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I'm Not Broken
"In this unflinching and inspiring memoir, Jesus Leon tells an extraordinary story of resilience and survival, shining a light on a childhood spent devastated by sex trafficking, gang life, and substance abuse. Born to indigenous working-class Mexican immigrants in San Diego in the 1970s, Jesus Leon's childhood was violently ruptured. A dangerous and harrowing encounter at a local gift shop when he was eleven years old left Leon with a deadly secret. Hurt, alone, and scared for his life, Leon numbed his pain by losing himself in the macho culture of the streets and wherever else he could find it-in alcohol, drugs, and prostitution. Overlooked by state-sanctioned institutions and systems intended to help victims of abuse, neglected like many other low-income Latinos, Leon spiraled into cycles of suicide and substance abuse. I'm Not Broken is the heartbreaking and remarkable story of the journey Leon takes to win back his life, leading him to the steps of Harvard University. From being the lone young person of color in Narcotics Anonymous meetings to coming to terms with his own queer identity, to becoming an engaged mentor for incarcerated youth, Leon finds the will to live with the love and support of his family, friends, and mentors. Recounting the extraordinary circumstances of his life, Leon offers a powerful, raw testament to the possibilities of self-transformation and self-acceptance. Unforgettable, I'm Not Broken is an inspirational portrait of one young man's indomitable strength and spirit to survive-against all possible odds"--
323 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 23, 2022
38 people are currently reading
3224 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 115 reviews
May 15, 2022
“Stop fighting. You lost the war, not the battle. But the war.”
This was such a harrowing, inspiring, and unforgettable read. I started reading this memoir and, before I knew it, was a quarter of the way through without coming up for air. This is the story of a young Mexican boy in America, who came up against the odds.
His words possessed a raw honesty and realness, and his voice tells his story unflinchingly. He brings this story to life with such authenticity, and it really hits a nerve.
If, like myself, you loved From the Ashes or Breaking Night, I highly recommend this book. To say I couldn’t put it down would be an understatement.
Thanks Netgalley for the opportunity to review this arc.
This was such a harrowing, inspiring, and unforgettable read. I started reading this memoir and, before I knew it, was a quarter of the way through without coming up for air. This is the story of a young Mexican boy in America, who came up against the odds.
His words possessed a raw honesty and realness, and his voice tells his story unflinchingly. He brings this story to life with such authenticity, and it really hits a nerve.
If, like myself, you loved From the Ashes or Breaking Night, I highly recommend this book. To say I couldn’t put it down would be an understatement.
Thanks Netgalley for the opportunity to review this arc.
May 21, 2023
Wow, it was beyond jarring every time he mentioned his age. Like a rubber band snapping against my brain.
Felt like I was reading someone’s harrowing life story except it was before Jesse had even hit 21. It shows how unfortunately, at such a young age, 11-18 years old working the streets, being sexually abused daily, consuming drugs and alcohol can then compartmentalize that trauma and become a high-functioning addict at such a young age.
But he’s truly an inspiration. To go from reading the most heartbreaking tragic story to the second half of the book was like a light at the end of the tunnel. In just a few years after joining narcotics anonymous he not only continued his education and got into Harvard but found passion in learning, traveled, found community, and embraced his sexual identity regardless of the trauma of his youth. Great book for anyone young going through recovery. He found his way out with the help of support and how to ask for it.
💜
Felt like I was reading someone’s harrowing life story except it was before Jesse had even hit 21. It shows how unfortunately, at such a young age, 11-18 years old working the streets, being sexually abused daily, consuming drugs and alcohol can then compartmentalize that trauma and become a high-functioning addict at such a young age.
But he’s truly an inspiration. To go from reading the most heartbreaking tragic story to the second half of the book was like a light at the end of the tunnel. In just a few years after joining narcotics anonymous he not only continued his education and got into Harvard but found passion in learning, traveled, found community, and embraced his sexual identity regardless of the trauma of his youth. Great book for anyone young going through recovery. He found his way out with the help of support and how to ask for it.
💜
October 12, 2022
Heavy and hard to read, the story haunted me long after I read it. The deep wounds and scars of of this man, inflicted on him as a boy, left me with a deep anguish that I couldn't shake. Well written, honest, and raw, it was almost too much for me to take. Despite his resilience and his rising above, I still felt a heavy grief during and after. So brave for him to have written this story, and even braver for him to have lived through it, not only surviving but flourishing. I'd give it 5 stars for taking me on a roller coaster ride, but I have to give 4 because even as I write this I don't want to imagine these things are possible in the world and I'm not sure I'd have selected it if I knew it's impact on me. Kudos brave Jesse! Hell, I'm changing back to 5 stars...You are a hero!
November 18, 2022
Very inspirational, very important book. Jesse and I have different childhoods but there are some aspects of his experiences of growing up in a Hispanic household and culture that cut deep to my soul and found me sobbing quietly to myself because he was talking about me. I saw myself written in these pages, almost like he was calling me out but in a good way because I knew I needed this to be told to me. With every word I read it shocked me how much can happen to a person in a short amount of time and over the course of years and it struck a cord in me that if Jesse Leon, at a young age even, can fight this hard so can I and I have absolutely no excuse. It feels like my eyes were forced open to look at the future ahead of me.
Thank you Jesse, I really hope to have the honor to meet you one day.
Thank you Jesse, I really hope to have the honor to meet you one day.
