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A Cult of One: How to Deprogram Yourself from Narcissistic Abuse
Are you truly taking care of yourself?
Or are you too busy taking care of everyone else?
So many of us find it easier to love other people than to love ourselves. We struggle to put our own needs first and have a hard time asking for what we want, let alone going after it. Instead, we attach ourselves to selfish people, trying over and over to win love from those who simply can't offer it.
If that sounds familiar, you may be the victim of narcissistic abuse.
In A Cult of One, Richard Grannon exposes the insidious effects of narcissistic abuse and shares his own winding road to recognition and recovery. Through martial arts, mysticism, psychedelics, and psychology, spanning over four continents and forty-four years of life, Grannon discovered a systematic discipline for healing. Join him as he explains step by step—with courage, humor, and optimism—how to forge your own path to a better life.
Or are you too busy taking care of everyone else?
So many of us find it easier to love other people than to love ourselves. We struggle to put our own needs first and have a hard time asking for what we want, let alone going after it. Instead, we attach ourselves to selfish people, trying over and over to win love from those who simply can't offer it.
If that sounds familiar, you may be the victim of narcissistic abuse.
In A Cult of One, Richard Grannon exposes the insidious effects of narcissistic abuse and shares his own winding road to recognition and recovery. Through martial arts, mysticism, psychedelics, and psychology, spanning over four continents and forty-four years of life, Grannon discovered a systematic discipline for healing. Join him as he explains step by step—with courage, humor, and optimism—how to forge your own path to a better life.
158 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 6, 2022
78 people are currently reading
793 people want to read
About the author
Richard Grannon
6 books73 followersI am passionate about helping others defend themselves, get back on their feet, and finally free themselves from narcissistic abuse. Drawing on numerous forms of psychotherapy, including NLP, cognitive behavioral therapy, zen meditation, psychodynamics, and more, my unique methodology offers a direct, practical solution to help narcissistic abuse victims reclaim their self-worth.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
September 11, 2022
Extremely honest
Read this in one sitting. Very honest about how hard the journey to your true self is, which i appreciate. He describes co dependency perfectly. Thanks Richard!
Read this in one sitting. Very honest about how hard the journey to your true self is, which i appreciate. He describes co dependency perfectly. Thanks Richard!
December 4, 2022
Wasn't sure what to expect from this after watching many of Grannon's videos. Very different medium for him and much of this work is autobiographical. Learned about his background and so much of his life work makes sense now. Those who live through trauma of domestic abuse have insight into the complicated and messy journey of getting out and recovering.
My take aways: doing small, consistent effort each day helps; learning techniques to corral your brain's thought patterns is a process and hard work, facing the uncomfortable aspects of our own vulnerability is key, and developing a strong moral philosophy will be tools to grow towards healthier self that can show up with more compassion in the world and in relationships.
I confess I appreciate his videos more and feel he is able to convey more through those. But good effort to try and condense his work into the written word.
My take aways: doing small, consistent effort each day helps; learning techniques to corral your brain's thought patterns is a process and hard work, facing the uncomfortable aspects of our own vulnerability is key, and developing a strong moral philosophy will be tools to grow towards healthier self that can show up with more compassion in the world and in relationships.
I confess I appreciate his videos more and feel he is able to convey more through those. But good effort to try and condense his work into the written word.
December 7, 2022
Thank you to Goodreads and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
My Selling Pitch:
Do you want to read about the interaction between codependency and narcissism from a man who claims to be a codependent but seems to fall more into the misogynist and narcissist territory?
Pre-reading:
Psychology fascinates me. Never even heard of this man before, but let’s see.
Thick of it:
Opens with a humble brag.
I appreciate the book’s specific definitions and how it’s only going to speak on a specific type of codependency.
Oh my god, thank you. Exactly. Every boy obsessed with martial arts has a horrible inferiority complex.
Interesting, because that doesn’t strike me as narcissistic abuse. That strikes me as someone extremely insecure who is desperate to be seen and understood and validated. It sounds more like incompatible love languages.
If you don’t like the people you are with, leave. It is not their job to change for you. People don’t owe you healing or betterment just because you see potential in them. People don’t owe you improvement or progress.
Oh, bestie, we are dipping into misogyny territory.
Proper boundaries are you responding to other people, not asking other people to respond to you.
Not a poison pen effort, but only criticizes her behavior and doesn’t even acknowledge the part that he played in the relationship’s failing. Ok.
Meanwhile, he’s saying he doesn’t have any self-worth, yet takes the time to tell you how good at making money he is because money is power, and he has power so he is useful and valuable to society. That’s not no self-worth. Maybe a warped one, but it’s not no self-worth.
I think this is a narcissist, trying to justify his misogyny.
Again, just going back to the not a poison pen effort, but he feels the need to mention that she has no father figure and implies that that’s why she’s promiscuous.
I think it’s interesting how many books about narcissists end up being written by narcissists.
