Będę tobą

by Janelle Brown

Błyskotliwa mieszanka powieści obyczajowej, psychologicznej i rozpalonego kalifornijskim słońcem thrillera.

Sam jest trzeźwa od roku, to znaczy odkąd ostatni raz rozmawiała ze swoją bliźniaczką Elli. W dzieciństwie były praktycznie nierozłączne, ale kiedy odkryło je Hollywood i stały się nastoletnimi gwiazdami telewizji, ich niezwykła więź pękła. Ostatecznie Elli wybrała spokojne życie żony prawnika, a Sam spróbowała kariery dorosłej aktorki – tylko po to, by popaść w uzależnienie od narkotyków i alkoholu.

Jednak pewnego dnia Elli nagle znika, zostawiając pod opieką Sam dopiero co adoptowaną córeczkę. Trop wiedzie do podejrzanej organizacji coachingowej, na której czele stoi tajemnicza dr Cindy... Żeby dowiedzieć się, co stało się z siostrą, Sam będzie musiała zagrać swoją ostatnią, być może najważniejszą rolę – przyjąć tożsamość zaginionej Elli. W ich poplątanym życiu robiła to już wiele razy i zwykle z katastrofalnym skutkiem. Ale tym razem stawka jest nieporównanie wyższa...

W swojej najnowszej powieści Janelle Brown, autorka doskonałej Oszustki, znów balansuje na granicy thrillera i pełnej suspensu powieści obyczajowej w stylu Wielkich kłamstewek. Tym razem na celownik bierze dziecięcy show-biznes, toksyczną kulturę wellness i siostrzaną więź, która może nadawać życiu sens albo je zniszczyć.

Genres: Thriller, Mystery, Fiction, Mystery Thriller, Audiobook, Suspense, Adult

440 pages, Paperback

First published April 26, 2022

About the author

Welcome to my home on Goodreads.

A little about me: I'm the New York Times bestselling author of the novels PRETTY THINGS, WATCH ME DISAPPEAR, ALL WE EVER WANTED WAS EVERYTHING, THIS IS WHERE WE LIVE, I'LL BE YOU and the upcoming WHAT KIND OF PARADISE. My books have been New York Times bestsellers and published in a dozen countries around the world. My books tend to be page-turners with dysfunctional family relationships at their hearts; domestic dramas crossed with literary suspense. I'm also very much a California writer, and my books are set across the state.

I'm always happy to answer questions here, but you can also find me on Instagram and Twitter -- and if you visit http://www.janellebrown.com you can also sign up for my newsletter.

I've known I wanted to be a novelist ever since I was in first grade, when my teacher looked at the whimsical little books I liked to make (and the pile of books I checked out of the school library every week) and said that I could be an author when I grew up. I took her suggestion to heart.

It took me several decades to get to novel-writing, though. I first started off as an essayist and journalist, writing for Wired and Salon in San Francisco, during the dotcom boom years. In the 1990’s, I was also the editor and co-founder of Maxi, an irreverent (and now, long-gone) women's pop culture magazine. My writing has also appeared in Vogue, The New York Times, Elle, Wired, Self, The Los Angeles Times, and numerous other publications.

I've spent the fifteen years working on my novels, writing the occasional essay, and living in Los Angeles with my husband and two children.

Reviews

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two pods in a pea, shared minds, feelings, deep sisterhood connection! The book shook my entire my world more than I imagined! We hear Sam and Ellie’s story: two struggling souls, two have it all lost it all women who are estranged and tries too hard find their places in the world individually.
Those two girls; shared the same womb, identical faces, same family, same child star glorious fame which crumbles into pieces… They chose different methods to deal with their life after recognition and fame: Sam chose drugs to numb her pain and Ellie chose domestic life, a regular job at flower shop, trying to conceive a child to form her own family.

Sam tries to gather her crumbling life, working at a coffee shop, attending AA meetings, missing her estranged twin she’s parted ways because of a big fight which caused damaging wounds in their relationship that would never heal.

But a phone call she gets from her father telling her her reasonable, responsible ( perfect twin ) sister is gone AWOL almost a week, not answering her phone which is strange! Her sister seems having a perfect life with real estate lawyer Chuck, a story Spanish- Revival house just blocks away Santa Barbara Beach as Sam lives in near empty Hollywood studio apartment, sleeping on a futon, serving coffees to make her ends meet.

What happened to her perfect sister? Actually, she’s divorced and she seems like adopted a two years old girl called Charlotte! Now her mother needs help to take care of her till her sister returns back! Some many things happened throughout the time they stopped talking.

She returns back to family house located in Santa Barbara. Turning back and facing her parents open up old wounds from her past: we move backwards to see more about childhood dynamics of sisters: Sam always wants to be an actress and shining in front of the camera as Ellie is reluctant and looking forward to have a normal teenage life. But the show they acted for Nickelodeon TV brings more fame they can handle. The sisters start switching places to deceive the producers so Ellie can have her normal life back and Sam can shine more! But that means Sam is also under more pressure and she needs more edibles to ease the tension. That’s how the sisters start drifting apart.

