Killing Comparison: Reject the Lie You Aren't Good Enough and Live Confident in Who God Made You to Be

by Nona Jones

It's time to leave behind the discontent of comparative thinking and discover a free and joyful life in the security of God’s love.

If you find yourself filled with feelings of insecurity, sure that others are better off or more worthy than you are…then you’re in good company! In today’s image-driven world, nearly all of us deal with the struggles of comparison and self-worth.

Nona Jones knows this mindset all too well. Throughout her life and in her recent career as an executive for the world's largest social media company, Nona discovered how true confidence can only be achieved by defeating comparative thinking and securing our identity to God's approval alone.

Join Pastor Nona Jones as she provides a fresh, biblically rooted perspective on the age-old human habit of comparing oneself to others. Killing Comparison will give you the tools you need

Determine your true source of self-worth.Develop practical ways to conquer daily comparison.Learn how to control social media instead of letting it control you.Discover how to accomplish your dreams without comparing yourself at every turn.Through practical insight and down-to-earth encouragement, Nona helps you avoid the despair of comparison and pursue a life inspired by the one who made us in his image.

Genres: Christian, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Faith, Personal Growth

251 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 27, 2022

About the author

Nona Jones is considered a global thought-leader at the intersection of faith and technology and has also served as a voice of hope and healing to victims of trauma due to her own history as a survivor of physical and sexual abuse. Her highly anticipated books are equipping church leaders and individuals to harness their potential toward realizing their purpose.

Reviews

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I really enjoyed the first half of this book. The first few chapters were so relatable and I got a lot out of them. I loved the overall message of the book. The last half wasn’t quite as good for me, but I think the book as a whole was good.

Audio book source: Audible
Story Rating: 3.5 stars
Narrators: Piper Jones
Narration Rating: 4 stars
Genre: Non-fiction
Length: 6h 35m

[Steph Carr (LiteraryHypeWoman) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pretty much everyone needs to read this book. Yes, it comes from a perspective of faith, but the truths are universal. Nona explores the toxic ways we compare ourselves to others, both on social media and off of it, and how we can reframe situations to avoid tearing ourselves down when others succeed.

[Nicky · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great reminder of how other people's successes do not diminish the blessings you've been given in life. Although some parts felt a bit cringe, the overall message was good and I appreciated her vulnerability with sharing some of the pain she's gone through in life.

[Poetic Diva504 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I would recommend to everyone pursuing some type of success. Everybody has their own lane. Focus ahead, you’ll lose your sense of direction when you’re overly focused on what other people are doing. Embrace your reality as it is, and be grateful for all you have. Those were the biggest takeaways from this book.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I work hard, and frequently fail, at not comparing myself to others. This book was an inspiration on how to better tackle those feelings of inadequacy, and recognizing we all feel that way.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thankful that this was like. A real-life book and not a feel-good self-help book quoting and re-quoting Psalm 139.

Total score: 5/5 stars

[Calvonia Radford · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever suffered from imposter syndrome or poor self-esteem, if your response to other's success is why not me, this book is for you. Nona shares her struggle with toxic comparison in this book. But she doesnt leave us there. She gives us a roadmap to freedom.

[Samantha Balentyne · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me way too long to read this book. The content that I could relate to was good! The amount of scripture and bible summary that was in it was a majority of the book though and it was so hard to stay focused some chapters. Overall a decent book though.

[Selina Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actual rating 4.5

I think every Christian should read this book (or non-Christian; but Christianity is very central to the framing). If you know you struggle with bad comparison, grab this book! If you think you don't struggle with comparison but know you struggle with envy, jealousy, gossip, judgmental thoughts, feelings of unworthiness or valuelessness or being unwanted or left out, dissatisfication/discontent, anger or resentment when people succeed, or getting off of social media feeling self-loathing but you're not sure why, I gently posit that you struggle with toxic comparison and could benefit from this book.

I found this book touching, enlightening, encouraging, challenging, and convicting. There's actionable steps without it feeling too workbook-y (IDK why; I hate workbooks 😅) and lots of great insights. Jones' vulnerability in relating her own often embarassing struggles with comparison and self-worth were frequently relatable and lent added weight to the encouragement she had to share.

