Dear Writer, You're Doing It Wrong

QuitBooks for Writers #3

by Becca Syme

These titles just keep getting better and better, don't they? You Need to Quit, You're in Burnout, You've Got Writer's Block... does Becca just hate people and want us all to feel bad about ourselves?
Oh, no, dear writer... oh, no. Contraire mon-frere, as they say.
This book is the product of work with thousands of writers on what truly holds us back from the success that we want to have. There is one thing nearly all writers have in common when it comes to success road
How we handle doing it wrong.
Inside this book, I outline the most common ways we either get it wrong or get it right and why those things might be happening. The goal here is to share some of the patterns I see when coaching writers, and to hopefully help when your inner voice is worried you're doing it wrong.
Join me, in these pages, for a little journey through your mind...
- Becca

Genres: Nonfiction, Writing, Crafts

234 pages, Paperback

Published June 22, 2022

About the author

Becca Syme holds a master’s degree in transformational leadership and has been a success coach (primarily utilizing the Gallup Strengthsfinder®) for almost fifteen years. She’s coached 4,700+ individual authors and creatives through her Write Better-Faster and Strengths for Writers classes & coaching cohorts: six- and seven-figure authors, major award winners, midlisters, and new authors alike. Becca is the host of the YouTube QuitCast channel and a mystery author. She lives in the mountains of Montana.

Reviews

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's now a decade since self-publishing really hit its stride and edged out of its despised "vanity press" image into something that began to look like respectability. Indie publishing (as it prefers to be called) is now a massive industry made up not just of authors but of services of all kinds.

This industry has created its own best practices, and as Becca Syme points out is now shifting (or has shifted) from the Wild West of its early days into its Reconstruction era. I love the idea of Reconstruction; the big battles are over but there are some pretty important things going on under the surface, and while we might not miss some of the early stuff (more than one Civil War!) in some ways it's kind of sad that we can't go back to the free and easy days when you could throw an ebook up and expect to attract readers. It's getting a whole lot harder to break in and/or move up in this industry now, and that's leading to some fairly bonkers strategies such as writing a book a month.

So this book is the one where Becca challenges those received notions that are making life a misery for an awful lot of exhausted, burned-out writers. Do you really have to be a full-time writer? Do you really need an assistant? Do you really have to write every day? Plot your books? Run a street team? Run Facebook ads? Really? Shall we question that premise?

Oh yes, I have seen every one of these conversations happen over the last ten years and tried to implement most of these strategies. So I already knew what does and doesn't work for me and why, and perhaps for that reason I'm not the ideal reader of this book (I would say the ideal reader is someone about 3-5 years in, and believe me I'd have saved myself an awful lot of time if I'd read it then). But I thoroughly enjoyed it anyway, and I needed to see Becca say All The Things in that horribly clear way she has. Read this book.

[Selina Gonzalez]

Once again, I don't know how to rate this, because parts I want everyone to read and parts I'd feel terrible telling anyone to read. Overall, I liked this one more than the first book, but parts still were...eh. If you're struggling with discouragement in your writing or publishing, I'm unsure I recommend this...and yet, that's kind of who it is aimed at. Or, at least, I'm unsure I recommend parts of it. In particular, the "You Don't Need to Write Full Time" chapter I think was poorly handled. It is admittedly very difficult to balance giving a realistic picture of publishing and not going completely pessimistic and defeatist but also not lying about how hard it is, and it's something I struggle with myself. Syme errs on the side of defeatism, and frankly, based on a lot of things she says and the way she says them, it's a wonder she doesn't tell everybody to actually quit writing entirely. Or at least publishing what they write. Maybe skip that chapter. (Which is slightly a shame, because it is kind of important to understand that publishing is not a "get rich quick and easy" scheme and why.) IMO, it would have been better to focus on "you don't need to write full time because you can still be valid as an author and still find writing fulfilling or still make some money while still doing something else" or "you may need the security of a job to even allow you to write" rather than focusing on "because statistically, you won't be able to. 99% of you are 5'6" kids who can't jump but want to be a basketball star, and it ain't happening. Go back to your day job, Average Joe. Stop deluding yourself." It was wildly depressing.