In the present time Sam tries to reach to her sister but Ellie doesn’t return her messages. Her investigation at her empty house makes her suspect that her sister just joined a cult which prevents her to connect with outside world.

Sam is so adamant to find the traces of the place where her sister is held but this also means she has to find out her sister’s traumatic secrets which will haunt their lives forever!

This is such a great mystery, thought provoking, sentimental, effective, riveting psychological thriller about sisterhood, turmoil of sudden fame, addiction, self recovery, self discovery, grief, estrangement, denial, manipulation.

Both sisters’ POVs are perfectly told. It was so easy to understand both of them’s perspectives and relate with their brokenness, predicaments, their sides of story.

This is the first time a powerful mystery story also made me cry because the emotional depth of the characters are reflected outstandingly!

I think this already became my favorite book of the author which earned tearful, sad, realistic, striking, heartfelt five stars!

Special thanks to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for sharing this amazing digital reviewer copy with me in exchange my honest thoughts.

[Whitney Erwin · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars rounded to 3.

This book was just all around weird! I don’t know a better way to describe it. It wasn’t a horrible book but I personally just didn’t love the storyline at all. The whole cult thing was just not interesting to me. It felt way too far fetched and borderline creepy. I would categorize this book more as a family drama than thriller and mystery. Definitely didn’t get any thriller vibes from this book. I enjoyed the authors previous book, Pretty Things, so I thought I would really like this one too but it was not for me.

Thank you Net Galley and Random House Publishing Group for an ARC in return for my honest review.

[Holly B · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 STARS

My first by the author and now I'm a fan!

Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Kate Rudd
Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
Unabridged Audiobook
Release date: 04-26-22

Meet Sam and Elli, identical twinsies that take two different paths in their lives. The good and evil twin syndrome. Sam is the sister who doesn't live up to her parents expectations. Her mom is very judgemental towards her and Sam usually ends up needing a drink. I have to say, she could drive anyone to drinking! Ellie is a suburban wife and has a floral shop. She is the sweet one.

Is she a really good sister or does she make really bad decisions?

This was a gripping, character-driven novel (rather than a thriller). The narration made it hard to put down. I thought the pace was just right, had a twist that caught me by surprise, and I was invested in the mess of a pickle the sisters found themselves in. Also, I was head over heels in love with the little two-year old, Charlotte and she added plenty of smiles.

There is also a frightening, can't look away, cult/spa trope woven into the story. How far would you go for a sister? This is more than just another twin story!

[JanB · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

First off, let me be clear that I consider 3.5 stars to be a good rating.

This is a family domestic drama featuring identical twin sisters who are now grown but were once child stars. Elli is the easy-going sister, while Sam has a harder edge, is estranged from the family, and is in recovery from addictions.

Elli disappears and their mother calls Sam for help taking care of Elli’s young daughter, Charlotte. The daughter Sam knew nothing about. Clearly there are issues in this family!

As Sam cares for Charlotte, she tries to puzzle together where Elli is, and the story alternates between the present and past memories of the strong twin bond she shared with her sister, and the revelation of what tore them apart.

I’m not sure why twin stories are having a moment, but as a Nana to 3 yr old identical twin granddaughters I’m tiring of twins depicted as damaged and the good twin/bad twin trope.

I rounded down to 3 stars because the GenFem cult side story didn’t appeal to me, I wanted a bit more momentum in the middle of the book, and the ending was a bit too pat.

The narrators of the audio included my favorite, Julia Whelan, who always delivers a stellar performance and kept me listening even during the slow parts.

Please note both Amazon and Edelweiss list this under women’s fiction/domestic suspense fiction, which is accurate. It is not a thriller.

Still, although it had a few issues I didn’t care for, I recommend it for fans of the genre.

[Ceecee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elli and Sam Logan are identical twins, two halves of a hole, peas in a pod and a “you be me and I’ll be you“ scenario. Growing up as child stars they frequently interchanged roles but things move on and alter. As grown-ups it’s a case of a sensible one versus the wild, the perfect child and the messed up and now their lives are separate, splintered and fractured as they haven’t spoken in over a year. Why? When Sam gets a phone call to say Elli is missing she has to step up and help her parents to look after two year old Charlotte. Where is Elli? What answers has she been looking for? Sam plays detective as well as babysitter for Charlotte.

The first half works well as this is from Sam‘s point of view and back tracks to growing up and we get to understand the triggers between them and how their relationship turns sour. I like her, she feels real and you understand her issues. In the second half the narration switches to Elli and this part drags for me and there’s some unnecessary repetition. Once we learn where Elli is we enter into weird “cult territory“ the novel take some bizarre turns in my opinion. The GenFem retreat/cult is awful, there’s too much information and this doesn’t gel for me. Some of the dialogue here is dreadful and makes me wince it seems so inauthentic. The book is far too long with a pace that chops and changes, at times it’s very slow and I nearly nod off.

