fan, a hiking enthusiast and has a slightly unhealthy addiction to nature documentaries. As an extrovert who spends way too much time in her own head, she loves to connect with readers. To read her exclusive novella Being Set Up, sign up to her newsletter: https://jaxcalder.com/newsletter-sign.... You can also join her Facebook group Jax's Crew (www.facebook.com/groups/jaxcaldercrew) for bonus stories plus exclusive excerpts from her upcoming books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 293 reviews
July 14, 2022
Another really solid entry in this series
I still have the same weird wonder about why the New Zealand Rugby Union International side is never referred to as the All Blacks in this series of books.
But other than that, this was a really solid slightly more angsty, instalment in Jax's Sporting Secrets series.
It was an interesting approach to take with one of the MCs in a steady relationship with another man and, for me, it definitely worked to bring a different dimension.
I loved both Luke and Ethan, felt sorry for Luke’s twin sister and thought his boyfriend Jonathan was a wonderfully kind and insightful guy.
I'm really pleased to hear he's going to be getting his own happy ending with a certain brash Aussie.
As with the other books, there's a good balance between the sport and the romance and enough information given for those who know nothing about the game.
Ethan's son Theo, Luke's nephew, was a lively and sweet six-year-old who provided a number of important story points and I would have been happy with a bit more of him.
Overall I loved that these two young men, once they reconnected, actually do have the hard conversations when it comes down to the crunch.
I still have the same weird wonder about why the New Zealand Rugby Union International side is never referred to as the All Blacks in this series of books.
But other than that, this was a really solid slightly more angsty, instalment in Jax's Sporting Secrets series.
It was an interesting approach to take with one of the MCs in a steady relationship with another man and, for me, it definitely worked to bring a different dimension.
I loved both Luke and Ethan, felt sorry for Luke’s twin sister and thought his boyfriend Jonathan was a wonderfully kind and insightful guy.
I'm really pleased to hear he's going to be getting his own happy ending with a certain brash Aussie.
As with the other books, there's a good balance between the sport and the romance and enough information given for those who know nothing about the game.
Ethan's son Theo, Luke's nephew, was a lively and sweet six-year-old who provided a number of important story points and I would have been happy with a bit more of him.
Overall I loved that these two young men, once they reconnected, actually do have the hard conversations when it comes down to the crunch.
June 30, 2023
I said something very similar for book 2: the first half of this book was so good. This author really know how to set up a plot and write such good pining and tension. The prologue and first few chapters were so well done I felt the heartbreak and emotions between the characters. It’s the second half this author struggles with. Wrapping up the plot without dragging it on too long. Tying up all the loose ends in a satisfying way.
Still overall a good book and a good series. I need Jonathan’s book now!!
Still overall a good book and a good series. I need Jonathan’s book now!!
July 6, 2022
I’m sorry but this was a miss for me . I keep trying to find the greatness of the first book in the series and after the second one’s miss I had hopes that Playing for keeps would be the winner but it wasn’t. I spent most of the book annoyed with both characters who apparently couldn’t communicate without making lame awful jokes when they should have been clearing the air by talking about serious issues. I’m also disappointed that the author once again chose to condition the MC’s happiness by a female ex’s approval- who wasn’t even an ex so I didn’t get what was that they owed her. Luke was made to be the bad guy always when he actually had very good reasons for everything he did while Ethan was a coward from the beginning till the end of the book and he always put everyone above Luke so I never really warmed up to him. I could see a lot of tiny love gestures from Luke towards Ethan peppered throughout the book but not even one love gesture from Ethan towards Luke other than empty words. And let’s not mention the awful , jealous and petty sister or the clueless and snotty parents.
I love this author’s writing and it is an ok book so don’t let my review stop you from reading it .
I love this author’s writing and it is an ok book so don’t let my review stop you from reading it .
July 1, 2022
What I liked: I liked the friendship between Luke and Ethan, they obviously always cared about one another. I really liked the glimpses we had of Theo and of Ethan as a dad. I think Luke was a really great uncle too. I liked Johnathan and how mature he was to see Luke’s dynamic with Ethan. I’m very happy he’s getting his book! I loved the setting, after reading a few of Calder’s books I would love to visit New Zealand.
What I didn’t like: Ok, deep breath. In (hold for 10 seconds) and out. First of all, I have loved the other books I have read of this authors, I love their writing. I knew going in this could be problematic for me but I thought that if the story didn’t go the way I thought it could go then it’d be ok. But alas, no, the story went there. It unfortunately went the way that seemed unoriginal in making the female character the “bad guy” in a way. I didn’t like that Ethan slept with Luke’s twin sister to begin with but he was very drunk. Once he found out she was pregnant he was there for her and that baby. Huge win! The sister, Char, never really breaks out of her shell as a character. She is one dimensional and it’s so expected in what she confesses to eventually. I had high hopes at first that she wouldn’t be that way.
Luke’s mom, what was her deal? She was so privileged and snooty for thinking Ethan wasn’t good enough as a young boy to be friends with Luke. And Luke’s dad, get a clue buddy! You have two children!
I thought that Luke was set up as the one in the wrong, leaving Ethan when he needed him most. Dude, you slept with his twin sister and got her pregnant! Sure, you didn’t know Luke was in love with you but I think Luke had every right to walk away.
Unfortunately the story was a let down for me. I didn’t get the good feeling I did from the other books by Calder that I’ve read and I hated the direction it took.
ARC received for review
All thoughts and opinions are my own
What I didn’t like: Ok, deep breath. In (hold for 10 seconds) and out. First of all, I have loved the other books I have read of this authors, I love their writing. I knew going in this could be problematic for me but I thought that if the story didn’t go the way I thought it could go then it’d be ok. But alas, no, the story went there. It unfortunately went the way that seemed unoriginal in making the female character the “bad guy” in a way. I didn’t like that Ethan slept with Luke’s twin sister to begin with but he was very drunk. Once he found out she was pregnant he was there for her and that baby. Huge win! The sister, Char, never really breaks out of her shell as a character. She is one dimensional and it’s so expected in what she confesses to eventually. I had high hopes at first that she wouldn’t be that way.
Luke’s mom, what was her deal? She was so privileged and snooty for thinking Ethan wasn’t good enough as a young boy to be friends with Luke. And Luke’s dad, get a clue buddy! You have two children!
I thought that Luke was set up as the one in the wrong, leaving Ethan when he needed him most. Dude, you slept with his twin sister and got her pregnant! Sure, you didn’t know Luke was in love with you but I think Luke had every right to walk away.
Unfortunately the story was a let down for me. I didn’t get the good feeling I did from the other books by Calder that I’ve read and I hated the direction it took.
ARC received for review
All thoughts and opinions are my own
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 8, 2022
Sorry it is a miss, the first by this series.
Still trying to find the chemistry between the MC.
Their past has a bit of issues, so considering the premises it is difficult in real life to imagine how the situation could have been solved.
Skimmied a lot.
Still trying to find the chemistry between the MC.
Their past has a bit of issues, so considering the premises it is difficult in real life to imagine how the situation could have been solved.
Skimmied a lot.
July 2, 2022
"Love was like a nuclear ray, a force designed to radiate backwards. But when the recipient wasn't prepared to absorb it, it bounced back and blew up the source."
I have enjoyed all of the books so far in the Sporting Secrets series by Jax Calder and Playing for Keeps is no exception. They are all low angst, MM, sports romance stories.
Whilst the books are all standalone, they are linked through rugby and in this instalment, through the Marauders NZ rugby team. This is Luke and Ethan's story.
You will inhale Playing for Keeps if you love:
🌶️MM sports romance
🌶️best friends to enemies to lovers
🌶️sister's baby daddy (no cheating)
🌶️steamy times
🌶️low angst
🌶️all the feels
🌶️best friend banter
🌶️bi-awakening
🌶️first times
🌶️HEA
4 cute and steamy stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐
I have enjoyed all of the books so far in the Sporting Secrets series by Jax Calder and Playing for Keeps is no exception. They are all low angst, MM, sports romance stories.
Whilst the books are all standalone, they are linked through rugby and in this instalment, through the Marauders NZ rugby team. This is Luke and Ethan's story.
You will inhale Playing for Keeps if you love:
🌶️MM sports romance
🌶️best friends to enemies to lovers
🌶️sister's baby daddy (no cheating)
🌶️steamy times
🌶️low angst
🌶️all the feels
🌶️best friend banter
🌶️bi-awakening
🌶️first times
🌶️HEA
4 cute and steamy stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐
November 17, 2024
POV: The man you've loved since you were 8 tells you he was so in love with you that he had sex with your sister. Because she has your eyes. I have met 'ain't shit' MCs but Ethan is a discovery.
Char got off too easy. And I'm not going to mince words about it. Never have I prayed more for someone's death. But alas! Not today, it seems.
I don't know if a confession warrants forgiveness. I didn't get penitent vibes from her. More of getting shit off her chest.
