Feminist Prayers for My Daughter: Powerful Petitions for Every Stage of Her Life

by Shannon K. Evans

This book of prayers for mothers to pray for their daughters covers every age and stage of a woman's life from birth to death, imagining God in ways that most deeply connect with the feminine experience.

Genres: Spirituality, Parenting, Faith, Nonfiction, Feminism, Prayer, Religion

192 pages, Paperback

Published March 21, 2022

About the author

Shannon K. Evans is passionate about exploring deeper ways of contemplating God so that our experience of the Divine grows further loving and curious, rather than static and complacent. She is the spirituality and culture editor at the National Catholic Reporter and the author of the books “Feminist Prayers for My Daughter: Powerful Petitions for Every Stage of Her Life” and “Rewilding Motherhood: Your Path to an Empowered Feminine Spirituality.”

With interest in ecofeminism, contemplative practice, and social change, Shannon leads workshops and retreats across the country that spark curiosity and compassion.

Having previously lived in Indonesia for two years, Shannon loves to travel, but is happiest at home on the Iowa prairie with her family and beloved chickens.

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll admit it - I hesitated to read this one. I don't have daughters and struggled with infertility before having my son. Because of this, parenting and mothering books can be triggering. But not Shannon's. The prayers are poetry - beautifully and intentionally crafted. The prayers cover everything from genuine and deep female friendships to fortieth birthdays and equal pay. I felt so seen in each one.

Read as a whole, her words and dreams for her daughter put words to dreams, desires, and gratitude I have for myself but never fully articulated. I'm so glad I have this in hard copy to have as a reference. I've already found myself taking pictures of her words to share with friends in moments when my own words don't feel fully adequate.

Just beautiful and would be a meaningful present for anyone who has a daughter or is a daughter.

[Aimee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve already filled this book with so many post-it note tabs.
Such uplifting and inspiring messages for daughters in different periods of growth.
Touches on non-binary, sexual harassment, healthy boundaries, body acceptance, insecurity, womanhood, friendships, finding her voice, injustice, and milestones.

[Lindsay Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book as though praying for ME and it is gorgeous. I plan to use it in my daily spiritual practice going forward. Thank you Shannon.

[Rosemary]

As my daughter grows and we let her fly more and more, I know there will be times when I’m feeling so many things that I need concrete words to channel those feelings. And this book is just that.

Whether you consider yourself religious or non religious, spiritual or not, whatever your politics, and for anyone in between... If you love a little girl in your life, get this book.

It’s divided into prayers for:
✨relationships
✨embodiment
✨spirituality
✨womanhood
✨wholeness
✨justice
✨equality
✨milestones

There are prayers I hope I don’t need to use (for miscarriage and infant loss) and prayers I’m sure I’ll memorize as my daughter keeps growing (for curiosity, for raising her voice, for handling peer pressure).

✨One of my favorites is from the section on milestones- prayer for learning to walk: “…let me not caution her, as society is wont to do with our little girls, but encourage her strength and mastery. Let her hear me say ‘You can do it!’ far more than she hears me say ‘Be careful!’ May my daughter celebrate her accomplishment and marvel at her body. May I never forget the look on her face as she does. And may I see it a thousand more times in the years to come.” ✨

[Olivia]

My male therapist actually sent one of the prayers to me, and I knew I needed to read the rest of it.
As I read this book, I thought of the women in my life. I thought of the daughters of my friends, the ones I get to see grow up close and from a distance. I thought of my female clients.
The prayers in this book are so sweet and gentle and hit on all the aspects of womanhood and personhood. It made me teary-eyed thinking of the women and girls in my life who are worthy because God has made them that way.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

This lovely little book has provided me with such encouragement and challenge. It offers beautiful prayers, many that I have desperately needed but never had the ability to put into words. As a mom of a teen daughter, I have been brought to tears praying these beautiful prayers over her as well as myself!

[Shanda Scherdin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a rich collection of prayers! I LOVE how Shannon includes so many names for God. The prayers are truly an expression of my heart for my daughter/all daughters and honestly even for myself. There is a prayer for turning 40, which I did recently and reading it was a balm. Grateful for this gift to the world and all the ripples that will come from it!

[Yolanda Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a breath of fresh air. It reached me in a deep place, soothing and enlivening. I was grateful to engage these prayers from a position of both joy and grief, celebration and lament. Not only was I able to breathe these prayers for my daughters, but to speak them over my younger self, knowing God is not limited by our perceived timelines.

[Michelle Maher · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s rare for a book to enter your life at the perfect moment. This was was both such a rarity and an answer to a prayer.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best example of spiritual writing I've read in years. Every word was thoughtful, wise, and carefully chosen. I'll be reading this one again and again, both for my daughter and for myself.