There are some things I'd quibble with. Toward the beginning, Jones says we're all "perfect as we are" and uses an anology of an artist thinking every piece they make is perfect. First, I'm unsure she knows any artists 😅 and no art or person is perfect. However, Jones definitely isn't pro-denying-things-you-need-to-work-on. I think her point was more about like...we're unique & have value & differences aren't inherently bad. The blue vase isn't uglier than the green one, it's just a different color. I think it was maybe poorly phrased. So if you're turned off by "you're perfect as you are!" talk, know she isn't saying "you have no flaws or problems." 😛 She also a couple times sort of falls into what can sound like "you don't have to be jealous because secretly their life is terrible!" that could have been said with more nuance and clarity that it's "everyone is human and life is always complex" in a way that de-pedestalizes and combats thinking "if I had X I'd have no problems", rather than shoves down others. Later she talks about celebrating & praying for others's success.

This book gave me a lot to think about, and it's definitely I'll revisit and work to implement the ideas of in my own life more. At its core, it's about how comparison points out that you've tied your worth to an insecure foundation, so we need to tie our selfworth to a secure foundation--what God says about us. I highly recommend it.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very useful book for reminding myself that I am a unique person who needs to value myself on my own merits, instead of comparing how I am lacking compared to other people. I would definitely read this again in the future when I need a mental health boost. I appreciated the stories the author shared about people (including herself) who have struggled with always comparing themselves to other people, even when they already had so many good things going for them!

Some quotes I wrote down so that I can refer back to them later:
"Commit to being for others what you wish others would be for you."
"You need to unfollow anyone and everyone who makes you question your worth."
"Arrogant people are not assured of their intrinsic worthiness or value apart from what they achieve. This is why they share the most intimate details about their lives and achievements in hopes of impressing others."
"I believe that those who are most humble are those who have a high view of themselves because of who God has enabled them to be."
"Humility is fully occupying the lane of life that God has placed you in. In other words, humility is being so consumed with putting your unique capabilities to use in your current assignment that you have neither the time nor the energy to be concerned about anyone else's journey."
"What do you believe about yourself that is making another person's success or achievement poisonous to you?"
"Instead of succumbing to sadness or fear or bitterness, what if you gave yourself a courage infusion? Speak words of encouragement when you feel depleted, anxious, worthless, and hopeless."

[Heather Bowman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some great points in it. I love how Nona was very honest about her struggles with comparison. We need more of that honesty in the world today. You can learn a lot by reading this book; I found it very helpful. There are some great applicable tips. I wish I could do half stars because I don't think this books deserves just a 3, but it's not quite a 4. It's like a 3.8. In an effort to relate to the reader, Nona describes countless decisions that a woman might be facing. Not necessarily a bad thing at all, but I had already been able to discern the point, so I felt it was a little too much. Also, I did struggle with how much she talked about her achievements. Not that I was jealous of her achievements, I am not really competing with her nor are we in the same circles. I just felt like it was a lot of talking about what she had accomplished. I think it was an effort to show if someone was not going to fall into the comparison trap, it would be her. It did make me reflect on how much I fall into the trap myself and I noted some things I need to become more aware of. And really, that is the purpose. I grew as a person as a result of reading this book and that is pretty amazing. Even if it wasn't exactly written the way I needed to hear the message, it still landed. I would definitely add this to your list of good reads.

[BookishBlackGirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is for anyone who feels like they have been struggling to transition into the place you KNOW God has called you too but you haven’t because you have dealing with the oppressive spirit of comparison.
.
As I have been journeying through this book, so many feelings have come up and I have had to offer myself many moments of grace, comfort and space to :
•reflect
.
•grieve words that were spoken to me that somehow made me insignificant
.
• forgive myself for betraying my own values by doing things to feel significant
.
•remind myself of that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that I am who God says I am!! Point blank period!!!!
..
I’m only half way through this book but it’s been so freeing this far!! Let’s stop allowing the thoughts, actions, social media posts, follower counts etc to overshadow the word and the promises that have been given to you!!
.
Stay focused on your grass and what you need to do to maintain it!! He will give you what you need to flourish fully into your OWN purpose…🖤🌱

[Heather Fishel · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was so much I loved about this book! So many good biblical insights and so much encouragement. I love a good self help book that doesn’t claim you will have it all figured out at the end, just pushes you in the right direction and gives you many ideas to keep in the back of your head when you run into the same problem again. I especially loved the praying for your “competitors” or those you may be jealous of. Praying the prayer of Jabez over THEM. What a great example of loving someone the way God does. As always there were a few things I didn’t agree with and times I felt like Nona wanted us to know all of her accomplishments (I was like we get it, you are successful and still struggle with insecurity, stop repeating your resume!) I would give this 4.5 stars if I had that option. Would recommend.