Up next in my detailed line of fire is Ethan. I'm very conflicted about Ethan.
"But with Luke I remembered. Every. Single. Detail."
I went into this thinking I wouldn't like Ethan. But how could I not when he thinks things like this 😭😭😭
Then I remember that all the shit they're going through is 90% Ethan's fault. Of all the people, in all the world, he chose Char? CHAR? It would have been a betrayal of epic proportions even with another person. But it being Char just shot it into the stratosphere.
He really ruined everything. These two were not victims of circumstances. They were victims of Ethan. Luke's a better man than me because I don't know if I'd have ever found it in me to forgive it.
"From the moment Theo had been conceived, Ethan had stopped being mine."
My heart broke for Luke. The accuracy of this can not be overstated. That's pretty much the sum of it all, and the basis for all the angst.
It didn't help that Ethan had all the flowery language but no action to back it up. Things just seemed to happen to him. Char. Theo. First kiss. All overtures. He never got off his ass to fight for what he and Luke could have. Not once. Given the magnitude of his crimes, I hoped for a lot more hustling.
Don't get me wrong. I get that it takes two to tango. But I'd have loved to see Ethan put Luke above literally anything else for once. Just the one time.
Luke fought for this relationship. Ethan didn't.
I realize that he was in a complicated situation. But Luke deserved to come first at least once, in some form. I kept waiting for some gesture from Ethan but guess what? Crickets.
And I'm not buying the bullshit of Luke having been wrong to go to Japan. If I found out my best friend whom I love had sex with my twin and they're having a child, fucking off to Japan would be the mildest reaction. He was eighteen too. This mess happened to him too.
Don't get me wrong. I loved this book. I felt all the feelings. And yet, somehow, I still feel a little sorry for Luke. (a lot sorry)
Char got off too easy. And I'm not going to mince words about it. Never have I prayed more for someone's death. But alas! Not today, it seems.
I don't know if a confession warrants forgiveness. I didn't get penitent vibes from her. More of getting shit off her chest.
Up next in my detailed line of fire is Ethan. I'm very conflicted about Ethan.
"But with Luke I remembered. Every. Single. Detail."
I went into this thinking I wouldn't like Ethan. But how could I not when he thinks things like this 😭😭😭
Then I remember that all the shit they're going through is 90% Ethan's fault. Of all the people, in all the world, he chose Char? CHAR? It would have been a betrayal of epic proportions even with another person. But it being Char just shot it into the stratosphere.
He really ruined everything. These two were not victims of circumstances. They were victims of Ethan. Luke's a better man than me because I don't know if I'd have ever found it in me to forgive it.
"From the moment Theo had been conceived, Ethan had stopped being mine."
My heart broke for Luke. The accuracy of this can not be overstated. That's pretty much the sum of it all, and the basis for all the angst.
It didn't help that Ethan had all the flowery language but no action to back it up. Things just seemed to happen to him. Char. Theo. First kiss. All overtures. He never got off his ass to fight for what he and Luke could have. Not once. Given the magnitude of his crimes, I hoped for a lot more hustling.
Don't get me wrong. I get that it takes two to tango. But I'd have loved to see Ethan put Luke above literally anything else for once. Just the one time.
Luke fought for this relationship. Ethan didn't.
I realize that he was in a complicated situation. But Luke deserved to come first at least once, in some form. I kept waiting for some gesture from Ethan but guess what? Crickets.
And I'm not buying the bullshit of Luke having been wrong to go to Japan. If I found out my best friend whom I love had sex with my twin and they're having a child, fucking off to Japan would be the mildest reaction. He was eighteen too. This mess happened to him too.
Don't get me wrong. I loved this book. I felt all the feelings. And yet, somehow, I still feel a little sorry for Luke. (a lot sorry)
June 30, 2023
3.5 - This was not my favourite from this series but I still overall enjoyed it and really liked the tone of the authors writing. I loved the initial prologue and the first half but then the momentum seemed to get a little lost and I got frustrated with the lack of communication. The tension was great in the first half but towards the end things unravelled a bit. This was a tough situation for the MC’s to be in. I liked that the angst didn’t come from the sporting situation for a change. I loved the NZ setting (Wanaka is beautiful!), hearing NZ slang, reading about rugby and meeting Jonathan. I’m looking forward to reading his story.
Currently reading
June 24, 2022I'm so excited to bring you Ethan and Luke's story soon... sneak peek of the prologue is below:
Prologue: Luke
6 years earlier
I walked into the bar and the sight of Ethan’s blond head had my heart doing its usual happy dance.
I used the walk to the booth to tamp down my feelings to a level that was more appropriate for a guy seeing his best friend.
“Hey, man.” I slipped into the seat across from him.
Ethan gave me one of his sunshine grins, but I instantly knew it was a fake. I’d been on the receiving end of his real grins often enough to notice the missing ingredients now—the sparkle in his green eyes, the way the left side of his mouth tilted higher, the dimple in his right cheek.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “I got you a beer.” He slid a Canterbury Draught, my favorite, across the table.
“Now that’s service,” I said.
“You know me.” Another fake grin. “I aim to please.”
“You going to grab something to eat?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m not hungry. You get something though.”
I scanned the menu, but my attention kept drifting back to Ethan. He sipped his beer intermittently while he messed around with the condiment packets on the table.
Ethan was a fidgeter when he was nervous.
He arranged the sugar packets into a pyramid, but he somehow managed to rip one, scattering white grains over the table.
“Shit.”
I reached out and clamped my hand over his, trying to ignore how the nerves in my fingers buzzed where I touched his warm skin.
“You’re turning fidgeting into an Olympic sport,” I said.
Ethan looked at me, the corners of his eyes creasing as he finally gave me his real smile. “I’ve always wanted to be an Olympic champion of something. I guess I’ll take fidgeting. What are the marks awarded for?”
I released his hand so I could tick off the categories on my fingers. “Degree of difficulty, finger technique and duration.”
We grinned at each other and lightness filled me. Because this was us. Kings of spinning random shit, of creating our own private universe together.
He blew out a large breath, ruffling his fringe, then looked away, his grin vanishing as he concentrated on sweeping the spilled sugar into a paper napkin.
My heart thudded.
Ethan had invited me to the pub, saying in his message that he wanted to talk about something. From how nervous he was, it was obviously something major.
Hope flared inside me, bright and sharp.
Was this what I’d been waiting for?
Recently we’d had a…moment.
Well, we’d had a series of moments growing up. But I was fairly sure Ethan had chalked those up to stuff you did with your best friend when you were horny and no one else was volunteering their hand. He had no idea how much those moments meant to me, how much my craving for him had increased as the years passed.
A few months ago, to celebrate finishing high school, we’d headed over to my family’s holiday house in Wānaka.
We’d had a great time. Dunking each other in the lake, playing golf together, spending long summer nights out on the porch spinning our usual shit. The whole weekend, things had seemed charged between us.
We were both provisionally signed to the Marauders training squad, so yeah, anything that happened between Ethan and me would have to be on the down low.
But I didn’t care about that.
I was about to be a professional rugby player. I had the rugby world at my feet. All I needed now was Ethan by my side.
On the last morning in Wānaka, we’d gotten up at five o’clock to hike up Mount Iron. At the top we’d sat shoulder to shoulder and watched the sunrise.
“Shit, it’s beautiful,” Ethan said, staring out over the lake and mountains. “Makes you glad to be alive.”
Being around Ethan made me glad to be alive. But I didn’t want to say that.
“Yeah.”
Ethan turned to look at me, and I didn’t know if I’d been quick enough to hide the hunger on my face.
He bit his lip, and the action drew my attention to his full, pouty mouth. When I lifted my gaze back to his, his eyes seemed to burn with heat.
My heart pounded in my ears. What would he do if I leaned in and kissed him? For all our messing around, we’d never come close to kissing. Kissing was different, kissing was deliberate, kissing would actually mean something.
But I hesitated, and then the sounds of more people arriving at the summit shattered the moment.
I’d replayed those few seconds almost constantly since, cursing myself for hesitating. Because on our descent, Ethan had got a call. His mum’s MS had flared up and she’d been rushed to hospital, so we’d headed back to Christchurch early. Then, on the day his mother got out of hospital, my dad sprung a surprise graduation present on me—a trip to Australia. By the time I got home, Ethan had already started his seven-day-a-week back-breaking holiday job. I’d hardly seen him, let alone had time to work out whether the heat I’d glimpsed in his eyes that morning had been real or a figment of my hopeful imagination.
Maybe Ethan had decided to be braver than me now, to actually address this thing simmering between us.
“How was your day?” he asked.
I wrenched my thoughts away from Wānaka and answered honestly. “It was shit, actually. A bit of family drama.”
A “bit” was the understatement of the century. Perhaps the millennia.
Ethan’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought I owned the family drama card in this friendship.”
“I’ve stolen it from you and it’s mine now.”
“You want to talk about it?”