Oh bestie, just say you’re a misogynist. What is it with insecure men and period blood?
Hey bestie, here’s an idea. Maybe don’t turn to models. Maybe people who make their careers and living off of physical beauty are not who you want to turn to in this scenario. Weird that. Funny that. (To then later go on and preach that society is bereft of morals, but this man largely associates with gym bros and models.)
This man really out here telling us about his prophetic, alien civilization dreams, and still maintaining that he’s a codependent victim, and not a narcissist with delusions of grandeur. OK.
The amount of secondhand embarrassment this book has triggered in me.
Oh hell no. You don’t need a god to top you 😂 Not believing in a god doesn’t mean that you believe that you yourself are god.
Hard pass on all this religious shit, sir. Submission is not my vibe, but you hold onto that if it makes you feel better. Lack of god is not an admission of universal spontaneity and randomness either.
Oubliette was a new word for me.
My guy, tell me you’re a misogynist more. Don’t talk about other people like that. What the fuck is wrong with you?
All this strikes me as is white man is angry that women don’t drop and worship him for doing absolutely nothing more than exist 😂
Yes, good. Small talk doesn’t exist. There’s always info to glean from it.
Oh, I don’t know about this racism claim coming from a white man saying that it should be a privilege for those being discriminated against to explain and show why they shouldn’t be discriminated against. I feel like that’s extremely problematic.
It’s so tough to rate this because there are pieces of this book that I feel like people could find useful, but I also think he’s a twat. So like kind of shit as a self-help book because there are attitudes in here that you really shouldn’t emulate, but from a psychological perspective absolutely fascinating if not a little irritating.
I think the emotional literacy exercise could be very valuable for people.
I don’t know if anger is truly helpful there.
Oh, hard pass on the femininity is passivity. Fuck right off with that.
Abrogate-new word
People using slavery to mean anything other than actual slavery always rubs me the wrong way
Post-reading:
I think he’s a misogynistic twat, but that doesn’t mean there’s ~nothing~ valuable here. I think it’s shit as a self-help book I think it’s excellent for psychological spectatorism. And if somehow you don’t agree with me, I would just like to remind you that this man really sat there and told us about his prophetic alien dreams for multiple paragraphs without a shred of embarrassment, and also took the time to claim in a way that he can’t be sued for libel that his ex put period blood in his rice.
The book is well written. It’s not painful to read. It is a bit irritating to read through at points, but definitely readable. It’s something I would recommend to people who like to be armchair psychologists, but nothing I would recommend to people actually in need of help.
Who should read this:
Armchair psychologists
Do I want to reread this:
No
Similar books:
I don’t think I’ve read anything similar. I don’t really read this genre.
My Selling Pitch:
Do you want to read about the interaction between codependency and narcissism from a man who claims to be a codependent but seems to fall more into the misogynist and narcissist territory?
Pre-reading:
Psychology fascinates me. Never even heard of this man before, but let’s see.
Thick of it:
Opens with a humble brag.
I appreciate the book’s specific definitions and how it’s only going to speak on a specific type of codependency.
Oh my god, thank you. Exactly. Every boy obsessed with martial arts has a horrible inferiority complex.
Interesting, because that doesn’t strike me as narcissistic abuse. That strikes me as someone extremely insecure who is desperate to be seen and understood and validated. It sounds more like incompatible love languages.
If you don’t like the people you are with, leave. It is not their job to change for you. People don’t owe you healing or betterment just because you see potential in them. People don’t owe you improvement or progress.
Oh, bestie, we are dipping into misogyny territory.
Proper boundaries are you responding to other people, not asking other people to respond to you.
Not a poison pen effort, but only criticizes her behavior and doesn’t even acknowledge the part that he played in the relationship’s failing. Ok.
Meanwhile, he’s saying he doesn’t have any self-worth, yet takes the time to tell you how good at making money he is because money is power, and he has power so he is useful and valuable to society. That’s not no self-worth. Maybe a warped one, but it’s not no self-worth.
I think this is a narcissist, trying to justify his misogyny.
Again, just going back to the not a poison pen effort, but he feels the need to mention that she has no father figure and implies that that’s why she’s promiscuous.
I think it’s interesting how many books about narcissists end up being written by narcissists.
Oh bestie, just say you’re a misogynist. What is it with insecure men and period blood?
Hey bestie, here’s an idea. Maybe don’t turn to models. Maybe people who make their careers and living off of physical beauty are not who you want to turn to in this scenario. Weird that. Funny that. (To then later go on and preach that society is bereft of morals, but this man largely associates with gym bros and models.)
This man really out here telling us about his prophetic, alien civilization dreams, and still maintaining that he’s a codependent victim, and not a narcissist with delusions of grandeur. OK.
The amount of secondhand embarrassment this book has triggered in me.
Oh hell no. You don’t need a god to top you 😂 Not believing in a god doesn’t mean that you believe that you yourself are god.