[Chloe Hall Salmeron · Rating 5 out of 5]

will forever keep on revisiting this <3

[joyce w. laudon · Rating 4 out of 5]

In these pages are musings and prayers that uniquely reflect the lives of girls and women, mothers and daughters. Some of the topic headings include Relationships, Spirituality, Wholeness, Justice and Milestones, among others. Each of these topics receives about ten prayers; for example for supportive female friendships or for body acceptance, or for vocational choice. A couple of sample quotes: “When she is tempted to limit what she eats, remind her that her body is worthy of nourishment” or “May my daughter have a vision of the woman she is to become, and may no one convince her it is not enough.”

Dip in and out of this title. Readers will find something to think about in these pages.

Many thanks to Baker Academic and Brazos Press for this title. All opinions are my own.

[Emily Patterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feminist Prayers for My Daughter is so much more than prayers from a mother to a daughter. These prayers are poems; they are love letters; they are miniature manifestos. From “for body acceptance” to “for starting kindergarten,” they give language to the sacred of the everyday, as well as comfort and wisdom for milestones and transitions. As I read Shannon’s words, I thought of my young daughter, but also of my sisters, my mother, my friends, myself, and my earlier selves. This collection makes space for uncertainty, beauty, grief, and hope; it honors the uniqueness of our identities and spiritual journeys while also commemorating what brings us together as women. This is a book I will savor and return to as a trusted friend.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one's for the cycle breakers! Since deconstructing my faith, I've also disentangled spiritual practices such as prayer. The concept of prayer is still hard for me sometimes, and I don't always know what to say or how to say it. This book was a breath of fresh air. The prayers were heart-felt and honest. It's the kind of thing I want to read again and again, maybe reading it aloud as a prayer for not only my daughter, but also for myself. The first prayer had me in tears--may we all find friendships like that. Highly recommend if you are in need of borrowed prayers or borrowed words these days.

[Julia Rocchi · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a mother who has two sons -- and as a woman who wanted a daughter -- I approached Feminist Prayers for My Daughter with caution because I thought it might poke the bruise a bit too hard. My experience couldn't have been farther from that fear. Through the lens of addressing her daughter, Evans has written a book about how we all embody divine femininity, and in doing so she's made it applicable to anyone who identifies as a parent, a child, a lover, a spouse, a friend, or simply a loving human. A lovely read for anyone looking for a contemplative moment and a contemporary take on nurturing a relationship with God.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a gift this book is.
I prayed these prayers for my daughter here in the present. I prayed these prayers for my daughter in the future.
I prayed these prayers for myself in the past, myself in the present, and for myself in the future.
I prayed these prayers and in them saw a reflection of so many women and our vast and wide experiences.
Thank you for the richness of these prayers.
I read this book but I am certainly not done with this book.

[Janson Long · Rating 5 out of 5]

So grateful for these prayers from Shannon K Evans. I happened to give birth to my first child (a girl) this month, and these prayers have been such a source of encouragement. They’ve also helped me process the slew of emotions that comes with becoming a parent, especially the parent of a daughter. And I highly recommend them for men/fathers too! My husband has read some aloud for us while baby breastfeeds and has deeply enjoyed them as well. Cannot recommend highly enough.

[Mallory Nygard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some beautiful, some messy, but prayer and faith and life are messy so, overall, a really good read

[Piumi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this. Thank you, Sarah 🤍

[C McGinnis · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mom of two daughters and 1 son who will have women he cares about, this book helps put into words what I’ve been wanting to say and speak over my kids and other females in my life. It helps put anxiety to rest with truth filled prayers that empower me and help me empower others. Highly recommend for anyone not just moms of daughters

[Raicheal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this holding my newborn daughter, and found words that were for my mother, too, and for my youngest sister, and more than once for me. These prayers are tender and challenging. Some are for specific days and circumstances and others are as impossibly expansive as trying to imagine God. I’m grateful, and commend them as worth your attention.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was everything I never knew I needed. These prayers gave words to my heart's deepest, unspoken desires for my three girls. As I finished each prayer I realized that the words were as much for my daughters as they were for me. If you have a special girl in your life, or if you are in need of beautiful prayers for yourself, then this is the book for you.

[Amy Living Well Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

My fear is that a lot of people wouldn’t pick this one up because of the title, which is a shame because the prayers in this book are incredible. Incredible. As I skimmed through the book when I first received it, I started weeping reading the milestone prayer “for her fortieth birthday,” and sent it to my best friend, since both of us turned forty this past year. She sent me back a picture of herself sobbing. 😂 I can’t tell you how much I loved that—both of us in our kitchens, hundreds of miles apart, connected by these powerful, beautiful words.