That said, there was also a lot of practical tips. The overall concepts of psychosubsystems that can are reflective, subconscious thought processing that can be triggered was interesting, and the overall point of catching your internal "You. Are. Wrong." messages and questioning both their validity and our instinctual reactions to them was good (and certainly more widely applicable than just to writing and publishing). A lot of the more specific chapters related to things like social media or newsletters or plotting or dictation or street teams were really good, and I appreciated Syme's dedication to "yes, 'this works for me but YMMV,' but let's try to understand why so we can stop that message of 'you are wrong' you get when that strategy doesn't work for you." Much of it was interesting and insightful (if sometimes a bit brusque), and parts again did kind of leave me with "but how exactly do I know what my alignment is?" (And I won't be paying for CliftonStrengths stuff. Feels stupid, and some of Syme's brashness and "you can't change who you are" has turned me off of it entirely.)

[Lola · Rating 5 out of 5]

After loving the first two books in this series I bought this one on release day and started it not much later. This is another great book for authors. I love this series and I wish I could convince everyone to read these.

Where book 1 and 2 address more general concepts that can easily be applied to multiple professions or types of people, this book felt more aimed at authors in particularly. I liked the more broad approach of the earlier books, but I also like the more author focused approach in this one. In book 1 the author already addressed her Question the Premise concept and this book basically expands on that and gives specific examples and topics and then the author shows how to ask yourself questions about whether you need that or whether it's helpful for you. This is everything from whether you need to run ads, do book signings, have a street team and more.

The way the author addresses these topics gives a good feel for how she approaches them and I think it gives authors a good idea on how to reflect and find out whether those things are for them or how best to handle them. It gives authors the tools to evaluate for themselves which techniques or advice to accept and incorporate.

I personally loved the chapter on author assistants. As an author assistant myself I thought it was great to see how she approached this topic and she poses some great questions for authors to consider whether they need an assistant. I also liked her perspective toward assistants, how she seemed to value them and how she also emphasized the authors role in making sure everything goes smoothly.

I also liked her chapter on newsletters and she recommended Newsletter Ninja, which I read and loved. But really most of these chapters are fantastic and I like again the focus she puts on individual differences and how you have to decide whether something is worth it for you, but also if you have the type of personality to do it well or be able to hire someone else for that task. There is plenty of advice, but no strict rules, these are more broad guidelines. She asks questions, so that writers can ask those questions of themselves and figure out how to handle things best. I really like this approach and focus on individual differences.

I liked slowly making my way through this book reading a chapter or two a day, which was a nice way to experience the book. There are so many great tips and bits of advice in here. It's not only a very informative book, but I also enjoy reading these. I like the authors honest writing style, the way she isn't afraid to give some hard truths, but also is encouraging as well.

To summarize: I wish I could convince all authors to read this series as these books are awesome. Filled with great advice, information and enjoyable to read as well. I love these books and this third book is no exception. It deviates slightly from the vibe of the first two books, the focus is more on specific marketing activities and poses questions so authors can determine how to handle those. I like the focus on individual differences and how she doesn't give firm advice, but more tries to encourage writers to figure out what works for them and their priorities and wishes. There is no judgement here, just understanding and encouragement to figure out your way. I like the author's writing style and how she doesn't shy away from hard truths, but also is encouraging and focuses on how everyone is different. I especially liked her chapter about author assistants as an author assistant myself and I liked her perspective on these and how she seems to value assistants and also poses some good questions and things authors can think about before deciding whether they need an assistant. I also liked the chapter on newsletters and how she recommended a newsletter book I read and enjoyed. I can't recommend these books enough and I really hope you pick up a copy!

[Suz Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

“There are writer brains out there who need significantly more thinking time than other writer brains. They need to process, sometimes for days or weeks, before they can put words on paper. And sometimes, they get stuck for days or weeks because something hasn't been puzzled out yet. This is not a deficiency. It is not a lack of appropriate planning. It is a Strength behavior. This might be a sign that your brain is doing what it's supposed to do, if you are wired for this. “

Becca examines some of the “musts” touted as golden rules for success as an author and states how they may or may not work for individuals depending on their strengths and personality. The above quote addresses the assumption that writers must write every day to be successful. While adopting this practice works for many people, this practice may be counterproductive for others.

She examines whether authors need to adopt the following practices: being on every social media platform, strengthening one’s weak areas, running Facebook ads, writing many books a year, becoming a full-time writer, hiring an editor, assembling a street team, managing a newsletter, plotting, setting a release date, writing every day, using dictation, participating in author signings, hiring an assistant, and handling every aspect of one’s business.

In addition to strengths and personality types, Syme examines the psychosubsystems at work in one’s brain, provides an action step for each topic, and explains why working on everything at once often ends in disaster. She leverages concepts from previous books such as energy pennies, but she explains them well so that the books do not need to be read in order. However, this book is a great companion to the first book in the series and the second book on burnout is another valuable resource. I love about Syme’s individualized approach based on personality. She also offers courses, a free YouTube video-cast called the QuitCast, coaching, and other tools through her Patreon site.