I hesitated. An hour ago my twin sister, Char, had announced she was pregnant, and my parents were currently going apeshit. We weren’t the type of family in which daughters got knocked up at eighteen.
Char had been uncharacteristically stubborn, insisting she was keeping the baby. She’d also refused to say who the father was.
I’d had to leave partway through the argument, so discussing it now felt premature when nothing had been decided. Besides, I was desperate to know what Ethan wanted to talk about. “Nah, it’s okay. Anyway, what’s up with you?”
Ethan hesitated. His eyebrows drew together, turning his face uncharacteristically serious. “We’ve been friends for what…twelve years now?”
“Fuck, your maths is good. Ms. Bowman would be so proud,” I teased, naming our Year Nine maths teacher, who hadn’t been Ethan’s favorite person. They’d had differing opinions about whether Ethan’s sense of humor helped or hindered the rest of the class learning maths. I still laughed when I remembered Ethan asking Ms. Bowman if we could debate maths, trying to lure her into saying “maths debate”. It was the kind of thing that amused us at thirteen.
Ethan smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure I’m her favorite ex-student.”
“The emphasis being on ex,” I joked.
His smile faded. “The point is, I don’t want anything to change that. Our friendship, I mean.”
“Nothing’s going to change it,” I promised.
Was that what he was worried about? That if we tried for more and failed, we wouldn’t be friends anymore?
I couldn’t imagine my life without Ethan. It was like imagining a world without gravity.
Ethan’s face reflected his uncertainty.
And fuck, I wanted to touch him. A hand on the shoulder was in the appropriate friend touching category. But as I reached across, eyes intent on his face, I accidentally knocked his wallet off the table.
“Shit. Sorry.” I leaned down. The wallet lay open on the floor, along with a piece of paper that must have been tucked inside.
I picked it up, blinked at it a few times.
It was a copy of an ultrasound photo, the size of a polaroid. Printed at the top was a name: Charlotte Hunter.
I straightened and frowned at Ethan. “Why do you have Char’s ultrasound photo?”
Ethan’s throat worked hard. “I…uh…”
As he stammered, my brain connected the dots—and the most awful picture in the world emerged.
No. This couldn’t be happening.
I struggled to draw breath into my lungs. It felt as if I’d been winded by an illegal tackle.
“Please tell me you’re not the father.” There was a pleading, desperate edge to my voice I’d never heard before.
Ethan’s face was full of regret. “I’m sorry.”
My heart felt like that sugar packet. Ripped open. The contents spilled all over the table, never to be intact again.
Ethan and Char. Having a baby. Together.
Bile rose in my throat. Fuck. I was going to be sick.
I threw down the ultrasound photo and stumbled to my feet, desperate to make it to the bathroom before I shared my stomach contents with the floor.
Ethan’s eyes were wide as he watched me. “Luke.” He half stood, reaching an arm out toward me. I put up a hand to stop him.
Why hadn’t I been honest about how I felt? Now it was too late. Everything was ruined.
“I’ll never forgive you for this.”
I didn’t know if it was Ethan or myself I was talking to.
You can pre-order Playing for Keeps on Amazon: mybook.to/PlayingforKeepsJCalder
Prologue: Luke
6 years earlier
I walked into the bar and the sight of Ethan’s blond head had my heart doing its usual happy dance.
I used the walk to the booth to tamp down my feelings to a level that was more appropriate for a guy seeing his best friend.
“Hey, man.” I slipped into the seat across from him.
Ethan gave me one of his sunshine grins, but I instantly knew it was a fake. I’d been on the receiving end of his real grins often enough to notice the missing ingredients now—the sparkle in his green eyes, the way the left side of his mouth tilted higher, the dimple in his right cheek.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “I got you a beer.” He slid a Canterbury Draught, my favorite, across the table.
“Now that’s service,” I said.
“You know me.” Another fake grin. “I aim to please.”
“You going to grab something to eat?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m not hungry. You get something though.”
I scanned the menu, but my attention kept drifting back to Ethan. He sipped his beer intermittently while he messed around with the condiment packets on the table.
Ethan was a fidgeter when he was nervous.
He arranged the sugar packets into a pyramid, but he somehow managed to rip one, scattering white grains over the table.
“Shit.”
I reached out and clamped my hand over his, trying to ignore how the nerves in my fingers buzzed where I touched his warm skin.
“You’re turning fidgeting into an Olympic sport,” I said.
Ethan looked at me, the corners of his eyes creasing as he finally gave me his real smile. “I’ve always wanted to be an Olympic champion of something. I guess I’ll take fidgeting. What are the marks awarded for?”
I released his hand so I could tick off the categories on my fingers. “Degree of difficulty, finger technique and duration.”
We grinned at each other and lightness filled me. Because this was us. Kings of spinning random shit, of creating our own private universe together.
He blew out a large breath, ruffling his fringe, then looked away, his grin vanishing as he concentrated on sweeping the spilled sugar into a paper napkin.
My heart thudded.
Ethan had invited me to the pub, saying in his message that he wanted to talk about something. From how nervous he was, it was obviously something major.
Hope flared inside me, bright and sharp.
Was this what I’d been waiting for?
Recently we’d had a…moment.
Well, we’d had a series of moments growing up. But I was fairly sure Ethan had chalked those up to stuff you did with your best friend when you were horny and no one else was volunteering their hand. He had no idea how much those moments meant to me, how much my craving for him had increased as the years passed.
A few months ago, to celebrate finishing high school, we’d headed over to my family’s holiday house in Wānaka.
We’d had a great time. Dunking each other in the lake, playing golf together, spending long summer nights out on the porch spinning our usual shit. The whole weekend, things had seemed charged between us.
We were both provisionally signed to the Marauders training squad, so yeah, anything that happened between Ethan and me would have to be on the down low.
But I didn’t care about that.
I was about to be a professional rugby player. I had the rugby world at my feet. All I needed now was Ethan by my side.
On the last morning in Wānaka, we’d gotten up at five o’clock to hike up Mount Iron. At the top we’d sat shoulder to shoulder and watched the sunrise.
“Shit, it’s beautiful,” Ethan said, staring out over the lake and mountains. “Makes you glad to be alive.”
Being around Ethan made me glad to be alive. But I didn’t want to say that.
“Yeah.”
Ethan turned to look at me, and I didn’t know if I’d been quick enough to hide the hunger on my face.
He bit his lip, and the action drew my attention to his full, pouty mouth. When I lifted my gaze back to his, his eyes seemed to burn with heat.
My heart pounded in my ears. What would he do if I leaned in and kissed him? For all our messing around, we’d never come close to kissing. Kissing was different, kissing was deliberate, kissing would actually mean something.
But I hesitated, and then the sounds of more people arriving at the summit shattered the moment.
I’d replayed those few seconds almost constantly since, cursing myself for hesitating. Because on our descent, Ethan had got a call. His mum’s MS had flared up and she’d been rushed to hospital, so we’d headed back to Christchurch early. Then, on the day his mother got out of hospital, my dad sprung a surprise graduation present on me—a trip to Australia. By the time I got home, Ethan had already started his seven-day-a-week back-breaking holiday job. I’d hardly seen him, let alone had time to work out whether the heat I’d glimpsed in his eyes that morning had been real or a figment of my hopeful imagination.
Maybe Ethan had decided to be braver than me now, to actually address this thing simmering between us.
“How was your day?” he asked.
I wrenched my thoughts away from Wānaka and answered honestly. “It was shit, actually. A bit of family drama.”
A “bit” was the understatement of the century. Perhaps the millennia.
Ethan’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought I owned the family drama card in this friendship.”
“I’ve stolen it from you and it’s mine now.”
“You want to talk about it?”
I hesitated. An hour ago my twin sister, Char, had announced she was pregnant, and my parents were currently going apeshit. We weren’t the type of family in which daughters got knocked up at eighteen.
Char had been uncharacteristically stubborn, insisting she was keeping the baby. She’d also refused to say who the father was.
I’d had to leave partway through the argument, so discussing it now felt premature when nothing had been decided. Besides, I was desperate to know what Ethan wanted to talk about. “Nah, it’s okay. Anyway, what’s up with you?”
Ethan hesitated. His eyebrows drew together, turning his face uncharacteristically serious. “We’ve been friends for what…twelve years now?”
“Fuck, your maths is good. Ms. Bowman would be so proud,” I teased, naming our Year Nine maths teacher, who hadn’t been Ethan’s favorite person. They’d had differing opinions about whether Ethan’s sense of humor helped or hindered the rest of the class learning maths. I still laughed when I remembered Ethan asking Ms. Bowman if we could debate maths, trying to lure her into saying “maths debate”. It was the kind of thing that amused us at thirteen.
Ethan smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure I’m her favorite ex-student.”
“The emphasis being on ex,” I joked.
His smile faded. “The point is, I don’t want anything to change that. Our friendship, I mean.”