Hard pass on all this religious shit, sir. Submission is not my vibe, but you hold onto that if it makes you feel better. Lack of god is not an admission of universal spontaneity and randomness either.
Oubliette was a new word for me.
My guy, tell me you’re a misogynist more. Don’t talk about other people like that. What the fuck is wrong with you?
All this strikes me as is white man is angry that women don’t drop and worship him for doing absolutely nothing more than exist 😂
Yes, good. Small talk doesn’t exist. There’s always info to glean from it.
Oh, I don’t know about this racism claim coming from a white man saying that it should be a privilege for those being discriminated against to explain and show why they shouldn’t be discriminated against. I feel like that’s extremely problematic.
It’s so tough to rate this because there are pieces of this book that I feel like people could find useful, but I also think he’s a twat. So like kind of shit as a self-help book because there are attitudes in here that you really shouldn’t emulate, but from a psychological perspective absolutely fascinating if not a little irritating.
I think the emotional literacy exercise could be very valuable for people.
I don’t know if anger is truly helpful there.
Oh, hard pass on the femininity is passivity. Fuck right off with that.
Abrogate-new word
People using slavery to mean anything other than actual slavery always rubs me the wrong way
Post-reading:
I think he’s a misogynistic twat, but that doesn’t mean there’s ~nothing~ valuable here. I think it’s shit as a self-help book I think it’s excellent for psychological spectatorism. And if somehow you don’t agree with me, I would just like to remind you that this man really sat there and told us about his prophetic alien dreams for multiple paragraphs without a shred of embarrassment, and also took the time to claim in a way that he can’t be sued for libel that his ex put period blood in his rice.
The book is well written. It’s not painful to read. It is a bit irritating to read through at points, but definitely readable. It’s something I would recommend to people who like to be armchair psychologists, but nothing I would recommend to people actually in need of help.
Who should read this:
Armchair psychologists
Do I want to reread this:
No
Similar books:
I don’t think I’ve read anything similar. I don’t really read this genre.
June 5, 2024
Not quite a memoir, a cumbersome self-help section. A misleading title. If you looked up this book, try this one instead:
***Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents***
***Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents***
November 12, 2022
Its kind of all over the place and not cohesive but I did learn some things from it. Learned a term called neurotic naivete. Learned how codependency develops.
February 22, 2025
I feel conflicted after reading Richard Grannon's book. I was introduced to him via a few of his videos on TikTok and was intrigued by some of how he framed narcissistic abuse recovery. I feel like the title of this book is misleading, its not a recovery manual, but his autobiographical journey of walking out his own childhood trauma and what has contributed to his own healing journey which includes a rich and diverse exploration into martial arts, NLP, travels, therapy, and what he calls studies in psychology. Nevertheless, I can find nothing online that speaks to his education and what gives him credibility outside of his own experience. While there is nothing wrong with being self taught and there is no doubt that Grannon is highly intelligent. There is still something about Grannon's work that leaves me unsettled. I am in agreement that our consumer culture contributes to the difficulties in NAR, yet go to his website and you will find that he is promoting 'Fast Track' course and in 2.5 hours you will have the answers to NAR. That is one of his blind spots and is misleading... actually it is contradictory to what he shares in this book about his own healing journey. There are no short cuts and according to his own story he has spent decades discovering his own understanding of how trauma affected him. While I believe he has a lot to contribute to the conversation around narcissism and abuse, I still find his 'brand' unsettling'. I have to transparent, I am growing increasingly uncomfortable with coaches infiltrating the trauma recovery community. Therapists are highly vetted. We go through master's or doctoral programs and an additional 3-4 years of internship before we are licensed and then spend years in consultation, continuing education and doing our own work. This provides the public assurance that there is an avenue of accountability if harm is done in healing contexts, the coaching field has no such assurance and when vulnerable and wounded people get hurt, there is no recourse other than to complain online. Coaches are supposed to be addressing the here and now; while 99% of the time trauma recovery is linked to childhood injuries. While I admit that the psychological field was behind the eight ball when it comes to narcissistic abuse recovery and we have to be grateful to the many coaches that provided support when therapists/counselors were unfamiliar with the dynamics. I am going to end with this thought, the arena of 'self-help' is just that, self-help. Yes it can be great for certain struggles and make information accessible so educate yourselves, but trauma recovery and especially narcissistic abuse recovery really should be done in the context of a therapeutic relationship. The depths of injury that it leaves and how to walk it out requires a significant investment of time for permanent change. I gave this book 3 stars because Grannon is a good communicator and I don't believe people will walk away from his book thinking recovery is a 2.5 hour strategy, but an ongoing growth journey. This I believe Grannon articulates effectively.
February 13, 2023
Anything and everything but how to deprogram yourself from narcissistic abuse (except for a few key words dropped every now and then, some of which are concepts he had made up). It’s a long narcissistic monologue that should have been categorised as an autobiography.