The novel is in the mystery/thriller category and yes to a degree there is a mystery but I can’t describe this as a thriller as there is little suspense, although there is some tension. The Charlotte storyline is hard to buy into and requires much suspension of disbelief. The ending is too abrupt and neat, it’s resolved with way too much ease.

Overall, I think the twin thing has now had its chips as it’s been a much flaunted theme of late. The point of view of Sam is good and if the book hadn’t changed narrator I might have enjoyed this more. I looked forward to this and I honestly expected more.

With thanks to NetGalley and especially to Orion for their much appreciated arc in return for an honest review.

[Kaceey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Elli and Sam are identical twins. As children they were thrust into the world of Hollywood, sharing roles in various children's-themed T.V. shows. Sam was right at home being in front of the camera, while Ellie…not so much. Over time, being a loving sister, Sam assumed Elli’s roles as well. And no one was the wiser.🤫 Thus began the tale “I’ll Be You.”

Growing into adulthood, the sisters eventually drift apart. Sam’s life imploding, as Ellie seemingly settles into marriage and motherhood.

After Elli leaves for a weekend and doesn’t return Sam knows instinctually that something is wrong. Oddly, no one else around them seems to take notice. Is Ellie simply taking a break from her mundane life? Or is her disappearance something far more ominous?

A thoroughly engaging read. I was a bit hesitant going in as I’ve read numerous “twin” themed books lately. But from the first page it felt different and I was immediately swept away by the storyline and the superb writing talent of Janelle Brown. Definitely looking forward to more from this author. Luckily for me I have two of her previous books sitting on my shelf just waiting for me!

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gripping story with great characters. I enjoy stories that deal with twins and was intrigued by the description for the book. It didn't let me down and kept me interested from start to finish with a ending I didn't see coming.

I'm really looking forward to reading more from this author.

[Jayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even before I started listening to "I'll Be You", the book had three strikes against it:

1). "I'll Be You" is a book about twin sisters and I am very over the twin trope. Did I really want to read ANOTHER book about twins?

2). "I'll Be You" is also a book about cults. True confession: I am even less interested in reading ANOTHER book about cults than I am in reading ANOTHER book about twins.

3). Janelle Brown’s “Pretty Things” is one of my very, very, very favorite books (yes, it was that good!) and since many of my trusted, go-to authors have let me down in 2022, I was wary that Janelle Brown was going to do the same. The GR reviews for "I'll Be You" were all over the place so I adjusted my expectations accordingly.

In spite of those three strikes, Janelle Brown completely wowed me.

Janelle Brown excels in penning fast-paced compelling storylines showcasing deeply flawed characters with dysfunctional families and if this is what you’re seeking, you will not be disappointed.

Fortunately, “I’ll Be You” is not just a book about twins and cults.

Instead, it’s a book about the bond between two sisters, family dynamics, substance abuse, and the perils of being cast as a child star.

It’s also about vulnerabilities — and how cults and scammers prey on one’s innermost vulnerabilities.

Told from the two POVs of two former-child- star identical twin sisters, the book is unputdownable from beginning to end.

My one criticism of the book was I felt that the ending was too neat and borderline implausible.

I listened to the full-cast audiobook. A shout-out to narrator Julia Whelan for an Academy Award performance.

And a special shout-out, too, to Janelle Brown for being one of my go-to authors who delivered an ultra-intriguing read this year.

4.5 stars rounded up.

[Brandice · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ll Be You is a suspense story but not a traditional thriller, about 2 grown identical twins, Sam and Ellie. Growing up, they were child actresses and inseparable. They began to drift apart in high school as Sam wanted to continue pursuing acting and Ellie wanted a more normal life. Their paths diverged and while they remained in contact, one booze filled evening of Sam’s actions finally tore them apart.

Now, Sam’s parents call to request her help to watch Charlotte, the niece she wasn’t even aware of — Ellie asked their parents to watch her while she goes to a “retreat” to find herself, after a very recent split from her husband.

Sam is skeptical regarding Ellie’s whereabouts — This is unlike her. Sam’s parents are skeptical of Sam too, doubting her sobriety after years of struggling with addiction. They grow frustrated with her as she begins trying to play detective, instead of focusing on care for Charlotte — Where is Ellie? What’s really going on? Can Sam figure this out?

I’ll Be You is told from dual perspectives of both sisters. I listened to the audiobook, narrated by Julia Whelan and Kate Rudd. I didn’t find Sam or Ellie or their mom particularly likable — Listening to this story, I kept changing my mind about who seemed the worst in the family.

I’ve enjoyed each of Janelle Brown’s books, including this one, but Pretty Things, by far, remains my favorite — 3.5 stars for I’ll Be You

[chantalsbookstuff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fast paced and twisty. Really entertaining with a story revolving around identical twins. Liked it!

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and well-written book that was nothing like what I expected.

The book centers on Sam and Elli, twins who spent a lot of pivotal moments in their lives pretending to be eachother (hence the title). I’m an only child and I always wanted to have a twin, so this book about the special relationship between a pair of twins was intriguing to me.