“Nothing’s going to change it,” I promised.
Was that what he was worried about? That if we tried for more and failed, we wouldn’t be friends anymore?
I couldn’t imagine my life without Ethan. It was like imagining a world without gravity.
Ethan’s face reflected his uncertainty.
And fuck, I wanted to touch him. A hand on the shoulder was in the appropriate friend touching category. But as I reached across, eyes intent on his face, I accidentally knocked his wallet off the table.
“Shit. Sorry.” I leaned down. The wallet lay open on the floor, along with a piece of paper that must have been tucked inside.
I picked it up, blinked at it a few times.
It was a copy of an ultrasound photo, the size of a polaroid. Printed at the top was a name: Charlotte Hunter.
I straightened and frowned at Ethan. “Why do you have Char’s ultrasound photo?”
Ethan’s throat worked hard. “I…uh…”
As he stammered, my brain connected the dots—and the most awful picture in the world emerged.
No. This couldn’t be happening.
I struggled to draw breath into my lungs. It felt as if I’d been winded by an illegal tackle.
“Please tell me you’re not the father.” There was a pleading, desperate edge to my voice I’d never heard before.
Ethan’s face was full of regret. “I’m sorry.”
My heart felt like that sugar packet. Ripped open. The contents spilled all over the table, never to be intact again.
Ethan and Char. Having a baby. Together.
Bile rose in my throat. Fuck. I was going to be sick.
I threw down the ultrasound photo and stumbled to my feet, desperate to make it to the bathroom before I shared my stomach contents with the floor.
Ethan’s eyes were wide as he watched me. “Luke.” He half stood, reaching an arm out toward me. I put up a hand to stop him.
Why hadn’t I been honest about how I felt? Now it was too late. Everything was ruined.
“I’ll never forgive you for this.”
I didn’t know if it was Ethan or myself I was talking to.
You can pre-order Playing for Keeps on Amazon: mybook.to/PlayingforKeepsJCalder
October 19, 2023
4⭐ for this one and I don't care what anyone says. This was one of the best friends-to-lovers books I've read so far.
🟢 Friends-strangers-friends again-lovers
🔵 Bi/pan-awakening
🟣 Childhood friends
🌶️ Good spice, both vers
🟡 Great banter
❗ Teenage pregnancy, abusive home, foster care, overdose
This story was absolutely wonderful. There are so many books with this trope, but it's rare to find an author that delivers such an amazing build-up and doesn't start with sex at page 20 already. Everything was so well described, the depth was there and we also get much better intimacy, I loved the improvements.
Ethan and Luke have been best friends since they were little kids. Ethan comes from a poor family, his dad abandoning him and his mother when he was just a small kid and his mother having an addiction problem along with a series of bad, abusive boyfriends.
Luke was his best friend from the richer part of town, his family being wealthy, connected and Luke being totally loved and supported.
Luke and Ethan not only went to school together, but they did absolutely everything together and Luke kept Ethan from going to foster care when his mother got sick and he had noone, so we're talking about a lot of time spent together, along with growing up and sexually experiencing their firsts in terms of bro-helping, nothing else.
What Ethan didn't know was that Luke was gay.
"The thing was, I did have my love life figured out. I'd figured out who I wanted when I was eight years old, and nothing had ever changed."
We read about Luke being desperately in love with Ethan and wanting to be with him. Ethan has conflicting feelings about everything that's happening to him internally when he's with Luke. In that confusion a drunk Ethan makes the ultimate bad decision of sleeping with Luke's twin sister, gets her pregnant - and breaks Luke's heart.
Luke moves to Japan to play rugby, leaving Ethan completely alone, breaking off all contact with him.
When Luke comes back, he wants to keep Ethan at a distance, but they now play for the same team and they still have a natural chemistry between them, so much history and old affection, that they really pick up where they left off.
Only thing is, Luke comes back with a boyfriend - Jonathan, but Jonathan quickly realises Luke is desperately in love with his best friend and removes himself from the equation.
"You had a crush on him growing up, didn't you?" he said. Seeing Ethan had left me raw, with no filters working. "A crush? More like I was fucking head over heels in love with him."
With Luke and Ethan getting close and Luke finding out Ethan is bi/pansexual, they finally kiss and I have to mention this, because in the other books kissing and intimacy wasn't that well described, but here it is, it's so much better. That first kiss scene was absolutely amazing. 👏
"Those lips, those full pouty lips I'd been obsessed with for so long, were finally under mine."
They continue with getting more and more intimate and the spice was also so much better in this book. I don't feel like we're quite there yet, it could be much better, but it was really good nevertheless.
The way they profess their old, -and still there-, feelings for each other was heartfelt and intense .
I could absolutely feel the emotional connection between them, I think that was on the forefront of all their interactions and it absolutely worked for me. Just meant to be together. Soulmates.
"You knew it would be like this, a small voice inside my head reminded me. You knew this would consume you."
Their banter was really good and funny. They had amazing chemistry, I loved them as friends and then as boyfriends.
🟠 There were, however, a few things I didn't like or I felt were missing and up until the major conflict at 80% I was going to give these two a much higher rating, but I think even though the author built a wonderful story, nailed the trope and painted great characters, they had trouble delivering that final turnaround, that last third of the book where the conflict-resolve comes.
This was, as the previous installment, yet another book where the conflict wasn't really a conflict, but more a thing that annoys you and really didn't have to happen .
*️⃣ Why do Luke and Ethan, after all they've been through and having finally found each other, then decide that their relationship can't continue? Weren't they supposed to be best friends and go through it all together, fight for one another? We read so much about them and then in one sentence Ethan obliterates everything.
I really didn't think Ethan's character would do that and Luke wouldn't let him , at least that's how I percieved these two. Yes, Ethan has a kid, but he doesn't have a personal relationship with the son's mother and when that mother even confesses that she intentionally made a divide between Ethan and Luke, and they still need her blessing. 😮
Come on. Yes, kids are important but two adult people who were best friends, both having a much better relationship than Luke ever did with his twin sister Char, and them finally getting together - no, I don't think they would end it all only because Luke's sister made a mistake and ended up in a hospital . I thought that conflict was a terrible choice and surprised the hell out of me. I was also hoping they would stick together, no matter what.
*️⃣ That brings me to another topic that bothered me, and that was Luke and Char's relationship.
Luke was the golden child and his twin sister, being sick most of the time as a kid and then obviously completely ignored by everyone, has a terrible role in this book. She has absolutely no relationship with Luke, who's her twin, she's depressed obviously and is only just there, caring for Theo.
Her character should've been more developed and her relationship with Luke absolutely better - if not, well, then she should've gotten some karma for messing with Ethan and Luke , so I wasn't satisfied here at all.
I'm giving this book 4⭐, because I really liked both MMCs, I liked their dialogues, the banter, their chemistry and the emotional connection they had.
It doesn't hurt that they were both hot. 😄
The ending was strong, so was the wonderful epilogue. That mess with the sister ruined the story a little bit, but they're really strong together and I l'm hoping to read more about them.
I think the author's development of the stories in this series has much improved and I really hope the improvements keep on coming.
It appears we can look forward to Jonathan's book and I really can't wait, I liked him very much.
🟢 Friends-strangers-friends again-lovers
🔵 Bi/pan-awakening
🟣 Childhood friends
🌶️ Good spice, both vers
🟡 Great banter
❗ Teenage pregnancy, abusive home, foster care, overdose
This story was absolutely wonderful. There are so many books with this trope, but it's rare to find an author that delivers such an amazing build-up and doesn't start with sex at page 20 already. Everything was so well described, the depth was there and we also get much better intimacy, I loved the improvements.
Ethan and Luke have been best friends since they were little kids. Ethan comes from a poor family, his dad abandoning him and his mother when he was just a small kid and his mother having an addiction problem along with a series of bad, abusive boyfriends.
Luke was his best friend from the richer part of town, his family being wealthy, connected and Luke being totally loved and supported.
Luke and Ethan not only went to school together, but they did absolutely everything together and Luke kept Ethan from going to foster care when his mother got sick and he had noone, so we're talking about a lot of time spent together, along with growing up and sexually experiencing their firsts in terms of bro-helping, nothing else.
What Ethan didn't know was that Luke was gay.
"The thing was, I did have my love life figured out. I'd figured out who I wanted when I was eight years old, and nothing had ever changed."
We read about Luke being desperately in love with Ethan and wanting to be with him. Ethan has conflicting feelings about everything that's happening to him internally when he's with Luke. In that confusion a drunk Ethan makes the ultimate bad decision of sleeping with Luke's twin sister, gets her pregnant - and breaks Luke's heart.
Luke moves to Japan to play rugby, leaving Ethan completely alone, breaking off all contact with him.
When Luke comes back, he wants to keep Ethan at a distance, but they now play for the same team and they still have a natural chemistry between them, so much history and old affection, that they really pick up where they left off.