October 3, 2022
This was one of the hardest books I’ve ever read. Jesse’s story is gut-wrenching. Thankful for having read it, but it was so, so much.
July 31, 2023
What a story. I listened to this, and it was read by the author, which made it that much more powerful. Hearing the author talk about some of his hardest times in life and then reflect was very emotional. I would recommend this. I lived in San Diego for a very short time and never thought about life downtown in the 80s/90s, very eye opening. As always, love a book that had part in my neighborhood, now. I know exactly what building he was talking about in Cambridge, up from the Middle East.
October 11, 2022
An absolutely gut wrenching memoir, Jesse truly doesn’t hold back from exposing all the vulnerable parts of himself, his family, and his trauma. It’s hard to read, no doubt, but so important because it highlights just how vulnerable immigrants and their children are to predators in the community, how machismo culture can suffocate and aggravate attempts to speak out, and how the effects of sexual abuse and trafficking can follow survivors throughout their lives, impacting all types of relationships and impacting how they view their own sexuality.
Jesse’s experiences show in stark detail just how violent the 1970s in low income communities and cities were, the stigma associated with homosexuality, and just how every resource designed to fight against abuse and protect children, can and often do fail due to apathy, limited resources and funding, and prejudice and racism. So many scenes enraged me — from the Principal and cop that insinuated victims lie for attention, to the therapist that did nothing to help Jesse after his abuse while knowing he had since been forced into prostitution to survive poverty and engaged in rampant drug abuse.
Despite all this, we see how Jesse triumphs to attend Harvard, finally breaking free, only to be crushed by anxiety and depression, struggling to meet expectations or understand how to navigate socially. It was illuminating to see that it’s not a matter of riding off into the sunset into a fancy Ivy League school. That won’t get rid of your demons, and for immigrants and their children especially, it presents a whole new host of hurdles that so often, our white peers don’t see or care about. It can feel so isolating and exhausting to try and mirror those around us, to laugh when we think we should, to feel like no matter how social we are in other communities, those at school simply don’t get us, they don’t see the world like us and worse— they can’t even imagine it’s anything different than what they see.
It’s weird to say I loved this memoir because of the content, but it’s so incredibly moving and haunting. I applaud the author not just for sharing it all with us, but for also doing the audiobook narration. It doesn’t get more intimate than that. One thing I would have loved, was just more about the Jesse of today - what life after Harvard to today has been like. How Jesse has connected to others like him and given back. I know he has from further research, but it’s an important chapter of his life I wish we also got to see and read in his own words and with his own voice.
There are several TWs including rape, sexual assault, prostitution, suicidal ideation, drug abuse, physical abuse, and alcoholism. I encourage you to check the author’s website for TWs.
Jesse’s experiences show in stark detail just how violent the 1970s in low income communities and cities were, the stigma associated with homosexuality, and just how every resource designed to fight against abuse and protect children, can and often do fail due to apathy, limited resources and funding, and prejudice and racism. So many scenes enraged me — from the Principal and cop that insinuated victims lie for attention, to the therapist that did nothing to help Jesse after his abuse while knowing he had since been forced into prostitution to survive poverty and engaged in rampant drug abuse.
Despite all this, we see how Jesse triumphs to attend Harvard, finally breaking free, only to be crushed by anxiety and depression, struggling to meet expectations or understand how to navigate socially. It was illuminating to see that it’s not a matter of riding off into the sunset into a fancy Ivy League school. That won’t get rid of your demons, and for immigrants and their children especially, it presents a whole new host of hurdles that so often, our white peers don’t see or care about. It can feel so isolating and exhausting to try and mirror those around us, to laugh when we think we should, to feel like no matter how social we are in other communities, those at school simply don’t get us, they don’t see the world like us and worse— they can’t even imagine it’s anything different than what they see.
It’s weird to say I loved this memoir because of the content, but it’s so incredibly moving and haunting. I applaud the author not just for sharing it all with us, but for also doing the audiobook narration. It doesn’t get more intimate than that. One thing I would have loved, was just more about the Jesse of today - what life after Harvard to today has been like. How Jesse has connected to others like him and given back. I know he has from further research, but it’s an important chapter of his life I wish we also got to see and read in his own words and with his own voice.
There are several TWs including rape, sexual assault, prostitution, suicidal ideation, drug abuse, physical abuse, and alcoholism. I encourage you to check the author’s website for TWs.
September 16, 2022
I normally don’t read memoirs but have been trying to branch out more and explore new book genres, especially in order to ‘hear’ more and different voices. Leon’s I’m Not Broken came to me through my, of all things, LinkedIn network. The joy of seeing him get his first shipment of his finished book filled me with such positive energy. I immediately got a copy from the library.
Leon’s story isn’t for the faint of heart (the book has quite a few trigger warnings especially around sexual assault, drug use, and child abuse); it is a hard and harsh look at his lived experiences. But it doesn’t also beg for the reader’s pity and it’s not lurid or self-indulgent (admittedly part of the reason why I normally avoid memoirs): this is a raw look at the intersection of toxic masculinity, especially in Latinx culture, coming to terms with one’s own identities, and taking ownership of recovery. Several times I was so angry, upset, heartbroken, and, yet, this isn’t what he wants from us: really this was an opportunity to bear witness. I was particularly struck by Leon’s ability to identify not only his own inner strength but also the community of people who help him succeed, so critical when someone feels unworthy of such love and support.