This collection of prayers by Shannon Evans, a writer in the contemplative Catholic tradition, includes everything from prayers for supportive female friendship, handling peer pressure, for becoming a mother, for body acceptance, for protecting the vulnerable, for leaving home…way too many to list, but this book is chock full of powerful prayers to pray for our daughters, our friends, and all the women in our lives in the areas of relationships, wholeness, embodiment, spirituality, justice, equality, womanhood, and milestones. My personal favorite aspect of this book is the names by which God is addressed in these prayers. They are beautiful, creative, and thoughtful. I love this prayer book, y’all, and I cannot recommend it enough.

I resonated deeply with the term “Orphaned Believer” from @sara.billups’s book because I often feel like an orphan in my faith journey. I’m a bit too progressive for the conservative Christianity of my educational background but too conservative for more progressive Christian circles. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way, but it does nonetheless make for more nuanced and complicated book thoughts. 🤷🏼‍♀️ A few of the prayers in this book were more theologically progressive than I’m comfortable with in my own faith journey, but that’s okay. I was still deeply enriched by so much of this book, and it will hold a special spot on my shelf as a way to commune with God about my precious gift of a daughter. I’d love to hear your thoughts when you read this one!

[Camden Morgante · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shannon is a Catholic contemplative writer whose first book, Rewilding Motherhood, offers spiritual practices for the motherhood journey. In this book, Shannon shares “Feminist Prayers for My Daughter” in the categories of relationships, embodiment, spirituality, womanhood, wholeness, justice, equality, and milestones. With the renewed attention to contemplative prayers and spiritual formation, it’s surprising that this book is the first of its kind in its focus on prayers for mothers to say specifically for their daughters.

Each chapter begins with a new name to address God, such as “Everpresent Strength, “Marvelous Liberator”, and “Divine Releaser”. Some of the prayers I loved the most: prayers for a shame-free sexual ethic; for marriage partnership; for getting her butt in counseling; for seeing women lead in church; and for curiosity. I like that each prayer was brief, about one page, and I can see myself reaching for this book and meditating on each prayer as my daughter and I reach milestones in parenthood.

These prayers are from a particular spiritual leaning, so this book is best suited for readers who identify as spiritual, progressive, and, of course, feminist. If that fits you, even if you don’t have a daughter, you may love this book.

“Feminist Prayers for My Daughter” includes empowering prayers and blessings for your daughter to live a life of freedom and flourishing—and for you in your reparenting.

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my review.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

The other night, I was up with sick kids and then couldn’t sleep. Foggy brained, I started reading this, borrowing her words to pray over my daughters, myself, and other women I love. I so appreciate the obvious time and care she took in crafting these beautiful, rich prayers!
 
Evans has prayers for a range of topics that are relevant at various stages of a girl’s/woman’s life, including milestones like starting kindergarten, for menarche (first menstruation), for leaving home, for her wedding day, for childbirth, for miscarriage, for menopause, and for times of tragedy. She also addresses issues such as body image, gender and sexuality, singleness, decision making, truth telling, justice, healthy boundaries, doing her inner work, loving her enemy, representation, and even “for when she is mansplained.”
 
As you may know if you’ve been around here for a while, I am extremely picky about prayer books and devotionals, but this is one I highly recommend without reservation. It’s not one that has a few stand-out beauties that resonate; each prayer is packed full of wisdom, insight, and goodness that gives words to pray for what we may not have known how to express. It’s the perfect book to return to again and again and would make a beautiful gift for women in general, baby showers, Mother’s Day and milestone birthdays.

[Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good intentions...

[Kay OBrien · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is golden, destined to be a keeper; when read, considered, and applied in small bites, even transformative. Ok, I admit to a prejudicial perspective upfront. Through my relationship with her, Shannon K. Evans continually inspires and challenges me. Still, this is a book we need. At least I did. At 70, I needed words for some of my life passages, and for some of my present angst. More than that, I needed an expansion of my small view, my language, my trust in One who surpasses mystery, indeed even created it. The names of God embraced at the beginning of each prayer were enough to create in me a thirst for a more intimate knowing, a more relational faith.

Throw aside your definitions of feminism and dive into these prayers with open mind and heart. I predict you will be glad you did.