Only thing is, Luke comes back with a boyfriend - Jonathan, but Jonathan quickly realises Luke is desperately in love with his best friend and removes himself from the equation.
"You had a crush on him growing up, didn't you?" he said. Seeing Ethan had left me raw, with no filters working. "A crush? More like I was fucking head over heels in love with him."
With Luke and Ethan getting close and Luke finding out Ethan is bi/pansexual, they finally kiss and I have to mention this, because in the other books kissing and intimacy wasn't that well described, but here it is, it's so much better. That first kiss scene was absolutely amazing. 👏
"Those lips, those full pouty lips I'd been obsessed with for so long, were finally under mine."
They continue with getting more and more intimate and the spice was also so much better in this book. I don't feel like we're quite there yet, it could be much better, but it was really good nevertheless.
The way they profess their old, -and still there-, feelings for each other was heartfelt and intense .
I could absolutely feel the emotional connection between them, I think that was on the forefront of all their interactions and it absolutely worked for me. Just meant to be together. Soulmates.
"You knew it would be like this, a small voice inside my head reminded me. You knew this would consume you."
Their banter was really good and funny. They had amazing chemistry, I loved them as friends and then as boyfriends.
🟠 There were, however, a few things I didn't like or I felt were missing and up until the major conflict at 80% I was going to give these two a much higher rating, but I think even though the author built a wonderful story, nailed the trope and painted great characters, they had trouble delivering that final turnaround, that last third of the book where the conflict-resolve comes.
This was, as the previous installment, yet another book where the conflict wasn't really a conflict, but more a thing that annoys you and really didn't have to happen .
*️⃣ Why do Luke and Ethan, after all they've been through and having finally found each other, then decide that their relationship can't continue? Weren't they supposed to be best friends and go through it all together, fight for one another? We read so much about them and then in one sentence Ethan obliterates everything.
I really didn't think Ethan's character would do that and Luke wouldn't let him , at least that's how I percieved these two. Yes, Ethan has a kid, but he doesn't have a personal relationship with the son's mother and when that mother even confesses that she intentionally made a divide between Ethan and Luke, and they still need her blessing. 😮
Come on. Yes, kids are important but two adult people who were best friends, both having a much better relationship than Luke ever did with his twin sister Char, and them finally getting together - no, I don't think they would end it all only because Luke's sister made a mistake and ended up in a hospital . I thought that conflict was a terrible choice and surprised the hell out of me. I was also hoping they would stick together, no matter what.
*️⃣ That brings me to another topic that bothered me, and that was Luke and Char's relationship.
Luke was the golden child and his twin sister, being sick most of the time as a kid and then obviously completely ignored by everyone, has a terrible role in this book. She has absolutely no relationship with Luke, who's her twin, she's depressed obviously and is only just there, caring for Theo.
Her character should've been more developed and her relationship with Luke absolutely better - if not, well, then she should've gotten some karma for messing with Ethan and Luke , so I wasn't satisfied here at all.
I'm giving this book 4⭐, because I really liked both MMCs, I liked their dialogues, the banter, their chemistry and the emotional connection they had.
It doesn't hurt that they were both hot. 😄
The ending was strong, so was the wonderful epilogue. That mess with the sister ruined the story a little bit, but they're really strong together and I l'm hoping to read more about them.
I think the author's development of the stories in this series has much improved and I really hope the improvements keep on coming.
It appears we can look forward to Jonathan's book and I really can't wait, I liked him very much.
August 6, 2023
I’ll read anything by Jax Calder and this book was no exception. Best friends to lovers, silly jokes, second chance romance with no angst. Kudos also for not dragging out Jonathan’s storyline.
May 29, 2023
Don’t come for me for the low rating until you’ve read why I gave it low stars.
At the start I was really rooting for Luke and Ethan; however, I am not a fan of stories that center on a main character being romantically involved with their sibling’s ex.
Admittedly, this is a complex situation. I get the vibe that we, the readers, were meant to judge Luke for pulling away from his friendship with Ethan and his family. Yet, his heart was broken not only by his best friend and unrequited love but his older twin sister. So, homie got a pass for booking it. Don’t blame him.
I, personally, would have tore my sibling a new a****** for that betrayal lol. But that’s just me. 😊
Fair warning ⛔️ ⚠️ spoilers ahead. Trigger warning.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Come to find out that Char intentionally got Ethan drunk so that she could sleep with him. She wanted him to choose her over her brother. 🙄 So….she’s sexually assaulted someone because she was jealous, and Luke was all about forgiving her and saying he was not a great brother either?🙃NO! Your rapist sister intentionally got someone drunk and took away their full ability to give their consent. That’s all on her. The fact that this was swept under the rug and made to seem like Ethan could have said no? HE WAS DRUNK. She made sure he was so. I’m not even here for people to say that it wasn’t rape. No. In the very least—it’s dubious consent. So sexual assault.
She was not inebriated. She had sense and full knowledge of her actions. She did what she did knowing full well that Ethan was not in full control of his mind or body. That was her plan all along. She wanted to trap him in a relationship too after she got pregnant. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Because of that I cannot rate this book any higher. It’s a shame because Ethan and Luke’s story was lovely. It was just ruined by Char’s existence. Poor Theo to have a mother who would do something so abominable to another human.
On a lighter note: Johnathan deserves his own HEA. Luke and Ethan were meant to be.
Char deserves prison. Ethan should sue for full custody. 🤷🏻♀️
*ARC provided by Gay Romance Reviews, and I have given my honest and voluntary review.*
At the start I was really rooting for Luke and Ethan; however, I am not a fan of stories that center on a main character being romantically involved with their sibling’s ex.
Admittedly, this is a complex situation. I get the vibe that we, the readers, were meant to judge Luke for pulling away from his friendship with Ethan and his family. Yet, his heart was broken not only by his best friend and unrequited love but his older twin sister. So, homie got a pass for booking it. Don’t blame him.
I, personally, would have tore my sibling a new a****** for that betrayal lol. But that’s just me. 😊
Fair warning ⛔️ ⚠️ spoilers ahead. Trigger warning.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Come to find out that Char intentionally got Ethan drunk so that she could sleep with him. She wanted him to choose her over her brother. 🙄 So….she’s sexually assaulted someone because she was jealous, and Luke was all about forgiving her and saying he was not a great brother either?🙃NO! Your rapist sister intentionally got someone drunk and took away their full ability to give their consent. That’s all on her. The fact that this was swept under the rug and made to seem like Ethan could have said no? HE WAS DRUNK. She made sure he was so. I’m not even here for people to say that it wasn’t rape. No. In the very least—it’s dubious consent. So sexual assault.
She was not inebriated. She had sense and full knowledge of her actions. She did what she did knowing full well that Ethan was not in full control of his mind or body. That was her plan all along. She wanted to trap him in a relationship too after she got pregnant. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Because of that I cannot rate this book any higher. It’s a shame because Ethan and Luke’s story was lovely. It was just ruined by Char’s existence. Poor Theo to have a mother who would do something so abominable to another human.
On a lighter note: Johnathan deserves his own HEA. Luke and Ethan were meant to be.
Char deserves prison. Ethan should sue for full custody. 🤷🏻♀️
*ARC provided by Gay Romance Reviews, and I have given my honest and voluntary review.*
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 9, 2022
Lovely second chance romance
Luke and Ethan were best friends growing up, but then Ethan got Luke's twin sister pregnant. Six years later, they are playing on the same pro rugby team. Nice character development and growth although a little short of five stars worth. Still it was well written and enjoyable. A great rainy-day read.
Luke and Ethan were best friends growing up, but then Ethan got Luke's twin sister pregnant. Six years later, they are playing on the same pro rugby team. Nice character development and growth although a little short of five stars worth. Still it was well written and enjoyable. A great rainy-day read.
July 22, 2022
2.5 rounded down
I was a bit hesitant about this one, and my fears proved to be founded. It was an okay read for the most part, but there was a LOT of baggage between them that required a ton of conversations and working through before I could have really believed in them, and we just didn't get that. It was quite rushed and surface level for me, which would have been frustrating in general, but particularly with the history here, I needed more.
I was a bit hesitant about this one, and my fears proved to be founded. It was an okay read for the most part, but there was a LOT of baggage between them that required a ton of conversations and working through before I could have really believed in them, and we just didn't get that. It was quite rushed and surface level for me, which would have been frustrating in general, but particularly with the history here, I needed more.
May 5, 2025
"You had a crush on him growing up, didn't you?" he said.
Seeing Ethan had left me raw, with no filters working.
"A crush? More like I was f*cking head over heels in love with him."
Jax is the queen of messy drama. I was laughing because at one point as I was reading this, I was messaging a friend telling her how into it I was, and telling her it was like witnessing a Jerry Springer episode at times, but... HOT and ROMANTIC instead of being TACKY and TRASHY. It takes some massive finesse to turn these situations Jax's characters find themselves in and keep it complicated and convoluted without veering into total Springer-land. Ten pages after we had this conversation, the characters in the book have their OWN conversation about how their lives were lifted right out of a Jerry Springer episode... and I died laughing. Because Jax likes to laugh at the situations she creates, and that is part of the allure.