I recommend this for people interested in the topics Leon discusses and really wish (seems nearly impossible in this political culture) this was more widely available in high schools as I feel this could speak to young students who may see themselves in Leon’s story.
Leon’s story isn’t for the faint of heart (the book has quite a few trigger warnings especially around sexual assault, drug use, and child abuse); it is a hard and harsh look at his lived experiences. But it doesn’t also beg for the reader’s pity and it’s not lurid or self-indulgent (admittedly part of the reason why I normally avoid memoirs): this is a raw look at the intersection of toxic masculinity, especially in Latinx culture, coming to terms with one’s own identities, and taking ownership of recovery. Several times I was so angry, upset, heartbroken, and, yet, this isn’t what he wants from us: really this was an opportunity to bear witness. I was particularly struck by Leon’s ability to identify not only his own inner strength but also the community of people who help him succeed, so critical when someone feels unworthy of such love and support.
I recommend this for people interested in the topics Leon discusses and really wish (seems nearly impossible in this political culture) this was more widely available in high schools as I feel this could speak to young students who may see themselves in Leon’s story.
November 14, 2022
Even if you read the description of this memoir, you will not be prepared for how heart wrenching and tragic Jesse Leon’s story is. The author does not hold back in his memoir. His writing is honest, straightforward, and thoughtful. At the very beginning of the memoir, you quickly realize how devastating and saddening the experiences the author went through as a young child are. At the end of the memoir and throughout, you also realize how brave and resilient the author is. I can’t even begin to imagine how traumatic the events of Leon’s life are.
Even though Leon’s story nearly made me cry and shook me to my core, I think it is so important for others to read about it. I challenge readers to pick up this book and read it from cover to cover. It is by no means an easy task. This is a difficult book to read emotionally. However, this is such a poignant and impactful memoir to read. The author’s story includes many important basic human rights issues. The story tactfully covers issues like sex trafficking, rape, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, homophobia, drug/alcohol abuse, racism, and, sadly, even more.
Jesse Leon is one of many children who have been completely failed by the system. I wish more could have been done on behalf of the author. Although this story took place decades ago, this country still struggles with these issues and continues to fail children like Jesse Leon.
Even though Leon’s story nearly made me cry and shook me to my core, I think it is so important for others to read about it. I challenge readers to pick up this book and read it from cover to cover. It is by no means an easy task. This is a difficult book to read emotionally. However, this is such a poignant and impactful memoir to read. The author’s story includes many important basic human rights issues. The story tactfully covers issues like sex trafficking, rape, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, homophobia, drug/alcohol abuse, racism, and, sadly, even more.
Jesse Leon is one of many children who have been completely failed by the system. I wish more could have been done on behalf of the author. Although this story took place decades ago, this country still struggles with these issues and continues to fail children like Jesse Leon.
December 13, 2022
So, wow. This was hard to read. I can’t imagine having lived it.
I’m Not Broken is Jesse Leon’s memoir. It’s dark, raw, unapologetically honest, sad, depressing, hopeful, and ultimately, a powerful proclamation of resilience and success despite the odds.
Jesse was a young adolescent, just beginning to question his sexual identity, when a chance encounter led to years of sexual abuse. This spiraled into drug abuse, prostitution, and the kind of on-the-edge lifestyle from which too many people never recover.
This took me a while to read because I had to keep putting it down. Jesse doesn’t shy away from details, and I felt it all.
Fortunately, we have a happy ending. Jesse Leon is a rare success story, and by sharing it he provides insight into a broken system, and hope for those caught within it.
*Thanks to Vintage Anchor Books for the free copy!*
I’m Not Broken is Jesse Leon’s memoir. It’s dark, raw, unapologetically honest, sad, depressing, hopeful, and ultimately, a powerful proclamation of resilience and success despite the odds.
Jesse was a young adolescent, just beginning to question his sexual identity, when a chance encounter led to years of sexual abuse. This spiraled into drug abuse, prostitution, and the kind of on-the-edge lifestyle from which too many people never recover.
This took me a while to read because I had to keep putting it down. Jesse doesn’t shy away from details, and I felt it all.
Fortunately, we have a happy ending. Jesse Leon is a rare success story, and by sharing it he provides insight into a broken system, and hope for those caught within it.
*Thanks to Vintage Anchor Books for the free copy!*
September 10, 2022
A powerful story of hope and resilience. The detail throughout this book paints such a vivid picture, it really felt like I was there through all of it. I experienced so many emotions reading Jesse's story: heartbreak, empathy, sadness, pain, hope, anger. It was one of those books I couldn't put down. This is such an important story that I hope travels through communities around the world. "I'm Not Broken" is one of the most vulnerable, painful, and courageous stories I've ever read.
Thank you Jesse for sharing your story.
Thank you Jesse for sharing your story.
January 24, 2023
A tough memoir to read, but an important one to read. Jesse does not hold back when describing everything he survived during his youth. The fact that you know from the start that he not only survived but triumphed over it helped when reading this, because you know he came out the other end.
April 24, 2024
Powerful, heart wrenching, and empowering.
November 27, 2024
Rough story of overcoming trauma.
Read
March 5, 2025Absolutely gut-wrenching and incredibly inspiring
March 23, 2024
An incredibly harrowing and riveting memoir, and an important work in queer autobiographical literature.