[kate!! · Rating 4 out of 5]

great writing and a great message??? sign me up

[Josh Olds · Rating 5 out of 5]

The summary attached to Feminist Prayers for My Daughter reads that the book is a “book of prayers for mothers.” While that emphasis on its intended audience does show through—Shannon K. Evans is a mother of five, after all—I read and prayed through these prayers as a father of a daughter and found it transformative. The summary goes on to say that the prayers cover “every age and stage of a woman’s life from birth to death, imagining God in ways that most deeply connect with the feminine experience.” We have this cultural picture of God, too often, as the White bearded man in the sky—a Zeus of Renaissance Europe made in the image of Michelangelo. Evans subverts that false cultural image and replaces it with one that’s more biblical, one that realizes how femininity and womanhood are reflections of God’s image. This is important for mothers—that they see themselves and their daughters reflected in the imago Dei—but also important for fathers, that they understand their daughters for who they are: a reflection of the strength, power, and majesty of God.

Feminist Prayers for My Daughter is very deserving of the “feminist” descriptor. Evans (and Brazos Press, her publisher) makes no apology for this and offers no defense against a certain contingent of Christian thinking that perceives “feminism” to be in contradiction to the faith. Evans simply refuses to play in the culture wars altogether, and in this offers a firm lesson to the daughters for whom she is praying that they should never have to defend their right to exist as they are. She also implicitly offers a critique against the conservative lampoon of feminism, portraying a feminism that is altogether feminine, one that rejoices in childbirth, celebrates menarche, and commemorates menopause.

Shannon K. Evans is a writer in the contemplative Catholic tradition, the author of Rewilding Motherhood, and a speaker on topics related to motherhood, prayer, and justice. That makes her the perfect person to pen these prayers. Feminist Prayers for My Daughter is divided into eight parts, each with ten prayers that can be prayed in 3-5 minutes. Not every prayer is meant for every person or every occasion, enabling them to be specific enough to deal with specific circumstances while yet being general enough to apply to a wide number of people.

The themes of the prayers include: relationships, embodiment, spirituality, womanhood, wholeness, justice, equality, and milestones. Evans’ words are holy and poetic. They are prayers but also devotions. For myself, whose daughter is still very young, many of these prayers were reminders of the challenges and joys my daughter will face as she grows up.

My lone quibble is that, in the prayer entitled “for when gender boxes are too small,” Evans continues to use female pronouns rather than move to gender-inclusive terms. It’s a small thing, and the very fact the book includes a prayer for those struggling with how culture perceives and defines femininity is absolutely amazing, but I can’t help but think that a small change to a larger pronoun “box” would help exemplify what was being said in the prayer’s title.

I grew up in a Christian tradition that was strongly suspicious of anything liturgical, believing it could give way to ritualism. Praying the prayer of another was not something often done. But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized how God works through other people. And I think of how Jesus said that when you do not know what to pray, the Holy Spirit will intercede for you. I can’t help but think that, for many, the Holy Spirit is working through Evans to give readers the words they wouldn’t otherwise have. Prayer changes us and Evans’ prayers give us words to reflect in ways we might not have on our own. Feminist Prayers for My Daughter is a beautiful and holy work.

[Olivia Phillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the title of this book may feel off-putting to some, this book written by Shannon K. Evans has important words of compassion, wisdom, and hope for women of all ages.

Reading Level: Easy to Moderate
This book is written for adults, but is broken into concise prayers that are easily approached by all readers. Portions of the text include language is rooted in theological terminology, and may require a dictionary search for those who are unfamiliar.

Faith Engagement Level: Easy/Moderate to Digest
While this book is generally easy to digest, these prayers will challenge the ways in which you think about God, women, and your patterns of faith.

Reader Age Recommended: Ages 16+
Contrary to the popular negative understanding of feminism, this book serves to bridge the gap between the flowery language of feminine faith and the women who feel alienated by these softer expressions of faith.

WHY SHOULD I READ THIS BOOK?
Admittedly, the intended audience for this book is rather limited to those who have daughters. This being said, the nature of this book invites the reader to engage in their faith - whether you have a daughter, or not. The prayers in this book range in nature from simple and sweet prayers for the confidence of young daughters, to prayers for the Menarche, to prayers for their deathbed and dignity as women.

One of the prayers which is most powerful within this book was written for elders, titled "For Aging" (10). This single prayer gives more dignity to the aging population than any I have previously read as a liturgy - and will be one that I will likely adapt for congregational use in the future. Likewise, the prayer "For Loving Her Enemy" (25), was rich in it's expression of compassion, hope, and the setting of boundaries.

WHAT DID THIS BOOK CHALLENGE ME TO DO?
While I know that there is feminine language in the Scriptures that refer to God and the Divine Personhood, it is an entirely different experience to pray in a way that is reflective of that knowledge. I may not have a daughter, but I found myself challenged to consider the way in which I express my faith as a daughter of God, and as a minister of the Gospel. Each of the powerful petitions in this text have the potential to renew and challenge the way in which we see God, the world around us, and ourselves.