The girls start out as child actresses very much in the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen wheelhouse, both playing part of the role of a single child on a popular television show. One twin, Elli, is introverted and does not really like acting that much. But Sam loves being in the spotlight, and starts secretly taking over her twin’s half of the work.

I wouldn’t say this book is really a mystery or a thriller. More of a literary family drama type tale. But I really enjoyed it. The way Janelle Brown writes really draws me in. Her characters were intriguing and had well-articulated backstories and motivations.

There’s a big plot about a cult in this book. Do be forewarned of this if books on cults aren’t your thing. The cult depicted here is basically a weird pseudo-feminist cult. I was worried about this at first (in my view, feminism ain’t a cult and also btw most cult leaders IRL tend to be sexist dudes gathering harems) but ultimately I enjoyed it. It was done well and was unique and, at times, pretty funny. I think there were more than a few Ayn Rand jokes, which I appreciated.

All in all a quirky, deep, interesting and satisfying read by an author to watch. Four stars. Thanks to Random House, NetGalley, and the author for this interesting read.

[JaymeO · Rating 4 out of 5]

Double Trouble!

Despite the misleading promotion of this book as a thriller, I’ll Be You shines in the domestic suspense genre. It is a fictitious story about identical twins Ellie and Sam, whose lives have taken a dark turn after their moment in the spotlight as child actors.

Sam is a recovering addict, attempting to get her life back on track after hitting rock bottom. Although she is the twin who loved acting, she found herself introduced to pills and alcohol at a young age.

Ellie never enjoyed acting and fled from Hollywood as soon as possible. However, she is now dealing with infertility and it is putting a huge strain on her marriage.

When Sam receives a call from her mother that she must come take care of her adopted niece while her sister is away, she is shocked. She had been estranged from Ellie after a misunderstanding led to a falling out. Who is baby Charlotte?

When Ellie doesn’t return home, Sam plays amateur sleuth in order to figure out where she went and to bring her home.

I listened to the audiobook which is read by Julia Whelan and Kate Rudd. This is a very easy book to follow in this format. As always, Julia Whelan’s narration is fabulous, but I didn’t enjoy Kate Rudd quite as much. Both sections are painfully slow unless the playback is sped up significantly.

Janelle Brown does a thorough job discussing the psychology behind growing up as a twin as well as how and why people are lured into joining cults. It is obvious that she has done her research into these subjects.

I am pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed this book as much as I did because it is a bit of a slow burn and contains very few twists, two elements that generally cause me to lose interest. However, I found the twin dynamic insightful, the child acting informative, and the cult aspect authentic.

This is the second book I have read by Brown, and it will not be the last!

Trigger warnings: alcoholism, drug abuse, cults

3.75/5 stars rounded up

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've already said it - I'm a bit over the twin trope, so I think this book had a strike against it from the beginning; but this wasn't the typical twin plotline, which was a good thing. That being said, I still didn't love it though and ultimately I think it's because, rather like Pretty Things, it's not really a thriller - it's more of a contemporary/women's fiction with not a lot of action.

Identical twin sisters, Elli and Sam, are “discovered” at 9 years old and are tween/teen stars. One twin, Sam, loves the spotlight, while the other twin, Elli, hates it. They both quickly learn though that Hollywood loves twins - only when they're young - and their star quickly fizzles out. Fast forward to present day, and the twins are in their 30’s. Elli still lives close to her parents, has a seemingly perfect marriage and has recently adopted a little girl, Charlotte; while Sam has moved away, is a recovering addict and has very little contact with Elli. When Elli's marriage falls apart, she decides she needs a “break” and goes to a mysterious retreat, leaving little Charlotte with her parents. Sam's mother calls her to come home and help her with Charlotte for the weekend. When Elli doesn't return after the weekend, Sam sets her mind to stay at home and figure out what is really going on with the retreat, despite the strain it puts on her sobriety being around her family and triggers once again.

It's a slow-burn tale of cults, addiction, and family told through a dual timeline - in the past when the twins were stars and the present - with alternating POVs between the sisters. I was all in for the first part of the book, which was told from Sam's POV, but once the POV switched to Elli, I lost interest. I actually found myself skimming through much of the last half of the book. I also didn't love the cult aspect - I thought there was an overabundance of information about it, which made my eyes glaze over and the idea of some pseudo-feminist cult with women with shaved heads was all rather illogical. Then to top things off, the storyline involving Charlotte bordered on outlandish. The thought process and words of the 2-year old were way beyond what a toddler would say and do, especially one who had been adopted only four months before the story begins! 🙄 It was also very easy to see where that storyline was headed and to make it feel believable at all requires some pretty big leaps of faith. And the ending - oh my. First things get really weird, and then things resolve a bit too neatly for my taste.

Overall, there's just nothing shocking or thrilling in this book, and it could have definitely used a hundred or so less pages. Honestly, the more I write about it, the more I realize I really didn't like it that much at all. 🤷‍♀️ 3 stars.