October 28, 2024
A young man's journey to an Ivy League college.
January 30, 2025
Raw and powerful. A great read and powerful story of resilience, advocacy, honoring ancestors, and finding community. Jesse is an amazing speaker and his words leave an impact on your heart.
August 13, 2022
Jesse Leon is the son of Mexican immigrants, born in 1974 and raised in pre-gentrified San Diego. Always the quiet one, called “nerd” by his brother and friends because he wore glasses, young Jesse preferred to stick close to home, studying and helping his mother in the kitchen. As his academics improved he was transferred to a magnet school.
While he may have taken some bullying for being “the smart kid”, Leon’s young life was on a good track until the day, at age 11, when he was sexually molested in a harrowing encounter and his whole life changed. Threatened that his mother would be killed if he told anyone he had been molested, young Jesse fell under the power of his molester. The abuse continued and grew to include other abusers.
To hide his pain he turned to alcohol and drugs. His life began a slow spiral downwards into addiction and prostitution. Though he finally got free of his abuser, the downward spiral continued through his high school years and into his early adulthood at the local community college.
Leon’s memoir, I’m Not Broken , covers his young life and descent, and how he was able to climb back up and go on to graduate from Harvard. He details his journey to sobriety by way of Narcotics Anonymous, and his struggle to understand and accept his sexual orientation.
Today Jesse Leon is a graduate of the Harvard Kennedy School, with a masters in Public Policy. Since the events covered in his book he’s gone on to have a long and successful career.
This book is a frank and honest recounting that doesn’t shy away from the darkness and pain. It’s all relayed in a rather matter of fact tone, and I found that even when the subject matter was intense that the way it was told somewhat flattened out the impact. I can’t really put my finger on exactly why, but I got the feeling as I read the book that Leon, even as he revealed so much to us as readers, was still trying to hold back and not let us get in over our heads.
The end of the journey is positive and inspiring. Part of the lessons Jesse learned is that he could not climb back up by himself, but instead he needed to allow himself to be vulnerable, to ask for help, and to trust that there were others who would help him. And from that he learned to give help in return.
Given the subject matter there are numerous trigger warnings - sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, racism, rape, prostitution, and drug use at a minimum.
This is a relatively short book and was a quick read.
RATING: Three and a Half Stars ⭐⭐⭐🌠
NOTE: I received an advanced copy of this book from Knopf Doubleday and NetGalley, and am voluntarily providing this review. The book is due out on August 23rd, 2022.
While he may have taken some bullying for being “the smart kid”, Leon’s young life was on a good track until the day, at age 11, when he was sexually molested in a harrowing encounter and his whole life changed. Threatened that his mother would be killed if he told anyone he had been molested, young Jesse fell under the power of his molester. The abuse continued and grew to include other abusers.
To hide his pain he turned to alcohol and drugs. His life began a slow spiral downwards into addiction and prostitution. Though he finally got free of his abuser, the downward spiral continued through his high school years and into his early adulthood at the local community college.
Leon’s memoir, I’m Not Broken , covers his young life and descent, and how he was able to climb back up and go on to graduate from Harvard. He details his journey to sobriety by way of Narcotics Anonymous, and his struggle to understand and accept his sexual orientation.
Today Jesse Leon is a graduate of the Harvard Kennedy School, with a masters in Public Policy. Since the events covered in his book he’s gone on to have a long and successful career.
This book is a frank and honest recounting that doesn’t shy away from the darkness and pain. It’s all relayed in a rather matter of fact tone, and I found that even when the subject matter was intense that the way it was told somewhat flattened out the impact. I can’t really put my finger on exactly why, but I got the feeling as I read the book that Leon, even as he revealed so much to us as readers, was still trying to hold back and not let us get in over our heads.
The end of the journey is positive and inspiring. Part of the lessons Jesse learned is that he could not climb back up by himself, but instead he needed to allow himself to be vulnerable, to ask for help, and to trust that there were others who would help him. And from that he learned to give help in return.
Given the subject matter there are numerous trigger warnings - sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, racism, rape, prostitution, and drug use at a minimum.
This is a relatively short book and was a quick read.
RATING: Three and a Half Stars ⭐⭐⭐🌠
NOTE: I received an advanced copy of this book from Knopf Doubleday and NetGalley, and am voluntarily providing this review. The book is due out on August 23rd, 2022.
September 26, 2025
As someone who teaches middle school students about human trafficking this was an incredibly important read. Jesse Leon came to our district to speak to us and he was incredibly kind and open about his story. This book also explores themes of Latinx culture, family dynamics, and LGBTIA+ exploration. I loved his trips to Cuba and Spain. I love how he talked about going to 12 step meetings in these new places and how connected that community it is. I’d highly recommend this book to everyone.
July 5, 2023
Jesse Leon grew up in a home where being a man meant being “machismo,” and with a father who expected nothing less than that, Jesse did not fit. Instead of playing sports, he preferred to help his mother with chores. It was not long after he started questioning his sexuality that he became of victim of sex trafficking, which led to his descent into drugs and despair. It was when Jesse experienced another horrific trauma that he realized he needed to change his life.
The reader sees Leon transform himself from a victimized child to a wannabe cholo, to a drug-addict, to a drug-addicted prostitute. After a long-winded transformation, Leon whirlwinds his way towards the end, with college, world-traveling, and eventually coming to grips with his past. After devoting much of the book to the hardest parts of his life, Leon glosses over his successes and rushes through them. A good amount of editing or elaboration would have helped a lot.