Ethan and Luke are MESSY. This is kinnnnnd of a second chance romance (but not exactly)-- kind of a coming-of-age romance (but mooorreeee) and kind of a single daddy story? Friends to lovers?? Friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers?! DEAR GOD I could not categorize this romance if you had a gun to my head, but what I can tell you is that I LOVED EVERY MESSY SECOND.
Ethan and Luke are childhood besties. The codependent kind-- probably partly stemming from the fact that Ethan's home life is shit, and he ends up spending lots of hours and overnights at Luke's. Luke has always been his best friend, and acts as even more of a support system when Ethan returns from a brief stint in foster care that left him traumatized.
At some point in their teens, they begin experimentally sexually with one another in secret. For Ethan, it is hot and fun, but he doesn't necessarily understand what it means for his sexuality or his friendship with Luke. Luke, on the other hand, knows he is gay and is totally and completely in love with his best friend.
Ethan makes the mistake of a lifetime when he drunkenly sleeps with Luke's twin sister one evening, during a time where he is massively confused over his feelings for Luke, which are intertwined with his feelings of inadequacy in general, and his retained trauma. (Not a spoiler... we see this in the prologue). This one night results in Ethan becoming a teenage dad to Theo-- putting his dreams of a future on hold, and leaving his friendship with Luke in tatters. Luke, utterly heartbroken, takes off for Japan to play professional rugby- leaving his best friend and the love of his life, his sister, his parents and his entire childhood behind as he disappears to try and recover and heal.
Are we messy yet? Yeah. So messy. But.. also... so damn delicious, when 6 years later Luke is drafted to play rugby back in NZ, on the same team as Ethan. And he moves back to his hometown, with his hot boyfriend in tow, determined to convince himself Ethan has no effect on him any longer. And all of the drama ensues.
This story, like so many of Jax's others, has a "fated" feel running through the whole thing. These two were chemical from the moment they hit puberty. They have orbited around one another their whole lives, attracted to the other's presence since they can remember. They are one another's safe landings, and they are also incredibly intuitive-- the way they "read minds-" and the ultimate banter that ensues, essentially meaning they communicate in a language only they really understand- it is pretty obvious to the rest of the world that they are something magnetic, something special.
We have SO MUCH DRAMA to contend with in this juicy story. We have Luke's boyfriend, who moved to NZ from Japan to be with him. We have the fact that Ethan can be dense as a rock and takes FOREVER to figure out that his connection to Luke makes him something other than straight. We have the fact that the two play on the same professional rugby team.... and probably the biggest dramatic storyline- the fact that Ethan is Theo's dad, and Luke is Theo's uncle. And how does the twin sister Charlotte feel about all of this?! Hot damn, Jerry Springer. SIGN THEM UP.
But absolutely nothing could end up in their way, because there was no other option than these two ending up together. It was obvious to me from the very beginning- I said it earlier and I will say it again- Jax SLAYS when it comes to the fated romance/only you/it's only ever been you/you and me against the world kind of love. She writes this so perfectly, and these two are a shining example of that kind of romance.
"I'm not running away this time. I'm standing here, my heart broken and bleeding, and I'm telling you that I love you and I want you. No, I don't just want you. I want the me I am when I'm around you. I want us."
Absolutely swoony, exciting, chemical romance-- one of my very favorites of Jax's!!!!
Seeing Ethan had left me raw, with no filters working.
"A crush? More like I was f*cking head over heels in love with him."
Jax is the queen of messy drama. I was laughing because at one point as I was reading this, I was messaging a friend telling her how into it I was, and telling her it was like witnessing a Jerry Springer episode at times, but... HOT and ROMANTIC instead of being TACKY and TRASHY. It takes some massive finesse to turn these situations Jax's characters find themselves in and keep it complicated and convoluted without veering into total Springer-land. Ten pages after we had this conversation, the characters in the book have their OWN conversation about how their lives were lifted right out of a Jerry Springer episode... and I died laughing. Because Jax likes to laugh at the situations she creates, and that is part of the allure.
Ethan and Luke are MESSY. This is kinnnnnd of a second chance romance (but not exactly)-- kind of a coming-of-age romance (but mooorreeee) and kind of a single daddy story? Friends to lovers?? Friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers?! DEAR GOD I could not categorize this romance if you had a gun to my head, but what I can tell you is that I LOVED EVERY MESSY SECOND.
Ethan and Luke are childhood besties. The codependent kind-- probably partly stemming from the fact that Ethan's home life is shit, and he ends up spending lots of hours and overnights at Luke's. Luke has always been his best friend, and acts as even more of a support system when Ethan returns from a brief stint in foster care that left him traumatized.
At some point in their teens, they begin experimentally sexually with one another in secret. For Ethan, it is hot and fun, but he doesn't necessarily understand what it means for his sexuality or his friendship with Luke. Luke, on the other hand, knows he is gay and is totally and completely in love with his best friend.
Ethan makes the mistake of a lifetime when he drunkenly sleeps with Luke's twin sister one evening, during a time where he is massively confused over his feelings for Luke, which are intertwined with his feelings of inadequacy in general, and his retained trauma. (Not a spoiler... we see this in the prologue). This one night results in Ethan becoming a teenage dad to Theo-- putting his dreams of a future on hold, and leaving his friendship with Luke in tatters. Luke, utterly heartbroken, takes off for Japan to play professional rugby- leaving his best friend and the love of his life, his sister, his parents and his entire childhood behind as he disappears to try and recover and heal.
Are we messy yet? Yeah. So messy. But.. also... so damn delicious, when 6 years later Luke is drafted to play rugby back in NZ, on the same team as Ethan. And he moves back to his hometown, with his hot boyfriend in tow, determined to convince himself Ethan has no effect on him any longer. And all of the drama ensues.
This story, like so many of Jax's others, has a "fated" feel running through the whole thing. These two were chemical from the moment they hit puberty. They have orbited around one another their whole lives, attracted to the other's presence since they can remember. They are one another's safe landings, and they are also incredibly intuitive-- the way they "read minds-" and the ultimate banter that ensues, essentially meaning they communicate in a language only they really understand- it is pretty obvious to the rest of the world that they are something magnetic, something special.
We have SO MUCH DRAMA to contend with in this juicy story. We have Luke's boyfriend, who moved to NZ from Japan to be with him. We have the fact that Ethan can be dense as a rock and takes FOREVER to figure out that his connection to Luke makes him something other than straight. We have the fact that the two play on the same professional rugby team.... and probably the biggest dramatic storyline- the fact that Ethan is Theo's dad, and Luke is Theo's uncle. And how does the twin sister Charlotte feel about all of this?! Hot damn, Jerry Springer. SIGN THEM UP.
But absolutely nothing could end up in their way, because there was no other option than these two ending up together. It was obvious to me from the very beginning- I said it earlier and I will say it again- Jax SLAYS when it comes to the fated romance/only you/it's only ever been you/you and me against the world kind of love. She writes this so perfectly, and these two are a shining example of that kind of romance.
"I'm not running away this time. I'm standing here, my heart broken and bleeding, and I'm telling you that I love you and I want you. No, I don't just want you. I want the me I am when I'm around you. I want us."
Absolutely swoony, exciting, chemical romance-- one of my very favorites of Jax's!!!!
June 29, 2022
I’ve quickly fallen for Jax Calder’s writing style and storytelling, ever since I read The Other Brother.
Playing for Keeps was a terrific addition to their list of works. This BFF to Lovers tale had it all: heartbreak, pining, hurt, love, laughs, steam, and a few twists and turns along the way. I can tell you this, you’re never bored. And you probably won’t want to put it down.
Both Ethan and Luke are super likable, and they’re both sweet and funny and struggling with their feelings for each other. They have an amazing connection and it’s evident to everyone that they are everything to the other. It’s just the pesky family complications that make them question their relationship. Thankfully we get a perfect (for them) ending that is funny and uplifting.
< ARC provided by GRR and this is my honest review >
Playing for Keeps was a terrific addition to their list of works. This BFF to Lovers tale had it all: heartbreak, pining, hurt, love, laughs, steam, and a few twists and turns along the way. I can tell you this, you’re never bored. And you probably won’t want to put it down.
Both Ethan and Luke are super likable, and they’re both sweet and funny and struggling with their feelings for each other. They have an amazing connection and it’s evident to everyone that they are everything to the other. It’s just the pesky family complications that make them question their relationship. Thankfully we get a perfect (for them) ending that is funny and uplifting.
< ARC provided by GRR and this is my honest review >
August 2, 2022
First of all can I say how much I've enjoyed this lady's past work, (I've been with her since the beginning) . This one, not so much. I really didn't like Ethan, I felt that he was made out to be the good guy when, in my mind, Luke had every right to do what he did. I so wanted Luke to stay with Jonathan, who obviously adored him. Very disappointed, so looked forward to this, just disliked the premise, also it didn't flow as well as her previous books.
