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576 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published August 18, 2021







‘I can’t forget them. If I do, there will be no one left to remember that they ever existed.’
“That was how my mother learned that she was Jewish. That incident in the schoolyard in 1950. Thunk. Suddenly, and without explanation. The stone that hit her was much like the stone that had hit Myriam at the same age, that one thrown by Polish children in Lodz when she went to meet her cousins for the first time.
1925 and 1950 weren’t so very far apart.
For the children of Céreste, like the children of Lodz—and the children of Paris in 2019, for that matter—it was nothing more than a joke, a schoolyard taunt like any other. But for Myriam, and Lélia, and Clara, it was an interrogation.”
“As the years passed, the issue remained complex, intangible, incomparable to anything else. I might have one Spanish grandfather and one Breton one, a great-grandfather who was a painter and another who’d captained an ice-breaking ship, but nothing—absolutely nothing—mattered as much as that I was descended from a line of Jewish women.”
“I struggle endlessly to make a connection between the thought of my family and the mythologized occurrence that is genocide. And that struggle is what constitutes me. It is the thing that defines me. For almost forty years, I have tried to draw a shape that resembles me, but without success. Today, though, I can connect those disparate dots. I can see, in the constellation of fragments scattered over the page, a silhouette in which I recognize myself at last: I am the daughter, and the granddaughter, of survivors.”
"…dans ma vie j’ai toujours eu beaucoup de mal à prononcer la phrase : « Je suis juive. » Je ne me sentais pas autorisée à la dire. Et puis… c’est bizarre… comme si j’avais intégré les peurs de ma grand-mère. D’une certaine manière, la partie juive cachée en moi était rassurée que la partie goy la recouvre, pour la rendre invisible. Je suis insoupçonnable. Je suis le rêve accompli de mon arrière-grand-père Ephraïm, j’ai le visage de la France."
"…all my life, I've found it difficult to say "I'm Jewish". I didn't feel I had the right to say that. And then...it's strange...it's as if I've internalized my grandmother's fears [of being a fugitive during the war]. In a way, the Jewish part of me took comfort in the non-Jewish part that made it invisible. I am undetectable. I'm my great grandfather Ephraïm's dream realised, I look thoroughly French."
"Je pouvais avoir un grand-père au sang espagnol ou un autre de sang breton, un arrière-grand-père peintre ou un autre commandant de brise-glace, mais rien, absolument rien, n’était comparable au fait d’être issue d’une lignée de femmes juives."
"I might have a Spanish-origin grandfather, and another from Brittany, a great-grandfather who was an artist and another who commanded a ship that forged passages through Arctic ice, but nothing, nothing, equaled the fact that I was descended from a long line of Jewish women."
"When my grandmother was a young woman, she hoped to return home from a Soviet prison camp to her three children.
When my grandmother was deported to the prison camp, my great-grandmother hoped her daughter would come home.
When my mother was a small child, she perched on my great-grandmother’s lap and hoped the bombs would fall on other houses.
When the family had to leave East Prussia, my great-grandmother hoped she would survive the journey with her three small grandchildren.
When my grandmother returned from the prison camp, she hoped she would remember the names of her three children."



The uniqueness of this catastrophe lay in the paradox of its insidious slowness and its viciousness. Looking back, everyone wondered why they hadn’t reacted sooner, when there had been so much time to do so. How they had been so blithely optimistic? But it was too late now. The law of October 3, 1940, stated that “any person with three grandparents of the Jewish race, or with two grandparents of that race if his/her spouse is Jewish” would be considered a Jew themselves. It also prohibited Jews from holding any sort of public office. Teachers, military personnel, government employees, and those who worked for public authorities—all were obliged to resign from their positions. Jews were also forbidden to publish articles in newspapers or participate in any of the performing arts: theatre, film, radio.
[Anne talking with her mother in present day]“Wasn’t there also a list or authors whose books were banned?”
“Quite. The Liste Otto, named after the German ambassador to Paris. Otto Abetz. It listed all the books withdrawn from sale in bookstores. All the Jewish authors were there, of course, but also communist ones and French writers who were considered ‘disruptive’ by the regime, including Colette, Aristide Bruant, André Malraux, Louis Aragon, and even some dead authors, like Jean de la Fontaine. (98–99)”