“I am not broken” has the potential of being a terrific book, but it misses its mark.
Thank you for your review.
The reader sees Leon transform himself from a victimized child to a wannabe cholo, to a drug-addict, to a drug-addicted prostitute. After a long-winded transformation, Leon whirlwinds his way towards the end, with college, world-traveling, and eventually coming to grips with his past. After devoting much of the book to the hardest parts of his life, Leon glosses over his successes and rushes through them. A good amount of editing or elaboration would have helped a lot.
“I am not broken” has the potential of being a terrific book, but it misses its mark.
Thank you for your review.
October 18, 2022
"That tiny room became my home for the next two years. The first night I slept on the floor...the air in the city smelled like fish, my room was doll-house size. I forced myself to write a gratitude list." - Jesse Leon in his memoir I'm Not Broken.
I read this paragraph 5 times before I continued.
This book won the Memoir award for 2022.
I could not put it down for three days until I hit the words "I love you all." Heartbreaking but inspirational. Best memoir you'll ever read.
I read this paragraph 5 times before I continued.
This book won the Memoir award for 2022.
I could not put it down for three days until I hit the words "I love you all." Heartbreaking but inspirational. Best memoir you'll ever read.
November 1, 2022
I saw this author speak on a memoir panel last month and was intrigued by his story. After reading it, this is one of those "stranger than fiction" life stories. From growing up poor in the barrio of San Diego and sex trafficked at a young age to one day reaching Harvard for grad school—Jesse truly redeemed himself in many ways.
August 12, 2023
Decent telling of the author's sexual and drug abuse, marred by his non-stop anti-white racism. The irony is that this Latino is actually of the white race but fails to acknowledge it, instead spewing page-after-page of anti-white hatred. The word white of course is not in caps, "black" is, which is another knock to whites and a misuse of the language.
He also includes many anti-American rants, including his feeling the need to praise Cuba (though he admits it's not the ideal socialist environment he hoped for)! He ultimately became a success in this country because of the well-meaning support of many white people that he condemns here, where he probably would have been killed for his sexuality or drug abuse in his ancestral Mexico.
His childhood is pretty shocking, being beaten and sexually assaulted at the age of 12. While Leon claims he was "sex trafficked," that isn't exactly true. Leon blames a perpetrator for "forcing" him into sex, yet in reality the boy was only forced the first time with a store owner in a back room and chose to return there to have sex with other men, not telling his family or authorities about the threats and assaults. Namely, he could have chosen to stop returning after the first molestation. By the time he was 14 he was willingly prostituting himself to make money and no one was forcing or trafficking him, yet he continued to do it until he was at least 18.
While we should feel sorry for what happened in his initial abuse, the author had no common sense and caused many of his own problems during his teen years when many people tried to help him. He should have been arrested multiple times but cops let him go. His saintly mother and a girl he got high with led him to N.A. meetings where eventually he cleaned up.
His sexual story is also not quite as clear as he wants to make it. It constantly evolved, which stands against the standard LGBT community line that he was "born" a certain way. I would like to hear someone argue that his non-consensual rape by a man when he was 12 wasn't the start of what led to his adult sexual identity.
One of the most annoying things about this book is that he uses Spanish in parts involving his mother (who doesn't speak English although she lives in America and has for years). Sometimes he translates it, other times he doesn't. And in the key scene where he comes out to his mother as gay, he fails to translate the paragraph so we have no idea what was said. It ends up confusing the moment and adds to the book's overall theme of confusion.
He also ends the book way too soon with his graduation from Harvard, instead of updating us on the many years that followed.
In the end the writer tries to make himself a role model but is so imbalanced politically and socially that he fails to have the impact he claims. His story is certainly worth reading but with a skepticism that Leon is holding his broken life up as an inspirational example, yet hopefully few will have to suffer anything similar.
He also includes many anti-American rants, including his feeling the need to praise Cuba (though he admits it's not the ideal socialist environment he hoped for)! He ultimately became a success in this country because of the well-meaning support of many white people that he condemns here, where he probably would have been killed for his sexuality or drug abuse in his ancestral Mexico.
His childhood is pretty shocking, being beaten and sexually assaulted at the age of 12. While Leon claims he was "sex trafficked," that isn't exactly true. Leon blames a perpetrator for "forcing" him into sex, yet in reality the boy was only forced the first time with a store owner in a back room and chose to return there to have sex with other men, not telling his family or authorities about the threats and assaults. Namely, he could have chosen to stop returning after the first molestation. By the time he was 14 he was willingly prostituting himself to make money and no one was forcing or trafficking him, yet he continued to do it until he was at least 18.
While we should feel sorry for what happened in his initial abuse, the author had no common sense and caused many of his own problems during his teen years when many people tried to help him. He should have been arrested multiple times but cops let him go. His saintly mother and a girl he got high with led him to N.A. meetings where eventually he cleaned up.
His sexual story is also not quite as clear as he wants to make it. It constantly evolved, which stands against the standard LGBT community line that he was "born" a certain way. I would like to hear someone argue that his non-consensual rape by a man when he was 12 wasn't the start of what led to his adult sexual identity.