An example of this is the chapter on ‘How to “Trauma Bond” A Child’. It is just a recollection of his own childhood. After his recent events with Sam Vaknin, any codependent would combine the events and find it clear to see that Grannon is ironically an unaware narcissist. It is evident he is still faking it til he makes it and has not gotten that much further from when he began his first video on narcissistic abuse by taking concepts from online forums. Do not expect anything you probably would not have already come across here. The concepts he does share are just poorly taken from others like Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD (from the original creator of the 4F model).
Some suggestions that actually offer what the book promises for anybody that will be inevitably be disappointed by the false advertising:
Complex PTSD by Pete Walker
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
Healing from Caretaking by Margalis Fjelstad
Books by Sam Vaknin (there are dozens available)
An example of this is the chapter on ‘How to “Trauma Bond” A Child’. It is just a recollection of his own childhood. After his recent events with Sam Vaknin, any codependent would combine the events and find it clear to see that Grannon is ironically an unaware narcissist. It is evident he is still faking it til he makes it and has not gotten that much further from when he began his first video on narcissistic abuse by taking concepts from online forums. Do not expect anything you probably would not have already come across here. The concepts he does share are just poorly taken from others like Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD (from the original creator of the 4F model).
Some suggestions that actually offer what the book promises for anybody that will be inevitably be disappointed by the false advertising:
Complex PTSD by Pete Walker
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
Healing from Caretaking by Margalis Fjelstad
Books by Sam Vaknin (there are dozens available)
January 20, 2025
Richard Grannon has written a strange and I think quite wonderful book. Despite the incongruity between title and content (it’s more like a memoir than a ‘how-to’ book) I delight in its unconventional stye and asymmetric shape. The life-writing genre seems to be evolving and merging now with online communities of healing - I think this is a powerful move away from formal mental health systems where the fixation on clinical models can often stigmatise and re-traumatise people. Yes, this approach to healing does have its pitfalls, but Grannon acknowledges those pitfalls and, even better, locates them within the larger historic moment of nihilism. It’s an excellent prompt for both personal and collective/cultural reflection.
I’m one of no doubt countless people indebted to Grannon for his work on youtube. There’s nothing quite like narcissistic abuse for wounding the soul and obliterating your faith in humanity, and Grannon embodies this knowledge with equal measures of horror, compassion and sharp black humour. His voice is authentic and unique in the narcissism arena for a few reasons, a most important one being: his hard-won insight never descends into indulgent victimhood. Instead, he recognises codependency as an almost equal role in the dance of narcissistic abuse. This is not just refreshing. It’s a vital key for getting on with your life.
Drawing on the clinical work of Sam Vaknin and others, Grannon sheds light on the aetiology of both narcissism and codependency. I for one find this kind of dissection incredibly helpful for gaining objectivity and distance from the otherwise overwhelming heartbreak of narcissistic abuse and its repercussions in our lives. From my notes: "Codependent people have an extremely weak self because eradicating themselves and their sense of self is a survival response to the predatory environment in which they were raised." Also: "True codependents haunt their own lives."
I also love that Grannon does not exclusively view these issues through a clinical lens, but rather weaves and follows them through the analysis of his personal experience, attachment theory, cultural phenomena, martial arts and embodiment, religion and spirituality, moral philosophy, NLP and the humanistic traditions. - All in a highly relatable, conversational tone. My only real criticism is that this rich and meandering succession of ideas is generally underdeveloped, particularly the last two chapters, in which Grannon busts out his tool kit in a shockingly laconic way.
A favourite takeaway is the term ‘neurotic naivete’, which Grannon coins to describe our tendency to just blunder forth in denial in relationships (and out of them), believing that love will prevail, despite repeatedly running into narcissistic abuse and displays of dark triad behaviour. Time to update the browser, people.
Another favourite point is made in the book's final pages, where Grannon mentions that our engagement with institutions, religion, ideals themselves, can all be tainted by codependency - this subconscious thirst for a tyrant to whom we can hopefully yield. Sweet authority: there is no greater relief from the terror and exhaustion of self-responsibility. This was such a potent prompt for self-interrogation for me. - Where else in my life has the pattern of co-dependency showed up, I wondered, misguiding my thoughts and deeds?
These kinds of questions have lingered long after the reading, forming new mental habits for me. And the lingering resonance of Grannon’s story has been a rich accompaniment to my incessant absorption of theory and philosophy around this compelling subject. I hope Grannon’s ongoing output on youtube, etc. holds to this current calibre, for as long as he wants to stay in this coaching and teaching game. He deserves the success, and he is driving a vital, robust and deeply healing discussion for thousands of people who need it.