[Theresa Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars rounded up. Identical twin sisters Ellie and Sam had careers as child actors until their teen years, when Ellie wanted out. Sam loved the attention, so much that she would sometimes pretend to be Ellie because child actors can only be on set for so many hours. They were so good at pretending to be each other that they could even fool their parents.

Now as adults, Ellie has become a suburban wife and, now that she adopted a two-year-old, she’s the mother she always wanted to be. Sam got addicted to pills by her makeup artist when she was 13, and of course, until one sobers up, addiction only leads one way. Sam is finally clean, but her stints in and out of rehab and her endless downward spiral took a toll on her relationship with her sister. Now, Ellie seems to have disappeared, and their aging mother needs help caring for the rambunctious two-year-old Charlotte.

Though Sam is only called in to be a babysitter, she knows something is wrong. Ellie wouldn’t just abandoned her child for a never-ending spa trip.

This is told from both sister’s points of view. I had a really hard time reading Ellie’s side of things. At least Sam has been working on her issues and knows what they are. Ellie just makes all sorts of terrible decisions.

This is gripping. I liked both characters despite their poor life choices.

Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to review this novel, which RELEASES APRIL 26, 2022.

[Kristy · Rating 3 out of 5]

As children, identical twin sisters Sam and Elli were child actors who spent nearly all their time together. Sam loved acting and spending nearly every moment with her sister. But Elli was a reluctant actress and longed for more space and privacy. After acting, Elli dedicated herself to being the perfect wife and dreamed of being the perfect mother as well. Sam never recovered from losing acting, bouncing from one job to the next, struggling with addiction. She's shocked when her parents call her, telling her that Elli has disappeared to a strange spa, leaving her newly adopted young daughter, Charlotte, with their parents. Sam goes to help her parents with Charlotte and tries to figure out what's happened with Elli. As she pieces things together, she wonders if Elli has joined a cult and if her decisions will threaten them all.

This was sort of a strange book. Please note that a 3-star rating doesn't mean I did not like it; I just didn't love it. I admit I had hoped for more based on the author's previous book, and I found this to be less of a mystery and more a character-driven story, though there are certainly twists and plot pieces to figure out as the story moves along.

The focus here is basically entirely on Sam and Elli. The book is told from both their perspectives, and I felt myself drawn more to Sam, despite all her issues (she has many, including addiction to various substances and the ability to abandon and betray all who love her). Yet Elli seems more brittle and when the book shifts to her point of view, it seems almost jarring.

YOU is filled with thoughts on twins, sisterhood, and reflections on self. It's a very thoughtful and reflective tale, even with the central theme of Elli's whereabouts at its core. There are a few surprises thrown in, but if you go into this one expecting more of an exploration of sisters and their relationship, you'll enjoy it more. 3 stars.

I received a copy of this book from Random House Publishing Group and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.

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[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Identical twins Sam and Elli have been inseparable since birth. They took pleasure in pretending to be each other, doing so numerous times. Dubbed the “new Olsen sisters”, they rose to fame in their early teens doing tv shows and the occasional movie. As the girls grew older Elli decided that she wanted out of the Hollywood life, pursuing college, and later a family. Sam on the other hand couldn’t get enough if the glitz and glamor. However, her solo career didn’t last long. She crashed and burned reveling in the night life, drugs, and alcohol. Think Lindsay Lohan circa 2007. A few huge mistakes and an unforgivable fight later, Elli and Sam stop speaking. A phone call from their father to Sam would change everything.

Sam learns her seemingly perfect sister adopted a two year old girl named Charlotte, and that her husband left her. Her father asks her to come home to look after Charlotte until Elli returns from her spa trip. Sam struggles taking care of the toddler and as the days pass with no contact from her sister, she begins to think something is wrong.

Her hunch takes her down a rabbit hole leading to a compound where women follow strict rules in order to better themselves. The deeper she digs into this organization, the clearer it is that place is a cult and her sister is in trouble. Will Sam be able to free her sister and ultimately mend their broken bond?

I enjoyed this book. Told in alternating time lines as well as the point of view of each sister, you truly understand that they are not simply twins but they are individuals. A few good plot twists didn’t hurt either.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this arc.

[Rachel the Page-Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Twins are so interesting, and this story turned out to be just as good as I was hoping, if not better. The only problem with this book is that I can’t reveal much about the major plot themes without spoiling anything … this book is full of good twists!

Elli and Sam are identical twins, child actors who have now fallen out - fallen out of the limelight, and fallen out with each other. Elli is the “good” twin; she gave up acting, got married and runs a posh decorating company. Sam is the “bad” twin; she stayed in Hollywood and went down the typical child actor road of drug and alcohol abuse. I don’t like to think of them as good or bad though, because they both seem to be good humans who happened to make mistakes in life.

After years of Elli paying for multiple rehab stints and supporting Sam, and after one her sister’s drunken ideas backfired horribly, the girls who shared a womb haven’t spoken in over a year. One day, Sam gets a call from her parents, begging for help. Elli has gone on a wellness retreat but she hasn’t returned and they can’t reach her, and they need help watching her child. This throws Sam for a loop, and not just because she knows nothing about babies.