One of the most annoying things about this book is that he uses Spanish in parts involving his mother (who doesn't speak English although she lives in America and has for years). Sometimes he translates it, other times he doesn't. And in the key scene where he comes out to his mother as gay, he fails to translate the paragraph so we have no idea what was said. It ends up confusing the moment and adds to the book's overall theme of confusion.
He also ends the book way too soon with his graduation from Harvard, instead of updating us on the many years that followed.
In the end the writer tries to make himself a role model but is so imbalanced politically and socially that he fails to have the impact he claims. His story is certainly worth reading but with a skepticism that Leon is holding his broken life up as an inspirational example, yet hopefully few will have to suffer anything similar.
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December 22, 2022Thank you to @vintageanchorbooks for my gifted copy of this incredible memoir by Jesse Leon.
⚠️ not for the faint of heart, Leon bleeds his heart out telling his story. He minces no words. The sexual abuse at the hands of predators he endured, the domestic violence that surrounded him, the discrimination since early childhood, all of it is on the page for readers to judge.
I’m at a loss on where to start with reviewing this so I’ll attempt at a chronological overview of what to expect.
A young Chicano child living in the “bad” part of San Diego questions his sexuality at an early age. He is ridiculed by his machista Mexican father and he attempts to meet his fathers expectations by acting and dressing like a “cholo” to command respect.
📝 the Mexican machista man is such a typical villain for children to experience and be damaged by
A day like any other leads him into the den of a predator, he is raped at 11 years old and manipulated by fear he is forced to continue returning, after a while his tormentor begins pimping him out to other pedophiles.
Understandably, Leon finds an escape in drugs and alcohol. His life is spiraling out of control, his sex work is his way of life and he survives by putting on a “IDGAF” attitude.
Praise the Lord, a fellow Chicano counselor encourages him to think about his future, he sees right through his façade and doesn’t buy that he doesn’t care. Leon starts at community college, gets clean, transfers to UC Berkeley and graduates, then attends Harvard for his Masters degree.
Like the counselor who helped him turn his life around he is now a social impact consultant and specializes on providing ways to address issues of substance abuse, affordable housing, and any LGBTQIA+ issues.
It’s a tough read but truly astonishing. The tenacity this child then man had to summon to climb out of the hole that he was born into then the one he was manipulated into is unbelievable.
If you know anyone who has felt low, anyone who has felt they don’t belong or have messed up one too many times then this book is for them. I urge you to read it and open your eyes to the life experiences that go on undetected for years.
Follow me for more bookish content on Instagram @celestes.bookshelf
⚠️ not for the faint of heart, Leon bleeds his heart out telling his story. He minces no words. The sexual abuse at the hands of predators he endured, the domestic violence that surrounded him, the discrimination since early childhood, all of it is on the page for readers to judge.
I’m at a loss on where to start with reviewing this so I’ll attempt at a chronological overview of what to expect.
A young Chicano child living in the “bad” part of San Diego questions his sexuality at an early age. He is ridiculed by his machista Mexican father and he attempts to meet his fathers expectations by acting and dressing like a “cholo” to command respect.
📝 the Mexican machista man is such a typical villain for children to experience and be damaged by
A day like any other leads him into the den of a predator, he is raped at 11 years old and manipulated by fear he is forced to continue returning, after a while his tormentor begins pimping him out to other pedophiles.
Understandably, Leon finds an escape in drugs and alcohol. His life is spiraling out of control, his sex work is his way of life and he survives by putting on a “IDGAF” attitude.
Praise the Lord, a fellow Chicano counselor encourages him to think about his future, he sees right through his façade and doesn’t buy that he doesn’t care. Leon starts at community college, gets clean, transfers to UC Berkeley and graduates, then attends Harvard for his Masters degree.
Like the counselor who helped him turn his life around he is now a social impact consultant and specializes on providing ways to address issues of substance abuse, affordable housing, and any LGBTQIA+ issues.
It’s a tough read but truly astonishing. The tenacity this child then man had to summon to climb out of the hole that he was born into then the one he was manipulated into is unbelievable.
If you know anyone who has felt low, anyone who has felt they don’t belong or have messed up one too many times then this book is for them. I urge you to read it and open your eyes to the life experiences that go on undetected for years.
Follow me for more bookish content on Instagram @celestes.bookshelf
July 31, 2022
TW: racism, sexual assault/ rape, trafficking, prostitution, substance abuse, suicide ideation (please check for other triggers before reading)
Wow. Having just finished this amazing memoir I have no idea what to write… I will say that it is definitely a novel worth reading if you are able to due to the content.
I’m Not Broken follows the life of Jesse Leon, a Mexican-American male who grew up in San Diego during the 1980s. At the beginning of the book we see a successful young man graduating from Harvard University, but as the novel progresses we see that life events which lead him to that point were unexpected and traumatic. One such event which occurred in his childhood lead him down a disastrous path involving substance abuse, prostitution and suicidal ideation. What keeps you going as a reader is knowing that he manages to turn his life around against all odds and becomes a graduate from one of the most prestigious universities in the world.
This memoir is truly amazing! It is beautifully written by Leon and captures such traumatic moments unflinchingly as well as the hurt suffered, not only by Jesse, but by his loved ones. As we followed Leon, we also saw him grapple with confusion surrounding his sexuality and racism in the USA. As a reader, I thought that whenever something traumatic occurred which was linked to his battle with addiction or prostitution, that it would be the moment he left that world. However, he provided a more realistic account that meant that although those events occured, it didn’t necessarily mean he was able to leave them behind and instead may have meant that he fell deeper into addiction and street life.