[Leigh Kramer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not necessarily new information for me—there’s some overlap with advice in the blog world and I’ve also worked as an author’s assistant—but I really appreciated her advice to QTP (Question the Premise) and the way she dug into psychosubsystems. It’s that latter aspect that has the most value so we can examine what’s behind our decisions and what other motivations might be at play.

Content notes: social media addiction, negative stereotype of someone with drug addiction, mention of weight loss, ableist language

[Kate Tilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I'm happy to recommend to every author I meet (and I think even if you are not a writer, you can learn a lot from it :) )

[Sandra Hutchison · Rating 5 out of 5]

An experienced writing coach helps you better align your own skills and personality with what can work for you as a self-published author, despite all the conventional wisdom that may have you feeling utterly inadequate because you're not outlining, dictating, and publishing 20 books a year and killing it on Instagram while making enough to quit the day job and start your own publishing empire, etc. etc. I was just really hoping she'd say I don't need your own email list, and this was like the one area where she says, nope, sorry, you really do. (Damn!) On everything else, you're likely to find some warm and sane relief here. Highly recommended if you as an author ever suffer from Fear of Missing Out on whatever the current hot thing is.

[Joanne Machin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific insight for writers.

[A.M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh boy, I reckon I highlighted half this book.
Becca is a writing coach and she is saying stuff that almost nobody else is saying. But it resonates with me.

The Wild West of publishing is over. The disruption phase is ending. We are now entering reconstruction. Reconstruction is expensive. The only reason that the disruption phase is so cheap is because corporations haven't figured out how to make people pay for the "new" medium yet. Now, they have. All of the potential places where the new reader eyeballs live have now been monetized. (p. 98).

She’s right.

Outlining. Does. Not. Make. Everyone. Faster. It just doesn't. There's a complicated set of reasons about how our brains process information that I'm going to get into in just a second. But in case you hadn't noticed, the capital letters, I get pretty worked up about this particular issue.
Why is that, Becca?
Because it's one of the biggest causes of genuine stoppage (and book ruining) that I see in the entirety of my coaching career. In fact, it's so common that I've been known to stop people in their introductions in class and ask, "did someone tell you that you have to outline to get faster?" before they get very far into their introductions. It's a consistent pattern. (p. 105).

This *points at quote*
If I do a detailed outline, my brain dusts its little hands off and says ‘well, that’s done’. I have zero interest in writing the full story.
And dictating? Forget it.
I am so glad there is someone out there saying that you should work out what works for you, and do more of that.
5 stars

[Jordyn Kross · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Writer, You're Doing It Wrong questions everything you've been told you MUST do to be successful as a writer. Social media, newsletters, street teams, signings, write every day, publish every month or week. Somewhere in that list of to-dos we're supposed to sleep and eat and exercise and feed our families, perhaps with our day job. But we know we're wrong if we don't do all those things. But are we? (IF you watch Becca's YouTube videos, this will said in her voice in your head).

I loved the format of this book. The short chapters with actionable items and takeaways. The gift of self-acceptance to be the writer you are, not the one you're told to be. I like how she analyzed both sides of the coin on many topics. This book makes you think and decide for yourself what YOU need to do to be successful, your definition of success, and gives you strategies to quiet the negative voice in your head telling you you're doing it all wrong.

[Jennifer Hart · Rating 2 out of 5]

The biggest problem I have with this series is the author's assumption that all succful writers make six figures.
In her own style.
QTP: But ... do they?
I don't. And I have a backlist that could choke a donkey, pay my bills and taxes and keep the wheel churning with new books. all from writing. Not coaching. Not selling books on writing to hopeful writers. Writing fiction.
Most people don't earn six figures a year. People with Master's degrees. Teachers and social workers. Many of them are happy. Will writing make you rich? Probably not. Do you need to be earning six figures?
That's your call.

[Kate M. Colby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite the negative title, this book is actually quite uplifting! Becca Syme lists various tasks or strategies that experts often advise writers employ. Then, she discusses the merits of each and reassures writers that they don’t *have* to do these things. She encourages writers to take all advice with a grain of salt and consider whether it fits with their personality and business plan. It sounds like common sense, but Becca also explores the psychosubsystems that keep writers (and all people) from making logical decisions. Recommended for all writers but especially indie authors.

[Ronel Janse van Vuuren · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was good to read that I’m not the one at fault when certain techniques don’t work for me like they do for others – it’s like a weight has been lifted. And reading that some things I do that work for me and not the greater population because of alignment and personality was like an affirmation that I’m doing it the right way for me.