Why is her always-dependable sister gone, and wait, WHAT? She has a child now? When did this happen? Where is her husband, why can’t he take care of the baby? And why does her mother want her help, when she’s a recovering addict who nobody trusts?

Sam agrees to go meet her niece, but soon realizes just how far apart she and her twin have grown. So much has happened in the past year, and as her sister remains missing, she starts trying to find out what is going on. Exactly what is this “wellness retreat”? Why has Elli left her child for so long? There are so many questions in this book, but you’ll get the answers eventually … and they’re good.

This is obviously a thriller, but it also had the element of child fame and how it can go one of two ways. You’ll see those ways evolve when the two women take very different paths in life. There are a few mysteries along the way, the ending was done well and overall, I really enjoyed this one. 4.5 stars for a book I highly recommend!

(Thank you to Random House, Janelle Brown, and
NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.)

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5 (rounded up)

I loved Pretty Things when I read it, so I was dying to read I'll Be You and felt like I had to wait forever until it came out. Janelle Brown sure can write because I loved this even more than I loved Pretty Things! It is a slower burn that is broken up into parts, with the majority of the story being told from Sam's viewpoint but with Elli's eventually as well. It was really hard to watch Sam's destructive personality, and even harder to read the part where we find out what drove the wedge between her and her twin Elli. There is definitely a mysterious element to the story, but overall, it felt a bit more like women's lit/family drama to me. I was a little nervous about the potential cult aspect to the book because they are really hit or miss for me, as well as apparently being quite popular right now since I have read quite a few with cult storylines lately. Luckily, it worked out very well here, and it was a bit of a different take than I have read recently.

The dysfunctional family storyline is real in I'll Be You, and I loved how Brown crafted both seriously flawed and realistic characters. I also loved that we got to learn about the sisters' lives when they were younger and then see how differently they turned out as adults. There were quite a few moments that broke my heart, and it ended up being a pretty emotional story. I also gasped out loud a couple of times and while I wouldn't say the twists were all THAT surprising for most readers, they sure were for me. Also, a huge shoutout to the audiobook for I'll Be You which is narrated by 2 of my favorites, Julia Whelan & Kate Rudd. Whelan was also a narrator for Pretty Things and I was really excited to see her on the audio for this book as well. Both Whelan and Rudd did an outstanding job, and I highly recommend listening to this one. I can't wait to see whatever is next for this author, but she is definitely an autobuy for me 100%.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a lot of fun and I had trouble putting it down. Centered on identical twins Sam and Elli, it goes back and forth between when they were teenagers and current time. Sam and Elli are currently estranged until their dad calls Sam and asks her to help out with Elli's daughter that Sam didn't even know she had. Turns out Elli went away on what she said was a spa retreat and hasn't returned, causing concern to her family. The flashbacks did a great job of building out the characters and giving the reader a backstory that explains their current relationship and actions.

Both characters were flawed and believable, though I connected with Sam more than Elli. The book managed to move at a fast pace while also really getting inside the character's heads, which was really well done. It was sad at parts, and I was frustrated with the characters at other parts, but it was engaging throughout. My only small nit was that it all seemed to be tied up just a little too tidily at the end- it verged on unrealistic.

All in all, I enjoyed the book and would definitely read more books by this author. I'd recommend it to those who enjoy psychological thrillers and mysteries. Thanks to Netgalley for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Dutchie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Middle of road for me…

Sam and Elli (twins)are former child stars who each have taken a different path after stardom. Elli has a stable home, husband and floral business while Sam is still in the Hollywood partying scene and a recovering substance abuser. Randomly one day Sam, who has been estranged from her family, receives a call from her mother that she needs help taking care of Charlotte, Elli’s two year old child that Sam had no idea she had while Elli is at a “spa”.

What was to be a weekend turns into way longer and the question becomes where did Elli really go?

Part 1 had me intrigued….I hit the last paragraph of part one and my jaw dropped…all told from Sam’s pov. Flipped page to then switch gear to Elli….I was so disappointed. That cliffhanger was awesome but to switch gears irritated me. Part 2 was more about Elli and the spa she went to….aka cult. 😾

While this was a really fast read and held my attention I really only enjoyed the first part of the book. As I’ve said in other reviews cults aren’t my thing but shame on me for continuing to pick them up 🤷‍♀️ with all of that said it was a quick read but more a family drama

[Fiona Knight · Rating 4 out of 5]

Twin sisters, both beautiful, talented, and smart, once close enough that the edges of each of them felt blurry and overlapping with the other, but with adult lives so far diverged they haven’t talked in a year.

Once child actors, Sam loved the spotlight, but too much, and it left her a recovering addict, broke, and alone; Elli walked away from their childhood fame and established a calm and stable life for herself, frequently called on to help Sam out of another mess or into another rehab. But when Elli goes missing – solid, dependable, Elli – Sam suddenly finds herself called on to help the niece she never knew she had, and the sister she’s let down over and over again.