August 18, 2022
I don't have much to say about this one sadly. It was fine. Nothing ground breaking and I liked the main characters but I didn't love them.
July 2, 2022
Playing for Keeps is a M/M rugby, best friends to lovers story that I couldn’t put down - I loved Luke and Ethan’s connection!
Ethan Lewis is a professional rugby player and a single dad to Theo. He’s a jokester above all else, always having a joke or story ready to go no matter what situation he finds himself in and a smile on his face. His childhood was less than stellar, so he finds himself giving his all to Theo to make his life more like his childhood best friend Luke’s was. Ethan and Luke lost contact after he and Luke’s twin sister Char got pregnant at 18 after one night together when Ethan had been missing Luke.
Luke Hunter is also a professional rugby player who is moving back to New Zealand to finally play for his home country and be closer to his family. After Ethan betrayed him 6 years ago, he left to play rugby in Japan and hasn’t been back until now. He finds himself on the same team with his former best friend, trying to navigate their messy remains of a friendship and also get to know his family again, including his 6-year-old nephew. Luke has always been in love with Ethan but was afraid to do anything about it when they were younger and now they face too many complications to make anything happen.
I really loved Ethan and Luke’s connection - they had so many years of friendship to fall back on and even when things were awkward between them, they still found a way to fall back into their old ways. They had the same sense of humor, shared inside jokes and knew each other inside and out - their love story felt inevitable. Obviously Ethan having a child with Luke’s twin sister threw a major wrench in their relationship and caused a divide between them and Char, but I think the way things ended as well as they possibly could considering the circumstances. Ethan and Luke were such a great couple, even when they weren’t officially together that them finally making things official just felt right.
I do have to say that I felt terrible for Jonathan, Luke’s boyfriend who moved from Japan with him, throughout this whole story - he really did deserve more than second place and I was so happy to read that Jax is expanding this series to give us Jonathan’s HEA! Can’t wait for more lovable rugby players!
Ethan Lewis is a professional rugby player and a single dad to Theo. He’s a jokester above all else, always having a joke or story ready to go no matter what situation he finds himself in and a smile on his face. His childhood was less than stellar, so he finds himself giving his all to Theo to make his life more like his childhood best friend Luke’s was. Ethan and Luke lost contact after he and Luke’s twin sister Char got pregnant at 18 after one night together when Ethan had been missing Luke.
Luke Hunter is also a professional rugby player who is moving back to New Zealand to finally play for his home country and be closer to his family. After Ethan betrayed him 6 years ago, he left to play rugby in Japan and hasn’t been back until now. He finds himself on the same team with his former best friend, trying to navigate their messy remains of a friendship and also get to know his family again, including his 6-year-old nephew. Luke has always been in love with Ethan but was afraid to do anything about it when they were younger and now they face too many complications to make anything happen.
I really loved Ethan and Luke’s connection - they had so many years of friendship to fall back on and even when things were awkward between them, they still found a way to fall back into their old ways. They had the same sense of humor, shared inside jokes and knew each other inside and out - their love story felt inevitable. Obviously Ethan having a child with Luke’s twin sister threw a major wrench in their relationship and caused a divide between them and Char, but I think the way things ended as well as they possibly could considering the circumstances. Ethan and Luke were such a great couple, even when they weren’t officially together that them finally making things official just felt right.
I do have to say that I felt terrible for Jonathan, Luke’s boyfriend who moved from Japan with him, throughout this whole story - he really did deserve more than second place and I was so happy to read that Jax is expanding this series to give us Jonathan’s HEA! Can’t wait for more lovable rugby players!
May 28, 2023
3.5 stars, but rounding down because I enjoyed it a smidge less than book 2. So here we have Ethan, a character we know from being on the Marauders rugby team, and his estranged former best friend Luke, who moves back to New Zealand to be on the same team. Luke has been carrying a torch for Ethan his whole life, but Ethan was oblivious and ended up fathering a child with Luke's sister - hence the estrangement. Not a spoiler - he explains this in book 2. Anyway, it's a best-friends-to-enemies-to-teammates-to-friends-again-to-lovers story. Written in Calder's easy-to-read and softly humorous style. Not super spicy. I enjoyed the romance between them, they felt like two halves of a whole. But there was quite a lot of family drama and domestic stuff that I could've done without. It became a bit of a soap opera in the end. Overall though, this has been a sweet and enjoyable series featuring a sport we don't really see often, recommended for sport romance fans.
July 7, 2022
Oh I'm sad..I am new to Jax..binged and loved all the shorts and the first 2 in this series but the editing in this book was bad or non existent??..don't know if she has a new editor but if she does, show them the door...I think the bones to a very good story is here it just needed to be told slightly differently...and it should have been shorter and take out the stuff that doesn't make sense like the whole sister gig...like there is no reason in the world they should care about the sister since it basically was a one night stand..just made zero sense..EDITING EDITING EDITING..However, I'm not giving up because I do love her writing style.... this one just wasn't for me...
July 6, 2022
3.5 stars rounding to 4
**I read an ARC copy before the update**
In love with your childhood best friend only to find out he slept with and impregnated your sister. What do you do? Run off to another country to lick your wounds for 6 years before finally coming back home and then having to face all that you’ve been avoiding.
This was my first Jax Calder book and I really did enjoy it even though what I’m about to write is going to make it seem like I didn’t at all. While I haven’t read the 2 previous books in the series (but I totally want to now) I wasn’t lost at all and would consider this a standalone. And from this book I will look into her previous works. It was sweet, it was kind, a little angsty and there’s a decent amount of steam.
The connection between Luke and Ethan is palpable, I felt it so much. Luke and Ethan love each other hard and when they’re in the same room no one else exists. Ethan’s corny dad jokes had me smiling and giggling throughout. Calder gets big points for peppering her book with so many! Ethan was a truly wonderful father and it was a great juxtaposition to Luke’s dad, despite Ethan holding him up as an example of what a good dad should be. This book stirred a lot of feelings within me, both good and bad and to me that makes it great because it’s one I could talk about for awhile.
Honestly at 18 I’d probably run away too if I had lived this situation. At first we think it’s just a case of gay guy in love with straight friend only to learn they’d been physical with each other for years! Ethan says he’d had feelings and wanted more and wanted to find the courage to ask for it, but I find that hard to believe when it didn’t seem exactly hard for him to turn around and fuck his sister when he was away, drunk or not. Not everything can be blamed on being young, drunk and stupid. I have a LOT of thoughts about Char and none of them are favourable but of course that’s how she’s been written. Ethan throws Luke’s leaving in his face more than once when things are difficult between them while Luke, IMHO, has the least to feel guilty about of all the adults (other than Jonathan) in this story, and leaving to live his life while taking care of his mental health is NOT one of them and I really don’t think he should have to apologize for that. Jonathan was a wonderfully mature man and would have had an excuse to be salty but he bowed out with his head held high, and even was able to eventually be friends with Luke. I was happy to see that he will be getting an HEA as he so deserves one.
What is Luke’s mother’s problem? Okay, we get it, you’re not happy your eighteen year old daughter got pregnant from the equivalent of a one night stand (even if it was by your son’s best friend). He stepped up from the moment he learned about the pregnancy and is an awesome father and is always respectful. It’s been 6 years lady, get over it already! And after hearing Char’s confession it’s worse that Char continues to let Ethan take the fall for all this hostility. The mother just seems determined to make every family outing as uncomfortable and awkward as possible. And the dad? Good god man, you do know you have TWO children right? There were definite times my 37 year old self fought hard to remember how I would have felt/behaved at 18 and then again at 24 and apply that thinking to their behaviour rather than my older thinking. Their behaviour probably really does match their ages. I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
**I read an ARC copy before the update**
In love with your childhood best friend only to find out he slept with and impregnated your sister. What do you do? Run off to another country to lick your wounds for 6 years before finally coming back home and then having to face all that you’ve been avoiding.
This was my first Jax Calder book and I really did enjoy it even though what I’m about to write is going to make it seem like I didn’t at all. While I haven’t read the 2 previous books in the series (but I totally want to now) I wasn’t lost at all and would consider this a standalone. And from this book I will look into her previous works. It was sweet, it was kind, a little angsty and there’s a decent amount of steam.
The connection between Luke and Ethan is palpable, I felt it so much. Luke and Ethan love each other hard and when they’re in the same room no one else exists. Ethan’s corny dad jokes had me smiling and giggling throughout. Calder gets big points for peppering her book with so many! Ethan was a truly wonderful father and it was a great juxtaposition to Luke’s dad, despite Ethan holding him up as an example of what a good dad should be. This book stirred a lot of feelings within me, both good and bad and to me that makes it great because it’s one I could talk about for awhile.