I really liked the lizard messengers and rope guard analogy.

A book every author should read, because we really shouldn’t believe that we have to do all the things.

[Scarlett Chase · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I've learned the most from that I can actually use right now & not just have notes for later. Reading this has helped me reinforce some of the things I was already thinking about with my own process & platform. But it also helped me develop a new strategy for my M-F schedule to start writing more often while balancing the rest of what I need to do on my work days. I've only been doing it for 3 days but I saw immediate results. I'm so happy! Of course I'm going to keep going in this series. I've learned so much. Thank you for writing this series!

[JacQueline Vaughn Roe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Question and learn

So my kid asked me, are you questioning HER premise? Yep, I am, and so far, Becca Syme has proven a credible source that I can learn from. Loved the first book, Dear Writer, You Need to Quit” despite my initial reaction. She was right, not only are there things I need to quit, but many things I need to ponder, reconsider, or even just adapt differently. Great book!

[Jeanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 étoiles parce qu'en plus d'être très informatif et salutaire, j'ai trouvé ce livre très drôle... Peut-être l'humour est-il là pour mieux faire passer la pillule? Il y a de la déconstruction de mythes là-dedans (relatifs à l'écriture et à l'industrie littéraire), mais aussi des rappels pertinents de choses qu'on sait ou qu'on devrait savoir, mais qu'on oublie trop facilement quand on est en plein milieu d'une crise.

[Emily Michel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book to read after Dear Writer You Need to Quit. Addresses common writing advice and who does and does not benefit from it. Our brains are all different and each author approaches writing and other aspects of the authoring biz in their own way. This book helps break down when advice might work for you, and when it won't. Then'll you be able to let go of the things that won't work and concentrate on your strengths.

[Suzannah Rowntree · Rating 3 out of 5]

A helpful book aimed at getting authors to think through whether they're really making the right choices for themselves in their indie author career. It tips a bunch of sacred cows, but was only of limited usefulness to someone like me, who tends to be fairly impervious to other people's expectations. Still, I'll definitely be revisiting this in the future for another dose of bracing reality.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part of Becca Syme's Quitbooks, "Dear Writer, You're Doing it Wrong" is a useful way to approach questioning all those common things people tell writers. (i.e. "Writers should plot") But should you? That's what you'll be asking yourself. Depending on your personality and strengths, the answer may surprise you.

[Jen FitzGerald · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this book back in the fall of 2020 and it made a huge impression on me. My choices about my publishing journey were validated.

I just re-read it and I recommend it to every single newly published author and every pre-published author. Really, every author needs to take Becca's words to heart.

[Manon F · Rating 4 out of 5]

L'auteure remet en question plusieurs courants de pensées qui circulent dans les médias sociaux. Destiné aux auteurs mais cette manière de tout remettre en question est utile cas toutes les sphères de la vie. J'ai bien aimé cette lecture qui sonne comme le discours d'une bonne amie qui ne veut que mon bien.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

An optimistic and inspiring reality check!

Leaving me both sobered and newly motivated, this book urges writers to examine themselves while questioning assumptions about what authors need to do to achieve their goals as well as the usefulness of those goals! It looks at personality paradigms to explain that we can’t and shouldn’t all walk the same path to success.

[Laura Briggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love these books

I devoured all three of the books in this series quickly and decided to work with her team in the Better Faster Academy too. These are now the books I recommend to all the writers I work with. Excellent material.

[Jeanine Englert · Rating 5 out of 5]

ANOTHER great book by Becca Syme! I am absolutely hooked on this series. It has helped me to really QTP about all of the things I hear I should be doing as an author. I can't wait to read the next one!

[Christina Vourcos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful to Read

I found this book helpful to see what I could be doing wrong and what I could focus on moving forward. I don’t know why I can’t stop reading this series. I’m figuring it’s because I’ve needed it for more than I realized.

[Talena Winters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, so much great advice for indie authors. This is going on my most-recommended list.

[Amanda Byrd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not all of Becca's "You.Are.Wrong" chapter titles were for me, like the chapter on dictation, but I still found a lot of value in this book. I admire her candor and honesty.
Thanks, Becca!

[Janine]

An enlightening perspective of what we think is the right and wrong way to do things in the world of writing and publishing. Full review later.

[David Macpherson · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to

It had a few good points that was worth the time for me to learn from. The intro went too long but the bulk was good

[Nadia Vriendt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful tips, and reassurance that, no, authors don't 'have' to do anything, if it doesn't suit their process and personality.