Laila: Held for a Moment: A Memoir

by Leah Mele-Bazaz

Twenty-four, fresh out of college, and beginning a career in finance, the moment Leah Mele-Bazaz learned she was pregnant, she thought, I want this baby. Her boyfriend, Gautam, felt the same, and for the next six months, they were ready to move heaven and earth to welcome their daughter into the world.

Then the unthinkable happened. At twenty-six weeks gestation, they got the worst news, confirming Leah’s biggest fear: their daughter, Laila, had no detectable heartbeat. The news shattered her, upending her newlywed bliss and sending her into a downward spiral of depression from which she felt she would never recover. But amid this despair, she would find lights to guide her out of the darkness: Gautam’s support, her passion for running, and, above all, an unwavering love for Laila.

In this heart-wrenching memoir, Leah Mele-Bazaz shares her experience with the devastation of stillbirth. Her inspiring journey from loss and anguish to newfound hope and healing shows there’s a way to live when our children are no longer with us.

195 pages, Paperback

Published October 7, 2022

Reviews

[Emily Duffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a gripping memoir. I couldn’t put it down! Leah unfurls her experiences with vulnerability, grace, and compassion for herself and others who have gone through child loss. Her prose is poetic and attentive to pace. Highly recommend (make sure you have tissues on hand)!

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her preface, Leah offers her reader a kindness that life did not provide her: the forewarning that her baby daughter, Laila, would not survive. That's smart to set aside, because in the end, this is not a memoir about death. At once frank, wise, and compulsively readable, this is the specific story of how a nervous young mother renews her grip on life after her dreams come to a heart-breaking end, while at the same time evoking a story that all mothers will recognize: that tenuous walk between holding on and letting go.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredible. I’m blown away by how beautifully Leah writes about such difficult topics and experiences. It’s so real and even though it’s sad I think it’s so inspiring. Highly recommend reading this!!

[Alexa Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, heartbreaking topic but an important one. I have not read a memoir that has ever touched me as much as this has. It’s a must read!

[Kelly Pramberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trigger Warning! Reading stories about what other people have been through are powerful so I wanted to share:
“In this heart-wrenching memoir, Leah Mele-Bazaz shares her experience with the devastation of stillbirth. Her inspiring journey from loss and anguish to newfound hope and healing shows there's a way to live when our children are no longer with us.”

Finished this beautiful book and as I passed the Women Empowered calendar I have, I saw that tomorrow is WORLD PREGNANCY & INFANT LOSS REMEMBRANCE DAY. Sending much love to family and friends. ❤️

I am so happy to have been able to get the chance to read this brave book. Thank you NetGalley and thank you Leah for writing your heart out. It was beautiful to be able to read your words.

[MaryBeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this book down. Leah writes about a topic so rarely discussed for women and yet it’s so important to learn more about it whether you are someone who has gone through it to have the support or as a friend/family of someone who goes through this excruciating experience. I highly recommend this book.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a poignant & brave real life account from Leah Mele-Bazaz , in which she shares the heartbreaking story of her pregnancy and subsequent stillbirth of her baby girl. Such a sad read, but so courageously written. I am so sorry Leah for the devastating loss of your beautiful daughter.
Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and to Leah... for the chance to read this book, in exchange for my honest review.

[Lisa Lentz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m so glad I read this beautiful memoir about my friend Leah’s beloved daughter, Laila, who arrived to the world sleeping at just 26 weeks. In a beautifully detailed way, we get to know Leah and her husband’s life and love story, and along the way grow attached to them and their beloved Laila. This story is raw and doesn’t hold back anything, yet is written with care and grace. Though heartbreaking, this story leaves the reader feeling full of love and hope.

[Gaby Gosciniak · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful book that tells a story of loss and healing with bravery and openness. I loved reading about how family, friends and running helped the author find her path. A great read!!

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

LAILA: HELD FOR A MOMENT tells a story of heartbreaking loss and unending love. Leah Mele-Bazaz's devotion to her daughter shines through in this moving memoir about the intersection between grief and motherhood. A must-read!

I connected to this book so much. Read it, read it, read it!

[Toby Dorr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leah’s memoir Laila Held for a Moment is such an essential and vital story to share. At the age of 24, I also lost a newborn daughter and have struggled with Emily’s loss my entire life. Losing a baby becomes a secret, something mothers long to share but refrain from doing so because it makes everyone else feel bad. Leah brings this grief into the open, writing “my world stopped. A void was created… The halt of the momentum. The stillness. The empty space.” We all feel a kinship in that unexpected jealousy when encountering a pregnant woman or a healthy baby. Thank you, Leah, for bringing this most private, intense loss into the open, and encouraging other Loss Mothers to do the same. Perhaps Emily and Laila are friends. I like to think so.

Toby Dorr, women’s advocate, and best-selling author Living with Conviction: Unexpected Sisterhood, Healing, and Redemption in the Wake of Life-Altering Choices.

[Shianne Gundersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A raw and honest memoir. As a bereaved parent, there are so many things here I related to. I don't typically highlight my Kindle reads, but this book now has an abundance of highlights that resonated so deeply I couldn't not mark them for remembrance.

