Was initially really positively surprised that this book is more philosophy than self help but got increasingly annoyed with is.
Did really enjoy the bits of philosophy initially which were set out really clearly and accessibly, and did make me think. But the link of the philosophy bits applied to her observations of people she encountered was very simplistic, judgemental and often unkind. Sometimes, she also falls into the "everything was better before" conservativism that is careful to never define "before" too clearly, and she can sound a bit conspiracy adjacent when talking about the media.
For my taste, there's way too much critical observation of others and just smugness instead of critical self reflection.
The connection between money, work and "the good life" is discussed at length and she describes other people's material circumstances and what choices they make on the back of them but at no point specifies her own. How is it possible for her to jet around the world completely disconnected and without a plan for years, move to Paris on a whim with two small children to study fashion, then "enrol the girls into an alternative preschool" in Barcelona while not working and later open a bookshop that is not intended to actually sell anything (venture that includes paying multiple employees and buying twelve tonnes of tea, books, french antiques and paintings)? Nothing wrong with any of this but left me asking "you judge other people for both their trust funds and pursuit of money, but how do YOU afford this lifestyle?". Kept reading until the end to see if there would be an answer but just more puzzled. For a book that is centred around her own journey and has "pursuing money is not all that" as maybe the key message, I think it's quite a significant omission.
The book finishes by her saying that 'flourishing' is "a personal journey that doesn't require other people's approval" but disapproving so vehemently of other people's 'personal journeys' (or the ones that she projects onto them) for an entire book isn't really bringing that point home.
Extra highlights:
- judging people for buying overpriced organic groceries whilst shopping in exactly the same shop
- berating an immigrant cab driver for reading business books and planning to build a property empire instead of looking out the window, enjoying the scenery and living in the moment like she is during her cab ride
- casually comparing influencers to arms dealers
- lengthy unfavourable description of people who move to Byron Bay and what they're like without acknowledging that the author and her partner have done exactly the same thing
- meaningless similes e.g. "At the end of the day, fame and wealth are illusions. On the other hand, a rock, stripped of its context, is still a rock."
- being what sounds like at the very least very chaotic employers, not sure how much "tenacity" should really be required to work in a shop that's not planning to sell anything ("There's only one staff member, Jess, who has the tenancity to stay on.")
- making endless assumptions about people's values, life choices, inner lives, priorities etc. purely on superficial observations or conversations that last mere seconds. E.g. within the same three-ish pages, judging one person for not maintaining their mansion enough ("But why is it in such disarray? Owning such a grand house, surely one would wake every day committed to the art of maintaining it?") and another one for doing just that. Particular shout-out to this lady with the nice front garden who told her that the kids birthday party was next door and gets absolutely slated for it ("While her 'success' yells from the front lawn, she is notably silent. Had she used this wealth to take up lessons in oration, or cordon bleu cooking, or the manufacture of plastic boat-sized poodles to decorate her lawn, how much more she could have offered to her neighbours on the street.") a) hard disagree on the plastic poodles and oration, and b) leave this lady alone, you've literally had a two-word interaction and she told you what you needed to know. You know absolutely nothing about her and how she spends her time, and none of it is any of your business!!
- making no explicit connection whatsoever between her search for the perfect home/desire to own land and any of her narrative around how bad our pursuit of consumerism and ownership is