At first it’s clear Sam is floundering, as she’s never needed to be dependable, always either being rescued by her family or keeping them at a safe arm’s distance. As she searches for clues about her sister’s disappearance to a mysterious desert retreat with the ominously obscure FemGen, though, she starts to actually find that’s not just trying – she’s capable when she tries. As we follow her hunt, we’re also shown stories from the childhood she shared with Elli, moments that explain their relationship and how their estrangement began. The tension builds naturally but steadily, and when we start to get an idea of the whole picture, it’s clear there’s a whole lot more going on than first appeared.

I’ll Be You took me by surprise, in a good way – there’s a lot of thrillers in the world, but this novel deservedly stands out in a crowded genre. Janelle Brown is a talented author, and she wrote with sensitivity and authenticity about a sibling dynamic that brings new meaning to the word complicated. Sam was a likeable and, more importantly, believable mix of guilt, impulsivity and caring, while Elli was entirely distinct but just as complex and genuine. While tense and high-stakes, the action at the center of the novel felt plausible but original – it was a mix of excellent characters, a beautifully twisty and intriguing plot, and an author who knows how to keep her readers glued to the page. What’s not to love?

[Heather~ Nature.books.and.coffee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was more of a literary fiction and thriller combined, with plenty of surprises. Identical twins Elli and Sam were actors throughout their childhood. When they were teens, their lives took a different path. Elli got married, and lives in a home by the beach. Sam started taking pills and drinking. They haven't spoken to each other since sam's behavior tore them apart. Sam gets a call from her father. She finds out Ellis life wasn't as great as it appeared. Her husband has left, and then just adopted a little girl. Elli has checked into a mysterious spa, and is now not answering her phone. Sam is trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and find out where her sister is. What Sam does and finds out, will change their lives. There is much more to these twins relationship.

This one is told in past and present, and alternates between the two sisters. Wow this one was so good guys. I enjoyed this story, and reading about these 2 sisters relationship with eachother. felt it was emotional and realistic. There are tough issues covered such as addiction, recovery, cults, and grief to name a few. Definitely worth a read.

Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the gifted copy! All opinions are my own

[Nevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Waw! I am on a five star streak lately. I am loving it!! 🥰

This is my first book from Janelle Brown. Honestly she blew me away. Her writing style is very clean and consistent. Her character development was slow, steady and was well executed. The story itself was fun to follow. I kept wondering what would happen next?

The two main characters were quite likeable which has been my biggest problem in my previous books.

The ending was predictable but I tremendously enjoyed it anyway.

Over all well worth my time and energy.
I would highly recommend it!

Enjoy 🍷

[Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have just read I'll Be You by Janelle Brown.

This story starts off with two young girls, identical twins, who are discovered one day on a beach and land acting jobs in a tv series.

Sam and Elli and quite different in many ways though. One gets into many problems over the years, with addictions and the other has what appears to be a very happy life, married with a lovely house and career.

Along the way there are many twists and turns in the story, and a great deal of analysis as well..

It is a book that is gripping, although not my usual choice as it really has quite a chick-flick feel to it, with a huge amount of drama, counselling, and issues.

However, I did enjoy it, as the twists kept me engaged

Thank You to NetGalley, Author Janelle Brown and Random House Publishing Group for my advanced copy to read and review.
#IllBeYou #NetGalley

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just because they are identical twins doesn't mean they have identical lives or that they have separate secrets. Sam and Elli are identical twins who spent their years from childhood to teens, in the theater as actresses. Now they are grown, and they have also grown apart. Elli has a husband and a career as a florist, living an upper-middle-class life. Sam hasn't fared as well. She is in a spiral of addiction that's taking a downhill slide.... but she is now one year sober. It's a year in which she hasn’t spoken with Elli. Then she gets a call from their parents...saying that Elli has gone away to some type of spa and are now asking Sam to help them with the little girl Elli adopted. When Sam arrives, she finds everything slightly topsy-turvy. Elli is nowhere to be found... their mother is in denial...and to add to all the turmoil, Sam finds some worrying paperwork at Elli’s house. Just exactly what is this organization that Elli’s been giving large sums of money to? I have never read anything by this author, but she has done a fantastic job of weaving together all these loose strands into a solid work of intrigue and suspense that is almost impossible to put down. Sam is the voice in the first part of the story, which alternates between the present and the twins’ childhood days of fame in the past. Elli gives voice the second part, and while their accounts sound very similar, the author explores their individual psychologies...their very different interests...needs...motivations, as well as their feelings about their early careers. The only thing I really thought was a bit hard to follow and occasionally got bogged down was the twins’ backstory...and that is the only reason that it received 4.5 stars instead of 5. I read it in a day because it became an imperative to find out how it would all end.