I’m one of no doubt countless people indebted to Grannon for his work on youtube. There’s nothing quite like narcissistic abuse for wounding the soul and obliterating your faith in humanity, and Grannon embodies this knowledge with equal measures of horror, compassion and sharp black humour. His voice is authentic and unique in the narcissism arena for a few reasons, a most important one being: his hard-won insight never descends into indulgent victimhood. Instead, he recognises codependency as an almost equal role in the dance of narcissistic abuse. This is not just refreshing. It’s a vital key for getting on with your life.
Drawing on the clinical work of Sam Vaknin and others, Grannon sheds light on the aetiology of both narcissism and codependency. I for one find this kind of dissection incredibly helpful for gaining objectivity and distance from the otherwise overwhelming heartbreak of narcissistic abuse and its repercussions in our lives. From my notes: "Codependent people have an extremely weak self because eradicating themselves and their sense of self is a survival response to the predatory environment in which they were raised." Also: "True codependents haunt their own lives."
I also love that Grannon does not exclusively view these issues through a clinical lens, but rather weaves and follows them through the analysis of his personal experience, attachment theory, cultural phenomena, martial arts and embodiment, religion and spirituality, moral philosophy, NLP and the humanistic traditions. - All in a highly relatable, conversational tone. My only real criticism is that this rich and meandering succession of ideas is generally underdeveloped, particularly the last two chapters, in which Grannon busts out his tool kit in a shockingly laconic way.
A favourite takeaway is the term ‘neurotic naivete’, which Grannon coins to describe our tendency to just blunder forth in denial in relationships (and out of them), believing that love will prevail, despite repeatedly running into narcissistic abuse and displays of dark triad behaviour. Time to update the browser, people.
Another favourite point is made in the book's final pages, where Grannon mentions that our engagement with institutions, religion, ideals themselves, can all be tainted by codependency - this subconscious thirst for a tyrant to whom we can hopefully yield. Sweet authority: there is no greater relief from the terror and exhaustion of self-responsibility. This was such a potent prompt for self-interrogation for me. - Where else in my life has the pattern of co-dependency showed up, I wondered, misguiding my thoughts and deeds?
These kinds of questions have lingered long after the reading, forming new mental habits for me. And the lingering resonance of Grannon’s story has been a rich accompaniment to my incessant absorption of theory and philosophy around this compelling subject. I hope Grannon’s ongoing output on youtube, etc. holds to this current calibre, for as long as he wants to stay in this coaching and teaching game. He deserves the success, and he is driving a vital, robust and deeply healing discussion for thousands of people who need it.
April 18, 2023
When I first started watching his YouTube videos I did think he had some authority to speak on this subject, however having seen a lot more and done some more research I have to say this guy has little to bring in terms of help and actually comes across in lots of his videos as angry and, to use his phrase, "emotionally dysregulated". I've seen a few social media threads that accuse him of gaslighting a lot of his followers and even some saying that he's bullied them and caused them serious mental health issues. He's also known to speak out quite strongly against feminism and in support of men's rights aligning with some quite controversial people. If you look at a lot of the videos he does on other people's channels you'll see him trying to fit himself to whatever is required by the other person so at times he'll describe himself as left wing, other times as a potential feminist, other times as having a feminine side, but equally he'll go on about Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson, he's even said things previously in support of Andrew Tate. He's known to delete things that don't make him look good and doesn't take criticism well.
All of that said, this book is little more than a bunch of anecdotes from his life, let's face it, he's just written a book about himself as another way to get himself attention and maybe make some cash. There's little here in the way of advice and all the five star reviews on here will be from highly vulnerable followers of his who he's "helped" and "saved" with his courses. Side note these are usually women used to being abused by other people. There also is no such thing as "Grannon publishing" as far as I'm aware this is just a lofty way of saying he self published. The guy sets up businesses left right and centre depending on what he's trying to sell to people and he's had to shut a few of them down over the years because they either didn't work or came under heavy fire due to complaints, lack of qualifications, and his ill treatment of people.
His courses may work but if they do it's because they are a set of coaching tools that he ripped from a book, nothing he sells to people has been researched or designed by him - I think he has been quite clear on this when questioned - he doesn't have proper qualifications to do that. So they're nothing you couldn't get somewhere else from someone else and a proper therapist is probably far more worth the money.
Now don't get me wrong everyone has to make a living but there are so many blurry lines with him in terms of his mixing his own personal experiences with coaching techniques and with seemingly authoritarian advice. It's not surprising a lot of his audience - again largely vulnerable women - get confused and think he's an actual qualified therapist as he doesn't go out of his way to make separations here. Many of his followers stick with him either because they fancy him or because he's rescued them from a horrible relationship by pointing out behavioural patterns they'd never noticed they had before and again do your research you'll find all sorts about how he capitalized on these oh so grateful people pleasing female fans and their adoration.
What mostly comes across about him though is that he's an angry man who's lost his way and has resentment basically every which way towards everybody. He won't help you much he still needs help himself.