It is a memoir that will stay with me for a long time.
Read: for a moving memoir from a Mexican- American male, reminiscent of Maya Angelou’s autobiographies 🇲🇽
NB: Thank you to NetGalley and from Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group for giving me an eARC of this book (pub. 23.08.22). I voluntarily read and reviewed it. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Wow. Having just finished this amazing memoir I have no idea what to write… I will say that it is definitely a novel worth reading if you are able to due to the content.
I’m Not Broken follows the life of Jesse Leon, a Mexican-American male who grew up in San Diego during the 1980s. At the beginning of the book we see a successful young man graduating from Harvard University, but as the novel progresses we see that life events which lead him to that point were unexpected and traumatic. One such event which occurred in his childhood lead him down a disastrous path involving substance abuse, prostitution and suicidal ideation. What keeps you going as a reader is knowing that he manages to turn his life around against all odds and becomes a graduate from one of the most prestigious universities in the world.
This memoir is truly amazing! It is beautifully written by Leon and captures such traumatic moments unflinchingly as well as the hurt suffered, not only by Jesse, but by his loved ones. As we followed Leon, we also saw him grapple with confusion surrounding his sexuality and racism in the USA. As a reader, I thought that whenever something traumatic occurred which was linked to his battle with addiction or prostitution, that it would be the moment he left that world. However, he provided a more realistic account that meant that although those events occured, it didn’t necessarily mean he was able to leave them behind and instead may have meant that he fell deeper into addiction and street life.
It is a memoir that will stay with me for a long time.
Read: for a moving memoir from a Mexican- American male, reminiscent of Maya Angelou’s autobiographies 🇲🇽
NB: Thank you to NetGalley and from Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group for giving me an eARC of this book (pub. 23.08.22). I voluntarily read and reviewed it. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
August 24, 2022
That was a hard heartbreaking story. Dang, several times I wanted to stop because it hurt too much.
But then I realized it was done to Jesse who is the survivor and took the time to write it down.
This story took my breath away, literally, here I was lying in my comfortable bed, reading about, physical and mental abuse, bullying, sexual molestation, pimped out, he was just a young intelligent teenager, child of Mexican immigrants, starting with a disadvantage. He was the unlucky one who had to buy water balloons at the age of eleven.
And this was just the beginning.
Struggling with school, his sexual identity, college, addiction, and sexual encounters. Meeting lots of people with the most diverse intentions.
Watching Jesse gliding down the miserable slope called life, was absolutely heartbreaking. The lines he sniffed are countless, the pills ditto, the much-needed sex work ditto.
As a bystander, you feel powerless. It’s up to one person!
The way up is hell, it seems almost impossible!
“Why? What did I do to deserve this?”
He was already a ghost, too thin, intoxicated, with several addictions, anxiety, and depression, and he barely survived.
Walking upon the right person at the right time can make a difference.
Still, you got to do it yourself, and oh my goodness, deep bow and respect, he came from far but he did it!
“They told me to chase my recovery like I chased my dope, and I did.”
What an amazing journey, a must-read. I got a look into a completely different world.
So many lines to highlight!
“people who judge don’t matter, and people who matter don’t judge.”
There are many many ugly persons in this world, incompetent therapists, failing teachers, harassing officers, people taking what they want, limitless people. Thank goodness there are also many good people in this world, who are dedicated, loving, and caring.
I cried for Jesse and my heart glowed for him.
He found his purpose in life.
Thank you Jesse for sharing, todo el amor es para ti!
I can’t do justice to this journey with my review, I did my best!
But then I realized it was done to Jesse who is the survivor and took the time to write it down.
This story took my breath away, literally, here I was lying in my comfortable bed, reading about, physical and mental abuse, bullying, sexual molestation, pimped out, he was just a young intelligent teenager, child of Mexican immigrants, starting with a disadvantage. He was the unlucky one who had to buy water balloons at the age of eleven.
And this was just the beginning.
Struggling with school, his sexual identity, college, addiction, and sexual encounters. Meeting lots of people with the most diverse intentions.
Watching Jesse gliding down the miserable slope called life, was absolutely heartbreaking. The lines he sniffed are countless, the pills ditto, the much-needed sex work ditto.
As a bystander, you feel powerless. It’s up to one person!
The way up is hell, it seems almost impossible!
“Why? What did I do to deserve this?”
He was already a ghost, too thin, intoxicated, with several addictions, anxiety, and depression, and he barely survived.
Walking upon the right person at the right time can make a difference.
Still, you got to do it yourself, and oh my goodness, deep bow and respect, he came from far but he did it!
“They told me to chase my recovery like I chased my dope, and I did.”
What an amazing journey, a must-read. I got a look into a completely different world.
So many lines to highlight!
“people who judge don’t matter, and people who matter don’t judge.”
There are many many ugly persons in this world, incompetent therapists, failing teachers, harassing officers, people taking what they want, limitless people. Thank goodness there are also many good people in this world, who are dedicated, loving, and caring.
I cried for Jesse and my heart glowed for him.
He found his purpose in life.
Thank you Jesse for sharing, todo el amor es para ti!
I can’t do justice to this journey with my review, I did my best!