[Stephanie Kelly Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book!

I truly appreciate Nora Jones' transparency throughout this wonderful book. I believe the Lord led me to her YouVersion devotion and this book to hear her powerful testimonies.

I'm working to dismantle all the things I thought made me worthy of value in the eyes of man and unlearning what I deem as valuable whether its academic pursuits, career achievements and beauty standards.

While it's been incredibly eye opening and humbling, it also gives me such liberty because I'm learning that I no longer have to feel the heaviness of not feeling as if I don't measure up anymore. I'm qualified because God loves and values me and my existence is enough 🤎🙏🏾

I hope those who read this book are encouraged to keep fighting the good fight of faith 💪🏾

[Jessie Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

You think you don’t need to read this book? You do! You think you need to read this book? You do! I love the authors transparency. She says what a lot of people feel/think but are unwilling to say or can’t say. Tons of great stuff in here. It helped shaped the big picture. I did think it lacked a little bit of practical application. For example, she says “releasing the expectation of recognition kills comparison in our hearts.” But I wanted to ask “how do I release the expectation of recognition?” The big concepts were great but some of the smaller secondary how to’s were glossed over a little too much. Wish there was more.
I still loved the book. It’s a book I want to own a hard copy of. Write in it. Journal in it.

[Mavi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book it was super encouraging. I realized that I had a lot of comparison issues but this book brought a lot to light. It taught me how I viewed comparison and nail those lies to the cross. What I loved most about this book was the truth that she shared her personal story and it was relatable. I loved her perspective on the story if David and Jonathan. The Word of God changes our perspective of ourselves because of the way God sees us. He loves us and we don’t have to compare ourselves to anyone because he made us uniquely. I think that gave me a lot of courage to continue to search my heart and allow God to work in me, and through me. Such a fantastic book and I highly recommend it!

[Amanda Pascoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate Nona Jones so much. I have been following her for several years now through several platforms. Her dedication to serving others by fully sharing her deepest wounds endearing her to her audience through her written or spoken words. This book is no exception.

One recurring thread throughout the book was social media's influence on personal insecurity- what great timing for this discussion. Nora's experience at Facebook gives her an extra edge in presenting this subject.

While my personal insecurities are not the same as Nora's, her narratives, Scripture examples, and advice for moving forward drew me in in the same way her sermons, podcast and books always do. Thoughts for reflection and prayers are applicable to all versions of insecurities.

[Imani Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook. This book was perfect for my current stage of life. I have always battled with negative/toxic comparison and would be proud of my accomplishments until I saw someone doing something “more” than me. This book reminded me, with helpful Biblical references and examples, that God gave each of us our own assignment and if our assignment is to impact 100 people vs 1M people, then so be it. Do it well and be grateful God entrusted you with that assignment. Nona also shares helpful ways to combat negative comparison (I didn’t know positive comparisons were a thing!). We have to identify the root of the insecurity that leads to the comparison. I have already actively used some of Nona’s methods and it gives me a sense of peace. This book really blessed me!

[Erin Kelley-Garrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! This book helps readers get to the root of their insecurity and then gives them the tools to rewire their reactions and toxic thoughts. It challenged me to respond to insecurity with Godly intentions. I started reading this after seeing Nona on Sadie Robertson-Huff's podcast "Whoa That's Good" and I am glad I did! She writes exactly how she speaks: relatable, God fearing, and Kingdom driven.

If you are looking for a self help book that feels a lot like a friend speaking life into the truths of your life and dismantling lies of the enemy-check this out! You won't regret it and I bet you'll find the butt dissolving story as funny as I did!

[Kiwanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Self Awareness

I wasn't sure if this book was right for me when I started. To be sure, I don't have any insecurities that need to be pointed out or addressed. I'm FINE! Then I started and the mirror got bigger and bigger. I appreciate her vulnerability in this work. She lays out specific examples of insecurity and points out a few mannerisms and internal dialogues regarding toxic comparisons of my own. While I did find in some places I briefly lost interest, the author managed to throw a nugget in the loop that got my attention and allowed me to refocus. I would recommend it to others.

[Zara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't think I had much insecurity but now I can see how it pervades my life so much clearer its impact. This is one to keep on your shelf!