Honestly at 18 I’d probably run away too if I had lived this situation. At first we think it’s just a case of gay guy in love with straight friend only to learn they’d been physical with each other for years! Ethan says he’d had feelings and wanted more and wanted to find the courage to ask for it, but I find that hard to believe when it didn’t seem exactly hard for him to turn around and fuck his sister when he was away, drunk or not. Not everything can be blamed on being young, drunk and stupid. I have a LOT of thoughts about Char and none of them are favourable but of course that’s how she’s been written. Ethan throws Luke’s leaving in his face more than once when things are difficult between them while Luke, IMHO, has the least to feel guilty about of all the adults (other than Jonathan) in this story, and leaving to live his life while taking care of his mental health is NOT one of them and I really don’t think he should have to apologize for that. Jonathan was a wonderfully mature man and would have had an excuse to be salty but he bowed out with his head held high, and even was able to eventually be friends with Luke. I was happy to see that he will be getting an HEA as he so deserves one.
What is Luke’s mother’s problem? Okay, we get it, you’re not happy your eighteen year old daughter got pregnant from the equivalent of a one night stand (even if it was by your son’s best friend). He stepped up from the moment he learned about the pregnancy and is an awesome father and is always respectful. It’s been 6 years lady, get over it already! And after hearing Char’s confession it’s worse that Char continues to let Ethan take the fall for all this hostility. The mother just seems determined to make every family outing as uncomfortable and awkward as possible. And the dad? Good god man, you do know you have TWO children right? There were definite times my 37 year old self fought hard to remember how I would have felt/behaved at 18 and then again at 24 and apply that thinking to their behaviour rather than my older thinking. Their behaviour probably really does match their ages. I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 26, 2022
This is the third book in the Sporting Secrets series and I’ve read all three. The first two were 5/5 star reads for me! I didn’t love this one as much as the other 2, mostly because I just didn’t love Luke and Ethan as much as I loved the previous MCs. That being said, I still give it a 3.5/5 star rating because the writing is on point, the story was unique and engaging, and there were a lot of good parts to both of Luke and Ethan and the secondary characters.
Luke and Ethan have been best friends since childhood, with Luke realizing he is gay and in love with Ethan… that is until Ethan goes and gets Luke’s sister pregnant. That causes a break in their friendship where Luke moved away to escape his heartbreak. The story begins when Luke transfers to the same hometown rugby team as Ethan 6 years later. Accompanied by his serious boyfriend of 1 year, Jonathan.
Let’s start with Luke: Luke is nervous about facing Ethan again but feels he’s moved past his heartbreak and is ready to face him again, and wants to get to know his nephew, Theo. As he allows the friendship with Ethan to rekindle, his feelings do the same. Very likeable guy.
Ethan is a fun-loving prankster, always laughing and joking. He is an amazing father to Theo, and has missed his friendship with Luke all these years. I just had trouble getting past the part of the past where he slept with Luke’s sister. It is discussed and explained near the end, but still doesn’t absolve him from the horrible thing he did to his best friend. I found myself wanting Luke to stay with Jonathan instead of Ethan, which is not the way the story is leading. I will state though that there is no cheating in this story - the relationships are handled maturely. Go, Jonathan!
But after the relationship starts with Ethan and Luke, I was able to get on board with them being together. They really do have amazing chemistry that jumps off the page and truly love each other in every way possible. They try to do their best with the family complications that arise due to them wanting to be together, and that is a very well written part of the story!
I would recommend this series and book, and seriously look forward to Jonathan getting his moment in the next book! I am fully on board for that! I am a repeat Jax Calder reader and love many of her books and will continue to do so!.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Luke and Ethan have been best friends since childhood, with Luke realizing he is gay and in love with Ethan… that is until Ethan goes and gets Luke’s sister pregnant. That causes a break in their friendship where Luke moved away to escape his heartbreak. The story begins when Luke transfers to the same hometown rugby team as Ethan 6 years later. Accompanied by his serious boyfriend of 1 year, Jonathan.
Let’s start with Luke: Luke is nervous about facing Ethan again but feels he’s moved past his heartbreak and is ready to face him again, and wants to get to know his nephew, Theo. As he allows the friendship with Ethan to rekindle, his feelings do the same. Very likeable guy.
Ethan is a fun-loving prankster, always laughing and joking. He is an amazing father to Theo, and has missed his friendship with Luke all these years. I just had trouble getting past the part of the past where he slept with Luke’s sister. It is discussed and explained near the end, but still doesn’t absolve him from the horrible thing he did to his best friend. I found myself wanting Luke to stay with Jonathan instead of Ethan, which is not the way the story is leading. I will state though that there is no cheating in this story - the relationships are handled maturely. Go, Jonathan!
But after the relationship starts with Ethan and Luke, I was able to get on board with them being together. They really do have amazing chemistry that jumps off the page and truly love each other in every way possible. They try to do their best with the family complications that arise due to them wanting to be together, and that is a very well written part of the story!
I would recommend this series and book, and seriously look forward to Jonathan getting his moment in the next book! I am fully on board for that! I am a repeat Jax Calder reader and love many of her books and will continue to do so!.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
May 4, 2024
Another enjoyable instalment in the Sporting Secrets series, this one an angsty best-friends-to-lovers romance.
Luke and Ethan were practically inseparable until, at eighteen, Ethan revealed he'd had a drunken one-night-stand with Luke's sister, and had got her pregnant. Luke doesn't really understand exactly why he's so deeply hurt by this, but their friendship never recovers and not long after, Luke leaves New Zealand to go to play rugby in Japan while Ethan took a slot on their local team, the Marauders.
Six years later, Luke returns, an out, gay man, with a boyfriend in tow, sure he can handle being around Ethan after so many years apart. Pfft. After they get past an initial awkwardness, they quickly fall back into their old routine of joking around like there's nobody else in the room, finishing each other's sentences and seeming to read each other's minds.
The complicated family dymanic (with Luke being Ethan's son's uncle) makes for an angsy read and the author does a great job of articulating the longing and the tension between the two men. But the miscommunication goes on for too long and the momentum built up in the first part of the book dissipates in the second. I also wasn't wild about the portrayal of Luke's sister, Char, because while the author doesn't demonise her, she does end up kind of making Ethan the wronged party in the ONS, when Char confesses to seducing him (they were both drunk) because she was lonely and a bit jealous of his friendship with Luke. And then Ethan says that he slept with her because Luke was away (on a trip out of the country for a few weeks) and he saw Luke in her eyes, or something, which was a bit shit of him, frankly.
Those things aside though, I enjoyed the book - I hope the author does get around to writing Jonathan's (Luke's ex) story, because he's a decent guy who deserves an HEA.
Luke and Ethan were practically inseparable until, at eighteen, Ethan revealed he'd had a drunken one-night-stand with Luke's sister, and had got her pregnant. Luke doesn't really understand exactly why he's so deeply hurt by this, but their friendship never recovers and not long after, Luke leaves New Zealand to go to play rugby in Japan while Ethan took a slot on their local team, the Marauders.
Six years later, Luke returns, an out, gay man, with a boyfriend in tow, sure he can handle being around Ethan after so many years apart. Pfft. After they get past an initial awkwardness, they quickly fall back into their old routine of joking around like there's nobody else in the room, finishing each other's sentences and seeming to read each other's minds.
The complicated family dymanic (with Luke being Ethan's son's uncle) makes for an angsy read and the author does a great job of articulating the longing and the tension between the two men. But the miscommunication goes on for too long and the momentum built up in the first part of the book dissipates in the second. I also wasn't wild about the portrayal of Luke's sister, Char, because while the author doesn't demonise her, she does end up kind of making Ethan the wronged party in the ONS, when Char confesses to seducing him (they were both drunk) because she was lonely and a bit jealous of his friendship with Luke. And then Ethan says that he slept with her because Luke was away (on a trip out of the country for a few weeks) and he saw Luke in her eyes, or something, which was a bit shit of him, frankly.
Those things aside though, I enjoyed the book - I hope the author does get around to writing Jonathan's (Luke's ex) story, because he's a decent guy who deserves an HEA.
July 8, 2022
2.5 stars
this didn't work for me like the other books 🥲
this didn't work for me like the other books 🥲
Read
January 3, 2025Hmm, lots of mixed feelings on this one. Gonna let it marinate. RTC
December 23, 2022
DNF at 50%. Just … bored.
July 2, 2022
This fell flat for me. The first bit was super interesting, but by about 53% I was annoyed with both main characters. I'm sure the ending would have been super awesome, but I just couldn't get into to finish the book.
*I received an ARC from Hidden Gems. My review is my own.
*I received an ARC from Hidden Gems. My review is my own.
August 28, 2023
Honestly that was enough sports novels for awhile nevertheless I think another one is coming out in this series so I will probably read that and maybe all her other ones idk damn it
August 4, 2022
Really enjoyed the first 2 books but I wasn’t feeling this one and thought it dragged
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