All of that said, this book is little more than a bunch of anecdotes from his life, let's face it, he's just written a book about himself as another way to get himself attention and maybe make some cash. There's little here in the way of advice and all the five star reviews on here will be from highly vulnerable followers of his who he's "helped" and "saved" with his courses. Side note these are usually women used to being abused by other people. There also is no such thing as "Grannon publishing" as far as I'm aware this is just a lofty way of saying he self published. The guy sets up businesses left right and centre depending on what he's trying to sell to people and he's had to shut a few of them down over the years because they either didn't work or came under heavy fire due to complaints, lack of qualifications, and his ill treatment of people.
His courses may work but if they do it's because they are a set of coaching tools that he ripped from a book, nothing he sells to people has been researched or designed by him - I think he has been quite clear on this when questioned - he doesn't have proper qualifications to do that. So they're nothing you couldn't get somewhere else from someone else and a proper therapist is probably far more worth the money.
Now don't get me wrong everyone has to make a living but there are so many blurry lines with him in terms of his mixing his own personal experiences with coaching techniques and with seemingly authoritarian advice. It's not surprising a lot of his audience - again largely vulnerable women - get confused and think he's an actual qualified therapist as he doesn't go out of his way to make separations here. Many of his followers stick with him either because they fancy him or because he's rescued them from a horrible relationship by pointing out behavioural patterns they'd never noticed they had before and again do your research you'll find all sorts about how he capitalized on these oh so grateful people pleasing female fans and their adoration.
What mostly comes across about him though is that he's an angry man who's lost his way and has resentment basically every which way towards everybody. He won't help you much he still needs help himself.
October 9, 2024
TL:DR Don't read the book. Watch his videos instead.
I am only rating it 3 stars because his videos were super helpful to me in my journey combating Narc Abuse. But, sorry to admit Richard, this book was poorly written.
I don't think this would be the first reading for anyone trying to explore Narcissistic Abuse, and certainly won't be the last, so while he introduces some interesting points, he does so in such poor fashion. He penned most of the chapters in an autobiographical style, which might be something for many people. Not certainly for me. And even if it was meant to be anecdotally inspired, I wish it was just edited better.
People suffering from Narc Abuse are not here to waste time. They take every ounce of information seriously. I wish the author actually practiced what he preached, because I take him seriously. His videos have been life changing for me.
For example, he brings up martial arts in the 2nd chapter, something entirely pointless and non-tangential in a chapter titled "How to Trauma Bond a Child". While some of the concepts like predatory and prey co-dependency were introduced, I don't quite understand the point of having one's personal MMA style inked into a book on "How to Deprogram" from Narc Abuse.
Also, I don't think he's given any pointers on "How to Deprogram" at all.
You should be reading Ramani Durvasula for that.
I am only rating it 3 stars because his videos were super helpful to me in my journey combating Narc Abuse. But, sorry to admit Richard, this book was poorly written.
I don't think this would be the first reading for anyone trying to explore Narcissistic Abuse, and certainly won't be the last, so while he introduces some interesting points, he does so in such poor fashion. He penned most of the chapters in an autobiographical style, which might be something for many people. Not certainly for me. And even if it was meant to be anecdotally inspired, I wish it was just edited better.
People suffering from Narc Abuse are not here to waste time. They take every ounce of information seriously. I wish the author actually practiced what he preached, because I take him seriously. His videos have been life changing for me.
For example, he brings up martial arts in the 2nd chapter, something entirely pointless and non-tangential in a chapter titled "How to Trauma Bond a Child". While some of the concepts like predatory and prey co-dependency were introduced, I don't quite understand the point of having one's personal MMA style inked into a book on "How to Deprogram" from Narc Abuse.
Also, I don't think he's given any pointers on "How to Deprogram" at all.
You should be reading Ramani Durvasula for that.
July 4, 2023
As a long-standing fan of Richard Grannon and his work online, I looked forward to this book and the insights he has to offer.
Whereas the book will speak to those new to the subject matter, I left feeling a lot of material was left out of this book editorially, placing the reader into a newborn state, needing more than this text can offer.
In all honesty, I can not fault Richard for the narrative direction and the personal anecdotal reveals offered; he is personable and relatable to those of us who can relate.
The issue for those of us who have followed his online work, the needed additional work and reading necessary to have a book like this make sense will always draw us out of the requirement for an introductory text.
Richard makes excellent points and references throughout; I hope he takes up the mantel to follow up this text with something that speaks to our desire to be whole again rather than solely breaking a habitus.
Whereas the book will speak to those new to the subject matter, I left feeling a lot of material was left out of this book editorially, placing the reader into a newborn state, needing more than this text can offer.
In all honesty, I can not fault Richard for the narrative direction and the personal anecdotal reveals offered; he is personable and relatable to those of us who can relate.
The issue for those of us who have followed his online work, the needed additional work and reading necessary to have a book like this make sense will always draw us out of the requirement for an introductory text.
Richard makes excellent points and references throughout; I hope he takes up the mantel to follow up this text with something that speaks to our desire to be whole again rather than solely breaking a habitus.