[Chelsea | thrillerbookbabe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was lucky to be able to read I’ll Be You for my book club thanks to PRH Audio. This book was about twin actors who grew apart as adults. Sam and Elli went through a lot as children, and now Elli is missing, leaving her daughter behind. Elli is the perfect wife and homemaker, while Sam has struggled with substance abuse after her failed career. She feels drawn to find Elli and when she finds out she has checked into a mysterious spa, she is worried, especially when she stops answering her phone. As she looks more into her sister’s life, she realizes there is something much deeper and darker going on.

Thoughts: This was a cult book, so of course I loved that aspect. The most interesting part of this story though, was the previous life of Sam and Elli as child stars. It was so interesting hearing about their story, especially because they are twins. HOWEVER, this book is suspense at best, definitely NOT a thriller. It is well written and interesting, but there isn’t anything thrilling about it.

I listened to the audiobook which was SO well narrated and kept my attention so well. The book is a slow burn, but it was still intriguing. I wish there was more of the cult aspect in this book, because they did draw parallels to Synanon and NXIVM but didn’t go into it enough to make it a thriller. The psychology related to twins was very interesting, and I think that is a unique part of this book. It was slow but interesting- 3.5 stars.

[Elizabeth of Silver's Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Secrets, lies, bad decisions, and unbelievable surprises - what else could go on between the identical twins Sam and Ellie.

Sam and Ellie were childhood movie stars, but even though identical, they were completely different. Sam loved being a child star, but Ellie didn't.

As adults Ellie was the responsible one and Sam was still struggling and recovering from drug and alcohol abuse.

The day Sam got a phone call from her parents to come home and help them watch Ellie’s daughter Charlotte, the secrets and surprises unravel. When did Ellie have a child?

I’LL BE YOU takes the reader back and forth in time explaining the lives of the twins as children and present day. Be aware that alcoholism, cults, control, abuse, and manipulation are part of this book.

I enjoyed the present-day chapters the best, but the background chapters were needed to understand present day.

I also went back and forth with liking the book and then not liking it. As the surprises became revealed, I leaned more toward liking it, but still wavered until the end even though it was a creative story line.

This book is filled with family drama along with some unlawful and tense situations and decisions.

The ending is very tense, and the cult business was frightening and upsetting. 4/5

This book was given to me by the publisher via NetGalley for an honest review.

[Katrina Vallett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second book I have read by this author and I continue to be impressed with her work. She creates such deep and realistic characters that you begin to feel like you know them personally.

Sam was my favorite twin. She was honest with herself, flawed and funny. Despite messing her life up as a teen/ early adult, like so many child stars (and regular people to be fair), she was not beyond redemption and I kept rooting for her to get/keep herself together. Especially because this time, it's her sister that seems to be in danger and Sam is the only one who sees it. Maybe it's twin intuition... maybe their mom is turning the same blind eye as always. But Elli has come to Sam's rescue so many times, and now she needs help.

Sam has to navigate though a world she hasn't been a part of for a long time, interpret her sister's cryptic text and find out if she does in fact need saving. No problem right? Did I mention her mom asked her to take of her niece too? A niece she only now heard about.

This was fun and enjoyable. I would have loved a little more from the ending. I would also classify this as more mystery than thriller.

Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for the advanced review copy! I devoured this in 2 days!

[Mallory · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took me a bit to get into and then I didn’t love the second part very much at all, but then I am not a big fan of reading about people stuck in cults. Ellie and Sam are twins who get discovered in child hood since they can play the same part and work twice as long as other children actors. Sam loves everything about acting, but Ellie seems to be fading away and one day Sam has an idea “I’ll be you” and this starts her on a path with Adderall and ending in addiction. Ellie has always been the good twin, but her marriage falls apart and she goes on a retreat leaving her adopted daughter with their parents but when she doesn’t return when she said she would she texts her parents to invite Sam to help even though they haven’t talked in over a year. Sam is about to learn that maybe there isn’t a good and a bad twin and they both have their secrets.

[Kyra Leseberg (Roots & Reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Identical twins Sam and Elli are former child stars who have grown apart through the years. Elli is a florist living close to the beach with her lawyer husband. Sam is a recovering addict still hoping for a Hollywood career. The sisters haven’t spoken in over a year when Sam receives a call from her mom that Elli is taking an extended rest at a spa in Ojai and requesting a visit from Sam to help care for Elli’s adopted two-year-old daughter. Sam is stunned to learn about the adoption as well as her sister’s recent marital woes.

Sam arrives to help care for her niece while navigating sober living, an awkward relationship with her parents (most of all her mom), and concern for her sister who has failed to call and check on her daughter. As Sam looks into Elli’s life in the days leading up to her disappearance, she also considers the past, giving readers insight into their childhood and family dynamic, and Elli’s investigation soon becomes a rescue mission as shocking secrets unfold.

While the relationships should be the focus of this story, I honestly felt like the over the top storyline overshadowed them and I didn’t become as invested as most readers (based on other early reviews I read after finishing the book myself). I’m a huge fan of Janelle Brown’s storytelling, this one just didn’t have the impact of her previous books for me.

Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest review. I’ll Be You is scheduled for release on April 26, 2022.

For more reviews, visit www.rootsandreads.wordpress.com