[Jonathan Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mother lost a child at just 11 months old prior to my birth. Although I knew little of my older brother, the repercussions of his early death permeated our family, especially when it came to my parents' overprotection of me. This memoir is deeply personal, with the author sparing the reader no area of her psyche's trauma, the ongoing guilt and anguish that follows such great anticipation, and the ongoing healing process. For anyone suffering the pain of such a tragic loss, allow your healing to begin with Laila: Held for a Moment.

[Allie Byott · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very sad memoir written by Leah and telling her story of her loss of her much wanted child and how she coped after the loss of her daughter Laila at 26 weeks gestation. This book was very moving and I was gripped and couldn’t stop reading until I finished it in one go. I would highly recommend this book. Leah I am very sorry for your loss. Your strength and resilience was shining through throughout this book. You are one remarkable lady.
Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the chance to read this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Emelia Perry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing!!! Leah opened up her experience to us, even those very personal and vulnerable parts, so that we can all feel connected and realize how strong we can be. I cried a lot and really made me think about life, but there were parts of true happiness and joy in the book too. I highly recommend this book, whether or not you have gone through some tough time in your life!

[Abby Pagano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first memoir I’ve read in years and it was utterly captivating. Right from the start you can feel the strength and love through Leah’s writing. She takes this incredibly personal topic and beautifully writes about her struggles and growth with no sugar coating. Even though the synopsis and title clues you into what will come, you can’t help but feel joy and love during those first chapters…that is how engrossing Leah’s writing is. It’s raw and real. It’s heart wrenching and vulnerable. Leah writes about grief without holding back which is so important, for not only a personal healing process, but also to help others in a similar situation feel seen. There are so many little details that stick with you in this story but overall there is one blinding truth - while Laila was only held for a moment, she will be loved forever by so many. I highly recommend this brave and heartbreaking memoir, a beautiful ode to Laila.

[Jakarta · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good I read it all in one night. I literally could not put it down. I love the family history that Leah incorporates with a healthy dose of insight into her relationship. We follow her through her journey as a mother for the first time given the worst of circumstances and how she perseveres step by step, jog by jog, marathon by marathon. Amidst the darkness there's even specks of humor that Leah gives us to cut the bitterness of how unfair and random life can be. I would recommend this book not only for the obvious mothers going through the grieving process but also those who want to read about relationships, maybe even learn a little bit about Moana and running. Five stars.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Captivating, emotional, beautifully written. Leah bravely brought the story of Laila to life here. Best memoir I’ve read in ages.

[Zoe Kahn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written book about the authors journey through grief, loss and finding her way back. I could not put this down and easily made its way to the top of my ‘Must Reads’. Leah’s incredible writing, vulnerability and strength make this an unforgettable story. Highly recommend, you will not be disappointed!

[Jen Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leah’s beautiful and heartbreaking account of one of the hardest things a mother can go through is phenomenal and courageous. Leah and Laila’s story will be one that stays with you forever and makes you appreciate what you have as well as what you’ve lost. Well done Leah ❤️

[Moriah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible book and such a good story about love and loss and relationships. Leah is so strong and her voice is very powerful. A must read!

[Caroline Gambone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I became a labor and delivery RN this past April of 2022 and I am so thankful that I read this book before experiencing intrauterine fetal demises. I have now went through a couple and I have used Leah's words to help guide me through the situation. The one mother had her first baby in the bathroom at 18 weeks and I just made sure to keep reiterating to her that she was still a mother and she still had a body that just had a baby. I just wanted her to know that she still experienced labor and birthed a baby and needed to treat her body as such. Another mother delivered twins where one twin had died in the womb weeks earlier. Everything that touched the deceased baby I made sure to put aside in the memory box because I remembered how Leah wrote about holding Laila's memory box so dear and close. I did my hardest to trace the baby's hands and feet because I knew how important Laila's prints were to Leah and still are. I just want to say thank you to Leah from the bottom of my heart because her words have made me a better and more compassionate nurse in an otherwise impossible situation.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry. It’s a beautiful and honest memoir that details all of the complexities that come with a devastating loss- love, grief, pain, despair, healing, resilience, joy, and hope. Leah and I met several years ago through the local running community in Philadelphia, and her journey with running as part of her grief process was particularly resonant. My own running journey started as a form of trying to run from (pun intended) crushing mental health issues, and it ultimately ended up being extremely healing for me as well. This is a poignant book that should not be missed.

[Jaime · Rating 5 out of 5]

LAILA: Held for a Moment had me in tears. The author's honest account of infant loss struck a chord with me as a mother and reminded me of how complicated parenthood is. She shows the complex feelings associated with pregnancy, and how life-changing a pregnancy is, particularly if it ends with the loss of a child. Her strength and vulnerability are evident throughout her personal story and resonated with me long after I finished reading.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

SAD

Both the story and the writing. Technically inept for someone with an MFA in writing. Sloppy sentence structure, poor word choices, some simply wrong. Paris has endless macaROONS? Where was the editor?