November 11, 2022
This is most difficult and intense book that I have ever read. There is really nothing wrong with the writing, it is so gut-wrenching that I had to decide whether or not to lay it down and not ever pick it up. I have read memoirs of Holocaust victims and I had never come to that point.
Jesse Leon is the son of poor Mexican-American immigrants. He tells of the huge age difference between his father when married as 60 years and his mother at only 28 years old. His father was very invested in being machismo. Neither parent was literate and that made a difference when he was growing up. Jessie Leon was bright and sent to a magnet school, but he never felt he fit in and endured a lot of bullying. But worst than that he was sexually molested by a gift store owner and threatened by his molester which led to years of continued mistreatment. Feeling numb, he turned to drugs and alcohol. Finally getting free from his abuser, he did not have emotional support, he was to afraid to tell anymore of his sexual confusion and self-enforced guilt. It was like on-going PTSD and fear, he could never truly be safe. The not-fitting in and the absolute horror of his years of being a victim, he had to hide his feelings and not being able to sort out his sexuality.
It was so painful to read that I think many people might not be able to finish the book. This book needed to be written and will help others in similar situations.
Jesse Leon is the son of poor Mexican-American immigrants. He tells of the huge age difference between his father when married as 60 years and his mother at only 28 years old. His father was very invested in being machismo. Neither parent was literate and that made a difference when he was growing up. Jessie Leon was bright and sent to a magnet school, but he never felt he fit in and endured a lot of bullying. But worst than that he was sexually molested by a gift store owner and threatened by his molester which led to years of continued mistreatment. Feeling numb, he turned to drugs and alcohol. Finally getting free from his abuser, he did not have emotional support, he was to afraid to tell anymore of his sexual confusion and self-enforced guilt. It was like on-going PTSD and fear, he could never truly be safe. The not-fitting in and the absolute horror of his years of being a victim, he had to hide his feelings and not being able to sort out his sexuality.
It was so painful to read that I think many people might not be able to finish the book. This book needed to be written and will help others in similar situations.
September 30, 2023
Wow. Blown away. This man must have more bravery in his pinkie finger than probably about 95% of the population. I can't imagine the guts it must have taken to write his story - and with such obvious honesty. I was immediately taken into his life from page 1. Can't remember the last time I was so involved in someone's story.
I searched for books along this line for a reason to attempt to understand someone close to me. Someone who was close to me I should say. This is the second I've read and while both did help me gain some insight - and at the same time absolutely broke my heart - I think this helped me to understand (just a tiny bit because I'll never be able to fully understand what someone who is a victim of assault like this goes through) what he must be dealing with.
I can't imagine how many people this book will help. I can picture it like ripples on water, helping other victims, people like me that love someone who was victimized, people simply moved to act to help in some way, and hopefully even, I really pray to God, someone who might be the person doing or thinking about victimizing someone else.
This book is priceless. I doubt it will ever get the attention I feel it deserves but I know that I'll recommend it to anyone who will listen.
I searched for books along this line for a reason to attempt to understand someone close to me. Someone who was close to me I should say. This is the second I've read and while both did help me gain some insight - and at the same time absolutely broke my heart - I think this helped me to understand (just a tiny bit because I'll never be able to fully understand what someone who is a victim of assault like this goes through) what he must be dealing with.
I can't imagine how many people this book will help. I can picture it like ripples on water, helping other victims, people like me that love someone who was victimized, people simply moved to act to help in some way, and hopefully even, I really pray to God, someone who might be the person doing or thinking about victimizing someone else.
This book is priceless. I doubt it will ever get the attention I feel it deserves but I know that I'll recommend it to anyone who will listen.
February 7, 2023
This courageous and powerful book will stay with you forever.
Jesse Leon has written a powerful, raw, and important book. It is a story that will stay with you for years to come. How often do we judge a person when we know nothing of their incomparable circumstances or the hardships they have endured? How much do we truly know about the limitations of poverty, violence, addiction, sex trafficking of children, and bigotry? We can all learn much from Jesse Leon’s emotional and powerful memoir. Written with heart, blood, and tears- I promise “I’m Not Broken” will fill you with sadness, anger, hope, and joy. You will learn, you will be horrified, and you will love this young boy and his courageous journey to manhood finding health, acceptance, and a beautiful life for himself and the people he loves. And he loves many. You will close this book and want to be a friend of Jesse’s. There is no better testimony for a book or author than that they have made a difference and Jesse Leon has done just that.
Laura L. Engel
Author of “You’ll Forget This Ever Happened- Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s
https://www.lauralengel.com
Jesse Leon has written a powerful, raw, and important book. It is a story that will stay with you for years to come. How often do we judge a person when we know nothing of their incomparable circumstances or the hardships they have endured? How much do we truly know about the limitations of poverty, violence, addiction, sex trafficking of children, and bigotry? We can all learn much from Jesse Leon’s emotional and powerful memoir. Written with heart, blood, and tears- I promise “I’m Not Broken” will fill you with sadness, anger, hope, and joy. You will learn, you will be horrified, and you will love this young boy and his courageous journey to manhood finding health, acceptance, and a beautiful life for himself and the people he loves. And he loves many. You will close this book and want to be a friend of Jesse’s. There is no better testimony for a book or author than that they have made a difference and Jesse Leon has done just that.
Laura L. Engel
Author of “You’ll Forget This Ever Happened- Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s
https://www.lauralengel.com
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