Essentially we all deal with the issue of toxic comparison at different times in life and to differing degrees. "You can't fix what you don't admit is broken" (Perhaps paraphrased). The examples she gives were pretty good at helping you to identify some of your own triggers and the reflection points were great for considering how it impacts your life and how to bring it to God. Of course, it is from a Christian perspective so expect lots of bible verses and encouragement in that regard. May have to re-read this ever so often to check myself.

[Tiara Lashae · Rating 3 out of 5]

Killing Comparison had some strong moments—it gave me emotional highs and introspective lows—but overall, it felt like something was missing. There were parts that really spoke to me and challenged my thinking, but others felt a bit surface-level or repetitive. I appreciated the heart behind the message, but I was hoping for a deeper dive or more personal connection throughout.

It’s not a bad read by any means—just didn’t hit as hard as I wanted it to. A struggle 3 stars from me. Worth checking out if you’re new to faith-based self-help or looking for a gentle introduction to breaking free from comparison.

[Jasmine Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore Nona Jones and this book! It really helps reframe my thoughts—especially as an overthinker and as a young woman who has struggled with knowing her worth. One quote I keep on my phone is something God spoke to her: “When you aren't secured to the stable foundation of who I say you are, you drift with the shifting current of others' opinions about you.”

This is an amazing Christian book that covers relatable topics and hurts, reminding us that God created us on purpose, with purpose. She addresses career setbacks, friendship struggles, and relationship hurts, and I think this is one of the few self-help books that can truly make a difference.

[Unathi · Rating 5 out of 5]

life changing

Open, honest, transparent, encouraging, entertaining, but (see what I did there Nona😂) most of all this book brought a message of overcoming. I loved reading it and it is worth all the time spent on it. Thank you for being brave enough to release it, it is as necessary a work as preaching the gospel. As a daughter and sister, it is important to me that we have godly women that help us to not suffer or struggle in silence. I love you and your whole family.❤️

[Elisha Bronner · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this book Nona helps us identify the insecure foundations we are standing on which lead to insecurity, and how to stand on the firm foundation of God’s Word & who He says we are. Her personal stories and vulnerability about her walk through killing comparison remind the reader that we are not alone and never "arrive". This is a book we can all come back to whenever comparison arises in our lives.
*3 stars because I was hoping for a “deeper” read. It’s a good book and resource nonetheless.

[P. Bright · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nona’s book is not your average self help or Christian motivational guide. Her writing is clear and concise. Her advice about overcoming pain and trauma is relatable and practical. Most importantly, her experiences with pain and Christ meeting her in the middle of her pain gives hope. My takeaway from this book: He is doesn’t show favoritism. The same God who met Nona in her time of pain is the same God who is able to meet anyone in their pain and provide healing.

[Rochelle Shelton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprisingly a very good book

I love the fact that it made me see myself in a new way. I did not realize that I had all those resentments in me. I knew that I always looked to the way others lived and did not even considered that this was God talking to me by telling me to hold on things will get better and the did. Thanks Nona Jones for this Great Uplifting book. You continue to be an inspiration to us all

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not gonna lie, in over a year I never finished the hard copy book (because I never have time to read hard copy books). I eventually forced myself to finish it audio but ended up zoning out for like the last hour. I wanted the book to be helpful but sometimes nonfiction is hard to listen to, especially when it’s intangible stuff like this, so I had a hard time getting the content to stick with me. It’s a bummer because I do need the message/truths of this book preached to me on a regular basis.

[Akeylah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Killing Comparison has been incredibly helpful in recognizing and breaking free from my own cycles of comparison. This is definitely a book I’ll refer back to and read again. I love how Nona Jones weaves together her personal stories, scriptures, and prayers to convey such an important and timely message. Her approach feels both practical and spiritually uplifting, making it a valuable resource for anyone struggling with self-worth or comparison. Highly recommend!

[Connie F5.0 · Rating 5 out of 5]

DOPE! Killing Comparisons by Nona Jones explores the dangers of comparison, especially in the age of social media. Drawing from her own experiences, Jones highlights how comparison can undermine self-worth and spiritual growth.

The book features practical insights and actionable steps, encouraging readers to focus on their unique paths and celebrate individuality. Through relatable anecdotes and biblical references, Jones fosters a healthier mindset and emphasizes authenticity.

Overall, “Killing Comparisons” is a powerful reminder to find contentment in our own journeys, making it a valuable read for those struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I highly recommend this book.