November 4, 2024
I am a fan of Richard’s YT videos, so I bought this book about two years ago. I only just finished it because, honestly, it was hard to get into. I’m not a violent person and haven’t been in fights, so I didn’t relate much to his feelings early on. Recently, I skimmed through the book and found a paragraph that resonated with me about his relationship with a girl named Salome. That inspired me to finally finish it.
The book is short—about 200 pages—but the style and spacing make it feel more like 170. I’m giving it three stars because I felt the narrative jumped around a lot. I could almost sum up the entire book with this quote from the last page:
'Perhaps for some reason you don’t value yourself, your love, or your time? And if not, why not? And can we do something to fix that?'
In the end, the takeaway seems to be about valuing yourself, your love, and your time. Bada bing bada bang.
The book is short—about 200 pages—but the style and spacing make it feel more like 170. I’m giving it three stars because I felt the narrative jumped around a lot. I could almost sum up the entire book with this quote from the last page:
'Perhaps for some reason you don’t value yourself, your love, or your time? And if not, why not? And can we do something to fix that?'
In the end, the takeaway seems to be about valuing yourself, your love, and your time. Bada bing bada bang.
October 22, 2022
Beautifully honest and hard hitting
Thank you for your work. This book has been enlightening in many ways, painfully honest where at times the truth was hard hitting and deeply uncomfortable. But important to hear (read).
I have recommended it to various of my clients, which had different results, but I found that after some prep work and once the person is getting ready to hear some of these truths - the painful push reading some of these words can be transformational.
Sometimes things are complex and I have found that in some trauma or CPTSD experiences both narcissistic and co-dependant strategies can exist and displayed in one person and this can be passed down in similar ways.
I really like how the book succeeds to aim at untangling the two to help us in our understanding, compassion and grieving journey to find and heal our injured “Selves”.
Thank you for your work. This book has been enlightening in many ways, painfully honest where at times the truth was hard hitting and deeply uncomfortable. But important to hear (read).
I have recommended it to various of my clients, which had different results, but I found that after some prep work and once the person is getting ready to hear some of these truths - the painful push reading some of these words can be transformational.
Sometimes things are complex and I have found that in some trauma or CPTSD experiences both narcissistic and co-dependant strategies can exist and displayed in one person and this can be passed down in similar ways.
I really like how the book succeeds to aim at untangling the two to help us in our understanding, compassion and grieving journey to find and heal our injured “Selves”.
March 18, 2024
A very good book. This was very helpful and I think this is where people get scared. There are people who don’t like to be alone and then depend on the group around them. Then in some cases what if some people in that group are not very helpful. I knew what gaslighting was because of that abuse we tend to gaslight ourselves. It’s our ego talking to us and usually these thoughts are invalid. Anyway no spoilers for the book but I would say this. Very useful and very insightful. It is one of those books I would buy the hard copy to make notes and the audiobook which I do have. I do plan to buy the hard copy version!
December 16, 2024
Refreshingly honest
Thank you for this book! Thank you for taking the time to share your honest experience from both an educated and personal perspective that has made me feel slightly less alone in the world.
Every self-help book I read has a road map for recovery... Do this, do that, and voila! everything will be better, this book, however, just helps you understand yourself better and with an understanding of the self comes the grounds to build upon.
Brilliant. Thankyou.
Thank you for this book! Thank you for taking the time to share your honest experience from both an educated and personal perspective that has made me feel slightly less alone in the world.
Every self-help book I read has a road map for recovery... Do this, do that, and voila! everything will be better, this book, however, just helps you understand yourself better and with an understanding of the self comes the grounds to build upon.
Brilliant. Thankyou.
April 21, 2025
A quick read from a motivational speaker focused on improving relationships with the self and others. I liked it as an overview and a motivator for examining a potentially toxic relationship; however, I felt it was a tad reductive as in “you may be a codependent and it’s an addiction, consider breaking up”. (I realize in offering that example I am also being reductive.) I liked the book. I like how many examples the author offered from his own life. But I think it’s a conversation starter on the topic verses a gospel-truth place to get your information from.
February 19, 2023
Very glad to learn more about this person who can be found on YouTube.
Here is a person without any psychological degrees or credentials but he sounds very in touch with his own journey and has very helpful observations. I’m very glad he wrote this book and very glad I read it. Somehow I don’t remember encountering the word “hyper agreeable” before but it sheds more light on my own father and me and my siblings than any other single word I can think of.
Here is a person without any psychological degrees or credentials but he sounds very in touch with his own journey and has very helpful observations. I’m very glad he wrote this book and very glad I read it. Somehow I don’t remember encountering the word “hyper agreeable” before but it sheds more light on my own father and me and my siblings than any other single word I can think of.
April 8, 2023
I read this book in two days! I’ve loved Richard Grannon from the very beginning. Ever since I stumbled upon his YouTube page trying to understand why I kept attracting narcissists, or at the very least highly narcissistic people into my life. His YouTube videos have been a source of relief and motivation. And I had been waiting for him to write a book. Nothing out of this world to be found here but it was enjoyable and it felt REAL.
August 6, 2024
A relatively good balance of real life stories by the author accompanied by established psychiatric and psychodynamic theoretical principles (e.g., CPTSD, narcissistic supply, shared fantasy) but also tough love "do this, do that" crap that you will find in probably all self-help books. For me, the authentic experiences shared by the author were the most engaging, considering that I follow the author's work and I am already aware of his thinking.
November 17, 2024
Not an easy read in the sense that it gives some home truths you may find uncomfortable, but essential reading in that it exposes the rock someone may be hiding under to escape self reflection. Richard, a qualified therapist, does what he does with style, flair and honesty. His YouTube channel is equally powerful. A wake-up call for those of us who have been in, and continue to fall into, toxic intimate relationships.
November 23, 2025
I looove Richard Grannon. There are a scant few people I can say saved my life, and he's one of them.
I took my time reading this because I wanted it all to soak in, and I wanted to take my time with the 'homework' parts of it. Well worth it! This, along with Richard's many YouTube and Instagram videos, have bolstered me up and given me strength. I would recommend this book to anyone, and I would buy any book he writes.
I took my time reading this because I wanted it all to soak in, and I wanted to take my time with the 'homework' parts of it. Well worth it! This, along with Richard's many YouTube and Instagram videos, have bolstered me up and given me strength. I would recommend this book to anyone, and I would buy any book he writes.
September 23, 2022
Thank you, Richard!
I have watched your videos and done the 30 Day Challenge. This book is another confirmation that I am headed more or less in the right direction. You have taught me to read my map and use my compass. I'm taking this trek alone, but at least I know to enjoy the sights as I fumble forward. Bless you!
I have watched your videos and done the 30 Day Challenge. This book is another confirmation that I am headed more or less in the right direction. You have taught me to read my map and use my compass. I'm taking this trek alone, but at least I know to enjoy the sights as I fumble forward. Bless you!
September 27, 2022
Quick and easily digestible read
Richard has a way of saying everything ones been thinking. So many things clicked together after reading A Cult Of One. If you've ever questioned why you put so much effort into someone else and they don't seem to do the same for you, read this book. It will provide important insight whether or not you've encounterrd narcissis/NPD.
Richard has a way of saying everything ones been thinking. So many things clicked together after reading A Cult Of One. If you've ever questioned why you put so much effort into someone else and they don't seem to do the same for you, read this book. It will provide important insight whether or not you've encounterrd narcissis/NPD.
March 24, 2023
I just finished it. I was happy to find it is much like his videos in that he's still brutally raw, honest and funny. I've seen too many of his videos but still learned a lot from the book and took plenty of notes. If you are looking for peace after dealing with a nasty ex, you can find some much needed answers in this book. The only thing it is missing is some Danny Wilson. :)
November 21, 2025
Different take on mental health.
We are all on the co-dependent spectrum.
We all play an unhealthy part in our unhealthy relationships.
Co-dependency is a global pandemic.
Grannon weaves his life experiences and failed relationships into his discussion of mental health issues with remarkable humility.
We are all on the co-dependent spectrum.
We all play an unhealthy part in our unhealthy relationships.
Co-dependency is a global pandemic.
Grannon weaves his life experiences and failed relationships into his discussion of mental health issues with remarkable humility.
November 25, 2025
good read with useful, relatable insights
Having follows me grannon for a while in YT, I decided to read this book.
It’s well written and I could definitely ‘hear’ him from the podcasts and YT content I have consumed.
His experiences were relatable and had some practical suggestions to potentially consider.
Highly recommend.
Having follows me grannon for a while in YT, I decided to read this book.
It’s well written and I could definitely ‘hear’ him from the podcasts and YT content I have consumed.
His experiences were relatable and had some practical suggestions to potentially consider.
Highly recommend.
May 1, 2023
Plenty of food for thought
I’m an avid viewer of Richard’s YouTube channel and I couldn’t wait to read this book. He provides exercises to help you think through your values and avoid being taken advantage of again.
I’m an avid viewer of Richard’s YouTube channel and I couldn’t wait to read this book. He provides exercises to help you think through your values and avoid being taken advantage of again.
May 9, 2024
So so good. Touches base on so many different avenues of healing and being on the receiving end of narcissists. If you're looking for a head-petting empathetic victim read, this isn't it, this is a book focused more on action.
January 7, 2025
The book is trough personal journey of an author. It explains a lot and gives some techniques to use.As for a first book it's not bad at all especially on such a heavy subject. Very honest and sensitive.
October 1, 2022
Brave insight into narcissistic abuse and the far-reaching effects it can have throughout one's life. Also practical exercises to put into place to help aid healing.
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